By expressing to her that you love her and support her no matter what. It’s as simple as that. She’s 11, she will understand these words.
So the one guy gets blasted for saying “she’s not gay” because he really doesn’t know. I agree that was a dumb statement.
But lots of people are saying “It’s not a phase” as if they do know, and nobody is deriding them.
She will eventually decide for herself. Perhaps she knows now, but perhaps she is experiencing some normal 11yo confusion. Some of you that are so eager to push her decision in your desire to be enlightened (or for her to be like you) should be ashamed.
Let her find her own way.
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Mine told me the same thing, I told her that’s fine but no dating until she’s 82. Her brother says 
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Be supportive…be the person that she can depend on to love her no matter what…your response, reaction and ways of dealing is what she sees as your love for her…there is already to much judgement and hate from friends and the world be the one she can be herself and be safe and happy with and around…let her know she can talk to you and confide in you…and respect and be willing to learn if she decides to look or be referred to as a he,him…if not that’s fine some people don’t go into all that but be willing to respect what she wants,be there to talk and educate the best you can and be loving and supportive without judgement that makes her feel embarrassed or as if something is wrong with her…nothing is wrong with her…be very proud you guys have the kind of relationship that she can tell you these things …I once felt attracted to the same gender and was to embarrassed and knew my parents wouldn’t support me so I hid it never explored it or whatever and it’s something that I still question or wonder about…you guys already are on the right track if she feels comfy enough to come to you about this big personal thing she is feeling and going through…some say 11 is to young to know or to even be thinking sexual or whatever but I remember being 11 on the playground flirting it up with the boys… competing with the other girls for a certain boys attention…and being attracted to isn’t the same thing as sexual…your daughter knowing she is attracted to other females vrs males doesn’t jump to sexual…but she knows she is attracted to females and felt sure enough of it to tell you…so screw everyone saying she doesn’t know anything…she knows what she feels…and I’m sure most every other girl in school has some crazy boy crush and talking boys and she isn’t interested…she knows what she feels and is deff in an environment to understand and know regardless being 11…11 yr olds are very much interested in bf/ gf who is cute not cute…you is or isn’t popular and all that so she very much has the ability to be in a situation to realize she isn’t attracted to the boys and is to the females and is very sure enough to say something…take it seriously and be loving supportive and willing to respect her and the way she wants or feel about her feelings in future relationships or significant others
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Most girls that age do not like boys, let her grow up some more.
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Just talk to her. Let her know that it doesn’t matter who she chooses to be attracted too just as long as she is happy and knows that she is always loved and can talk to you about anything.
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Wait for her to tell you. And its simple…support her like you say you would. Dont mention the phase thing cause that can make her feel like you arnt accepting.
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Just listen to her. Love her. Whether you feel this is a phase or not. Just be there for her
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She’s 11, it’s normal to have same sex attraction during adolescence. Treat her like you always have.
As a bisexual who came at 11, I knew for a fact that I was into both even earlier than that, I was just nervous to say anything. Also have had my daughter just come out as bisexual and she’s 12. Just tell her you love her and whatever she decides, you’ll always love and accept her. 
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What 11 year old girl likes boys? Boys in that age range can be obnoxious. Doesn’t mean she’s gay - could mean she’s confused.
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I would say you were told about it and it makes you sad she doesn’t feel comfortable to tell you herself because you would love her the same no matter what but I would also like to add my 11 year old said she doesn’t feel normal that she likes boys because all the gender changes and being gay seems to be more prominent these days in the younger ages
Let her come to you else she may not confide in her grandmother surely you don’t want that. Just be a supportive and loving mom when she comes to you on her own.
Just tell her that. I knew at 11. Didn’t come out officially to my family til I was 15. Just explaining you will always be there for her and care only for her safety and happiness will mean the world to her.
I would suggest letting her come to you. And just offer unconditional love and support. That is all. Nothing else is required.
What a great mum you are.
I don’t believe you have to do anything, other than let her know, in no uncertain terms, that she will be loved and respected, no matter what choice she makes.
For those saying at 11 she’s just “a little girl”, that’s extremely naive.
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Buy them rainbow look up the flags see if they want one. Have an honest conversation. Do not talk per say but listen and think before you respond. If you respond negatively it can make the person back off.
You just said it to us. There is no other way then the way you said. I have a gay son. He came out at 12. I told him I already knew. Is it a faze who knows. Just listen is all they want that and to be loved no matter what.
