My 13yo daughter pierced her nose and gave herself and a tattoo with my husband’s ink and a safety pin. I cried for hours; I flipped out. I took her door off her room, her iPhone, and air pods. My husband just said she’s going up and u don’t want her to. 2 years ago I started working before that I was a stay at home mom. I feel like I’m a bad mom cuz I’m not here to see what’s going on. My mother inlaw said now u see what I had to deal with as a single mom, u ended up with a child just ur husband, but at least u have him there to help. I had to find out everything from her 9yo sis, and her friend’s moms and dumping all her stuff in a garbage bag. We have a fishing trip tomorrow and the 4th of July camping trip. Right now, she’s not allowed to leave the house without my husband or i. I told her when I could get her trust back; we will see what u can get back. Cuz, she lied to me for weeks. She had a dot on her nose. She said it’s a blackhead. Which when it should have gone away, I asked if she pierced it. She said no. She had never lied to me before other than small stuff. I told her a year ago that when she turns 16, she could get her belly button pierced and her nose. I’m so pissed and upset. Idk what else to do. Here is a pic of the tattoo she upon herself self it’s on her ankle. She has been going through a lot of stuff these past two years. She started her period, her best friend left her, popular kids at school tell other people not to talk to her cuz no one likes her, the two bf she has had broke up with her. Should I send her to counseling? My husband and I were 16 & 17 when we had her. I don’t want her to go down the same path we did.
Shes 13. She shouldn’t be doing anything like that. You have every reason to be mad and to take her stuff. Shes still just a kid.
She needs in counseling ASAP. She’s crying out for help
Counseling. It sounds like she’s having trouble finding herself and maybe counseling can help her do that or at the very least can give her someone to vent to.
Love her, keep reminding her you there. Make sure she knows WHY you are upset and your fears.
It’s not just her growing up… she needs a counselor/therapist ASAP. She’s acting out and there’s got to be a reason behind it. Get to the root of the issue now so she won’t have even more issues later
I would do some counseling with her and talk to her and if don’t open up do have friend that she is close with maybe she would talk to her and wat is wrong
Oh hell no my mama would’ve whooped me! Giving yourself a tattoo and piercing is terrible and a great way to get infections. You shouldn’t feel bad for making a living. My mom was a single parent and always worked. I knew better than to lash out like that. Hubby doesn’t seem to concerned with her behavior and I wonder why.
Are you sure YOU’RE not the one who needs counseling? Give that girl her damn door back, SHE’S 13 YEARS OLD GIVE HER PRIVACY. You stated the issues she’s having yet you’re making things worse. Yes, she should be punished for the tattoo and piercing but why are you making things worse &blowing things out of proportion. Stop trying to be super mom and lend an ear to your kid and pay more attention.
1- I think your reaction and punishment are fair and justified. Those are big infractions. 2- That being said, totally normal. If she’s trying to fit in with people, rebelling simply because you told her not to, whatever. 3- I don’t think counseling is ever a bad idea for a teenager.
That’s definite rebellion. You should try to get to the cause of the rebellion rather than focusing on what she is doing to rebel (not that you should let that go undisciplined, that just opens the door to further rebellion)
Definitely get that child some help. She’ll be resistant at first and won’t talk but be persistent. You going to work is not the reason; there are deeper issues there.
She will probably develop sepsis now silly girl
Ok. As a mother of a 15 going on 16 yr old girl. I have to build a bridge. It won’t kill her. Let her try. My daughter never asked for piercings. On her 13 bday I offered to take her to her her helix done. I paid. Now she wants her tongue. That I said 16. She wants to be comfortable in her skin and be unique. Rather than tearing her down for It. Find a way to support her but in a safe way. I made her watch YouTube videos of it getting done. Search some after care products and instructions. And she knew what she was in for. I am not one to stop those types of things cause I have tattoos and piercings too. Let her develop her own way.
Sit down talk to get about it all. Yeah lying was hella wrong and that deserves punishment. But as far as defacing her own body. That’s her own.
Build the bond soon so when she decided she wants to experiment more with harsher things. She will have you to turn too without being judged.
Mother of 4, who became a mother at 16. My oldest is nearly the age I was when I had her. I made bad choices but never once let it affect them.
