My 9 yr old boy does this. I told him if he didn’t start wiping I was guna pull down his pants and start checking seems to have worked so far cuz he’s afraid I really will start looking
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Maybe she’s scared of getting it on her hands try examining to her that’s why we wash our hands after maybe she’s afraid going to smear on her it could be bc its hard for her bottom bc irritated try flushable wipes or baby wipes but baby wipes you need to put in trash not down toliet…could be the toilet paper you maybe using irritates her bottom if this doesn’t work I would have her doctor talk to her and get to the bottom of why she want do…be patient
Oh gosh these kids. My daughter is 6 and does the same. They can’t not wipe their buttons forever…as much as we scold and shout its never going to happen,but I do show her the underwear and make her rinse it so she knows what happens when she doesn’t wipe and it’s gone so much better now…
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Yes wet wipes also fascinate them and make them want to try new things
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My son has autism/sensory issues so he refuses out of fear but allows me to help. at home y just go in andoi it an maybe she will be embarrassed and will figure it out.
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Do it for her , till she understands for her benefet …
Baby wipes and a lot of patience as scolding and yelling is not only going to embarrass her but make her want to start hiding undies and such. My 6 year old doesn’t wipe his booty so I wipe it and as I’m wiping I explain step by step as they will learn some day stubborn kids
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She needs your help in the moment not your shame
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My daughter was always wiping and one day she stopped… I made her clean the dirty underwear and she stopped 
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Put her back in diapers while she sorts her issues with her therapist
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Take a spoon and dunk into chocolate pudding. Say it’s what the outside of butt is before wiping. Then use wipe to clean it. Also my kids love the wet wipes so that may help encourage her to wipe
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If the school called iteans it’s definitely become an issue. My daughter bought a bidet machine that attaches to their toilet and everyone loves it and uses it.
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My daughter was horrible I told her I would have the teacher asked if she whipped after she went the bathroom and washed her hands if she doesn’t start doing it !! I would never really but it worked for school lol but for home I check every time and I left baby wipes in a warmer for her because now she will basically she’s doesn’t like the toilet and is always in a rush and she says she can’t reach so been their it’s hard with three to always be on my feet every time she uses the bathroom but recognizing those little things have made a big difference
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My 6 year old daughter is the same way and we always have baby wipes on hand and she doesn’t want to use those either. She holds it if she is in school. This is a daily conversation in our home. Very frustrating! She has it in her head that she will start wiping at 10. 
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I would use a reward system…I know it sounds funny but everytime I celebrate milestones with little things…like dollar tree pencils,rings,bubbles. Works for my 7yr old. Also I have my son try to wipe first and if he feels it’s not clean enough…I help out with wet wipes.
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Seems like there’s something going on. That’s a sign of m0lestation. Not saying she is being hurt. But that is a main sign
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Ok she is 7.
Now I think it’s time she gets used to taking a small bag to the bathroom EVEN AT HOME. Make it a ritual and stand outside the door and coach her. Explain the front to back wiping method and to use “special wipes” for her bum and biscuit and to toss them into a small trash bin by the toilet. Explain to her how to fold up her wipes discreetly so no one going to use the bathroom has to see her wipes just flopping about in the bin.
You might have to sit and show her what a diaper rash is, what a bottom ulcer is and what a bad yeast infection looks like if she isn’t properly cleaning herself. She should also learn to double check herself AND the toilet when she is done. If there is no toilet tissue then she hasn’t wiped. When she starts her monthly … which she could start by age 9, her leaving “evidence” of her cycle could be an issue as well. Forget privacy at this point… she needs extensive coaching and don’t make it embarrassing. Tell her you are reteaching her because you may have missed stressing the importance of staying clean.
If that doesn’t work you may been to bring in a doctor and nurse to educate her and maybe have her evaluated to see if there may be some learning difficulty or maybe she has some strange ritual in the bathroom and forgets?
I had to sit all three of mine at one point and explain how to maintain cleanliness and that’s why there is a trash can and wipes in there as well as toilet tissue.
And some kids want to stay dirty … because they may be being touched or have been touched inappropriately. 
it’s horrible but a possibility. This is why you don’t scold them you really need to be available for them to eventually talk to if they choose to.
