I have a 6-year-old, and she screams and throws tantrums like a two-year-old. I live in an apartment, and it’s extremely frustrating!!! I can’t imagine how my neighbors feel. I’m at my wit’s end. Tonight she was screaming, and I lost my temper after she starts KICKING ME! I have no idea what to do.
Whoop that ass on that note. The kicking and sceaming is a big hell no for me. Thats when the ass gets tore up, and stuck in the corner.
My 7 year old boy does this. I have a 2 year old and my 7 year old’s tantrums are worse than my 2 year old’s.
I think it’s just the age. My 6 year old has been behaving the same way and nothing we do makes a difference he just doesn’t care
Bust her butt. ( No I’m not saying beat her) My almost two and a half year old knows better than to try that with me or her dad.
Watch super nanny. She has so many great tips and things for whatever your having trouble with
I have a 16 yr old who has been explosive since he was 5. He’s been in therapy for years and it seams to help.
Pit her in time out or put her in her room and tell her when she wants to calm down and act right you will talk about what is bugging her til then and she wants to keep throwing a fit she is to stay in her room
Therapy. Maybe there’s an underlying cause for the tantrums besides just not getting her way. My 3 year old has issues and throws ridiculously aggressive tantrums thankfully he hasn’t tried to hurt anyone but himself (which we’ve been working on a lot and he’s doing better but it still happens).
Sit her down next time and talk with her calmly. Ask her why she threw a big fit. Ask her if she really needed to do it to get what she wanted. Try talking to her. And please apologize for losing your temper with her. Explain why you lost it calmly and let her know what she can do better next time. Praise her tons when she’s behaving! My oldest misbehaves a lot and it comes down to her wanting more attention from me at times. I’ve learned to explain why I’m distracted or whatever and let her know to give me just a minute to finish what I’m doing then I’m all hers and it’s been working pretty good
I would let her cry it out somewhere without toys or things she can throw maybe on the kitchen floor and she can sit there as long as it takes she is definitely old enough to know better so leave her there a long time if she won’t stay then maybe you need to up your approach but not sure what that would be, as for the neighbors a note on the door apologizing for her rude behavior some cookies maybe and let them know you are working on it
Go buy a wooden spoon and pop her bottom and thighs every-time she even thinks about a tantrum. This behavior only gets worse. Co
Take away all her toys and stuffed animals, games, movies ect. Only let her keep her necessities like clothes, bed, sheets,pillows and blankets in her bedroom. Also restrictions such as no friend time or visitors other than family members, no outings such as no going out to dinner or shopping. I know it sounds harsh for all those things being taken away at once. But she needs to know and learn her behavior is unacceptable and she will need to earn her things back slowly over time with good behavior and doing chores around the house .
Time out or groundings and stick to them and dont give in. Maybe even get her tested for behavioral issues if it continues.
I removed artificial food dyes from my daughter’s diet and it stopped this behavior.
Ignore it. Seems she knows it’s getting a rise out of you. Give her no fuel for the fire. If it seems like it’s something she can’t help, I would talk to her pediatrician and let her lead you in the right direction.
My daughter would behave like this when she was hungry or not feeling well.
Bust her ass that helps reset the brain.
Discipline is hard. Does she have any developmental delays? Like could she possibly have anything like autism? Try time out, taking her favorite toy, etc.
At this point, therapy might be a good option. My son, who is almost 5, struggles with handling his emotions. He started therapy last year, and it has done a world of good for us (and for my downstairs neighbors ). He was diagnosed with two separate things. Had I not taken him to therapy, I would never have known a) what his struggles are and b) how to effectively help him.
Like I said earlier in a comment… she is well capable of what she’s doing. Whatever she likes take it away. Games, tv, toys… make her earn it back. My kids are rarely bad or misbehave but I started discipline early on.
My son use to do this so I did research and the one thing I found to work (it’s not overnight, )was a floor mat that he had to sit on for his time out and he could not get off the mat until he was calm and asked nicely. At first it was hard I had to sit on the floor near him but no matter what he did I redirected him back to the mat I would not look or respond except to place him on the mat and start over until he started to understand that he needed to stop first and then be nice. He didn’t like me not acknowledging his bad behavior but after a while understood he got better results with nice. PM me if you need, I went through classes for troubled learners like my son. Good luck.