As much as it is something that isnt okay, it needs to be understood that many act out at this age. They do things without thinking it through and even the lying is normal. She doesnt want to get in trouble. She needs to be on punishment, and that should be until further notice. She wouldnt have access to pens, pins, no door, my door would be locked, all of it. Smh…
My parents definitely would have whooped me, but (just my opinion) taking her door away was a bit to far. Kids do need privacy and you take that away by taking their doors. The phone and air pods I completely agree with, as well as not leaving the house without you guys. But the door being taken could create major trust issues in the future with you and her.
The tattoo I would be pissed about, the nose…its not permanent, but the sanitation part is something that needs brought up because its not safe and it’s not sanitary at all!
The grounding is totally acceptable, but the safety risk should be the biggest issue here.
Teenagers do that kind of stuff, but that doesn’t mean you dont have a right to be mad! I’d be upset…you need to sit her down and explain the WHY. If you wouldnt have found out and she got sick because she didnt come to you for an infection, it can be life threatening!
Talk to her. Stick with your punishment, but try to make her understand!
I did the same stuff at her age…and so did all the other kids in my class. It was ‘cool’. Shes just being a kid. 
I can see how you’re upset but it’s not the same thing as cutting and self destructive behavior. Shes trying to Express herself unfortunately shes only 13 but in 5 years she can walk in any salon and do the same stuff legally on her own free will. Choose your battles. Focus on the big stuff.
just be glad shes not doing drugs maybe shes tryin out new trends, see witch ones she likes and relates to, it normals for teenagers to act out and try new things. i do agree she shouldnt have lied though but at the same time, you also have to remember what its like being 13, its a confussing and stressful age for anybody
I will say, when my mom told me i couldnt do something until a certain age, i did it behind her back, because she told me no. I regret doing all of that stupid shit now but back then, i was rebellious and did everything she said i couldnt because i felt grown enough to do it. She is either a crying out for help, or b just being a rebellious teenager. Your not alone trust me!
I did the same thing. It’s a phase.
Counseling for a piercing and tattoo? I think thats overboard. What punishment you already have in place seems like enough. Only problem i see is the lying and honestly, its normal for the age. If she was doing drugs or getting drunk it would be a different story.
I remember when I was around that age, I used a needle and scrapped a “twilight” star on my hand and then added some ink. I was never a troublemaker kid. I was just being a teenager, I guess. There was really no bad intention behind it. My parents didn’t even notice since they were always working. Not sure if this is just a teenage thing, doing things without thinking through. It just depends on what’s she been through. I was not a troubled kid and would’ve been super bummedif my parents would’ve reacted harshly. You would need to assess the situation.
I think being a teenager, that’s pretty standard rebellion. I couldn’t name one person I went to middle school or high school with who at one point or another didn’t try and give themselves a piercing or a stick n poke, myself included. She probably wants to be unique and stand out, for godsake it doesn’t mean to ‘get her into counseling asap’ or that she’s crying out for help by doing that:woman_facepalming:t2:
That’s not the worst thing she could do. HOWEVER, counseling is never a bad option and I don’t think it would hurt. She’s just being a teenager, I don’t think she’s gone off the deep end. She’s not doing drugs or drinking or sneaking out, taking her door away is a bit excessive
While not the right things to do, a lot of teenagers especially girls feel like they don’t have control over anything. This is what can lead to conditions like anorexia or self mutilation. Obviously have a conversation about sanitation and explain that tattoos have to wait until 18 for multiple reasons. But with the piercings maybe it’s a form of self expression or control that y’all need to further explore for her own happiness.
I was a troubled teen myself. And many times my parents reaction just made me more mad. NOT saying anything about you. Just about me. They grounded me, I got even more pissed & rebelled more. Then started lying & sneaking. The unhealed parts of me that I never got help for until 28 years old, costed me more pain bc of my reckless lifestyle & bad choices. Please get her help, but LOVE HER SO HARD MAMA.
The nose piercing isn’t a big deal but I would flip over the tattoo
It’s what kids do. Atleast he isn’t pregnant lol
Definitely needs counseling for her and for your family
You cut her off from the world during a shitty time. Also, you don’t own her body. My mother did the exact thing to me. Don’t be a dick give her phone back at least. Get her some therapy if she wants it. Treating her like this now is only going to make her find better ways to sneak around when she older. If you want to salvage your relationship you might not want to treat her like a prisoner.
