I have a seven-year-old daughter & we are doing online schooling for first grade. She keeps “accidentally” pooping in her panties, but she pees in the toilet. The past two weeks have been rough. Talking to her as a friend does no good. Yelling at her doesn’t phase her. We know it is not diarrhea; she specifically told us that she doesn’t want to stop playing with siblings to go poop. I have thrown away numerous pairs of panties because, honestly, they are destroyed to the point that I’m not putting them in my brand new washer. Please help.
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Maybe make a point of toilet breaks in between play x or not allowed to play till she learns to come in to poo x
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Is she autistic? Or mentally delayed?
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No advice but my 6y old does the same! Except she pees too bc “ I was watching tv, I was playing” so it’s not accidents. We have tried everything including putting her back in a diaper and she just said “I like the diaper”
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Make her clean herself up Get an old bucket make her wash out her own panties to the point they are clean enough to wash. Use cold water for her to clean herself up. Don’t make it pleasant. Actions ( or lack there of) have consequences Unless she is delayed or doesnt have a medical condition she can learn to go to the toilet
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Following, same problem, with 9 yo, she’ll be 2 ft from the bathroom and do this…
Have you tried making her clean her undies and clean herself that might stop it
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Make her wear diapers. It will hurt her esteem and she won’t want to, so maybe she will stop with the “accidents” just to stay out of them. Worked on me when I was 5 with a bed wetting problem and it worked on my “big” girl who is 3, she didn’t want diapers again like a “baby” and it actually stopped her from pooping her pants anymore.
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Set bathroom breaks when the kids are playing.
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I would try what someone else said. Make potty break times during play time. Or make going potty a game of some kind?
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My son went through a phase where he didn’t want to stop playing to go to the bathroom also right after he turned 6 years old. I had to ground him from his favorite activities and tell him that if he wanted to ever be able to do those things again that he would need to stop being lazy
Talk to her. Have her talk to the Dr. It could be the stress of quarantine or the disruption in schedule.
Not everything has to be punished out of kids…
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Well yelling at her won’t help! Being like I’m not putting them in my brand new washer won’t help either! Firstly it’s a washer lol
Secondly make her clean it up should make her stop doing it
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I would buy a visual timer and set it for 30 minutes and every 30 minutes when it dings she needs to go potty. It will remind you and it gives her something visual to look up and see. There are free apps or you can buy one on Amazon.
She should see a dr to rule out any medical issues she may be having.
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Sounds to me she is having difficulty wanting to grow up. 
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I would make her a potty schedule even when she isn’t playing with her siblings. Use incentives when she has pooped on the potty! Let her know there are consequences when she does poop in her pants. For example: taking away part of play time.
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I would take her to a therapist just in case there is something else going on 
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I would assume it’s laziness I would change everything diet her clothes take things away judge me if you want I would even giver mirlax if she wanted to poop on herself that bad make it worth her while it doesn’t cause problems later I have a child on it daily and she will tell me if she needs it or not and she’s been in it since 4-5
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Shes a lil old for that maybe something emotionally going on??
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Make her clean everything up maybe she won’t like that…shes probably just straight up lazy like she says
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Jfc. Yelling at a child for having an accident isn’t going to help the situation. 
It causes unnecessary stress and divide in the relationship, which can make it worse. Have some empathy. She’s only been in this world for 7 years. Her brain has like 20 more years before it’s done developing.
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yep make her wash them by hand and herself…no sense in throwing them away maybe that jz what she wants so she can have new ones…washing machine are made to wash brand new or not same as baby poop on clothes…geez
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Making my boys hand wash their underwear seemed to help and explain to her that it now takes more time away from playing because she has to clean up the mess when she could have just done it right the first time.
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Get the ugliest adult diapers you can… She won’t like wearing them… My niece used to wet the bed on purpose as I’m guessing your daughter is doing this on purpose as well
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Make her clean them. Its what worked with my son. He hated it. But its a natural consequence. You mess it up you clean it up.
