So you have children as slaves in your house?? I’m sorry I don’t care if you work fulltime. Your job as a mother is to provide, cook and maintain a household! It’s funny because not once did you mention anything about your children’s education and that it’s important the focus on homework and studies! and pointed more negatives than positive! Your kids aren’t in the military! They are kids still! Chores yes! Preps them for their own living… dictatorship… no!
This is terrible. Ur kids will hate you. And then good luck with ur abusive husband.
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Ummm he is abusing your child verbal abuse is still abuse! And I’m all for responsibility and chores but they are children not maids. You basically brushing their childhoods aside and saying take this verbal abuse and clean my house because your parents work. Most parents work and most kids have chores but to use your kids as maids meanwhile they are being verbally abused and not being able to have a legit childhood because they need to clean to their abusers ridiculous standards is insane! Their is discipline and there is abuse. They are being abused.
#dobetterbeforeyoulosethem
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As someone who was raised this way, I can say I have very little to do with my parents (dad & stepmom). I speak to them once every couple of months. I also tend to believe that I’m always doing a bad job at everything I do. It makes having any relationships difficult because people tend to think I’m annoying or am “fishing for compliments”. Truth is, I’m incapable of feeling accomplished no matter what I do and I always feel like I’m failing. If that’s not how you want your kids to be, then I would reconsider your parenting techniques.
Wow, this whole story is disturbing on so many levels. If this is true you all need professional help!
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They’re your children not your employees… if you want to have a relationship with them in the future I suggest you start doing what you can to mend it now. As for the daughter who works, the example you have set for them is “since I work someone else should be doing the house work” its rather hypocritical to expect her to do the same amount of chores as the rest who don’t work.
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How about you 2 take care of ur own household. You had children not maids quit being lazy
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Y’all work and don’t do chores so you basically turned your kids into underpaid maids that get verbally abused when they don’t do something the way a parent who does nothing at home wants it. Listen to your daughter and protect her. You’re basically teaching her people can treat her any way they want if she’s not meeting their expectations as long as they provide nice things for her. Y’all want things done a certain way then get up and help since you know your children can’t keep up. Working is not a reason to not help especially if your daughter works too and is still expected to clean up after you
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Doing some chores is normal to teach responsibility & time management but to call them names and basically have them doing all the housework because you provide for them is just bullshit. As parents it is our job to provide for our children! It’s also very important to love them, treat them with love, kindness, decency and respect so that they treat others the same way. (Lead by example!) I’m not a perfect parent, I’ve made mistakes but what you describe in my opinion as parents…y’all should do better & stop treating your kids like that.
Holy hell, just reading this makes me wanna go save your kids so they can BE KIDS!!! They have their entire lives ahead of them to work and be adults, was your husband in the military? Your 15 year has gotten a job, so now she’s working TWO jobs? Nope nope nope, I never judge anyways parenting but this is out of control and you “stay out of it as much as possible”, no momma you need to intervene, sounds like you’re scared as well and that is no way to live!!! Sounds like a lot of mental abuse happening and it’s gonna have a huge impact on them kids!!!
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Y’all some toxic ass parents. I see another farther kills family headline soon
Uhm. Wow.
You treat your children like housekeepers (when chores are fine but it is NOT their duty to maintain a house) buuuuut yeah she’d be better off becoming emancipated so she can live like a normal child instead of a common household slave. Just woe.
I completely agree kids need structure and know how to do things but,ye basically do fuck all around the house and just make your kids do it,u said u cook “some” meals do the kids have to cook every other meal then,sorry I wouldn’t blame ur daughter,my kids have a chore a day eg one is in charge of the keeping the dishes done one will keep the sitting room tidy one will make sure the small bins are taken care of amd we rotate Daily and I feel guilty enough at that,pay someone I ye want that level of work done
And to all of you ppl hollering they not the maids…uh duh! Without chores how they gonna knw how to take care of themselves smh
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When they’re old enough they will leave and never come back. You will be old and lonely. I feel bad for your kids. You’ll REALLY need them one day. Don’t mess it up now.
