My 16-year-old will wants nothing to do with me

Such different times for sure now. Use to be … my house , my rules until you can take care of yourself and pay your own bills under your own roof not mine. I wish I would have disrespected my parents this way! Geeze what is wrong with some of you?!

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You need to stop and apologize to begin with, and really mean it !!! Then leave the boy alone for a while. Let him come to you when he is ready. You have bullied yourself right out of his life, now give him the chance and the time, to decide to let you back into it. Ask if you can check on him and call his grandparents. BUT ASK FIRST ! He needs to feel in control !! You had taken all of his control away before, give it back and maybe he will eventually let you back in. Good luck, your going to need it.

Taking penis pictures on a DS is NOT OK and your absolutely right for what you did hes still a child THAT IS CONSIDERED CHILD P0R^ AND YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE AS WELL IT BEING IT WAS AT YOUR HOUSE…If there is an adult at the other end of those pictures you will find out

As a mother and protector you have a right to know what’s keeping him up all night when he should be sleeping. Any kind of obsession is unhealthy and you would have had the same response if he was talking to a girl or playing games. When he didn’t communicate with you he forced you to come up with your own answers like is he being groomed by a predator of some sort! As I read it you haven’t taken the DS to the police yet. You just told him you were going to. I wouldn’t do that. If you are really concerned get a private company to check. I don’t believe it is just a regular boyfriend that he’s been talking to night after night until the early hours! People in steady relationships don’t do that. It’s very sad that this has happened. Even more sad that his grandparents are not helping to resolve this. I agree with what someone else said. He’s feeling embarrassed about how everything has come out. That you and his brother have seen his pictures. Only time will tell. Just keep reaching out to him in an accepting way. Or write him a letter.

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Lady if I were your kid I wouldn’t want anything to do with you either.

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My bet is granddad and dad knew this situation long before you did. It is wrong for the grandparents to overstep their boundaries. By letting him move in with them, it had broken up a home. The damage is done now, so all you can do is wait and let him return to you at his own choosing . And he will.

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If you you would have made it a safe place to begin with he would have told you everything. Maybe talking to his boyfriend at night is the only time he can talk to him because his parents are homophobic. That could be why he won’t tell you who it is because you would probably out his boyfriend to. Being lgbt is hard and putting so much pressure on him ain’t helping.

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I’m sorry , but you violated his privacy as you are explaining what you did , I am getting upset …getting the police involved ,it’s not as if your son is a criminal , this is a stranger’s view …I can imagine how your son must be feeling, you have literally pushed him into a corner. …my opinion …

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Hey you were concerned you went about it,you are accepting and you are the mother , it won’t last forever. You can offer a safe pace to open up to but some people have their own people , you’ve learned a lot about grooming who wouldn’t go detective over their kids , specially at a young age for the , if he can support himself let him fly .

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All these people worried about his privacy. What is that at 16 years old living under your parents roof??? I would have taken the internet away too! Don’t let these people mom shame you!!!

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Maybe “CHILDREN” are TOO " GROWN UP"…I Got As For As reading,16… NOT GROWN . nobody’s opion but The parents.

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So those upset you invaded his privacy, you act like he’s 18. He’s not! He’s still a CHILD!!! According to some of you, we are not allowed to parent anymore? Good grief! Some of you are what’s wrong with these kids today!

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Well you aren’t gonna win any mother of the year awards, that’s for sure! Leave him alone. You have done enough damage already

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I want to follow this life story as it hits home with a few things …my son is 19 an since early teens Been transition from male to female without the right support
Apart from me . I’m his biggest supporter…surely just a thought is your son staying away because he is finding his place in the gay community because it’s not just major high emotions sn confusion sn maybe lack of acceptance he is struggling with at home …:.: was going to say it’s easy for us parents to be
wracked with that mum guilt even though we are their for them…if he’s safe for now then give him some space to think an decide what he wants to do to make himself happier …that post shows u care so much about your boy it really does but just don’t chase or nag him just be there got him however u can babs …thinking of u an hope u can write your next post with a happy ending for you both :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:xxx

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I don’t blame him! Coming out is hard enough. Too much control can ruin most things.

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So your on bad terms with your son but you went ahead and reported him to the police? You sound toxic if I’m honest

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Why in the world would you call the police you just drove them further away in your younger son you should get them in counseling as soon as possible.

