My 6 year old is angry all the time: Thoughts?

My 6yo is just angry ALL the time. I talk with him, says nothings wrong. Ask if he’s having trouble at school with friends, nope says everything is great. He asked how the work is (legitimately worried he’s bored), and he loves it. But the second something doesn’t go his way; he screams this is the worst day ever, stomps off to his room, and slams the door.So talking doesn’t work. Yelling doesn’t work. I ive took away his devices, no change. I spent multiple days in a row bending backward to do anything and everything he wanted without a breather for myself because I thought he needs more attention, but still no. I feel like I’m out of options for him, I’m exhausted, im crying about it… he’s such a smart kid but I can’t handle this.

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What do his teachers say? Is he any extracurricular activities that could serve as an outlet?

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Take him to a children’s psychiatrist for an evaluation

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Have you thought of therapy?

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Sounds like my 14 year old with the exception of slamming doors. With my daughter I’m thinking therapy so she can learn to express herself. She too says nothing is wrong. But since she’s older comes to a point that she says she does not know how to express what she’s thinking. So my best best is taking her to therapy.

Gonna take years. Be patient and dont yell, it will get worse. Been through it but was emotionally exhausting. He needs help and it wont happen with anything but talking and encouraging reflection over and over. If I had to do it over again I would take my kids to hypnotherapy and let them learn control skills and relaxation.

Does he eat sugar/ Have you tried ignoring him.

Preteen changing over to a teenager his hormones are going crazy this will pass just give him time and don’t put so much thought out there and stop looking for something to be wrong . Gone through this a few times myself first time I was just like you and driving myself crazy till his pediatrician talked to him alone then informed me to relax it’s apart of growing up.

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I am going through this with my 10 year old son. He was diagnosed with disruptive behavior disorder

Have you tried playing with him? Go for a walk. Go fishing. Do something just the 2 of you. Don’t ask a million questions. Let him feel close to you and listen to him.

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Start giving him other options to take out his frustration. Tell him if he is mad or frustrated he may go to his room an use his pillow/mattress to scream into/ punch then come back to the situation. But that you won’t allow the behavior he is exhibiting.
You may not know the cause. HE may not know the cause. But you can give him healthy boundaries and different ways to handle the intense emotions.

Sounds like DMDD- diagnosis @ 6yrs old

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He’s 6. Not a teen, not a preteen. Unless he’s got some weird thyroid or pituitary issue going on chances are hormones aren’t involved.
Yeah, talk to the school. Teacher(s) AND the school counselor. Ask the counselor to monitor for a while, step out on the playground and observe him on the playground. Sit in on a class or two.
Have the doc double check for food allergies if you think maybe it is a factor. Is he sleeping alright? Watch him sleep. Is he restless? Wake up a lot?
Amanda Helton Jenkins is correct about spending quality QUIET time with him. Don’t push with questions.
You say when he “doesn’t get his way” or whatever way you said it. Has he had unrealistic expectations of being catered to before now? If not by you then other family members?
Are all grandparents and family not spoiling him rotten behind your back and so he’s frustrated if you don’t?
At 6 his social circle is only just begun, but you never know. Friends that get away with murder by acting up, he sees it work on his friends parents so figures he’ll try it with you.
The point is, there’s any number of reasons WHY it’s happening, and it will likely take a process of elimination to pinpoint.

Sounds like a case of bullying, my grand daughter is 9 and was acting in a similar way, she was being bullied at school.

Don’t know if you have tried telling him how you feel and how his behavior makes you feel sometimes we are extremely worried about something being wrong with our kids we forget we are human to. I know my kids were acting spoiled and not appreciative of things I do for them and after I literally cried and said it really hurts my feelings when they show lack of respect and appreciation for all they have and how other kids don’t have all the things they do and that I work hard for it they changed.

Have you tried getting him tested for autism or ADHD?

