My 1 year old will not feed herself: Advice?

Please help! My daughter is a year old. She can hold her bottle but refuses to feed herself. When I spoon feed her food, I give her the spoon to play with when she’s done, and she puts that in her mouth. I feed her by hand when I can, scrambled eggs, bananas, but she won’t pick them up off her high chair tray and feed herself. She won’t feed herself anything. However, she will pick up her bottle to play with it, she will put a spoon and toys in her mouth, she will try to put stuff in our mouth, but she won’t feed herself food or bottle. I’m at a loss. Her doctor says it’s not a development thing because she can hold her bottle, reach for toys, switch hands, etc. Does anybody else have a 1yr old that didn’t want to feed themself? Any advice? I’m getting mixed feedback.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 1 year old will not feed herself: Advice?

Have you tried from a baby plate? My one twin prefers the highchair tray but the other twin eats best when the food is on baby plate with the edges or bowl.

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She is one year old. Give her time. You expect too much

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See if you can get an Occupation Therapy consultation with a doctor’s not. My 18 year old had similar problems . Damien had sensory issues but he was able to get pass it thanks to therapy

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Stop doing it for her. She can do it but isn’t because she knows you are. She can eat, she has showed you she’s able to make objects into her mouth…

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Try off a character plate she likes rather than high chair x

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Do they need a spoon to eat? Give them things they can pick up and eat…not mushy things maybe but things that are easier to pick up. Put them on a plate so they know it’s food. I have a child who still isn’t a fan of cutlery though…

My oldest being the first wouldn’t feed herself either let alone hold a bottle at 1, if you just stop feeding your baby, yourself at all she will figure it out, she’s not going to starve herself if you feel that strongly about it. My youngest hates getting her fingers gross so she gravitated to the fork and spoon very early, that could have something to do it or she’s not interested yet. Don’t sweat it, she’s 1

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Really fun foods-colorful and what you’re eating. When we had corn on the cob we gave our eaten cobs to the kids to gnaw on (sounds mean but no choking hazard and they loved it.) If your family eats meat, you can give her safe bones.

My 13 month old won’t either. He will hold his sippy and if we give him cheese puffs he will eat it. If i cut up his food and put a few pieces on his tray he will eat a few. Sometimes he drops a few on the floor for the dog. I wouldn’t stress to much honestly. My son does things on his own time. Don’t compare your daughter to another child, she is her own person and will get it at her pace. If she wasn’t holding a bottle at least yea i think it would call for concern but at this point don’t stress mama she’ll get it

How long has she been eating table food?

She’s only 1, think it is a bit early to expect her to feed herself.

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She is a year old? Stop reading the book. Not every baby is going to be the way the book says they should be. Stop being lazy and let your child grow up at their pace.

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Literally use her hand to pick her food up and put it in her mouth using her hand. Put your foot down. She may scream and cry but tell her no. Show her over and over again. She’s being stubborn and is dependent on you doing it. My son wouldn’t walk until he was over 16 months cause he wanted everyone to carry him. :rofl: We had to tell him no and walk away from him, it made him soo angry. He got fed up and finally did it. She’s testing you. Don’t let her adorable self win. It’s hard but you have to show her she can actually do it. My kids are 14 and 11, I’ve been through all that before. :rofl::rofl:

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My sons nearly 5 and sometimes cant be arsed to feed himself😂 he can, he just cant be bothered sometimes

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My daughter was 16 months before she did this.

sippy cups no bottle

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My son who is 9 now was the same way…by 18 months he wanted to do it himself! It takes time…I started him with finger foods and worked my way down…he enjoy farley biscuits alot…shes fine its a fine motor skill and some things arent that pinchable to pick up…mine loved spaghetti I fed that too him then tried a few strands in a bowl on his tray he was anle.to.manipulate the strands! So slow down let her be shes a baby

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Um yes stop let her sit there dont do it for her 🤦 maybe put tv on n sit her in highchair tv as in nick jr or pbs kids trust me it works lol

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Maybe she likes the attention from you at mealtime.

