My 7 year old has accidents when my boyfriend babysits, should I be worried?

Sounds like you shouldn’t leave your son under his care anymore and maybe remove him as your boyfriend. I’m actually having anxiety right now for uou.

16 Likes

Talk to him privately

2 Likes

huge red flag! Something is happening ask your son in private if something is going on and tell him he won’t be in trouble also take him to the dr to get checked out and counseling and report it!!! Check his body for bruising or anything

12 Likes

Set up a camera without him knowing! That’s a red flag. He might be threatened by him. It’s a sign of abuse!

16 Likes

It’s a sign of stress and anxiety
Something not quite right
My boy does it only when left with his father
Currently going through court having supervised contact only
Please protect your baby there is something not quite right

15 Likes

I’m praying for this poor boy to be protected. God please deliver him from this situation. Let a family member see this and report this immediately please!

9 Likes

Look into things but it it could just be him being shy. Just like my kids wont use the bathroom At school. They refuse. So my 7 year old has peed or pooped his pants a couple times at school because he just will not use the bathroom there

4 Likes

That is concerning :slightly_frowning_face:

4 Likes

Not normal. I would be worried.

3 Likes

Why is he left alone with him to begin with. It’s like inviting abuse🤮

9 Likes

I’M ANGRY NOW FOR U TO HAVE TO ASK IS THERE A PROBLEM​:bangbang::bangbang::bangbang::bangbang: HE IS MESSING WITH YOUR BABY BOY BUTT HOLE IF I HAVE TI SAY IT LIKE THAT TO GET YOUR ATTENTION :bangbang: YES THAT CHILD IS GOING TO TELL U THAT YOUR PEDOPHILE BF IS MOLESTING HIM HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW HE’S ONLY 7​:bangbang: PLUS HE HAS THREATENED HIM IF HE TELLS​:bangbang: U ARE SO STUPID AS A MOTHER AND CAN’T TELL THAT HE IS MESSING WITH YOUR CHILD BEHIND YOUR BACK​:bangbang: HE CAN’T WAIT FOR U TO GO OUY THAT DOOR SO HE CAN HAVE FULL CONTROL OF YOUR KID​:bangbang:vWOMAN U NEED TO HAVE YOUR HEAD EXAMINED FRFR​:bangbang: U SAID YOURSELF HE ONLY DOES IT WHEN THAT PEDOPHILE KEEP HIM BUT WITH NO ONE ELSE​:bangbang: LET ME GET OFF HERE BEFORE I CALL U OUT OF YOUR NAM O CRAZY LADY THAT U ARE​:bangbang: HOW CAN U EVEN LAY IN THE SAME BED WITH THAT PEDOPHILE KNOWING WHAT HES DOING TO YOUR SON​:bangbang: THAT CHILD IS AFRAID OF HIM BC HE IS THREATENING HIM STUPID​:bangbang: :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::cry::cry::cry:

Poor baby…red flag here lady…please open you eyes

10 Likes

Somethings going on …Please dont leave that child alone with him and get it investigated…Protect that child

6 Likes

Take him to the drs. they can look for signs of any firm if abuse. If they say they don’t see any, I would put up cameras you can access when you’re gone. my mom has motion detecting ones. See what goes on. they aren’t too expensive on amazon.
but try asking your son about his day, how it went, anything they did that day. my daughter is 4 and just ends up spewing out everything about her day. maybe have him act out anything they did that day, even just playing toys, while using toys to show you.

6 Likes

Get him checked asap by a doctor! That is just disturbing and very concerning!!

8 Likes

I 100% agree with everyone else on everything…but please please DO NOT scold or punish the child for using it on himself thus will make him withdraw.

6 Likes

It cud be a medical matter… Or he feels… Anxiety issues…

5 Likes

Hun, this don’t sit right… he is fine with everyone else BUT your boyfriend. I wouldn’t leave my child with him no more. Something isn’t right here.
Your boyfriend taught him to wipe?
And now he will poop himself only when left with your boyfriend. Sorry but that screams red flag !!!

