I’m so heartbroken. My little guy’s 1st birthday is Thursday and his party is Saturday. I sent out invites over a month ago to all our family and friends. Out of my very large family of 50+ people, only 7 people said they were coming… most didn’t even give acknowledge the invite to at least let me know they wouldn’t be coming…I know it’s his first birthday and he won’t remember it, but I just hurt for him and have been crying all day because of it… we have gone to all my cousins’ kids birthday parties or special occasions without hesitation every time we have been invited but why can’t they do the same for my sweet boy?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Most of my family isn't showing to my sons party
Some people just dont rsvp
Don’t take any offense to it. It’s their loss, not yours or your sweet boy’s. The people who matter will show up.
Your family probably does not like you that much. If they don’t like the mother, they will not like the child. If possible just invite your friends to the party.
Save your money and take him somewhere yourself and if you have a husband!!! Lesson learned dont do anything else for anyone anymore!! Keep to yourself and learn to be there only for your son and close ones
And don’t show up to anybody’s party who doesnt show up to your babies.
I had my cousin in same situation and everyone showed up without RSVP just wait for the day. If nobody shows up then they just taught you how to treat them
Just have the best day ever with your baby & whoever shows up! I know it hurts but try to remember he only turns 1 once!!
Hopefully it’s not COVID fears.
Just stick to birthday adventures instead.
My sons 1st and 2nd beat weren’t the best memories.
Last year for his 4th we went to the zoo. 2 sets of grandparents. Him, his dad and myself. It was a very hot, but very good day. And no party supplies or food or zillions of gifts to clean up.
Some ppl don’t always RSVP. I usually forget & call the day before or day of.
Some ppl don’t see the point in celebrating bdays that young. That’s ok too.
So, don’t focus on how many. Focus on celebrating his 1st birthday with those who can be there.
Unfortunately, family can sometimes hurt us the most. I’m so sorry.
Not everyone has your lovely heart
Make wonderful memories with those that matter Happy birthday lil one
Had this happen. That is when I decided I would spend every penny on my kid. Whatever she wanted. Where ever she wanted to eat or me to cook. I’m absolutely done spending hundreds on a party that people don’t show for.
Have you not spoken to them? Open a line of communication… maybe they didn’t RSVP, or they need to be reminded. “Hey! Can’t wait to see you guys Saturday, ‘____’ is going to be so excited!”
Because sometimes people and family just suck. My daughter’s first birthday people were like “yeah, I will be there” her own grandparents said “see you Saturday at your party” Not ONE person showed up. From then on, I didn’t do elaborate parties.
at least now you know who makes an effort and you can reciprocate it back to those ones only… f the rest.
People usually font RSVP and a month heads up is too much. A week or two is best. Aybe send a text reminding them of the party and ask who plans to come so you can ensure enough food.
Well now that you saved money on 43 people you can make this a party that they all would have felt the missed out on, make it one to remember and take a million pictures for you child to cherish one day. Forget the rest
Don’t worry my friend, as a mom of 6 the fewer who show up the more time you have with those guest, it all works out for the best in long run, kisses, relax, and have fun, and a very happy birthday to your munchkin
Celebrate the ones who show up, they’re the ones that matter. But out of 50 people there are chances that some had prior obligations or plans. I know where I am at it is spring break so that could also be a contributing factor. If you really want answers you could reach out to each of them individually and ask them if they plan on coming and you wanted to check since they didn’t respond to the invitation.
N there i am whished noone came n we could celebrate just with family,40-50 people every single birthday n its so costly and not like he has fun with all this adults its better to just takr ur son n go some fun place
Be happy 7 do show up. Nobody showed up to my daughters 2nd birthday. And even though people RSVP’d our last birthday party, nobody showed.
Everything is going to be alright. Enjoy that child. I wouldn’t even bring it up to the "no-shows " …I remember that less is sometimes more
My family hasn’t attended a party for my son is 7 years and none attended my daughter’s baby shower, none were at the hospital when I gave birth etc. I feel your pain. Just tell yourself daily how lucky you are to be given a little guy that you can show a different kind of love to
Happens quiet a lot unfortunately. I invite if no one turns up just shows who is really there for you and who would like to be in your sons life. Some family members can be so toxic it’s best to leave it be sometimes. I hope your little man has a great day and the thought his mumma has actually made an effort is all that matters to him
My family doesn’t show up for ours either. So we do birthday family trips instead
Stop showing up for their birthday parties. Do them how they do you and your baby.