You don’t have to navigate her through anything…just be supportive and don’t single her out like its not normal…go on like normal.
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Tell her she is to young for any relationships right now. Tell her these are the days for having fun . Buy her books on teenage self awareness but not necessarily ones that are aimed toward gay. Let her know you will love her regardless and you would love to discuss it more with her in future. Let her know that feelings change and that’s ok
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By saying exactly what you said in this post to her. You love her no matter what and her suxuality whatever it may be, doesn’t bother you one bit.
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literally just that.
That you love and support her.
maybe buy her a pride flag, to let her display somewhere around the house…Try to educate yourself by joining support groups (I hate calling them this, but I think that’s what they’re called) they usually have good networking links to find others in the community so she can find safe friends.
My son came out at 7, hes 15 now and this is how we helped him. His flag is in his window and can be seen off the street, he said it makes him feel like he’s got a safe place.
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One of my kids went into this and my response was “oh. Are we talking about sex now ? You should hear what I really like doing with your mom…”
Got cut off at that point and followed up with “this is for you and God to work out. I love you as a father no matter what”
By just being cool with it. I think being bi or liking girls is pretty common at that age…we were just too scared to say so but even old stories are full of girls developing a pash on another girl. She may decide she also likes boys, or decides she just likes one or the other. She may also decide she doesn’t care about their gender. Is there a particular girl that has brought about this realisation? Maybe ask why she’s mentioned it and just say you’re fine with whatever and leave it there. Hope you like the pic 
I’m going through the same thing with my 11 yr old. I believe it is a phase as it seems to be the in thing rn. I have 4 kids. Oldest is almost 18 who had told me she was gay about 3 years ago, and just found out she was pregnant a few months ago. My kids know I do not care what their sexuality is. Ill love them regardless! Just let her know you love her and want her to be happy. Regardless if it’s with a girl or boy! It makes no difference!
My daughter is the same age and my step daughter is 12. With so many tik toks about gender & LGBTQ+, kids are drinking it all in. Both my girls have come to me, my daughter considers herself non-binary and my step daughter says she’s bi-sexual. They are young and trying to find their place in this world. Talk to your daughter and support her during this confusing time. I promise you, your love is the guide she is looking for. Don’t tell her she’s too young, or dismiss her feelings. You will only confuse her more. Love her and support her. 
in all phases the moon is still the moon.
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The same as you would if you were ok with her being sexual with boys at 11. I don’t care who has sex with whom, it’s not my business. Until it’s my 11 year old child. Period. This same group gets uptight about parents letting their daughter’s boyfriend spend the night, but apparently child sex is totally cool as long as it’s not hetero…
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Tell her there is nothing to tell you… would she have told you if she was straight?
Tell her okay I love you
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My daughter is 14 she came out at 10
Theyre not even sexual at that age(or hope they arent), they dont know what they want for sure. Just take it with a grain of salt and when she gets older and wants to insist on it just love and accept her the same, but I wouldnt take it so seriously.
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Just tell her that. Tell her that straight or gay you will love and support her.
My cousin’s daughter who is 11 came out yesterday and so far everyone in the family accepts her. We’ve taught my daughter that it’s ok either way. My cousin bought her daughter the lesbian flag from Amazon. Just be there for her and let her know that you support her.
Tell her what you told us. Educate yourself on the subject
As a bisexual mom with a bisexual child be excited for them tell her your proud of her for coming to you about it…let her feel love and acceptance
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Trust me, it can be hard! She might be teased and talked about, it will hurt! But make sure she knows she has you in her corner and that she is free to be who she is! Your support will be the most important thing!
My niece gave this (among other books) to her daughter when she was around 12 and unsure with her sexuality, and wore a man bear pride shirt (the lil girl was afraid of Mama’s reaction)…and took her to the gay pride that weekend, and made the world of difference to the child!
these parents are+ nuts>>>>>>
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First day dealing, went to pit saw the floor, he said jump on stick. At 8PM, in Atlantic City. The rest is history
Leave her be she is only 11 time will take it’s course she is still a young child
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She is only 11
The school are teaching them. Stuff.
So I wonder how much is it her or the stuff that they out in their minds
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This maybe an unpopular opinion but I feel like being gay is cool now or a trend. I’m also going through the same thing. However I support my child and if later down the road she finds herself to be or not to be I will still love and support her I just want her happy and healthy.