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Try laying yogurt bites out for her to snack on but in all honesty a 1 year old won’t necessarily pick up a spoon or fork to feed themselves nor food food. Start with snacks.

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Play pick up games to strengthen eye hand co-ordination. Putting blocks in a bucket, stacking blocks, ect

Well if she has the ability but won’t do it, it’s because she knows you will do it for her. Also, she still has some time to develop the full ability to feed herself.

One of my children did that and i feed him far a while and my doctor said the baby will do it wen they are ready doint push the child to do it every baby is diffent. And will do it wen they are ready

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Tbh, stop hand feeding her and she’ll figure it out. When she gets frustrated, point to the food and say ‘pick it up and put it in your mouth’. She’s able to do it but she thinks that you feeding her is part of the mealtime routine so she doesn’t try. Don’t punish her if she grabs the food instead of a utensil because the main thing is learning how to get the food to her mouth. I didn’t hand feed either of my children and we haven’t had this issue, though it takes longer to get utensils to be used, but my 7 month old is already feeding himself with his hands.

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She’s still a baby… it will come with time , no worries. What ever you do don’t “punish “ for not not eating at a certain timeline……we don’t want food issues to be a thing. Be patient and just feed her for now… keep providing those opportunities for her to eat but don’t stress

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She’s still young 1 year old

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She’s 1… Why do you people expect so much out of literal babies… Feed her you’re being [email protected] asf

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Do some crossing the midline exercises with her. If it doesn’t help then acts of service might be her love language

Let her get hungry. To days children have so many snacks they never get real hungry.

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It’ll take some time for her to learn. Be patient this is all new for her. Meanwhile have her watch you eat with your hands she will mimic you. My little one is about to be 1 she doesn’t know how to use utensils yet. She does know how to feed herself, I started her at around 4mo and she doesn’t like to be fed now​:sweat_smile:. But spoon and fork doesn’t come till maybe 1½ or so not every child is the same. You can do this :heart:

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My baby is 16mo and just started feeding herself 2 weeks ago. Dont fret every baby is different doesnt mean she is behind just moves at their own pace. Keep offering it and she will do it when she is ready.

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Look into baby led weaning

One of my children would only eat every 6 hours she just would not wake up. Even when was still in the hospital. Made the staff up set

She just being a baby​:grinning: and if her doctor not concern then easy up and just wait tell she ready to self feed herself :relaxed: I feed my boyz and now they hate when I feed them. But give her time and she will get the hang of it​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::kissing_heart:

I would let her sit there until she figures it out that you are not gonna feed her any longer and don’t give in.

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Do hand over hand with her holding the spoon. She’ll get the hang of it! No worries!

Put the food in front of her and walk away tell she is a big girl and she can feed herself play a little game then walk away

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If you stop doing it for her, she should pick up doing it herself. Also, give that child a cup, not a bottle!

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my daughter is 2 and still refuses any table food. only wants baby food/smooth textures like yogurt, pudding etc…she drinks from a cup, she doesnt like feeding herself food but will occasionally! she eats all her crackers and chips herself but that’s it. we went to therapy and it made her eat less…the more i push the more backwards she goes so i gave up and am just gonna let her do it when she wants to…its her only development stage she isnt ahead in so maybe just wait it out a little more but continue to encourage her

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Give her time she’s only 1

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She is still young. But, the first thing I thought of is that maybe she doesn’t like her hands getting messy. My son wouldn’t even touch his 1 year smash cake for this reason. And she probably likes the closeness with the bottle. It will come in time. Just keep giving opportunities and it will fall into place.

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If her doctor isn’t worried I wouldn’t be

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Uh, well my 2 year old son doesn’t feed himself either! :woman_shrugging:t2:He Just started holding his drinks!

She will figure it out every baby is different. Both of mine use spoons and forks they are almost 2 and 4. This is the stage they eat with their hands etc just offer her the spoon and she will work it out.