Maybe check for ADHD c that is exactly how my daughter acts

Ignore him completely for at least two solid weeks (by this I mean all negative behaviors). Do NOT give in. Or give him choices and put the ball in his court. "If you choose to yell and slam the door, or you can go without electronics of any kind for the next week. If you choose to stay in your room, calm down, and talk out what’s bothering you then we can work out a way everyone is happy. Do this with everything. He’s not always going to like the choices presented. Too bad. Make your choice. If he refuses then STICK TO THE CONSEQUENCE. Always have a positive choice you’d like to see him take and the negative choice that he is currently choosing. Then pair those with positive and negatives consequences. If you do A then good will happen. If you continue to choose B then negative will result. Always use “choice” and “you” so it puts his behavior back on him but also gives a chance for him to feel in control/have the choice and have opportunity to do better.

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I’d talk to his teacher and see if there are any problems at school. If not, then I think he’s playing a bit of the manipulation game. Don’t look for a diagnosis when it might not be necessary. If he’s OK at school, then he’s probably just testing boundaries at home

My son is the same way and I’ve taken him to a pediatrician who has now referred him to a specialist for that kind of behavior. Try doing that it may help

My nephew had emotional issues when he was young and found out that he was allergic to red food coloring. It literally changed his personality in a drastic way.

My son is nearly 6 and like this too, he can be lovely playing, including his little sister in games etc as soon as something doesnt go his way he lashes out towards her physically, tells me and her he hates us and he doesnt want a mum etc I’ve tried so many different things. I even tried to have him tested for a behavioural problem but wasnt enough evidence to suggest there was one, his hearing tests even came back clear :upside_down_face: his teacher says he seems fine at school he just has a very short attention span!

Firstly as a mother and a grandmother. Well done you Trying everything and reaching out for help.
What a great mum :clap:t3:
Kids go through this and it may be his personality.
Here’s some things that may help.

  • I’m a fan of walking children back from school or a trip to the park after school . To blow off some energy after having to sit mostly in one place and do as they are told all day.
  • Be clear about his responsibility in the house ( chores)
  • Behaviour.
  • Mums time.
    Have reward for chores done and consequences for unexceptionable behaviour. I agree with with drawing toys .
    But consequences are the key.
    ‘ To get them back you must do…’ make it one thing and make it clear. Then leave them to do it. Allow sulk time!
  • This is my top tip. When you put your child to sleep ( even teens) tell them some thing you like about them. Or something they did that day.
    Then ask ‘ what was your worst and best thing today. ‘
    Do it in this order.
    It gives them a time to learn how to vocalise their feelings and you a chance to learn about your child.
    Good luck.
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Here for the comments because my 6 yr old has a bad attitude and anger issues also.

My 7 year old daughter are like this. I left relationship was in improved 100 percent. And honestlu is anger from parents. Where they learn it sadly

Call his pediatrician.

Is he angry at himself…good possiblity… ask him see what he says got be something that hes mad at. Is he mad at another person like father grandma grandpa

Sit down and take him in your arms and just hold him.

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Haha meet my 5 year old demand daughter

That was my 6 year old. I’m learning to parent him way differently from his sister. He is so sensitive we’ve had to teach him techniques to calm down and think rationally. He was loose man lol.

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My oldest is 7 hes angry alot but we have gone through alot I just try to let him know im here and let him know if he ever needs to talk im all ears its a push and pull concept I’m starting to feel its a phase but we have days we make progress and days we dont but just breathe you’ll get us moms are all in this together!

I was an angry child ended up going to anger management as an adult even. Honestly therapy did help. I think I was 9 when I first went and I really did like it after a few visits. I’d really recommend it and most insurance companies cover it

My oldest flies off the handle easily. She just turned 11. I have finally gotten thru to her with talking, giving her a few min to calm down then going in her room and sitting with her and being calm myself, asking what made her feel like that, and sometimes you have to tell them it’s OK to be mad about stuff. Adults get mad but so do kids, and it’s OK. Telling them their anger is justified helped my daughter calm down and we were able to discuss better ways to handle it. Now she’ll tell us she needs a minute, takes a breather, and we can talk. Honestly, all my kids have this sometimes, and once I tell them I understand why they’re mad and it’s OK to be mad or upset they calm quicker. Good luck momma!!

