My daughter is 18 and wants her boyfriend to stay over. I’m a little nervous, to tell the truth as I had a baby at 18 and I’m trying to protect her, she’s with him six months and I’m the worst in the world and to overprotective I don’t know what to do any advice
Is she paying room and board?
I moved out with my boyfriend at 17.
She is an adult and if you don’t at least compromise it could push her away or like myself move out altogether
Our job as parents is to hopefully have set them up to make good choices
Have them Sleep in separate rooms perhaps? but you know they will probably sneak in together…are they already having sex? I’m sure that’s what your worried about.
Ugh no. Trust me. Sleeping in separate rooms won’t matter.
First of all have you talk to her about birth control ? I hope so
Your house ur rules. But if she is paying bills including rent she has rights. If not then u Tell her no and if she doesn’t like it then they can stay elsewhere.
Nah, she’s going to need to figure it out like the rest of us did. We wouldn’t have even bothered to ask that question.
I think the bigger question is have you had all the appropriate talks with her in regards to birth control and really taking time to get to know someone. I dont think he should be able to spend the night till she has a job and place of her own. You have to pay to play!!!
She may be 18, but it’s your house. If you aren’t comfortable with the boyfriend staying over then tell her that.
She’s on birth control and asking to sleep with her boyfriend in your house…? Are you OK with that? How is this a discussion question
Yes he can stay in the guest room, why not
tell her ass that she can do that shit when she has her own place, paying her own bills. She needs to respect your rules - whether she having sex or not or that you had a baby young. You don’t want it happening there, then say that. And tell her ass NO
Absolutely not. They are not married
U need someone on here to tell you what’s right from wrong?.. what u need to do is turn in your mom badge … and pick up the “soon to be grandma “ one… duh
Ummm, they aren’t married so the answer would be NO…If she feels like because she is 18 then that makes her grown so it should be ok, well she should have her own place and paying for it because that is what grown people do…Pay for your own roof that way you can do alllllll the grown people stuff you want…
It’s a no from me lol
Talk to your Daughter about contraceptive and birth control, and don’t bother making them sleep in separate rooms, that won’t work, it will only create a rift between you and your daughter.
Nah. You have to have your own place to shack up like that. If nothing else boundaries for yourself.
My dad allowed my bf of 2 yrs to stay over once after I turned 18. I was also paying rent & my own bills & he slept on the couch with my Great Dane watching his every move he didn’t even get up to go to the bathroom lmao
Don’t start giving permission for something you are not ready for.
I would ensure you have an open and direct conversation about contraception, if you haven’t already. There is a chance they’re already having sex, so sexual health talks should be high on the priority. Then honestly, at 18 yes I would allow my child’s partner to spend the night, if the partners parents were also okay with the situation. I’d rather my son and his gf at my home, safe, then running around trying to hide, or lie.
Yes. It’s better than her having sex in a car or who knows where. Make sure if they are sexually active they use protection. She’s an adult and doesn’t need your permission. If she was living on her own this wouldn’t even be a question.
I would definitely recommend that you give it another thought!!! In my opinion I would say the day you want your boyfriend to be in your life permanently is the day you have your own place. Lol but I would say “No Way”
Talk to her. Explain your fears and why they exist. Tell her about your experiences… help her understand your point of view.
Um she’s 18? Tf The more u are strict the more she does behind ur back
Talk to her about birth control, make sure they have condoms. At least that is the trust i want to give both my son and daughter. Always be there
I think it is wonderful that she feels your relationship is one that she is comfortable asking and not going somewhere unknown to stay the night with him in “secret”.
Do you feel that you have raised her to know how to navigate her relationship with her boyfriend? Do you trust her judgment? Are you comfortable with her boyfriend?
Its important to set ground rules that you are comfortable with.
If your gut is telling you no. Then no is the answer.
Just talk to her, I am sure you can come to a mutual answer.
