My 15 year old found out she was pregnant and she made the decision to keep the baby…but she is terrified to give birth…how can I prepare her for this?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 15-year-old is pregnant: Advice?
I think support and knowledge is the best thing you can give her.
Being a mom is hard but being a young mom is probably harder.
Good luck to her!
What a supportive loving mom
It’s absolutely her choice and show you support that. There’s going to be a lot of hormones on top of her puberty ones. Therapy will help.
as a teen mom (i had my son at 17), thank you for supporting her decision.
is there a YMCA near you? they have birthing classes to kind help coach you when it’s time.
Nothing can prepare you for the pain of labour but maybe some classes, books, videos etc. Lots of support and talks etc
I had my first at 15. (And she is about to turn 15!) Just love her. That’s all you can do. There should be teen moms support groups in your area. Definitely get her into those!!!
Take her to a brithing and parenting class:heart:
Find some prenatal classes for her
Enrollment into early headstart and nurse partnership, first steps, parents as teachers…
First of all I just love how you are supportive! She is lucky to have you there for her through this . Just reassure her that it will be tough but so worth it and that you will be by her side through all of it. You’re an amazing mother to her, good luck with everything momma!
I got pregnant with my 15 year old when I was 16 had him at 17. 32 now and the best advice my mom gave me was that it was hard but so worth it in the end. You just have to be there for her and help her anyway you can and let her know how hard it its but rewarding at the same time. Best wishes to you and your daughter
There’s tons of YT video’s. Also, take her to a Pregnancy Center. They usually have contacts for birthing classes and support groups for young girls. Ensure she asks the Dr’s any questions she may have and reassure her, women have been birthing babies for millenia and then some. She will be ok. And once you see your baby, it’s all worth it.
i feel like pregnancy and the birth is alright beside being sick and getting random pains which i always just layed in warm water until i felt fine. Giving birth was easy i had the epidural and couldn’t feel a thing but the 2 weeks after while i was healing from a second degree tear was hard so i would just help her during that time with the baby and make sure she’s being careful and making sure it doesn’t get infected if she does rip. you’re a great mom for asking for help. Just reassure her that you’ll be there for her every step of the way and help her when needed and she will truly appreciate you and see you as her hero
What the actual oh hell no.
I had my first at 15. All you can do is help her with all the knowledge. Offer birthing class. They have them at most hospitals, books whatever. Just be there for her. Thats all you can do.
I mean, I was in the same boat, except I was 18, and there was nothing that I knew of that could really prepare me, except the knowledge that I was in the hands of medical professionals, and women had been giving birth since the dawn of time, so I knew everything would most likely be fine.
I got pregnant with my first daughter at 16, absolutely nothing could prepare me for birth. But knowledge goes a long way, don’t hide any of the details. Show her love & support!
Join hypnobirthing group!!! Watch hypno births they’re amazing
Make sure baby daddy steps up. If not cut him out of picture. People make mistakes. Get over it people. Age has nothing to do with error in judgement.
As a teen mom check with your local hospitals to see if there are teen birthing classes. That’s what I took
Take her to classes. They probably have them at the hospital she Will be having her baby at. I had my first at 32 and i was scared too lol nothing prepares you for this. I know a woman who had a baby when she was 15 and shes a wonderful mom. She went to college shes independient and her child is taken care of.
Classes, support group for young mothers, go to doc appts with her…
Get her to watch baby story on tlc that’s what I did with two of my pregnancies and it helped
Honestly I don’t think there is anything you can say to someone to prepare them for being a parent just make sure she knows that you are there to help every step of the way and that you love her. And tell her everything will be worth it once she lays her eyes on that baby. Being a mom isn’t easy but it’s worth every second of it.
I was 33 and terrified to give birth, literally woke up with panic attacks every night. It’s going to happen regardless…
Just share your stories with her. Not much you can do to prepare her for child birth besides maybe birthing classes?
5 kids later and I never felt “ready” for birth lol
Watch birthing videos maybe. Talk to.her about your birth experiences or other ladies in the family. But you’ve really done the best thing you can which is support her!
I got pregnant with my oldest at 15 and had him at 16. I prepared myself by reading. I downloaded pregnancy apps and I googled EVERYTHING. I read maturity books too. Having all that knowledge really helped prepare me. I wasn’t scared, I was excited. My son is now 8yo
Women give birth every day, it’s safer today than it was yesterday and it’ll be safer the day she goes in. Just let her know she has your support and the hardest part isn’t birthing them but raising them!
