Sounds like he scares him or worse… Could be abuse! Don’t leave them alone together
1 Like
I feel like you already know somethings happening you just need someone else to tell you for you to believe it… just the fact that youre asking it here, tells me that… your son needs you
3 Likes
Yes. I would be.
Just because your boyfriend taught him it doesn’t mean anything. Something is happening and you need to get to the bottom of it. I’d be setting up nanny cam. Try talk to him every time. Take him for drive even so it’s just the two of yous . Take him for treat like her icecream or toy.
But something wrong and as a mom you need to get to the bottom of it.
1 Like
Put cameras up you’ll soon find out
1 Like
Um serious red flag… may be something, may be nothing… but you should install cameras and see what goes on within your household under his watch
3 Likes
That sounds real dodgy to me its def something to do with the boyfriend u should place a camera in ur home so u can see wat really goes on wen ur not there for me i would not leave my child with the person he is clearly frightend and thats why he’s pooing his self do not trust this situation i def would not this is a massive sign that something is not right wen ur not around watch closely put a camera up then u can see for ur self ur child may need some counciling eventully but see wat u can find out u may get all the answers u need then u can deal with it the correct way after
5 Likes
Protect your child from your bf. Something is off about him
2 Likes
Children having accidents on themselves is a sign of abuse. Whether it be sexually or physical, he’s not saying much probably in fear of something happening to him. Had a feeling while reading this post. Please please PLEASE keep your son away from your bf.
8 Likes
Wouldn’t be leaving him with the bf anymore. I would take a serious look into what has happened when he is alone with him. Because messing themselves when in the care of one person when he doesn’t do it with anyone else. Massive red flag. Huge. Get him seen ASAP by someone.
4 Likes
RED FLAG 
there’s some sort of abuse happening. Can’t say what but 100%
3 Likes
Find a new boyfriend
Alarm bells are ringing!! Stop leaving him with your boyfriend. This is not normal. Set a camera up with out telling your boyfriend and see what’s happens.
2 Likes
MAJOR RED FLAG! Children that young, especially when conditioned by a “trusted” abuser, will tend to not come out and tell you what is going on. They will show you by doing things like this. Refusing to go #2 with just your bf but being fine doing it with every other trusted, safe adult means you need to STOP having bf watch him alone or help with anything that involves his private parts. Please go have your son checked out by a medical professional and have him speak with a therapist. Do everything you can to figure out the reason why your son is doing this with just your bf because no child should go through that. Please don’t turn a blind eye just because he’s your “bf”. Praying for you and your son.
8 Likes
Working in the child care industry, we’d see this all the time.
Child would be fully potty trained, no accidents. Spend a weekend with the other parent, or spend the night with a boyfriend and they’d come back and poop/pee their pants.
I’ve even seen children hold it, which caused them horrible UTIs.
Most cases, it was from trauma and sexual assault.
Mama you are his VOICE.
Please, please, PLEASE, have him checked out. Talk to him WITHOUT your boyfriend around, stop leaving him with him. This is a HUGE red flag that is not meant to be ignored. Prayers and good luck.
It won’t be like that for no reason. Something is surely wrong. I think your son needs help pls let someone else from your family do the babysitting. Your son is clearly uncomfortable w your boyfriend.
2 Likes
Better take him and get him checked. Ask question even the ones you don’t want to ask.
2 Likes
Something os not right about the boyfriend!!
4 Likes
Red flag big time. There’s some kind of abuse going on and ur son is afraid of telling you. U need to keep him away from ur boyfriend until u get to the bottom of it.
3 Likes
The boyfriend needs to be gone ASAP …take your baby to the doctor and tell them what’s going on…this is a sign of abuse…please don’t hesitate girl…your baby is relying on you…
6 Likes
Something is most definitely wrong
1 Like
Sounds to me like your child is trying to hide something. I would be questioning it more till I found out. Sounds like hes scared of him
2 Likes
PS …STOP
LEAVING YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOUR BOYFRIENDS!! Smh…this makes me so angry🤬
12 Likes
I REALLY PRAY you reading the comments and taking every one of them into consideration and take your so. To get checked… it doesn’t matter how well or how long you have been with him… something ISNT RIGHT AND YOUR BABY GIVING YOU A HUGE SIGN!!