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So, basically, you had children so they can be yelled at for not being perfect and ridiculed for all their wrongs doings… I pray for these kids… It is supposed to be a home, not boot camp and they are children, not your hired help! Chores are one thing, but this sounds like a toxic environment that ways on the kids psych and to have soooooo much pressure to be perfect. I honestly do not blame her for standing up for herself!
As a mother my children have chores but we share them I cook 90% of the meals and do 80 percent of the cleaning as I work too n their dad works he even cleans n do yard work with them or without them we get angry n yells but we don’t take out anger out on them and verbally abuse them have u ever thought to how tired they are doing chores n school that’s a stress on it’s own calm down breath a little and pitch in more and maybe they’ll help more but it’s really not their job to clean up behind us or siblings
All your doing is pushing your kiddos away. You’re allowing your husband to abuse them. Chores is one thing but making the kids responsible for all the household chores is wrong. I feel sorry for your kids. SMH every one don’t deserve to be parents.
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No wonder your daughter is acting up. I would have told you to fuck off. These are your kids not your housekeepers. And your husband verbally abuses your kids and you’re ok with this? Hire a housekeeper and let kids be kids.
And let me just add you’re married to a narcissist that you let abuse and berate you’re children.
Completely perfect? Smh have you guys looked in the mirror !! Nobody or nothing will be perfect !!
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You and your husband are sad people if your kids are acting out they have every right to… Your both horrible parents.
Also $20 a week to maintain the entire house? Disgusting. Kids earn chore money for CHORES not doing everything the parents should be doing. Your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive and you’re also to blame for allowing it so you can do less.
That is not acceptable, verbal abuse is never acceptable. They will grow up resenting you. If they don’t do a “perfect” job, do it yourself! They are kids, not maids! Chores are healthy to an extent… but not to that.
I agree on chores but I strongly disagree about the verbal abuse.
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Everyone makes mistakes especially children and young adults
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My Kids don’t hate me
They know how to take care of there self
Keep there house
Cook
And
Responsibility
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I really am interested in how this mother feels seeing all these comments disagreeing w her. I guess I don’t understand what she wanted from this post? Is she really going to stop being a slave driver bc we all think she’s abusive?
You guys sound like huge assholes. They are your children not slaves. Hope ya perfect house was worth it ? Cause all those kids are going to grow up and never come back
Wait…you stay out of it when a grown a$$ man yells and calls your kids names?? Where is your motherly instincts. Father or not, its your job as their mother to protect them from any kind of abuse!!!
LET THEM BE KIDS! Sounds like they are in prison and treated as prisoners! I’d be acting out as well. Its 2021 not 1940.
So u expect them to work and clean up to ur standards. But you’re not expected to clean bc you work or cook all the time bc you work? You’re lucky your kids haven’t raised hell up until now. My advise is get ur head outta ur ass.
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- Your children aren’t your servants.
- Your husband is abusive.
- Your children will leave and never come back if you both continue treating your children like that.
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I also required my kids to do chores, however even though I worked fulltime my name was also on that chore list. Also it sounds like your husband is overbearing and expects perfection. To someone like that it will never be good enough. Don’t let the abusive name calling continue or your kids will blame you for it as well. They are still kids and im sure if you hired someone to cook and clean you wouldn’t talk to them like that.
Your husband sounds like a bully and emotionally abusive to the children. You sound like you know it goes too far and are simply either scared or just chose not to step in. Your children do not “fall short” of your husband’s ridiculous expectations. Also, just because you work doesn’t mean you both shouldn’t be helping upkeep the home. Especially when you expect a 15 year old to go to school/work and come home and do chores. You didn’t have children to have maids.
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You guys are so abusive!!! those kids will need therapy… once they turn 18 don’t expect them to see you
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please this is a joke right?
How do u type some shit out like this and be like ‘yea, they’ll be on our side’ 
They aren’t your slaves, do your own chores … It’s a difference from having them help and employing them .
I can’t even with this post
You are abusive lmao. Both of you.
