Hi, my daughter (16) has been sneaking out to see 2 boys almost every night. She thinks i don’t know even though i do, i’ve also done a bit of research/stalking and it turns out she has been HOOKING UP with BOTH of these boys. i don’t know what to do, i don’t know if i should confront her but i also don’t know what to say.
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Just catch her in the act and take it from there
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If your area has a curfew, call the cops to bring her home. This no time to be unsure of what to say, she will end up pregnant or trafficked.
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Talk to her. Birth control.
Get her on birth control ASAP!
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It’s just so dangerous. They do not always understand the dangers out there. Best is to first Do some changes so that she won’t be able to slip out of the house. Then have a calm and relaxing talk with her.
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God gave you her, to love, to teach. You are her Mom, her protector, her adviser, her confidant. Talk to her about morals, consequences etc. Guide her in the right direction.
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Wait up for her in the dark then challenge her
Take her phone away. Then she can’t plan
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Srop trying to be her friend be a parent.
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There is so much more to talk to her about than just birth control…it’s a scary world we live in now. Just because she thinks she knows these boys doesn’t mean she is safe with them. How many missing young women were last seen with people they thought they knew.? I
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Talk to her, ensure she’s being safe about it and preventing risk of not only pregnancy, but also STD’s/STI’s. Locking the doors/windows is just going to make her sneakier and it’s going to cause a rift in your relationship, she’s at an age where this is common, exploration begins, but she needs to be careful and to know while you can actively tell her you’re not agreeing with the decision, making sure she does so safely.
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Be the mom and stop being her friend!
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I would definitely talk to her about birth control AND the importance of being open with you so she can be safe. Also have a talk with her about hooking up with both boys and let her know she can talk to you if she feels pressured or anything. 
She’s gonna do what she’s gonna do to a point so THE SAFEST BET IS FOR YOU TO OPEN A SAFE DIALOGUE.
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Maybe just assure her that your gana always be there for her not to judge her punish her for being honest . Let her know you where a kid before and you understand . Also share news articles with her about girls who are missing in the area or state and educate her on how important it is for you to know where she is at all times because things dnt always go as planned . & hopefully she can start opening up and trusting you with things
also try telling her a story luke when I was your age I snuck out once and I got caught and even if it’s made up maybe she might think "oh maybe my mom knows and stop sneaking out "
Good luck
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You don’t know what to do ? Sounds like you want to be a grandma. Will you know what to do then ?
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Do a girls night with her and some older females she trusts, like family or close friends, and have a talk about all that stuff while doing nails, watching movies or something you guys would enjoy. My mom and aunts taught me this way, and it’s more relaxed instead of embarrassing.
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Talk to her about birth control and tell her if its not on its no go. Just talk communication is best.
put motion sensors on the windows and doors, to prevent her from leaving without you being notified or setting off an alarm. but in the mean time, to let her know you know, stick a pack of condoms in her purse with a note that says “don’t bring home no grandbabies”. that way she’s aware you know what she’s doing, and she can be safe if she continues doing it
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At this point play. Parenthood and birth control. Not saying approve she young for sexual activities but teach her safety. Kids sneak around as adults we seem to forget when we were teens and the things we did behind our parents back. Best safe then her becoming a mother at a young age
I think she needs a wake up call because who she thinks she is sneaking out your house … lock everything next time and wait for her to come home and then when she dies it’s time for a serious conversation
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You are her mom, and it is time for you to say something before something happens, and always check her phone and social media. Even if it’s taking her phone away
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Take her to PICK UP lunch, just the two of you, and go park somewhere and give her a safe space to open up to you. Maybe start by saying hey sweetie, I want to start off by saying I’m not mad at you by any means, but I do know that you have been leaving at night sometimes. Can we talk about it? If you don’t give her a safe space then she will be more careful about being secretive, coming from a parent of 3 who was once the rebel child. Talk about birth control, talk about meeting the boys, talk about how important it is to love yourself. You can’t force her to change without her turning around and despising you. Be a friend but at the same time, still be her momma. Good luck and all good vibes your way🫶🏽
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You are her mother and at this age she needs you the most when it comes to guidance on how to be a good woman and not end up like most females these days or end up pregnant and no help raising the child from the boys. That should be a main concern for you. The next should be if she’s safe with those boys and why she’s hooking up with both of them???.. Either way her safety should be your biggest priority in this situation. And she may be offended u know more than she wants u too cause that’s how teenagers are, but as her mother that is your job and main focus and she must understand that.
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Taken some action…and soon.
Get her on birth control for one. Two I wish you good luck.