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Man aren’t we all feeling like screaming and throwing a fit? Here in Washington you can feel the tension and stress in the adults around you. You’re kids are feeling that too.
One of my four kids were challenging and sometimes all I could do was cry with her!

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He doesn’t know what to do with what he is feeling. My kids, especially the boys (3) went through this. They don’t know how to vocalize what’s going on in their heads. Hugs and talking about appropriate reactions and how to talk about it, works. It does take time though.

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At his age its really common - they have poor emotion regulation and don’t know how to express themselves. When he is not upset, practice some techniques to help calm him while explaining that these should be used when he starts to feel upset. I made my daughter a “calm down kit” with tons of ways to help her calm down such as a coloring book and crayons, putty (to squeeze), note cards (telling her to count to ten, take deep breaths, get a drink of water, do ten jumping jacks, do yoga poses) - there are tons of other ideas for this online. She also has a sensory water bottle with water and glitter in it and when she gets upset, she shakes it and just watches the water and glitter swirl around (also have varying ideas of this online). There are also emotion regulation workbooks you can buy which help too. They key is to interfere and help him calm down right when you notice him getting upset; if he is already in a tantrum, just leave him be and encourage him to engage in a calming task (though he may not be receptive). Therapy can also be really helpful with this, if you can make that work.

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No idea how to help but just to say I understand. My 6 Yr old is very fiery and flys off the handle very quickly. She started this new thing in lockdown where she would take herself of to her bedroom and talk to herself then call me or daddy in to her to tell us she always ruins everything. Sometimes we didn’t even know what she was on about. We just gave hugs and tried to discuss it through with her. She has a very short fuse and it really does not take much for her to lose it. I guess that’s her way of venting and letting her thoughts and feelings out. Parenting is the hardest job in the world but very rewarding when it goes right. Try and remember the good times and let the bad roll out to history xx

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My 5 year old did that. I just calmly sat him down and told him he is allowed go feel all his own feelings. Then we worked on positive ways to relieve some of his stress and anger. Like if he feels he needs to yell and scream, go do it in a pillow. If he needs to throw something or slam something, go get the basketball and see how high you can bounce it. And if he really needed to direct it at somone, told him to do it to me. Then go get a breather and apologize. Its okay to have his feelings, whatever they may be, how he handles them is what needs work

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I am not saying he has ADHD or ODD, but might be a good idea to have him tested. My son just turned 7. He still has some rages, but not nearly as terrifying as when he was 5. He is changing for the better, but he is medicated too. When he is off his meds he’s still pretty good, but he can be super annoying and bounces off the walls. My son saw a child psychologist that was supposed to be the best in our area, but he was actually pretty useless. At 7 yo his Pediatrician can diagnose him with nothing or something. Behavioral Therapy could help some too. If he gets diagnosed then the school system can help with additional resources, like in home therapy.

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So, a little different perspective… My daughter was the same way… Come to find out she was being bullied BY HER FRIENDS, Carrying around her friends “problems” as of it was her responsibility to fix them… It wasn’t until she started self harming that she had a full breakdown and told me everything. So, we put her in therapy, we gave her an outlet (taekwondo). We reopened all lines of communication. Maybe he needs to talk to someone that is NOT you.

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Kids still dont know how to regulate their emotions at that age, the only thing you can really do, is keep calmly reinforcing appropriate ways to deal with their anger.