They hated me at 15 though
What the hell??? You, your husband and now your poor poor children all need therapy. Your children are not your personal servants and maids. Get over yourself.
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Your husband IS abusing them and you need to step up. Your children are not responsible for cleaning the entire house and living in a home that is run like the military. Your poor kids. You BOTH failed them as parents. I hope they all move out when they’re of age to do so. Absolutely DISGUSTING behavior on your end as parents.
There is s difference between dicipline and abuse!!!
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I remember when my parents were ridiculously strict. I moved out when I was 17 years old. Haven’t seen or spoken one word to my parents since then and I’m now going to be 31 this year 
They have never even meet my daughter because I don’t want her damaged like me. I understand the urge to teach your kids right vs wrong but you also don’t realize the damage you are causing at the same time being the way your are and parenting this kind of way. I don’t blame your daughter at all for feeling the way she does! 
my eight year old only has to clean her room and put her clothes away but she also knows once I clean to please not trash the house and pick up after herself. Even when she’s done at the table she puts her dishes in the sink without me asking. I don’t put her done when she does something wrong. She knows I’m upset but we talk about why she’s in trouble. I also don’t expect to much of her but she also knows the rules. It’s a hard balance between parent and friend but it’s also not that hard to achieve or keep. I’ve been told I have the most respectable well behaved child. Once kids turn 18 and graduate high school they have a whole hard world to try and navigate (and this country is only getting worse) They need to enjoy this time as kids. Be kids!!! Because life will be rough before they can blink anyways! Your teaching them to grow up WAY to fast in my opinion and they will never come to you as adults because your teaching them everything is wrong in your mind. Hopefully you take what everyone is saying as helpful and not attackful. She’s only 15 there’s still time to repair your relationship. Prayers with you!
If she finds it to be abusive and you guys don’t handle it… I don’t see a lasting relationship with you and your child…
Sometimes we have to take a step beach and realize they are humans.
High expectations are one thing belittling and disrespect are another… probably why she feels abused verbally…
And you do allow it so her feelings are justified and the more you tell her they aren’t the more issues you will have…
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How swell of you to cook “some” meals. WTF is wrong with you???
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Here i corrected it for you
" i let my husband emotionally abuse our children when things are clearly up to my standards i just let him yell to yell and now that its emotionally damaging our children im trying to figure out a way to fix things without actually facing my husband’s faults and taking responsibility for my actions "
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My best friend lived through this. She hates her mother. She also is the worst housekeeper ever. Because she was FORCED to clean and to her mother’s perfect standards, as an adult she literally has panic attacks about washing her own dishes.
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Don’t be surprised if someone calls the people on y’all. Smh 
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Chores are fine.
Responsibility around the house is fine.
Telling your children they havent done a job correctly is fine.
Verbal abuse and name calling from a parent however is not fine. Thats disgraceful.
You are 100% allowing their father to abuse them.
Wow!!! They are your children not your slaves!!! 
I understand it is good for children to have chores but this is next level!! And as for the verbal abuse I suggest your husband shuts up, gets off his backside and does the chores himself if he don’t like the way they are being done. Oh and you both need to learn respect for your children before it’s too late and you loose your children for good!!!
It’s a bit much with your husband and his standers and then calls his own kids name like what is he 7 years old! Your daughter is right your husband mite not hit them but words hurt just as much!!! How about you step up and be a mom and stop your husband treating your children like crap
Omg them poor kids!! I understand structure but your making your children hate you! No one is perfect your basically telling them if they dont do it perfect they will never be good enough, my heart breaks for these kids! Do you or your husband not help with cleaning?! Be an example for your kids and show them your not lazy and clean with them. Damn they are NOT your maids! I’d run away and not look back
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Read your post…you’ll answer your own question 
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Kids need chores and they should be done correctly but what you have explained is verbal abuse. It in some ways is worse than physical.