Bc mfs are selfish and that’s it
wow jane, its not the childs fault the parent(s) don’t like you if thats the case! smh, not very mature punishing the child just because of the parent(s)!
Hugs like you said he may not remember , but he will remember you were there. That’s all that matters beautiful momma
Girl it’s been like that for the past 8 years for my nephew and 7 for my niece. People claim to love them so much. But don’t even check up on them or come to a birthday party. But trust and believe. Kids see and know who’s there and who’s not. My nephew god mother has never showed up to any of the parties. This past birthday showed my nephew she doesn’t really care. He no longer cares for her. If we ask about her. He said he doesn’t want to talk to her or anything. So trust me, kids know. Don’t stress though
Stop going to their’s and if they ask tell them , it goes both ways
I invited most of my family to my daughter’s first birthday. They all bailed. Only 5 people showed up. She’s 8 now. I never invited anyone ever again after that.
Call a few people and ask what’s up. Maybe they’re super busy, maybe they’re coming but forgot tell you, maybe they forgot, maybe they accidentally deleted or threw away the invite, maybe they’re sick, maybe they’re afraid of COVID or germy kids in general. People can be a-holes about RSVPing. I’m sorry.
I always ask for an RSVP. I only fix enough for who do. If they haven’t and did show up I always have little extra. Sorry for your disappoint .
It’s hard, but What I’ve learned is focus on those that do show up and don’t let the others ruin your day. It’s your baby’s 1st birthday!!! Those that matter will be there for you and those don’t don’t can kick rocks!
Maybe more will show up and just forgot to RVSP. But regardless people are jerks, you shower that boy in love and fun and make it the best day ever. Take all the pics and make memories, who cares about everyone else!!! Celebrate with the people who show up and care.
My kids birthday was always during Christmas vacation where families were gone out of town/state and visiting other family members. It was hard but I always made sure she had a great day! You may also give them some different options for their big day like the zoo, have a friend go with them to the movies, miniature golf or swim place etc. when they get a bit older. Enjoy the ones that showed up and enjoy the day!
If I had to do over again, my kids birthdays would be celebrated with our immediate family then we would do something together. Memories are so much better than depending on people showing up and wasting money.
Create a private video room on FB and invite everyone this way. You can be live and they can still be apart.
My family is the same way. I go out of my way with bringing my kids out to family members birthdays, we bring cakes or cupcakes for them and presents etc and my family can’t even say happy birthday to my kids. Smh doesn’t surprise me. Just another reason to add to cutting them out. 🥲
If they can’t make time for you & yours, stop making time for them & theirs.
Stop placing expectations on people …If you want happiness …please refrain yourself from expecting too much …
I sent an invitation to my friends to attend an event this Saturday …no one responded ,they won’t stop being my friends ,they are still my friends
…I have no ill feelings, what if their baby got sick,they are in hospital, what if the haven’t even paid their rent,what if ,what if …
Invite people but stop putting your expecting too much people got their issues too
…That way you will live a happy life and by the way hata my invites no one responded …
Sad but its okay …
So give your boy the best
Do you know how many people attend my sons birthday parties but don’t invite us for their kids birthdays parties? So many. I have now decided to not host actual birthday parties and rather spent the money on an exciting trip somewhere for my son.
I mean for myself we are still hard core social distancing and not going to any social gatherings.
Enjoy the ones who do attend…and take note of the ones who didn’t…don’t go to their partys next time…
Instead of a party do a family photoshoot with the little guy and maybe a smash cake. Lockdown has taught us that there are very few people that actually show up in times of “need”. Create your own happiness, block out the noise and have a blast.
Whoever is meant to be there will be there and are the ones you know truly support you and your child. Concentrate on your child and have the absolute best day that you can!
I feel like this happens a lot. I spent over $400 on a birthday party, even paid for extra slots for children who I expected to come and didn’t. I refuse to spend money on parties now. Last year I took my kiddo out and we spend the day together doing whatever he wanted. I loved making memories instead.
With large families, it’s just to many baby showers, birthdays, sprinkles, diaper parties, wedding showers and weddings. It’s just a lot for everyone in the family. Maybe invite grandparents and a few cousins that are his age.
Y’all have other family members at kids birthdays? I’ve never really had but immediate family at kids birthday parties… So at most it was my kids (stepmom/ex) me, my parents (sometimes) her parents (sometimes) , late wife’s parents (rarely) and that’s it
I’ve stopped going to my other family’s functions and cut them off pretty much. My step siblings and I don’t get along
I seriously wouldn’t let it bother me and the knes who don’t show up quit going to their parties
I can really feel the pain from reading this post.