You said she is being bullied and has no friends, the last thing she needs is to feel alone. She is dangerously experimenting with her looks. It’s a phase and sadly i seen this shit go on in middle school to. But she does need a friend and a therapist also more education on how dangerous what she did was
- Perfectly justified reactions on your behalf.
- Get to the root of her problem.
- I did plenty of dumb shit at 13 and I regret 100% of it
Good luck mum xx
Sounds like she is having a hard time at school mabe she is doing these things to try to make things better for herself at school. Talk to her about what is going on with school and how you can help make her feel better. Mabe getting new cloths and a makeover. She is changing things about herself that she can control and is most likely trying to make herself more desirable.
When I was 15 and my sister was 13 we pierced our own lips at home. I pierced my bellybutton at home and my septum. I turned out fine. She’s a kid and wants to rebel. Chill a little lol
Sometimes you got to pick your battles,not saying what she did was right but she could of done worse
Teens rebel. I was getting smashed in a park at 13 
sit her down and talk to her.
I wouldn’t care so much about the piercing cause myself and my friends gave each other piercings constantly but older now it’s not the brightest thing to do so I’d give a long boring lecture.
Tattoos, 13, hell no. Nope nope.
She needs to be lectured big time about that and the stupidity of doing that as well.
My sis pierced her tongue, I honestly would keep an eye on her tattoo most likely not very sanitized when she did it. Also when I peirced my belly button it got infected so the same could happen here. Its already done so there isn’t much you can do other than talk to her. Make sure her little friends are encouraging. Sounds more like she is doing everything she can to fit in. Try being there for her more, let her vent etc.
I was doing alot worse at 13… lol
I would take her to get the tattoo fixed she’s going to have it either way may as well be looking good. Not saying you should not punish her you definitely should but if you take her to get it fixed right you might just show her that it’s ok to come to you before doing anything like that again
Lol. Im Sorry for laughing, but that was literally me. I pierced my lips twice (snake bites), with corn cob pokers, when I was 12 years old. I also gave myself a "party dot " tattoo on my hand when I was 13. I was taken to a counselor when I was 13, but only for an assessment, because she determined I was a “normal” teenager dealing with authority the best way I knew how to. It’s been 12 years and I STILL have my piercings, I also have many tattoos, I had a baby at 18, and 2 more after… with my husband, who was my high school sweetheart. I like to think that i turned out to be a pretty ok adult, regardless of my early teenage years
Have y’all considered therapy.
Every teenager goes though many different things and a counselor will allow them to get it all out and how to handel all the emotions and hormones going through themselves.
Most teenagers refuse to discuss these things their parents.
Its not a punishment.
Most adults have a hard time self regulating because they grew up With adults that couldn’t or know how to help Eaither.
I would also consider a compromise.
If she can shape up, build trust, and talk to someone that may be able to help we might reconsider getting that tattoo fixed professionally at 16 for her birthday.
Just because I was doing A lot worse at that age does not mean I want that for my 2 daughters.
I have learned better and I want better for them.
They also have 2 very involved parents and more supervision.
And we will keep it that way until they can show good decision making skills.
The more you push the more they pull. Tell her you like it.
Seems like all go you could use counseling. She should have her own sessions for a private safe space to express herself but you should all talk to someone to work together to get where you need to be as a family unit. Esp since it doesn’t seem like you and your hubby are really on the same page. (Post made it seem like you’re upset and he just brushes it off) this difference could also cause conflict for your daughters behavior. You need to be in the same page so the expectations are clear and you don’t become the “mean” parent.
I was getting shit faced at a park at 13 
Pick your battles . Her wanting a piercing at that age is pretty normal.
I think this is a situation where instead of punishment you need to focus on therapy and healing.
I did the exact thing at the same age. Also pierced and tattooed a few friends. Not the greatest idea, but I didn’t fear consequences at the time. And truthfully, the more you fight it, the worse its going to be. I dont think its worth counseling though. I would think it could make it worse… Seems like she is expressing and trying to figure herself out. Talk with your kid, get on her level, and try to be supportive, educating, and possibly compromising.
