My 12 year old still wets the bed: Advice?

Not sure with boys, but with girls they usually stop wetting the bed when they start their period.

He’ll stop on his own however take him to a urologist for testing. They can do test the pediatrician can’t.

Use a chuck pad and adult diapers until it stops .and it will stop eventually

1 Like

I remember sleeping heavy and dreaming of urinating. It woke me up embarrassed and ashamed. No Diapers. Put bed pads down to absorb. Try an earlier bedtime so he isnt as tired and may wake up to go. Good luck. I guess they ruled out medical problems…

Carl Crook apparently it’s common x

All 3 of my boys wet the bed later than most. The oldest didn’t stop til he was 14. Our doctor told us it was hereditary in males.

1 Like

Have him tested for sleep apnea

1 Like

At that age , the bladder did not catch up with the Growth of the body. Both my Kids were bed wetting. Grew out of it around 12

1 Like

My pediatrician told me it’s normal up to age 11, especially for boys. She told me that she could give us a referral for a urologist for the issue. You mentioned you’ve been to a specialist. What type of specialist? Urologist might be your next step. My dad says my uncle wet the bed until he was a freshman and then just one day he stopped. Also does he sleep in pull ups? You said you were doing laundry.

1 Like

I did this as a kid. Until I was about 8. I was on medicine and I just eventually stopped on my own. When I had children, my daughter started and didn’t stop until she was the same age, 8. She seen a pediatric and she put her on miralax because we found that her bowels weren’t emptying completely, and because if that, it was pushing on her bladder. We were on the miralax for about a week, and after that she stopped wetting the bed.

And I know it can be frustrating, but please, wake him. Imagine how horrifying it is for him. There will be plenty of time for sleep later.

1 Like

Is his bed adequate size for him?

Get reusable chux and put that on the bed. Saves washing all the blankets. Also see a urologist.

CoolShields Waterproof Bed Pad Washable 34" x 52"(Pack of 1), Incontinence Bed Pad with 8 Cups Absorbency, for Adult, Children and Pets[Oeko-Tex Certified]

My sis used to wet the bed to they said it was ulcers but it was her kidneys !Please get him checked out by an urologist !!


You need to take him to an urologist, a paidopsychiatrist and have him evaluated. It’s not normal and it has to be evaluated.

My oldest stopped when he hit puberty, my youngest stopped at 4. Sometimes it’s just a waiting game. <3

My son is also 12 and still does. I’ve had him to the doctor, they say he’ll grow out of it. I buy him XL pull-ups. Be glad your son does clean up after himself. Most kid’s probably wouldn’t! If my son does have to clean up in the morning, he does. He gets a shower, and washes his bedding and clothes. Which I have no problem with him doing. I’d rather him do it, than everything stinking! Buy some pull-ups and limit drink time at night. Good luck!!!

Some kids will have accidents up to early teen years, it’s actually not as uncommon as people may think.
If you dont already do this, make the bed up twice with the protectors and sheets so it can be stripped back quick and easy in the middle of the night. I’m sure it will stop soon and it’s probably bothering him too but if he obsesses over it and stresses that won’t help.


Seems like a reach here but my son was consistently bed wetting and we actually found out that he had an impacted colon. Once we started him on Miralax and got his bowel movements under control, his bed wetting stopped. I guess he was so backed up that it was pushing on his bladder.


Night terrors cause bed wetting. I normal cut drink at 830 at the latest for our house but if they get thirsty only water

Depends he will hate them and hopefully will start getting up

Go to urologist …me & my brother wet the bed till we were 8 yrs old…I have kidney issues

1 Like

Check him for enuresis, my cousins husband had and 2 out their three kids did as well

1 Like

I was wetting the bed until 12 years old. Members of my family also did. At this age, its because the hormones that wake you to wee haven’t figured out how to do that yet, he will outgrow it. I also had specialists and medications and everything you could think of, it’s just one of those things. Id recommend Night pants though as its not nice for him to be sleeping in a wet bed and having to change it every night.


It runs in my family. I swear most girls in my family wet the bed until we were teens or almost teens. Personally I would dream I was in the toilet and wet myself. I use washable mattress protectors for my youngest as she still wets the bed. I know it can be frustrating. But he’ll grow out of it.


My 10 year old, wets the bed. There’s nights that he won’t thou. He has a really small bladder. So, even if he doesn’t drink anything… He’ll still pee like a bowl full lol. Like he drank a gallon of water. He can’t hold it either.

Urologist can help, a friend had to get her bladder stretched, it was too small

My daughter was a bed wetter. We did the whole medication Miralax routine with little change. Then she just stopped. I know that the whole situation is frustrating but he truly can’t help it and wants it to stop as bad as you do. It will eventually. Hang in there!


My 11 year old wet the bed for years until she started going to sleepovers. She herself made the conscious effort to not do so anymore.

