I agree that he shouldn’t have to meet him. Just keep a line of communication open so that he can contact him in the future. Send pictures maybe.
It’s your sons decision go with how he feels
Your son is old enough to make up his own mind. Respect his wishes. I never wanted to meet my real dad either.
Let your son decide when or if he ever wants to meet him. His emotional well being is what’s important and if you force him and it turns out bad he may have hard feelings against you for it.
Duh…Stupid Question
Really shouldn’t be a question to ask… he knew you were pregnant and never bothered so why 10 years later just bc you had to reach out to him… obviously your son has a great dad in his life who has stepped in and I’m sure not once treated him otherwise… if your son doesn’t want to meet him then don’t force it… just keep the window open and as long as your husband and you agree later in in life if your son changes his mind then he can… regardless he will always be his bio dad… just now he has one that really matters to him
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Get an email, phone and address for your ex.
Give them to your son. Then it’s totally up to him
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He’s very young to make that decision to cut his father out now. I would give the bio-dad the choice and opportunity to reach out and leave that on him. The son will likely make that decision when they are an adult. The quick no at this age isn’t a final decision…
I didn’t want to meet my own bio dad until I was 28.
Your son is rejecting the father that first rejected him by his lifestyle. He had a great dad that stepped up in his life so he doesn’t feel the need to know the sperm donor.
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He is a child and should not be allowed to make that decision. Stop letting kids take the driver seat!
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Don’t force your son. When he is older if he wants to, he can locate the biological father. If he is happy and well adjusted leave things be.
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Why you ask your son if you are not going to do what he wants! Just saying
I wouldn’t force it. It’s kind of a mute point in meeting if the bio father isn’t going to try to develop a relationship with him.
As someone whose biological dad was never in the picture and was offered the chance to meet him, don’t force your son to meet him. I told my mother NO at 11 years old and at 30 I still do not regret it for one day. A sperm donor does not make a father nor someone you ever need to meet. His DAD is your husband, that other man is nothing to him.
You really should respect your sons feelings his bio father has not been there so really he doesnt.know him at all the man in your.life has been theres a saying.u.can be called a father but.it takes an.extra special.person to be called.DAD to take into.respect the.man.your with now is his DAD good luck.
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If you broke up when you were pregnant then I assume he didn’t sign birth certificate, so I’m wondering why you need his permission
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Listen to your child. He is 10 years old. He knows what he wants
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If the dude is really changed he would be open to the possibility of having to wait till the boy is ready! Eventually that time will come.
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Don’t force him it Should be his choice at that age!
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Why is this even a question… If the dad was really on drugs and living a life of crime why expose your child to this. Would you really be comfortable with your son going to stay with or visit with the dad alone? Which is next to come after you invite him into your child’s life. Some doors are better left closed. Move on…
Don’t put your son at risk to be in a dangerous position. He already has a father he doesn’t need one that can put him in harms way.
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Your son would know, at the same time, it would be one meeting. It wouldn’t be a constant thing. As long as he is comfortable whatever the decision.
Speaking from experience don’t force it.
If that’s how he feels then don’t force him.If he doesn’t want anything to do with his father,that is his choice .His father choose not to be apart of his sons life for that long & to me that is not a father & if he wanted his son in his life then he should of made some better choices.
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Listen to your son. Let him decide. I was in the same exact position as your son & I’m so glad my mother didn’t force me to do something i didn’t want to do. I would have been very angry.
You let him know your son doesn’t want to see him…period! It’s been 10yrs. Don’t force that man on your baby
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I was in a similar situation…except he didn’t want to be around. When she was around your sons age we had a talk…I asked her if she would ever want to meet him or have a relationship…she said no. I think your son is old enough to decide what he wants now…he has the option to change his mind later. You could always keep the Bio-dad informed of your son’s life…although he has changed his life around…your son has had a great life. There’s absolutely no reason to force him…let him decide. Just my opinion. It’s great that he didn’t put an argument to the adoption.
Sorry, I’m with your son on this one. Your son isn’t ready. Let him decide when the time is right. 
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Son have a life time to meet and greet everybody, don’t pressure him. He’s old enough to express his wants and needs, hang in there, amen…
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Smart child you have there. He is clearly happy, loved and content with the life you and your husband have created for him. 10yrs old is old enough to know what you want. Respect his decision. His bio dad needs to accept that you cannot erase the past and he needs to jog on…
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One meeting wont do any harm. Just so he know how his father looks and doesn’t have to wonder what if, later in his life. I dont know what things has been told to your son about his father but he should know who it is. Death is inevitable so let him meet his father, just this one time and let him decide if he wants to see him again. People do change.
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I made mine wait until he was 18! If he doesn’t want to… don’t make him. Leave it be!
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Respect your child’s wishes and since your husband wants to adopt let him continue with Adoption and make social worker aware of all information regarding son and dad.
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Don’t force your son. At 10 he knows what he wants. Its not right that his bio father will sign the papers if he gets to meet your son. I would definitely keep your attorney updated on this. Your ex has had zero contact in 10 years and now wants wants to meet your son before signing papers. No way. Praying for your family
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Why would you force your kid to meet someone who didn’t care enough to be a decent human from the start??? If your son wants a relationship with bio sperm donor he will let you know when he’s ready. Sounds like he’s happy with the dad he has! Don’t mess with it!!!