Try talking to her at.her level and let her know you understand her feelings
A wooden spoon to the palm of her hands or bottom of her feet. No marks left, and it stings just enough to show who’s boss. Or, you can sit her in your lap, and hold her. Wrap your arms and legs around her until she gives out. Eventually, she will learn.
Ignore it they soon stop but I wouldnt recommend smacking imagine your child telling another adult or a professional you smacked them social services will be at your door… In the UK smacking a child in any way is against the law an you can be done for child abuse… take toys, ipads/tablets away use a naughty chair, get a rewards chart… theres other ways around it…
Do you validate her feelings?
Have you talked to her doctor about it? Sounds like one of my nieces when she was little. Girls with adhd sometimes present like that and still have good grades at school, if that is the problem she might have rejection sensitivity disphoria and not be able to process her emotions very well when she feels like she’s in a safe place. My sons rejection sensitivity disphoria is insane but I adjusted his diet and and takes some supplements and he’s doing a lot better then he was
I already commented what i would do since there is a LOT of mom shaming going on, but if it were me i would spank her and explain why i did afterwards if she won’t calm down. Six is way too old to be throwing tantrums that way and if she goes to school and that behavior isnt accepted then it shouldn’t be at home either.
I just walk away from my 2 year old. She just lays on the floor and cries. She normally doesn’t have fits to offen. Just every now and again. But when she is done I give a hugs and kisses. she is speech delayed so I think alot of her issue she cant tell me what she wants so she gets frustrated and thats how she handles her stress. The best thing to do is try to remain calm and if they are hitting is to put them in a safe place and walk away until they are calm. ( nanny 911( YouTube or Facebook videos) ) I hope things get better.
Ya… I’m a firm believer of a pop to the ass my 5 yr old will try to pull the same thing, although she’s only been brave enough to try to kick at me twice, then she gets to go to her room because I won’t listen to her screaming and crying. After a short while she calms herself down, come out and says “mom I’m done with my attitude can I come out?” And then we talk like big kids about how that behavior is not ok. Feeling frustrated and upset is ok but the tantrum is not. It used to be a daily thing for a little while but now it’s only once in awhile when she has a brain fart.
Look at YOUR behavior. How do you handle being angry? Is she tired or hungry? Is she observing someone showing these behaviors who she admires? When she tries to communicate do you take time to listen to her?
Not a slam on your parenting at all but in the hustle of every day life these things can be pushed to the side and some kids can’t handle that.
Put her on time out! Grab her hand walk her to a time out spot. You sit with her on time out ( minute per age) she tries to get up put her back in to spot. Keep following through . Every time she tries to get up time starts over again. It will and does work be consistent.
My 6-year-old tried this briefly after starting daycare. I don’t negotiate with terrorists. He goes directly to his room and to bed he can kick and scream all he wants and I can’t hear him usually within 2 minutes he comes out on his own and says I’m done now
My oldest just turned 7 and he had tantrums at 6. My youngest boy just turned 6 and he does the same thing. It really is just them having BIG emotions and not knowing how to convey them to you. They both got timeouts when they acted out but I also made it a point for them to feel heard from me. Listen to what is bothering her. What makes her frustrated and help her learn how to work thru the emotions before the tantrum starts. What triggers her tantrums? These are all things I take into consideration that help my boys work things out before they have a tantrum and after.
Seriously my advice would be different at any other time, but this year has been hell for kids.
School is different, life is different…give her some grace.
Try to figure out what’s wrong that she can’t express.
Don’t stand for hitting, make her apologize, etc…but realize tantrums are typically frustration.
And everyone is frustrated right now
This is something I do with my four year old when he has really big feelings. It’s a grounding exercise I read about a while ago. Have them trace their hands starting at the middle of their palm, have them breathe in tracing their finger up their thumb and breathe out tracing back down to the centre of their hand and repeat with the rest of their fingers, it’s supposed to help focus their brain enough that it can switch from being in a state where they cant process anything except the emotions their feeling to a more logical state of thinking. It took some patience and time to be able to have him do it while he is having a meltdown we had to start with just breathing and work up from there but it works for us. Good luck mama!
Look into behavior therapy for her.