Although a worrying one as it’s your daughter and she’s obviously still so young but treat her with kindness and respect because if you clamp down on it it’s likely she’ll be more inclined to sneak around or not tell you things… try and find a level ground like for example you can go out later if… you tell me where you are, you’re back at this time etc? Don’t embarrass her but have that chat adult to mini adult just say that it’s your life and your choices but I’d like there to come a time where you feel comfortable to tell me what’s going on… express the importance of being safe at night, with partners, potential conflict between 2 different boys, what other teenage girls might think of her if things go south and one of the boys causes trouble etc good luck xx
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Confront her before she ends up pregnant not knowing who the dad is.
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Lock the doors and windows does she know about the birds and the bee’s definitely talk to her
I would talk to her about what and why she is doing it. Don’t come down to hard on her, this will just make her more sneaky, and hide things in the future from you.
Inform her of the dangers etc.
I would also wait for the next time, climb into her bed and wait for her to return (nothing like the surprise of Mum sleeping in your bed on return).
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Make your house a safe space. Shes gonna go and hook up with boys so you may aswell atleast make sure shes SAFE and isnt gonna get hurt or taken advantage of by sneaking out.
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Obviously make sure she’s using protection.
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Punish the sneaking out if you must, but do not shame her for her sexual choices or I guarantee you will lose her trust completely. She needs to make these mistakes herself to learn from them. Atleast if she knows you’re not gonna judge her, she’ll be able to turn to you if it blows up in her face.
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Best thing to do is talk to her but be supportive and get her on birth control and make sure she has protection. Shes going to continue to sneak out with or without your support so just make sure shes safe. Last thing you want her to do is run away because you cracked down too hard.
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Get a dog. A guard dog… 
Take her to see “The Sound of Freedom” and maybe several documentaries on human trafficking… it might scar her into being wiser about her choices.
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She’s at that age unfortunately. Talk to her and let her know that she can’t be sneaking out. Give her a curfew to be home by. And meet every kid that she goes out with. Birth control is a must. Hang in there Mom
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Get her on the depo injection asap and make sure your with her to see she defo has it!! That’s the first place to begin!! Once your sure she’s protected you’ve time to work on the rest!!
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Put up some cameras tell her someone tried breaking in so cameras need to be put up she might reconsider sneaking out and getting busted
Have a good conversation with her about pregnancy and protection and also birth control. You can’t really stop her, shes at that age. Just make sure you have a good talk to open her eyes about the consequences. Theres girls younger who are having segs so yeah
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Shes at that age where she’s going to want to hang out with boys. Don’t allow her to sneak out. She should be coming to you to ask if she can go out, and in that conversation you’d set the rules and boundaries. You can’t do nothing and you can’t lock her up. You need to find a Safe, reasonable way to handle this and you need to know where your daughter is.
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Not going to lie I use to meet boys at 16 year old… and this was behind my mums back! It was only 11 year ago I was 16!
It is very dangerous, luckily I was a lucky one and nothing happened to me! I literally was only meeting them to walk round town with:joy:
I wasn’t alone when I was meeting them I was with friends though!
She’s 16, she’s going to want to explore a lot more now, all you could do is speak to her about how dangerous it is (in all honestly I don’t think she will listen she’s a 16 year old girl) speak to her about protection etc! Also the diseases people can carry as this is something no one actually speaks about!!! When they can be dangerous!
She 16 years old this is not the time to be passive! Shut this down and quick
She should not be hooking up with two boys that’s not cute
Set some boundaries and get her on birth control!
She needs to respect y’all home and not be sneaking out you are the adult here
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Take her phone away. She can not communicate with those boys if she has nothing to communicate on.
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Lock the door so she can’t get in and has to call you to let her in. Just tell her, we’ll talk later. That will provide an opening for you to confront her when both of you are calm and rested.
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Are you serious!!?? How about you do some parenting?
You can’t stop her from having sex, but you can talk to her about protection. She will make her own decision from there
Tell her about the birds and the bees not forgetting the pain of childbirth and how her life will change post baby
Watch the movie SOUND OF FREEDOM. It will make you realize a lot and you won’t let your kids out of your sight no matter their age. I have a 15yr old and trust me she is in bed every night by 10pm all summer long and all school year. I check her phone when I want to. We live in a cruel world and it is just too dangerous out there. My 15yr old still has a life and friends but I make sure I know them and where she is 100%.
