My 4-Year-Old Has Been Looking Up Inappropriate Things on YouTube: Advice?

Motherhood
1

shutterstock_1706632357
shutterstock_17066323571000×667 680 KB

QUESTION:

"My four-year-old son has started looking up inappropriate videos on YouTube.

He’ll do the talk to text and say ‘people showing their butts’ or ‘baby in mommy’s belly.’ He knows it’s wrong because when I catch him he jumps and starts apologizing over and over.

We’ve told him those things are not for kids. And before you ask, he is literally never out of my sight. We basically never leave the house due to COVID. I’m wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and if anyone has any advice. Thank you!"

RELATED QUESTION: Is My 11-Year-Old Daughter Too Young for a Phone (We’ve Had Issues with Devices Before)?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

shutterstock_796181431
shutterstock_7961814311000×667 850 KB

“Why does a 4 yr old have a device and internet access?!?! Jeez try entertaining your kid - read him a storybook, take him outdoors, teach him colors and numbers.”

“I would hesitate to tell a 4-year-old that being curious about what butts look like or babies in bellies is “bad”. I think kids are curious. Maybe invest in some relevant age-appropriate books about those subjects and limit access to computers to time intentional activities like a movie or a game. I’m not sure surfing the internet is a super great idea for a 4-year-old.”

“How about you watch your kid while they play with the internet or don’t let them play at all. Simple. I honestly can’t believe it’s a hard choice for you to make. Be a bloody responsible parent and don’t rely on the internet to raise your kid”

“#1 I agree he is too young for the internet. Period. But #2, find an age-appropriate video to explain these things to him. He is obviously curious and the more you push aside or deny him and answer, the more he is going to try to get one without you there to guide him.”

“Well first don’t shame him or he will always hide things from you because you overreact. He’s curious. He’s not being bad or inappropriate.”

“Really not that inappropriate. Butts are funny and he’s clearly curious about babies in mommies’ tummies. Maybe ask why they like watching that stuff. But 4 is young to have control of what they are wanting to watch.”

“I don’t see what he is looking up his bad. I don’t see how what he looked up was inappropriate.”

“Nothing you said here is inappropriate. Relax before you give him an unhealthy complex about butts and pregnant women.”

“Yeah, quit giving your four old access to youtube. My 9- and 11-year-olds only have access to youtube kids.”

“Sounds like a kid. Maybe try explaining things to him. Babies in mommy’s belly are way different than people showing butts though. One sounds like a kid trying to be funny, explain why it’s not. The other sounds like a genuine interest in pregnancy and where babies come from. Explain it to them.”

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

118 Likes
2

Parental control… my 4 year old can only get on YouTube for kids…

8 Likes
3

There is a kids YouTube app that doesn’t have any of those videos on it

1 Like
4

Parental controls and set screen time limits if necessary.

1 Like
5

Yeah, quit giving your four old access to youtube. My 9 and 11 year old only have access to youtube kids.

12 Likes
6

Stop letting a 4 year old use YouTube.

12 Likes
7

Parental control…or, take the IPAD away completely until he can make better choices and be responsible

3 Likes
8

Take his electronics as punishment…then set up parental control. Link it into your phone so you know exactly what he is watching.

4 Likes
9

You can use parental passwords or delete YouTube and only allow him on the kids Youtub

4 Likes
10

Take the tablets away

5 Likes
11

Apparently he is out of your site or he would not have been able to look anything up. Stop letting him on YouTube. They make kidstube

4 Likes
12

Delete YouTube completely. We have gone through this issue too

1 Like
13

Baby in mommy’s belly I wouldn’t say is bad - talk about it with him , ask him why he’s looking for that

Parental control though defo , there is a kids YouTube you can put on which blocks loads of stuff x

4 Likes
14
  1. They make a kids YouTube and usually an app for kids that doesn’t allow bad stuff and you control the apps they have access too and all.
  2. Why is looking a baby in mommy’s belly bad?
  3. Why is he looking up people showing their butts? 4 year olds learn that behavior, it doesn’t just show up on its own. Did he see dad watching porn? Was he exposed to something in a show or movie? This is something that needs to be addressed swiftly, but delicately. He needs to know that naked bodies are completely natural and normal, but that the internet does not always portray them that way or portray them in natural states so you prefer he ask you if he had questions about educational material on the body. There are great resources out there for this.
13 Likes
15

Uh are you just not parenting him then? You say you’re with him all the time…but yet he still does this. So start limiting what he can and cannot have access to. I can see the butts being inappropriate. But why is a pregnant woman inappropriate?