Quiet time in her bedroom
Apart from not knowing still how to fully understand how to process emotions ect maybe she needs more outdoor play…I know from experience and living in places without adequate outdoor space that children can get super frustrated…Try getting her outside more,find something for her to do that catches her interest for indoor…Talk to her calmly about her emotions and feelings and if she keeps going then time out, favourite toy goes into time out until she is good ect…
Put her on her bed every time she does it. Tell her only 1 time to stop or she’s going to her bed till she knows how to act.
Now all I have to say to my daughter is “just go to your bed if your going to act like that” and she usually straightens up.
Get her counseling and therapy. She may need extra help with emotional regulation. Hang in there! Hugs.
If shes throwing tantrums it usually means that shes not able to express herself a different way other than yelling and kicking. How do you express yourself when you’re upset with her? Sometimes kids a reflection of us and how we react to things. Its all about teaching her that yes we get frustrated but let’s sit down and talk about it. How does it make you feel. Its important for our babies to understand the different types of emotions that are there so they can specify how they feel and we can understand them. The other comment about therapy was great advice! Goodluck!
Hitting an already out of control child will only make it a bigger physical fight. You as the adult should stay calm and not react to her. Therapy is beneficial to everyone. Especially kids with big emotions and parents to help understand and communicate better with them. A therapist also knows the sighns to look for in Nero divergent kids.
They need different kinds of teaching and discipline.
I have a 10 year old who is mentally the age of a 5 year old. His tantrums turn violent. He goes to the wall for 10 minutes of quite thinking time. If he escalated from being put at the wall, he’s sent to his room to act out in there.He has broken my wrist, broken many things, attempted to stab his brother during an argument while my oldest was doing dishes, and attempted to harm the pets. He has intensive therapy and the doctor said he will soon be going to a partial program if this family-based therapist feels it’s warranted. Please, when she acts like this, do not give in. Maybe talk to the pediatrician and see if they have recommendations?
I’m not there yet with my kiddos, so I won’t say anything about parenting.
I’ll just say, Im sorry you’re stressed and at your wits end! I hope these days are soon just a memory. And I hope you’re able to get time to yourself to decompress and recharge.
A quote I will never forget is: take care of you too, because you can’t pour from an empty cup good luck momma!
My 8 year old does this too
Time out and counting/ breathing excersises is the only thing that works for my boys and one of them has the worst temper, spanking only teaches them that hitting is okay when they dont like someones behaviour so that was a massive parenting fail for me because now when they get mad they smack the person who is doing naughty things / things they dont like.
Have her assessed by a clinician - a pediatrician - she may be on the Autistic spectrum and need medication.
With my daughter I told her I hear you , I understand you are upset or angry and if she didn’t stop I told her go to your room until we can talk about it. She usually went to her room for a few minutes then came back to talk . Kids need to be heard but also need to learn to get their emotions in check.
Its usually because they don’t know how to express their emotions. I suggest talking with your pediatrician and therapy. My daughter used to have out of control tantrums. We have taught her to go to her calming area. We ignore the tantrums until she is ready to speak. Believe me at 1st they got worse but then she started realizing that she wasn’t gonna get the attention she craved. Positive or negative.
You gotta stay calm and find the root cause of her feelings.
Huggs mama. Iv been there. Keep your head up.
Never EVER had that problem…
Old school momma here…bust her ass
Kick her back there no way my child will act like that
I would honestly bring it up with your child’s pediatrician. At that age, a kid doesn’t fully know how to handle emotions and kids need extra help or coaching. Spanking is a TERRIBLE bit of advice. Hitting a kid for not being able to express what they’re really feeling is only going to escalate things even more. Validate your child’s feelings. Talk through them. This might be a bigger problem than just you and your child. Seek the extra help and please remember that no question is a stupid question. I really hope things turn around for you.
I go threw the same thing with my 5 year old boy , and he swears at your while he’s throwing a fit
Not saying it is but it could be a sign of Autism especially if other issues too
Umm, she’s only six so maybe try beating her ass! She will straighten up real quick!
tbh your frustration is likely making it worse (not your fault, we ALL do this!). she can tell that because you hate this behavior so much, it gets your attention. make sure all her needs are met first, and i don’t mean basic needs. i mean, is she tired? is she bored? is she overstimulated? does she need some one-on-one bonding time? you have to find out what is putting her on edge because believe it or not, she is probably just as stressed as you are! fortunately the source of her stress is likely simple and easy to address.