Tbere r meds to help ease kabor…epidural is personal choice I was sooooooo against but amazing when I seen it work…
Definitely find a parenting class If u can … and wow … doesn’t matter If you like it or not the support u give her will not go unnoticed … I don’t care who disagrees your being a good parent in my eyes
Go with her to a birthing class. Make sure she knows what to expect from labor and post partum. No one told me anything when I had my first and it definetly effected my birth experience. Talk about what to expect from labor, pain management options, how long bleeding can last afterwards, the pain afterwards, write out a birth plan. Just be supportive, have a plan, help her pack her hospital bag, and give her lots of encouragement.
This was me at one time! He’s currently now 15! Not sure there’s really a way to prepare her for being a teen mom, it’s not easy but Just be there to love and support her! Family meant everything and still does!
I had my fist at 16. My advice is just support her. Get her into All the classes you can. Birthing classes helped me be more relaxed.
Just be up front with her. Let her know that raising a baby is hard and being a teen mom is even harder but she can totally do it! Let her know that you are there every step of the way and that no question is too dumb to ask! You can start making plans as far as school goes, who will care for the baby and things like that. It’s going to be an emotional roller coaster but it’ll all be worth it in the end! Y’all got this
Make sure she actually understands what “keeping” the baby entales and that she’s doing it for the right reasons. To many kids these days trying to play house. Babies aren’t dolls. Also I hope you prepare yourself to be more of a parent than a grandparent. Other than that, I don’t think anything will take away the fear of birth nor should it. Birth is scary at any age
She will be just fine! In my experience birth was so much easier as a teenager your body is more flexible and less degraded from life itself or chasing after other kids I wish my other 2 were that easy. Nothing wrong with it.
All I’m gonna say is just be there for her. The world will judge her, you let her know you’re there for her and that she’s gonna be great
I was 15 when I had my son who is now 23. I took birthing classes and did it with no epidural. Just make sure she has a great support team. Looking back it was long and emotional time for me. However I was a freaken teenager and had no clue what to expect. Just make sure you are always there to guide and teach her to be there for her baby. If she’s stressed walk away and let someone else deal with the baby. My mom was and is my best friend and I appreciate everything she taught me
Encourage her to attend classes, read everything she can, get good prenatal care and to keep walking. Good luck and my very best wishes to you, too, mom.
Take her to prenatal classes, watch videos with her, take her shopping and just let her know that she has a voice and you’ll support her. It’s always scary, even when you are prepared for it. Yeah, maybe things didn’t go as y’all planned, but life rarely does and all you can do is deal with it. The ‘what if’ is already over and done with. I also hope that anyone judging isn’t pro life, kids sometimes do things even with the best parents. Actually, the majority of the strict parents I know end up with pregnant kids
Make sure she knows you love and support her through this. I became a mom at 15. Try to answer her questions in a calm, constructive manner, and leave the conversation open. Birthing classes may or may not help. I read “What to Expect” cover to cover when I was pregnant with my first. Make sure she has support from peers too. Ask her if she wants the father involved and try to respect her decision. It is hard but it will be ok
Love her, stand by her, and support her.
Just support her and be there. Thank you for supporting her so far. Had my first at 16 only had one ob appointment and one birthing class before he was born. Honestly the nurses were great in guiding and helping through having him. I was terrified of bringing him home from the hospital and messing him up so just keep supporting after baby is here.
When I was pregnant, a local clinic offered parenting classes that showed how to care for a baby. Try looking for a parenting resource center than can refer her somewhere.
Just help her plan and read up on stuff. mayybe join wic. its very imformational. Maybe join her into some parenting classes.
Birth Class, ADVOCATE for herself, strongly recommend pelvic floor therapy (it honestly isn’t talked about enough) and prepare for what’s about to happen - not to scare but teach time management, pain coping (since pain pills are out), sleep schedules, dos and donts etc
Find a great midwife with her. Support support support. No judgement. She will be okay if she feels supported.
Being 15 and pregnant is scary (I got pregnant at 14 and my son at 15) that was 22 years ago now. I raised my son along with 3 more kids before I turned 22. I labor was not the scariest part of it. For me the scariest part was when I got sent home with a tiny human. Just give her love and support and take the baby every now and then so she can get more than 2 hours a sleep in the beginning. I wish I had that kind of support I was a single mom for 11 years.