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You know your child best, when she is ready for this discussion, shoot for straight-forward nonjudgmental language that defines a quality relationship and encourages her to discuss openly. For example, “I wanted to talk to you about relationships - there are all kinds of romantic relationships. You may experience attraction to males, females, both, or maybe even some other feelings. Do you know what these terms mean? (Go through the 
terms together and allow questions to be asked/reactions.) For all of these relationships, there are some things that should be present in a loving, healthy relationship…. And then go into what those standards should be.
Give support ,do not judge them, let them talk without interrupting, if they ask a question be thoughtful before you answer, reassuring them that you will always love them.
My 11 yr old daughter just told me she is ready to have sex with her boyfriend. I told her I love her and I’m proud of her and so far, everyone is very accepting of this realization of hers.
Are you horrified yet? Listen to yourselves… normalizing child sex. It’s completely normal for boys and girls at this age to prefer their own gender, to have best friends and even love the same sex. Doesn’t mean they are gay! To say they are gay, (or even straight!) is to say they are sexual and you are celebrating that! You are blurring the lines for these children and it’s absolutely disgusting.
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I’d just tell her exactly what you wrote.
Tell her exactly like you just told us. Give her a hug, reassure her. Be willing to learn with her. Good luck to you! A lot of these kids don’t have accepting family.
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She doesn’t need help as she is not broken. She just needs love.
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Why are we sexualizing our children at 11? Doesn’t matter strait or gay but like 11? I’m blowed. Who’s teaching these things to CHILDREN. PERIOD. and who allows a child to date at 11? If not dating ye these things shouldn’t matter. And she’s not broke she doesn’t need help. Teach children to be children. Just my opinion.
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Your a beautiful mumma. You just said it all right in this post. Let her know that you know and it’s ok. Then say everything you said in this post
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Stay open and honest Reassure your love .11 yrs old far to young for this walk alone
Please read ROMANS CHAPTER 1.
GOD BLESS
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Just talk to her openly about it. Answer any questions she may have and be sure to tell her that you love her and support her no matter what
How does an 11 year old know who they prefer to have sex with? It does not seem appropriate at this age to determine these concepts.
Just tell her that you love and support her and let it go.
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Tell her.
Or hint it.
“My friend came out gay to me, and u know what? I still love her, do you know anyone who is gay?
How about a counselor…she may have lots of questions.
An outsider non judgemental.
Blame it in your schools new woke n crt curriculum. They are teaching young children things they should be learning till mid teen yrs. Plus they are pushing being gay as the new in n greatest thing. Should let kids learn what they need to according to age. By time they are in college or working, they’ll know for sure which way they want to go sex wise.
Like Jasmine Odea said ! Just be there , let her know it’s ok . 
Leviticus 18:22 let God tell her
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Just act like it’s no big deal. Be like “that’s cool. I liked girls at one point too” and she’ll know your supportive even if it doesn’t “stick” cuz I went thru the phase too.
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Talk to her openly and show her love if need be take her to a therapist to help her figure things out, and help her along the way. That’s beautiful I’m glad you’re not against it!
Just talk about these topics casually. You support humans being themselves and loving who they want. If she sees you accepting outwardly she’ll get more comfortable.
just always remind her that no matter how she wants to live her life you will be there to support her and her decisions always and forever, just keep reminding her that and be her shoulder to cry on when she needs comfort. just be there for her thats all you can do sweetheart I hope she gets the courage to tell you and when she does just hold her and tell her that everything is ok
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Just tell her that. My younger two like both… and they know that I’m going to love them regardless
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When our older daughter told me she had a girlfriend. I was worried how I was going to tell hubby. The thing with our daughter is She loves the person’s good nature & soul. Be it a boy or girl. Let your daughter know that you want to help her, but you will need her to tell you how you can help her.
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Tell her you love her no matter what, an a dad’s love will always protect her an never judge 
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How many 11 yr old girls does like boys
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Tell her you love her and let her be her. It’s not a big thang. Just reassure her.
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Leave pamphlets around … make a general conversation
Kids follow alot of bad things they’re influenced by… and maybe just need some more attention… I would tell mine being that young, that is the last thing they need to worry about, live life focus on school and everything falls into place!
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Tell her exactly that. That you love, support and accept her… Reinforce that your parental “rules” involving her adolescent relationships do not change based on her prefered gender, and just go back to business as usual.
