My 7 year old has accidents when my boyfriend babysits, should I be worried?

My almost 7 year old son has an issue.. almost every time he’s left alone with my boyfriend while I’m working, he will poop his pants and not tell anyone. He knows how to go and wipe himself and never poops himself while I’m around or when he’s left with anyone else. My bf taught him how to wipe. He isn’t scared of him or anything, we’re both confused as to why this happens. After talking with him, he simply says “I don’t know why I do it” and that’s it. No further explanation. But it literally only happens when he’s left alone with my bf. Maybe he doesn’t like asking him for help? Idk. He doesn’t do it with my grandma, mother, or anyone else.
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It’s also possible the when you aren’t there he’s more strict and he does fear him. I’ve delt with this before with a ex. My kids were scared to get out of bed at night because they feared they would upset him. Doesn’t always mean sexual assault. But you need to have a private conversation with your little. Tell him what ever he says is safe with you and you’re his protector and that if any adult ever tells him not to tell your then the first thing he is to do is tell you. You are his safe place and let him know he can tell you anything. It helped my kids know that it won’t upset me and I’ll listen that they always come first and I will leave someone for them no matter how much I love the person I’m with. But I agree with all the Facebook comments that something seems off. So I’d try to have a conversation not with your guy just your son privately. Good luck. Momma

First thank you for being a mother who is concerned and is taking some sort of action
As a grown woman who was molested as a child… Buy my half brother and my stepfather
I would like to venture and say this is very alarming and completely unhealthy
there is no other plausible excuse our mind doesn’t want to accept sometimes what is so blatantly obvious yes because it is too difficult to comprehend and digest
Our automatic response is to not believe it
and I truly believe in my heart that this child is being molested by your boyfriend and probably sexually assaulted one my abusers was very clever he never touched me he made me want him masturbate.
my mother never did believe me until she was dying of Alzheimer’s several years ago and I cared for her she finally opened up to me and said she was sorry that she finally believe me she just denied it in her heart
I’m 58 years old and that made me cry so hard when I left her that night to go to my own room
Because she was living in denial because she couldn’t cope with the truth
We were both victims
Please I beg you to take your son to a male counselor or psychiatrist someone that he can talk to freely and openly
Someone who specializes in childhoods trauma
Perhaps you go to church and know of a pastor that could counsel him individually and patiently
But take him to someone else …and it’s very important that you choose a male counselor so he can feel safe and open up to him…that he can confide in and share these demons

To defecate in one’s pants is 99% out of sheer fear
I will be praying for your son and for you to have the courage and strength to seek the truth
I also pray that I am wrong

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 7 year old has accidents when my boyfriend babysits, should I be worried?

Youre not gunna want to hear this, but…

…get him checked for sexual assault. Thats one of the biggest signs, having accidents around certain people.

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As a mental health therapist, I’m warning that’s a sign of trauma. Get him checked out

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Very that’s an immediate RED FLAG :triangular_flag_on_post: of some sort or abuse :scream:

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My mom always told me accidents happen after sexual assault and from experience it’s true…

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Not ok. There’s a reason.

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Omg :sob::sob: please get rid of that “ boyfriend” prayers for your little boy :blue_heart:

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Not good… you may wanna install cameras & possibly counseling to find out why… get your son a checkup with Dr & explain the behavior & your concerns…

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Yeah. At 7 this is not okay. He shouldn’t be left with the boyfriend again. Ever.

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That’s a sign of sexual abuse. He probably doesn’t want to say. Victims are always told horrible things to get them not to speak. Your boyfriend, honestly, why the fuck are you even leaving your child alone with your boyfriend in the first place? First mistake there. Regardless if he isn’t doing anything, either way… that’s f****** stupid.

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Get him checked out asap!!!

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Red flags girl! Red flags. Take him to er asap and have him checked for sexual assault. I’m so sorry. But, its common for boys that’s been raised to do this.

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Simply stop leaving your son with this man. End of story.

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If you have to ask this question something is wrong with you smh get that bby checked out and get ride of your boyfriend because something isn’t right

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Not a good feeling about this , sorry but being truthful

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Please please please keep him away from your BF. It’s no coincidence. This is a red flag. :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Why the heck would you leave your kid
With your boyfriend?

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Get him checked definitely a :triangular_flag_on_post:.And don’t leave him no more with your bf​:roll_eyes:

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Stop leaving him alone with him …!!! This is not ok!

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Hes afraid of hem. Please get help!! Please dont leave hem with hem!! Your child is the most importan thing!!!