My worst nightmare
All my ex partner’s who stayed at my parents house, slept in a seperate room to me. My parents said the only time they will sleep with you under our roof is if I was married to whichever partner it was at the time
I cant imagine my Moms reaction if I had asked such a thing at 18.
She’s technically an adult so you have one of 2 choices… have a chat with her and allow her to have her bf over for sleep overs and it all works out fine or tell her no and she decides she needs space to grow and moves out…
TALK TO HER.
Make a decision together…
Doesn’t matter if she’s legally an adult. It’s your house I still would never have the nerve to ask my mom if my boyfriend can spend the night. It’s disrespectful in my opinion.
Why he cant stay home
Get her an IUD. Don’t let her, be the boss, be strong.
If you’re that concerned. Talk to her n get her birth control.
I had My oldest at 18 as well and I totally understand not wanting her to follow in this a steps and being protective.
Personally, by 18 I would have my daughter on birth control (iud or implant)
And as far as boys go.
She can have her boyfriend over until 1130 but he has to go home.
Over nights start when she lives on her own.
I know it’s hard mama
I say no I have 3 sons that are adults now and it is a respect for you and your home. My sons never had their girlfriends spend the night I was a single mom and I never had men at the house yes I dated but I made a promise to my sons to never have a man in the house as it was their house as well and they respected me enough to not have their girlfriends spend the night either. I would have conversation with her about your feelings and worries and keep communication open dont just say no let her know your thoughts and listen to hers as well.
I take it you’re not in Lockdown like us then?
It’s your house. Say no if you want to. Yup get that girl protection.
Just speak to her about protection, it’ll happen if they want it to. You can’t control that but you can make sure you give her the best advice x
If your daughter has been honest and come to you about this instead of it happening some where else says she understands this is a big deal
Shes 18. At least she is asking.
Heck NO she wants to act like she grown then she can MOVE whatever happened to respect your damn parent’ and their home don’t pay even the paper that wipes your ass but want to open your legs like you grown
Why can’t he go home? I say absolutely not. Dating is one thing, spending the night is another.
Wow so many people saying no my daughter’s 17 on the pill and uses protection , her and her bf have regular sleepovers whether its at his house or ours , she’s not stupid and knows the repercussions of what can happen , just because you had a kid at 18 doesn’t mean she will, i had my oldest at 16 and I’m damn sure my daughter won’t go down that path as I’ve been honest and open about life from the start
Tell her if she’s old enough to have her boyfriend over, she’s old enough to move out and get her own place.
Make sure shes on birth control
You can always say no but, you can’t protect her from anything. She’s 18 and makes her own decisions. She’s just gonna go elsewhere and have sex.
Ur house ur rules. If u dnt feel comfortable then dnt allow it. But if shes asking for him 2 stay more than likely they are already having sex, just make sure she is on birth control
It’s a no for me .He can stay the night after he gets his own place and marries her.They’re not guaranteed to be together forever and letting him stay the night will open a can of worms.I know because my mom used to let my bfs stay the night lol
Stay the night…
Nope. No staying over. 6 months, 1 year, they have to get their own place. I will never make my daughter that comfortable.
My parents had strict rules!
My daughter still lives at home. She’s 22. The answer will always be hell to the NO.
Sleep them in separate rooms if they respect that then that’s cool I mean she did ask after 6 months it should be sweet
If she’s going to “ do it” if that’s what your worried about she’s going to “ do it “ somewhere else , let him stay , in the lounge room or another bedroom , don’t think she will make the choices as you trust her , talk to her and him , I’m 60 and my parents allowed my boyfriend to stay we’ve been married 40 yrs and didn’t have to get married my parents trusted us it worked ! Good luck
Good on her for being honest enough to ask you, you must have a great mother/daughter relationship! She’s 18 and I’d much prefer my teenager to be safe under my roof, than in the back of a car etc! Whether you allow it or not, they’ll find other ways! Have a chat about forms of birth control etc and appreciate the fact that she has been honest with you…not all teenagers are!!
