My 14-month-old has started smacking me hard. She doesn’t do it to her dad, but all day long, she’ll do it to me and pull my hair. I’ve been telling her, no, but she doesn’t understand that. I know she’s still a baby, but I don’t want her to do it to other children; she’s never around other children, but with her only being around me all of the time, I want her to know hitting isn’t okay. I tell her no sternly, and she laughs. Or I try and distract her with a toy, but she just laughs and continues to smack. Any suggestions on how to nip this in the bud? TIA!
Following same issues with my 14 month old son
Put her in her room. Take away her toys. Or a smack on the bum!
Time out baby or not that’s not okay and she thinks it is I would start with time outs my niece use to hit until I smacked her hand back and she didn’t like it she doesn’t do it anymore
Pop her hand tell her no dont do that
Walk away and let her sit a minute without you.
Give her a tap on the hand or bottom when she does it.
Smack her hand tell her no and put in time out.
They definitely understand no! My daughyer is 16 months now and she’s known the word no for quite awhile, I guess it depends on how much you use it or not .
Oh and also, DAD NEEDS TO STEP UP!!!
Shes not too young for a 1 minute time out. Make an designated area in the house via a chair or a carpet and put her there for a minute. If she gets up put her back until she stays. Then talk to her about why hitting isnt a good choice. Shell get the message.
Hate to say it but do it back and she will stop.
Tell her to no we do not hit , set her down, and walk away from her. Giving her any sort of attention or reaction is making it seem like a game to her. Let her know that that no one wants to be around a person who hits and acts like that. Shame isn’t a bad thing when used in proper fashion.
Pull her hair not hard just enuf for her to know it hurts n isn’t nice she will get the message fast enuf when she realizes it hurts
pop her hand and say no
Why you and not her dad? Does she see her dad hitting? Kids mimick behavior
Walk away. If she’s continuously doing it then you’re obviously too close to her that she’s able to continue. And it’s just a baby thing. Just redirect. Put her down. Walk out of the room. It’ll eventually stop.
She definitely knows what no means my daughter at that age knew what I meant when I said no don’t give her the attention she wants from it tell her we do not hit and if she refuses to stop take away her favorite toy!
Say no the first time. The next time immediately put her down, stop playing, etc and walk away. Stay out of sight, but where you can keep an eye on her, for a couple minutes then come back. Don’t make a big show of it. Any attention, even negative attention, is attention and that is why she’s doing it. Remove your attention and it will stop. This worked for my son’s biting.
Take charge before she’s starts, Warn her before she snacks you that if she does she will be punished and that you are sad/hurt that she does this. When she’s his you, smack her on the hand or bum & close her in her room to think. Then once she has calmed open the door and give her a big hug and tell her that what she does hurts you and that you love her and you want to be happy and have fun together with no hitting.
Everyone says smack her hand but you dont want her to hit so hit her hand and telling her no is telling her you can do it but she cant which doesnt work I tried this sit her down and then walk away everytime tell her no sternly when doing so
Sounds like my baby. Same age and only small baby. Hold her Arm when she does that and say no… eventually it’ll stop.
She understands no the difference is she feels in control smack he on the hand tell her no and put her time out for a minute
Most likely doing it for attention and kids always are “meaner” to mom because they love them the most lol I would sternly say no it hurts! And eventually she will learn what hurt means because my baby learned when she started telling me her booboos hurt
Smack her back she’ll learn
say no and isolate yourself from her
Hit her back and tell her that’s what happens if she hits. She gets hit back.
Smack her back and dont let her love on you when she cries or she wont learn
It’s a phase they all seem to go through but you still have to correct them and teach them no. Give her a little slap on the hand and sternly tell her no.
Definitely wouldn’t hit a 14 month old or do it back to her. She is a baby beginning to learn about the world, if she sees you hitting her back and pulling her hair what kind of example does that set for your child that sees the world through rose colored glasses. My daughter did the same thing, they are beginning to understand cause and effect. When my daughter would do it, I would simply tell her no that is not nice and walk away from her. She stopped soon after once she saw I wasn’t reacting.