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Mine was doing this and I started making him shower every time, didn’t matter who was around or visiting. He had to explain why he had shower in the middle of playing with his cousins (same age). It all stopped pretty quickly.
Mine would also tell me “but I didn’t want to stop playing”
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I’m having the same issues with my Son who is turning 7 next month. I explained that it could be embarrassing if other kids smell his poop. We talked to Pediatrician and his counselor about this and they both said it could be a form of control. Positive reinforcement seems to help! I started a sticker chart and he seems to like that. I reward him with small things for keeping his underwear clean like extra time on his Kindle tablet. I also try to remind him to go potty if he gets quiet playing and sits on his feet. It’s not perfect and he still has accidents but I’ve seen an improvement. I found getting frustrated and upset just caused him to lie about it and hide it more. Hang in there mama!!!
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Take her to the doctor.
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Sounds like she is acting out for some reason. 7 year olds should not be having those accidents on the daily . Also it could be an attention getter or something. I would also be making her clean up her mess … after realizing it’s not fun should help he not do it anymore. If it continues I would have some professional look at or talk with her . Could be mentally she has stress or ect going on . Because unless she has some kind of disability that prevents her from going to the bathroom at 7 this should not be going on. Sounds like there may be other underlying issues that may need to be addressed.
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Go back to how it was when you were potty training
Reminders
Reward systems
A mindful diet
And lots of praise and reminders that she is more than capable of being a big girl
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I would take her to a doctor to rule anything out instead of shaming her.
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I’d maybe get her to clean them herself if there’s nothing emotionally or physical going on? She may just be being lazy…
Hi emma sending u lots of huges and get well soon lots love from me and john XX
Make her clean herself and underwear. Sounds like more of a stubbornness thing vs a medical issue. Or if she does it cause she’s playing, stop her from playing for x amount of time. Playing with siblings come with responsibilities, such as going potty when needed. If she can’t handle it then she doesn’t get to play.
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Then ground her from playing the rest of the day and she will stop.
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Make her clean them herself and don’t let her play with her siblings until it’s back under control. Make her sit in a chair near you all day until she has to go, she’ll learn quickly if she wants to get off that chair.
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I would simply just put her in her room and keep her away from her siblings completely and tell her … since she wants to poop herself , she doesn’t get to play … Make sure there is no toys in her room
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Make her clean the mess up including the underwear by giving her a rag and soap and tell her since she wants to keep pooping her panties then she has to clean them herself. But if she didn’t do this before two weeks ago then something may be going on that she isn’t telling you. Yelling at her isn’t going to do no good trust me.
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She could have a medical problem. My brother n law when was young couldn’t hold his. They had to go in and make everything smaller for it not to come out.
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She needs to clean herself and her underwear up but you can’t yell. You have to be patient but having her clean herself up is having her take responsibility for it. First reward her for each time she goes in the toilet, than move to the whole day and than by the week. Than phase it out rewards. It worked for my daughter when she was about 4/5. She simply doesn’t want to stop what she’s doing to go to the bathroom.
If she were “in school” instead of virtual this could Not take place. Take her to her pediatrician and if nothing is wrong I would definitely take a stern approach!
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I worked in an elementary school years ago and a child was doing that. There is a reason behind it. Mainly it’s a control thing. The doctors and therapists said because he had not control over his home life or what ever was going on that pooping was the only thing he felt he could control.
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Have her rinse them herself, sometimes that helps, it did for my grandson
Make her clean it up herself then put her in a diaper
If she actually admitted its cause she doesn’t want to stop playing then ground her from playing. Tell her she can play again once she learns to poop in the toilet again. Normally I’d say its medical but she admitted it
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I would talk to the pediatrician about it and make sure it’s not a medical issue
I had this issue with my daughter when she was 5yo. Potty trained by 18m. Turns out she had gastrointestinal issues. She’ll be 13yo this fall. We are now finally getting the issue resolved. Please be gentle on her. It could be something she can’t control.