I was 14 when my parents let me get my nose pierced and 16 when I got my first tattoo. I mean I think it’s normal. If and when my kids come to me and say they would really like either of those things I’ll gladly let them get it! She shouldn’t have lied to you but you literally don’t have to take all her shit away. It’s gonna make her hide things more. Go talk to her and ask her if she’s ok. Try being supportive and sympathetic. Instead of punishing (I agree with punishment but it seems something else is wrong here) and go talk to her! Open communication should be a must for parents!
Pretty sure it’s something most girls go through or do at that age. Actually at that age these days they are doing much worse. I had someone pierce my belly at 13 and pierced my own nose at 15. Just part of growing up… i was the oldest of 4 kids and I think I turned out pretty decent lol now if she just starts completely rebelling and having sex, etc I would worry. I would have a good talk with her, I don’t think counseling is needed for her being a typical teenage girl.
I wasnt a troubled teen had great parents raised right …but I did same thing…it was nothing you did or have done for her to do this…you cant save her from everything and just bc you think you messed up doesnt mean she will…I was 16 pregnant the dad was 14 …our son is 28 no kids yet …so they dont always follow in our footsteps…dont be so hard on yourself or her…
Not sure this punishment will be effective. The door and phone didn’t pierce her nose for her. Also not a good idea to be so convinced that she’s going the same path as you - punishing her for something you and your husband did as older teens. You don’t want her to feel like you consider HER the wrong path. Sounds like everyone here needs some help. There’s obviously a lot going on for everyone involved and you might want to consider family therapy.
She’s trying to figure out who she is. Stop interfering or these small things will become bigger with regrets. Let her know you don’t approve of her tattooing herself or piercing herself as it’s not safe. Don’t punish her for doing it. She’s already got to live with what she’s done that’s punishment enough.
Counseling probably won’t help. More than likely, they’re just gonna day she’s being a typical teenager and acting out. Just try sitting down and talking to her.
Had someone tried just talking to me instead of sending me to shrinks when I was her age, I wouldn’t have acted out like she has.
She didn’t tell you because you reacted the way you did, and honestly it is her body. When I wanted to do this stuff my parents made me research potential risks, and long term effects of tattoos and if I proved myself capable of making the decision then they would take me to a real shop. Have had my nose pierced since I was 12 never regretted it. Lots of tattoos, my parents were super freedom of expression and let me go through the phases. All black, piercings, tattoos, crazy color hair, and I respect them so much more for always supporting me, and they never made me feel like I ever had to hide anything. Just my personal experience. I was a good child, and adult. Mostly because I never felt the need to rebel against my parents. I see the people I went to school who had super strict parents go insane when they left the nest because they had so much freedom that they never had before, and it hurt them in the long run
She lied cuz she was scared of ur reaction
You have the right to be mad. She went against your wishes. Very disrespectful. I dont care if other people are saying she could have done worse. She shouldnt have done any of that. PERIOD.
She probably lied because she knew you would react that way. She’s going through a lot and all your reaction did was make it worse. LOTS of kids do exactly what she did. If my daughter did it of course I wouldn’t be happy but I also wouldn’t flip out like that. I’d take her out just me and her and talk to her about everything going on, what made her think that was a good idea and just let her know someone still cares even if the other kids in her life are assholes. Maybe switch schools. I wouldn’t let her stay somewhere she’s being bullied like that either…
Sounds like counseling would be a good thing. But also try to remember what you were like at that age… it is generally a difficult time. You need to sit down and have a honest and open conversation with her. Don’t sugar coat things and let her be honest with you without fear of punishment. Good luck… raised 3 by myself (2 girls) I know how frustrating it can be.
Lol just a normal teenager growing up and rebelling against her parents. I did the same thing at her age. Instead of getting angry and punishing her have you tried to have a conversation about how she’s feeling and what she’s going through? Without any judgement or judgy tone?
This is my question, how is yours and hers relationship? Are you guys close? I was/am still very close with step mom (I call her mom, she has raised me since I was 3, 28 now) she always had this perfect balance of parenting and being my person. She knew when i lost my virginity, helped me talk to my dad about getting on birth control, i expressed i wanted a tattoo and piercing when i was 16, but she told me not till i was 18. But because of the relationship i had with her i respected what she said
Some kids do things like that. I think the best thing to do is make her feel comfortable and honest and not feel like she needs to hide things from you.
