Don’t play stupid… Catch her in the act and let her know what you know. She might not like being exposed like that in the moment, but when she’s 30 looking back at what she did at 16 she’ll appreciate the fact you worried and cared enough to say something.
Believe me I got caught red-handed doing the deed in the living room at that age.
I made better choices after that. Damn sure Smarter ones.
Not that I didn’t continue to do the typical teen things but I definitely learned what having respect for your parents means.
I would have been knocking on that window if I saw her hooking up.
you know I have seen mentioned in numerous replies here “make sure she is being respected”… are y’all flipping crazy right now… how can any boy let alone boy’s respect her… she obviously doesn’t respect herself, therefore doesn’t know disrepct when it is happening to her, nor does she respect anyone else, least of all her mother… Geez, people come on!
Put Life 360 on her phone. This is a safety precaution. You have to discuss this with her. Although you don’t want her having sex, you have to discuss safe sex. Maybe even putting her on the pill. Speak about not having multiple partners.
We can only lead by example. Kids nowadays are different from when we were growing up
Well you def. Need to confront her she def. Needs to know that’s it’s not ok to be sneaking out. And for sneaking out she needs to be grounded you need to let her know how u safe it could be for her and how she. Could get hurt if these boys was to turn there back on her. So ease have a talk with her. If this is my child I would nail her windows shut and find another way she couldn’t get out of the house at night get you an alarm system so t give her the code and when that door or window opens there u go u will know right away and then she will be busted.
You need to talk to her.Ask her whats going on protection being used.Boundaries and consequences.
I would confront her it’s not safe
Try talking to her first about the dangers. Maybe try giving her more freedom during normal hours. If that doesn’t work, bust her ass and put alarms on the windows and doors. Then every time you catch her in a lie or disobeying the rules, bust her ass again. Don’t be afraid to discipline your child. If something happens down the road at least you will know you tried. You definitely don’t want to have regrets about not trying discipline. It is ok for her to be angry and say she hates you. That means you are doing your job. When she grows up she will recognize why you chose that route and she will appreciate it.
She’s 16 woman! You need to tell her she lives under your roof she will abide by your rules! Tell her you will send her off to a farm somewhere if she doesn’t. I was so damn afraid of that farm when I was a kid! I just knew it was gonna be a horrible place to be sent to if I didn’t clean up and act right! You need to take charge woman, you need to take charge!
I would sit her down let her know that you know what she’s doing and take her to your doctor for birth control pills. You could also buy her condoms and get her the vaccine for std protection. That’s what I would do for my daughter in Canada and I don’t have a clue on where you are
Are you 100% sure she is having sex? I snuck out when I was 15 and my mom swore I was having sex and didn’t believe me but I never did
- How old is she?
- Have her invite the 2 boys over!
- Then threaten them with telling their parent’s & the legal implications of under age sex! Even if they are not having sex!!! You as the parent, have the right to ask!!!
Here’s an odd perspective… she’s 16, she’s got hormones and feelings and urges that she may understand to only a slight degree so why not take her for birth control? The shot or something she doesn’t take daily. Then have them give her a real std and Sti talk. Another odd thing here… maybe buy her some of her own condoms to always keep on her? Yes they’re for the boys but if she has them then they can’t say they forgot or something if she had them on her like she should of.
Get her on birth control ASAP. Hoes gonna Hoe!
Wait outside her window for when she goes to sneak out (with flashlight) and catch her in the act- confront her then and tell her you will be getting cameras installed, so you will be notified when she does it and take away her phone while shes at home, phones only for when shes out - then you can get ahold of her while shes not home. She cant plan to meet up if she cant contact them
These comments omg. Should I confront her??? What. Be a parent. Your child is out running around in the middle of the night. Watch the movie Audrie and Daisy. If she wants to date ok. Have the birth control talk and make those boys come to the door and meet you and take her out on a proper date. Take control of the situation or she could end up raped, trafficked or dead.
She’s your underage daughter participating in dangerous behaviour.
You have options you are not using…starting with confronting her directly now…instead of continuing to allow it.
You can… Install interior door and window LOUD alarms and lights you set at bedtime…And/or… The very next time you ’ know’ she’s snuck and gotten out, follow her. Get in the car and go get her.
Do it Every. Single. Time. and cart her home.
The mortification factor will have an impact, and likely deter ‘the boys’ from wanting anything to do with her anymore if she comes with mommy showing up attached as a guaranteed ’ uncool ’ package deal.
If it persists, call the police and have her picked up and brought home in the back of the cop car as a persistent minor ’ runaway '. Report the boys, their familys, suspected drug & alcohol in possession of / provided for minors. If the ’ boys ’ are over 18, have them arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Be relentless. You have many proactive options here.
