My 10-year-old doesn't want to meet his bio father: What should I do?

I wouldn’t force him.

He knows who his Daddy is in his heart. Any man can be a sperm donor but it takes someone special to be a daddy. Personally I wouldn’t force a visit.

You asked your son and he gave you his answer. Wait till your son is ready. Or wait awhile and ask him again to just keep the option open. But it’s for your son to decide not anyone else especially when he gave you your answer.

My personal opinion don’t force him to do it. He will end up having so much hate towards you for making him do it. When the time comes he will let you know when he is ready to meet his biological father

Nope. It’s been 10 years. He has abandoned him. And the judge will see it that way. Why would you even consider putting your son threw that! Proceed without his willingness. And let the court handle it. Having him walk into his life now could be detrimental to his health! Consult your lawyer on what step to take next.

I regret meeting my bio dad. I had an amazing dad growning up that signed my birth certificate when I was born and I carry his last name but I found out about my bio dad when I was 12. I’ve regretted getting him ever since. I wouldn’t make him meet him. Dont force it.

Let your child make the decision, he needs to know not to second guess his gut feelings. He can always change his mind in the future and that should also be his decision.

Don’t do it, just let him sign the paperwork and be done. Don’t open a door that later you won’t be able to shut!

Your son is very smart for his age. DO NOT force him. It has to be his choice.

Seek legal advice and do what is best for your son.

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Just calmly explain to his bio dad that your son does not wish to see him. Maybe in time he might change his mind. Maybe not. But right now I think it’s best not to try and push the kid into anything.

Respect your sons choice. May change in time.

I wouldn’t push him to do anything he doesn’t feel right about as he gets older if he changes his mind then just be there for him right now he’s just not ready and if the bio father has any love for his son he would respect his wishes also and wait til he’s ready if he ever is ready

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I would respect his wishes, but leave the door open. He may choose to meet him later. Mom can keep in touch with bio dad should the need to arrange a meeting arise.

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Let your son take the lead on this one, respect his voice.

He is still very young to have deep understanding of this kind of matter, i would advice u to introduce him to his father physically and let them have alone time. Watch them from a distance in a public place. Let him talk to his father and make up his mind from there. They may what to start a new relationship with each other!

I am 49 and just found by bio father. I’ve been pondering for 3 months whether to “confront” him. Even at my age, I’m just not sure that his potential further rejection of me is something I can tolerate. Wait until your son is able or willing to navigate his emotions and needs. A rejection at his age could be devastating and have life long consequences for him.

Your son has a father and a donor… he obviously loves his father and doesn’t want to meet the donor. So if the donor meets him and signs the papers. He get a free pass… he signs away all the legal responsibility but he gets the perks of meeting him and possibly Pursuing a relationship with him without the hard work and the responsibilities… how fair is this to his father, your son and you actually??

just explain he doesn’t want to maybe when he’s older and the biological dad still feels the same way then rethink things

Absolutely not! Blood does not make someone family! One day he will be ready to face him and tell him how he feels. Should be the sons call.

I think your kid is right…give him space and respect his will…he will mature and maybe will be able to forgive his dad…good luck…

Let him decide n if he ever changes his mind then let them meet I forced my daughter to meet her dad when she was 6 n she met him again at 11 now he is locked back up let ur son decide children are smarter than we give them credit for my daughter stayed mad at me awhile after 2nd meeting but I wanted her to know her bio dad but she has a dad who loves her they are inseparable they may not be blood but u can’t tell them that her bio dad won’t sign papers n state of Alabama won’t take his rights I think it’s just the county we live in bc the one she calls dad wants to adopt her n she wants him too she is 12 now she never mentions her real dad anymore

I’m sorry but how is this even a question? You’re son said no. Respect his decision and don’t make him do something he has made clear he doesn’t want to do. How would you feel if you were forced to see someone you specifically said you didn’t want to see? If your mom threw away your right to choose, ignoring the answer you gave after being asked, and made you do it anyway? His bio dad threw him away, had never cared about him and your son knows it. Don’t make your child do something they don’t want to do.

I’m going through this right now with my 13yr old daughter. Her father is in jail and she hasn’t seen him in 10 years. I’ve told her it’s about her and her feelings she is free to do what she wants. Don’t force him, he may want to meet him in the future I know for my daughter it is a very stressful situation

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Don’t force your son. It appears your husband is a true man and has been there for you and your son. Let the past remain in the past

Told mine she should at least know him. I also told her she did not have to call him dad. She did it and he never bothered again for 10 yr. Then he showed up for her wedding. She told him he would not be part of wedding but he was there. 2 yr later she had 1st baby and he showed up a couple times. All of these were because of his 2nd wife. 1st kid is 23 and does not know him at all. But my daughter does know is now ex wife and their boys. They don’t see each other much but it is all good. By the way, when we went to the adoption process, he said a lot of things but he just didn’t show up at court.

Respect your son’s decision. The bio dad wanted Nothing to do with him, well now karma bit him back. No No No, don’t force it.

Maybe his dad shoulda been there. Dnt push him to meet him. If he wants to, let him (unless the sperm donor is a bad influence- then hell no u can’t meet). Put rules in place for just in case. Tell him he better be sober the day he visits or that’ll be the end of that.

I think you should honour your son’s decision. He is 10, and probably has some fears, and if you force him to see his bio father, and part of that would surely be what he has heard about him. Unless those were false statements, then his fear is valid. It won’t bode well for you…why not respect his decision but tell him that if he changes his mind in the future, you will respect that also. Does he like and want his stepdad to be his legal father? If so, I would leave this alone. The bio dad is saying he is such and such. Do you have any proof of that? There is a lot at stake, and the bio dad, if he pushes this is putting himself first (narcissism) not the son’s wishes. My opinion…I did raise 3 boys.

All in all hes still a child!.

Have him meet his dad and let him decide after that. It doesnt hurt to try.
If his bio dad is willing to meet and TRY to be apart of his life then why not? Just as long as youre not forcing it and have supervised visits.

It wouldn’t even be a question.

Why even consider that?

In and out of jail on drugs left you pregnant.
Your husband raised him that’s all your son knows

Leave it be.

Well it seems like the boy has made up his mind on the subject.id get a lawyer and go from there

I had a similar situation with my son who was 11 at the time. He had no desire to meet his sperm donor. He is 32 now and says he has no regrets.

He should not be made to see him especially if he has not been involved in his life.

If hes already said no then leave it at that. Hes 10 he doesnt need any pressure x

You cant force him to want to connect with him. So dont try to push him towards him. Maybe later on in life he may want to connect with his bio dad.

Let the boy decide, the father he know is your husband can you blame him

His bio father just wants to see him. That does not mean he wants a relationship with him. If it means he can be adopted by your husband explain it to him and then let him decide.

See a family law attorney. Maybe you can ask him for back child support. Lol, yeah right

You let your son decide.

If he doesn’t want to you can’t force him I wish I never met mine.

The child has said no.

If he don’t want to meet him don’t make him.

Listen to your child

Tell the dick weed to sign or you’ll go after 10 years of child support from him… don’t play his stupid game :+1:

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