My oldest didn’t do anything like that but she had a mouthy attitude and could be sneaky. She knew boundries and consequences. I think your problem is, you’re not ok with it and your hubby doesn’t seem concerened and may be somewhat coddling. You both need on the same page. If she sees your both a team and agree on punishments, than she may stop and think, she may not. Set boundries, set compromises, and BOTH you and your husband need to sit her down and talk. Even if she seems like she’s not listening, she is. BUT YOU BOTH need to discuss this FIRST. Become a team. Don’t be demanding, talk it out. Otherwise nothing will work if you’re against each other. Counseling is NEVER a bad idea, but she still needs to know she can trust you to come talk to things about. Counseling may help you as well, different approaches, techniques, etc. Good luck.
How big is that tattoo? The nose I wouldn’t be too mad about because it can close up. If you’re that against the tattoo then make her save up and pay for removal. It will hurt like hell but every action has consequences. I agree with going to counseling. Also she lied because she knew you’d flip out on her. Maybe work on your reactions if you want honesty.
Probably an unpopular opinion but these sound like fairly normal teen things. Rebellion is a part of growing up. The phase from childhood into adulthood. It’s her body, so ultimately her choice.
I would educate her on the risks of these actions. So she knows how dangerous they can be. Maybe sit and talk about what tattoos she could get when she reaches 18.
Tbh I’d be more concerned about alcohol and drugs. And even that, open conversation and education on the risks and how to stay safe are more important than punishment.
And this is why I tell my daughter all the time that she can come to me for anything at all no matter what!
But we’ve already discussed the fact that if she wants her nose pierced we will take her at 13 to get it done! Tattoos not till she’s 16, my daughter is 10 and just started her period a couple of weeks ago!
Sounds like your daughter is crying out for help! Maybe try counseling.
I’ve found that with teenagers, you learn alot about them by getting to know who their friends are.
Spend more time with her alone. This is the age where your guidance will be most important. In order for you to do so… she has to trust you with whatever she is going through.
Seek counseling for the both of you.
I mean it’s her body
Her left right now may seem like ots our of her control. It sounds like she g as a lot going on and this is the only thing she can control. Try sitting down and talking about it all with her. Give her something back as a show of good faith
I was this child if you spaz out it will be worse I had 6 tattoos before age 17 but I didn’t do them myself I snuck n lied to get them… but she’s trying to be her own person and have some control in the only ways she feels she can… talk it out
Find her a counselor. Also maybe try switching schools. She may need a change of pace and an opportunity to make new friends. I know not everyone can afford it, but if you are a family who can afford it, a (small) private school may be beneficial to set her on a different/right path. It looks like her school environment and/or friends could be part of the issue. Your reactions and punishment are just, but too much can push her further away, like I did with my mom. She was far too strict. Make sure to keep an open line of communication with her.
Can i just say, not sure if she is on the app tiktok, but all I am seeing is young girls and boys giving themselves stick poke tattoos and piercing themselves …seems to be a bit if a trend x
Well i did the same i love piercings and tattos my parents wont allow me but when i was 12 i got my belly piercing then 14 nose piercing and the ears eyebrown and lip lol but now at 23 i take all them out i still love them but i get tired
Of course my parents beat my ass lol i wasnt allow to leave the house no phones it was a whole drama but i never did drugs or get pregnat young or go to partys
I love piercings and tattos
I also have 3 tattos that my parents still hate lol
No tattoo parlor is going to fix it. Not until she’s older. Let her live with it. 13 is way too young, though.
Find a counselor for her to talk to, talk to the school about bullying, and talk to her about why doing tattoos and piercings by herself can be dangerous (all sorts of infections and such that can happen outside of a professional setting) It sounds like there is a lot going on for her, especially if she’s feeling isolated by her peers
To me the piercing isn’t that bad… though I think she should of had it professionally done with your consent. My boys told me they wanted their ear pierced when they were about 10ish… We went and got it done together a few weeks later and they haven’t asked for any more lol as for the tattoo, I have MANY that I never should have gotten from age 14-17. You can’t stop it. She’s gonna do whatever she wants. I told my kids they could get a tattoo when they’re older depending on what it is. Tribal and all that I’d be ok with but no names. I think the biggest problem you have is the lying. Maybe she feels that she can’t talk to you?