Everyone on comments, have given such wonderful advice.
Just sending both you and your daughter lots of love and care. It’ll all work out just like it has for generations
Just make sure you go to the birthing classes so she understands what to expect.
Parenting classes! She needs to learn about pregnancy, birth, and care of an infant. She needs to understand child development and the importance of the decisions she makes from here on out. On top of that, maybe some domestic survival classes. Teach her how to balance a check book, make sure she knows how to budget, apply for jobs, etc. I was a young mom and those are all things I wish I had studied beforehand.
I was pregnant and had my first at 15. I knew nothing at all…I’m turning 25 this month and I’ve had 4 kids just about every way you could.
My advice would be give her all the support you can and all the knowledge possible. Epidural caused me back problems but I have scoliosis so that’s something to consider. I had my first 2 completely natural no meds at all it was my third I had the ep with and my 4th was an emergency C-section.
Just let her know she’s got this and you’ve got her back no matter what. Let her know she can fire her Dr. And birth team if she gets uncomfortable with them and request new ones. And she doesn’t have to birth on her back if other positions are comfortable for her. Knowledge is power.
You’ve got this. She’s got this. All the luck and well wishes to both of you .
Tell her to not to listen to the negative Nancy’s!!! I got pregnant at 15 with my first born. She really just needs to know that you’re there for her and that you support her 100% in any decision she makes. If she needs to talk just listen, even if it’s over food while she’s crying trust me I went there lol but it’s different for everyone. Watch video’s have her join a group if there are any for teen moms. Just let her know she’s got a support system and that she can confide in you if she need to.
Girl support, support, and support. It takes a village!
My first baby was at 19. I’m 23 and on my 3rd baby and it seems the more kids you have the less support you receive.
The same way you prepared but with more mention of a baby daddy.
I was 15 year old pregnant back 1992
I was scared poopless
My mom didn’t cut me know breaks I found how scary pregnancy can get it
Be honest I’ll tell you want my ob told me at 15 I just did damage to body that wasn’t truly ready yet
Me being 15 at time laughed it off like he was just trying to scare me
I now know what he meant I’m 46 and had 5 kids
We found out the hard way birth control does not work with me or for me
I got my tubes tied after my last pregnancy and to be honest it what was best for me at that time and I’m blessed not having anymore
But that for me
Just be honest and give her plenty support and remember she a baby herself and she’s going to need guidance but don’t let her walk on you either
Be firm and lay ground rules down and remember she just kid herself
That didn’t think it really through thought it won’t happen to me
But that my thoughts doesn’t make wrong or right
Just hoping maybe that what I said might help
What a loving decision. Way to go mom and grandma.
There are classes to help ask her obgyn
Tell her she will be fine. I was 13 when I had my first. Had to go through emergency c section due to not progressing but I just have some super thick cervix. But she’s got this. I promise
All you can do is talk to her, maybe do some classes and watch some videos so she knows what’s ahead.
I may be the odd man out but I don’t feel like there is truly a way to prepare for labor and delivery or motherhood. I’m about to have my 4th and I’m still a little scared even though I’ve been there and know the pain and process.
Have real conversations with her. Don’t sugar coat it. Being a mom is hard and a lot of work. Tell her you love her no matter what and will support her and help her anyway you can but also tell her you expect her to be a mom and not just throw baby off on you once she realizes how hard and tiring it is. I’m not trying to be rude but I’ve known a lot of teen moms who chose to keep their baby and a few months in couldn’t handle it and their parents was left raising the child…but also give her breaks so she isn’t overwhelmed and missing out on everything. All moms need a break.
You don’t lol 15 or 35, it’s absolutely terrifying regardless. Just load up on information, be as supportive as possible, and take a step back. She decided to have this baby so she is gonna have to learn by doing. She needs to know all about pregnancy and potential complications and how to have a healthy as can be fetus and then she’s gonna need to know that no matter how she thinks it’s gonna be, birth has a way of going sideways at the most inopportune moments. And at 15 I’m guessing the dad is also very young. He may not be ready and might leave it up to her. That’s something she may need to keep in mind. I got mine at 17 and had zero family support. Me and my boyfriend moved in together and it was just the three of us. We made it but one day at a time.