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Abuse doesn’t have to be physical, it can be verbal and/or emotional. Keep this up and once they’re 18, they are gone. You had those kids, not just your husband. Woman and mom the FUCK UP and PARENT them.
op get back here so i can hit you with a sock full of quarters
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I whole heartedly agree with having kids do chores. However, if y’all are so unhappy with how the kids are doing the chores, maybe you should show them som appreciation, or show them that once in a while you will give them a break by taking over doing the dishes or whatnot. Do you not sometimes find that as an adult, sometimes you get burnt out by others expectations (at work, your partner, etc.) and therefore end up doing subpar work? They’re still kids. You can teach them how the world works without being a dick about it.
Well I mean, if they have to work/school and do chores maybe your husband and yourself should do the same and let them know it’s a joint effort and they aren’t there to be the kids, housekeepers, meal cookers etc.
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Do your own house work and quit making your kids do it for you
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You’re teaching your kids that nothing they do is good enough. That’s not parenting nor good discipline that’s verbal,mental and emotional abuse. Give your kids a childhood they don’t need to recover from as adults.
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I def think you need a different way of approaching their “mistakes” bc telling will not help they need to know it’s okay to make mistakes but if they make them they should try their best to fix them. Calling them names won’t help get that message across
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Me.personally my children have their chores im ocd first and i expect them to keep the house clean but at least once a week I will fully clean our home to get what is not to my expectations i have to yell at times but i never disrespect them doing it. My children have actually started to se my pov fron working all day to coming home cleaning their mess so some days i walk in the house to my standards. They were also comfortable coming to me when i put to much on them. You can not take away their childhood because you refuse to be the parent
I agree with the chores but are you doing them sometimes too? Are you actually showing them? Or if they “fall short” is it straight to screaming. Nothing will ever Be done perfect. The screaming / yelling is not ok
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Shit
You need to Erase this Post
Cause you don’t need none of us in your business…
You your Family don’t have to be like
No Other
If You and Your Husband need change or Guidance
Turn to God and Each other
I see it ending very bad, once they move out they are going to quit talking to u guys
LITERAL DEFINITION OF TOXIC. Chores are fine but no one is perfect and kids will never ever ever be perfect and you CANNOT expect them to be. They’re not servants or maids. How can you expect them to want to do anything if they’re being treated like dogshit? You really think that’s acceptable??? Like what??! You’re enabling his behaviour and saying it’s ok to treat your children like servants. What world are you living in to think this is acceptable? Maybe talk to them like human beings and they’ll want to do better. Treat them how YOU want to be treated. Cmon. Absolutely ridiculous.
This is gross behavior and your kids will absolutely remember their childhood negatively. You sound like you want slaves, not children. Just because you give them things does not mean you can treat them like crap for not living up to your expectations. You are the parents/adults. YOU DO IT YOURSELF! Tf. Your children absolutely should have chores and responsibilities but it sounds like you’re both going too far.
Wow . I BET THE BOYS WILL GROW UP WANTED TO FIGHT THERE DAD From All the Abuse.
WAY OVER BOARD SOUNDS LIKE A DAMM MARINES CAMP TO ME.No love in this family.Life is way to short…
Quite simply;
Yall suck and I hope all of the kids move out as soon as they can so they don’t have to live with yalls abusive behaviors anymore. Don’t be surprised when you don’t have a relationship with any of your kids.
They’re kids, not adults and not prisoners.
Gross. This is straight up abuse. You don’t have children to make them your slaves. This is no type of life for a child. And for him to be verbally abusive and you just sit back and watch. You need your kids taken away. This post disgusts me
Well this post just is very sad poor kiddos, you have to know this isnt right… right? I mean I understand chores but hell this sounds like military crap ease up …thay are not your maids they are your children
It’s good to teach responsibilities however you both are having too high of an expectation on CHILDREN. Not only that but the verbal abuse can effect their mental health and trust towards the both of you. Your children should be enjoying their youth while it lasts because that doesn’t last forever as they grow older. You both seriously need to seek family Theraphy because this is extreme and you’re just ruining their life honestly. Also $80 per month is laughable.