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Could you not have broached the topic of sending nudes without contacting the police? Whilst it is illegal, youve no idea who he sent those photos to and if he even did send them? Really you should have educated him on the dangers of taking these photos rather than taking it to the police because you betrayed whatever little trust he has left in you, he will never be honest with you if continually betray his trust. He isnt a child, hes an adolescent, treat him like the young adult he is and give him some time, a bit of trust and maybe a bit of responsibility because it sounds to me that the reason he moved out was because you have no faith in him or his decision making skills and you dont respect open and honest communication, youd rather sit him down and force him to tell you, thats not respecting him and its not showing him that youre someone that he can talk to because it seems youre very totalitarian about conversations that should have been about concern.

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Your son has nothing wrong with him. He can live with his grandparents why because he has somewhere to stay. Keep away from him and don’t impose your negative feelings anywhere near him. You need to stop this being gay who cares for crying out loud he is your son. Some parents are too controlling cut it out.

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I’d never talk to my mom if she did that to me, calling the police about nude pictures is insane. He can go to jail for sending them.

If any 1 else has read Kathy Glass they’ll know u did the right thing…I hope he hasn’t been groomed but doesn’t sound right to me…sounds just like a little boy I read about…reminded me of him reading this post…hope ur OK and ur son will come round eventually just give him time xxx

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When there’s no trust and you push too hard, you can push them away. Only thing to do is apologize and learn how to trust again.

Some of these comments seems crazy. I 100% would be pissed about my kid staying up all hours of the night talking to someone also. I 100% would’ve taken the internet at 8pm not 10pm. And the phone would be gone at bed time… i also would have asked questions on why he can’t talk on the phone at decent times. he’s 16 not 18. I however wouldn’t have went to the police about taking inappropriate pics but i would’ve talked about the dangers of sending them to people

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I think he’s just lashing out as he had to come out as gay when he wasn’t ready and he’s scared. Hes 16 and at that age he’s probably learning alot about himself and others and having feelings he probably never has before and need to learn how to manage them. I personally thinking going to the police was a bit to far as u don’t know if he is being groomed and now he’s probably thinking all sorts. At 16 I was always in chat room, messenger etc but it was all innocent. I think give him time and space let him know ur there fir him when he is ready and just give it time. He’s 16 still a child and u know him better than any of us and u done what u thought was right. Ppl here r so quick to judge. If u ignored ur son ur a bad mother if u push ur a bad mother. Ur not a bad mother u just need a bit if help n that’s OK. He does need his privacy respected and I do agree he needs his sleep and u were trying to tea him rules and boundaries. It works both ways. Good luck xx

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Get a babysitter for your youngest take him out just you too have a really big talk with him you was only looking out for him you don’t know who’s about these days so it could off been anyone who he was talking too I hope it all works out for you x

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I would have taken the ds to the police to see if the pictures were shared/emailed with anyone. If they were the police could then track the receiver and make sure it wasn’t a pedophile claiming to be someone hid age. If it was someone his age I would ask the police to discuss the dangers of sending pucs like that with both my son and the receiver. Once it’s sent it’s out there forever. Most 16 year olds aren’t mature enough to make a decision that could effect them for YEARS.

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U flipped out, in my opinion, He will forgive you and always love you but you need to chill out

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Things are angry at the moment ,they will calm down he will come home when he is ready.

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You have every right and duty as a mother to ask questions be concerned shut the internet off at a decent time he is still a child he needs his rest for his brain to develop if his grandparents had any respect for you as his mother they would force him to come back home to you and work it out and grow into a young adult instead of getting to throw a temper tantrum and have his own way. Which is not healthy for him on so many levels in the long run. Good luck may God bless you and keep you safe :pray::heart:

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Question, were the pictures of himself or his brother? It kinda sounds to me like you meant brother and that’s a big deal.

Just the way you have told everyone here you probably told every one around you to and if I was your son I would also stay away

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If your son sent that to another 16-year-old you just got your son a distributing child porn case even if they are the same age your son can be charged with distributing child porn and the other minor will be charged with receiving child porn. 

U are extra!!! U are over protecting over reacting and being one of those crazy helicopter moms…u can see the results maybe back off a bit give the kid some time to heal and crawl out of ur kids asses!!!