My mom threatened to come sit at the school when we wasn’t doing what we needed to be doing, nothing like not wiping our ass or anything
My niece is the same. She doesn’t wipe when she does number one or two!! She smells. We’ve tried to talk to her about it and she most nights refuses to bath / shower also. We have to make her… or she’d never clean herself either… it’s horrible. I don’t know what to do to help her understand either.
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Can be used as a defense mechanism for children who have been molested… children think the smell will keep the person away and won’t hurt them anymore… talk with her!
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Could be a sign of molestation, get her tested
Also Maybe she’s scared of getting it on her hands. Get her flushable wet wipes.
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My sister in law said she didnt wipe her self until like age 10, she said she just simply did not want to get poop on her hand?
I know it might seem like strange advice but i wonded if maybe using a plastic glove ?? And then showing her she can keep the glove clean she wont get any on her hand? Just an idea if maybe thats going on
Let her be that stinky kid, and when she gets upset that she gets sent home from school for being smelly, maybe she’ll want to clean up after herself. She might get made fun of if she keeps this up. The nicknames that will come along with bullying is something you can always mention too. And how bad it could be if she gets poop particles in her privates. UTI will start occuring.
Tell her about all things that can happen if not wiping infection and all
I would try doing a sticker chart with those star stickers or special stickers let her pick them out and choose an amount of stickers that she has to earn before she gets a reward and give her a sticker every time that she does what she needs to do. And you can go to the Dollar tree and actually get a cute sticker chart for it.
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My friends son had an issue with wiping his butt because he was afraid to get poop on his hand. She allowed him to have a rubber glove to wear while he wiped and that solved the problem.
I do recall I still had my mom help me when I was that age. Not sure why but my guess was she could get it all clean compared to me. So I suggest flushable wipes as I love them as an adult and they clean better
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Teach her how to do her own laundry. Explain why she’s doing it. Puts the clean up on her, and teaches a life skill as well. Have her doctor explain the importance of clean hygiene in that area. It’s ok if she is embarrassed, that’s honestly a motivator in reinforcing the task and how important it is. If it didn’t matter to her she wouldn’t be embarrassed. My daughters almost 4 and she’s just so FOMO about everything she’ll skip over wiping up front. Wiping in the back she just doesn’t always get it all the way clean and has me go behind her and check.
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Get a bidet that go on your toilet, at Walmart and my grandkids love using it.
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Does she have ADHD? Does she have sensory issues?
I’ve seen my ADHD kiddo rush through all kinds of hygiene practices or simply not do them because his mind is already on the next thing.
I’ve seen some kids just straight up have sensory issues with wiping properly.
Try finding and addressing the root cause of the behavior.
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Make her wash her underware…she will quickly get grossed out…it worked for my daughter…yuck yuck
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Strange, just now on the news 5-30-2022 authorities are saying do not flush the flushable wipes because of damage to system??
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My daughter is 5, she uses wipes for when she poops. She knows to throw it in the trash though. She will use toilet paper when she pees but has to have wipes for anything more.
My daughter has ADHD & is the same. She just has other things on her mind & is always in a hurry. She’s rather not do it, than learn. She’s only 6 but sounds the same.
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What about giving her wet wipes…
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Some people HATE toilet paper. Maybe try flushable wet wipes? It’ll help her get it all too
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Dry toilet paper may bother her and it might be a sensory issue for her so try wet wipes
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Start punishing her like time out and take away everything that she likes
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She’s old enough to reason with, ask her why
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Consequences. If you don’t do then then you loose something. 
. Something that is important to her. 
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Just let her sit on the toilet until she figures it out. Make her go back & do it again if you can smell it. My daughter was like this at 7-8 & I tried everything. I eventually just refused to help her. I got her wipes, showed her how to do it so it was all in her hand lol literally. She figured it out in a couple weeks.
Curious…what did the school tell you? Just that they noticed she smelled bad or something?