Make her have wash them
Stick her butt in the tub and turn the water on keep her clothes on her she give her her panties no rags or anything. Make get use her hand. I had to do that with my kid and he quit immediately
I’m sorry you are going through this right now. Everything going on around us is difficult to process. Imagine what it does to a child. The change of not being around her peers & friends. The change of a daily routine. The change of not going to school. It’s difficult as a parent to trudge through the murky waters. Where is that life handbook?? 
. Step back and reevaluate the situation. Use your motherly instincts. Sometimes our mouth gets ahead of our brains, I would pencil through the ideas and pros and cons of each. Do what’s best for your situation. Take in account for any changes big or small, and any other abnormal behavior. I wish you the best of luck!!
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Hear me when I say this!!! Have her seen by a medical doctor FIRST!!! I went through the same thing with my own son. He was embarrassed that he couldn’t hold it to get to the bathroom in time, so he lied to me and said he didn’t want to stop playing and just pooped himself. Turns out, he was severely constipated, which caused tears in his bowels; he never felt the poop come out at all. We only knew he did it because of the smell. Please do not punish her until you have her checked.
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I made my son wash his own clothes by hand, then shower before he was allowed to go back out and play.
So he then spent at least an hour inside cleaning his clothes and showering.
Finally he caught on that coming in to pee took much less time then having to wash clothes and shower.
Pick specific times each day that you make her go sit on the potty until she has gone. We had this issue with our youngest and making him have “potty time” reduced it.
A cause was constipation. He was so bound up he didnt know he had to go until it was too late. I would also consider a Dr visit to rule that out.
Since she specifically told you that she does this because doesn’t want to stop playing, then tell her she’s not allowed to play until she stops it. Send her to her room. I’d also make her clean up and take a bath every time she does it. You have to make it difficult for her or she’s going to continue to act this way.
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I have an almost 5 year old boy. He wasn’t peeing on his pants anymore. Started peeing his pants at home during the day and when I ask why he says because he was playing, it kept happening and I have tried different thing and still kept happening. I took his video games away and his tablet for a week and told him it was because of him peeing his pants for not stopping the game so he hasn’t done it anymore.
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She could have something called encopresis. It is a medical condition. She may not be able to help what’s coming out. She’s probably backed up so much and what is coming out is what is forcing it’s way out. My daughter had encopresis and I got all the same advice about punishing her, it being a control issue, she saw multiple drs and therapists and none of that worked. I found a group on fb of parents with kids who have encopresis and tried some of the things they suggested and things immediately changed! Then it took a year for us to get her colon to shrink back to normal. First of all they need to be cleaned out with something like exlax or pedialax and then kept on daily meds to keep them regular. Please don’t punish your kid before you make absolutely 1,000% sure it’s not a medical condition. I have a lot of regret about listening to people’s bad advice, even some drs.
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My 5 year old was doing this also she would hold her poop in and have poop streaks. I told her that i was done washing her underwear out and sat her on the toliet and made her sit on it until she pooped. After that we made a sticker chart and each time she pooped she got rewarded.
Try an old fashion spanking
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Make her clean them. Each and everyone. When they have to deal with the consequences of their actions they tend to wake up a bit more.
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If it’s something new for her I would have her checked out by a dr.
It may be physical take her to the doctor or psychological my son did this how to outgrow this shaming him for my help he said that it was only hurt him she’s okay mentally and physically so I’ll grow it be patient some kids take a little longer
Another thing you may look at is something wrong is anyone new in her life or anybody teasing her or messing with her
I had this phase to. Make them stop every so often to go to the bathroom. Mine started doing her own laundry cause I was done pulling out potty pants from hamper, she did have to rinse out her panties so they could be washed. It did stop after a while but yes it is frustrating
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My 5 year old did this. After having to clean his own underwear, by hand, a couple of times he stopped.
