My 10 year old has ADHD and is struggling with hitting puberty: Advice?

Hey mamas— I am really struggling with my 10-year-old daughter. She is starting puberty, is ADHD as well as has an anxiety disorder. She is on anxiety meds, and does therapy twice a week. She has really good days, followed by really really bad ones. She has a really hard time falling asleep at night. We don’t do any tv or electronics an hour before bed. My girls usually color, read, cuddle with us, or just play until bed. She doesn’t have sugar or anything close to the bed. We have tried giving her melatonin, and CBD which make her VERY irritable/anxious the day after. Does anyone have any other suggestions that may help with this? I feel so bad for her, and my anxiety gets bad as well when hers is bad, so I am not able to come up with anything else to help her.


Do you have her involved in any sports? My daughter has same issues and diagnosis and having her involved in sports and a good routine has helped tremendously and also some responsibility like simple chores every day like straightening her room or vacuuming. And I watch her diet because sugars make her act out.

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Does your daughter spend time outdoors? My stepson would sleep better after even just taking a walk in the park.

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Order sage and crystals

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Could do a sage cleanse of the house to get rid of negative energy or what helps with me and my anxiety and insomnia is going for a walk when its sunny and nice out. You can do that one on one with her or the family. Car rides may also help too yall dont have to talk just put some happy music on and ride

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Try doing a 10 minutes relaxing yoga to get into the mindset of wind down. It will be hard at first but try to view it as it’s learning to walk/talk. I would end with a warm chamomile tea with no sugar added. Hopefully the routine to wind down will help relax her enough to fall asleep. Also aromatherapy with some lavender will help set the mood. It will be great bonding time for both of you!

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Was told not to take sugar away for it has reverse effects for children with ADHD it actually helps relax them ,I wouldn’t have ever believed it till our pediatrician said try it and actually it worked , I was amazed for even Benadryl would call for a long night of him jumping around but now he eats cake ,cookies ,or candy bar 1 hour to 30 minutes before bed and 6 months of doing this it’s still working.

Meditation before bed. Essential oil diffuser. Maybe a tea ritual. Relax her mind. Maybe her body will follow suit

What time of day is she taking her ADHD medicine?

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Meditation and exercise

My 7 year old has severe adhd, mild odd, and high functioning autism.
I have adhd, c-PTSD, and generalized anxiety…which causes chronic insomnia.
My kiddo is on vyvanse during the day. Intuniv during the afternoon (about 3ish). And then clonidine on his bad nights.
I take clonidine when I’m struggling with panic/anxiety or having trouble sleeping.
The really good part about it is that it doesnt have to be an every day medication. It can just be when you need it

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Exercise/movement helps a lot. Online dance or yoga classes? Vigorous walks? Martial arts? Anything she might enjoy. Bonus: do it with her & be in shape! Helps me focus, reduces stress, helps with sleep.

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My son is the same way Advil p.m. is the only thing that works right know if he dose not have it every other day he will be up he has gone a week with out sleeping cause his brain dose not turn off or slow down my son is 11 an is called 6 kids in 1 brain it’s vary had to handle sometimes

My little sister is 11 and has severe ADHD along with a lot of other things I don’t even know the name of. I know she takes clonidine at night and it seems to work well for her.

I could not use cbd oil it made my anxiety so much worse than it was.

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Possibly ask her doctor about a lower dose. Valerian root like melatonin is also a natural herbal choice for anxiety and insomnia. Keep active early in the day and in the evening try stimulating hands on activities coloring, reading books, crafts, board games, etc…

I get major anxiety before bed. Like, I used to get panic attacks as I laid there. What helped me was sound. Tv specifically. Listening to someone talk made my anxiety less. As did drinking chamomile vanilla tea

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Lavender oil and shea butter after a hot bath

Excercise! Bike ride, running, or just walking. Talk to her dr and make sure it isn’t reaction to meds.

You have a 10 year old on anxiety medication ? That’s so unnecessary.