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Please take him to the hospital to get checked… Please for the sake of your son. He needs you…

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YES!
You shouldn’t have to ask a bunch of strangers.

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Lord I hope he is not touching him :cry:

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Should you be worried? If you need someone to tell you… there’s a problem. I know you’re seeking help but don’t ask online…leave. Please understand… You’re a mom… know your children and leave if you feel there’s abuse

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Get a camera forsure! To see what’s going on!

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She knows this…just dosent want to get it!!

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STOP leaving your children/child with this man LIKE NOW!

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Please please get him into therapy asap. If he is being abused you want it reported to someone credible not just your word against your bf. The fact that your asking means that you know it’s sketchy af. Don’t ignore your momma instincts. Something is off. No one wants to think about their child being abused. But if that’s what it is… do you want to look back and think I could have done something sooner if I would have just checked it out?? .

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The boyfriend is the issue.

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This same thing happened to our neighbors son after his mom went back to work he was 6 he was being sexually abused. Go to see a dr install a security cam take your son to see s therapist specializing in behavior

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Seriously :roll_eyes: you’re kids probably scared to say anything obviously there’s an issue with your boyfriend and you shouldn’t leave your kid with him and if it only happens with him come on :woman_facepalming:t2: I’m not trying to be mean but seriously there’s something not right and you need to take your kid to get checked :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Yes! STOP doing that right now!!!

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I used to be a child protection nurse. And this is an indicator of sexual abuse.

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Get a camera please there is definitely something going on

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Yeah ok this is a red flag. Asf.

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Stares in CPS so hard, you create a Black Hole :hole:

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He’s literally telling you there’s a problem WITHOUT telling you there’s a problem CLEARLY THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW!!! GTFO AND AWAY FROM THIS MAN NOW!!! :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3:

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why do you entrust your child to your boyfriend ? your son is not comfortable with that man simple !

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There’s something going on. How long has this boyfriend been around? I’d install cameras in your house

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Y’all ask the dumbest questions

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Also, stop leaving your kid with your boyfriend.

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Big warning sign and it’s your job to protect your children

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My daughter did this when she was with her dad she felt uncomfortable to tell him cuz he’s so strict with her but she did tell him eventually she got the hang of it.

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Let your boyfriend go asap he is the issue here. Please don’t choose a man over your child. Find someone else to baby sit him.

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1st of all kids know who they can get away with things i know their are so so many negative comments on here but talk 2 your son ! Go with your MOTHER INSTINCTS!

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You’ve answered your own question.

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Yeah as someone that’s gotten violated as a child and never believed that child Is getting touched…so if your child tells u so u better believe it or ur child will either hate or resent u

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Yes you should be worried. Your child is afraid of your son and sounds like your boyfriend make be abusing your child. You need to leave him asap

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Some type of abuse is going on when he’s alone with him.
Time to get your son out of that situation and take him to a doctor.
He may not feel comfortable telling you about it but might disclose to the doctor.

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I wouldn’t let nobody wipe my sons/daughter especially not at that age :woman_shrugging:t2: ESPECIALLY not a boyfriend. Can’t trust nobody, people are sick in this world…

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Omfg you type of mother’s are dumb as hell
Why even hesitate to do something
It’s obvious your boyfriend is doing something when you are not around to your son
Do you not love your son enough to get rid of the boyfriend? Does the boyfriend seriously go above your own son? Wtf :unamused:
Get a freaking clue
We’ll be seeing this story later on 10 o’clock news later in the future
Dating is not worth the safety of your child

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U know something is off listen to yo child’s action stop leaving him with yo bf don’t take chances with yo child

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Dont leave wit bf .protect ur boy take him to er to get checked

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At the very least stop leaving your child with this man until you get to the bottom of it.

The fact that you are making this post… you know something is wrong.

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You said it, only with your bf. Protect your child and only let family ie grandparents, aunties watch them

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Honey believe your son even though he has not said a word. he may have had damage done to the point the doctor can tell but you know something happened. I had a friend when I was young and her own father was violating her on the regular basis and it was not until he went for her sister she went forward. don’t let this happen please. even if he says nothing happened something has and he is afraid of your boyfriend. he may love him but also fear him. and this man may act different when you are around. sadly it happens all too often. I was violated by my great uncle when I was 4 and I told everyone that he would not stop kissing me as I did not know what to say, nothing was done. I ignored it as it must of been okay.

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Please look into this further mama. Please.

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There is definitely a problem and that problem isn’t the accidents your precious son is having! The problem is your boyfriend. LISTEN TO THE SIGNS YOUR PRECIOUS BABY BOY IS GIVING YOU!!!

