My 12 yr old is so rude. You ask her a question, even if you ask her something as simple as “What are you doing?” If somebody jokes around with her, she’ll automatically get irritated and respond disrespectfully, yet she expects people to “take a joke” I have tried everything I can think of, even just sitting her down and talking to her calmly to try and figure out why she’s always so rude. She always responds with “Well I don’t mean to be” Does anybody have any suggestions?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 12-year-old is constantly rude: What can I do? - Mamas Uncut
It’s the age and hormones buckle up
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Oooooh treat her the same for a day and give her a taste of her own
…
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It’s the age and not her fault
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Same boat with my 9 year old
Stock up on midol and feminine hygiene products.
It’s just begun. Give her about 30 years the attitude may subside.
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My 12 year old son is the same way!!
I feel your pain. I have a 13 year old and a 12 year old that are the same way. 
Give it right back to her and dont let up!!! My 6 kids tried me the same way! I was alot meaner than them
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Lol 
it’s the age but this is a big butt……
you need to sit down and explain to her her boundaries including being disrespectful whether she means to or not, she needs to be held accountable for her actions when she breaks the rules…
Lol 
I will be praying for you lol 
That’s exactly how my 12 year old daughter is.
Tell her to pause before responding
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She’s hormonal. That’s a difficult time for young girls & their bodily chemistry is changing.
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Kids only know what they are taught
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I’m a nanny to a 12 year old and it’s the exact same with her. Before this stage she was a very nice little girl. I try not to take it personal as yes, she is going through a lot of changes, hormones etc. I would probably tell your daughter it hurts your feelings and that she should try to work on how she speaks to you.
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Give her a taste of her own medicine.
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Preteen mama an it only escalates!!
So… You have a preteen? Gear up, girl you’re just gettin’ started 
Thinking 
age and stage going thru exactly same behavior with our 13*yr daughter
Is she involved in any extracurricular activities or do any kind of community/volunteer work? Or maybe a summer job shadowing would be helpful to teach her being respectful, controlling our tones, and just better communicating skills
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Ignore her. Unless she treats you with respect, don’t speak to her.
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She’s a pre teen. It happens but I for one don’t tolerate disrespect. Take away electronics. Sing that song why you gotta be so rude. 
hugs it’s a bumpy ride
I’m not the Momma that plays with that. Raised four daughters and it was trying. But they have a deep respect for me and their dad.
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My 11 year old is like this it’s definitely hormones but as been going on a since she was 9. I have 7 children and never had the problem with the older 2 girls but my 11 year old is making up 4 it I’m begging it calms down b4 i end up strangling her
Don’t punish her because she’s straight forward and honest… learn how to socialize with her differently…
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Read a parenting book. I like, the connected child.
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Record her and then sit down and show her just what your talking abt , then tell her you expect self control .
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Just a suggestion but maybe discipline her. My dad wouldn’t beat my a** if I talked to anyone like that. My grandma has swatted me right across the face for that kinda stuff. It’s not abuse it’s discipline. She’s gonna be like that her whole life and think of it this way if there is ever a school shooting you want her to be the last person they wanna go for. Teach her to respect others.
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My suggestion! Read and research growth and human development. She is being a completely normal 12 year old. Strap on your seatbelt its can be a very trying adventure. Best wishes. Much peace and love ☆
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record her for a day and don’t let her know then play it back to here
I have 6 kids and if I asked them what are you doing… I can only imagine what their responses would be…
The Terrible preteen nd teen years!!!
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Lol it’s just the way it is. 
Is it affecting her social life? If so than she’ll learn the hard way I suppose.
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Same boat with my 7 year old. She gets very rude and will get an attitude if she gets told she cant do something or I tell her to do something she will yell “You’re not my real mom or my boss and you cant tell me what to do” or I hate you or will call me a cuss word. I finally told her that if she is going to keep that up she will be grounded and not be able to play with any of her toys watch TV go swimming or play on her Dad’s Switch. Now if she talks to her dad like that she gets her butt smacked. I don’t smack her butt but I will raise my voice to her. When I was younger and I talked back or got an attitude with my parents I got grounded so I am doing the same with my daughter’s. My other one is 9 going on 20. She is the more laid back and responsible one and doesn’t like anyone being mean to me. I have had to ground her a couple times also but not as bad as my youngest. I think the reason why my youngest is acting this way is because their real mom has no rules for them and we do.
Sounds like my 15 year old daughter 
but people do it to her & she goes mad 
typical girl!
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Go cut a hickory switch stripe them legs
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I did the same thing to my parents and everyone around me… I didn’t mean to come off rude… Come to find out a year later, I was diagnosed bipolar 1.
Thats what switches are for
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Learn the art of roasting
Also, she’s probably super hormonal and feeling trauma about everything going on in the world and like no one understands and all that shit we remember feeling as a teen.
If she’s just being mad disrespectful, repeat it back to her, let her listen to her words and see how they feel.
set boundaries of how you want to be talked to or treated and refuse to let her treat you that way.
Welcome to preteen hormones
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She’s literally being straight forward with you and maybe she doesn’t like when people “jokingly” make fun of her or say stupid shit. I know damn well it pisses me off
No answer for you as my daughter is in her mid 30s and she still does this to me. I’m personally over it
Punish her, and be consistent with it.
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Remove everything but 2-3 outfits, her mattress and sheets and a book from her room. No more Mrs Nice Mommy.
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Buckle up and hang on!!! Shes a pre teen lmao
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She does it swat her arm or butt. That will get her attention and it is dicipline not abuse. Correct it now or you will have a bigger problem as she gets older.
have you tried a slap in the mouth ?
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My 14 year old is same
It’s a teenage girl thing. I have 2 13 and 15. I swear teenage girls are miserable hormonal unhappy creatures no matter what you do like they have it so hard. Just be ready because it won’t end anytime soon I let them know not to be disrespectful and to quit being rude but I swear it’s just something they go through.
Don’t put up with that. When she’s rude, take her phone and tell her that you’re going to hold onto it until she can talk to you in a civil tone of voice. Back in my day and when my kids were young, that sort of thing got you smacked in the mouth. Nowadays they say that’s abuse. So take stuff away, ground her, if she has plans with her friends, ask her how bad she wants to go and ask why she should be allowed to go if she can’t talk you decently. Tell her she can very well control how she talks to people and nobody wants to be around a smart mouth. When she can be decent, she can have her phone back and be allowed to do things again.
My 21 year old son is still like that but when he takes his Zoloft he can control himself better.
Well I am old school so popping her little mouth with my two fingers is what I did with my daughter ,it dose come with age but if you don’t try and find that little bit of empathy that exists in her you have hope my Mama and I myself used the guilt approach like what if that was one of your friends treating me like that what if someone treated you in that way wouldn’t your feelings be hurt but most definitely make her apoggzie to them and take away her privileges cell, computer,weekends with friends she will hate you yeah but she 'll be a better person cause you was a parent and always always talk to her to see if maybe the attitude comes from something else and not just pre teen hell
If she’s expressed not knowing how to change the attitude, believe her. If she doesn’t realize it’s rude or disrespecting you maybe teach her. Teach her how to speak properly. Give advice on how something could’ve been said differently. Show her the line between funny and hurtful.
Wow all of you so quick to punish… maybe just maybe, this could be pms, or somethings happened and it’s a trauma response. How about making sure she actually feels safe having a conversation with you. And if not find someone she’d be willing to talk to. Whether that’s a friend or a therapist etc.
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Kids have a hard time handling their emotions, even adults have a hard time. Explain to her that when she behaves like that it’ll make people not want to be around her.
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Stop taking the attitude personally. She shouldn’t be punished for being a hormonal teenager.
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If you ask her something and she responses nasty. Just ignore her. Don’t say anything else to her. When she learns to respect you answer her. Or better yet answer her as she answers you. And always say at the end how does that feel.
Sit down and figure out what’s wrong with them they prob have something going on they are scared/worried to talk about my 13yr old gets like that when she has stuff going on and doesn’t know how or what to say
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My 11 yr old son tries this till I take his electronics away then he all sweet and nice !!
Momma, it’s the age. This is actually pretty common is pre teens and teenagers. Hormones, changes, etc. All play a huge part in pre teens, and teenagers.
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It’s her age but my thought is if you want to talk to me like we are equal or whatever, you have to do what I do.
I did this to our son and his attitude changed quickly when he could only use or eat what he paid for🤷🏾
She’s a preteen and teenagers are horrid sometimes. But always gently remind her that she shouldn’t talk to people like that or disrespect her family members. Tell her she is allowed to have the feelings she has but is not entitled to treat people badly. And keep reminding. They grow out of that once they realize life is actually kinda scary and people can be scary and untrustworthy. If you’re a good steady parent they’ll gravitate back around and appreciate you as a parent. But hold on tight! 
Lol My poor mom:sweat_smile:
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I just wanna put It out there. Puberty is rough. All behaviors are communication, I’d consider looking into it.
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Make a jar for those things. Call it the disrespectful towards others jar make her put money IE … Her allowance in it when she acts out of place and if she does it more than once on any given day. . no allowance. privileges go away. Grounding. Etc make her write a essay on why she is supposed to treat people like she would like to be. And why manners matter. Extra chores if she doesn’t cooperate… get your family involved
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being popped in the mouth as a kid never worked for me I’m 26 years old I make dirty jokes, dad jokes , and dark humorous ones as well being hit as a kid gave me nothing but emotional trauma and I’m slowly learning to reconnect with myself due to this definitely don’t recommend
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So you just described my daughter. At this point we’re just living day by day trying not to snap her neck.
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Welcome to teenagehood.
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Well she’s 12 welcome to the world of an annoyed pre teen, also is she being rude or is she being honest or sarcastic?
I’m a professional nanny. I’ve raised 2 girls of my own already and have taken care of countless children and adolescents. I currently care for a 12 year old girl.
First…welcome to hormones and pre-teens honey. They’re rude and self absorbed and moody. Doesn’t make it ok. Just makes her very very normal.
Second…it’s absolutely ok, and I encourage you to call her out respectfully. Let her know she needs to clean up her attitude and be respectful. Be mindful of your tone. If it comes off as aggressive or condescending…that’s what she’ll give back to you.