Have them sit down and write an apology letter to the neighbors. I made my son do it when he throws a fit and continuously stomps around (we are above someone)…
Spanking doesn’t work for a lot of kids, so try therapy and/or timeout. She’s either emotional or just unruly. Also, try to set a good example for her when you’re angry. Kids usually react with the same energy their parents do.
Consistent time outs, or completely ignore and walk away. 99% of tantrums are for attention. I used to look at my son and say “when you’re ready to act right and speak to me about what is bothering you I’ll be back”. Then go to another room. We had maybe 3 before he got it. Once he calmed down and told me why he was upset I thanked him for correcting his behavior. I got the behavior I wanted and he was listened to.
I no it’s hard on u if u don’t stop it now it could get worse I have a 13 year old that screams throws stuff and it’s no fun get her in to talk to someone getting ready to put mine on medication
Watch super nanny. Great resource!
Sounds like she needs a good a** whopping
As an educator, this is the best resource I’ve found to work with kids of all ages with emotions. Works on the hierarchy of needs.
Whatever you, mind your hands and do not strike the child. Therapy ain’t cheap.
Try emotional intelligence training like Video: Conscious Discipline Basics - Conscious Discipline
Help her find the tools to regulate her own emotions. They are like us. Only smaller.
Try to determine what’s causing the agitation. Food Allergies? Pain? Over stimulated? Tired?
Sounds like big emotions coming out. I have done breathing techniques with all of my kids, count to 10 or 20. Water and outside can always help. I know its cold but getting in a bubble bath may help.
Have you ignored her tantrums? Don’t feed into it, she does it because she gets a reaction out of you.
Research gentle parenting? Kids crave attention and if they don’t get enough positive attention they’ll revert to negative attention. I don’t know i don’t even have close to a toddler but it could maybe help🤷🏼♀️
Have you looked into having her evaluated or therapies? It could be a number of undiagnosed conditions. I wouldn’t be so quick to lose my patience & maybe start looking for answers.
Also acknowledge there is alot going with our kids this past year. They are facing adult issues. Try to find breathing exercises to calm her but, also take note before they happen. Is she showing signs of being stressed prior to tantrums.
Are you taking her outside daily? It’s probably pent up energy. Influence from Tv? A sudden change in your lives? Help her find some words to use when she is calm. Has something maybe happened to her recently? It could be many things, but… if something traumatized her, that could be it as well. Also limit sugar.
Tantrums work to get what she wants or she wouldn’t continue. Walk away.
They feel overwhelmed. You have to shut the fight or flight off by naming the emotions then finding what’s behind the emotions.
My daughter (5) wants to do everything on her own, her favorite is cook her own eggs. I forget and she has a meltdown sometimes. (Other times I get the mom I wanted to do that)
In response to meltdown:
I say hold on I see your angry.
Can we take a deep breath and you tell me what you need?
Then she tells me and I let her do.
Naming the emotion helps you not feel so personal about it. And you then can regulate them to normal.
As long as there’s nothing wrong medically. Spank her bottom. That’s the problem with most kids now days spoiled.
My daughters first one was at home I threw water in her face! She never had another one!
Well if there isn’t anything medical wrong with her then I’d say just spoiled
Ik this gonna make many mad
But I’d spank her bottom…she is to
Old to act like that!
Unless she is doing something to hurt her self encore the tantrums. After a while she will stop and after she calms down talk to her and see what she wanted.
Communication is key. My 3 year old very rarely has tantrums because he feels safe to express himself in other ways.
Is she getting enough attention? . Children WILL get your attention regardless, whether it’s good or bad… and I find it takes more energy to give negative attention
Just my 10 cents worth
My Daughter just turned 8, and she still has these tantrums. I have spoke to her doctor with and without her with us. No Help… I swear it is because she was my first born and i was Obsessed with her. Baby backpack constant, never made her sleep alone, she had me 100%. Now 2 babies later, new house, new town… She still desperately fights for that attention. If she cant get positive attention and all eyes on her, then she stoops to Negative attention. and ooooh she Screams, throws things, ridiculous shit. When i know she needs me, i hug and tickle the crazy out of her. When its completely unneccesary, i tell everyone in the house DO NOT look at her or pay any attention to that fit! Make her ask for the atttention, not scream for it. Tell her, if you wanted my eyes, you could be patient and ask… Im still working on mine tho. I refuse to medicate. day by day, momma
Start having a tantrum yourself. She will be so shocked she should stop and watch you. This worked with one child. The other I just ignored. At times strong hugs were the answers
I guess it depends on the tantrum but when I can tell my daughter has had a rough day and then throws a tantrum ill just hug her tightly till she stops… if she’s throwing any sort of tantrum just to throw one I ignore her mines a little younger tho but it works pretty well …kids can have bad days just like adults and we have to teach them how to handle those types of feelings so I try as much as I can to notice her ques before it gets out of hand … obviously I’m not perfect and I to have over reacted and lost it a time or two
Get down and have a tantrum right along with her. Do it a few times. Worked with my youngest. Even did it in a middle of a grocery store once. She was mortified
My 10 year old son acts this way. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Counseling, medicine, talking to him, literally everything. Just gets worse.
