I have this with my son and hes 9. I certainly dont punish him for it!!! First step is medical route. Second is continuance clinic, 3rd is psychological support. Your making it worse with punishment.
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Our pediatrician told us not to say anything after we ruled out a physical problem. We supplied pull- ups until my son announced he no longer needed them. All I can suggest is gently suggesting to make time to pee or take a poo and wipe thoroughly when done. They do make big kid wipes.
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Make him go to the bathroom every hour. My 4 yr old has accidents and this was recommended by the pediatrician.sometimes kids get distracted playing or laughing and hold it in for too long until its too late.
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Have you taken him to the Dr. about it? Kidney issues, UTI, even sleep apnea. If itās not medical I personally wouldnāt punish him itās possibly going to make it worse.
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The comments have reassured me. My middle child is a deep sleeper and he still has night accidents. Not as many, especially since Iāve had him stop drinking anything after 7.
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It was a medical issue for my son. A chemical that his brain wasnāt producing during sleep to wake him up when he had to go. Doctor prescribed DDAVP until his brain started producing the chemical and that medicine worked.
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Please, please donāt punish him for this. It could be an underlying medical condition and Iām sure heās already embarrassed.
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My sons doctor said to just let him be, after we ruled out any physical or inside issues. Said boys sometimes just take longer. My son was almost 15 before he stopped and we tried everything. Nothing worked.
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Kids who have some sort of anxiety tend to wet the bed. Especially if they are adjusting to a bug change like a new school, divorce or constant arguing in the family, moving to a new home, new family member, etc. Talk to his doctor for solutions.
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Take him and get him checked out by a doctor. Not sure where you are from but in the UK we have specailst childrens services who can offered pads and devices which help children learn when they need to go, a toileting program may help. If you do nor drink enough it will make you pee more and can also cause constipation which can lead to children being incontinent as its painful to open thier bowels. We advise never to reduce fluids, not to react when a child is incontent but to reward the positives ie if theu use the toilet appropriately. We are recomended not to refer to incontence as an accident as that can imply to a child that it causes pain or upset.
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I peed until 11ā¦ I had to have surgery and my parents took me to the dr found out it was a medical issue.
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Have a potty alarm. Set it for every hour and he has to go potty when the alarm sounds and for night time set the alarm for midnight and take him to the bathroom.
It may be something more than just accidents. Take him to the doctor to make sure he doesnāt have a UTI or any other bladder/bowel issues.
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Sounds like a medical or sensory problem to me.
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I got mine potty trained we started at age 2 and we used little pice of candy that she loves
Schedule breaks in his activities as heās indicated that he doesnāt want to miss outā¦
I mean youāre punishing him with the things hes afraid hes going to miss out on which is the problem in the first place. Itās like adding fuel to the fire
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Have known several boys who wet the bed until 14!!!
Talk with his doctor. It could be medical.
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Have you taken him to a doctor yet??
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I would take him to a specialist. There may be something going on with him .
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Medical take care of it .he may be making excuse do the medical problem.
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Could be a problem with REM sleep
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See a doctor and give him kids culturel every day. Donāt miss a day
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My stepson did not stop nighttime wetting until 11 years old. We had ultrasounds done and everything. The urologist told us It is genetic and normally grow out of around the same time one of his parents did if they had the issue (which was true in our case). And he is an extremely deep sleeper. Couldnāt hurt to have him seen by a urologist to rule out any medical conditions. I would be much more worried about poopingā¦ could be an issue where the intestine or bowl is too large and he cannot feel that he has to go. Has he ever had constipation issues? That would need a GI visit.
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Has he been checked out by his pediatrician? My son went through this too. I had him go to the bathroom after eating, then an hour before bedtime and then again right before bed. I also stopped all drinks and food about an hour before bed. If he had a very active day I would wake him up before I went to bed (around 11pm) to go to the bathroom. It took some time but it worked. I did not punish him if he had an accident but I did talk to him every time it happened. Sometimes he said he was scared to go to the bathroom because it was dark, so I put nightlights up in the room and the bathroom and that helped alot when he woke up in the middle of the night.