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Just tell her, sis. Remind her you’re her mama and the one she can always count on to have her back
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My oldest was born a very beautiful girl 
that baby was perfect!! Now my oldest is a handsome young man… he’s gotten a lot of crap from people not excepting him for who he is now and some people still say “she” but that’s okay… I’ll love my child until my last breathe and then some! Support your child, love and care for your child…
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Tell her that her sexuality has nothing to do with loving her , she’s your daughter and always will be and nothing can change that.
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You treat her exactly the same as if she weren’t gay. It’s no big deal. Hug her, tell her you’re happy she told you, and have a conversation about healthy relationships.
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my two oldestvdaughter came out to me also ones 14 and the other is 11 almost 12 and I could say I have fought may battles already for them with their own school talking about how it’s it’s sin to them and stuff they shouldn’t be talking to my children about I just tell them that it’s not gonna be easy cause most people can’t except the fact of one being gay but never let anyone bring them down or talk crap to them about what or who they love I told my girls I will always be there voice and back them 100 percent
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Tell her you support her and love her no matter what. You know, like you say in your last line.
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give her all the surport she needs xx
Treat her exactly the same like she never told you and it will keep it normal…
It is more than likely just a phase at 11 years old… don’t make something out of it .
By daughter is 10 and she isn’t ready for liking people in that way, its all harmless
X
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So, personally, I think it’s very important that you don’t break the trust she has with your mother, because obviously she has quite a bit to tell her such a personal thing when she’s scared to tell you. I’d ease into it and really think about how you want to approach it. Do things or involve things in your time together that might bring up the conversation. For example, Maybe have a movie night with her. There’s several, age appropriate, newer movies that portray same sex relationships that she may love(for example, love Simon or the spin off show love victor, and several others I know of.) when a part comes up where it is brought up, just talk out loud, maybe in a matter of fact type way. Maybe Express how you love and appreciate that newer movies and tv are less shy about creating a realistic picture of what a relationship can be, that love is love, period. That who you love or are attracted to isn’t a “big deal” to you. Don’t make it obvious that you know just find a way to have the conversation brought up about how you support that fully and have no judgement towards those that pursue those type of relationships. If not movies, wait for the opportunity to see something in public or maybe run across a post on Facebook that pertains to the subject. You don’t even have to necessarily be talking to her, just be talking so that you are heard, whether you get an immediate response or not. She may not come out to you right away, but make sure it’s known that that is something you support and keep the lines of communication open about it. Maybe you’ve kissed a female before? Bring it up when the opportunity arises! Be honest if you have and show you can relate in some type of at. Just be careful about breaking the trust between them. one day she may tell her something serious or come to her about something that is crucial you know about and if she doesn’t trust her anymore, she may choose someone that won’t come to you to confide about it to. At their age, it’s so important they have an adult they feel open with and trusting of and it may not always be you, mother and daughter relationships can be hard and trying during that time, so unless you feel it’s absolutely necessary, don’t hurt the trust she has between herself and your mom. But let her know without pushing it, that you can be trusted and are there as well. However, you’re mom and whatever you feel is best and feels right is the way you should go. My daughter is only 6(I have a bonus baby that’s 12 however) and I’ve already begun answering questions honestly(the best I can for her age) about people she sees out and about or things she may see on tv, in public, etc and have made sure she knows love is love no matter what, the most important thing is a persons happiness, and mommy knows and supports it 1000%.
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Wise words and well said, Marissa.
Beyond a doubt you support your daughter no matter what. However, be patient and let her share her thoughts with you. By telling your mom first she prevented what she might predict would be a reaction from you or she is gearing up to tell you and telling grandmom was the trial run.
There are three possibilities. One, she is truly attracted to girls in an intimate way and just innately knows. Two, she feels close with her girlfriends and is misinterpreting her feelings. 3. She is in the boys have cooties phase. She is preteen and around the age right before puberty. There are many ways to prompt a conversation but if she told your mom in secret you should wait to bring it up in conversation until she does. If she has health class with sex Ed I might start a conversation asking about what she is learning in class. Another conversation opener would be if one of her favorite musicians, actress or family friend is gay and how appreciative you are of them. Another conversation opener would be telling about someone you knew when you were young( if you did) or if you watch The Ellen show and casually mention she is gay. The biggest thing is to keep open dialogue with her when the time comes. If she hasn’t had her period yet, when she does relationship conversation can naturally come up then. Just don’t embarrass her, young preteens are sensitive! Love from the heart is the same whether shared with a girl or a boy.
