My 14-year-old keeps acting out and I don't know what to do

Am I a bad mom? Our 14 year old keeps acting out, lying and stealing stuff. We have grounded her from her phone multiple times and we keep finding her with it again and again. Anytime she sees friends she lies and always gets caught with phones or vapes which she definitely shouldn’t have. She wanted to have a sleepover and I told her no. Because of the way she has been acting and not listening and we can’t trust her. I told her she needs to earn mine and her dads trust back and she told me that it’s stupid. But I told her no sleepovers or anything till she learns. But apparently it’s stupid and I need to not punish her? I’m at a loss.