God knows what and who he needs. Always be thankful. Ask the Lord to help you to deal with it. It’s a shame families are like this, but we can’t change them. Happy 1st Birthday little guy. God bless you all.
You’re hurting for YOU not for your son BUT that is okay
We have the same issue when it comes to relatives and our children
Literally no one calls or gives them gifts on their birthdays but that will never stop us for doing it for their kids and we make sure our kids know they’re loved and want for nothing
Y’all must be forgetting about the pandemic. 🤦🏼♀ Smdh. No one is trying to catch any of the multiple variants that keep popping up. Times have changed since March of 2020, celebrate his bday not the fact that people showed up, he won’t remember it!
Don’t make time for them if they can’t you. Same happened to my boy on his dad’s side of the family. They went on to do that more n more, Forget them. Don’t need a min of it.
It’s only the start.
Times are changing and people are busy…i wouldn’t take it as personal as you are taking it. The ones that want to be there will make it special.
I feel for you
But your family is right
Its bubs first birthday all he will be interested in is the paper and the boxes
In my opinion
The first birthday party is really only a get together for adults
People don’t do birthday parties like they use to. I remember 15 years ago we had big parties for my sons birthday over the years I’ve learned big parties is just spending money on other people now we will have dinner with anyone who what’s to join us where we only pay for our family and we spend the kids birthday doing something fun like getting a room at the beach. Remember you can’t make everything perfect and you don’t have to kids don’t remember perfect they remember mama was always there and that’s what really matters.
Totally not worth crying over, focus on your little one and just him. It’s his birthday and he’s not going to know who showed up or not. As long as you’re there I’m sure he’ll be ok.
The ones who show up are the ones who matter.
It’s ok to be upset, but birthday parties are phasing out anymore at least for some of us. Out of a big family, tons of kids on both sides, my son HASNT had anyone wanna come to his birthday party AT ALL, except 1 set of grandparents. I think it’s becoming the norm, but it really does suck. Since he would have no one at a party for him, we just take him and do something extremely fun as a family.
I am so sorry that this has happened. Bless you and your family. Some people don’t have any class even if they are family
You have every right to be upset. I would give them the same energy they are giving you from now on!
Your son will feel loved and know that it’s a special occasion. Don’t let the actions of your family spoil that.
My daughter is almost 12 and I’ve never done a birthday party for her. Her birthday is right after school starts and right before Labor Day, so people really wouldn’t show up anyway because there is a lot going on in general that time of year. Instead, it’s just a day all about her, whatever she wants to do (day trip up north or shopping/nails and lunch/dinner wherever she wants). Nobody is ever disappointed, nobody is ever stressed about a party or who will/won’t show up, it is really just about her. Even as she has gotten older I’ve asked if she wants to change it or try a party or a couple friends and she says no, she likes what we do.
This is why i don’t do parties. Last year for my youngest 1st birthday the only person who acknowledged it was his day was my mom and she lives on the other side of the country from us. If they really cared they would make a effort.
It’s not about how many people are coming, it’s about the quality of people who take the time to wish him a special first birthday. Take notes on who shows up - chances are, they’re the ones who will continue to show up for you and your child.
Happy birthday to him!
Welcome to the world of kids birthdays…honestly it will continue to be a disappointment with people deciding to not show…even when they get into school and you invite the whole class and only a few if any come. Though your son won’t remember this particular Birthday, let it be a lesson for future events not to put so much money and effort and emphasis on “guests”, make it all about your son and make it super exclusive, don’t ever let your baby feel like people don’t want to be there or that no one wanted to come, that does something to a child. The conventional Birthday parties from years past are really not what’s done anymore, we have to evolve too. Break from tradition and make your own traditions. For us, we do a Birthday week, where we as a family celebrate the birthday boy or girls (there’s 4 of them), they choose where we eat or what we eat at home, they choose something fun for the family to do together that suits their personal interests each night, and then one day during the week we have immediate family join us for a fun night out (this is when we do presents and cake). That’s just what we do and what works for us, but you can literally do whatever makes your child happiest and make it your own and special. I’ve been there with the disappointment too and it sucks. Sometimes we have to make our own family traditions and things we do for our kids, opposed to what we’re told we’re supposed to do.
