My 7 years old girl refuses to clean herself after pooping and weeps if we bring this to her notice. Today was a phone from school too to my mortification. We have discussed the hygiene issue, the stink that can drive away friends and have shown her how to do it but somehow that’s not her priority. And if there is something not important to her, this girl won’t do it. Please help!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 7 year old refuses to wipe after she poops: Help!
Make her clean it herself next time she has an accident in her underwear, scrub and all. She won’t want to clean her own shit.
I know of a little girl who was doing the same thing and that’s what her parents did.
Could she maybe be constipated and getting hemoroids? Could be painful to wipe with toilet paper? Maybe try to send some baby wipes with her?
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What if you started buying flushable wipes? That may help.
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Is it a sensory issue maybe? My son (6) struggles with wiping and we sometimes just have to give him a bath/shower after her does a poo (obviously can only do this when he has a poo at home)
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Baby wipes maybe?
Prizes as rewards ?
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My first thought is sensory issues? Perhaps toilet paper may feel painful to her?
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What’s her reasoning? Is it uncomfortable for her? Like would she prefer wet wipes? Does it gross her out? Talk to her and figure out the why(s) for not wiping her butt. Then from there get creative on resolutions. Discuss all the important reasons on why and explain that everybody needs to do this for themself. It can cause her butt to not only stink but hurt or even a big infection and ruin her panties and give kids something to tease her over. Maybe even offer her some help for a few days to remind her how to do it properly.
My boys won’t use toilet paper. To them, it takes too long. So they use baby wipes. Try that.
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It sounds like she’s afraid she’ll get it on her fingers. I would get her a supply of wipes for home and to take to school. Tell her to use the wipe first, and after that, when she’s clean, dry with toilet paper. That might get her used using toilet paper and you can eventually phase out the wipes.
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Maybe you should get on her behind and stop letting her get away it , and have her lose some things until she learns how to act, cleaning yourself is a priority and she just needs to understand that it’s not an option.
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My son uses flushable wipes and hey sometimes I do too because toilet paper isn’t very comfortable 
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I’m at a loss. Maybe don’t flush it after she goes. Ask her if she can smell it. Tell her that’s how she smells when she’s not clean. That’s why it’s important. If she can’t smell it ,she may have a sinus infection . Also it can cause a bacterial infection in her bottom and that’s a bit painful and she will have to take medicine to help her heal.
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A supply of flushable wipes for home and in her bag for school! Good luck x
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Try baby wipes. And see her Dr. She may be wiping too hard and it hurts. She could be straining and it hurts.
If you get *flushable wipes, I’d not flush them. They can clog pipes and take a while to breakdown in septic tanks.
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If she feels grossed out she can always use a glove. Eventually it’ll become annoying and she will need to try without.
My 7 year old daughter doesn’t like to do it either. She says it’s gross, she doesn’t want to touch her butt, she also doesn’t like washing her hair. I just let her walk around with poop butt, she is starting to do better when I remind her to wipe while she is on the toilet, I figure she will get tired of an itchy butt eventually.
Make her hand wash her panties!
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Is she seeing a counsellor? I’d get her that help. I’d also get her some disposable gloves and some flushable wipes.
Maybe sit down with her, and gently ask her what would help her to want to wipe her bottom.
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Get her to use wet wipes or wet tissues my youngest had a similar issue wouldn’t wipe herself but would let an adult we gave her wipes to do her self and she is getting there bless her she only 5 so we do have hiccups here and there but I’m confident she will her there please take time with her ask her if there is any anxiety surrounding herself wiping I’m sure she will get there in the end explain to her how birthdays and sleep overs will be impossible for her to join in If she dosnt wipe or already try to bless her tho I feel for you all there clearly something arise for her not to want to be clean explain the health side of it the infection and irritation it can cause in the long run maybe take her to a doc let them explain why it’s important we wipe threaten her with a poo bag if need say she will have to poop in a bag for rest of her life a self cleaning one it’s never good to lie to kids but under certain circumstances I believe it’s totally fine xxx
Maybe try toilet wipes ??? We use these for our kids
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She cries at the thought of it? That’s a sign of sexual abuse. Someone has hurt her “there”. Who has she been alone with, adult or child? It’s time to have that talk with your daughter about good & bad touches, nobody should be forcing objects into any body part etc. Take her to your pediatrician to be checked out. Then to counseling.