My daughter did it a long time. She was healthy. Just a very sound sleeper and small bladder.

Here’s a website from my daughter’s urologist. There’s a lot of helpful information here.

Try having his bladder checked to make sure it’s not something medical…had a nephew who’s bladder did t grow the size it was supose to etc…


Lots of interesting comments. Our son had a hormone deficiency and outgrew it. The Dr gave him a nasal spray that was a hormone. He diagnosed him and said it’s very common in blond headed blued eyed kids. But not always blond headed and blue eyed. The only other thing I would question is … is the child sitting at computer staying up all hours of the night gaming? If so… there’s a real mess going on around that with kids today. Not saying much else but there’s a gaming addiction issue in todays world tied to some of these issues.

1 Like

My nephew was wetting the bed a 7 and after many dr appointments and everything checking out to be fine. My sister was buying his pull-ups, once she told him he had to buy his own pull-ups. He bought one pack and after 4 nights. He started getting up to go use the restroom. He didn’t want to spend his money. It worked. He is 14 now.


Cut back on drinks about two hours before bed time, and if it is his backed up bowel movements, Miralax, to help him go number 2 all the way. My 7 year old daughter still wets herself, but that’s when she’s crying. And at night when she has something to drink before bed.

Looks like you’ve tried everything to help and its now a wait and see situation. In the meantime get him some pullups to save on the laundry and his embarrassment.
Its not uncommon in boys and many adults still have problems.
Try reducing soda if he drinks it as the caffeine can irritate the bladder…Many people are allergic to caffeine …dont limit fluids as this will only make matters worse in the long run making his bladder feel full faster and encouraging infection .

1 Like

Have you taken him to a Urologist? Sounds like something is wrong. Start there first…


I had this problem when i was a kid, i tuink i grew out of it around when i was 12-13. My parents had to stop letting me have anything to drink like 2 hours before my bed time, go pee right before bed and even then it was hit ir miss.

Hormones will change and he’ll wake up for the toilet in time, provided it’s not a medical condition❤

He will grow out of it.

I had a child wet the bed like that. Nothing helped. He didn’t flinch with alarms, even tried meds for sleep away camp at one point. Tried restricting drinks, tried all of the things and then I “trained” him to get up. He would pee before bed. Then I would wake him up in 2 hours, then 2 hours after that, then 2 hours after that. Every single night at the exact same time. Within 3 weeks when I went to wake him he was already in the bathroom. He hasn’t wet the bed since. His body needs to learn to wake up and go. So he has to go to the bathroom, go to bed, be woken up and go to the bathroom at the same time every night. If it’s sporadic it won’t be as effective. It’s short term inconvenience for a long term solution. I NEVER thought he was going to stop. Ever. It’s been like 7 years


My son was a very heavy sleeper and wet the bed, our doctor had us do some mental exercises within at night. When he was in bed with his eyes closed and relaxed, he would imagine a balloon pressing on his bladder and then the pressure would trigger his mind to wake him up. It was a long process but it worked for him.

He needs to see a therapist​:grimacing::grimacing::grimacing::grimacing:

Maybe ask him if anything is bothering him? Is he having nightmares etc some kids struggle with feelings and that might be the reason, or maybe try no drink for an hour before bed time and to go to the toilet an hour before bed then just before bed then leave a glass of water in his room for night if hes thirsty then explain if he wakes for a drink I in the night he has to go to the toilet when he wakes up for that drink?

Medicaid covers incontinence supplies if there’s a medical reason. My 7yo is adhd and odd and not yet diagnosed with asd.

My brother couldn’t drink pop

My 7 year old still wets the bed also. The doctor said to cut off drinks at 7 p.m

Had this problem years ago. Bought a pad from Sears it had little electrodes attached. The moment it sensed 1 little wet drop a buzzer would go off and wake him. Three days later the problem was solved.

Have his bladder checked with a test I’m not sure what they go exactly but they fill the bladder to see if it is too small and if it has spasms or anything else

Certain medications can cause this also.

If he has no medical issue it is stress related. My father died, we moved, new school and other stressors, I was in sixth grade. By the next year it all stopped. Give him support, don’t make an issue and it will stop.

Is he constipated? I work in peds GI and we often have bed wetters referred to us and once we treat the constipation, they no longer have continence issues.

i was told by the incontinence clinic that it is still very normal for a boy to be setting the bed every night in his early teens … it drives us insane as we have 2 boys that were the bed almost every night and we have 6 kids all up, so we already have so much washing and then adding the sheets daily on top. we’re now looking into getting a 2nd washing machine.

I done this until I was 11 and I believe I remember hearing a family member say they done it up into their early 20s. So with mine I’d literally have dreams so real that I thought I was in the bathroom peeing. My parents done everything as well. I kept telling them I got up and went to the bathroom just to finally realize I was dreaming but seemed so real.