If she doesn’t contribute financially in any way, your rules, your house. I’d look at the maturity aspect of it more than anything. Not even the whole sex thing. My thoughts would be: Do they work or are they college students that show if things happen, they’ll be more prepared for the future if a baby does come along and potentially responsible people? What kind of person is he, do you like him and is he nice to her? I might ask her if she’s on birth control even though it may not be any of my business, just to see where things are at. Otherwise, if she contributes financially, she’s a roommate and can make her own choices for the most part and she most definitely should ask since your are the “owner” of the home.
I was at 18 as well , good bad or ugly, we all do it our way, so blessing or not they probably have/will anyway. The thing is it’s your place and you can say yes no there, up to you
She is 18… let her live. Just make sure to remind her of all the precautions and all that good stuff.
I thank God and my 25 yr old daughter that I never had these kind of concerns.
She’s 18, she’s going to do what she wants. Either at your house or his. Take her to get birth control immediately and have a long conversation with her. Not much more you can do because she’s going to do what she wants to do anyway
Ha… I’m 38 and my parents wouldn’t let me and my bf sleep in the same bed if we had to visit
I mean, my mom let me stay at my boyfriends house when I was 18 and still living with her (got my own apartment at 18, 3 days before I graduated high school in May and I turned 18 in February) and I only stayed with him because I shared a room with my sister. Buuuut, I did get knocked up at 18, 4 months before I turned 19, so not really a great example…
That is a little inappropriate of him even wanting to stay the night. The answer is no my house my rules. If they want to have fun rent a hotel room.
When I was 18 all I wanted was my moms support and to listen… but sometimes parents forget that just because their kids turn 18 they dont have to parent them anymore. FYI we are parents for the rest of our lives. Not when the child turns 18 or they move out. Put yourself in her shoes. Yes she may be 18 and old enough to move out but then again are you ready to kick her out? If not then talk to her about it and come up with a decision together. Its a crucial time for her right now because she’s learning independence. Teach her like you wanted to be taught so that she doesn’t follow in your footsteps but she surpasses them and becomes successful. Goodluck love!
Why not better they are under your roof be open and honest about your expectations
Tell her if they wanna play house then go pay for a house
I let my 18 year old daughters boyfriend stay over but I went and got her a iud as soon as I knew she was sexually active I mean she would have just went to his house if I said no so… she is 18 she can make decisions
I would say yes. She is 18, just make sure she is being safe and be honest with her and tell her your worries.
Your house your rules. He can stay but he needs to sleep in another room or on the couch 🤷
1st. daughter obviously cares … she asked to have him over … you have the power to set the tone/mood of this situation right now. how are you gonna choose to handle your daughter? kind. gentle. conversation. and keep your relationship in tack or are you gonna go in hot and heavy. angry. threating. and cause unnecessary drama?
2nd she’s 18. why not? i hope by the time that my children are 18, i can trust them to use the knowledge I’ve tried to instill in them to make the best decisions. sex = baby, most likely. I’d hope that in todays world, she has had the sex talk, a couple years ago.
3rd. all these people stating that you should kick her out or "she can go else where " ok. sure. whatever works for them. however, I’d never say that to my child. as someone who’s been in this predicament, choose honest communication over threats & pushing your child away. she’s 18. alot of growing up to do still but, be there for her in the transition from young lady to womanhood.
Just say no. He can visit but cant stay over.
My parents never had a problem with letting me and my sister have boyfriends stay over, they knew where we were and were safe when we were at home. Obviously Mum talked to us about contraception and being careful… They only really had to “worry” about my younger sister though because most of the boyfriends I brought home sisters would of had more luck with me but I digress lol. You can’t stop her from having sex, she will wherever that may be, just chat to her and set a few boundaries…maybe allow her to have him over at weekends but not in the week for instance.