Use a wooden spoon on her butt she will stop then
Smack her on the hand and tell her no. Put her in the corner. Start taking toys away when she does it instead of trying to distract her with one.
What my daughter does to me, I do back. It stopped her from biting, and pulling my hair. We’re on slapping right now
Try turning your back to her. Even walk away. Don’t let her get attention for it. Good luck!
Watch the new Super Nanny.
Don’t entertain it. If she does it say no. If she does it again say no and put her down and walk away. If she cries and follows you pick her up and see if she got the message. If not, lather rinse repeat lol she’ll figure it out eventually.
Also, have you tried maybe working on high fives? Maybe she just wants to smack something, my son LOVED to smack his hands on glass and drum on everything, my daughter is the same.
She at 14 months old should know the word NO, if she continues to hit you, Take her hand in yours and just alittle hard slap her hand. It will not hurt her, but she will learn pretty quickly not to hit you anymore. Best you do it so she learns to stop hitting. Because another child will teach her. To not hit and will push her or hit her back harder.
Children are very smart.
smack her back, not hard enough to hurt her but enough so she understands it doesn’t feel good, also that’s what toddlers do
At 14 months she has no concept of right or wrong. Redirect her attention elsewhere where; hold her hand and tell her no. Doing it back to her won’t serve no purpose.
She slaps you, you slap her
She bites you you bite her. Her dad probably doesn’t let her get away with it. Children need to be disciplined.
You hit you sit … time out for one minute ( one min per age ) keep doing it make it repetitive… it’s easy to learn and it keeps it simple you hit you sit … she will figure it out after her minute take your hand and stroke her cheek or hand and teach gentle touches .
My daughter started biting just me. She doesn’t see anyone biting. Research love bites (hits apply too). I thought my mom was making it up but apparently it’s a thing. They get excited and don’t know how to express it. As far as stopping it I started setting her down away from me and saying that hurts. It’s helped.
If you do It to her she will realize oh that hurts and she won’t do It to you. That’s how I nipped everything in the butt.
The best thing to do is to get her hand right after she does it and stroke your arm or wherever she hit you, and gently tell her be nice to mama, that hurts mama, stuff like that. It takes a couple times, but I guarantee she will stop if you do it every time. Hitting her back wont work. That just causes unnecessary issues later.
When my daughter did something like that to me, I did it back to her with a sour face. She didnt like it. And she stopped it immediately. Didnt have an issue with that specific action again.
What do you mean she doesn’t understand the word no?
I would be firmly telling her no and putting her down or moving yourself away from her until she stops. Trust me she knows the word no
Had a slapping match with my daughter at that age . I smacked her back , a little harder each time in the same spot. She lost , but never hit again. We don’t hit . People who hit get hit back. Good rule of thumb.
I do home child care plus have 4 children of my own. Just stop her. Since you know it’s an issue, be watchful. When she pulls her hand back, just catch her hand and move it down, hold it down lightly if she tries to do it again, look her firmly in the eye and say “no” sternly. Ignore the laughing. Then, walk away / put her down, etc in order to allow her to move on from the behavior. It also shows her that if she hits people, they won’t want to play with her.
Based on her age and the issue, I don’t think a time out or discipline is necessary. Just don’t allow it to happen. If she were 2 or 3, I’d definitely do a time out but she’s still young and is doing it for reasons other than to harm you.
I’m not against physical discipline (on my own children) in certain circumstances, but some of these comments are concerning…
My daughter is 9 months old and smacks the crap out of anyone and everyone. I usually have her play pen put up and in a different room and what I do is if she smacks me of someone else I’ll take her hands, look her in the eye, tell her no that’s bad, and I’ll put her in her play pen in the other room for a minute and I’ll go in there to get her tell her no smack. That’s also done to get her to stop biting me while nursing
Chop her in the throat. She’ll stop.