Where there is smoke, there is fire…

5 Likes

I think of you have to ask the question “should I be worried” deep down you already are

15 Likes

Not normal at all alarm bells should be ringing big time.

5 Likes

Red flags. Children don’t mess themselves for fun.

5 Likes

You need to keep both eyes open. Do not leave him with this person again.

5 Likes

2 words- Hidden camera

24 Likes

Wow people are very quick to judge. There is definitely an issue here and he needs to be seen by a Dr and referral for a psychologist. You won’t know the cause until he is seen.

5 Likes

Portia Mittons agreed!

Honestly it could be as simple as just not paying attention… In my case when my now hubby used to be with my son when I worked he would have accidents and here it was cause they were out playing in the yard or doing this that or the third that he just didn’t think about it until it was too late… he was having too much fun to stop and go potty… not really sure why everyone immediately goes to worst case scenario and that’s coming from someone who did experience childhood abuse in a sexual manner… :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

16 Likes

I wish people could get parenting license before bringing innocent kids to this world !!! Disgusting !

4 Likes

Get him checked out NOW

3 Likes

Maybe he’s dyslexic. I had the same issues and I was checked for all the abuse and nothing come to find out being dyslexic has a lot to do with it.

2 Likes

Why haven’t you taken him to the dr yet? Or at the very least installed a camera? If ONLY happens with the BF, that tells me somethin is sus.

12 Likes

I really don’t think there could be a more obvious red flag. Also, why was your boyfriend teaching your 7 year old son how to wipe his butt? If your son couldn’t wipe unassisted at 7 his parents should be the only ones assisting in that. Y’all be trusting your boyfriends too much then act surprised when they are abused.

1 Like

Have you talked to him without your boyfriend present?

15 Likes

I wouldn’t be leaving him with him never mind install cameras just don’t leave him obviously something not right

11 Likes

Huge psychological flags it’s regression from trauma what type only time will tell. Fuck that never leave him alone with him again and leave him now. Sorry not sorry

I would look further into the situation there’s something going on. I would put a spy camera I pray that it isn’t nothing foul but do what you gotta do to clear your suspicions.

4 Likes

Red flag. Children don’t lie and if they do they’re covering something… but prayers my friend.

6 Likes

Okay, so my 8 year old had poo accidents until he was 7 when he was with my hubby. And it turns out, they would play together and son would be too distracted or didn’t want to miss out on playtime with him to go to the bathroom.

Once dad started making him take potty breaks and snack/drink breaks, so it wasn’t like we were shaming him for potty breaks only, did they stop. Could be something similar if the boyfriend plays and interacts with him.

18 Likes

Are all of his other adults women? Maybe he’s just not comfortable with men if that’s the case

5 Likes

And I got another question. Why would you give your boyfriend the job if teaching him to wipe? That just sounds weird to me also. How long have you been with this man?

15 Likes

Your boyfriend needs to go. He’s either a pedo, physically abusive to your son or he’s both. Get away from that man protect your son

13 Likes

Have you asked if he prefer a different babysitter . Talk to him about your body talk and if someone ever threatens them or their family not to tell you need to talk to your son and educate him further if you haven’t so he knows it’s ok to come to you if something is happening . It may be another reason this is happening . As a parent of course I’d be very concerned when their behaviour changes but you just need to get to the bottom of the issue . He could be being bullied badly at school etc and sometimes kids let out the fears or frustrations in ways to get attention that we don’t understand . Good luck mumma xo

2 Likes

If he’s having these accidents around your bf only, SOMETHING IS WRONG! DUH‼️You don’t doubt or have second thoughts or question this behavior. Take him to get checked or take a day off and spend it with just you and your son like going to the movies or a park and ask him what’s going on. But priority should be taking him to get checked! Isolate your son from your bf because something is definitely not right if this only happens when he’s left alone with him. Always trust and believe your kids first regardless who the other party is.