8 Likes
Wow! All of you are being so judgemental of this mom.
Stop it!!!
She came here for help.
While I absolutely agree there has been trauma, she came here seeking advice, for what is one of a parent’s worst nighmares.
Her instincts are there: she is just making sure she is not jumping to conclusions after, possibly a lifetime, of watching SVU, as someone previous suggested this show.
She did not say BF was new. He may have been around for years and it would be natural for him to be left as a caregiver. She is not picking BF over child.
I could go on, but bottom line, be kinder.
9 Likes
There’s a reason you feel like this. Get rid of the boyfriend and take your son to counseling. Don’t be the parent who chooses the boyfriend over your child’s abuser. Your gut is always right.
3 Likes
Something is not right. Take your baby and get him checked out by a doctor. Praying for you and him 
1 Like
This shouldn’t even be a question for random people on Facebook. It’s so obvious what’s going on! Stop being delusional and be a mother to your child!!
2 Likes
Stop letting a boyfriend watch your child. This isn’t a good sign at all! Why women do this is beyond me! This is how children get killed and abused.
3 Likes
I knew a child that would poo himself because he was been sexualy abused, it might not be this but there’s definatly some red flags going on.
5 Likes
Get cameras !! You will see what your son is trying to tell you !! Period this is a red flag sorry but its even easy enough for me to see it just reading what you wrote
Do not tell him you have cameras just do it
They are not costly and your son will feel better not having to tell you what is going on
9 Likes
It might be something innocent as the childs father isnt giving the child enough attention so they are doing things to get their attention. Negavtive attention is attention. My 2nd likes to pull her diapers off and run around laughing when im taking care of her sister and shes not the center of attention because she knows ill come running everytime to avoid an accident.
1 Like
Huge red flags. Children react in all different ways when being abused. If he’s only doing it with boyfriend I would be looking into this because children who wet the bed or regress to pooping on themselves , acting out in school ,exhausted, grades all of these are signs to watch for. If he reacts to your boyfriend and only with him I would definitely get rid of him. DO NOT LEAVE KID WITH BOYFRIEND AT ALL. Take him to Dr, set up a therapy appt and start asking hard questions cause he has serious signs that something is off.
25 Likes
Just to offer another side. A friends son would poo himself, only while the grandparents babysat. As with the majority red flags went off, cameras were installed for proof… you know what it was? The boy would be allowed to game and was so engrossed he didn’t go to the toilet, said he didn’t know he needed to go till it was on its way out. So as much as there are red flags and it should always be considered…it could be innocent. Good luck mama I hope it is like what my friend experienced.
Red flag! Its a sign of abuse…I would take him to the doctor and then call the cops…plz don’t ignore this…something is going on with the poor kid…the boyfriend needs gone and arrested
2 Likes
Do not leave your son in your boyfriends care again. Huge red flag. Take your son to a doctor. Get him into therapy. I’m so sorry this is happening to you and especially your son.
4 Likes
Your boy is telling you something non verbally
7 Likes
Get your child alone & tell him that you won’t share any secrets. But he needs to tell you what’s going on? If it was my son I’d be telling him with all of me that if something has happened he is completely safe to tell me & boyfriend wouldn’t be coming back at all or finding out.
Maybe ask what they do when they’re alone? Or can you put a camera somewhere? I know I definitely would! It might be something or it might be nothing but it’s better to be absolutely sure that it’s nothing. If your boyfriend is a good man he will understand your reasons
6 Likes
You better drop that boyfriend of yours and protect your child! There is something seriously wrong going on and he just doesn’t want to tell you! Get to the bottom of it before its too late. And don’t you dare put him on the back burner for your so called "boyfriend ". And ladies STOP LEAVING YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOUR BOYFRIENDS!!! FOR FS!
16 Likes
Big Red Flag! Please keep him away from the boyfriend
3 Likes
Listen and watch very carefully to your son !!! Get a full medical done make new child care placement immediately with a regular babysitter would be my advice as a parent this
Streams at me
2 Likes
RED FLAG !!! Come on , it only ever happens when you bf babysits and you believe your son is’nt scared of him !! Your son is scared to ADMIT he’s scared because you believe your bf over him ! Wake up and smell what’s going on here . Your son craps himself when left alone with your bf , FFS . Protect your child !! Your child deserves better !!