2 Likes
16

My boys did that as well, they are 7 and 8. I told them if they are curious about something to talk to their dad or myself and then they lost YouTube privileges until they can not be inappropriate :person_shrugging:

4 Likes
17

We are ruining our kids with too much devices. When a kid starts kindergarten they should only be using the device for school. Make them play outside. Use their imaginations to create play.

8 Likes
18

Kids youtube, parental controls

1 Like
19

Kids are curious creatures and the internet allows for vast opportunities to look anything and everything up. YouTube for Kids is great once you set it up. I have passcodes set up and regular YouTube is not available (we have an Amazon Fire Tablet though, with a profile page just for my son. Anything else is locked and unable to access).

1 Like
20

Maybe you should just take it from him since he can’t use it appropriately

4 Likes
21

Just saying YouTube Kids sucks.
I personally had an experience where my child was watching it and picked a Barbie video and in this video two of the “little sister Chelsea” dolls were in the bath flashing each other and the “Mom Voice” in the background was saying “it’s okay” and “it’s fun to flash and be silly”. Sooo I would steer clear of those too.
My 3.5 year old watches the PBS video app. That’s it. If he wants to do something else there’s the PBS games app :wink::grin: Or he can just put the phone down and find something else. :blue_heart:
ETA- I was right there which is how I heard it. I picked it up right away, reported the video and deleted the app. We’ve been Mr. Rogers-ing it ever since. No regrets.

6 Likes
22

It honestly sounds like he is curious and that is normal and natural but he should come to you not the electronic device. Please don’t let the kids on YouTube only my teenager can use YouTube.

3 Likes
23

Keep him off youtube or get kids youtube

2 Likes
24

I would hesitate to tell a 4 year old that being curious about what butts look like or babies in belly’s is “bad”. I think kids are curious. Maybe invest in some relevant age appropriate books about those subjects and limit access to computers to time intentional activities like a movie or a game. I’m not sure surfing the internet is a super great idea for a 4 year old.

35 Likes
25

If hes using talk to text . Hes obviously out of your sight if you dont hear him. Take the tablet away. Punish for bad behavior. YouTube kids

1 Like
26

The child’s too young for internet especially YouTube

12 Likes
27

There are some amazing videos on youtube I’d definitely be putting controls on it. But at 4 I’d stick with the kids youtube. The pregnancy one in itself it’s not appropriate but what can be found in that type of search definitely can get inappropriate.

28

Take the devices off him, he’s not old enough to have it and be responsible

1 Like
29

I dont see what he is looking up his bad. I dont see how what he looked up was inapropriate.

7 Likes
30

Put a password on the device so it won’t work for him. Little kids are extremely curious and the behavior needs to be corrected.

3 Likes
31

Take the tablet away

2 Likes
32

Delete YouTube for sure. I have every restriction possible on it and my son (5) ended up watching the “come play” horror movie commercial🤦🏼‍♀️ It has messed him up and I feel awful. Hasn’t been online since (about two weeks) and he’s doing better but that was a big wake up call… ugh.

33

Delete the YouTube app?

1 Like
34

YouTube parental control and obviously he is curious so buy some books and talk with him. I was told the more you teach them the less curious the are thus the less the chances of them pulling up bad information.

3 Likes
35

Get your kid off YouTube. It’s absolute trash for children. Even without searching for iffy things.

5 Likes
36

Kids have a weird sense of humour, he probably thinks butts are funny, and maybe he’s curious about where babies come from?

Take his YouTube away or put on parental controls, and have a talk with him about why he’s searching those things :woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes
37

Too young for YouTube! Take. The. Tablet. Away! Mine doesn’t know what a tablet is and will not until she starts school and I have no choice.

38

Had a problem with my girls at start of lockdown, so went into settings and disabled the app…no more problems x

39

He just sounds curious instead of telling him off just ask why he was looking it up and see if you can answer his questions. Kids youtube is a goodie. Also remember alot of questions may come from what you yourself watch on television while hes around

1 Like
40

Have a discussion with him about his curiosities. Show him that he can and should come to you with the questions. Explain what is and isn’t acceptable use and then remove the device if he can’t use it properly. I took my son’s tablet away for a whole year because I caught b him searching for things that he shouldn’t have (he was several years older though).