I wish my 13 year old daughter was just lying like this. My 13 year old has been doing stuff with boys. Its escalated a lot. I know she’s been kissing boys since she was 7-8 years. The parents of these boys thought it was so innocent and cute, but I hated it. I tried to keep all 3 of my older kids in the house because of these neighborhood boys, but they would get out. They were going through a lot, as was I. I finally was getting my life together after an abusive relationship with their father. I feel like this behavior can be quite normal. Its simple retaliation. I suggest not only having individual therapy for her, but also doing therapy with her as well. I was doing that with my daughter after some horrible things went down after I found out there was a possibility she went into the bathroom with a boy at school to do “sex”. The schools investigation was bogus, claimed it didn’t happen because the teachers watch the bathrooms lol as if they can watch them 24/7 these kids are crafty and badly behaved. But anyway I had her in therapy and I was gong to do family therapy (I tried it with the whole family at first, but I think it just needs to be me and her) but then covid happened and we can’t do zoom because her therapist doesn’t do zoom. She does get a phone call from her therapist, but its not very good therapy right now. They are hoping to have their offices open after the 4th of July. But unfortunately a lot of these is part of being that teenager. I suggest not using a school counselor. Maybe even a big brother big sister kind of setting even. Someone for her to look up to. Good luck.
2 boyfriends she had lol she’s 13 girl get yourself together
It don’t matter what you do. She is a teenager. This could just be the calm before the storm. You gotta be open with your child. Not mad at them. Listen to them. Understand them. She is going through a lot becoming a woman. Give her phone back at least if your not letting her leave the house. Otherwise she will retaliate and start sneaking out and doing even more dumb shit. And even become a teenage parent because she’s feeling the need to hide everything from you. He’ll. Just hope she is still a virgin. Be open and listen tho. It’s hArd at her age
I pierced myself when I was her age lol, I did all round my ears. I also gave myself tattoos but without the ink, bit like scarification. It’s just a phase x
Hiya, that was me. I was that kid who did those kinds of body modifications as a kid. Two thoughts. One- is this in any way related to self-harm? Take her to a doctor and talk about the risks involved, about sterilization and sanitation, and see if the doctor thinks anything is going on with her mental health. Two- arrange a visit with a tattoo artist/piercer, and have them talk about their jobs, what it is they do, and what laws and regulations surround their profession… and why. TBH, if you want her to stop modifying her body herself, you’re going to need to have her do chores for money, and sign off on having a professional do it.
I pierced my own nose at 15. Had a secret tattoo done with a safety pin and ink at 16. My mom made it a point not to freak out, and from then on, I was able to come to her with bigger stuff. My head stayed on my shoulders straight and I have had only long term relationships, stable jobs and my first kid at 26. 🤷 She is her own person, you can’t control everything she does. Try to relax, it’s not the end of the world.
Iv got a 15 yr old she is 16 next month she has her belly and nose done and for her birthday she is getting a tattoo ( a type 1 diabetic one) iv told her to never lie if she did there will be a problem. Yes be mad at her but remember she is grownup and think about what u did at that age. Please go to a tattoo shop with her to see what that can do about her tat she has done like Selena said if u do this she might come to u about the next silly thing she does.
Dont be so hard on yourself especially for the fact that there is only so much you can do why you’re at work… with that being said take a breath and relax for a moment. Kids are going to make mistakes, we all have. Our teens are only human trying to figure out their new hormonal emotions… now I’m not gonna put my daughters business out on front st but I’ve had times where I’ve had to take my 14 year olds phone away for her doing things i feel she definitely shouldn’t of been, or ground her for a few weeks. Kids this age are going through so many emotions and If you feel like counseling would be a good idea, see who are around your area and make an appointment… it couldn’t hurt.
The tattoo most likely will only scar a bit but the ink will eventually be gone (been there done that) and also at 13 I got my nose pierced by a friend and found out if I had just asked my mom would have said yes. I don’t think 13 is too horrible of an age for the piercing (specifically the nose) but I did the tattoo thing at her age and it’s not even noticable anymore! Don’t freak out too much it’s kind of just something teens tens to do to feel rebellious and older but it could be worse! Way worse!