10 Likes
Sexually abused children usually do not want their non-abusive parent to leave. They won’t ‘tell’ if there is abuse because abusers threaten to kill them or their family members, or make the child feel it is their fault. Also, many 7 year olds do not know what sexual abuse is because they don’t know about sex. You have to be very careful about asking. Avoid questions that have ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers. Tell the child there is no shame or guilt. Don’t ask the same question more than once. Don’t ask leading questions such as ‘did he touch your bottom?’. Instead, ask your son if anything happens that does not happen when you are around. Sometimes drawings can help. Be wary of therapists. Some are good, some are bad. Don’t let a therapist use those dolls to diagnose - there are many reasons why that does not work. Most important is to tell your son he will be safe if he tells you anything and that your bf will not know he has told you.
Seriously need to be careful who y’all leave your children with. Stop leaving him with the boyfriend… there’s something going on. I would even talk with your pediatrician about a referral for counseling maybe.
3 Likes
Boyfriends should not be caring for child . PERIOD
6 Likes
If he taught him how to wipe he may be real uncomfortable. Think about it
1 Like
Idk how you can leave your 7 year old son alone w a boyfriend… a man whose not his father AND even then the chance for abuse is still a possibility if he was his Father. Don’t be so trusting, their are a lot of bad people in this world.
4 Likes
Definitely get cameras
2 Likes
I was sexually abused as a child and I would piss myself always around him.
He would threaten me with my life, saying he would hunt me down like a dog and kill me if I told anyone. And kill my mum and siblings. The threats were so bad. He would mentally abuse me also and put in my head that no one would believe me if I told or that I would ruin my mums life. Etc etc I could go on the long years of abuse but bottom line…
Your son is being abused. Ofcourse he won’t tell you, he is scared. Keep that boyfriend dog away from your son.! Protect your child.
Sounds like abuse please get him looked at and seen by someone you never know kids react different with everything compared to us adults don’t take this lightly.
If he’s not doing it with anyone else then I’d say yeah something’s off.
Get ur child away from the bf ASAP…something is going on n ur child doesn’t wanna say….DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN!!!
4 Likes
This is a major red flag. Get this baby boy examined and helped now!! Kick the pedo out now and get police involved.
2 Likes
If you had to ask this question… you already know the answer.
13 Likes
The fact your even sat here questioning and asking …“ should I be worried ?? “ … is the only reason you need to not leave your child alone with your bf 
… you don’t even sound 100 % yourself . So why are you even risking leaving him alone with him when you quite clearly have doubts wether to 
3 Likes
My son has this issue. We started by seeking counseling. It’s not always abuse or stress, sometimes it’s just because they don’t want to go to the bathroom. It’s wayy more common in younger boys. A therapist would be a great place to start.
4 Likes
That is a big sign of the child being uncomfortable and can be a sign of abuse.
2 Likes
If you’re asking, you already have your answer!!
1 Like
Dear lord help these sweet babies …
2 Likes
Yea. That’s. A. Sign. Look. At all. Of the kids. Who. Moms. Bf has beaten. Kids to death if. He only does it. When. He’s. Around. Get. A. Many. Cam they don’t. Cost to much think about. It please
2 Likes
Something isn’t right with him being left alone with your boyfriend
2 Likes
Yikes so many people jump to sexually assault. It could be something pretty simple they could be busy playing games or watching a movie or anything and the son just does not want to interpret the activity. Take him to the doctor or therapist is a good way to start.
10 Likes
Do not leave your child alone with him!!! This is a huge red flag!! Take your child to the pediatrician and have him examined. This is textbook abuse! Please do not ignore this!!