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Definitely take him to his doctor to be checked out. And donāt say negative things to him about these occurrences or take away Privileges as it will likely do more harm than good. And consider that this may be trauma or emotional related. Also, have you and your S/O considered seeing a counselor/therapist to learn how to approach him and deal with this issue without causing emotional upset and it getting worse and/or not being resolved? Personally I think it would be a good idea. You would probably only need 1 or 2 sessions. Just a thought.
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My son did this till he was almost 10 1/2, my brother even longer. My son is now 12, I had him wear pullups nightly. It wasnāt until he wanted to start sleeping at his friends house that I had to remind him that maybe itās not a good idea because of his accidents. I would ask him during the day if he had to use the bathroom, I would make him go before laying down nightly and his doc told me to wake him before I laid down and to make sure heās fully awake to understand whatās going on and the feeling of having to use the bathroom. Then one day, he just stopped having accidents. Several days went by with the pullups and NOTHING. Not sure if he grew out of it age wise but it just happened. He was done with all accidents! Iām grateful but it was a rough road, be supportive and talk to the doc! Maybe diff methods will work for him! Taking things away wont help, may make it worse! Every child is different! I wish you the best of luck. Breath and be patient, its not fun for you but itās not fun for him either! 
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I understand bathroom issues are so hard to deal with! In my family, we have had our fare share! For the daytime messes, Iād say check with the doctor. Maybe have him tested for ADHD. My 8 yo daughter has ADHD and potty trouble occasionally too. She gets so focused on something that she doesnāt want to take a break. But itās not all the time. When it starts happening again, we remind her that what shes doing will wait (the beauty of on demand tv is that you can pause it to go to the bathroom!) Her siblings have been a great help because they will stop playing until she comes back from the restroom. Shes number 5 of 6, and her siblings all understand the problem though.
My now 12 year old son wet the bed at night, multiple times every night and he was probably 7 or 8 before it started to slow down to 2 or 3 dry nights a week. I think he was dry most of the time by the time he was 10 and very few accidents after that. It seemed like NOTHING we did would help him. O liquids after dinner. We took him to the bathroom 3 or 4 times a night and he would be wet every time. With our doctors help we figured out that he was just a very deep sleeperā¦he was so dead out he couldnāt even wake up when we took him to the bathroom. When he was about 6 and a half, we put his baby brother in the same bedroom and brought his sound machine along. The nights the sound machine was on, he would be dry when we took him to go before we went to bed for the night. We figured that was keeping him from falling too deeply asleep, so we left it running all night every night. I wont say it was a cure all, but it certainly did help a lot. We didnāt have to change bed sheets 3 times a night anymore! He was easier to wake when we took him to the pottyā¦and I honestly believe having the music on helped him be able to train his bladder to rest more at night.
The only punishment we ever had to do with him was taking away his basketball shorts. He came home from preschool one day and he smelled SOOO bad! I asked him if he had an accident at school and he said no. I smelled his pants and it nearly killed me! I said, well then, why are your pants so stinky? And the little booger looked up at me and said come on mom, these pants dry super fast and they never look wet! 
he had to wear jeans to school for 2 weeks after that before I let him have his breezy pants back!
My son did the same I put pull ups on him and he is 9 now he currently doesnāt wet the bed he had no issues after 7 I stopped giving liquids after 5 bedtime is 8:30 I had him use the restroom and made him go if he didnāt he would have things taken away it worked for us. Hitting or spanking will most likely make it worse
Try a timetable so he goes at set times he will hopefully get into the habit something like in the morning after dinner after tea before bed keep an eye out for the times he does it and try the toilet at that time donāt make anything of it if he has an accident then the pressure is off if he is relaxed it will help its hard work I know but hang in there he may feel pushed out with the other kids so make a fuss of him hope this helps xx
He needs to see the Dr.
As weird as it sounds have a couple movie days on the toilet. (We have a soft seat for our kids toilet) either with the iPad or whatever. It helped my toddlers to understand it better. And every half hour to hour (whatevers easier) make him go to the bathroom.