1 Like

Some kids wer the bed until they are 15 or 16. There is usually an underlying issue like psychological problems. Don’t embarrass or scold him. He can’t help the situation until he finds ways to cope.

1 Like

Since you tried a lot I suggest pull ups or the depends that fit him. Also might seem like a hassle but place a plastic barrier between mattress and sheets


My ex husband, two of his brothers and two of our sons had the same problem. Come to find out the issue was too small of a urethra. It was outgrown by 13-ish. Dr suggested “sounding tools” we gave the option. Bought them. Not sure if they were used or not.

My sister was the same way. She was a heavy sleeper and she needed her tonsil and adenoids out. After her surgery she never wet to bed again.

My son is the same way he is 12 and wets the bed still he has ADHD but won’t pee In a cup or anything to test his bladder we are switching Docters so I’m going to ask his new ped about it as well

Kids in my husband’s family tend to wet the bed…we put my son on imipramine…it helped a whole lot!!

No chocolate or Milk or other beverage 2-3 prior to bed try giving Metamucil

What does doctor say

1 Like

No drinks 2 hour before bed, make sure he goes pee before getting into bed at night, and I would definitely get his bladder checked out. They do make bigger sized disposable underwear for this reason though, he might not be a fan but it’ll save everyone having to wash/change sheets so frequently. And get a waterproof mattress cover.

I done this to untill I was 11/ 12 my daughter the same my doctor said it could be an extra Hormonal that does it x

My mom, set her alarm for every hour and a half for 3 to 5 days. Until he start waking up on his own to go bathroom… there was alot of tears but after a few days it stopped.

You’ve tried all avenues known. And kudos to you for working so hard. I would step back and give him TIME. Support him in what he needs. If it’s easier to change a pull up vs bedding, get those for him if he says so. 12 is still young in the bed wetting arena. Remind him it’s not his fault and help him with the best solution to manage it while it’s happening. I would let him voice the route you take. Let him know doing nothing for awhile is ok too. I would NOT restrict anything as suggested above, unless he thinks it helps. He knows his body and has to clean it up. The stigma and negativity surrounding the situation is hard enough. (Not saying from you, just in general.) Please tell him he is not alone! It’s way more common than is talked about.

1 Like

Sometimes boys bodies grow quicker than their bladders and it takes a while before they catch up. This is fairly common in young boys and right now you just have to be patient and wait it out. You’ve ruled out medical conditions, which is good. But now , you just have to wait.


Stop him from drinking at a certain time, use depends or pull ups, use mattress pads (they are disposable and right by the depends underpants)it will help keep sheets dry so you wont have laundry every day. I did this when i was training my son to use the potty

1 Like

Someone I know had this problem until they found out she had a birth defect that caused it, she had to get on pills to stop it

Try seeing a urologist. One of my daughter’s went through a similar situation (and we tried all of the things you tried as well). Her situation was there was a pinched nerve situation near her spine and bladder that was causing the problem. She’s fine now and has been for several years.


Sometimes it takes till they are 14 to out grow it. Did u see a urologist? Also stress can be a key factor.

He will outgrow it. My parents went as far as having bladder surgery at an early age. Which has since been disproven as a fix for it. Sadly I don’t think I outgrew it until I was 16 or so completely. It was really hard in my teen yrs with regards to bullies because of it.

I did this to you when I was younger, I was getting touched by my neighbor appropriately and was scared to tell anybody. I’d ask if anything is going on that he isn’t telling you away from the other parent in a safe environment.


Urologist. I had a friend who’s son did this. He did finally grow out of it.

I did this!! He will outgrow it!

Ask doctor’s. Not Facebook. Continue to seek the help of specialists.

1 Like

Has he been wetting the bed since the beginning or did he not wet the bed at one point and just started again? If he wasn’t wetting the bed at one point and suddenly he is again, I’d go to the doctor and maybe talk to him and see if anything is stressing him out. If he’s never not wet the bed, I have no idea lol

Could be a bladder problem. I had issues with my bladder but it was from having 4 kids but my bladder wasnt strong anymore. I got put on meds and i havent peed my pants in months lol Best thing ever. If the meds didn’t work we was going to do a bladder sling surgery. SO I’d definitely talk to DR about bladder

Sometime these things take time… not everyone develops the same. My mom quit at 13… I quit at 8… my brother quit at 20… my daughter quit at 2 but my son is still wetting at 9. Be patient and understanding to your child I wish I had that as a kid.

I will say if you feel you must do something… look into “in control therapy”. Bladder/bowel therapy, kinda like physical therapy. <3

1 Like

Sadly it could also be a sign of SA.


Sometimes it just happens. It’ll probably stop soon or atleast by thirteen.