6 Likes
To speak on the benefit of the doubt side since the alternative has already been answered, the other people you mentioned he does use the bathroom properly around are female, and it could be just that. It doesn’t say how long the boyfriend has been in his life. It’s hard because no matter how you try to ask the son, kids won’t answer if there was an issue even if there was. My daughter used to forget to go to the bathroom sometimes, it ended up that she was just distracted by what’s going on or in a different environment. Whereas I didn’t show any signs of my abuse. They can also regress due to stress or changes. I hope you find the answer potentially with the help of a professional. It’s definitely a tough spot to be in having to be second guessing your boyfriends morals
2 Likes
Lights, sirens, red flags…depart immediately… been there, done that. For real…that relationship is NOT worth the scaring your child has seemingly already experienced…get.out…move on… Do not bring another man around your child until you have dated him for an extended amount of time and you feel it may go further. These things cause LONG term emotional damage.
Chances are…you likely already knew all of this in your gut before you posted the question, go with your gut and run…
6 Likes
Do not leave him alone with your bf again.
Your child is telling you without communicating.
9 Likes
None of this may be the case I’m just saying what I think. It sounds like he is uncomfortable with being left alone with him. If you HAVE to leave him alone with boyfriend, put up cameras. I know it sounds wierd but it would determine what is happening when you are gone. That man you have watching your child isn’t his dad. I would definitely be watching everything. You didn’t saw how long y’all were together so theres some missing info.
Seek counseling for him and either try to find someone else to babysit or put up cameras if you HAVE to leave him with bf.
10 Likes
My son is 9 and he still shits his pants. He lives with his grandmother for a couple years because I had couple things to fix (myself) and his grandmother does everything for him ,to getting him dressed , tieing his shoes and wiping his ass . I was so surprised when I got visits with him again (court, been 3 years they only had him over a year before that) and that he doesn’t know how to wipes his own but then i find out that he doesn’t know how to bathe himself either . I was so disappointed. It’s like he was a 3 year old in a 9 year old body . So I basically had to teach him that stuff all over again (I had him newborn til 5) and he still doesn’t know how to do it properly 
his grandmother still til this day does it for him . I’m trying to teach him to be independent and asked her if she can do the same but nope .
Answer to you’re question is YES,yes you should be really worried!..
2 Likes
Yall are so quick to jump to conclusions and throw out the words pedo and abuse without clearly knowing the entire situation. My suggestion is talk to the child and correct the behavior. It is actually quite common for boys to go through this. Also instead of leaving him with just your bf just in case there is something happening, have your mom or someone else stay with them as well but in a separate space. Like you could have your brother or sister hang out in your bedroom. If the behavior continues, then I would say a counselor is the next best option.
3 Likes
There are real reasons behind this he needs to see a child psychologist now!
1 Like
Holy red freaking flag dude. That’s like the #1 sign of sexual abuse.
Read that out loud to yourself. “my child has accidents when my boyfriend baby sits”.
22 Likes
Why do you leave him alone with a bf?? He’s 7 and apparently he’s been potty trained a while now, and that would be normal. But this has red flags all over it! Please get your son to the pediatrician and have him checked out that’s #1!
5 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-7-year-old-has-accidents-when-my-boyfriend-babysits-should-i-be-worried/12590
1 Like
He seems like he’s too scared to say as he’s deflecting by saying he doesn’t know why he does this… I’m no psychologist therefore, I would follow the advice from others and put cameras up and stay close to the property so you know exactly what’s going on, it’s clear that you suspect something to post this kind of post especially on a social media site… He doesn’t wet or soil himself with anyone else other than your boyfriend… something isn’t right
53 Likes
If you even have to ask! Than you know something isn’t right. Too many of these moms leave their children with these boyfriend. And when the child ends up dead, its all boo hoo and tears.
Pathetic parenting
153 Likes
If it’s only happening with JUST your bf… That’s odd and suspicious. My youngest, had accidents(wetting) into he was 8. But, that was with everyone, and anywhere. And he had been checked out etc. Take your child to the doctors. Unfortunately, with boys, it’s hard to tell certain things. Put cameras up. Hidden🤷 sorry, but when even a slightest sign or red flag is presented, you can not be too careful or trusting. I could understand, and my advice would be different, if it wasn’t just when he was alone with your boyfriend
122 Likes
I am a little confused here. You said your son knows how to wipe and then you are saying your bf taught him to wipe. Wasn’t your son, a 7 years old boy, wiping himself before your bf came into the picture? And if so, then why did your bf wipe him? There is something seriously wrong going on here and you need to protect your son. When it comes to child abuse, boys are often overlooked and not believed. And that makes them an easy target for such heinous crimes.
