My oldest came out to me as gay at the age of 12. Trust me she knows what she feels. My oldest is now almost 22 and an amazing Trans man, married to a beautiful woman!
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Our oldest came out at 13 and I told her that I only knew and was waiting for her to admit it to herself. I was there for every moment and told her it wasn’t going to be easy but there’s always ice cream. She is now a trans-gendering and I will finally have a son. All they need is support. Our bond is now closer than ever. (The transition is happening in his 23 yrs age.)
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Just focus on loving people and if when the time comes she chooses to date a female you will support her whole heartedly. But if it was me I would emphasize that I would rather her keep more platonic relationships with both sexes until she was 15-16. But if she decides she wants to go farther then just friends with anyone just come to you and you will try to help her navigate the situation. It’s hard enough having those feelings in school. Hearts getting broken. That she has enough to worry about. Just let her know your there to love her and support her no matter what her decision
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The post is a little misleading… It begins with “my 11 year old told me…” but then goes on to say that the kid actually told her grandmother and is in fact afraid to tell her mom.
I would first suggest not going to the child and letting her in on the fact that you already know. She’ll likely feel betrayed by grandmom and won’t confide in her again.
The next time someone that’s a member of the LGBTQ community crosses your path, appears on TV, whatever maybe drop a hint along the lines of “They look so happy” or “I’m so glad he/she/they are living our their true selves”. Your daughter may not yet have told you because she may be unsure on where you stand in the matter. If you make it evident that you are accepting, she may come to understand that you’ll accept her too and just tell you.
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Well she’s so young, my 12 (almost 13) year old son isn’t into girls but that doesn’t mean he’s into boys. He just is enjoying being a kid and has no interest in dating or sex (as it should be at such a young age). So if it were me, and it was my child, I would let them know that I love them very much and they can always come to me but that I also want what’s appropriate for them, and dating (whichever gender) is not yet appropriate. She needs to focus on herself and on being a kid.
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Just don’t treat her any different than you would if she was straight. Most likely it’s not a phase, she may not be sexually active but she’s old enough to know who she’s attracted too.
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My 11 year old is the same and I just act like no big deal. I don’t make an issue out it…she seems think I should and I’m just like what ever…
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Cast the demons out of her jk love her adore her listen to her and support her
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Start up a conversation about the birds and the bees then switch up to unless you date girls then blah blah blah etc etc. And just hint that you are ok with her just the way she is.
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At that age I don’t see why she would feel like she has a sexual prefrance… Most kids I knew at that age was excited about going to the mall and the fair. Prob just a phase or she’s being influenced by another child.
Just let her tell you when she’s ready I remember being scared to tell my mom and when I did it was probably the worse thing in the world because she didn’t accept it I knew I was gay when I was 12 even now I still find females attractive and I have 2 kids & a husband
Join us at Raising Children UnFundamentalist. Most importantly, love and support your daughter no matter what. What if it is a phase? You’ll teach her that you’re on her side no matter what and support her being who she is. And if it’s not? Same answer.
Act normal. People treat gay people like they are different AND THEY AREN’T. Great her like you always have and act as if liking girls is the same as liking boys CAUSE IT IS. My daughter came to me and said she likes anyone who she finds attractive, boys or girls. And I just went with it. She brought home her first gf last year and I treated them the same I would have if it were a boy 
. Acting different will make her feel different and she isn’t. Love is love no matter what
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Just say that. My kids know because we talk about it openly. I didn’t ever want them to be afraid of who they are or be afraid to tell me. It’s okay to go to her and just talk to her like you would another adult. But I started with little things. Like when we watch a tv show where there is a gay couple I would make comments about how it was cool they included that in the show and how they’re so cute together. Or when my son asked to paint his finger nails for school, I just did it and we had a blast. He isn’t gay. But he knows if he was, I am not the parent who will shame him.
Wait and let her tell you and like you said tell her it’s fine with you and that you support her 100%!
Leave her be and just be supportive of your baby girl. Im so glad my girls know that they can come to me about anything and not be afraid of my reaction.
The power of suggestion is at work!
Very few 11 yr olds (him or her) like the other sex! Icky!
So just don’t over-react. Time gives us all new perceptions
Does any 11 year old like boys? At that age it shouldn’t be sexual.
You help them with like you help your child with every other problem you be there for them you support then
Amazon has books like you two could read together on self acceptance be supportive 
Just tell her exactly what you told us.
Just tell her it’s ok and u love her no matter what.
They are simply products of their environment, like us all. You gave them an environment where they were taught being gay is normal.