Have him go to the bath room about ever thirthy min to an hour for a while. Or get him a stop watch. Set it. Tell him when it gos off it is time to go potty
It worked 4 my grand son
i wouldnt punish him Iād get a sticker chart and reward him when he does good. imo
potty watches are good
if ur like me u put the kids to bed early
wake him up at 1 and have him use the bathroom
My nephew is 10 and had the same issues up til 9 when they found he needed a fiber powder supplement and more fluids to properly clear his bowels and also found that he had a bunch of kidney stones. Now he is checked routinely and keeps up with his fiber supplement and fluid intake and hasnt had an issue since. I would consult a doctor quickly. With Colton it really affected him mentally.
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My oldest son wet the bed until he was 11. We did a chart (like candy land) and everytime he would make it to the next color (without wetting the bed) heād get a prize (stay up later, extra snack etc). We also made sure he did not drink after 7pm We put a āweeweeā pad (a hospital bed pad) on his bed just in case. If he wet the bed, heād be responsible to take all of his stuff down to the laundry room and weād start the counting the days all over. Reward the positive and, in this case, ignore the negative. My youngest pooped in his underwear until he was about 5. While we didnāt punish him, he would have to be the one to clean up whatever āmessā he made. Heās now 9 and no more issues. Butā¦ he refuses to poo anywhere but home.
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Definitely talk to his doctor just in case there is an underlying problem. But this is way more common with boys then girls. And usually day time is because as he said he doesnāt want to miss out on something. Night time is alot of times out of their control I wet the bed til probably 8or 9, my oldest wet til 7 and my now almost 5 year old still wets we are all heavy sleepers.
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Instead of punishing him for these accidents why donāt you try to reward him each time he goes to the toilet? Give him a sticker, or explain if he does good all week at the end of the week he can do something he wants or go somewhere?? Punishing the child when you donāt know what is going on isnāt right.
Get his sugars tested.
The exact same thing happened to my daughter. It might be something worth checking into- we eventually got a second opinion and referral from her pediatrician for a g.i. and it turned out eventually she had CELIAC. She was age 5 and struggled constantly with pooping and peeing (occasionally) in pull ups, because she COULDNT feel it when she had to go, because she was constipated that her bodyās rectum had enlarged and cut off the nerve endings.
She has struggled for the last 7 years (frustration galore) on being able to go to the bathroom. Once we got her regulated on mirilax, taking it on the daily, and eliminating gluten, she is now finally back in underwear, and going on the toilet, because she can now feel it because her rectum has shrunk and the nerves are working again, when she has to go.
My daughter constantly used the excuse of wanting to play with her friends too. The reminders will be constant- of reminding them that they have to go. If they cant feel it when they have to go, thats a big indicator that something is wrong. Sometimes when my daughter didnt want to go, she would say it hurt to go. That would give me a clue, shes either backed up, or her dose needs to be increased STAT. And as long as it was caught in time, we were able to correct the situation, and then regulate the dose afterwards.
So no, if this is something that may possibly be going untreated or diagnosed, it may not go away. Its a hard struggle! This isnt something that has a magic cure to go away. It will take time, routine, and perservance to get through this.
School was hard enough as it is, and we needed to be a 2 person income. Schools with pull ups with a drs note and diagnosis is doable, but hard as well.
I would do a potty chart daily for every time he went on the potty he got to put a sticker on the chart each time. ( thatās for pee or poop )then at the end of the week give him a reward of some kind. Plus also could be a medical issue? Make a Drs appointment for him to see his Dr. Donāt ever punish a child for having wetting themselves or pooping there pants. When they do you talk to them away from the other kids. Like a hour and half before bed cut off his drinks and right before bed make sure he goes to the bathroom. Keep on him. Also remind him what ever he was doing will always be there he needs to stop and go potty.
Make a potty chart! W a reward after so many successes! My son was peeing the bed but we made
It a habit for him to pee every night before bed and if he fell asleep before peeing Iād wake him up to go!
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My son needed to be put on adderall bc we had the same problem an found out he has ADHD since then he hasnāt had any accidentsā¦
Children do this for a number of reasons. Could there be problems at school perhaps bullying? Does he play video games that are frightening? Has he got bladder and urine infection as a result of holding on for too long or is he simply just lazy to go? Either way it can only be resolved if you ask the obvious questions and seek doctors advice. Sometimes if you draw too much attention to his problem, it then becomes psychological. Good luck.
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Some times you have to wake him up and make him go to the restroom at night