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My almost 5 year old still struggles with this as well
My 13 year old daughter, who has Autism only wipes with baby wipes… nothing else
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I keep baby wipes on the back of the toilet, and have for a long time to help with this. It’s non negotiable in our home. You need to clean yourself after you use the bathroom. Toilet paper was hard for them, so the wipes helped a lot.
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Have you told her about the infections that can happen if you don’t wipe properly??
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I worked for Behavioral Health for 35 yrs , raised 7 kids… do NOT punish!!! Seek professional help
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Does she not like wiping and scared to get poop on herself?? My kiddo wore gloves until she felt comfortable wiping em without. Maybe flushable wipes will help??
I showed my kids , worms and told Them they would show up in their butt if they didn’t wipe. I actually think they are still traumatized
Baby wipes, but also speak to her doctor about this, have them (another trusted adult) explain to her the importance of it, and why from a health stand point. If this is unsuccessful she may need behavior or occupational therapy. They’re could be an underlying reason why she has an aversion.
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She has a issue with poop get a therapist it will get worst if you do not
I see a lot of suggestions for wet wipes and that’s an excellent idea but obviously it’s not easy to do at school or anywhere else away from home. Maybe make a big deal of taking her shopping for a nice little purse that she can tuck them away into so she can take them with her discreetly.
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Quit babying her and make her do it. Jesus. My 3 yr old wipes their own ass even
I saw a video of a teacher using two balloons tied to the back of a toddler chair acting as bum cheeks, peanut butter between them, and child sits in the chair and you show them how to wipe until it’s clean. This may be more effective then teaching with actual poop… I get the hesitation
She’s telling you she still needs help and isn’t confident in her ability yet. Work with her at home and try using more empathy. We don’t just innately learn how to navigate in the world, parents need to guide their children
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Maybe explaining more in depth, what poop consists of? ( broken down food that becomes waste, that then can actually cause sores on their bum?) pictures of a baby rash maybe, caused by poop staying on the skin too long?
Some kids are visual, so visual aids will help explain why it needs to be done !
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Might sound crazy but I showed my kids pictures of body worms and told them they’ll get worms in their butt if they don’t wipe. Hey it worked 
when my grandson was learning we got him these wipes, that had a frog on the covering of the package he thought they were great
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Have you properly taught her?
Does she have ADHD? Sensory issues? Autistic?
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Make her take a bath every time she dosen’t wipe. Usually kids aren’t crazy about bathing at that age.
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We have a bidet attchment on our toilet. My 4 year old uses it after he poops
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Not to sound mean, but once her peers start avoiding her or calling her poopy girl, harsh as it is, she’ll figure it out. Give her some wipes in a ziplock baggie and she can keep it in her pocket.
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I let my son use wipes still cause he doesn’t like the toilet paper feeling on his bum yet. You’ll have to start disciplining her take things away & showing her gross bum pictures of what happens when you dont wipe all the infections it can cause.
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My step daughter was like this. I spent days following her to the bathroom to make sure she wiped and got her wet wipes. Especially since it’s summer she don’t have school.
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I had this problem with my son. It’s a phase. I had the doctor talk to him and it stopped
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I would get her an occupational therapy eval.
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Uhh my 8 year old still wears pull-ups… won’t use the toilet or wipe himself so least be happy she’s using the toilet. Oh I forgot this is mamas uncut and not an autism page.
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Maybe she has adhd or sensory issues, please talk to her dr to rule it out or she could just be lazy tho.
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My almost 9 year old son still needs help with wiping. He is autistic ADHD and has a ton of sensory issues… I don’t punish him I help him and I encourage him to try and do it himself when possible and he used to be the stinky one at school also but I sent him with wipes and extra clothes
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I send a carry case of baby wipes with my son.
Unless she has an underlying disorder this is very concerning. Choosing to be dirty is not something most kids do. Yes many have trouble wiping efficiently but just choosing not to do so at all would worry me greatly.
If it got to the point the school called me tbh I would start taking away screens until it got done. This is a very important issue not just for others acceptance and comfort but for her own health and hygiene. Not wiping at all is laziness, crying when you bring it to her attention and try to help her is manipulative at this point. I’d make her shower daily and I’d take away screens until it improves.