My son started to feed himself at 1 yr 6. Just keep encouraging her. So instead of giving her a spoon after meals give her her own spoon during meal time. Also don’t compare her with other babies. She is to busy figuring out how to end covid to feed herself lol

Pshh… my 5yr old doesn’t even want to feed himself… (being lazy mostly). Lol! I do help him with like pudding/yogurt/fruit cups cuz its hard to get the last bit but otherwise… nope he can do it. In due time, I’m sure she will fees herself and do it well.

My son just started using a spoon and he is almost 2 just give them time

She’s only one. It’s ok. She will eventually start doing it. I never minded feeding mine. Hell still do sometimes and he’s almost 2. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Give it time she is only 1. Try to keep calm.

She will do it when she is ready, do not force her .

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She’s still too young. Wait till she’s 3 then she will know how to do everything but only when you’re not looking.

Try one of those dolls that she feeds the food that comes with it and tell her she eats her food!!
Or buy her some fruit in a cup
I think she will grow out of it by 2

Shes ONE!!! Dont be Scared Babies are Different some are fast some are slow.Let your baby pick up at her Own Pace dont rush her :heart::heart:

Put the food in her hand … help her with it … she will do it in her own time but show her it’s ok

My girl went through this at that age… she didn’t want to get her hands messy. As long as they can bring it to their mouth you are fine

I can’t!!! Didn’t bother reading such NONSENSE!!! :roll_eyes:

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Both my kids were basically self feeding by 1. What I did was eat with them so they can see you. I did baby led weaning so no purees. Don’t bother with spoons yet just put food on a mat or table and let them play eventually food will make it in the mouth. Lol scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, fruit chunks, frozen waffles all huge favorites of both my kids.

I’d she is hungry she will. Eat off her tray to model eating and walk away

She’s only 1 momma. With mine I would give a spoon but I tried doing mostly finger food at 1 with like ranch are ketchup ( something to dip it in) and they loved feeding themselves but if it wasn’t something like that I helped them she will catch on give her time she’s still new to this

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She’s one! Give it time! It’s fine!

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Just enjoy it while it lasts because it goes quick. All babies are different and go at different speeds. I guarantee nothing is wrong and soon she will be doing it all on her own

Prob just wants u to do it which is pretty normal

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My son didn’t do that ether. Lots of other things factored in it this but at 18 months he still wasn’t doing it and I had him evaluated for autism. He’s autistic and still won’t eat with his hands but he will if I give him a fork and put the food on it for him. It’s a work and progress and took a long time but we do food therapy. He will be 4 next month.

Not at all saying your daughter could be autistic I’m just saying that was the case with my son.

forget the utensils finger food on a sectioned plate she will eat when ready

Shes freaking ONE. Good lord lady.

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She wants her mommy to feed her. Shes just a year old. My god enjoy your time with her. Some day she wont need you and you’ll be sad. So enjoy

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She’s a baby make the most of her!!!

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I can’t believe the amount of people on here that are like “omg seriously” like she’s over reacting. A one year not eating finger foods on her own or holding her own bottle should be worried about. At least she notices this shit about her child ! All the people that are acting like shes being dramatic probably dont even realize the little things about their own children

My kids 3 and she can feed her self but choose not to and has me do it :woman_shrugging::joy::woozy_face: every kids different some are lazy and want mama to do it all, and some are extremely independent. Take it all in mama :two_hearts:

My nephew did this too even at 2yrs. He didn’t like anything squishy or gooey

Are you serious she’s just a baby still! I still hold my nearly 2yo bottle of milk, she just wants mummy hugs and milk! There’s nothing wrong with her.

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She’s 1! Just enjoy the time and feed her!

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She may not like the feel? My friends baby was the same, so she put food in the silicone feeders, and she’d pick that up and eat/chew on it, and she then put food in the feeder, as well as something on her tray, and she ended up picking it up and started feeding herself.

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my oldest was the same way, my youngest was lazy one day he wanted some of what i had, i gave it yo him on his tray and said if u want it u fees urself, he did

Mine would only feed herself from 9.5 months. It would have been easier if I could feed her. She’d only eat things she could feed herself, no yogurt, no applesauce, no baby food. And I think more was on her than in her. Your kiddo will get there eventually.