We have the same issues, but I don’t give her any medication. Instead of it she does karate and acting classes, plus she is running every day.

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My 7 year old has severe ADHD. And odd. Sometimes she’s really fun and sweet and other days I feel like I’m just screaming or crying all day long. She gets melatonin at night but it doesn’t always do anything and she doesn’t get it every night. I’m going to see the pediatrician again next month to see what more we can do she’s already on meds which do help. I have different things in place I do to try to help her but some days are just bad no matter what


Get a sound machine ( basically the sound of air or a fan ) . This helped my kids sleep . We all use one now ! Also , lots of praying ! I don’t know how I made it as a single mom with a teenager with ADD , but I did . Lots of tears were shed and anger issues . My son has turned out to be an am amazing adult . He also has extreme anxiety . I really feel for you . Hang In there and never , ever give up ! Also , never let the child know they have a hold on you ! Stay strong !


Cbd causes extreme anxiety in some ppl. I suggest u not use it on her.

Try st more natural like lavender bath and lavender essential oil.

A physical activity to tire them out like playing outdoors before supper followed by a bath a good calming massage and story time with cuddles are part of a good night routine.

Camomile tea is also v calming you can look into that

Talk to your Dr if this persists.


I would honestly talk to a doctor and honestly melatonin is not your answer by all means. You really need to research melatonin it can give your children nightmares it can throw off their sleeping pattern all kinds of stuff my hometown they would not sell it to me unless I had a note from the doctor stating how much my kid could have and everything like that. People got to do their Google and research on stuff see our bodies already have melatonin and now you’re giving your child even more melatonin and what their body is producing in reality you can Google foods that have melatonin in it such as grapes nuts things like that and give that to your children before they go to bed. people always want to argue with me and be mean and hateful when I let them know melatonin is not the answer I don’t let it bother me anymore. melatonin can be bad for your child you’re better off giving them nyquill or nothing at all.if you Google it tells you how much your children are really supposed to have and not have it also gives you the symptoms like my child having nightmares not being able to sleep all kinds of stuff

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White noise is what me and my daughter use to help us fall asleep when anxiety is in the way

My granddaughter has to take clonodine at night . She’s add and ADHD. She’s sees a counselor and Dr. Her Dr put her on it so they will rest at night. Because she’s going all day long

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Natural Supplements that could help… (maybe check with doctor or a naturopath)

*Calm specific kids by natural vitality

*Cerevive by ortho molecular

*Dopatone by apex energetics


Also I agree that noise may help, it sometimes helps the mind focus on something else other then “being in your head”. Maybe nature sounds, music, etc? Also, I have found that guided meditation helps with falling asleep. There’s are some good audios on youtube. Practicing Meditation or yoga throughout the day may help as well.
I wish you the best! I know it’s tough it sounds like you are doing everything you can for your littles and reaching out is a sign of strength! I apologize for any judgment you receive for doing so.

F Niicole Lynn Soloduik Corrine Pambrun

Honestly I’ve been exactly the same since about the same age. And nothing really helps, I’m thinking about trying yoga and meditation.

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Have you tried the weighted blankets😊


Make sure shes getting her vitamins. Lack of vitamins is usually the cause for ADHD
B-12 help reduce anxiety
Magnesium helps reduce muscle spasms
Make a to do list for tmw
Lemongrass eculpytus bedtime spray …spray on pillows helps
Get her a kitten…seriously really helps
Lavender chamomile tea

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Hi i have tried (child essence) its a natural flower essences few drops in their water it has really help my son in times when he is most anxious. He doesnt know he is getting them as they have no taste but iv seen a big improvement, also exercise and being able to communicate the anixety at anytime day or night hope she feels better soon.

White noise works great for my son

No parent is bad if kid needs medication then that doesn’t make parent bad talking this way you have no right

I hear weighted blankets can help to relieve anxiety when needing to sleep. They can be made with different strength weights for comfort and children sized. They give a sense of security which gives the ability to relax and switch off to go to sleep.