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My 5 year old son is the same. I needed to see this
Get her to wash them out
my 6year old had constipation from holding his and blocking up his insides, because he didnt want to miss out, after going doctors. so If I or anyone in out house thought that he needed to go I’d just take him to the toilet sit there with him n lil encouragement, and patience from my side🥴 done that for a few weeks but it brang him right and I’ve had no troubles since. hope your able to find a solution for your little one, All the best😊
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Shes 7 years old. Have her dump the poop in toilet and wash them by hand!!!
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My oldest was having a similar issue that developed into encopresis. Please talk to her pediatrician ASAP. If she gets blocked up it can cause serious complications.
Sounds like time to see a child therapist
My son did this until 9 dont shame them just encourage them. My son has anxiety and I believe this to be a huge factor.
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Tell her she can wipe them out and wash them from now and it will soon stop
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She needs to be assessed by a pediatrician and child psychologist…this is not normal behavior at that age
Talk to your pediatrician or counselor for professional help.
Make her wear diaper… i had the same problem and she will stop
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I would definitely schedule an appt with a behavior therapist. There might be something else going on. In the meantime, don’t over react at all. If she poops on herself, tell her to go to the bathroom and clean herself and wash the underwear herself. Every single time. I hope it works out
Make her wash by hand. My daughter’s did the same thing but after having to wash their own mess they didn’t want to do it anymore.
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Try grounding from what ever she is doing when this happens until she poops in pot twice in a roll. Also wash out underwear by hand.
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I’d be so over this by day 2 lol my son doesn’t do this but what he does do is not wipe his bum after going toilet, he’s 5 So we got this toilet paper from the shopping centre that has cartoon characters on the sheets of toilet paper and tells the kids when to rip of and it’s time to wipe. Lol also we put up a poster on the back of the toilet door that he reads we made the toilet a pretty cool place for a 5 year old to be lol and that’s encouraged him, maybe do something similar to that and definitely make her clean her undies off
Get a bucket and a wash board and have her do them herself. When my daughter has accidents she drags all her own laundry to the laundry room by herself. She only accidents at night so we start the wash before we eat breakfast. Luckily she’s more or less fully potty trained only 1 accident in the past several months
Put her back in a “diaper” they make big pull ups but you can call it a diaper. Tell her if she’s gonna act like a baby, she’s gonna get treated like a baby. Start treating her like a baby as well!
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These comments make me feel so sad for this mama and her daughter, especially the daughter. Maybe she needs a little extra coaching from mama and advice from the pediatrician. Don’t be mean or yell at her because she is having this issue. She is still just a kid. You, as the parent should figure out what works. Since you already know all the ways she isn’t responding, try other avenues and see if your peds office has any advice and tricks that may keep her interested in succeeding in this task! Maybe treat it like a game or something fun to do, and feel accomplished when she does finally do it. Again, she is still just a kid and may need more direction, but to constantly make her feel bad and put down because Of it is not the way.
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She doesn’t want to stop playing? This doesn’t sound like a mental issue thing. It sounds like a child that just doesn’t wanna do what she knows she should do. Make her wash her own panties out by hand and give her time-out as well. I agree that yelling won’t work, but a firm strong voice telling her (with punishments) will get through to her.
Put her in a pull up so she gets embarrassed. She’ll poop on the potty real quick 
Put her back in depends and let her wear them for awhile till she can’t stand herself.
I agree with others on here. If she wants to act like a baby and poop on herself, let her do it in a diaper/pull up and not in good clean underwear. Or tell her she won’t be allowed to play with her siblings until she starts pooping in the toilet again. Then she doesn’t have to worry about “stopping to go poop” because she won’t be playing with them in the first place. Also, other may not agree, but a good tanning on her backside wouldn’t be amiss in my household.
I had a foster child that would poop on himself. I tried everything thing I could think of and the only thing that worked was making him clean himself. He started crying saying " I don’t want to touch my poop" I kindly explained to him that I didn’t like it either and no one would have to touch it if he went in the toilet. After the first time of cleaning himself he never pooped on himself again.