Teaching is critical. The child needs a better environment with less sin.
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Just sit and listen… Not with your ears but with your heart…
Just don’t tell her you think it might be a phase. She needs to know she has your full support, phase or not. 14 came out at 11, and we’ve been nothing but supportive and kept “phase” out of it. It helps so much to know they can be themselves around you
My 13 year old daughter has said the same, and actually has a girlfriend🤯 I don’t blame her! She doesn’t trust men. I’m accepting and treat her relationship (even tho young and they live in separate states) the same as I do my son and his girlfriend’s relationship.
Accept her for who she is, most girls this age think they see because of others but are not sure! Ask what it means if it’s not a phase love her for who she is!
Thats exactly what you say…
“I’ll support you and love you no matter what” 
Just be her momma…just love her… She is 11. Lots of growing and learning to do yet.
As a gay woman… may I please offer advice. Kids go through a lot of likes and dislikes. So, there could be 3 reasons why your daughter is having these thoughts.
- Being gay and gender is the IN thing right now for kids her age. I would not be surprised if this is the reason
- At 11, boys seem gross because well, they sure can be. Girls are more grown up than boys at that age, and her like of them maybe a type of sisterhood, not crush
- She is too young imo, to even know what she likes and it may be a phase.
I had crushes on boys most of my childhood, looking back, I did have a crush on my best friend but I was completely oblivious to gay people. I came out at 20, went back in the closet at 26, married my male best friend, divorced, came back out at 30.
Not to sound creepy, but you can message me if you would like me to speak to her. I’m conservative, do not believe in trans or gender stuff, and think children should be children. Offer is there. Good luck, remember, you are the parent…
Edit:
4. She could be gay
But, remember, she is very young, so just like a straight relationship, same rules apply
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If I’m speaking in a way that refers to future about marriage or family I always include husband or wife. I wouldn’t go to her about her telling your mom and not you as she may feel betrayed by your mom for telling you. I’d bring it up without mentioning your mom. Just my opinion.
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just tell her exactly that. it doesn’t matter who she likes but they better treat her right. i never had to “come out” to my mom because i knew she wouldn’t care who i brought home as long as i was happy. that goes for gender or race. i could bring home someone who is trans and even if she didn’t understand it, she would still treat us the same way she would if they were a man.
She is 11 years old it’s not unusual she don’t like boys at that age.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. If she tells you, great.
Get a good counsellor
Wow this is amazing!!! Dont betray her trust. Be supportive and always say kind words. :). Love her unconditionally
Just be there for her
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Let her be who she is.
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Do nothing, let her come to you in her own time. Or, just simply make it part of every day. Pave the way for her to come to you. Your mom broke her trust by going to you, dont let her know that trust was broken.
Tell her! Actually say it to her. That you’ll love and support her no matter what if it’s truly how she feels.
Not saying anything against it, but when you’re 11, you love your friends and boys tease you and you think they’re dumb & I remember holding hands with my best friends, but it wasn’t that we were gay, we just loved each other, maybe society is confusing kids…but if she is confused or worried about her feelings, yes, talk to her about them & help her to sort things out
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Listen, love and guide her as best you can. Acceptance is the first thing you did right 
At 11 years I was bonding well with girls and really challenging with boys. Idk how to explain. I didn’t like boys at all honesty I would only be myself with boys if they’re family. By then I didn’t know the depth of the word like. I mean the feeling of liking someone in more than a friends way let alone the word sexually attracted. It went on for a 3 years maybe then slowly I started getting comfortable and more accepting.
By than if someone told me what you’re feeling is gay I don’t know how it would have turned out about what I think of myself.
It might not be the case for all though. Some people do realise at a younger age and those preferences stays. I hope she figures it out.
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My daughter told me when she was in 7th grade. I was pissed that she said all the kids at school go on the playing field & talk about sexuality. I have always told my babes that it is no body’s business what they do in the bedroom except the person they are having sexytime with.
She was crying & asked if I was mad that she’s gay…. I said nope I don’t care. I’m just mad that y’all talk about it bc @ this time you are not having sex with anyone 
I actually took her to her 1st gay pride & got to experience that with her. She had never seen drag queens perform & I was so stoked to share that with her…. I absolutely love watching queens perform! She met some of her friends there & I kinda hung out in the back…. I really wanted her to experience it on her own, but I was In eyesight so when she looked back she could see me. It was such a rad day. She has asked me to go to this years pride with her.