Does he have bm issues? Our son did which caused his bed wetting.

it’s normal until even age 14

1 Like

Pullups or if a larger child, adult incontinent briefs.
My husband and 2 of my sons didn’t outgrow it till puberty.


Probably not the right set of answers but you are getting them anyway 1. Reduce liquids anywhere between half an hour and an hour and a half before bed 2. Put him in nappies at night until you speak to someone on a professional level or it stops completely also have him do the toilet before bed

1 Like

Get him some Depends if there is nothing that can be done about it now. That will keep it from leaking onto his clothes, sheets, blankets and mattress


I’d go to the doctor and explain this to thin . He could have a bladder problem , uti , or even type one diabetes …… I’m so happy your not getting upset with him , but I’d definitely talk to someone on the professional level .

Have him stop drinking any liquids 2 hours before he goes to bed. And him use the restroom right before he goes to bed. Set an alarm every hour during the night and have him use the restroom. We did this for 1 month and it stopped. We also had them wash their own pee bedding.

1 Like

I would look for a different specialist.

1 Like

My oldest brother joined the army with his buddies. He was given a discharge because he still wet to bed at 18 or 19. I don’t know if my parents had consulted a doctor about his late bedwetting. That was back in the late 50s. I don’t know when or if he ever stopped.

It’s a sign of autism. If it’s recently started it’s a sign of sexual abuse. Worth looking into either way.


First off…if a parent was a bedwetter there is a better chance (I don’t remember the %) of being a bed wetter. (My grandmother wet the bed into her teens, we found this out from her older sister.) The bladder doesn’t grow quickly enough for some people. AND THIS IS MORE COMMON THAN PEOPLE REALIZE!!! We were given a choice, our pediatrician said we could do the bed alarm thing but that doesn’t “prevent” it and honestly just messes up everyone’s sleep, we could be prescribed a medication that would mask it (not fix the issue but keep him from wetting the bed), or continue with pull-ups. My son made the decision to go with meds about 12 or 13 as it was harder to be “private” on overnight Field trips.
My advice is to discuss this with his pediatrician!!!


Try keeping the room dark at night. Helps the brain realize it’s night time and go into sleep rhythms. Sometimes it just takes time for them to grow out of

He will grow out of it, my mom was 16, I was 15 before we finally did.

He has some kind of fear. Is your home loud and arguing between each other??? Needs some counceling


Go to Dr… My grandson also had issues he was also 12 … Might have to go to a urologist but my grandson took some kind of medicine and had some kind of monitor that would indicate when he needed to go. It worked he’s fine. He does not have autism or any other medical problems. It’s more common than you think.

1 Like

I would be consulting your physician to make sure there’s not medical reason for it. I agree with the stopping fluids 2 hours before bedtime, this is also how I educate incontinent elderly people, or people who urinate a lot at night. If necessary put him in a diaper to save the bed cleaning situation.

1 Like

Ask his doc for a referral to a urologist and ask for a bladder study. It could be he’s having an issue getting signals.
There’s also what’s called tethered cord syndrome that can affect bladder control

I was a chronic bed wetter until my teens. So was my mom and my husband. It passed to my daughter also. Trust me when I say he will grow out of it! It’s no point in stressing and worrying because he can’t help it. I also used to be a very deep sleeper growing up, so It was hard to wake up overnight. Just let him know it’s very common and not to be ashamed. Get depends and a bed protector. As he gets older, he’ll get better with waking up when his body sends those signals.

Punishment and humiliation in these situations rarely bring positive results. Those that suggest these “fixes” haven’t had to deal with it firsthand. There are generally no easy solutions but a combination of treatments. This is difficult for parents as well as the child. The best choice of action is to keep looking for specialists to try and treat this. It affects his life too much to wait to for him to grow out of it. Keep digging online and contacting doctors across the country that specialize specifically in this condition. You must be your child’s advocate and his voice. Don’t quit. Sleeping so deeply he can’t wake up or an immature bladder muscle might be contributing but I’m not a physician. That’s just a guess. You don’t need guesses you need solutions. As a pediatric RN I can say with certainty humiliation and punishment will not work. Being made (as some suggest) to wash his sheets etc… will NOT help his condition and will damage his self esteem. Limiting fluids in the hours before bedtime is definitely something to try. Have you used therapy as a companion to the things you’ve mentioned above? There are several conditions that affect young boys more often than girls and therapy is used in conjunction with other treatments to resolve them. I know this firsthand outside my experience as a nurse. It’s very frustrating for parents to deal with these conditions. From one momma to another believe me when I say I understand completely. Don’t give up and don’t make your son feel “less than.” Let him know you support him and want to work with him to solve it!

1 Like

Get him adult night ‘diapers’. You don’t say what specialists he has seen. If you haven’t already done so, get a referral from his pediatrician to an allergist or for a sleep study in order to have him tested for sleep apnea and get a referral to a urologist.