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You need to step up and parent therm as well, if she’s reaching out and telling you that she doesn’t like the way that he’s treating her or talking to her she feels comfortable talking to you and you doing nothing about it is showing her that you don’t have her back she’s 15 if it continues it’s very possible she could either run away or try to do something to hurt herself she’s only a few years away from being adult. I’m all for responsibilities and chores what are you going to do when they move out because you’ve gotten so used to them cleaning your shit… you need to step in and tell him that he needs to not treat them that way and if he does you need to correct it.
This is The Perfect Example
Why Kids make up shot in they Heads
I was abused because I had to do chores and obey my parents
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Did you have kids to do your work? Your the parent. You do it. I get chores but they didn’t sign up for boot camp. Just my opinion. Oh and kids are allowed to have their own opinions and feelings. Don’t let your husband be the one who silents them. They are people not property. They don’t have to and shouldn’t have to do all the work around a house they never asked to be brought into.
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I’m all for kids doing chores but this sounds ridiculous and too much. This is literally what my oldest nephew goes through at his home. I understand working parents too but seriously you guys can act like grown ups and do some stuff around your house too. Don’t just leave it up to the kids.
Kids should learn to clean up after themselves and pitch in with some of the household chores, especially at that age. It’s also great to give them the opportunity to earn and allowance while pitching in. However, it sounds like they are expected to do a lot and that your husband has impossible standards. If that’s the case, he should do the cleaning himself or touch up what isn’t good enough. It sounds like you know he is being unreasonably hard on them, and calling them names is just wrong. Think about what it would be like if your employer treated you this way. You would be looking for a new job. If you want to have a healthy, loving and respectful relationship with your children, you can’t treat them this way
You dont have kids doing chores, you have child labor happening in your home, 80 a month so you and your husband don’t have to do any of your own housework. And they work and go to school too. What are you even doing at this point. bc Its definitely not parenting.
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Op is LUCKY this shit is anonymous
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I dont see anything wrong with letting children know how to clean and giving them previews as to how adulthood is, especially the older ones. With that being said im not sure what kind of world you guys live in but it sounds more like the children are maids/slaves just because you guys don’t feel like cleaning up a mess because you “worked” all day. No child is going to be 100% perfect. And there’s a right and wrong way to point out mistakes. The way you have described all of this sounds like abuse in every which way. And I can promise you once they are able to leave they won’t come back. I was in the very same situation and I left the minute I turned 18 and haven’t been back.
hmmmm its great that you are teaching your kids to do chores etc but they still need a life as well. of course kids ways are not always up to our expectations but making them redo & yelling at them is wrong. i am amazed that both you and your husband dont have to do anything!!! maybe you should try helping them & do the chores together. it sounds more like they are your servants not your children
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Speaking as someone who had this dynamic growing up and worse (reverse the father and mother roles and as a step mom), this really will ruin any relationship you have with your kids. I love my parents, but there is to this day a certain fear that is still there from childhood. I will not tell my father anything and I hated everyone as a child. I felt like a live in maid that could do nothing right. Yes, you pay your kids an allowance. Great. They should have a normal amount of chores. Rotate cleaning duties between all of you. Rotate cooking if you want them to help with that. Yes, you both work. I understand you are probably tired but that’s no reason to shift it all to the children. DO NOT LET HIM CALL THE CHILDREN NAMES! I cannot tell you how immensely that affected my self esteem and sense of self worth as a kid. I still can hear all of the things I was told over and over as an adult.
Side note, my child has development delays and we take him to therapy. He has an issue with messes and things needing to be in very specific orders and will not touch any surface he deems messy. His therapist said he almost seems like he has ocd. When she asked how my cleaning habits were, I told her I clean all the time. I hate a messy house and I feel like I’m doing something awful if my house gets even a tiny bit messy. She helpfully told me that my anxiety around cleaning is why my 4 year old has his anxiety about everything being clean. It rubbed off on him to the point of my child freaking out in a panic if he even saw a mess outside of our house. Also, does your husband ever apologize for the way he talks to his kids, to them? If I loose my cool, when I calm down, I always ask my son if mommy can talk to him and I apologize for the way I said things and what I said. And you know what? He gives me a hug and tells me it’s okay. If he gets mad, he will come to me and apologize of his own free will later. All kids act out when they don’t feel like they are treated fairly or feel unheard or treated wrongly. And yes, yelling like you described and name calling is verbal abuse. It is detrimental to their development. Normal fussing is expected, but not to the degree that a child feels abused.