1 Like
41

Yes… I take the tablet when I found my kids watching inappropriate videos. Put a child appropriate setting… (sorry cant think if what its called). Also kidstube is child friendly and has videos for kids( but still monitor because hackers)

42

Either use the kids YouTube that has much less of the bad videos or take him off YouTube. In my opinion, he’s too young for YouTube by himself. However, if you have an iPad you can set up a “lock” screen where they can’t exit out of the screen it’s on without a passcode. I’m sure other devices have something similar. Also, i wouldn’t explain to him those things are bad, but that he should come to you and ask questions and you can explain them. He’s only 4 so he doesn’t fully understand even if he jumps and apologizes. We program kids to automatically apologize when they do something wrong, but they don’t understand why it’s wrong or really understand the apology.

3 Likes
43

I’ve dealt with this you need an app lock or somehow limit time on YouTube maybe download YouTube kids instead and put a blocker on the regular YouTube unfortunately YouTube does not allow you to block certain videos you can but it’s really simple to undo it most kids can figure it outI have been fighting this fight for at least 10 years now I wish the best of luck to you

44

There a kids YouTube
Although my kids just watch videos of other kids playing

45

Definatly get the kids you tube u can set it to his age

46

Do not give him the freedom to search those things.

He’s 4 so he likely isn’t seeking sexual content , in my opinion he’s a bit young to assume that- but because of how YouTube works he will surely come across some if he is searching that way.

I would 100% just monitor all YouTube time. Turn the mic off so he cannot search independently.

2 Likes
47

#1 I agree he is too young for the internet. Period. But #2, find a age appropriate video to explain these things to him. He is obviously curious and the more you push aside or deny him and answer, the more he is going to try to get one without you there to guide him.

6 Likes
48

Talk to him about his curiosity… it’s better to talk about it then get him in trouble for trying to find the answers himself.

1 Like
49

He’s too young for YouTube. :woman_shrugging: Get YouTube kids. It has age restrictions on it.

1 Like
50

For a moms group you all are a bunch of bullies. She was looking for advice not demeaning comments about her parenting. Clearly she cares or she wouldn’t be asking.

14 Likes
51

In my opinion take him off YouTube and give him kids YouTube as it only for kids playing and teaching them colours and numbers :slightly_smiling_face:

52

Dont give him any access to social media or electronic devices make his ass do leap frog games

53

I sit and watch with my kiddo when she is using YouTube. I am not ready to give her free reign yet.

54

Theres utube for kids also u can put parental control on it!!!

1 Like
55

Put parent control on

56

I told my son, when I caught him looking at butts and boobs at the age of 6, that if I caught him one more time I was deleting YouTube from the tablet. He deleted it right in front of me and was only able to watch YouTube kids.

57

Personally a 4 year old should not be stuck in front of an electronic anyway maybe 30 minutes to and hour of something to help them learn like educational videos and such but even that should be supervised

1 Like
58

Youtube kids has way less inappropriate videos

1 Like
59

There is a you tube just for kids. Block the regular one

60

Maybe turn off the talk to text feature?

61

My son did this so I removed the youtube app from his tablet. Problem solved. :woman_shrugging:t2:

62

I’m confused why baby in mommy’s belly is bad? I get the first one but not the second…

6 Likes
63

I would sit down and talk to them and just ask them why they are looking that up. It could be as simple as he saw a movie one time that had a line that said butts and he is trying to find the movie or just the word butt is stuck in his head. I would take away the tablet for the rest of that day and just try and explain to them that they don’t need to be looking that stuff up because they haven’t listen that it’s time for a time out from it. They are only 4 so in will be a lot of repeating. Like before you give it to them just kindly remind them that we don’t look up things that are not appropriate. They are still learning. Just be constant with the reminders and taking it away when they do something not appropriate.

Also to it is physically impossible to watch your children 24/7. God forbid she wants to pee or get a drink or eat or do housework. She is asking for help.

2 Likes
64

He’s 4 take the iPad away

5 Likes
65

Get YouTube kids and set age appropriate on it. I did for my grandson. Now I get notification for anything he does.

2 Likes
66

My 6and 8 year olds aren’t allowed on you tube … Strick internet rules…

67

My daughter is 7 and uses youtube kids or shes on kid websites like PBS, cartoon network, Disney ect. With her tablet I have a parent control if she wants to down load an app it goes right to my phone for an approval first. It’s hard to do anything with covid and with it starting to get cold so I understand cant really do or go anywhere so electronics it is.

