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"My 11 year old has shared with my mom that she thinks she’s gay because she doesn’t like boys but really likes girls. She’s afraid to tell me. I was raised to accept and love everyone regardless of sexuality so it’s totally not an issue with me. I’ll support and love her no matter what. I guess my question is how can I help her navigate this? She’s only 11 so it could be a phase but how do I convey as a parent that I’ll support her and love her no matter what?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Love and support don’t make her feel like it’s a phase though. We always said our dream is they find happy healthy relationships and that’s all that matters."
"I guess I would start by sitting down with her and talking to her. Let her know that it doesn’t matter to you, & that you’re okay with whatever makes her happy. It may be tricky since she’s young but just let her know you’re there for her if she needs to talk. Just give your complete support so doesn’t feel like she can’t tell you something again"
"Well first off you need to wait for HER to tell you. Your mother broke her trust it wasn’t your mother’s place to tell you."
"Just tell her you’re there for any questions she might have and educate yourself. Most of all you have to listen to what she’s telling you and not try to overpower her concerns with your own thought process. Just love and support her like you would if she liked boys"
"Keep an open line of communication. Let her come out to you. Educate yourself in the meantime."
"You’re not supposed to know. It’s wonderful that you are loving and accepting but you have to wait until she’s ready to tell you. Just keep loving on her like you’ve been doing. But I wouldn't tell her you know. If she was ready for you to know, she would have told you. Grandma violated her trust"
"I knew in elementary/ middle school I liked girls. It was a very confusing time for me until I admitted it to myself. Just love and support her."
"I would just tell her you love her still and support her and be there for her. Her dating life will be navigated in her own time and probably much like anyone else experiences it"
"Pro tip: when discussing a potential gay person the word “phase” is no bueno"
"This is awesome and I really love how you’re okay with her telling your mom instead of you. This tells me there’s much love and trust in this family and that your daughter can speak freely. There are some kid's books you can order online that touches on this subject. Maybe you could order a couple and leave them out for her to discover. You’re an amazing mom and it sounds like you have a wonderful family."
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