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Try some super soft baby wipes. Maybe that will help her. We have to use them
Wipe her yourself. When she gets upset or annoyed with mommy doing it she might just start doing it herself.
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Id get a doctor to talk to her. Or Get graphic and show her what being unhygienic will do to her health… infections etc. For a girl it is so important to be ontop of hygiene. Id scare her into making it a priority because looking after your health should be #1. But im a bit of a hard arse when it comes to things like that
This will change everything. Trust me.
Don’t flush “flushable wipes”. They clog pipes
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Botty wipes for the toilet bless her maybe sensory issues
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My son was the same age 10 now he won’t unless he uses wipes and wears a glove my son is ocd with dirt and germs
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Bidet? Wash rinse bottle? Peri bottle?
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My youngest daughter would refuse to use toilet paper she said that it felt yucky and hurt and she would get quite anxious about it.
She spent her first 2 years at school with a pack of toilet wipes in her bag so she could grab then when she needed to go.
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My youngest uses wipes. Hated loo paper as it broke up. So maybe it’s something simple and could be sorted
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Poor little girl. She will get it in time…soon I hope, for her sake.
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Flushable wipes and I’d see if therapy might help.
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Sounds like sensory issues as my 7 year old son will still not wipe himself I still do it using wipes.
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Some of these comments are sad. It could be anything from a sensory issue to something deeper than what it seems.
My advice would be to try the wipes like everyone else is suggesting. Also make sure nothing medical is going on that could cause her pain.
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OMG some people’s children! I’m referring to the adolescent commentators running straight to “sign of sexual abuse,” and get her a therapist. How about we listen to reason BEFORE diving off the “trauma ledge.” Majority of moms on here suggested wipes. I concur. Social story this to death if you can. I’d make sure she’s well hydrated and solid on her fiber just in case she’s struggling
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Try using some baby wipes
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My son almost 6 keeps asking me all of a sudden and had a couple of accidents in school lately. Its all down to him being lazy, not wanting to stop playing when he needs to go. The school have given him a green card he has to show when he needs to go. I dont see the point and I tell him you need to go you go. Anyway no accidents since the card s maybe its working and at home sometimes I will wipe him and sometimes I make him do it himself no problem.
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My daughter had the same issue she was a bit younger. She eventually grew out of it. One time I picked her up from the babysitter she was pooping as I got there and she was so excited came out of the bathroom and said ill finish wiping when we get home lol just thought I’d share that for a little laugh
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Have you physically looked at her anus? She could have fissures that make it too painful to wipe? Ppl barking at the poster speaking up about sexual abuse…well that poster is 100% right as for that being of a valid concern. Start out by looking first.
Get an over the seat bidet for home and send her wipes to school in a little purse bag she picks out so she is more confident if she has to go at school
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1.) Wipes
2.)Some people won’t agree, but whoop her butt she’ll learn quickly. (I did it with my son around that age, I’ve never had an issue since.)
My 7 year old is the same way! He says he’s scared of getting it in his hands! I’ve tried everything already but he refuses.
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We use wipes in my household. We don’t flush any. Just put them in the trashcan. I can’t stand the way toilet paper feels on my butt, and I don’t feel it cleans 100% so I always feel yucky down there.
Put wipes out for her.
Try toilet wipes. I have you explained that she can get an infection from it and may end up at the doctors?
Maybey there might be some sort of video/documentary that she can watch so she can understand the actual dangers behind not washing after pooping and can get very sick, or take her to the Dr so he can explain how sick she can get, it might sound cruel but even telling her she can die.
My late 10yr old daughter was really good when it came to washing hands, showers ect. We go out n soon as we get home she would wash her hands, my problem was her eating, she was tiny and was fussy and didn’t eat at school due to more important things. I hope you find something that works, it worked for me telling her if she doesn’t eat she will get that sick and end up in hospital and even die, like i said, she was tiny and couldn’t afford not to eat, she also had NF1. Sadly my baby was run over by a council truck 7th December 2020
Put to rest 23rd December 2020. Lacinda King forever 10yrs old.
Only have to google lacinda King and she comes up, I hate reporters because they just make there own story up.