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Talk to her about why she is seeking out attention in such an unhealthy way. If she’s hooking up with both neither of them value her she’s just a toy. Take her to a clinic for a health check. I’m guessing she thinks she knows it all already but arrange with a health worker to give her a more graphic std class and mental health session as I said she’s doing it for a reason. And finally lock her in at night not her room as that will only make her feel more alone but the house unless you want to be raising unwanted babies. Most importantly it’s time to buckle down and give her your time and attention so no matter how angry/disappointed you are in her she needs your love and support right now. What you do or don’t do right at this moment will have a huge impact on her adult life.stay strong and best of luck to you guys.
Ps i personally would be getting in contact with the boy’s family this behaviour can have a major impact on their lives and everything I’ve said to do for her should be done for them and as a mother of a 17 year old boy I would want to know.
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Depending on the boys age (for example if they’re 18) you could press charges, the state could also press charges if its brought to their attention. Thats a dangerous path shes going down, what you allow will continue to escalate to worse things than her being sexually active at too young an age.
Make sure she’s on birth control but also being careful! You won’t stop her she’s 16 so technically legal I wouldn’t badger her it’ll make her go against you and I’m sure you don’t want that 
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My mom always said if a kid wants to do something they will find a way and it’s true. I definitely wouldn’t take her phone either. It’ll just make it worse for you guys. Have a calm talk and get her on birth control asap
LWTF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO? Jesus take the wheel here.
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“Catch” her in the act of sneaking out. Ask her who she’s meeting with, give her the opportunity to tell you the truth. If she doesn’t, let her know that you already know the truth and this is serious and requires a talk. Let her know the dangers of having multiple sex partners and then schedule an appointment to get her on birth control. Technically you can’t STOP her, but you CAN help her be smart and practice safe sex.
I tell my kids about STDs. Make them listen to 90s songs about AIDS. Make them babysit and tell them about my mom and dad being parents at 16 and 18 and grandparents are 35 and 37. Pointing out the ones who clearly messed up. Scare her.
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I’d talk to her and ask if she needs birth controll to be on the safe side
I’d be leaving graphic std books laying around
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Unfortunately she’s at that age where if she wants to do something then she will find a way no matter how much you try to prevent it, my advice would be to speak to her about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases and the chance of pregnancy and make sure that she is partaking in safe sex, I’d also sit down and speak with her to make sure the sex is consensual and she isn’t being forced or coerced into it.
But on a serious note. I was the same way when I was 16 well 15 and I ended up pregnant. I’m 23 now got two kids. You can message me if you wanna!
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It usually stems back to the parents… so be a parent. Not a friend.
Definitely talk with her! At least try that route. Inform her on STDs, (2 boys- that’s a lot of bacteria) I would get her on birth control, condoms- make sure she knows how to use them and how important protecting herself is. If she cares about her peers opinions- she’s going to be called all kinds of names, what her behavior is doing to herself/ reputation. I don’t know what rules you have, but I would definitely have consequences if she sneaks out again. If you know who the boys are see if their parents know what their doing. If they’re adults I’d get police involved.
I know teen years can be tough, i had a shit mother and hard teen years- moved out at 15. I now have a 15 year old daughter and I keep open communication about everything with her. I’m very lucky to have a great relationship with her and she doesn’t act out which I’m so thankful for!
Good luck! Girls can be tough…
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Confront.
Contraception asap
Supply of condoms asap
Renovation of the house, barred windows, better still safety locks that you have key, windows can be opened 10cm only, deadlock doors, your keys only .
Discuss safety issues , but at 16 were all infallible
I’ll give her my son with severe ADHD and I guarantee you she will never want to see another boy again 
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WHY ARE TODAYS PARENTS RULED BY THESE MINORS THEY PRODUCED? It’s your roof, your home, YOUR RULES and bring back the iron fists! Stop it with the Meek, “I don’t know what to do to control my own child” bullshit! Parents are weak as hell today and completely setting society up for ultimate doom with these entitled, disrespectful, “do what they want” assholes!
Confront her shut it down
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Walk in confront all 3, yank her out , take her home and explain the rules clearly , starting with , ( as long as you are in my house, my rules) your 16 and still in school, and you will conduct yourself with respect accordingly, remind her that she does have a reputation to uphold, and at 16 she is old enough to work and make money , SO i will make you a deal, , if you keeps grades up ( all straight A’s ) and stay an honor roll student , and I won’t crucify you …DEAL? A great deal I made with my daughter at that age…she actually had a Jr. College graduation before her high school graduation, then went on to graduate college…good luck mom, be strong…make her the deal… also get her on birth control tomorrow
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If you don’t want a grand baby to raise you better be speaking up. She not just sneaking to see them at that age explain to her being a teen mom is a lot of responsibility.
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Speaking for myself. When I was 16 I was sneaking out to hang out with friends and to hook up with my boyfriend. If you would have taken my phone I would have found another way to keep contact with them. If you would have locked me out then I wouldn’t come back home until you let me back in.