If this doesn’t help take her to the pediatrician and ask them for advice or referral for a pediatric psychiatrist
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Take her to her Dr. Sometimes kids will hold it in so much they get constipated and it starts leaking out.
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Will she do it if she has flushable wipes?
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My youngest is like this and I promise he has adhd like his momma, its just not diagnosed yet. He has a ton of sensory issues so we use wipes. He wont do it himself, hes so grossed out by it. Idek what we will do when he starts school in August 
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Buy baby wipes, see if she would like the wipes better then toilet paper. Or change your toilet paper brand
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Try wet wipes followed by tissues she might use those x
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I had mine pick our pretty pretty panties. She loved them. I explained that she must keep them clean… or back to serviceable ugly panties. That worked !!
Get her go to the store and buy flushable wipes. They have some specifically for ladies that she might like.
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Yes discipline her give her consequences to her actions she will start doing it
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Get Baby wipes for the bathroom.
Makes wiping 
so much easier.
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I would have another adult try talking to her like a teacher, school counselor, or her Dr. Sometimes kids just will not listen to their parents, cause after all what do we know 
Also like plenty of others have said maybe try wipes with her. I would think it would cause a rash and hurt at some point always walking around with poop on her butt and in her underwear. Maybe spend mommy daughter day with her and let her pick out some girly hygiene items. All us fails start taking things away from her and tell her “well since you won’t wipe then ya gotta go back to wearing diapers”. But I would first ask her WHY, and not a time when your fighting already about it.
It might actually hurt for her to wipe. Kids won’t tell sometimes because they are embarrassed. Take her to a doctor and see if there is another issue before punishing a child.
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So my daughters psycho educator has told us to do it with her our hand on hers to teach her how hard to wipe etc. It helps teach how to do it properly and gives confidence in her ability. She’s almost 6 and autistic. Maybe that could help? That being said my 8 yro sometimes sharts herself and either doesn’t give a flying … or doesn’t notice we can’t seem to pinpoint and have no answers so good luck momma it’s a hard gig to figure out
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Get her flushable wipes
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For everyone saying flushable wipes, I hope y’all know about fatbergs in your sewer/septic. Neither system can handle them because they do not degrade. They are an amazing concept, though they don’t break down enough. If you get them, just be sure to toss them in the trash.
If nothing else is working, let her be the stinky kid. Maybe peer pressure and embarrassment is what’ll break thru to her.
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get a bidet maybe she will like that feeling and keep it clean
My 8 year old didn’t refuse to wipe but she just struggled. I got a bidet for at home and it is a life saver! It helped her gain the confidence wiping without the mess… now she is more confident doing it without the bidet when she’s out
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My daughter is same way but if i get her wipes she will use them. She may not like how the toilet paper feels.
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Have you showed her how to wipe?
The toilet paper could make it hard for her to wipe. My daughter is 10, I bought her flushable baby wipes and it made going to bathroom easily.
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At least she’s going. I’m having a hell of a time with 7yr old grandson POOPING HIMSELF several times a day everyday. Dr says he lazy. No punishment works. He don’t care. It’s like he likes it
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Do flushable wipes my middle son would of had me wiping his butt til 30 but he’s been doing well since 5 but just uses flushable
I have an ADHD 10 yr old that does this. With an attitude to boot. She isnt with me full time so idk how to fix it. When she is here i take her screen away and make her shower. I see alot of adhd kids this is norm, which makes me feel slightly better (i feel like im losing my mind everytime she visits). Im at a loss of what more to do. Ive done wipes. Anyways you should get the child checked for her mental health. Could be a sign that she has ADHD or some other issues.
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Amazon has easy and low cost bidets you can attach to your toilet. I think that’d help.
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What about installing a bidet? Would she be willing to use that?
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One teach her how to do it properly, two try out baby wipes and as someone else said a bidet. Could be a sensory issue that she doesn’t like the feeling of toilet paper
They make a bidet you can add to any toilet maybe that would help?
Maybe motivate her with some smell good girly cleansers. Bath products. Let her bath at home after she poops. Once she’s accustomed to always feeling clean, she won’t like to feel otherwise. She will also be more aware of a bad odor.
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