Sorry for going of track, I just wanted to mention sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind, like saying the get really sick, go to hospital and die.Your doing your best, pls remember that, some kids do things that other kids won’t, your child may do things she should that other parents can’t get there child yo do. Pls don’t beat yourself up. Youl wake up one day snd realise she has been washing her hands for ages now. They grow out of bad habits
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I may be wrong but I would have her checked out for sexual abuse ijs. Unless she wiped herself to hard and now she scared. Try baby wipes
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My 8 year old has the same issue. For her she deals with extreme constipation. Even with the medications prescribed by her GI her BM’s are usually thick. She has a hard time getting herself clean. Will wipe a couple times and that’s it. Doesn’t worry about the poop in her undies or the smell. I now have her help me clean her undies so they don’t stain, I provide washable wipes and always try to check to make sure she wiped until there was nothing on the tp. We go through a lot if tp but she’s getting better and honestly it’s all I can ask for at the time. A little better each time. Good luck to you.
You know it could be something simple like she is afraid she will get poop on her hand. You have to ask her why she doesn’t like to wipe. Don’t talk to her about how bad it is etc bring her outside on the steps or in the back yard alone so you and she can talk alone. Question being did you teach her how to wipe her butt? (don’t get pissed at me) just trying to figure out what could be wrong. Make up a story when you talk to her example: You know when I was little I wiped my butt and got poop on my hand and I didn’t like that at all. So I had to wash my hands really good. This could be her problem. Just sit next to her and talk to her don’t badger her about it. There has to be a reason. Ask her if it hurts her butt to wipe. ok that’s about all I can say for now going to bed.
Same here my niece is 6 yrs old and we still have to wipe her
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Sorry I thought you meant washing hands, my bad j read it wrong, alot of kids gi through this around this age, it’s just a lazy rather play thing i think. Hope things get better soon
Make a deal with her. Tell her YOU will ALWAYS wipe her at home, IF she promises to wipe good with her baby wipes at school. As someone mentioned above, let her pick out a special pretty purse to carry her wipes in. If she doesn’t stick to her promise, she loses her cute bag.
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My sil took some mud & had her practice wiping with mud &!toilet paper!
My 8 year is the same but shel use baby wipes not toilet roll
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Tell her, that her ass is gonna fall off if she doesn’t wipe properly and she’s going to the only girl for the rest of her life with no butt. or order her some pink toilet paper for the house and a package of pink wipes for school.
My daughter HAS to use wet wipes. Regular toilet paper is to scratchy
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May sound harsh… But let her get thrush once or twice (from the improper wiping) she’ll see how fun that is and quickly change her ways 
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Tissue paper doesn’t actually get the area clean. Send her with baby wipes to use.
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look on you tube for videos for the child to watch on wiping after going potty
Show her what severe rash from poop can cause her butt
I will start with taking her to her pediatrician to make sure that nothing is wrong or causing her any sorts of pain or uncomfortably. If you use toilet paper try to get her wipes ( some toilet paper brands are not as soft it should be for a little kids ) not sure if this makes any sense at all .
Try to show her videos of kids ( like cartoon) doing it , as a last resource I will start taking stuff away, some kids are lazy and just want to be playing not stop .
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It has to be toilet wipes as cant flush baby wipes down toilet
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Honestly her not wanting to wipe light mean something more:/
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I would go with it have to get worst before it gets better. If she won’t wipe it will hurt eventually and than you can explain to her that it’s the 
not wiped. But you could also try to ask her why is she not wiping and see What she tell you, it might be laziness, or the paper not right or maybe some for of ocd-my little one calls me to wipe her bum because she is scared it might touch her hand
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Flushable wipes. My son is also 7 and he just doesn’t get it all with just normal toilet paper. Wipes are easier for him and way more gentle on the butt.
First step is figuring out why she isn’t wiping. Is she afraid of getting her hands dirty? Is she having difficulty reaching so she doesn’t try?
After that, model hand over hand how to wipe. Have her sit on the toilet, toilet paper or wipes in her hand, and guide her. Make sure you’re telling her to not wipe towards her vagina, towards the back or to the side only.
See if using wipes makes a difference but make sure she understands that wipes (of any kind) do not go in the toilet.
I would also have her checked and see if she has any physical issues that could be causing pain when wiping.
Otherwise it could just be a kid being a kid and not understanding the importance of wiping properly and it’ll take time.
In the meantime while she’s still learning I would see if having her go to the nurse after pooping/to poop would be an option so the nurse can help make sure that she’s clean.
Try keeping her stocked up on baby wipes.