Without knowing the full situation I would be cautious. I eventually met a guy that was older and lived alone and coming back home didn’t matter. My parents rode my ass so I didn’t come back.
There was no guidance, no talk about how to be a woman and conduct myself as such, none of the dangers of doing this, the consequences that could follow. Once they started cracking down I left, dropped out of high school, and didn’t look back for a while. I eventually led myself to not having a home and sleeping in my car in my dads driveway since he wouldn’t let me in the house.
Sometimes being tough will mean your daughter will be upset, she may “hate” you for a time period, she may drop everything in her life for a boy. Just know whatever you decide just prepare yourself for the reactions of your consequences. Stick to your guns if you want to be tough on her and if you don’t be a mom friend. I wish I would have had the mom/dad friend relationship at that age instead of the controlling/overbearing relationship. I didn’t talk to my mom for 4 years after, and it took me about 10 years to start talking to my dad again. I was very resentful of the whole time period in my life. But I grew up and I love them both, just took a while.
This is my experience and your daughter isn’t me so do what you feel is best for how your child is and how you want the relationship to progress.
After talking about birds bees… lock doors so she can’t get back in
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If I gave you a reason to doubt me, I’m sorry. I love you too much to not talk to you. I know you have been sneaking out to see those boys. That being said, If I wanted to stop you I would’ve. I want you to make decisions that are well thought of. As a mom, it’s my job to give you tools and shine light on situations that you may run into. I never want you to grow up & believe your mom never guided you or helped you figure life out. I want you to know that I will take you to any appointment to keep you safe and make sure you have everything you need. I also want to be here when your heart breaks. It’s not a matter of if, but when. I want to be the first phone call when you’re scared, worried, or hurt. Please know that I’m here. I’ve been there, and I am here for you no matter what. I love you unconditionally no matter what.
Confront her. Remind her she needs to be SAFE above anything else.
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My kids aren’t there yet, but it’s so scary in the world we live in today! I pray you come to a peaceful resolution 
Just sit down & talk to her calmly. Make sure she is always being safe & respected.
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Talk to her. Set boundaries and there needs to be consequences. If she isn’t on birth control, she needs to be.
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Open your door to these boys one at a time , get to meet them , start a dialogue , let your daughter know you have her back , and if she wants to meet with boys bring them home , but while you are there.
I never had a sneaking out issue but my mom did. I think what her mom did was pretty brilliant. She waited until my mom snuck out, then locked the door and left a note that said “I know you have been sneaking out, and I think we need to have a conversation. The door is locked, you have to knock to be let in.”
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Tell her she is playing adult games and there will be adult consequences. Get her on bc immediately and lock her windows or doors shut. She may hate you for a while - but that means you’re doing something right. You only have a little bit more time left with her before you have zero say. She will thank you later trust me. Get her as far away from the boys and boy scene as you can. Get her busy and something. Her life needs to be changed up now before it’s too late.
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Confront her, let her know you care let her know you’re worried let her know what can happen
Unfortunately she’s at that age. Mine started doing it at 14 and we freaked out which I believe now in hindsight was not the right course of action. I would sit her down and let her know you know and talk about safety both physically and sexually. I pray she is being safe. Also make sure she is being respected. I would also get her in to a counselor. Best thing I ever did for my daughter. Hang in there Mama this too shall pass!
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Maybe she does not understand that she has choices, maybe she does not know that she can say no at anytime, teach her how to say no, maybe she just needs guidance to understand that she is putting herself in danger, maybe she is getting peer pressure and needs to understand how to handle that. Maybe she feels alone and needs that support so she knows that she is not alone. Just some suggestions and yes I would confront her so you can help her with whatever she needs to point her in the right direction. Good luck!
Unfortunately I have been going through the same thing with my daughter she turns 16 in March I made her get on birth control whether she was participating in activities or just hang in with boys I felt safe knowing I would not become a grandma with her rebelling we are about 8 months in she is doing a little bit better I felt she didn’t want to tell me what she was doing once I found out I knew boundaries were set and she was giving her limits just to remind them to be safe teenage is hard we all were one
Get her on birth control as soon as possible!
Confront her but calmly and talk about consequences of her choices and don’t go into a story about when u were her age cuz that’ll be a point of her tuning you out & times are so different now
You are her Mother! Of course you confront her! Are you really asking this?
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Oof, Confront her. If she’s not on birth control she needs to start, and make sure she understands all the ins and outs of s*x. It ain’t just harmless fun and she needs to understand that. As for the sneaking out I’d figure out how she’s doing it and go from there. I’d catch her in the act.