J/k don’t do that. Pop her back though
With my son we would redirect and i would tell him Hands are for helping not hurting, I don’t believe smacking their hands or doing back to them what they did to you does any good. In fact it can actually have the opposite effect since you are trying to teach them the right from the wrong. My son also does Time In’s not Time Outs, we sit together and he can fuss have his tantrum or whatever but we sit together and we “talk”
Cannot believe some of these replies, i feel for most of your poor children!! Biting, slapping or smaking a baby/child is NOT ok! & will NOT teach them that them things are not ok!! If u lived in the uk u would be jailed an baby/child taken!
My 13 m.o just started doing that about 2 weeks ago. I did the fake cry and he felt bad he hugged me and gave me kisses all over my face and he hasn’t hit since. Lol. I think that he was just trying to play bc he was laughing, but once I started “crying” he knew it wasn’t okay.
Gently grab her hand and say no, then manipulate her hand and pet yourself with her hand and say gentle gentle then release and pet her with your hand saying again gentle gentle. Do this every time and when she pets you repeat gentle and smile. Babys dont know they are causing you pain because they can feel it. But they feel your reaction and feel you pull away and they don’t know why which can just make them more upset. I have done this with my baby cousins growing up and my 4 kids it’s always helped
Do her enough to show it hurts,I had to do my daughter that way,after 2 times she stopped,good luck
When my daughter did this I yanked her hair back and asked if she liked it?
As for the smacking…
I think that depends on each child’s personality as far as outgrowing it. Try time outs and YES at that age they understand the word no.
Please don’t listen to anyone saying to hit your child
Just continue redirection with her. Stop her before she does it if possible and show her nice things to do. Get up and leave when you tell her no if needed.
A 14 month old does not understand what you’re doing if you “smack them back” as others have suggested. To them mommy is just hurting them and they don’t learn anything.
Defiantly do not hit her back. Can’t believe some people would suggest hitting a 14 month old.
Smack her back after she hits you and tell her you dont hit. Then sit her down for time out. Dont to hard just hard enough to sting.
I asked my girl ’ do you want me to do that to you?’ When she says no i said then don’t do it to me. I get down to her level and say ver stern but quite. Tends to get my point across that what happen was not okay to do.
She will grow out of it
First couple of times my grandson did it we popped (more of a tap) his hand and said no we don’t hit people now if he pulls his hand back to hit we just have to say no hitting and he stops before ever hitting
I work in a daycare and have 3 boys of my own. I’ve been so grateful that they aren’t biters, nor fighters with any other kids. But I work with toddlers and by golly they can be MEAN!!! I have 3 little girls who are instigators and another one who retaliates with no hesitation by biting as hard as she can if they pissed her off or burst her happy little bubble. All the boys in my class are sweet and ok, but they can be a handful as well. Redirecting them AWAY from the person who they’re hitting, slapping from the opposite side of the room and a grab on their arm (lightly of course, so they don’t run from you) stare at them into their eyes and say STOP, NO MA’AM/SIR! seems to do the trick. I work with kids that are about 14-24 months old they can comprehend the word no, you cannot allow her to get away with such actions, I also sit my kids in time out (1minute per age) and they hate being excluded from activities. Sometimes they can be overly persistent, just sometimes you have to be MORE persistent than them.
Bust her rear end now. Because she will be out of control when she gets. 14 years old if you don’t act now. I raised. 6 and they are very good adults never been in trouble now they lock you up now when you do that which is. Bull shit
Set her down away from you and pat her hand when you say no
She should understand the word “no”. All of my kids understood it by 10 months at the latest. The fake crying usually stops it though. Most babies feel compassion for you.
When she goes in to hit. Give her a high five. It turns it into a positive.