54 Likes
Take him to a doctor and put a camera up. This screams child abuse. It’s always hard to think someone you care about would do this to a child but you never know what people went through as kids themselves.
180 Likes
A male figure close to me used to have the same issue when his step brothers were around and he was being sexually abused. Something is definitely going on with the boyfriend he should have NEVER been comfortable helping him learn to wipe your son isnt a toddler its odd to me if im being honest you kinda let your gaurd down … Its clear to people on the internet whats going on but you seem to be in denial take him to a doctor i gaurantee im correct . sexual abuse is almost always done by family or spouses ! I pray for your child !
13 Likes
Definitely odd for it to only occur around your boyfriend.
I’d say there is more to this story. Your son may be feeling afraid & embarrassed to tell you what is happening and May also not want to upset or disappoint you. Also may be afraid of what boyfriend will say or do to him or you… these are all thoughts and feelings of a child who has been abused in some way (talking from experience). Please try to have a calm and private conversation with your child and make appointment with pediatrician and child therapist to help your son open up.
21 Likes
The most dangerous person around a child is mom’s new boyfriend. That’s not an opinion, it’s a statistic. I have worked with too many heartbroken mothers and biological fathers whose child is no longer on this Earth because Mom trusted her new boyfriend. Background check the living hell out of this guy and get him to a pediatrician immediately. If not, and something is wrong, you could be charged with abuse and neglect because you already suspected and did nothing.
38 Likes
Stop leaving your child alone with your boyfriend! I’m not being judgemental I’m saying this for the safety of children everywhere. Child abuse is 40x more likely when a single parent finds a new partner. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE.
98 Likes
Something else is going on. Get to the bottom of it before something worse happens.
64 Likes
That is usually the biggest red flag for a psychologist to determine there is sexual abuse going on. Your child might be scared to speak up maybe he was threatened or made to believe that it’s his fault and might even feel guilty to say anything. I would definitely be very concerned!
27 Likes
Hi after reading your post I would talk with you gp. It maybe that your boyfriend isn’t giving your son the attention that he wants as it’s normally a attention thing, or even it could be a abuse it’s a very worrying time I understand that, but it needs handling in the right way. I hope you manage to get it sorted, and that your son, is sorted out.
2 Likes
Don’t leave them alone again until you’ve figured out the issue. Get your son a child therapist. A play therapist would be best. Get to the bottom of it and until you do, don’t even leave them alone in the same room. If you continue letting this happen and then find out he was hurting him in any way, you won’t be able to live with yourself. Don’t take any chances when it comes to the safety of that kid. If you can’t afford or don’t want therapy to figure out what’s going on, then kick the boyfriend to the curb.
9 Likes
For one- If you have to ask… you shouldn’t leave your child alone with him. That means you don’t fully trust him.
And for two- I don’t think this would be a sign of anything odd. Maybe your boyfriend keeps him too busy having fun or you say “your boyfriend” so I’m assuming he’s not the dad. Maybe he’s not used to being around him as much as others? Or perhaps the boyfriend isn’t taking him to bathroom or reminding him or something.
I mean, I have three little boys with same dad and when he would watch them when I went to store or was doing online school sometimes they’d have accidents. When kids aren’t too familiar with someone their behavior changes.
17 Likes
Red flags, BIG TIME!!! The fact that you’re even asking on a public forum… do you not hear yourself? As a peds critical care nurse, I have seen waaaay too many tragic cases of child abuse. Your 7 year old isn’t gonna come out and blatantly say what’s going on…. What child would? Come on now… use more common sense than this.
37 Likes
You have a boyfriend, where is his dad? Just asking because he seems to do just fine with women. It’s the male figure he does this around.
It may be something as simple as he doesn’t feel comfortable around a male to go to the bathroom. BuT it is something that needs to be dealt with. Take your kid to the park or a place he really likes and talk to him about different things and then start talking about your bf and see how he responds. Take him to hia pediatrician and have him chacked. Take your concerns to him.
Do not let this go without any action. If it is something bad, the sooner the better.