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Not to mention the emotional side of things. This is your body, they need to love you entirely, body and soul, what is the long term goal? Does she even like these boys? Is word getting around that she’s easy and there’s others? Has something happened that she’s seeking this kind of attention? Adult decisions have adult consequences. It only takes one horrible thing to happen to ruin your whole life.
Lock the door/ window and don’t let her in. Tough love for a night will let her know you are aware of the shenanigans then sit down and have a hard conversation. You 2 have some issues to work through.
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An alarm system where you don’t give her the code would maybe deter her from sneaking out. Maybe if she knew that you knew she’d stop? If she’s not on birth control it might be a good idea to get her on some to potentially avoid an unexpected pregnancy. Talk to her about how unsafe it is & the risks involved.
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First of all…How old is she. Ask her and she if she lie. If she lie then confront her more. Simple things like…do you respect yourself…do you respect me…
Why are you sneaking out without asking me. Any answer that is not respectful to you eeds to be confronted
Confront her for sure. She needs to be safe
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If she isn’t on birth control then please do her a favor and put her on it immediately. This will at least keep her from getting pregnant and it will calm her hormones so she’s less interested in sex.
Don’t expect her to be responsible enough to remember to take it. This is how I got pregnant at 16. I was responsible for remembering to take my bc and missed a dose or two.
I would start sharing a room with her and put alarms on the doors and windows that beep when they are opened in case she catches you in a deep sleep. She would stop going out at night even if I had to nail the windows shut. But, she can still get pregnant during the day so bc immediately
Sit her down and talk to her. You’re her parent. She needs to understand the risks of what she’s doing.
There are STD’s and STI’s that she could get that never go away and could lead to other serious health issues (HPV can lead to cervical cancer) or worse, death (HIV has no cure and can turn into full blown AIDS).
Maybe do some reading first about these things to get informed.
Also, talk to her about her self worth. She doesn’t need to give it up to have value. Tell her that she is worthy of respect and love just as she is.
Talk to her about reputation. How boys/men will treat her disrespectfully if she doesn’t treat herself with respect.
Most important, let her know that you love her and your concerns don’t come from a place of judgements but of love and respect.
Let her know that you want her to feel close to you so that she can talk to you and share feelings openly. Don’t lose your temper.
Remind her that this isn’t a one time conversation but one that needs to be had through time so you don’t need to tackle every topic right away but it does need to be talked about.
Good luck.
Confront her…My parents, drove me to the boys homes and confronted the boys, their parents and me all at once.
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She is sneaking out and hooking up with TWO of them…… that is a hard no! For teen girls the most impressionable ages are between 14-18. I think during this age they get molded for their future and who they believe themselves to be. They need to respect and value their lives and you need to drill that into them. Someone who respects themselves will NOT be hooking up with two guys—but their brains are still developing. You need to find out if these guys are giving her drugs or doing something to her etc…. Sneaking out and having a boyfriend is normal. Hooking up with more than one or various guys is not normal and should not be tolerated.
My daughter was doing some sneaky things between the ages of 15-18 and it was like a nightmare for me. I tried being nice, that didn’t work and then I started crashing parties and the places she went, she hated it but it worked best for me. Yes…. I am that mom.
We broke through the barriers of putting safety first. As time continued she saw the difference between my parenting and others parents and how some of her friends turned out. The main point is keeping our kids safe and busy during their teenage years. It really is a tough balance to do. Sending you love and a big hug. Hang in there. Sometimes we find out things our kids do are so misaligned with who we are or what we teach them but they are learning. Guidance and forgiveness is important and showing them they are safe with you 
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She’s at that age, and I would say something to her, but if she wants to do it, she’s going to do it. Trying to force her to stop is only going to push her to do it even more. Putting her on birth control and at least meeting the boys is the best option for you right now.
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Do the two boys know about each other?
Hmmmm YOU ARE HER MOTHER, you need to think of her safety
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You need to talk to her. But don’t get mad or start yelling or belittling her saying “how could you” “are you stupid” etc. If you say things like that you’ll push her away & she won’t listen to you about being safe
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Of course you should confront her before you end up with her on a daytime talk show trying to figure out who her baby’s father is!
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My parents put a lock on my window so it couldn’t open however that is a fire hazard. I suggest a security system that will alarm when the doors and/or windows are opened while it’s on and do not give the kids the code or access that turns it off, LOL. We have an alarm like this and have it programed to automatically turn on and off at a certain times as well as automatically turn off when we unlock the front door (we have a keyless entry doorknob that is linked to it). We can also turn it on and off with the app on our phone.
If you know, how are you not saying anything about it???
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