Teach “gentle hands” say OUCH really loud (more effective than no) and say “use gentle hands” and show physically (using their hand) what you expect for gentle hands. It works well for my 18m old rough and tumble boy
She has to know how it feels, and there are consequences to
Her actions . You have to hit her back or some kid will eventually,
I can’t believe all these people saying to hit the baby…how exactly is that teaching her when you are doing the same thing you dont want done ?? I honestly never had an issue with any of my 3 kids, but I would be consistent and ignore or yell no loudly. Also time out. Shes barely 1, she thinks it’s a game and I’m sure she will grow out of it.
Hold her hands and say no everytime. “No we don’t use our hands to hit”
“How about a hug or high five”
Rinse and repeat.
I notice with my twins if i follow up with something we CAN do that they respond much better then just a no.
It’s a phase, my son did that too! Just be consistent with telling her “no, that’s not okay we don’t hit” and ignore her when she is giving that behavior. When my boy throws a fit I do not give him the attention he wants and it works well with him
Welcome to the club lol
Don’t hit her and then tell her no hitting. That’s stupid. Tell her no in a firm voice. Put her down. And walk away. Ignore her for 1 minute. She doesn’t get to have your company or affection when she hurts you. Then when her “timeout” is over. You come back and redirect.
Then when she’s 2. You start with actual timeouts. Which may involve sitting her somewhere. Putting her in a pack n play that she can’t climb out of. Holding her bedroom door closed with her in the room for 2 minutes (preferably with a video monitor so you can see her). Or holding her in your lap, facing away from you, in a bear hug so she can’t kick or hit, and ignoring her for 2 minutes. All timeouts should be done with a visual timer that has been explained to her and tested in a fun way. And also, a simple short explanation of why she’s in timeout. “Mommy said no hitting now we do timeout”. You set the timer. Put her in timeout. After, give 2nd explanation. “Mommy was sad that you hurt her when you hit, so you sat in timeout. Tell mommy sorry, give hugs, and go play.” But again, that’s starting at 2. She will already know bad behavior leads to isolation. And good behavior should be really celebrated in a big way. If she touches you nicely make a big deal out of it. If you say stop it and she stops hitting, say, yay! Reward good. Isolate bad, and redirect.
When you hit a child that is telling them it’s ok to hit when she starts to hit grab her hand and tell her no hitting, and yes she dose understand no🙂.
Pop that little hand and tell her “no, we don’t hit”. My children were both talking pretty well at 14 months, so they understood when I said no.
When she hits, fold her arms across her chest and tell her no sternly, put her down and walk away. She will probably throw a fit, but every time she hits you do it. Soon she will realize mommy wont hold me if I’m mean. I know shes still little, but repetition is important.
Lol my 15 month old son bites me all the time despite me telling him no ouch etc. At this age they don’t know better…
My son does this to me. He gets so angry and frustrated he stands there screams “RRRR-AHHHHH!” and then attempts to smack me. I grab his hand and hold it so he can’t move it to strike me, then say “No. You don’t hit because you’re mad. Calm down.” Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve tapped his hand, flicked his ear lightly, even done corner time. What works best for him is to just hear no and ask if he wants a hug. Usually he screams again and yells no, moves away from me and refuses the first few attempts. Once he is getting a hug and feels comfortable, he will stop and be happy again. Children just don’t have control over frustration and lash out. Calmer prevails but stern scolding with gentle love.
This is gonna sound really bad, but I tried the timeouts and telling my 2 yr old no when she slapped or pulled my hair, and it didnt work, I asked my familial elders their opinion on it, and the majority was like do it back, so when shed slap me I’d spat her hand hard enough to get a shock out of her like holy shit mom hit back, and when she pulled my hair I did it back to her, and I only had to do it the one time and she ain’t done it since. I still feel bad about it, but it worked, I guess…
*edit to say, my child didnt pull hair ornslap out of anger or anything she just thought it was funny.