Helped my youngest and school was on board and supportive.
Also a Bidet really helps, Walmart has one for $30
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Tell her worms are going to start coming out of her butt that’s what I’m about to tell my son
A supply of flushable wipes for home and in her bag for school! Good luck x
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Tell her she’ll end up in hospital and she’ll have to get needles in her bum and parts of her bum scraped off because she’ll end up with an infection…could also add that her bum will end up closing up and she won’t be able to poo and the poo will end up coming out of her mouth instead and taste bad…might work 
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Buy her some wipes with her favorite character on them. It helped me in this situation
Have you checked her bottom to make sure nothing wrong? That’s the first thing that comes to my mind. Then go in there with her and watch her wipe it could just be she’s very messy at wiping and that’s why she doesn’t do it. That would be my starting point if nothings hurting or wrong.
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Let her use a wet wipe then follow up with tissue when at home. Put wet wipes in her school bag & let her teacher take a few when they escort her to the bathroom.
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She may need some more lessons on wiping.It might be getting all over her hands and that’s why she won’t do it
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it also sounds like she sorta likes having a messy bum - cause she remembers mommy always wiping her bum when she was a baby or when she was toliet training- well now u have to tell if she wants to clean and not smelly after a poop she has to wipe her bum clean! also it could be a medical problem that she has and u should take her a doctor to see if there is something wrong with her back side . if not she will have to learn sooner or later her self , and maybe right now she’s not ready she wants mommy to do it for he!
Even flushable wipes shouldn’t be flushed! Js lol
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My kids are the same way. & It’s typically just them rushing, being lazy, trying to get back to whatever they were doing. They know better… & Still do it 
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l get paid over $165 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18517 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Just get a diaper genie with disposable bags and throw out on garbage day
My sons like this, he has ASD
Do you know if you don’t wipe yourself after going toilet flies will crawl up ya bum then your have to go doctors so they can get them out and if they can’t get them out guess what happens? your legs will fall off Lmao 
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Random thought? Could she be allergic or getting irritated by toilet paper?
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Sounds like a sensory issues might be worth looking into. See a pead. Maybe someone that isn’t you can teach her and talk to her.
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Give her moist wipes ( baby wipes ). Maybe toilet paper too harsh for her. Remember usually sensitivity issues are overlooked as something else. Try it. Just teach her to put in baggie then trash as cannot be flushed.
Someone around her that is new. Proceed with caution.
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Poor kid. Firstly, whatever you do, don’t make her cry about it.
If she’s crying when you mention in, there’s obviously something wrong. I haven’t had this issue yet, but I did have a son who took ages to be potty trained (I wanna say he was about 4-5 when he finally could use the toilet) all because the toilet scared the poop out of him.
Your job as a parent isn’t to make your child cry because of something they could be scared of.
I would sit down with her, make some tea or hot chocolate, just you and her, and gently ask her whats happening. Don’t force the issue. It could be nothing, or it could be that she’s hurt or terrified.
It’s possible after pooping she is too sore so doesn’t wipe . Unfortunately not wiping makes it worse. I’d get flushable wipes for her
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Keep training, no blaming .
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Is she scared the poop will get on her hands while wiping? Give her a reusable gloves and some wet wipes to try at home first so you can make sure she uses the gloves correctly.
Following ……I got some
Flushable
Wipes and tried that and every night check the bum before bed because he’s gotten like diaper rash from it. And we talk about the stinky factor and that it will eat his skin
And we will
End up in hospital
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My son is the same way so we started checking his bum after he poops and wiping for him. He is starting to wipe himself more now because he doesn’t want us looking at his bum
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Try a bidet maybe? It’s the thing that squirts water to clean
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U guys need to constantly remind her or even keep wiping her while she with yall. She will eventually do it herself so yall won’t.
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Bring her to your doctor and have the doctor explain why it’s so important
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Give her baby wipes to use instead of toilet paper
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I’d get her check out by Dr tmake sure no issues down there
I would get her some wet wipes but they cannot be flushed in the toilet. Keep a Ziploc bag for her in the bathroom. Tell her she has to zip the bag shut after she puts the wipes in the bag. Same thing for school.
I agree with someone who said use a bitet. But that’s not going to help her at school.
Yes the kids will tease her if she smells of poop. Plus all the other health concerns that come with it. Time to talk about it with your Dr. Good luck sweetheart