She has a gf who I really like & they hang out at my house quit often. The only thing that I have a hard time with is they go in her room & lay in her bed & watch movies. I have a hard time bc my son has a gf & they are not allowed to hang out in his room…… I haven’t said anything bc honestly idk what to say. I go in & check on them about every 30-45 mins when they are in there just to make sure nothing is going on.
Just like that. 
say to her that she can tell you anything and you promise to never judge her and to support her always no matter what!
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In my opinion she’s 11 and that’s a bit too early to fully understand your sexuality. It could change and maybe it won’t. Love and support her no matter what but I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it. Treat her how you always have and talk to her about it anytime she needs to talk about it but other than that let her continue to explore who she is.
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First of all, I don’t think you should openly say that you know; she told her gran in good faith and it would sever her trust in her gran which would be a shame. Perhaps watch some tv programmes with different sexualities shown or books which talk about differences maybe? Chat to her about how everybody is different and that is okay and that it doesn’t matter to you if she was short or tall, brown eyes or blue eyes, gay or straight or bisexual, you would love her and accept her regardless. I would also try to mention that it’s okay not to know right now and that it can be very confusing when you’re a teenager and that it’s okay to just be herself until she decides, she doesn’t need a label. Secondly, kudos to you mama for being ever loving and supportive, it’s so important to let her be herself. You’re awesome! Xxx
My 13yr old has expressed she us gay or possibly trans as well. She’s not comfortable in her skin. I just support her in whatever life throws at her. I told her whatever she ends up is fine with us, as long as she’s happy. I know for sure she doesn’t like boys. Lol. We were in Wal-Mart yesterday when she seen and I quote " one of the pretty girls from school". She got all flustered & red. It was cute
Talk to her and don’t treat her any different do research and talk to her Dr.MYbe even have him talk to her but don’t make a big deal out of it as its probably just a faze most girls don’t like boys at that age or vice versa mine didn’t
When I was eleven, I loved my girlfriends too. It should not even be an issue. Even in the 10th grade I loved my girlfriends first. But after I fell in love at first sight with my husband, that was the end of loving them as much as I did. Don’t talk about it too much and it will pass. Focusing too much on it can tip the scales in the wrong direction.
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I feel at 11 years old we are too young to be able to decide what we want in the sexuality department. At 11. I dressed like a boy and hungout with the guys like i was one of them and today im more girly and totally different. I still have my sporty-side but im 100% a girl and into guys. She will know when shes older. Just because shes not interested in boys now doesnt mean that wont change, right now she may be more relatable to girls and really wouldnt know if its a sexual attraction (gay) or just she likes hanging around with girls more. i would just tell her she can decide what she wants when shes older and that it will be her decision but for now i wouldnt put too much focus on it because who knows maybe when she hits puberty things may change. growing up and figuring ourselves out is a process.
Either way be supportive! It could be a phase and maybe its not, only time will tell bc right now i feel she shouldnt be ready to decide.
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Just tell her you love her and will always be there to listen to her and support her.
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Confide in her something that is a secret see if she comes to you with her secret. If she does use praise and understanding, support, love, show her she is still the same kiddo you love, you’ll still be in her corner, etc.
Repeat what you just said I will support her no matter what!
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Just like you telling it here, sit down and have a one on one with her and let her know you love her unconditionally regardless of how she identifies.
Also make her aware of the craziness in this world and all those haters out there so she can be extra careful and not get hurt in any way. People could be really stupid sometimes and there is a lot of mean people that don’t approve of LGBTQ etc…
Tell her you’ll support her no matter what, but tell her she’s very young to make life decisions. I’ve never dealt with this,but maybe counseling to help her or both of you navigate this difficult road.
You already said it … right at the end of this and that’s exactly how you say it to her
Some of these comments ain’t it. Just tel her you support her whoever she loves regardless of gender. Don’t make it a big deal- you can even mentions casually that you support LGBTQ & wouldn’t care if your kid was queer. I’m a lesbian and my daughter is pan while my son is straight. Your born liking what you like. You can’t “tip the scales” or encourage one over the other. If being gay was a choice then every woman would avoid men 
jk jk.
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Ridiculas people she hasn’t even started puberty yet. If you don’t explain to her that her thoughts are confused from crap at school & on the internet yall are all insane. She doesn’t even know what it means to like girls or boys!!!
I would just relax and wait it out.
I was convinced until about 14 that I was destined to be a boy. My parents wrote me off as a Tom boy.
Hormones kicked in and boys started looking pretty good.
Worst case scenario, she has to deal with being gay. Just let it unfold day by day.
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Just be honest with her and then she’ll know that you’re on her side that’s all a parent can do
Aww bless her,I’m glad she told someone she trusted