15 Likes
If it happens with JUST your bf
Something seems odd!!!
If it was a thing it would happen with anyone! And infront of you!
That gives me a bad vibe!
Please dont trust you baby boy when he says i dont know. Or its nothing…
I agree id be putting a secret cam in a few rooms!!!
Better to be safe then sorry!!
Id defs kill if things wernt right…!
17 Likes
This screams abuse. I think deep down you know something is wrong. Please please act now.
12 Likes
He taught him how to wipe but you think he doesn’t like to ask him for help is a possible reason of why he is doing this is the most messed up shit ever that you can say those two things together & still not see that something is beyond wrong with this entire situation. Hope you are actually asking advice to actually use it & not brush it under the rug while making more excuses like you have already started
7 Likes
Could be a few things. He might mock him for not being able to do it himself. Or for having asked for help. He could’ve tried helping and wiped too hard. Or worst case he’s been touched inappropriately.
Def try talking to your son privately. And bring him to a dr or counselor if he still unable to further explain what’s been on.
16 Likes
RED RED FLAG…after seeing what has happened with my grandson - the words you can’t judge a book by its cover comes to mind. Children don’t forget …try to move on now.
11 Likes
The son is scared. He can’t tell you why because of this fear. Please stop letting the boyfriend around. You have been advised by more than one, take action to protect your son. It could be his way to keep from being touched.
5 Likes
First why in the world would you even question if you should be worried really this is your son, your son is 7 yrs old should be able to do it himself. And
After talking with him, he simply says “I don’t know why I do it” and that’s it. Maybe he’s scared of saying anything maybe your boyfriend told him not to because no one will believe him. I would get you child help real fast. Don’t let your boyfriend to watch him until you take him to the doctor I would be safe than sorry and maybe you shouldn’t tell your boyfriend that your taking him until after because you don’t know what he’ll tell your son about saying anything. Good luck mom.
9 Likes
Yes! Be VERY WORRIED! This is a HUGE red flag! Get rid of your boyfriend- clearly something is going on. This makes me sad and I pray nothing “ bad” is going on but from what you are saying it seems like there is definitely something going on with your son… take him to his pediatrician. Question your boyfriend.
6 Likes
I hope my fiancé doesn’t see this comment. When he was around the same age he had a problem similar to this with his dad who was verbally abusing him and even picked him up once and threw him at the wall.
If talking alone doesn’t figure out the issue I would bring him to a doctor to help talk. It just takes knowing their safe and protected.
8 Likes
That’s usually the 1st sign something isn’t right. Your Child should not be left with him…
9 Likes
In my Line of work, we were trained to be suspicious of Sexual abuse when their is a situation like the one you described.
10 Likes
I have a 7 and 9yo little girls. I am not with their dad but I have an amazing bf that we all love and he’s amazing with them. But I have had issues with their dad. Not physically abusing them but anger issues around them. He wasn’t able to see them for a while. I had a hard time letting him see them after he showed he was trying and improving so my girls and I started this thing we call “girl talk” during this time they can tell me anything and everything and they don’t get in trouble for any of it. It’s a safe time they can tell me when dad or anyone has messed up and they didn’t feel ok or safe or felt upset. We also remind them that even though bio dad tells lies that in our house we are a team and we don’t break promises or tell lies. And if anyone ever tells them to keep something from us or lie to us they are to tell us always and they won’t be in trouble ever for telling the truth because they know our number one job is to protect them.
It sounds to me like a therapist for you and your son is needed. Also, you need to trust your son over your bf and make sure he knows that he is able to talk to you safely without getting in trouble or judgement. That you won’t tell your bf or anyone if he asks you to keep it between you two. This one on one is so important. He needs to know him and his safety is your number one priority over any relationship. And your bf doesn’t need to be accused without knowing but needs to be watched. I agree I would start therapy for your son and I would also start putting up cameras. Start talking and spending one on one with your son more and develop that trust. Then decide after you find out what’s going on what needs to happen to keep you and your son safe. Praying for you and your son. Mostly that you will do what’s needed as this is most likely a cry for help. It may be what he feels he can control in this situation and hoping to get your attention and help.
5 Likes