I get it you were being mom and you digged…that’s your job. He’s only 16 he should be home. He’s not being honest with grandpa and grandma is covering it up. Being gay has nothing to do with the tantrum he is getting away with. If you feel something isn’t right stick with your gut. I would cut off internet at a reasonable time, he’s only 16. It will affect his school schedule and grades (goodbye college). Where’s dad? He needs to be aware even if your not together. Good luck, and my daughter (who is gay) did the same thing. So I feel ya. Also she came back home 2 years later. And we have a great relationship. Her person was 28, I was beyond upset

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Well done you fucked up any chance of him forgiving you in the future hope you are pleased with yourself

I wouldn’t want anything to do with you either

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I think instead of trying to control him or anything… You need to just support him. Let him figure it out. Just apologize sincerely and let him know you are there for him if he needs you. Sometimes parents just need to know when it’s time to be a friend. 16 is only 2 years away from being an adult. He’s with his grand parents? He sounds safe to me. Being pushy will only push people away. Be patient. Have faith. Let go and let God. :heart::100::pray:

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First of all you would not be my mother anymore either there’s no way I’m turning my kids into the police for this why would you not talk to him get him some counseling and you need to be involved in this counseling . And you need to get some counseling for the traumatized 13 year old also

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So, for everyone talking about how going to the police was just a bad mom move, lemme tell ya this lil story, we just had the internet sex crimes unit, the state internet crimes unit, and the special victims unit all sitting in my home, talking pictures of absolutely everything, and then confiscating all of electronics, including the Rokus from the TVs.
Why? you ask? Because the 8yr old had a video of himself, without a shirt on, he had tried to post to tic tok. ( It did not upload, but yeah, that was a whole other conversation) (it is also on a tic tok acct that has less than 10 people follow, all of which are his blood family in another state, which is why he has it, to keep in contact)
It is a very bid deal to have naked or partial naked pictures of a child. Sent, or even NOT sent over the internet. (we were told just having the pictures broke many child sex laws)
When the FBI starts saying things like “as the adult with internet in your name, you are breaking every law by having those picture ANYWHERE on an electronic device, and its the adult that will be the person charged with these crimes”
yeah, well, I’ll be the first to say this, if you found it, someone somewhere across the internet, has found it as well.

Seems a great deal of people misread why you went to the police.

First I agree with one person on an earlier thread, he’s throwing a tantrum.

Setting ground rules on screen time should be what a parent does, regardless of the child’s sexual preference. Further, trying to gain an understanding of what he’s doing with his time in the odd hours I can understand feeling suspect of that as a parent. I also don’t think you have an issue with him being gay. 16 year old children should not be taking pictures of themselves in the manner he did. It is really possible given the time of night he’s being groomed, it also may be another person his age.

While I do understand why you went to the police, that’ll be a tough one to get past. I think what peeps on this thread don’t understand is you didn’t turn your son in, you’re ensuring some 40 year old man isn’t receiving his pictures, as a parent if you didn’t want to know that, I’d question a person being a parent. Your son is being secretive about that and that’s what kids do when they feel ashamed at that age for the company he’s keeping (not his sexual preference).

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The tighter you try to hold him or control him the more he will push away. He’s 16 and is growing up fast, you’re gonna have to let him have his privacy and space. Let things calm down and just let him know you love him and hope y’all can move past this. I know you’re just being a mom and doing what’s best but unfortunately you can’t control everything with him. He’ll come around but only after you give him the space he needs.

sorry 16 and in college, please elaborate

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You seriously violated this kids trust. You pushed him to admit something before he was ready because you couldn’t leave it alone. You went and allowed his brother access to his DS and then confronted him about what was found on it and you went to the police? What is wrong with you as a mother that you go to the police over a dick pic? And then threaten his laptop? You may have thought you were keeping him safe by going to the police, but you didn’t have to do that. You could have just looked through the DS to see if it was emailed to someone. What is wrong with you? If you were my parent, I would never speak to you again simply because of the sheer embarrassment you would be putting me through. You made some very wrong choices in dealing with everything. You want your son back, APOLOGIZE for your behavior and stop pressuring him. It’s so hard for gay kids to come out and then being forced to - good lord…

Grandparents don’t have rights call the cops and have him returned to you.
He might be mad but he will be with you and that can at least have you guys work on your relationship.
Maybe find a way to have agreement or when you get of line at night that way he will feel like he has a choice in the matter too.

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The D’s thing in my opinion was to far I’d of talked to him and went any other route then the police with that like counselor for him or something for him to be able to talk to someone else who is a professional.

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Give the kid some privacy you sound extremely controlling and micromanaging. Every 16 year old can’t stand their parents and everything you just mentioned is pushing him away.