Your daughter is just as tired as you are after work. Please realize that you should not expect your children to be okay with doing everything everyday that you yourself, won’t do but once in a blue moon.
Teach them responsibility yes, but let them be their age too!
Kids need structure and chores… but they also need to be able to be kids!!! I dont care how much yall work. The kids should be responsible for little things not all the work like it sounds like yall are doing… Let them be responsible for big chores when they are adults.
Let them be kids not maids of your 15yr old started working she definitely is preparing herself to leave and grow up fast it seems to me that your taking up for everything your husband is doing you shouldn’t be asking for advice you should be hearing your kids out and make some changes acting out if you both work full time you’ll must not show them enough attention and if you keep it up they’ll grow strong resentment towards dad and also you for not taking up for them as the mom the nurturer seems to me your both kinda lazy on your rolls as parents and 10-20 what much could they be doing so extreme that they go through being verbally abused everyday ? What does your husband do to you when you do something he doesn’t like? Seems to me you know how your kids feel and is scared yourself
I’m pretty sure you mean well and having chores isn’t a bad thing but you and your husband have to help. You live there too not just your kids. They have enough stress with school as it I and she’s working so that adds on even more stress. My step mom made us clean the house top to bottom every day. If there was something minor that she didn’t like she’d throw all the dishes in the sink, even the ones out the cabinet, and mess the whole house up and make us clean it again. I couldn’t do homework until my chores were done and after that I had to help my brother with his and that left no time to be a child and go outside or play. The way he’s yelling at them is abusive! My dad done that to me. It makes people feel worthless. You’re harming your kids mentally and emotionally.
1st… name calling and belittling is emotional abuse and will traumatize them for the rest of their lives. 2nd…Expecting ur children to be your maids is not ok. If that’s the case pay them 20 dollars an hour. I’m sure you were raised to clean up your own messes. Expecting regular chores yes, unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, maybe vacuum. Don’t they go to school? That in itself is a full time job, just like u and him have. Teach them responsibility but let them enjoy child hood dang.
This just makes me sad. Chores are not the same as keeping up the entire house. If you and your husband only have to work, cook “some” meals, and laundry, then something seems off. Name calling is abusive as well. One way to CRUSH me is to call me names and make me feel you are disappointed in me. Nothing is perfect and if you want it done so perfectly do it yourself.
You want your cleaning done to your own/ high standards, then either do it yourselves or hire a proper cleaner🙄 I’m all for kids doing things to earn pocket money etc etc,however it sounds like your kids are your personal slaves🤷♀️ And yes your allowing your partner to verbally and mentally abuse your own kids!!! Bones etc heal, mental/verbal abuse stays with someone longer😡 get a grip on things before it’s too late…. And I say this as a single parent to 5, who’s all grown up to be independent in all ways but still being kids😁
As you know everyone has their own perception of reality.
It sounds like your daughter does not respond well to the communication that is given.
Perfect is NOT obtainable. There is nothing wrong with having high standards. However, your children are not you or your husband.
Let them be themselves, let them be free to make their own way. You are raising productive people into society.
If your communication is broken now. You are forcing your children to seek refuge elsewhere.
As a result you may not be able to recover the connection.
I wish you well. I hope you can take the positive from the comments and leave the negative.
I agree chores are important but jeeze.
You get them to do everything AND you think it’s ok for their father to name call and yell if isn’t done “perfectly”.
I’d bet money the only reason they haven’t all said something before is because they are afraid to.
You need to take some of these chores from your kids, your their parent. It isnt their responsibility to keep your house in order.
At 15 your teen is telling you it’s too much. Try listening OR go back and re read your own post to see how blind you are to it.