10 Likes

:triangular_flag_on_post: sorry, no, I was dating a guy and he lived off to the one duplex next to his sister, well anytime she worked and her new bf babysat he was waking up in the middle of the night screaming and having an accident… which never happened with ANYONE else. Come to find out the dude was M*****ing him for those couple months. Un uhhh. Keep your kid away from him.

6 Likes

Id be abit concerned about that. Sprry but somethings not right with this

2 Likes

You definitely should be worried I think there is definitely a reason why. As a mother talking to another mother I see a problem with that. I would take him to a dr for a full exam also I would stop letting your boyfriend watch him till you get to the bottom of the issue.

6 Likes

Open your damn eyes and protect your child!!! As if you’re even asking this!! My son is 8 and there is no way in hell an adult has to help then wipe. This is very disturbing and disappointing. Your bf has you manipulated and blind. Your child cones first. That poor baby :sob::sob:

Take him to a child social worker and have her talk with him alone maybe he will talk to a stranger before he will someone he knows

Are they doing fun and exciting stuff? My little boy used to have accidents till he was 7/8 when he was with other people (I would remind him regularly to use the loo as would my mum) other people would do fun things and not feel the need to remind (yes they’re 7 but they also think they can hold it!) he’d have an accident then be too embaressed to say anything that he literally wouldn’t. Even as school. I’d collect him wondering how no one had smelt it as it was so strong and it would be dried to his skin. He did grow out of it and it just took asking others that watched him to regularly encourage him to use the loo and explaining to him the fun could be paused and returned too. Good luck! :slightly_smiling_face: xx

3 Likes

Stop leaving your kids with boyfriends PERIOD!

22 Likes

Ummmm something is NOT RIGHT

3 Likes

Talk to his pediatrician

Let your boyfriend go take care of your baby

Omg really. Red flags :triangular_flag_on_post:get him checked by a Dr.i would be putting hidden camera in bathroom 100%

11 Likes

Trust your gut. If its twlling you something is wrong becuase if the BF then it most likely is. But it’s not always that, my son has accidents when he is playing and/or watching videos sometimes simply because he liks thinks he is going to miss out on something spectacular and then will have an accident and not say anything. Its not always the worst case scenarios, and i hope for the sake if your child(and you) its just because they are having to much fun and he doesn’t want to take a break.

2 Likes

That’s a huge concern if he won’t say anything else then he doesn’t know.

If you feel like something wrong then typically it is. Get your kid checked out. In the meantime, if you have too, leave your kid with someone that BOTH you and him are comfortable with. Don’t leave him with or have him around that guy anymore.

3 Likes

I used to do this when my god-father would babysit me. My clothes were my barrier of protection, like my armour. I felt like if I removed any of it, even to just use the washroom with a locked door, that somehow I was allowing access to my body. So I would end up having an accident.
In reality, I was repeatedly molested by him, even though he was known as “my favourite” and such a sweet, wonderful man who was so amazing with me. It would make me sick when my parents would tell people how my favourite person in the whole world was him and it was because he loved and always spoiled me. I would force a smile and nod, but wince and feel sick inside.
Eventually through a LOT of therapy I can cope with the memories, but I will never forget the anxiety and sinking feeling of knowing I was going to be alone with him again, and BEGGING to go with my parents. I would frequently try any excuse for them to either stay, or take me with them…vomiting, rubbing my eyes until they were bloody and red, cutting my elbows and knees and saying I fell down and hurt myself really badly and many other ways of hurting myself. I even told them (and even convinced myself and blocked it all out for quite awhile) by saying that I just missed them SOOOO much when they left that I couldn’t take it, so I would cry so hard when they were gone that it would make me have an accident. So they took me to a doctor and he said I suffered from seperation anxiety and should have a few extra “special play times” with my parents each week and that should cure it. (Gotta love mental healthcare 35ish years ago)
Anyway…regardless of everything else…no, it was all just abuse.
You would be surprised at what excuses your mind will make for red flags that you see happening, when you truly don’t expect anything bad from people you thought you knew…and who you love. So don’t rule out your boyfriend for your sons sake. If your bf is innocent and loves your son, then he shouldn’t have any issues not leaving him alone with your son until this is resolved and while you can have some alone time to really talk with your son AND definitely take him to a pediatrician and possibly a mental health professional. Good luck sweetheart :heart:

19 Likes

If your Son is spending a lot of time with women (Yourself, Mum, Grandma etc) when he does spend time with your boyfriend perhaps he’s enjoying ‘boy time’ so much he just doesn’t want to stop playing then simply doesn’t make it on time :woman_shrugging:t3: My Son had more accidents when he younger whilst out playing because he didn’t want to come in and miss out on what was going on.

5 Likes

Please leave this man I don’t know where you are located but if you need anything text me and I will help you all you have to do is ask

1 Like

And please let us know when you are out and how your son is doing

1 Like

this story brought tears to my eyes, my disabled daughter started messing her self when my boyfriend of years watched my girls turned out he molested them both he committed suicide… please just watch out he also did this while I was at work…

9 Likes

It’s either 1 of 2 things. 1 is he is having so much fun that he doesn’t want to go to the bathroom at a chance he will miss something and has an accident. Or 2 something is seriously wrong and something is going on. I would take him to the doctor and get checked out about it just to make sure. Definitely some :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: here though that you shouldn’t ignore.

17 Likes

Something is making your child feel unsafe enough, to not ask for help, and/or comfortable enough to use the washroom around him.
There is a reason for everything. Sometimes its harmless, but a lot of times… It is. Please don’t leave your child with anyone who isnt family, or certified to be a sitter. Theres far too many horror stories.

6 Likes

He’s scared of him bro get your kid away from that man

10 Likes

As a Survivor of childhood sexual abuse this was one of my many tell signs. Please have that boy checked out and into counseling asap and for god sakes get rid of the bf for your child sake. For your sons sake i hope it isnt true but its due to some kind of trauma or abuse. Dont allow this to continue please!! Ik how fucked up it made me and i didn’t get help till years later… Stop it now and help your sweet little boy retain his innocence and be able to recover from whatever it may be thats going on

Red flag. Get him checked by a doctor and stop leaving him with the boyfriend. Cameras cameras cameras. That dude has to go.

10 Likes

Your son may act normal when you both together with your bf but behind the scenes there could be underlying reason why he isn’t telling you infront of your partner kids do get threatened to keep their mouth shut

2 Likes

Oh my. This is screaming :triangular_flag_on_post: . I in no way wish to upset you and don’t want to make false accusations against anyone but please pursue this situation. There is definitely some type of problem. :pray:

4 Likes

That is a bad sign. Big red flag… Hello.!!!

1 Like

something is not right

I would take my son to the doctor or ask him if their is someone he would feel more comfortable talking to. He might be scared to tell you! In the meantime I wouldn’t leave him with the boyfriend at all. You should be calling his doctor tomorrow morning first thing!

11 Likes

Really? He’s not scared and yet he poops himself when he’s alone with him?? Let’s put our heads on here. This question is asked so much in this group and it’s honestly disgusting. Why are there so many mother’s blind to their children being hurt??? Just so you are aware since it’s for some reason not a red flag to you children will pee/poop so they don’t get “touched”. Time to either put up cameras or get rid of the boyfriend because that’s absolutely not normal and the bf isn’t as unaware as he plays to be. So sad that this question is asked so much on this group… The signs are there. I know at least SOMEONE is going to be mad at my comment too but ya know what, stay mad. Too many questions like this being asked and it’s honestly alarming that so many parents are “blind” to the signs of sexual/physical abuse.

Mmmm yeah somethings not right with this scenario.

6 Likes

Don’t ignore it… his body is communicating something…

9 Likes

That is a red flag, something is happening with you’re BF and son when their alone. I don’t know what but something and if I was you’re sons mother I would not have you’re son and BF alone or I would not have my BF babysit any longer. I would immediately have you’re son babysat by someone else. Keep you’re eyes and ears on alert with that boyfriend of yours better be safe then sorry.