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Look, he is 16, and you are his mother. So yes, you know what he needs, even if he doesn’t like or understand that. I really don’t know what is wrong with people saying you are being controlling; you are being his mother, he is 16, and he doesn’t need a friend he needs his mom. As he needs to learn rules. As for the grandparents, take them to cort and get your child back.

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Somehow you need to get ahold of him. Sit him down. And explain everything to him, or just let him read this. If he’s being groomed that’s unfortunate. But if not then you’ll just have to accept what he’s doing, he’s nearly grown anyway he’s not going to stop

A probably has nothing to do with you or his dad or his brother it’s more about him trying to work through the process of who he is he is and it’s the only thing that he can control

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You forced him to come out as gay, so I don’t blame him for not wanting anything to do with you. But, I do agree with him not having access to the internet anymore or sending/receiving pictures.
Remember that you’re still the parent.

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Luana Labaya-Walter oh yeah let’s laugh at someone’s trauma, don’t you just seem so lovely. People must love you🙄

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I’d he happy, healthy, and safe there? You can try to force him to come back and he will likely resent you more for it. Or you could try to make amends for how everything went down. Apologize, wrote a letter, seek counseling to try to repair your relationship….there’s lot of positive things you can do to try to get him to see you meant to help even if it hurt him in the way it was all done.

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Well I understand that you’re concerned but you already pushed him out of your house and made him feel betrayed… but then you broke any and all trust that could have been saved by going to the police. If he decides to forgive you it’s not going to be for years. Give him space and let him be.

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He’s a minor just call the cops and get him back at this point he is considered a run away

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Goodness me I can appreciate being a protective mum but he is 16!!! Give him space and privacy!!! He doesn’t need to tell you every piece of detail about what he sends to his boyfriend. I was sending my boyfriend who was 22 pictures of my titts when I was 17 and we were together for many years and had a beautiful daughter together. Woo up mama he’s his own person, you don’t own him and have no right to his private information.

Try to do better with your youngest bc tbh you lost the oldest. It’s up to HIM to forgive you. And if he doesn’t, leave him alone before you make it worse.

I don’t blame him. Let him be.

I’m very very sorry that you are going through what can be as a nightmare to you. Sometimes we as parents want the best for our children. We want to protect them from anything that is good or bad. But sometimes we go overboard on the protection. Not really knowing that it may be harming them more. Did you ever asked him if he needed to talk that you would be there for him. Did you ever thing that he may be going though a mental health issue. Was you ever patient with him? The only reason I’m asking is because I also have a 16yrs old daughter that does the same thing. She was on her phone through out the night. She was on these social media day and night. I gave her her space and I trusted her until one day she came to me and said that she did something and she made a mistake and the reason she came to me because she trusted me. I was patient with my daughters feelings I was there when she needed me. I never turned my back on her because whatever she was going through at her age I went through it too and I understood but at the same time I had to tell her that there are consequences to what she did and that she disobey the rules to my house with a calm way. I read some scriptures in the bible that she can understand on how she needed to behave because she with be judged and it kind of scared her but overall I was patient and I waited for her to come to me when the mistake was made and I hug her and said that I loved her and that her feelings matter to me. And now we have the best mother and daughter relationship. Maybe you and your son needs family counseling. Don’t give up on your son because now a days there are young people that are committing suicide and that is the most hurtful thing any parent came take and you don’t want to take that. So please go after your boy and don’t let him go. Tell him you understand what he is going through and always tell him you love him regardless if he don’t say it back.

Id let the grandfather know about his sexualitiy and the pictures then let him deal with it all. If your sons with them then they need to deal with him and all that goes with him.

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Coming from an 18 yr old who is bi herself…the whole turning the internet off at a certain time is completely understandable. I used to hate it when I had to turn my phone in at a certain time…but I understand why it was done. Now the whole forcing him to out himself, I don’t disagree with and it shouldn’t of been done. When he was ready to come out to you, he would’ve done it on his own terms. My mom figured out I was bi, but shes bi as well, so she didn’t care…I told my dad and he didn’t mind either. He’s not shaming me or whatever so I guess it’s fine. The boy is/was 16, he does deserve privacy. Now the pictures thing…being that he’s still underage, it wasn’t right for him to do it. And you may be right about the grooming part…he may have been groomed…but he’ll never admit it for the simple fact that he’s scared of what you’ll do. Overall, you were both in the wrong AND in the right.

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