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I’m going to echo what many of the other parents on here have said: have him evaluated by a therapist. We went through something very similar with my now-15 year old, and come to find out, he was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder. He’s also gifted and has poor social skills, so there are several issues that contributed to his outbursts. I know it’s SO hard, but try not to place the brunt of the blame on him; he honestly and truly might not be able to control his outbursts. And punishing him by taking away things might just elevate the anger. (I’m certainly not saying that you should ignore the behavior, though!) But getting him tested and meeting with a counselor regularly just might be exactly what he needs to learn how to cope with his emotions. It takes time, and it’s frustrating as hell, but hang in there, Mama! It will get easier over time as he matures, too. <3

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Hang in there momma dont give up. I’ve been through something like this with my oldest son. He would have major meltdowns. I was scared to even take him to McDonald’s in fear he would have one if his fits. He’s been in and out of therapy and counseling. He’s been on medication. Becareful about the meds sometimes they get the wrong combination and it doesn’t do anything. My son is now 17. He’s the smartest most respectful young man. He still has his moments but he remembers what he was taught to control himself. Many nights I would breakdown and cry feeling like I wasn’t good enough or doing something wrong. But I stood by him and together we got through it. Dont give up. Talk to your pediatrician, they can help you get on the right track.

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My younger son was like this. I would cry with how angry and mean he would be we started therapy when he was 5. Definitely talking to someone else helped him. He was phased out by age 8. He was quite upset when they said he didn’t counseling anymore, but we explained that it was a good thing. Definitely do not bend over backwards. Stand your ground. My son is now 12, and is doing very well. Stay strong Momma

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Please look into professional help. His system is overwhelmed. Call in help. You know it’s time, that’s why you are asking for reaching out. Talk to the schools social worker. They can help immensely. Your school secretary may not even know you have a social worker, but you do. Get help now. Early intervention makes all the difference. You are not failing, this can just be really hard.

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I would definitely recommend a therapist and a psychiatrist. Six years old is pretty young to be starting that without some underlying reason. My daughter deals with depression and anxiety and she used to have both a psych and therapist when she was younger. Taught all of us so much! And when he is diagnosed, it makes things so much clearer.

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Everyone seems to forget that kids have less control over emotions than adults. It is a skill that is developed its not something that is wrong with him. I’m sure he is fine and he will grow out if it along with all the other phases kids go through. This too shall pass. You are doing a great job, hang in there momma. Sending hugs

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Intelligent kids are sometimes very hard on themselves. They want everything to be easy and perfect. My son used to get so frustrated in kindergarten because he just hadn’t matured to the point where he could handle the frustration that sometimes arises from new challenges. My advice is to talk calmly and encourage him but if his angry mood continues-then it’s time for him to go to his room until he can be more pleasant. He will learn to cope and while you need to be supportive he needs to learn to start accepting responsibility for his behavior. My son is no a senior in college - deans list for the past 2 years. Oh and he’s got an amazing attitude.

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Sounds like he is angry at you. Have a conversation with him and find out what he is not getting that he thinks he needs. And without spoiling him meet that need. Even if he does have a disorder of some kind this will still help. Also be sure you are talking to him and not at him. Remember he feels your fustrations.

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My son went through this but was a little older when it started. We took him to the doctors after trying everything that’s recommended in these situations and he was diagnosed with ODD. It can’t hurt to take him and have him evaluated.

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It’s a sign of mild autism my youngest had the same problem, it’s a cooping skill for autistic children is flash anger when things don’t happen they way they want it, look into having him or her tested it helps tremendously

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We had some issues with one of ours raging. Discussed it with his Dr, we filled out a questionnaire along with his teachers and babysitter at that time and he also had some one on one with the Dr. Got him on the right meds for his issues, and drastic improvement. Luckily we are able to choose when he takes meds and and Dr listened to us about what we did and didn’t want in a medication.

Wondering if he is this way at school as well or this just his home behavior? I would definitely seek counseling better to address it now while he is young

Your child can’t necessarily explain how he feels. And there’s so much stress right now, from so many sources. If I had to guess I’d say the child is overwhelmed with the stress. Please don’t punish this behavior right now. Teach better ways to express these feelings and cope.
Try “you know, when I feel like this i like to _______. Let’s try it together”.
Maybe look at anything he’s drawn recently to look for what’s causing it. If he hasn’t, maybe suggest drawing as something to try together.

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My 7 year old does this as well. :disappointed: I just keep telling myself he is still learning to understand his emotions and how to control him. BUT it doesn’t make it any easier. I am hoping he grows out of it soon.