My 14 year old is autistic and suffered with really bad anxiety due to a DVR, I read up heaps on natural ways to sooth children and found out that cats are great for anxiety]i was a dog person until now] so got him a rescue kitten, also put a “twiddle bag” by his bed with things like fidget toys and things he likes to play with while he soothes him self to sleep, also weighted blankets are great! I also found guided meditation apps great for both of us, he’d go to sleep while listening. Also room lighting and scents are a great help! 4 years on and he’s doing amazing! Hope any of this is helpful :black_heart:

All you moms struggling you are amazing! My 11 year old does not have any of these issues (thankfully) I could not imagine having to deal with her major attitude along with any mental health problems. Keep up the great work!

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I second the weighted blanket. My 11 yo loves hers and it helps her a lot. Lavender also helps her.

I got my son a weighted blanket it has helped him so much. I would suggest may get her one 6 or 10lbs anything more than that might be too much for her

Try music soft music

Camomile tea at bedtime

I take unisom. It’s over the counter and inexpensive at walmart

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Believe it or not but Benadryl help with anxiety and sleep. A nurse told me about it and it has help me tremendously. I can’t tell you the days i was having an anxiety attack and stop and bought Benadryl and took it and it went away.


Have you tried giving her “Calm” about an hour before bedtime? It is just magnesium, which calms the nerves and relaxes her. It makes me sleep like a baby and is not a drug or anything like that. In fact, it is very beneficial for you. Many people are magnesium deficient because our food isn’t as nutritious as it once was.


Clonidine, aside from what it’s used for typically its worked wonderfully to help my little man get to sleep quickly. It has to be prescribed. Solid sleep patterns help immensely with good and bad days , reducing the bad days, ( we all have those so just understand you can’t expect perfection and its normal )


I would restrict her diet to no food colorings, additives or preservatives. Caffeine typically has the opposite effect on kids with ADHd so that might help.


My daughter was on trazadone for sleep, it really helped, she has epilepsy add and anxiety as she got older which now she is 17 things are much better. So just know things will get better and good luck.

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Melatonin. Its natural try it first they have it for kids. If shes medicated then you will want to speak to her doctor first. .if the melatonin doesn’t work…my teenage son is severe ADHD anxiety etc I had the same problem…I promise it gets better hun…

My 15 year old son has depression and severe social anxiety. Puberty was a time full of questions and anxiety as he came out to me at 10. He likes chamomile with mint tea, and a 5-htp supplement. It helps him tremendously.
I answered his questions and loved him through it. I think that’s all we can really do. :heart: good luck momma :pray::innocent::heart:


Hydroxozine. It works so well for me. Melatonin and other sleep aids have never worked. I also have terrible anxiety and was first diagnosed in 6th grade. It doesnt leave me feeling groggy the next day or anything. I just started on it a couple months ago and I’m so thankful. Its given to relax people before or after they are having surgery. I just take a lot smaller of a dose.

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I have a 10 year old son with severe anxiety and I found that melatonin isn’t a quick method to try. We started at a low dose and gave a week or two before increasing as needed for him. He takes 7.5mg every night as 10mg was too much and 5mg wasn’t enough. Everyone is different so made adjustments according to his needs.

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I was diagnosed with anxiety at 9 years old. Did the medication route and it didn’t help. I’m 28 now and sleep is still elusive. But recently I found ASMR videos on YouTube and they’ve been relaxing me enough to fall asleep. She’d have to find her particular interest, but I’d highly suggest it.


As an adult that has had it since… well…ever.:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: The only thing I have found that calms me at night besides my routine. Is an Epsom salt bath. It makes me SO sleepy! Esp the lavender one. It shuts my over active brain down and just lets me consciously choose my thoughts instead of all at once.


Some of the ADHD meds can make it difficult to fall asleep at night. It’s something worth discussing with her doctor. Try having her journal before bed to get her anxious thoughts on paper and out of her head. Practice positive affirmations with her.