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Take from a man that has been in this exact situation let your son decide what he wants it’s better not to push him
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If your son does not want to meet him, DO NOT FORCE HIM. If and when your son wants to meet him, then he can make that call… that “man” is nothing more than a stranger to that boy, don’t think of him as anything more…
This shouldn’t even be a question.
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Are you thinking " if you say no he wont sign the papers" because one meet to sign the adoption papers might be what needs to happen, i mean i dont know but id imagine thats why your asking this question, your son soumds clever and also sounds mature enough to understand one meeting might be the best chance at haveing the adoption signed, good luck whatever you decide x
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It’s his decision. He may change his mind in the future. Just leave the door open in my opinion.
Respect your son he’s smarter then you
He was not around at the beginning why should he be now bio father is bad influence
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I wouldnt force my children to meet someone if they said no. My kids bio father has been in and out of their lives since they were 2 and 3 yrs old. They are now 12 and 13 yrs. And their bio dad still doesnt come around and we only live 2 hrs 30 min awsy yet im always in his town visiting kids gram whom is their dads mom and he lives a 5 min walk from her house. Dont force it… Let kids decide for themselves. When your son is older he may change his mind and want to know who he is but if hes not ready just let it be. Itll be easier on everyone.
If that’s how he feels, that’s what you should respect coming from the same situation myself except I was not given a choice. I say give him all ways of contact and where he’s located and he can go to him when he wants in his own time or ask you to aid in this. But to walk in to someone’s life now when your son has had a father figure step up to the plate and want the job is really not a good idea… especially if he ends up disappointing him. Trust issues will just get deeper, and he could feel resentment towards you for orchestrating this
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Your son has decided respect his wishes.
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Get the papers signed and then tell him that he doesn’t want to meet him. Let it be then.
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Respect your son. Leave it up too him that is his choice. When he is ready to meet the Bio-father that will be his choice. Time will heal his spirit .
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It’s your son decision, he don’t know this man this is a stranger to him
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I get what u went through, in part, with ur son’s bio father because of what u mentioned. But the part I don’t quite understand is how can ur son not trust his bio father if he’s never met him? And just a question…has he heard u, ur husband, or anybody else talk negatively about his bio father? If so, that could have something to do with his thoughts and feelings towards him. I get that he will most likely harbor some negative feelings towards his bio father, but just make sure that he is not hearing negative talk about him so that, one day, if and when the time comes that they do meet, he can form his own opinions about him. I think ur son’s father realizes signing his rights away so that ur husband can adopt him is a good option…otherwise he wouldn’t agree to it. Just make sure that if he wants to see him, and ur son is willing, u should try and make that happen. I don’t think u should force ur son to see his bio father. But I do think perhaps u could somehow encourage at least a meeting with the 3 of u…u, ur son, and his bio father…only. Would ur son’s bio father like to meet ur husband…the man who has been raising his child since ur son was a baby, and the man who will be adopting him? Does ur son know what’s about to happen as far as the adoption goes and want this too? As bad as any negative feelings go from u towards ur son’s bio father, and probably rightfully so, I would strongly suggest trying to encourage ur son to at least meet his bio father. As long as his father is not a threat, as long as it’s in a public place, and ur son is not alone. Those are my suggestions to u. If ur son does not want to meet his bio father right now after speaking with him, he may change his mind one day. U never know. I wish u and ur family well. Good luck. God bless.
Agree, follow your son’s request, he will seek his bio Dad if and when he’s ready. If bio Dad is really in recovery he will sign the papers and then everyone can move on
your son answered your question for you. he knows who his daddy is. give him ways to contact the bio father. he will do it in his own time if he chooses to.
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Sounds familiar. Don’t do it. Tell hi you will sock him with all the back support. He’ll sign. Your son has a good father now.
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Every father deserves a chance unless there unfit and a danger. I’d ask your son if he wants to meet him with u there. Ur a fab mum for considering his feelings but what if his dad has changed but then there’s the chance he hasn’t xxxxx
You are over thinking this. You son doesn’t know the biological father and doesn’t want to meet him. Respect your son’s wishes and let this go.
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Your son made the decision leave it at that dont make him meet him maybe when hes older he might change his mind
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Let him go already ya son got a daddy who’s been there for him. So screw bio keep it moving
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I have to agree, your child said no. Do not expose him to a situation where he does not feel safe, it can get ugly real fast
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Listen to your damn son why ask if you arent going to listen
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Of course respect your son but km sure dad wont sign over without the meet. I would encourage him to meet him. He doesn’t have to call him dad or act like it but just meeting him as a friend. Of course let him know you’ll be there to support him. It doesn’t need to be ugly or fighting. If it can be a friendly meet. Maybe his other dad can go as well to help with the comfort as well as showing bio dad that he is loved and better off signing over rights to him. I would always encourage a relationship with his bio dad as long as its safe
Let him go with his gut he’s old enough to make a choice. If you force him he might resent you
Let ur son decide. If he isnt ready to so then dont enforce it. When ur son is older and understands more then he will tell his bio dad how he feels. My daughter is 10 right now and she doesn’t want to see or hear from her dad. She has no desire to listen to his sob stories and excuses he had over the years. He isnt able to keep a promise or keep his words what he tells her so what she learns is believe it when you see it. And he has done nothing to show her he wants to be there for her but message when its convenient for him. She knows im here n has her back when she needs it. She has her own mind n speak for herself. Let him guide the way he see fit. You just need to have ur son back.