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How’s his sleep?- my oldest gets like this when sleepy… also, my middle one melts if she doesn’t have a little quiet time after school/daycare, in kinder she started going to her room when she’s had a long day and just spends 10-20 minutes playing/ coloring quiet play in her room, then comes out ready to start the evening. Maybe he needs an outlet to decompress from his day. Just a little something that let’s him reset. The shift from school mode to home mode is different for each kiddo.

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when my son did this, it was anxiety. he seen a pediatric therapist and did well. they created a plan with the school guidance counselor and therapist working together for helping him

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My 6yo is like that. She’s always been the most difficult. She’s sweet and smart but when she’s full of emotions she has outbursts or shuts down. She’s been in counseling last yr and half and it helped. She has anxiety and is resistant to change.

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I’m going through exactly the same with my almost 6 year old son. Hes such a good boy but hes just always upset and taking it out on his brother and sister. Ive started to realize things that are triggers for him. First is when he wakes up too early in the morning, those are really rough days. Second is when its been too long since I’ve had a real conversation with him, played a game with him, read a book with him or gave him one on one attention (he needs this at least a few times a day in order to feel loved and paid attention to). And third is when he didnt really eat his veggies at lunch or dinner, didnt eat his fruit with breakfast, drank too much juice the day of or before, had too much candy, too many snacks etc. And fourth is when he hasn’t eaten in a while, he needs a square three meals a day and at least one healthy snack in between each meal and before bed in order to not get hangry. I know everyone is different, but these are the things I’ve noticed make bad days for my boy so maybe yours has some similar things going on! *I’m editing to add, when I notice hes starting to get angry and not follow rules or start messing with his brother or sister, I pull him aside and ask him whats going on. Usually he is able to articulate his feelings to me, and usually he’ll say that he’s hungry (one of his biggest triggers lol) so ill explain to him better ways to handle his feelings, give hugs and get him a snack or just ask him to be patient if its meal time already

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I agree with the others get him evaluated mama. It can be a whole range of things from autism to bipolar. Get him evaluated and go from there.

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At 7 years old boys get an extra surge of testosterone, give him time he will settle but if your concerned seek doctors advice

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I see a lot of comments suggesting this disorder or that disorder. I think it’s well intentioned advice but don’t get too caught up in that because he’s not been diagnosed by a professional. I just don’t want you to get scared and think it’s this or that without seeing an actual professional. Hope you find out what helps!!

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My son had these same issues. He was diagnosed with O.D.D. and I.E.D. and a few other things. Now that he is older I think he actually has B.P.D. he was just too young to get that diagnosis. I also have it. Go get him tested, and have brain scans done too. Don’t take one Dr.'s opinion either. They wanted to put my son on Ritalin right away. If it’s causing problems at school you can get him an I.E.P. (individualized education program). You can also request a self contained classroom with teachers who are trained to deal with children who have these issues.

Therapy no medication and be firm about no medication for at least 3 months. It sounds like he is holding in all negative emotions or bad ones till it boils over where he cant control his reaction. A good therapist will help him learn how to express these emotions without becoming enraged. Holding off on meds will help him actually recognize and control and if he needs them you will have a better idea of he’s baseline.

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Kids are like this now days… I have a 6 year old and he does this stuff all the time and there is not one single thing wrong with him, kids just learn to express their emotions at different times. He probably just doesn’t know how to handle it when he gets mad or upset, the same way us as adults sometimes act out of character when mad or sad. I wouldn’t go worrying he has a disorder but certainly if you feel he needs checked, only his doctor can help. Don’t be freaked out by everyone saying it’s some kind of disorder!

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I’ve dealt with something very similar and still do have some set backs with my youngest son. He’s 9 now and it has gotten better with maturity but we’re still working towards managing emotions and how to respond.

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My youngest (now 15) used to be like that. Any little thing set him off. I would always sit down and talk with him, explained to him that it’s ok to be mad or angry or upset, it’s ok to feel that way, but sometimes how he deals with it is not ok. Make sure he knows it’s always ok to feel how he does, but maybe give ideas on how he can express them better instead of yelling, screaming, throwing things or slamming doors. I did that with mine and it worked like a charm. Took a few months of those talks, but it still worked. Sometimes little ones just don’t know how to express how they are feeling, no matter how minor the reason may be.