What you do not have the option of doing any longer is knowing about it, doing nothing and continuing to allow it. Yes it will suck and be hard and exhausting and upsetting and she will absolutely hate your guts and the air you breathe. Too bad.
You are this minor child’s parent and only protector…not her friend.
Start acting like it.
You’re the mom. Take her shit away. Ground her. The end.
I would definitely be having a conversation with her because she likely has some sort of self esteem issue if she feels the need to sleep with multiple dudes every night, she should also be educated about diseases and pregnancy. My mother took me to the sexual health clinic when I was younger and they showed me pictures of diseased genitals and it was effective for me. Freaking right out is probably not the best option but you should definitely confront her and have a conversation
All the shaming and punishing and blathering on about morals will be completely useless without birth control. You’re up against millions of years of evolution, preaching will fail.
I would of been on that the first time!!!
Hooking up with both??? Oh no!!!
Pad lock the doors lol idk but something has to be done before she ends up pregnant and won’t know the dad… or God forbid she gets hurt …
Talk to your baby!!! Asap!
Sneaking around woild make her mad at you…
So I would approach a different way open communication!
Maybe try talking to her about birth control and say if and when you become active we will go get it don’t judge or yell or make her feel bad most teens will not come to there parents cause they flip out instead of supporting I know she’s only 16 but if she’s already doing it she’s not gonna stop if you ground her she will run… and do it anyways… just be there with open mind and maybe teach about protection and one partner as two or more can cause higher risk of disease and with one you will know where it came from… idk if you get mad they will hide more so just don’t be the parent that kicks there kids out at 16 for sex or she will leave and have it and be more at risk
Be her parent not her friend
Mine is 17 and trust me ain’t nothing I can do. I tried taking away privileges like cellphone and other electronics, installed cameras in our apartment, kicked her out to go stay with her dad (which only lasted a couple weeks. I even threatened to send her to live with my mom an entire ocean away. This girl still does what she wants. It’s hard this generation is totally different and way more exposed to so much crap.
Keep reminding her you love her and you want what’s best for her. Take her to see a doctor and maybe even start her on birth control. But really read into your options cause side effects are a bitch.
I’ve even gotten brochures for those teen camps and didn’t phase her one but. Ass whooping didn’t help either. Keep loving her and keep being on her maybe one day she will understand and hopefully it won’t be too late.
I would figure out where she is getting out of the house and hide somewhere and catch her. She can’t deny it and you then have a long talk about the dangers and also put your foot down that this behavior will NOT be allowed. She is still a child and needs to be protected but also get some consequences for her unacceptable behavior. You might be afraid she will be mad or not like you but your job is to keep her safe.
U dont know What to do Well I do
You need to have a non-judgmental talk about birth control asap. Also about std’s.
Get all the windows and doors equipped with an alarm and set everything at night.
Everyone worried about pregnancy and birth control and I’m over here thinking STI… those are pretty terrible too
Pop up mama! Go where she is and take her home. Let the boys and her know you don’t play those games! My child tried me with an inappropriate “relationship” someone in her class (too old to be in her class) I cut that mess off quick. No phone, no contact (teachers know the deal as well), chores out the wazu! In my opinion she was being groomed but wasn’t really sure it was wrong. Be mindful, have some tough conversations and get her some birth control!
The issue to me is she’s letting two pathetic boys use her like a piece of trash. I’d be mopping the floor with those boys, that’s just nasty and classless all around.
Girls not have the std talk, show pictures of said std, pregnancy things that can explode your life and do a lot of listening she’s looking for something.
I’d seal the windows shut, remove her doors and probably make up a story about a peer being kidnapped and scare the crap out of her. Then I would make her do some kind of community service that had to do w helping teens or babies that have been in bad situations. Also I’d probably make her watch a ton of videos online of abductions, ect. That’s just me, I’m a scare ya and show ya type
She’s 16 and you know she’s doing it and don’t know if you should confront her? Do you think it’s appropriate for your 16 year old to be sneaking out (technically do we even call it sneaking out if you fully know and allow it??) to be hooking up with boys? I just can’t with some of the questions on this page…. NO it’s not okay for her to be doing this at 16! Something bad could happen… pregnancy, assault to just name a few. Stop being her friend and be her damn mother!