She’s 1 lady. What is your rush

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My second daughter didn’t start till she was a year and half she but now is almost two can feed herself.give it time not every child is the Same.

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My daughter did this too. She was getting lazy so I stopped picking the food up and told her to do it. She cried a little then started doing it

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It’s annoying people saying there only one. I can understand the moms half frustration she needs a break from doing everything . I found my sensory kids didn’t like to .

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If she still wants you to feed her, feed her. She’s only little for a short time. She’ll be 13 before you know it.

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Keep showing her how to feed herself! Eat right next to her , go slow with your spoon or fork to your mouth so she can watch and catch on! Feed her with a spoon! My daughter has fed herself since 7 months old (baby led weaning) off of bottles by 6 months and now drinking out of 360 cups at 1

Stop saying mean things to this mama, she is looking for advice. Not criticizing. To reassure that what is happening with her kiddo is normal and she is doing nothing wrong. Support don’t criticize💕

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Have you tried the handles for the bottle? Then lay her down and put a rolled up towel (or even a boppy) under her arms, laying across her chest, and put her hands on the handles w her elbows propped up on the towel/boppy. If she won’t hold the handles, lay the bottle on the towel/boppy and let her drink. If the bottle rolls she can get it or she can cry. Let her cry for a min or 2 before helping. Then re-adjust and try again. Let her cry again, a little longer this time. She needs to try to help herself, but she also needs to know she’s not alone, so you can stay close and coach her… or make her wait to eat until you’re available. Leave her with her food in her highchair and let her be hungry until she tries to feed herself. You can help her eat when it’s convenient for you. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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My son refused to hold his own bottle until he was around 11 months old. Slowly he started to wanna feed himself after that, they go at their own pace mama. Just relax. She’ll get there

My 4 year old would rather I just feed him dinner some nights (it’s so hard being 4 and he’s tired by the end of the day). My 1 year old has NEVER let me feed him. If he can’t do it himself, it’s not going in his mouth.

Kids do things their own way, at their own pace :woman_shrugging:t3::+1:t2:

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She’s fine, they develop at their own pace. It’s not like she’s 6 years old. Your expectations are weirdly high for a baby.

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Give the baby time , she will pick it up, shes only 1…

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When she’s hungry, she’ll eat!

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Do hand over hand, she will eventually get it

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Stop. Feeding. Her. Put her bottle and finger foods in front of her. And leave it there. Don’t pick anything up and place it in her mouth.
She’ll feed herself before she starves.
Easy peasy.

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Make up a song and make it into a game… Make it something fun…and crazy… Also put it in front of her and tell her mommas busy washing dishes…and then kinda let her think you ain’t watching… Bur don’t fret over it… The more you stress the less likely she is to do it…and never compare your child to another… Kids… all do things at differant times… When she wants to she will

I used to put the spoon in their mouth and then let go of it so they could take it out of their mouth themselves. Sure, it fell out on its own at first, but they eventually got the hang of it. Just make it fun.

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Seriously? Stop hand feeding her. Let her do it herself. She isn’t doing it cause she knows you’ll just do it for her. I’ve never fed my daughter solids. Since day one she’s be eating her food by herself. We never did purees. Give her her bottle and walk away. My daughter never had a bottle in her life only boob and when I stopped breastfeeding at 1 I gave her the bottle and walked away for nap time.

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Are you talking utensils or she won’t pick up bits of food?

Still a little early to expect that kind of focus and dedication. Some babies will show interests but I would give it a few more months

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She just enjoys you doing those things , one day you will miss her wanting your help.

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It could be a development issues!! But it’s too early to tell. Because she is still really young. She could be just a high functioning disability… So try not to worry and put it in god’s hands & pray ok. You’ll be ok no matter what the issue is. So will she.

Don’t rush it Mama! One day you’ll look back and miss her wanting help. I blinked and my 3 were all in school and independent. :heart:

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