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Wow love the way everyone has answers as if they are doctors. My suggestion is to ask your doctor and let them assess the situation. Being a special needs parent it is so important to get your doctor involved

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Maybe try videoing his behavior and then during a calm time look at it with him and discuss it. Has he seen an example some where? Maybe TV?

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I would agree with taking him to a therapist, but sounds like possible anxiety to me. Things changing has caused people in general a lot of anxiety.

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My 11 year old son is like this, he is so incredibly smart, reads at an 11th grade level etc and being that smart runs in my family, what I have noticed is that kids that have this high of an IQ a lot of times have a lower EQ and don’t really know how to interact or express themselves, try not to take it so much on yourself and just know he is who he is and as he grows older it will likely change, I know easier said than done I struggle with it myself at times, good luck to you

It could be he is just struggling to express himself correctly it happens a lot at that age. Counseling would be a great idea. If money is a issue talk to his school about seeing the councilors there. It might also be a good idea to talk to his teacher and just make sure he isn’t acting out or they aren’t seeing anything unusual going on.

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My son now 13 was like this as well. He’s a great kid who has mood swings when his basic needs aren’t met. So we make sure he’s fed and not tired. He doesn’t have outbursts like he did at 6. Might just be a phase!

Maybe look into the 5 love languages theres books.and There is a online quiz you can sit and go through with him that maybe could give you more inaight into how he feels loved the most. It could be a matter of his love tank being a bit low right now. We all show and recive love in different forms and sometimes we have to pay a little extra attention towards sertain love languages to help our kiddos. Just a thought.

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Seek out professional help, PERIOD‼️ It won’t hurt anything if you do and end up not needing it on their opinion but if you don’t you could deeply regret it later.

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My son was the same way. Active play outside did wonders for us. We played soccer (he kicked and I was goalie), tag, hide and seek, even just a simple I spy while outside. Good weeks earned them the chance to pick the menu on Fridays (I gave the option between 2 choices). Hope it smooths out for you both.

If I were mom I would have him evaluated. Get a drs opinion. Have blood work done too. It’s not normal at all for that behavior and there could be an underlying issue. Maybe mentally or medically. I wish her the best and her and her boy are in my thoughts :heart::heart:

Having a 25 year old diwn to a 5 year old, all biologically mine :slight_smile:
Maybe try zero screens…no devices… my older ones who didnt have them available…had none of these habits. They learned patience, problem solving, taking turns or compromise… my 5 year old, i saw very quickly at age 3 having a tablet for a short time, she had similar outburst, frustration and short tempered. Grounding… permanently…except at doctors appts i have to drag her to (for me) thats her only time. It took a while…but ut got way better. Kids dont need screens. They lose those VITAL social skills learned from actually dealing with others and all that life is. I hate when i use electronic babysitter…but sone if my appointments are 2 hours total and the color books snd stuff i bring get old or too heavy.

My son was angry all the time at that age. One thing that helped him was to praise him for everything he did. If he brushed his teeth with no problem it was thank you, you did great! If he was nice to his siblings I made a big deal of it. He needed positive feedback not negative because I felt like he was always getting yelled at and being disciplined. (Advice was from a professional) I know it sounds crazy and ridiculous but pointing out the positive worked wonders with my son! He is also 14 now and things have gotten much better with age. I am thinking of you because I know how hard those years were!

Maybe try sports, or art class, some way that he can express himself.

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Sounds like DMDD… Disruptive Mood Disregulation Disorder…Maybe take him to have an evaluation done and see what they think.

When my son was younger, he had ADHD with dyslexia. But he never had anger issues. He is much older, still deals with this.
Check with your pediatrician.

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My 5 year old son says the same thing! It’s always the worst day ever when he doesn’t get what he wants.

