My 7-year-old Has Accidents When My Boyfriend Babysits, Should I Be Worried?

Parenting
1

2560×1707 579 KB

QUESTION: My 7-year-old has accidents when my boyfriend babysits, should I be worried?

"My almost 7-year-old son has an issue. Almost every time he’s left alone with my boyfriend while I’m working, he will poop his pants and not tell anyone. He knows how to go and wipe himself and never poops himself while I’m around or when he’s left with anyone else. My bf taught him how to wipe. He isn’t scared of him or anything, we’re both confused as to why this happens. After talking with him, he simply says 'I don’t know why I do it?' and that’s it. No further explanation. But it literally only happens when he’s left alone with my bf. Maybe he doesn’t like asking him for help? Idk. He doesn’t do it with my grandma, mother, or anyone else."

RELATED: Brian Austin Green Praises Son’s Painting, Sticks Up For North West’s Art Skills

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

2560×1707 365 KB

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"This doesn't mean your son isn't safe with him. Is he routine different with boyfriend, does boyfriend leave your son to his own devices like TV, tablets, video games? My son would have accidents when he was not limited on time with devices because he didn't want to stop what he was doing and take the time to use the bathroom. You need to talk to your son one on one about how harmful it is to his body to have accidents and about hygiene. Also you need to talk to him with no repercussions to see if he feels safe with boyfriend."

"So my 6-year-old was doing something similar but only when I was home with him, and it turned out that he just didn't want to give up any of his TV time so he would try to hold it but couldn't and would have an accident because I allowed more time with screens than his dad did. So what I'm saying is maybe find out what they do while you are away, if he is letting him watch more TV or play video games this could be the reason too."

"Hmmm, that's weird. Maybe have him see the doctor to rule out medical then therapy?"

"No one who is “boyfriend” category should be teaching a little one how to wipe or have anything to do with their privates. Period."

"My son used to have accidents while we were going through a terrible divorce. He didn’t like change, dad moved around a lot and when he had the boys he would “stay “ at my former in-laws so it appeared like he (my ex)was living there. My ex would tell my son to change his pj bottoms and lay in the dry spot…my son would be back in that wet spot the moment he fell asleep. Any time my son had an accident at home, I would change him, wash him down, strip the bed, and lay down with him until he fell asleep again."

"Something is VERY WRONG. Please stop leaving him with your bf. Get your son help. Take him to his Dr and start there. Your Dr. Can refer him. In your gut you know something is wrong. Your mom instinct is correct. Protect your son!"

"Regression can mean 2 things, sexual assault or just normal regression some kids experience at that age. Just talk to your kid and be open without leading."

"Time to install a nanny cam that the bf doesn't know about. The kid is either doing it out of spite because he doesn't like him or there is something much larger and darker going on here. I wouldn't drag my feet on this."

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

2

Yes you should be worried. You wrote that he knows how to use the bathroom so its not because he is afraid to ask bf for help 8f he doesn’t need help. Why did your bf teach him to wipe? I don’t know if that is something you asked him to do but perhaps your son doesn’t feel comfortable with that or something happened to make him feel uncomfortable. Also what does he do when your child goes in his pants? Is he having him change or shower or does he leave him in it?? Lots of questions for sure. You 100% should not continue to have him babysit.

1 Like
3

I would be worried about sexual assault, your story sets off alarms in my head. I’d ask your son more questions about the time he’s spending with your boyfriend and not let this guy spend anymore time with your son.

4

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what the abuse statistics are when children live with unrelated men? You had some random guy teach your son how to use the bathroom and now he’s having accidents when left alone with this guy? This has sexual abuse written all over it. Get that guy out of your house and take son to doctor. I swear single mothers are the most negligent toxic people.

5

Excuse me? I’m a single mother…. I raise my son around my mother and a licensed daycare. I don’t neglect s…. So, with that said maybe you should have your own self evaluated.

6

You should be very careful leaving your child with a boyfriend. The fact that he only has accidents when he’s alone with your boyfriend is a red flag to me. Sometimes children can’t put words together to say something so they say it in actions.

7

He might be sexually assaulting your son. You need to get to the bottom of this now.

8

you’re an idiot. not every single mom is like. and i was abused and my mom wasnt a single mom. you ignorant chick.

9

Some children, especially boys that age, just regress. Of course, you’d want to be sure there’s nothing else going on, but to all you psychopaths who are immediately like “THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HARMING HIM,” know absolutely nothing about children. MOST times something like this happens, it’s harmless.

10

You should be alarmed. Your son is 8 years old and is far past potty training. Kids don’t “regress” to this degree so please don’t listen to the girl calling the alarmed commenters psychopaths. Something is very wrong here. Do not let this man be alone with your son, and he needs to see a doctor and perhaps a child psychologist. I PROMISE you this is not normal. And I’m speaking from experience with a similar situation with a child in my family.

11

Not harmless. This is terrible advice.

12

Yes, I would be worried. And I would not let my son be taken care of by that boyfriend while working. I would find somebody else, where the child feel safe enough to go to the toilet. Because something does make your son feel unsafe, what ever that is.