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Omfgggg that’s scary. Stop leaving him with your bf immediately and figure out what’s going on. Children should not be left alone with just anyone including bfs/gfs.

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He does know why he does it. He’s just too scared to tell you . Your son is more important than your boyfriend. He comes first before anyone else.

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Red flag!! Smarten up sign of possible sexual abuse. Bf should not be babysitting period. Maybe time for Bf to hit the road and your son needs a medical assessment and psychological help.

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Absolutely a red flag. Stop leaving your child with your bf, get him checked ASAP. He is 7. This is usually a huge sign of abuse. I’ve heard of kid’s going to the bathroom on themselves when they are abused so that the abuser won’t touch them. Omg this breaks my heart & I pray you get him the help he deserves :cry::cry: don’t be that naive mama or the one who says it could never happen to my kid or could never be my SO.
SOMETHING is wrong.

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2 words: nanny camera

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You have instincts for a reason, follow them. Protect your child please

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My heart :broken_heart:please trust your momma instincts take him into er get him checked definitley a sign of sexual abuse I really pray and hope it’s not but as son as I read it my stomache just turned Dont leave him with your boyfriend at all

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Not saying this is why but when I was molested I peed myself a lot of the time when a child does such things it’s because some form of abuse is happening

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Be an advocate for your son!!! Leave the boyfriend! Your son is trying to tell you something that his mouth can’t say!

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Someone’s abusing your son sounds like the boyfriend and your boyfriend is acting dumb ask your son in a safe place like at
grandma‘s or something not when your boyfriend is around As he may say something if he’s not around as he might be scared definitely leave the man if he’s done anything to harm your son

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Put hidden cameras up an watch

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that’s definitely a red flag,stop leaving your child with your bf

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First of all stop leaving him with him then, are you that blind u can’t see who’s causing this

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You need to set up a hidden camera that’s motion sensor, don’t tell your child nothing about it you need to get proof of what all is going on behind your back

Stop leaving kids with your boyfriends! Protect your babies!

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RED FLAG. DO NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE WITH YOUR CHILD. Get your son seen ASAP. Speaking from personal experience as my sister and I did this around my step father.

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Seems odd only around bf. :confused:

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This is very triggering honestly

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This shouldn’t even be a question. I hate to say that about the mom. But, as a mom you know when something just isn’t right. Please stop leaving him with the guy and please get your son checked out. Sending prayers

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This just makes my momma heart break into a million pieces!!! This poor child needs help right this very second!!! Open your eyes before it’s too late!!! Praying for this little boy right now!!!

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This is also seen in coping mechanisms to stop the abuser from more sexual contact.

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Take him to get checked out for abuse ASAP

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Speak with a professional please, contact child psychologist. Also let your kid draw and observe it, or pay attention to his playing, what scenarios is he acting out. But definitely contact child psychologist, and meanwhile don’t leave him with your bf.

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Most kids do this when they are scared of something. Not ever saying something is going on, but maybe just even neglect. Just do not leave them with him. It sucks but they may not even like him so they act out???

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Boyfriends will come and go, please listen to your gut and be your son’s voice

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I understand you’re trying to get advice… But YOUR SON should’ve been your MAIN CONCERN! You should sit your son down by himself without your bf and make him feel comfortable enough to be honest with you and then ask him if there is something wrong or if there’s something he needs to tell you. I’m my opinion if you asking a bunch of strangers if we would be concerned about your situation then, to me it’s obvious that you should be concerned…

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Dont trust a man period.

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Start asking them every 20 minutes. Kids get distracted when they’re playing and they don’t think about it. I have a friend’s son who used to do that

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This is a sign of abuse! Talk to your son privately!

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I’m so sorry to hear that this is the situation that you are dealing with my daughter used to do this when she was around that age unfortunately she was being abused by the partner that I was with

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NOT A GOOD SIGN
Please remove him from his care

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Put up a camera girl… is my best thought.

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Well dear. U got ur answer 2yr own questions. There’s a problem but ur son doesn’t want 2 say. Maybe he’s threatened.

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I would investigate the situation! Something is wrong

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Protect your kids your son is more important then your bf feelings check your kid you’re a mom first and that is your priority

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I’d protect my sweet baby
BF is out!!

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Take ur son and protect him

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There’s a GOLIATH problem and it’s your boyfriend…kick :foot: him to the CURB…take your son to a doctor to be checked out…you can REPLACE , boyfriend but Not, your Son’

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I’d be investigating why and I’d remove him from his care ASAP!

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