At 14 months she might know the word “no” but she still doesn’t have impulse control developed in her brain yet. When my son was around 14 months he went through a hitting phase as well. I overreacted, fake sobbing and all, “owie you hurt mommy” then I’d ask him to kiss it better. It took about a week for him to stop but now he will come up and kiss anyone who hurts themselves or is crying. Yeah I could’ve taken the lazy road and just hit him back like half the people here are suggesting, but now he has seen what empathy looks like, along with learning that hitting people is not ok. If she continues because she likes the reaction, then turn or walk away. Just remember that this is normal and it’s just a phase.
When she hits or pulls your hair, take her hands and pull them away from you. Tell her no firmly then put her down and walk away. She will figure it out. If she crys when you walk away get down to her level and tell her to be nice to mommy. She’s testing her boundaries. And don’t worry. It’s usually always mom who gets this.
Toddlers lack impulse control. Hitting them or reciprocating is counterproductive at best.
Teach gentle hands, redirect, ANYTHING but doing it back to them. How does that teach them not to do it by having it done to them? Where’s the logic in that?
And at 14 months nothing is intentionally malicious. I would implore you to research developmentally appropriate behavior before you start punishing a toddler for doing what toddlers do.
This is a phase! Please do not physically punish ur child. Distilling fear for wrong doing isn’t teaching them it’s wrong it’s making them afraid . I went through this phase recently with my son and still have days. But consistancy is key. I put him in the time out corner ever time and say no hitting. Time out length is how old they are so I continue to put him back in time our for 1 minute then tell him give momma hug and kiss say sorry thwn let him go on his way .
Say OUCH when she smacks you, then pop the back of her hand. She’ll learn what OUCH means and she’ll stop. Only took like two times for my four boys to get it. They all did that at some point.
I tapped my daughter’s hand when she would touch something she wasn’t supposed to touch. It doesn’t have to be hard. Just a little tap to get their attention.
Smack her lil ass back.
I’d smack the top of her hands since shes too small to discipline like time out and such. Considering shes using her hands to to slap u or pull ur hair. It’s easy for them to understand they shouldn’t be doing that with her hands. If she were biting, I’d say pop her mouth and no not hard but hard enough to catch her attention with a stern NO, or NOT NICE, or NO PULLING HAIR, or NO SLAPPING, or DONT HIT MOMMY, DONT PULL MOMMYS HAIR. She needs to know what she did wrong in simple vocabulary.
I pretended one time like I was crying Out a stop to it
I had to do it back. I started off easy and just progressing until she said ow or whatever for hurt. It was like she didn’t know it hurt me till I did it to her.
So you teach to hit nonono
How can people keep saying that hitting her back will not work when there are a million ppl saying the behavior stopped when they used the tactic.
You don’t think kids should be popped…ok. well don’t pop your kid. The end. As for mine, if they hit me they’re catching these hands
Yaaa mines 2 1/2 n still not outta the fricken hitting
Don’t allow her to hit you, don’t give it much attention aside from preventing it, really praise her good behaviour and look for those opportunities where u can praise for being kind and gentle etc.
I read too fast and thought you said 14 year old. I was like you better slap her back into next week! Lmfbo.
I used to cover my kids hand with mine slap my own hand and say no no.
She’s not too young to slap back You don’t have to do it hard but enough to let her know it hurts. She will understand that.
Don’t react, hold her hand firmly and direct her to what she can do with her hands. Teaching her appropriate use and appropriate power. Observe what she is responding to…the sound, the sensory feedback or your reaction and interaction. If it’s the sound find and activity that produces sound such as sitting down both of you slap your legs to a rhythm or a song or to counting. Change what appears negative into a positive and an accomplishment. Bond positively with her.
Put her in timeout if she doent Kirsten the first time just 1 minute and teach her to say sorry and mean it
So a baby hits & we dont like it so hit back? Wtf does that teach? My god its a baby say no move hand redirect