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May sound a bit harsh, but I would suggest piling all the panties together and telling her she’ll be sticking to one pair of shorts/pants no underwear and that you won’t be cleaning her when she does poop, I bet the uncomfortable feeling will stop that dead in it’s tracks. I’m not suggesting yelling/screaming or even getting upset I’m suggesting you do this with as much kindness as you can throw in that little girls direction.
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If this continues I would bring her to her pediatrician for evaluation (there could be a medical issue )
And if there is no medical issue discuss it with your pediatrician I am a pediatric nurse I have seen situations where There is a medical issue and the parents weren’t aware
Definitely make sure it’s not a medical issue. Our son had the same issue for a long time. Finally took him to the dr after the school contacted us about his “accidents” turned out his bowels has a slight twist to them and sometimes it was just out of his hands. We had to change his diet and help retrain his body for going potty.
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Set a timer and make her go on a schedule you control, since she is unwilling to go when she needs to. This isnt nighttime accidents. This is something that could give her rashes and an infection. Definitely a playdate ender if she chooses not to go. That said, if she will go pee, then dont most people pee when they poop? Could there be another reason shes not speaking up about?
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Dont punish her. Its a phase some children go through.will she let you pop her on the toilet after breakfast or dinner. Reward her with a little treat when she goes. Some are too busy playing or too nervous. Had it with one of mine. I found the teacher was unhelpful and l had to have a word with them.
We have 4 grandbabies living with us. They are 11, 5, 4 & 3. The oldest has a medical condition, and has to wear pull ups when he’s out in public, because he can’t control his bowels. At home, he wears underwear, and visits the restroom every hour, on the hour, to prevent accidents. Some kids just have special circumstances.
If she knows she has to go, but chooses to continue to play & have accidents, maybe encourage her with rewards for not having accidents. Positive reinforcements usually work better than punishments. All children thrive on attention, and all kids love positive encouragement, and they love to feel like they’ve accomplished something good. I think I would get a medical checkup first, though, just to be sure she doesn’t have medical issues.
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PLEASE have your daughter checked for lactose intolerance. We went through absolute hell with my son…same issue…even older until I found out that LI was sometimes hereditary and it was a problem for some of hub’s relatives. I can remember actually being mean to my own child for something he had no control over, and to this day it sometimes haunts me.
my 2 grandsons have issues too so don’t yell or punish until you find out if a medical problem. Their stool becomes impacted & it hurts them to have a movement but sometimes a small amount of softer stoll will squeeze by the hard part & “sneak” out on them. They really can’t help it because they have tried to pass the impacted & can’t & yet a little “toot” and they have a mess. Patience!!
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My daughter has functional constipation. She was seeing a therapist due to fear of pooping cus her poops are very large. Making her clean her mess helps. If you have something fun that is planned tell them they have to poop before you can do it and stick to it.
I dealt with an 8yr old doing this. So long as there’s no medical issue such as constipation, I’d be getting her to rinse out her undies and them putting them into soak at the end of each day. She is old enough to take responsibility should it just come down to laziness.
My 2yr old son cleans up his wee accidents and puts his clothes in the bucket. I truly think it teaches them to be aware of themselves and their environment.
Your daughter will soon realise she will miss out on more sibling time by not going and she will not enjoy dealing with the aftermath!!
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My nephew had this issue… The doc double checked for medical issues and then they introduced a reward system and some other things. Maybe check with the pediatrician. If it helps, it worked for them. Good luck, you’ve got this!
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I made my daughter wash hers for a while. Didn’t phase her. Her problem was electronics. So if she messed in her pants, she lost all electronics for a day. That worked. And if it happened again, all her play had to be within my sight, and I would interrupt her and make her stand up so I could ask every half hour/45 min if she needed to go. She got irritated and learned to regulate herself.
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