My 13 yo “came out” but then told me it’s a tiktok challenge! They record how their parents take the news.
Regardless of a challenge or not, i’m not gonna love her any less or treat her any different than before. They are at a confusing/experimental age and hormones are running wild.
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It could be a phase, also she could just be confused, at age 11 my son told me he was gay, but he didn’t fancy men 
he had just started high school and suddenly everyone was desperate for a girlfriend or boyfriend as they see older ones doing that and fee they need to fit in. Because my son wasn’t interested in girls as he was a bit immature still he thought he must be gay instead!
So tell your daughter there is no pressure to HAVE to like anyone yet, but if she is gay that you are there for her no matter what.
My daughter is 17, and she has known for a long time she isn’t interested in boys, she finally came out last year and I told her that I don’t care who she is with so long as they treat her right! I took her to a pride event last night, she was so happy to be around people she fit in with 
At your daughters age she still needs to figure out who she is, she may be gay, she may not, but as long as she knows she has support from those who are close to her she will confidently grow up and be able to go into the big wide world happy and loved x
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum.
My 11 yr old is the same way… I think if she could she would date JoJo Siwa lol only god can judge… They r still young… I don’t say anything negative to her because she’s just 11
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Let her tell you herself don’t make a huge deal out of it
Tell her that you love her and support her
But most of all just let her be her true self
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Please never tell her it’s a phase and she will get over it… It’s the worst feeling ever I knew I was a lesbian since elementary and didbt come out till freshman year and that’s the first thing that came out of my mom’s mouth… We have feeling too and because we’re not heterosexual doesn’t mean that it’s a phase… Support her and let her know it’s OK to be different and that u accept her… Don’t turn your back on her and don’t push her away…
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Just show her unconditional love regardless. The idea from above about a movie is just awesome. Let time take its course.
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All you have to do is tell her you love her and support her no matter who she loves. If it is a phase, okay. She’ll grow out of it. If it’s not, she will know she has a loving mother and a great support system. Its really that simple.
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Put yourself in a situation (watching a movie/tv show/or otherwise) with your child where you are exposed to LGBTQIA+ people and make supportive comments. “I’m glad that they are comfortable with who they are & who they are attracted to!” “They are so cute!” “They look happy!” And sprinkle in “you could tell me anything & I’d be supportive” get them used to the idea of being comfortable and you being supportive so maybe they’ll get comfortable telling you
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My 11 year old has told me that twice now and then has “girl friends” the next week. My comment to him every time is … as long as you treat them the way you want to be treated
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My 10 year old son told me he was bi-sexual when he was 9. May be a phase, might not be! I love and accept him no matter who he’s in relationship with, or who he loves. I told him no matter who you date they better treat you right! Just let her know that you are there for her and you love her no matter what! Make sure she feels comfortable to come to you to talk about anything
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My daughter came out last year shes currently cut her hair like a boys hair cut. I love her the same its just gonna be a process that yall 2 as mom and daughter have to deal with together. Support her and her decisions. Im still struggling but we have to support them and love them.
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Just as you said here… “I’ll support and love you no matter what”. You are safe here - you can count on me to listen to you and have your back”. I love you for you…. Don’t over think your words to her… be straight forward and then hug the shit out of her 
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My suggestion would be to keep reminding her you will love her no matter who she loves and suggest to her keep an open mind when it comes to that stuff, remind her she is still young and deciding who she likes will come with time as she grows, tell her she is allowed to change her mind as many times as she wants to no matter how old she is. And never stop telling her you will be there and love her no matter what she chooses. Dont be like my parents, they were overly passive about it, dismissive really, and that hurt. I dont tell them about myself anymore. They get a version of me that isnt real.
I never answer on these but this one is something I will. The best thing to do is to sit down with her and explain that you’re okay with the situation and that no matter what you’ll love her unconditionally. Sexual preference is something most kids are scared to talk about but if they have a supportive system behind them they’ll be more open to discuss it.
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I would think at 11 she hasn’t even reached puberty fully. A lot of girls don’t start liking boys until they are much older. Tell her not to worry about it right now. Just concentrate on her school, her friends, sports or whatever makes her happy. She’s too young for any kind of personal relationship anyhow.
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She’s fine, just let her experience it on her own and just accept her for who she is. I knew I was bi sexual since I was younger then that because I’ve always found both sexes attractive. Just let her experience life and let her decide on her own in her own time, all you can do is love and accept her. And let her come out to on her own time, don’t force anything.
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