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My oldest had this problem, my psychiatrist recommended klonopin, it treats anixety but she said to use it for sleep and it will have benefits the next day for the anixety. My pediatrician blew me off recommended he see a counselor. But my psychiatrist’s hands were tied without a referral from the pediatrician… it was a nightmare. We just ended up using melatonin but it didn’t really work.

I have anxiety and got two hours last night. I personally would be talking to a sleep doctor or psychiatrist. Do not let them give her clonazepam very addictive. You have to realize her mind is going or filtering info very fast do to adhd. I lay awake and my mind goes to twenty different things I’m sure hers isn’t resting.

I had to stop taking any medication when I was 17 because it attacked my heart and I had to have heart surgery. Now I just have 1 or 2 caffeinated drinks a day, and find any excuse to be outside. Low sugar and healthy fats.

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I used to take care of a young girl who had down syndrome and ADHD when she was on her days I knew because she would very irritable so what I would do is give her space with her favorite things and when she needed to use the restroom I would stand outside the door and let her know what she was seeing was completely okay and for her to keep calm it worked most of the time other times she just didnt want anything to do with me

Talk to your pediatrician about possibly including magnesium with melatonin at night. That helps with my 10 yr old ADHD son. Also, chamomile or peppermint tea… Setting a routine that builds the habit of “these are the things we do before bed to wind down” is helpful for us and includes getting ready for bed, yoga and/or zen (cosmic kids), tea, and reading a book either together or individually.

Coffee!! I used it with my son!!! I was skeptical but it worked for him!! And Native Remedies has a natural balancer it’s called bright spark and focus formula and the school actually bought some from me because my child was a different child on it!!!


If its add then try coffee to help calm her. My son has ADHD and a frappuccino is like nyquil. Knocks him out.

Talk to the doctor about adjusting her meds. Maybe take it earlier in the day, timed release or breaking up the doses. When my son got older we switched to the times released meds. He had a hard time falling asleep and would have terrible mood swings otherwise. This has been a long time ago as he is grown now. Good luck

My son also has ADHD and would literally come to me in tears some nights because he said he was tired, but his body wont let him sleep because it wants to move all of the time (Poor Babies). One thing that worked well was letting him swim every chance we got a little before bed time. Also, compression blankets are nice. I bought one for myself because of anxiety and my son likes it too.

You are doing everything right, and the comments people are giving you sound like good ideas too. I will suggest an idea. A soothing sound machine. It might turn her mind off and focus on ocean waves, animal noises etc. If her door is shut, maybe a nightlight would work. I like the tea idea or warm milk. For puberty, I am suggesting some good books about her changing body and a my first period kit.

Becareful with anxiety meds such as Klonopins. That med can cause depression, irritability, and sever mood swings. The less meds the better! Coping skills and TLC are better then a regime of pills any day.

I know a lot of people tell you not to use benadryl to sleep but I honestly use it for myself and for my son when he has really bad days… I also use the extra sleepy time tea with chamomile and valerian root, I drink a tea from Bigelow called living stress free, and I do stretches before bed. Ballet or other dance stretch helps me the most. Good luck!

Things like coffee or a soda actually have a calming effect on my child who is now 15 and has severe ADHD.


Sports, tons of sports. Theyre going to complain but just find sports they like and get then into a routine for it. My younger brother has severe ADHD & a combative disorder they only thing that help him sleep was bicycling everywhere he went since it made him tired

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Try to find a massage therapist/Reiki Master in your area. I’m in Mass and work with both children and adult ADHD/PTSD and trauma clients. In and ideal situation I would want to book in once a week for a month and then down from there depending on how quickly the client can adapt. Even if you start with 30 min appts and build from there. Also check into deprivation tanks, amazing tools for mindfulness. Best of luck :sparkling_heart:

Ashwaganda has done wonders for my anxiety. I take a supplement with it in it and it is wonderful.