4 Likes
68

Get the YouTube for kids app!

69

Stop letting your 4 year old on an iPad & take it away, let them play with toys & be a child

2 Likes
70

My son (now 8) did the same thing! Even baby in the belly. We did put controls on you tube however they have material sneaky enough for children to get access too. We had an issue with jeffy sml (puppets) that are misbehaved teenagers and had no idea he was watching these until we did a search. We wound up locking youtube bc we dont want him stumbling across content that is inappropriate.

71

I mean, he needs to lose all access to youtube. Only kids youtube for now.

2 Likes
72

My 10 yr old has been drawing penis pictures. We found his stash while cleaning out his room last weekend. :person_facepalming:

73

Take YouTube away completely :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

1 Like
74

The question is what is a 4 year old doing with electronics?

1 Like
75

Don’t let him on YouTube unsupervised?

76

He’s 4…take the device away, remove the YouTube app, use YouTube for kids or disable voice commands

5 Likes
77

Give him other options - tell him what he CAN say or do. We need to start young teaching them about the internet as it is part of everyday life now.

78

Do only YouTube kids, also pbs kids app is free and has the appropriate cartoons.

79

4 year olds are naturally curious, mama. I’d limit him to YouTube kids, and then I’d ask him why he’s looking those things up. He may have questions that he’s not sure how to ask, or he may just think butts are funny (at that age, anything related to butts, poop, underwear, farts, etc is exceptionally hilarious). I would try my hardest NOT to make him feel ashamed for looking those things up, but explain that if he has questions about anything that he can come to you. And then answer his questions in the best, age appropriate way you can. If he’s made to feel embarrassed by looking these things up, he’s going to hide it when he does, instead of coming to you for answers.

1 Like
80

Parentel control app.

81

Take it away , he’s not too young to learn that an IPad is a privilege.

5 Likes
82

My son is 4 years old and autistic. He is on YouTube whenever he can be. He uses it as a learning tool to help him communicate. Its helped my son alot. I never had the issue with him going through bad videos but im subscribed to so many childrens things that its hard to find any bad. Id say as someone who also has a child who loves youtube either parental control or get the kids app.

83

Then stop giving him you tube

84

They have YouTube for kids

4 Likes
85

We use YouTube Kids only and I always lock my phone so he can’t leave that app.

1 Like
86

If you aren’t tech savvy enough to figure this out on your own, why are you letting your child on electronics you don’t know how to control? Disable voice control and put up parental controls.

6 Likes
87

Yea how about you just not give your 4 year old a tablet . Then boom problem solved !

3 Likes
88

YouTube kids has parental controls and I blocked YouTube on everything.

2 Likes
89

Caught my son watching videos of people hurting animal’s. Honestly spend enough time on it and it’s gonna recommend something wack, its not ment for kids. Just a risk we run. Pretty typical experience

1 Like
90

I put age restrictions on all my children’s devices and back up through our wifi. If he’s doing that at four I would not allow him access at all unless supervised and definitely only kids YouTube.

3 Likes
91

Sounds like a kid. Maybe try explaining things to him. Babies in mommys belly is way different than people showing butts though. One sounds like a kid trying to be funny, explain why it’s not.
The other sounds like a genuine interest in pregnancy and where babies come from. Explain it to them.

5 Likes
92

Parental control & delete YouTube

1 Like
93

Love all these judgy ass comments. Mama just use YouTube kids itll stop him from finding any of it. Also hes a little boy who thinks butts are hilarious. All kids are like that, male or female. Also PBS kids is pretty awesome.

94

Wow, the shaming in this post is disgusting. This is why the world is fucked up… and someone has to ask anonymously… because y’all are up on your high horse judging while someone is asking for help. Shame on y’all.

95

Put him in school to keep his mind busy

96

He sounds like a 4 year old curious child. I’d ask him if he wants to talk about those things and if he has any questions. Show him mommy approved pictures of whatever he’s curious about. Then delete YouTube and just offer the kids version.

2 Likes
97

Ever think of removing his device -or put a parental lock on it ?

4 Likes
98

I think on tablets they have parental controls my kids have it on their tablets and are limited to what they can watch and what they cant watch.

99

Why is looking up baby in mommy’s belly bad? The butt one is weird but two completely different things.

2 Likes
100

Give him a book or puzzles :woman_shrugging:t4: