My 12-year-old refuses to acknowledge she got her period: Advice?

Just a sensible non emotional talk should do it. Just convey the fact it’s natural and happens to women.

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What you’re doing is perfect. Just put what she’ll need in the restroom. When she feels she needs help or is ready, she’ll let you know. Your parenting skills are awesome.

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She’s embarrassed. Just buy her a variety of products, leave them in her room and don’t say anything else about it.

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Modi bodi do period undies which may make her feel more comfortable than pads or tampons.

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Is there someone else she’s comfortable with who could talk to her?

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Yeah period knickers are a thing now. I haven’t investigated how it actually works but wish we had them when I was going through that puberty. And if they are washable, great for the environment.

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There’s period knickers liturally just like knickers but have an absorbent layer should definitely look into them for the time being atleast if she’s not using the period products then you can just give her the underwear also she might be more comfortable with that

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“The Care and Keeping of You” is a good book (versions for younger & older girls) to give her. They also have “Guy Stuff: the Body Book for Boys.”

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Aww, she is scared and you’ll have to make her understand there are different products. Perhaps period underwear is best. Tell her to tell you when she needs more.

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You’re doing all the right things. I worry that if she’s not using products at all or properly, she’s going to bleed through her clothes at be very embarrassed. Do you have a niece or younger sister that could talk with her?

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Why don’t you just ask her what’s going on. Maybe the way you approach her makes her uncomfortable.

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I did the same thing and my mom was open with me about it but for some reason I was still embarrassed and didn’t want to face it. I was 11. Now my 11 is doing the same

Well I would first stress that she needs to use the products wether she likes it or not or she is just going to wreck most of her clothes that’s something she needs to know is a must but in the process of showing her that it’s ok and normal …… I didn’t have an issue with my daughter…it was more harder for me to get her to be willing to wear a bra ( though I can very understand that)

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Leave her alone, maybe your to pushy and she is embarrassed about it. She will come around.

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Teach her how to use each different product, tell her where they’re kept in her bathroom, and let her be. She’ll get it, maybe she won’t want to talk about it, but as long as you educate her on how to use them and keep them available she will figure out which is best for her

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My daughter did exactly this, was hard. She gets embarrassed about these things well she did. So for months I just tracked roughly what dates it would be, and bought what she would need and left it on her bed with some chocolate or face masks etc. now she comes to
Me and let’s me know
When she needs pads etc
I never pushed her, just made sure what she would need is there for her xx

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Are there men in the house? Is she embarrassed/ worried that they will see the products in the basket? Or see a bloody pad in the trash?

Pads and a good psychological evaluation

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She doesn’t need it tattooed to her forehead, just a band aid and move on. You can dwell over it yourself.

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I’m 27 and I still won’t even say the word outloud

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I hid the fact I started mine for a year from my mom. Just make sure she knows what she needs is there. Maybe have her own personal stash she can put away in her room or purchase cloth ones that are reusable. If she’s that modest and withdrawn about it, she’s not going to make it obvious to others that it’s happening so she will do what she needs to do. Some girls never have that sort of comfort towards their mothers and its not at all your fault.

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I used to be like this. Take her to a counselor.

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I would put a basket of all different things (pads in different sizes/capacities etc and period undies) [modibodi is what I use and they are brilliant, true to size and come in diff colours or black] I would put it all in her room with an easy outline of what’s what and how often to change what ever your using, i would also put in another basket for washing of underwear, so it’s a bit more discreet for her,

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The period underwear is a good idea, and at night buy her some washable pads the hospitals use under patients to capture urine and a few pairs of pajamas pants that will be used for only her periods and let her know she can use these things to free bleed at night so maybe she is more comfortable than using products

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Some girls are afraid that when they get their periods, they are no longer a “kid”. Most women tell their daughters that when it happens, they become a women and that alone can scare a girl because they take it differently then what we actually mean. Maybe just sit down with her and ask her how she feels about it.

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Not your fault. I hid mine from my mom too. She was very open about it. I just was uncomfortable and shy, plus anxiety was horrible. Just leave a basket of feminine products in her room . Anonymous and she can decide what she likes. (I just hated my period… ) (didn’t want to discuss at ALL. )
This isn’t your fault.
Hugs , be patient .

Give her a gift card to order feminine products. !

I used to be so embarrassed to have to go buy those.
Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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My bonus daughter who is 11 started her period this year, when she had her first period, she called for me and told me she started it. She cried. I tried to explain to her what is happening (which she basically knew already because they learned about it in 4th grade). Her biological mother isn’t around much (nor does my bonus daughter like talking or even dealing with her mom). Now my biological daughter was 13 (she’s 14 now) when she started. She was nervous and the first day she started, she asked me to lay with her at night. I had gotten both girls pocket calendars so they can write down when they start and finish. I showed both girls how to put a pad on. (Showed them with a clean pair of panties and put the pad on it and gave it to the girls (their first period)). My biological daughter tells me when she starts and finishes her period (which I keep track for her to) and my bonus daughter is more quite and doesn’t say anything about it. I have told both girls to let me know when they are getting low on their pads (they both use 2 different sizes)… With the pads at our house we have a plastic dresser in the bathroom. The first drawer is for toilet paper, the second drawer is pads, and the final drawer is my boyfriend’s socks (we have a 2 bedroom trailer and the girls share a room and my bonus so has his own room and me and my boyfriend sleep in the living room). So in my opinion I would put them in a spot where it’s not in the open that screams “I’m on my period” but more private.

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buy her some period panties

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Is there someone in the family or a close family friend that she looks up to that could talk to her about it? I went through a similar situation, I didn’t want to talk to my mom about it. In my situation I knew how to take care of it and keep myself clean but I would rather talk to my grams and ask her for supplies rather than my mom. I also have and have always had an amazing relationship with my mom, it was just a weird time.

My daughter was just shy of 10 and locked herself in the bathroom and cried. We got through it not according to my plan which was day off from school girls lunch ect. To her being extremely embarrassed. We found out when she was 12 she had ovarian cancer, 9 rounds of chemotherapy and surgery to remove her left ovary and fallopian tube she’s still kicking

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My mom and I were close and open but when I got mine I hid it as well I have no idea why !! But I found when she just went and got me pads and they were in the bathroom I got more comfortable with time !

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As long as the products are there she will use them. At some point have a private conversation with her. Tell her it’s very natural to get your period. Explain that she should expect it every month and to start with pads. She can listen and learn a lot from you.

Personally I would take this as an early indicator of a bigger communication problem and maybe consider joint therapy.