Counseling to learn coping skills. It’s hard to regulate emotions. Sometimes we just need help.

I don’t know if this would work but you could always give it a try. I read it from a psychologist. Make him"rate" the problem". Is it a small problem, medium or a big problem. He has to explain how he has classified his problem and you can tell him the difference between a “small problem and a big one”. I don’t know if I expressed myself well.

Is that a way of coping that he was exposed to?

My
Son was the same way and I had to take a long hard look in the mirror and realize that a lot of his aggressive behavior was my fault. I get frustrated easily and after so many years of watching my reactions… my son starting mirroring that.
It’s been hard to undo that damage but kids are like sponges. Do your best to create a loving peaceful environment❤️

It could be a lot of things. Or it could just be…he’s six. Definitely stand your ground about giving him everything he wants. I definitely would start out with the school counselor and see if they can talk with him. Sometimes it’s easier for kids to express themselves to someone at school. If not then talk with his pediatrician. Kids will go through phases but it’s still important to hear them. Redirect him to what’s appropriate to do when he’s angry. Some kids don’t know how to respond to things but if you teach them a different way to respond to things they will get it. It takes patience and time but remember you have to give yourself a break too. There are many ways to parent and there’s no specific way to do it. You just have to listen. Let the out burst happen, then go in and calmly sit down and hold them. You can say something like”I hear that you’re angry. How can I help you not feel so angry?” Bottom line is he is your son and you will be the one who honestly will know what’s best in the end. Hang in there mom!

I highly recommend the book ‘parenting with love and logic’. An easy, excellent read and it puts a lot in perspective.

Do you read to him at bedtime? Best way to get information! Kids love to talk then.

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Kids nowadays have no ability to deal with anything because we spoiled them so much so THERAPY soon and often. It did wonders for mine

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My grandson, who is also very smart, is ADHD and ODD. The ADHD is nothing compared to trying to handle or discipline with ODD. Sometimes while being disciplined he will grin but can’t tell you why. It is very difficult to treat but with perseverance it can be managed.

Do you or have you ever handled problems like this in front of him? Has there been a significant loss in his life? There are many reasons he could be acting like this but the first thing you should consider is children develop their problem solving skills from their parents, and at a young age. I’m not judging you, my 9 year old daughter has anger issues and when she was 6 we lost her father and my temper was extremely short during the time she would have been developing and learning her problem solving from me. The only advice I can give is to talk to him about it. Explain we all have emotions that are hard for us to control at times. Let him know anger is normal and as he gets older he will get better control of it, and let him know you’ll be by his side and help him in any way you can. Don’t make him think he’s not normal for the way he expresses his emotions, we all have different ways of doing it. The important thing is he tries his best and as he gets older he will learn better ways to control his emotions. He’s still quite young.

Sometimes a child has things going on in their lives that they will talk to a counselor and get the help they need. NOW is the time to get him some health.

Anger is a secondary emotion to what a person is genuinely feeling. When someone feels too much of a specific emotion and they are unsure how to express that emotion that is where anger comes in.
My fav quote regarding anger;
I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief.

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My son was like this takes alot if patience also schedule consistence ( meal time,bed times activities all need to be consistent anything out of the ordinary i had to tell him about prior sucked but it worked he graduated 4 yr engineering degree from fit in 3 years and has a great job a nee car payed for and a brand new house sll by the time he was 25 and all on his own so doend the time it will be worth it

Sounds silly but check his sleep quality- does he mouth breath/ snore at night? Is he tongue tied etc? Poor sleep can affect his behaviour during the day often presenting as anger and short fuse

I feel something is bothering and he doesn’t want to talk about it may be scared him if you know you can make confrontational which he doesn’t want probably bullying is going on in school or group of friends just check it out !

My son did and dose this he needs a nap when he dose this we have some good days and some bad we had a therapist things got better but my child is spolied

He may have gotten his way for a long time and things it’s okay to act the way he does I would seek help for him children sometimes talk to other people better than parents

I’d recommend therapist/counseling. It sounds alot like intermittent explosive disorder.