Third: pick and choose your battles. Sometimes she’s just in a foul mood and as long as she’s not being rude…we ignore her mood. We go about our day like we’re having a great time while she’s sulking and looking annoyed. She usually eventually changes her mood.
At 12 her body is pulsing with hormones…so be gracious and understanding too.
It’s not easy…but she IS normal. She may just need to be told to adjust her attitude now and then.
Too bad they did away with charm school.
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She’s probably getting to the point of puberty and starting her period she may not realize she’s being rude all those feelings and changes in your body take some getting use to. Be patient with her and talk to her not at her it’s hard specially with girls I have 3 and the attitudes will drive you crazy but I make time to take them each out individually for mom and daughter time so we can talk or whatever.
Mine too 13 - it’s frustrating and I try and explain how she sounds and she’s like “I don’t mean too”. But then like 2 seconds later the same.
Hormones and maybe try some family therapy
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You’ve for about 6 more years to ensure the teenage attitude. Godspeed.
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Ok. I understand this because I feel the same. She does not tolerate fools gladly. . Don’t joke with her. She doesn’t tolerate liars or falsehoods. That is what jokes are. If your doing it wrong anyway. Telling a joke to be funny is one thing, and pulling a prank is another. Explain the difference to her. My daughter is always being “flip” when I started protection questions.
Where are you going?
Who are you talking to?
When will you be back?
So on and so forth. Explain to her you care about her wellbeing and need to know what is going on in her life. It got pretty heated with us and she decided to start a notebook of communication btw us.
It helped tremendously in that we stopped arguing and it improved our relationship as well. She does have control of her mouth. Teach her this. Think before speaking. It’s hard. It’s always been my problem in life. Some is respect and some is just intolerance. .
This could also be due to hormone changes and an inability to control them. So teach her about this as well. She needs to learn compassion,mercy, and kindness. Riding that dragon is not easy. Especially for beginners. Pray about it and teach her to do the same. God bless.
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Basic rule, if you can’t be pleasant don’t be present.
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Take her to Dave N Busters have a fun time! Then talk to them if they don’t listen , keep it military boarding school style rules till they change . Doesn’t mean you control them but teach them
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Exactly how my 12 year old boy is around us. I have no idea, discipline and talk to them about how being rude gets you no where. It’ll pass, someday.
You described a teenager! Just keep treating her how you expect her to treat her. Set an example. If you’re mean to her she’s just going to get meaner.
Teen boys are like this too. We as a society just seem to accept boys/men being rude.
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Better nip that in the bud real quick.
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12 is a rough age she’s becoming a young lady soon a teenager
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Give her a big hug. Sometimes teenagers have to figure things out themselves. Don’t give up!!! We were all there once
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That’s what 12 year old girls do
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A belt across the butt .that is what wrong with kids today .
Have you ever had your rear end busted for doing things you aren’t supposed to do?I know it worked for me when my parents caught me!!!
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She’s probably struggling to manage her emotions, which are heightened by the sudden surge of hormones. If she says she doesn’t mean to be rude, then acknowledge that. I’m sure she’s very frustrated by her struggle to manage her emotions. Then add to it that she’s facing conflict with her family over her failure to manage those emotions. It just adds to her turmoil. She’s going to need help to learn how to manage and cope with her emotions. Children aren’t born knowing these things. Heck, most adults don’t know how to manage their emotions in a healthy manner. Be patient and kind with her, regardless of how she acts. I promise, she’ll remember how she was treated when she’s older. She’ll remember if she was loved unconditionally and guided or if she was treated like an adult when she was not yet an adult.
Good lord, some of these comments are just sad. And I feel like the same people making such awful suggestions are the ones who ask why there’s so many cruel and dangerous people in the world. Why have children if you aren’t going to love them unconditionally and show them compassion? Children aren’t here to be blindly obedient and please adults. They’re individuals and they’re here to learn. Smacking them, being cruel to them, etc. doesn’t teach them anything except that it’s okay to treat people who don’t please you in that manner.
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Give her the 
You don’t need little Karen’s running around lol
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It’s all teenagers now. Social media is poison and giving my daughter access at 12 years old was the worst decision I’ve made in raising her. I was naive to social media. She hasn’t been the same since
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My daughter is 11 and can be really rude and disrespectful too - I usually remind her that she can’t talk to me that way and if it continues I take her cell phone and sometimes take away other privileges such as being able to sleep out and a friends house or going to a birthday party etc.
I know it’s only a temporary solution but it works for us. I cringe thinking about how I treated my parents at her age.
Definitely a 12 year old girl thing. My bonus girl is gowing through this right now with her hormones raging and everything sad thing going on in her life. You gotta support her and remind her nicely that shes being a butt today maybe she needs a break for herself away from others as shes over stimulated that kinda thing
This is a typical 12 year old girl…it’ll pass eventually
Puberty. Hormones. Her body is adjusting.
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Are u her friend or her parent
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It’s just a phase I hope. Cuz I have a 12 yr old also and he is the worst sometimes. The eye rolls the mumbles… I can’t wait till this stage is done lol