Hmm. Have you asked her what’s the problem?
WHen she starts get out of that room stay calm if she comes in to the room your in leave that room calmly…Do not let her get to ya.it might take 4 3 times to show her they wantwork any more
Sounds like little too late on discipline
Walk away. Don’t talk until she’s in control. Let her know her behavioral expectations in terms she comprehends
Have you had her evaluated? Potentially autism
Quit acknowledging it. The sooner she understands that she will not get her way with that behavior the sooner she will stop. I told my kids I won’t negotiate with terrorist behavior and ignored them until they stopped. Whatever method works for you.
I see a lot of people saying “take her to a Dr and go get her checked”. I have kids of my own and I have worked with kids with disabilities so please know what I’m saying isn’t just “google searched”. All kids show their emotions in different ways just like adults. We think just because they are kids that they should “act right, or listen better”. My advice would be to just sit her down and talk to her and ask her what’s wrong. We as adults forget they are people too, they feel different things even though they don’t express it the same way we do. It’s frustrating yes but kids are just small humans with big emotions. It is our jobs as adults to talk to them and help them know it’s ok to have emotions and how to channel them better.
Is she verbal and able to communicate her wants and needs?
Has she hit all developmental milestones relatively on time? Are there other kids in the home?
It could be a developmental delay, learning disability, or simply competing for attention.
Watch This, it will help you a lot. MONTESSORI AT HOME: Positive Discipline - YouTube
Try ignoring the screaming. Put her in a safe spot and ignore it. Pay more attention to the positive and less to the negative. Remember she is at the age where she doesnt understand her feelings so it comes out like this. Practise regonizing feelings. Use words for feelings. When does she throw tantrums? See if there is a pattern. But I would ignore the tantrums. Alot of the time kiddos throw tantrums because of reaction of us parents or they have learned by experience we give in to them or they get some sort of attention. Even if they go to school and they see a child do this and that child gets to leave the classroom or less work etc. Our children see that and will try it. There could be so many factors of why. Without more information my answer is a generic answer to what I see typically tantrums are caused by. Another is language not having the skills to communicate needs. My son is notorious for tantrums when we tell him no. Hes 18 months. We try redicrection/distraction and give him something else to play with and that typically works. Or we ignore it and he stops after about 5 minutes when he sees no one is giving him any attention. As for you neighbors I love how you are thinking about them. But momma you’re a parent and have a child. It happens trust me. Keep your patience be consistent. Pick and chose your battles work on communication look up 6 year old social and brain development ignore negative unless shes going to get hurt focus on positive and dont expect change in a week. Children do great in the beginning then they regress and thats when most parents say its not working she was doing so well now shes not and most parents stop. The regression is normal and part of the change so keep going and be consistent
Mine use to do that. I would bear hug her and rock back and forth with her in my arms on the floor. She would scream hit and kick at the same time. I would say over and over I’m hugging you, I love you over and over until the anger went away. She would then start to cry and then we would be able to talk. Sometimes it took some time but it worked for us
I’m having the same problem but my son is 4 1/2😴 The way you react to the tantrums is key! I know it’s a lot easier said than done!
Standing in a corner works for my 6 year old. He hates that. But it works. When he’s in the corner the more he throws a tantrum or stomps his feet the longer he stands there. After everything said and done. We set down and he tells me why he’s throwing a fit. Hugs, kisses and Love.
My 12 year old did that when she was that age. Most of the time is was to get attention. I completely acted like she was not there would not talkn to her or look at her until she stop. And then I would act like nothing happen cand continue on with my day.
She stop after a couple times of me doing this