Night time meditation. There are apps you can download which help with falling asleep with anxiety. Omvana is the one I used to use. I hope you both find peace.

Aromatherapy. Works wonders. Maybe have her try some meditation exercises. It work for my anxiety. I have been doing it for years.

I suggest more exercise! Meaningful movement that will increase and then slowly decrease heart rate…it creates so many great things chemically for your brain and body just a short brisk walk or some stretching before bed or during high anxiety times. Dancing is a great one too or Breath work and meditation during the times she is more calm. You may need to do it with her to motivate but there are tons of videos on youtube if you aren’t sure where to start. it’s very beneficial for anxiety, adhd and insomnia.

My son has ADHD as well (a small amount of coffee in the AM to help his meds start working I find helpful). We do a mid day walk with our kids, or some sort of mid day exercise to help take some energy out of them. We do the melatonin gummys. That really helps for bed too (I know you said you tried that, but maybe a different form or mg might help your daughter).
My son is also on the spectrum so he gets really into building legos it helps his “fits” as well as calms his mind. Maybe some sort of puzzle or building thing might her ease her mind And not be so anxious?

When my kids have trouble falling asleep, I diffuse lavender oil in their room and that helps them a lot. Good luck, sleep issues are so hard!

I give my 9 year old little girl 1 Benadryl when she can’t sleep. As always check with your dr. She has allergies as well, benadryl has the added bonus of being a sleep aid. She’s been taking it since she was 2.

My Own 12 year old daughter has these issues as well so I completely understand were you at coming from

This what I have starting doing At night sleepy time tea or Benadryl ,But make sure I giver her plenty of time to go to
Bed and sleep otherwise it is not out of her system and she is grumpy then

Also us a humidifier with lavender throughout her bedroom and house for calmness. I Hope this helps you.

Maybe her adhd meds are to high or not the right ones for her body to tolerate. My stepson was like this while he was on his meds. From the age of 8-11 he could stay up 3 days in a row with no sleep. They had him on clonidine an he still didn’t sleep with it. After we took him off his meds he normally sleeps very good. He’s 13 now, he seems to do better without them as he got older! He does struggle staying focused on his school work at times, but we’re virtually learning this year an I think that will help a lot!

Give her caffeine before bed. ADHD can make things have the opposite affect that they would normally eg melatonin making you more awake. I give my ADHD son either coffee or a soda an hour before bed and it helps him fall asleep.

I had very similar problems with my daughter at that age. She was/is bipolar. Have you had her screened? I was pretty sure for a while I was going to have to have her exorcised. But she got through it. That is the most important part.

ADHD plus anxiety makes it hard to calm yourself and to unwind. When laying in bed try rocking themselves to sleep in the bed. Or have them lay on stomach and bounce their one leg . The motion will eventually put her to sleep.

Have you tried letting her sit an a hot tub of water, with a plastic cup and run water all over her back & arms, it makes me real tired. You might try it just before she goes to bed !!:pray::pray::pray:

my son has the problem as your daughter and the doctor put him on anti depression meds that help with anxiety and sleep. he takes it at night and he actually get a good night sleep and ever since he been on the meds his mood has improved

This was me as a child! White noise helped me so much. The laundry room was beside my room and my mom would run the dryer and I have to have a fan running to sleep. The sounds soothes your mind and calms you from the inside

Have her do an art project for awhile before bed. Calms the mind and helps with anxiety. I’m currently doing a diamond art mermaid photo. Requires focus and steadying

I would request her pediatrician do an allergy test. Also limited processed foods. I suffer from extreme anxiety and major reacuring depression disorder. Diet and exercise are extremely important for me even on days where I struggle to get out of bed

My son has ADHD, anxiety, and adjustment disorder. Having a really good sleep hygene is huge. He takes ADHD meds during the day and clonodine and melatonin at night. He would still be up until midnight and then be up at 5 am every single day. He was severely underweight due to his ADHD and the fact that he no longer has a colon so we started him on a new allergy pill called cyproheptadine that not only stimulates hunger, but it makes him sleep. He now is asleep by nine and up between 7 and 9.