I had my first at 16 and was a sophomore in high school. Child development is a wonderful place to start. Check with the school district for teen pregnancy programs and childcare resources. Get on WIC. OBGYN can assist and well as birthing class information and house calling midwife. Co parenting can work with your support. Also, as child ages check local resources for preschool such as catholic charities. They offer parenting classes, resources and most importantly support for life skills. I believe everything happens for a reason
See this as a blessing. Congratulations!
A fantastic doula is what she needs. What state is she in?
Talk her through it be upfront and honest, it isn’t comfortable birthing but think about the life she has created coming into a world that needs her… because I believe she is meant to be
Just love her and support her & let her know it’s going to be alright! Be there for her every step of the way and after the babies born! I always wanted a baby but said I didn’t know how I was supposed to give birth, I just couldn’t imaging doing it. I ended up having a c section but from what I have experienced and been told you recover way faster with natural births. I’d say get an epidural and try to not think about where it’s about to come out of just Do your best to make it through and know once the babies here everything else will fade away and be so worth it!
Have her watch birthing vlogs on YouTube. Super helpful.
I had my oldest 2 weeks before turning 16. I was also terrified to give birth. I was in an accident resulting in emergency c section.
If I could still give birth- I would! I would do it all natural and at home too! It’s a scary thing, but also so monumental and beautiful I would visit the spiritual side of giving birth with her- so she understand bringing a person into this world fully and how powerful she and her body are! I’d research everything with her she’s going to need your support mom.
My oldest will be 18 this year He drives me crazy, but is also one of my best friends. He was there for all of my growing up unfortunately, but it made our relationship very strong.
I lost my mother in the accident that caused my C-section. I am thinking about the places I needed and missed her most.
She didn’t help me with the though she basically was like that’s what you get for having sex (shaming me). It’s very cool you are so supportive of your child she’s already got a great advantage.
See if they have the nurse family partnership program In your area it’s for first time mom’s pregnancy to child turns 2.
I had my first when I was 17 closer to 18. Just reassure her that you’re her biggest advocate and support system. Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook, so I learned through all the milestones from my pregnancy, to birth, to watching him grow up. He is now 29. His siblings are 23 and 21. I’m now 47.
Don’t let her watch videos of it! She’ll be terrified. There’s nothing much you can do really to prepare her. It’s different for everyone. Good luck to her
My 16 yo is pregnant, snd planning a homebirth…does she need a friend? My daughter will be that
No matter the age you can’t really be prepared the first time. It’s an experience unlike any other. Just support and love her. You will get through it together❤️
Birthing classes. A worker can be helpful with coming in while she’s pregnant and after baby is born to help guide her.
Also fyi every woman is terrified to give birth because we’ve never done it before till we have our first but even after multiple kids I’m sure we’re still terrified.
Hiring a doula, if she’d like, would be so helpful!
No matter the age I think we’re all terrified the first time, tell her it’s normal and maybe set up some of the prenatal classes? They might ease her anxiety
Remind her there are medical professionals and help her get a birth plan in place……
Joyous time - nothing to be scared of……all moms give birth and we’re all just fine
I told mine can’t be that bad people have more than one.
I got pregnant at 16, it wasn’t easy. You can take parenting classes that can help
I had my baby at 15. She is 12 now and amazing. I pretty much did everything blind. Had no idea what to expect. I expected the worst with everyone’s stories and everything but that it was the easiest birth, no issues no pain from contractions. 15 /16 was the best time for my body to give birth haha bounce back and everything. I know everyone’s story isn’t the same but I hope hers is as easy as mine.
Hardest part was trying to be and do adult things while being a child myself.
But that the good lord for my baby girl. I thank God everyday I made the right decision. And I know your daughter will be thankful to. God bless you for helping her momma!!
Tell her during child birth she gonna have to push like she taking number 2 Plus no more sleeping In an wherever u go the baby goes that’s always a interesting discussion birth control? Keep communication open mom will be her best friend start being consistent an make room for baby’s stuff try not to become a horder an take life a day at a time take pics
I had my first at 14. Nothing really prepared me for birth and i was petrified also. But what would really help for her is to have a loving caring support system. Something i really wish i had at that age when i was pregnant. I didnt have my second child until 13 years later.
Birthing and parenting classes for someone of her age would be really helpful
Definitely birth class! Knowledge is so soothing when going into Motherhood.
Birthing plan with her doctor so she can have options and questions answered.
Let her know it’s nothing like the drama Hollywood movies present. If she’s scared of pain, her ob/gyn can discuss her options for pain relief. Doulas are also very helpful in making a birth experience more calm. Staying active and walking/exercising throughout pregnancy can make labor and delivery so much easier. Congrats and hugs to you both!