Yes DEFINITELY bring her to a therapist and you all should get some family counseling as well.
I personally believe 13 is far too young for both a piercing (other than an ear) and especially too young for a tattoo. I got my first tattoo at 16, with my mother’s approval. I now believe, at 32, that 16 was too young as well. Lying, about anything, is also, of course, wrong and disrespectful. I’m praying for you momma, and your daughter as well.
I got my nose pierced at 11. My mom took me to a shop to get it done. I think the piercing is fine… I don’t agree with the tattoo. But freaking out I think is only going to make her hide more stuff from you to avoid the fight.
Id make her remove the piercing. As far as the tattoo. Theres not much to do. Im sure it looks like shit tho. She’ll regret it
Shes just being a teenager
I pierced myself and gave myself a tattoo and was self harming and everything imaginable at that age. Start with family counseling instead.of punishment.
Oh man, if my kid did that without my permission, I’d whoop dat ass!!!
Yes I suggest counseling for yourself. That’s why she didn’t tell you because of how you’re acting now. I would be upset too but wow you’re a drama queen.
Sounds like she’s wanting attention, even though she went about it the wrong way… She being a kid tryn to fit in… Me I did the smoking and pot, and took volume all it got me was restriction. Back then my dad took the phone away cuz that was my out let… The piercing ok but the tattoo that’s a bit extreme … but question what did she tattoo on herself… And how did she get the ink??? Yes be greatfull shes not pregnant or doing drugs… Love on her and get to the root of why she done it… Just let her know it’s done now she might as well talk about it… And hopefully she can be honest… My dad always told me growing up that if you lye about something you will suffer more punishment then if you tell the truth…
She should stay grounded my kids never did that
I would’ve freaked out too. Not because she did it, but more so how dangerous it is and I’m sure 13 year olds aren’t aware of proper sanitation and infection risks. Those are big deals. Homemade tattoos with dirty needles are breeding grounds for Hepatitis, staff infection, etc. All serious so yeah, big deal!
All these other women brushing it off as no big deal really need to do some research on home piercings and tattoos
I did that at her age. It is very normal these days… the tattoo thing I’d talk to her about the risk of infection. But being this mad is a little extreme to me… I’d let her know that the next time she wants to poke a needle into a body part to talk to you and wait until you can see a professional…
She is growing up! And most definitely trying to find herself… as a mum you need to help guide her and be there as support and comfort… if you start coming down on her hard and punishing her for these things she will resent and rebel against you!
Best of luck to your beautiful Teenage daughter and your family xx
Well done to you candence nicole miller for getting through and out the other side. I agree. Get her professional help or it will get alot worse and the person she will hurt the most will be herself, and you will know you have tried your very best. I have an 18yo stepdaughter…she gave her family hell for years before l came along, and then she gave me hell…l could not believe her parents kept putting their heads in the sand and expected everyone to live with her and her shitty destructive behaviour. This girl is slowly turning her life around. Thanks to some tough love but mostly a counsellor. She did not want to go she fought tooth and nail against it, but 6 months on wow we can see the light at the end the tunnell. So can she…l.wish her parents had got her counselling years ago. Goodluck…Hang in there.
I mean, I gave myself my first tattoo when I was 14 also on my ankle, pierced my own eyebrow when I was 15. I turned out alright I think?
Her mental health is what you should consider first and of course her entitled privacy, give the door back and phone it’s her lifeline she’s obviously hurting a lots, she obviously has no one to talk to regarding you p, her dearest fears, show respect that you think you deserve do not punish her for what she has done talk to her have a conversation with her please talk talk talk.
If you want her to come to you in future with REAL PROBLEMS you should have just told her you were disappointed in her and it’s probably going to get infected.and she likely will regret it someday. Kids don’t come to their parents if they freak out!. You are going to laugh about this when she has kids. As long as your kids are safe and healthy don’t sweat the small stuff.
Have you actually tried to sit down with her and talk about all the why’s and what’s she’s going through? Seems like for one all the bullying she endures could be affecting her mental health. The stuff she is doing seems like attention seeking behaviors