My 13 yo son has same problem for about 8 years he’s been on Focalin. It’s time released so by bedtime it wears off which is great but like me he can’t sleep, I also have tried melatonin at 5 mg. But with his anxiety it’s a matter of distraction and comfort. Ok I know everyone says no tv but this works for my son, it’s not so quiet and the light helps soothe. When it’s quiet and dark his mind just starts racing. I keep a low volume and he respects that. I am not saying tv but maybe something that helps like a fan or even a lava lamp, and I say lava lamp cus this also works I just go it make sure is all off before I go to bed. I have to sleep with a fan. I don’t know why we make kids, especially ones with anxiety and ADHD, sleep in silence. This is what works for my son and I, I just wanted to pass along my experience.

Having similar issues. And the current events going on DO NOT help with anxiety. Valerian root helps.

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My 7 year old has ADHD and could not sleep at night for anything. We tried up to 10mg of melatonin didn’t work, benadryl doesn’t phase him. He is not on any meds for ADHD but that Is by our choice. With him being Homeschooled since kindergarten we didn’t feel it was necessary plus we had a bad experience with meds for ADHD with my oldest son. But did take him to see is Doctor for the sleeping issue and she prescribed him a non addicting medication called clonidine 0.1 mg that I give him at 8:30 pm every night and by 9pm he is sound to sleep without fail. It’s been great and he is very easy to wake up in the morning at 7:30 am to do online school

I’ve had chronic horrible insomnia half my life, since I was 17. It is caused by anxiety. Females are more prone to anxiety which is the root cause of most insomnia. I’m not sure what a child that young can take for that as sleeping aids are very addictive and usually stop working once you build a tolerance. I know it’s awful. Maybe your pediatrician can refer you to a sleep dr for a sleep study.

Hm, I have a friend who bought CBD from me for her son, he has the same. She waited a long time for trying it out but now they take for a year and he is really better. I learned that CBD is not a one time medicine. If you get medication you have to take it every day, so it is with CBD. He gets one drop in the morning and one in the evening. He sleeps very well and his parents are really happy.
Hope you will find the right thing for your girl.

I have 4 daughters.With anxiety and depression.Two became yoga instructors.It helps immensely.Right now I would get an in-house jogger.Make games out of her jumping.trampline thats what I meant.

Coming from someone who has been medicated for anxiety since I was a child, it sounds like she’s on the wrong medication. I’d seriously consider a med change. Also, have you ruled out PANDAS?

My almost 10yr old has ADHD and anxiety and o.d.d. and is starting to go through the change and is getting little pimples and developing which she’s not to thrilled by and she has her moody days. The most you can do is just be there for em and help talk them through it. My poor kid she just cried over any slightest thing these days and complains her boobs hurt. But it’ll work itself out

My 11 year old daughter is on adhd meds as well as anxiety meds. I give all her meds in the morning. I was giving her anxiety meds at night. And she couldn’t sleep.

My 11yr old son is going through puberty and was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten. We do no electronics for 3hrs (per dr who also has an ADHD child), focalin XR in the am, melatonin as he heads to bed, he reads for about 30min and then is out. He was also taking clonidine before bed but we decided to cut back on some of what he was taking, he seen a sleep specialist and she took him off everything which led to NO sleep and terrible ADHD behavior. So we put him back on the foaling and melatonin and he’s done great. The amount of electronis during the day will affect them no matter how far beforehand you turn them off, our dr say limit all electronics to 2hrs, get to fresh air when weather permits and no electronis for 3hrs before bed. Also STRICT routine with everything; wake ups, meals, showers, teeth brushing, bedtime, EVERYTHING.

When all else failed for our daughter with ADD we gave her Benadryl. There is also a rub on Salve that is made by matty’s you can buy at Walmart in the baby section. Rub a little bit of it on her chest at bedtime and it will help soothe her. It’s magic!