When she moves out he can stay the night with her
Get him a list of jobs to do. If he want to use your hospitality then make use of him. Do what’s good for your family. Does she have other siblings? Work out ground rules first and stick to them. You are not a hotel, you are a home. Also if you encounter issues then you can rescind
Vonnie Kogie’sWife Jones girl we had this conversation… read those damn replied… 18 ain’t grown grown… lmao
The first funny part is that you think she’s a virgin at 18. But also you can be cool with stuff and be made aware or you can be not cool about it and she will do stuff behind your back. Give that kid a condom and tell her to fuck him up lmao
What is your concern ?
That he moves in ?
That she has sex ?
What is the real issue
We let our 18 yr old daughter and her bf stay at our vacation house together. She’s on birth control and they are each other’s firsts and they use protection… my kids and I talk very openly.
I allow my 17.5 yr daughter old to have her gf stay the night here together but they are not sexually active.
Now my 14 yr old daughter and 12 yr old daughter that’s a big no lol
18-yr. old daughter is more worldly than you were at that same age. Be truthful with your daughter. If you are uncomfortable with the idea, say so and why. They may be having sex regularly, or not at all. I slept with my intended in my home before marriage and I was 22. My parents did not object.
Personally I would, I no most people will say no, but I wasn’t allowed my boyfriend stay over, I jusr found somewhere else to have sex anyway, I got pregnant at 18 however I didn’t no I was pregnant for 6 months, yes the peognancy thing was Mt fault not my parents but I would rather my kids be safe under my roof than do what I did ans found random places
If in the U.K. then at the moment due to the restrictions he shouldn’t be staying over for a night stay! If he is to move in then refer to Sue Hynes excellent advice.
Um first of all no!!! If they want to play house they need to get their own place
Jesus lord, these comments. Just let her live her life. If they don’t have sex at your place, they’re just gonna do it somewhere else (if they haven’t already). And asking him to stay over doesn’t automatically mean that either.
Make her sleep with u for the night lol
18 years old is grown as far as the Law goes, but whoever’s paying bills in your house is the Law. If she has a job or is going to school trying to do something for herself, ok maybe I would consider it.
No way. If he doesn’t have his own place and they can’t afford a room then not my problem.
As hard as it feels right now knowing that your daughter wants her boyfriend to sleep over, I actually think she is being Adult for asking you to let her boyfriend sleep over. I let my daughter’s boyfriend sleep over, as I’d rather her be at home than having sex in the back of a car or somewhere that was not safe and that’s when I feel accidents happen… I can’t tell you what to do but I feel you should be proud of your daughter for being honest with and asking you for permission to have her boyfriend sleep over…
Just say no if you’re uncomfortable with it. She can have him stay at her place when she gets one.
Talk to your daughter about your concerns. Hopefully she is smart enough to use protection if they are ready for sex.
But honestly, if you are worried about sex, they will go elsewhere if you say no to him staying over.
Hard decision to make. Good luck
Stick to your guns. Respect…of you…of your home…you give them that control… you’ve lost control of your HOME. Make them get married if they want to “play house”.
She needs to have her own place if she wants to have sleep overs with her bf , my mom let me have sleep overs with boys at 15/16 and I wish she hadn’t . Be a mom first and friend second , she might hate you now for it but in the future she will understand
If that happens, he is going to stay over aaalllll the tiiiiime! You may have to start charging him rent, too! Is he 18, still in education?
Do you approve of him? Is so, maybe set some limits. 1night a week…? I’d be weird about it…
At least she is telling you if you say no they possibly she will get with him elsewhere it would be best to allow it but remind her of the possible problems you had her at 18 are you sad you did ?
She can have him over when she gets her own place, your house shouldn’t be used as a flop house. She should respect your decision. My girls never had a boy stay at my house ever !
No is a complete sentence .
Either u let them make sure they have protection or she runs off and does it with or without protection ur call its gonna happen regardless…
No. Its your house.
Nothing to do with sex. They can do that when you are not around. If you feel uncomfortable its not right for you.