My suggestion is to get into family therapy and let them talk with no fear of repercussion.
This sounds like pure hell to me. I would leave at 18 and probably never go back. He’s a p.o.s. and you are not much better in my opinion. There are better ways of teaching responsibility than being a bully to your own children.
What the??..
If the counter isn’t wiped how you want it they vet punished??? Yall sound like my aunt.
She was just like that and guess what happened? I was made to do ALL the chores and never aloud to go out. I got so depressed I started self harming and acting out.
So yeah, while you think you’re doing good (and yes chores do help teach children)
You’re definitely pushing it.
Like everyone is saying there’s a difference between discipline and abuse!!!
Having them do chores is one thing. Making them do all the cleaning while you sit on your high horse and expect perfection while not lifting a hand, and then verbally abusing them what the actual hell. Your there mother your suppose to have there best interest at heart before your husbands. Your kids are going to grow up with real issues especially with trusting you both.
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There is nothing wrong with your children having chores and responsibility, but berating them for not being perfect is wrong, cause you are far from perfect. Calling them names and verbally abusing them is wrong. When something is not done to his standards but you think it is just fine, then you and your husband need to talk. You both need to hold them to the same expectations, but realize they are your kids not your servants. As far as the 15 yr old, you work and don’t clean, why should she. What you have taught your children is if you work you don’t have to take responsibility and do chores around the house. Part of Adulting is working full time and tending to the family, cooking cleaning, yard work, not coming home and sitting on your ass being lazy yourselves. Maybe, just maybe if they saw you put forth an effort they would be a little more willing, do chores with them, teach them no matter the age, you should never stop learning and neither should they. I am going to assume you expect the same chores year round? even when going to school. School is no different from working they get up every morning go to school, BUT they come home with home work every or at least many days? You said it yourself and you know in your heart your husband is abusive, he takes his angry out on them, VERBAL DOES 10 X THE DAMAGE AS PHYSICAL. The bruises heal the broke heart, spirit, self esteem does not. From someone who has been through both and knows just saying. Think before you say it. Never say it in anger, because you can not take words back.
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Structure and discipline is one thing but then there’s this. There shld in no way be any talk with belittling these kids. Yea its an age where they know everything and are becoming independent. You want to raise decent human beings not perfectionists and scrutinized when in fact they may be doing their best but don’t feel as such because of the choice words your husband uses. If you feel this way amd have to ask then yes you shld have a conversation with your husband of the way he speaks to them. If it 80 bucks a month for regular chores then stop giving her an allowance till she does do chores. But don’t breathe down her back and talk shitty if she didn’t to them to exact standards of your husband’s. No one is perfect and nothing will be done to your person perfection its fucking dillusional. Amd all of you can do chores together. Don’t expect them kids to do all thats shit.
verbal abuse is wrong for any reason 
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whoop that ass. sike let her go see rangers who don’t have all that. the uneasiness is astounding!! tell thank you later though.
Wowww… poor babies. You post this as a problem with your daughter but not your husband… or yourself 
The verbal and mental abuse is disgusting. I hope you see that your children are children and not your housekeepers.
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Your husband is abusive and your an enabler. Sort it out now before your kids grow up and cut you off(as they should). Yes they should contribute to the cleanliness of the home but they are not your slaves. Don’t justify it by saying you do what parents are supposed to do either.
Your treating them badly, take accountability and change it. It must have taken a lot for your child to confront you both. Your expectations are well beyond necessary so it’s no surprise if they start acting out. If I clean something to the best of my ability and you made me redo it, I’d honestly mess it up and make you do it yourself
Lisa Thompson Sonny Zink
Well if you’re just standing there doing nothing while you’re husband/drill Sargent is yelling at them and calling them names, than your 15 year old is not wrong when she says you let him abuse them. If I were your kids I’d get a lawyer and ask to be emancipated. There is nothing wrong with your children having chores but when you guys sit around while your kids play Cinderella… That’s not right. You’re running a children’s sweat shop, not a loving home.