28 Likes

He might be shy or uncomfortable around your bf, but there’s gotta be a reason.When I was bullied, I never thought to tell my family, I never knew how, the words just didn’t come out of me.It could be the same for your son. I know this seems drastic, but maybe you can set up secret cameras inside or recorders, because it seems like a red flag.
It would be different if he was like that with everyone but you, but it’s specifically just your bf

5 Likes

Child abuse I hate to say it but you better get to the bottom of this because something is definitely wrong he is scared of something

6 Likes

Major red flag… hopefully you take him to a doctor 1st thing tomorrow… don’t leave it for later. Have someone else spend time with him and ask him questions about it he might say something to someone else he doesnt wanna tell you.

6 Likes

Your boyfriend is not going to admit to anything so asking him is pointless. Your son is not going to answer honestly if your boyfriend is around so don’t ask him around him. And your son isn’t going to mayeb even tell you. You need him to see a therapist or doctor asap. Kids are taught by abusers so how to remain calm and not tell what’s happening to them.

17 Likes

Omg classic sign of something is seriously wrong!! You need to stop leaving your son with your bf this is very alarming. Maybe your boyfriend has threatened your son and sworn him to act “normal” with you after being left with him. I’m sure your son is in fact terrified of your boyfriend…. Red flags all over this, don’t be blind just because you’re in love. :triangular_flag_on_post:

19 Likes

Idk why people leave there kids alone with boyfriends, this is neglect. You are responsible for your child’s well-being. If my 7 year old started pooping his pants I wouldn’t wait past the first time before I got him evaluated by a doctor.

11 Likes

Is so surprising to me how people can still be sooo stupid , now in days ! Do not trust no one. How difficult is that to comprehend. Please get him checked out immediately . Is not normal …

11 Likes

Cameras in the house…!!! Then see…

4 Likes

Not judging but I’ve taken classes on sexual and physical abuse in children and have experienced first hand as well when it comes to stuff like this and this does raise some red flags. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I’d definitely set up some hidden cameras that you can access from your phone. You NEVER know what someone could be capable of. Protect your babies at ALL cost.

14 Likes

This is such a red flag. Please take him to the hospital ASAP. This isn’t okay

3 Likes

Jesus Christ. And that doesn’t tell you something??? :slightly_frowning_face:

12 Likes

Take him to the doctor immediately. That is a major red flag…if not sexual abuse, something is going on in his head.

7 Likes

Red flag in my opinion

1 Like

I agree with everyone else. This is requiring immediate support. However , does he wait to long to go to the bathroom while playing and rough hpusing.

4 Likes

Guaranteed this is a new relationship and he’s already moved in. This child is traumatized. My god.

7 Likes

Even if not sexual abuse
It could be physical mental emotional any kind of abuse could cause this type of reaction definitely find somebody that he’s comfortable opening up to because not all kids are comfortable opening up to their parents about stuff like that especially little boys

3 Likes

Why would u leave your child with your boyfriend like wtf is wrong with u

7 Likes

He’s literally shittinf his pants to be “unattractive” to this pos you are leaving him with. I’ll bet everything I have he’s a goddamned pedophile.

10 Likes

Don’t you see stories everyday of child abuse

Major red flag!!! Set up a camera or please do not leave your child with him. Dont trust anyone with your child. Now a days, you cannot trust anybody unless 2 people are in a look out.

7 Likes

If you don’t do something to protect your son, you are guilty of abuse as the BF is if that is the case, DO SOMETHING FAST.

5 Likes

My son is 8 and to this day will not poop anywhere but home & I wipe him so he wouldn’t poop at school he’d wait to get home so I got him cotenelle wipes to put in his desk and he has no issues wiping in school now

Red flag I would be having him assessed by a medical professional and cease leaving him alone with that man

5 Likes

Jesus I wouldn’t install a camera & wait for something happen! I rather get professional advice & deal with the problem straight away! BTW your talking it do sound like a red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: poor child hope he’s okay!!!

6 Likes