I had my first at 15. She is now 15 almost 16. It was not easy but it was my biggest blessing! Support her emotionally and mentally. Teach her independence! Support her in every way but make sure she is mothering her own child. Her education is a huge priority to give herself and the baby a great life. She is still your baby but will now be a mother and she should be treated as such. Keep your mind open and communicate with her often. You will help mold her into a mother and adult through it all. Good luck! And congratulations!
Look into the Gentle Birth app and FB Group GentleBirth - Official - USA/Canada. I wish I had it when I delivered my oldest, also at 15.
Remind her that millions of women have birthed before her and she can channel their power to deliver her baby too. Including me… I’m due any day now with my third! My oldest is turning 28.
Also, thank you for being an amazing mom for her.
It helped me to be reminded that it’s a natural process and that just about every woman on the planet has given birth…best of wishes
I was pregnant at 15. I’m glad my mom was there to help me not go through with it. Being a mom is hard. And she’s still a child herself. Of course it’s whatever you guys feel is best I don’t know your situation but I grew up poor and at 15 I wasn’t ready.
I got pregnant at 14, had her at 15 and the best thing I can suggest is birthing classes to teach you how to breathe. I wish I had done that for my first 2. Luckily I didnt have instant access to all the info available now. I probably would’ve freaked out. Just let her know that birth plans rarely ever go as planned and every BIRTH is different!
In all honesty, You cant. Labor takes quick unexpected turns. All u can do is try to support her throughout the journey.
She will be OK. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. Be there for her. My bonus daughter was pregnant at 14 had her son at 15. He will be 13 in December. Sign her up for a birthing class so she can try to be prepared. If she wants maybe look into getting a doula to help with labor and delivery
My daughter was 16 when she got pregnant and I supported her 100% but she had to finish high school and get a diploma. In my area we had a young mothers program so she could take her son to school. I encouraged her to nurse so that was no problem. She went on to college and I was so proud she did not become a statistic. I needed her to learn education was so important and she had me and her dad to fall back on for help. It will work out soon to be Grandma.
A child giving birth to another child doesn’t sit right with me.
just because it happens all the time, doesn’t mean it’s okay. Y’all would be losing your minds if she was any younger, let’s say 10-11.
What would your advice be? Force her to have a baby? Be “supportive”? It’s disturbing.
“What to Expect when You’re Expecting” is a good resource, and let her know she can get an epidural for labor pain. If she’s young, healthy and athletic she should be OK, but there are belly bands that can help while carrying a baby. Be sure she gets a tour of the hospital, great prenatal care, and birthing classes. If they still have in-person classes, it’s a great place to meet people who will have kids your age. Chances are the parents to be will be older than your daughter but that could be a good thing.
Encourage her to do gentle exercise to stay healthy: swimming, Tai Chi, yoga for pregnancy. There’s stuff on DVD, You Tube etc. if you’re not members of a Y, pool, gym or Rec Center. Go for walks with her; if you’re in a cold climate, just bundle up, go mall walking or get a treadmill (thrift stores probably have them cheaper). The more she can keep gently active, the better she’ll feel, the easier the birth, the easier it will be to keep from gaining too much weight and the easier it will be for her body to bounce back.
See if she can do some schoolwork online when she’s tired during the day, when she feels crappy & can only stand to do it in short bursts, or if she’s up at night & napping during the day.
See if there are in person or online teen mom groups she can join to share empathy and info. Ask your librarian about resources, groups and info for teen moms too.
Develop your “village” of people who can help out so you won’t be caring for this child alone. Talk to the father and his parents to work out schedules and responsibilities if they want to be a part of the child’s life. I’m thinking they kids won’t wind up married but the child will yoke you all together for life, so you might as well be pleasant and get along.
Be sure she has some normal high school fun: pizza & slumber parties, movie theater shows, proms and dances, football games, sports with caution or school or after school clubs, and whatever safe things teens are doing these days. After the baby is born she’ll have to give up some of this but don’t make her give it all up or she’ll be resentful and go chasing her lost teen years the rest of her life.
Find stories of teen moms who have gone on to success & college educations for inspiration. Joan Collins was a young mom when she began her acting career, for example. I’m sure there are more contemporary folks that can provide hope and inspiration.
Good luck! Rooting for both of you.