When he’s ready,in due time,he will make the right decision for himself!!
Listen to your son!!!
I say respect ur son’s wishes!! He doesn’t care to know the bio Dad!! End it there
Don’t make him. If/When HES ready he will reach out
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Respect your child’s wishes.
Don’t force a relationship with a stranger, that’s not good for the child.
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It’s your sons decision if he wants to know his biological father. I went through the same thing with my son. Now that he’s 25 he has decided to try & have s relationship with his dad.
Always trust a childs gut! He said No!!!
Let the young man be
Trust your child’s wishes and respect his decision. Your son obviously sees your husband as his dad and your son doesn’t feel the need to open up and to meet to the biological sperm donor that walked out on you both.
If your ex wants to be part of your sons life 10 years later, then he needs to man up and pay the child support owning to you, and face up to the fact that although Sperm Donor wants a second chance, Your son does not want to meet him.
I would consult a family solicitor to find out your options, as firstly as your ex to present his Urine Drug Screen results and supervised visits if you wish to allow your son access to the sperm donor.
When I fought for custody, we asked the Judge for a Section 11 assessment, where a legal psychologists interviews the child and takes into account their feelings, wants and needs and conveys that to the judge. At 10 years old their wants are actively considered.
Good luck
It’s his choice. If he doesn’t want to dont force it. He’ll come around on his own better than you pressuring him if hes going to at all. You asked and he gave you an answer. Let it go.
You asked your son , he said no. What part of no did you not understand from him ?
Why would you even ask for advise… You cant make your kid meet his father if he isn’t ready… You chose the dad… The dad chose not to be there … Now it’s your kids choice to meet him or not.
You son will decide when he wants to see him, don’t force him please, not that you were but just an fyi
Don’t force him to see him. He’s probably a little mad at him and he’s probably worried about his step dad’s feelings.
Since he has been in and out of jail, guessing because of drugs he probably has friends with the same problems, don’t let your child be exposed to that kind of life.
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Sounds like a smart boy, he’ll come around when he’s ready… on his own accord.
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My granddaughter went through the same … she has had her dad back in her life 10 years now she is 18 they are inseparable I’m glad my daughter persuaded her at 8 years old.
That should be your sons choice really, you shouldn’t force him.
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Nope. I don’t believe in forcing relationships. If the adoption is the only thing that got him interested in seeing his son it’s a possession thing not a true desire. I just went through this myself.
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Don’t force your son to meet him until he’s ready to. If his biological father has really changed he will understand this.
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No! Never force things in life because it usually always ends up traumatic! For all!
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Its his decision. Let him decide. I would never force my sons to see their father if they didn’t want to
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Don’t force he is old enough to understand he is old enough to make his own mind to what is right for him .
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He doesn’t know the man who’s never made an effort to meet him. I would respect his wishes. He may change his mind down the road but that his decision, on his own time.
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Respect his choice. The child has told you, he has no interest. You already HAVE a father-figure in the picture. Don’t make things messier. Trust me on this one. I have friends who have gone through it, and they regret introducing the bio-dad. 
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Have him meet him and then let him (your son) make a final decision (of course he can always change his mind later) be supportive no matter what. Good luck!
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Just ask him to meet him once and then see how it goes…people do change.
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I went through the same thing when we adopted our grandson,he didn’t want to see him until the day we left to go get them sign , he went and looked at him and said. Sign them please and walked away… that was the first and last time , prayers for you and your son.
Never force it you where honest with him a d he said no he doesn’t want to meet him dont push him respect his wish
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Maybe seek a guidance counselor or therapist briefly
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Was in the same situation before but my son was 12 at the time. He said no, and I followed his wishes and told his bio father that. Took awhile but he eventually signed the paperwork.
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He’s a smart boy ! Let him choose !!!
We teach our children not to be around people they are not comfortable with.
I would tell the bio that he said no. If he has changed, he will except this for what it is, his own fault.
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Why would you make your son do something he doesn’t want to! His biological dad is a complete stranger to him! In situations like this it’s just better to leave things as they are! I’m in the same boat with my daughters and I wouldn’t force them to go see him because they don’t want to and are afraid of him!!
Agree Respect his choice X
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Don’t force your son to meet his bio father.
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This is just so sad.
Tell him that people can change if they want to. His bio father does not have to be a part of your son’s life but it would be nice if they met.
If the kid doesn’t want to do not force it.
Let Your Son Decide when he wants to meet Him.
In a court situation the judge would listen to the child and rule in their favor and what’s best for the child… so therefore I would not force him to do meet this guy