Exactly what someone else said. If they can’t make time for u guys, don’t do it for them. The ones who aren’t coming should have atleast acknowledged the invite and told u
This is exactly why I changed how I am with doing for others. Before having kids always showed up and went all out for others kids but when I starting having kids of my own most wouldn’t even show up. So now I just invite those who want to be a part of my kids lives and don’t bother with those that don’t even have the decency to respond. Quality over quantity!!
Happy 1st Birthday to your little man!!
Because People Suck!
Many some forgot🤷🏼♀️ i always text people 2 months before party to give all the info, then a month before to remind & then 2 weeks before saying just getting finally head count for food. I find alot more people show up when i do that. Some just need alot of reminders of stuff
Only one person showed up at my sons First Birthday I will never again host a party and invite anyone lol. Just going to leave town on a trip each year!
It’s about him. Celebrate with who does come and stop dwelling on things. In the end, it’s you and your kiddo vs the world.
When our son graduated from high school nobody from my side of the family came to his open house. Until this happened l use to go to all the ones that l was invited to. I live about 45 minutes away from them. Since this happened l don’t bother to go any more. Just send a card.
Fck them! And stop showing up for them.
Not worth crying over… give ur child enough so he won’t even feel an empty space… it’s ur child . Stop giving family ur energy… they doh wanna come that’s them… stop allow ppl to have that much power over ur emotions… u should be ok even if is just the two of u celebrating his day…
I agree w/ an earlier comment. Those who show up r the ones who matter and who should be invited next time. I understand if ppl can’t make it due to prior obligations, but they should at least let u know they can’t make it to the party.
Sorry angel, im sure u hurting for your child, Happy birthday to your child blessings on his born day
Been in that same situation recently. Yes it’s messed up but it’s THEIR loss not your’s or your babies. Your child will still feel loved and your child will see who’s there and who isn’t. Don’t let those that don’t acknowledge or don’t show up from ruining your babies day and don’t let it get you down because at the end of the day you’re all that matters to your little one.
Maybe reach out and make sure they got the invite. My family sucks at rsvping but they still show up
People can be self-centered and shelfish with their time and money. Spend your money on a magical day with your child and maybe 1 or 2 friends.
Welcome to mommy hood. It hurts. I stopped throwing bday parties for my kids when they were little. Everyone wants you to come to theirs but no one comes to yours.
Celebrate the people who come and have a blast like it’s 100 people! The sooner you embrace it, I promise it will remove a lot of disappointment!
Happy Birthday Little Guy. I’d go to your Birthday. That’s when you’ll tear apart your very own cake…and those are the best memories. Mamma it’s ok enjoy the ones that are there. You are the Best quality for your baby boy.
My kids came to me and said they’re done with parties hardly anyone show up to. Idk what the problem is, even well before the pandemic people can’t be arsed to attend. We have been doing outings, my 14yo wants to take her 2 best friends to a Waterpark. Fine, it’s still less than what I’d be spending on a party.
People sometimes don’t rsvp so maybe more will show up. I always make sure I have extra food and a few more grab bags. I hope people show but if not enjoy those that do. Xoxo
I have been there girl! Only like 5 people showed up to my youngests 1st birthday last year, not many people have ever showed up to any of my kids birthdays. I’ve ultimately decided until the kids have more friends at school we are just going to do close family and friends or bring them somewhere special for their birthday
Maybe more people will show up! I’m bad about RSVPing. I usually forget. Hugs.
Rsvp and letting someone know your coming in advance is an lost art
Most will show with RSVPing
Celebrate with the people that do come. I think it hurts more because the first few birthdays I’ve always been told “are for mom” I looked at them as “celebrating my survival of motherhood”. You get to pick the village that you surround yourself and your child with. This is one of those moments that helps you pick and choose that village of support. Enjoy the day no matter who shows up and who doesn’t. You’ve earned it.
I know how you feel; I have a small family here at home, but they can’t be bothered to see their only niece and nephew. It hurts, and I think about it every day, but that’s the true them they’ve shown me time and again. So I’m letting it be. Cry one last time mama, and then cherish the real family that shows up. I have more friends than family that has been there for my little family honestly, and I’m so thankful for them.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. In all fairness, are you sure they got the invites? The mail has been shit lately. Call them and ask. Wouldn’t it be terrible if they didn’t get the invite and thought you were not inviting them? If they’re not coming, ask why not. Let them know how upsetting it is to you and take note for future reference. Feel free to reciprocate when an important event happens in their lives. Stay blessed doll