Cameras. My stepson started having sex at 14-15. He met his now wife at 16 she was 24…they have a 4 year old daughter they have been married just under a year. We didn’t agree with the situation at all but he was living with his mom at the time then met her and emancipated himself because he and his mom weren’t getting along…kinda funny that that was the case with his mom because she’s on bipolar meds and so is his wife. When they got married she didn’t take her pill so she had to take a pill from his mom (they got married at her house). SS ended up having a seizure that night…he was drinking and hadn’t eaten much, then 6 months later got hit by a car on our motorcycle and had 3 seizures then a few weeks later had another doctors couldn’t pinpoint the cause of any of them. He did play sports in school and has had multiple concussions but never a seizure until the wedding night. My husband caught him the first and second time he had s3x and I caught him looking at p0rn…I mentioned that to my husband and he said boys will be boys and look where we are now grandparents at (35 me) and (41 husband). I was 8 days from turning 31 when our granddaughter was born. That was fun to explain…
Make a gyno apt, get her on birth control and buy her condoms.
I don’t see anything good coming from specifically letting her know that 1. You’ve been snooping,2. You know details about her sexual endeavors, or 3. You have thoughts and opinions on her sexual endeavors.
To be very clear, you will not put a stop to her sex life. So prepare her to be as safe as humanly possible. She’s already sneaking out to do it, the wrong approach could make it 10x worse.
How is she sneaking out? If it’s her bedroom window screw it shut from the outside and never mention it to her. If it’s a door wait till she sneaks out then lock it behind her. That way she knows you caught her.
Get house alarm installed, cameras on the outside of the house, talk to her and show her videos about sneaking out and sex, and maybe having babies and maybe condoms
Make an appointment with a gyno. Talk to her. Tell her STDs are no joke. Have the gyno show her pictures if that what it takes.
If I gave you a reason to doubt me, I’m sorry. I love you too much to not talk to you. I know you have been sneaking out to see those boys. That being said, If I wanted to stop you I would’ve. I want you to make decisions that are well thought of. As a mom, it’s my job to give you tools and shine light on situations that you may run into. I never want you to grow up & believe your mom never guided you or helped you figure life out. I want you to know that I will take you to any appointment to keep you safe and make sure you have everything you need. I also want to be here when your heart breaks. It’s not a matter of if, but when. I want to be the first phone call when you’re scared, worried, or hurt. Please know that I’m here. I’ve been there, and I am here for you no matter what. I love you unconditionally no matter what.
Put alarms on all windows and all doors. U can get them on Amazon if u don’t want to buy through your alarm company. They are loud when u open doors or windows.Only u will have the button to turn it off not her. Good luck I hope she is on birth control or else congratulations grandma.Joking but seriously alarms work good. Just check everyday to make sure they are all still.working and nobody messed with it. It’s just too dangerous out there. Trafficking and killers just not good. Tell her if she wants to see a boy invite them to yr place where u can be in the next room.
My daughter and I had a long conversation tonight not about this but a tear in our relationship that has been going on for months that I could no longer take. She just turned 16. She actually is an intelligent well behaved kid and has never done these things. But I doubted where she was today and called her a liar. Before actually speaking with her, just going off of the app of life 360 someone recommended. I love the app but it is not 100% it glitches. But due to our situation and the glitch I doubted her for a moment and did not think. But it made us talk.
My suggestion is to talk to her, not AT her as some people are suggesting or confront her. But also not as her friend. But as her Mom, it is your responsibility to know why she is acting this way. Somewhere something changed and made her think. Sneaking out and giving herself to two boys was okay. She could have been bullied into it, or forced or it could of been her idea. You do not know and we certainly do not. Try thinking back and try an remember if her behavior changed at all before you caught this, before talking to her. It will help, I promise. When you talk to her, ask her why she is doing this. Calmly ask. You can let her know you are upset and frustrated. She will know your disappointed. Then of course get her into the doctor to get her tested. I would suggest birth control but that is up to you and her, and also condoms because we all know boys/men cannot be 100% reliable. Hopefully she’s been enforcing those. I would also make her aware of your boundaries and recommend cameras going forward and life 360 so you do have a 95% accuracy of where she is. My daughter signed us up for ours on her first away trip with lacrosse. We use the free version, we refuse to pay with the glitching due to research we did. The glitching I saw, the location was right. The action it was showing was wrong.
If you want to dm, you have my permission and I won’t tell anyone. I rarely ever comment. I’m going through this blind as my family is deceased now and my spouse hasn’t done this either, and he didn’t grow up with his mom.
Birth control destroyed me. Research copper toxicity.
Sneaking out at 16 and having sex with 2 guys. You need to speak with her ASAP, she will never leave the house again. This is serious
These problems lately seem to be so fucking ridiculous that who evers behind the keyboard making them up hasn’t a bloody clue on kids and actually needs to wait and ask a bunch of strangers how to deal with shit like this, do you job and parent ur child If it’s real, if not please come up something more believable.