I have a soon to be the seven-year-old girl who still has almost daily accidents and wets the bed every night. She’s hasn’t successfully gone a full week without accidents in years. When we first potty trained at 2.5-3, she was excellent and even stopped bed wetting, but then she started getting reoccurring UTI’s(common with the women on my side), and she never improved from there. She’s seen multiple Dr’s, who just kept telling me she would stop when she’s ready… She finally saw a urologist a few months ago, did an ultrasound, came back normal. The urologist said it’s normal to not be potty trained until six years old… to use Miralax for three months straight to “reset” her bowels. I’ve used Miralax for weeks at a time in the past with her, and it’s never worked. I can’t get her to consume enough liquid, I think, to have it work. I have done reward systems, and that just causes her to lie so she can get what she wants without actually doing it. I’ve done timers, I’ve had her clean up her own messes, I’ve taken tv and tablets away. Her sisters are beginning to despise her because she keeps peeing on all of their furniture, and she doesn’t care. The only rule I even have left with her anymore is that if she has an accident, to not sit in dirty clothes… I’m at my wit’s end. She won’t do anything else. I feel life a failure that I can’t get her to be better. Idk what else to do. If anyone has any experience or words of wisdom, please, please share them. I feel so alone with this issue.
How does she do at school or with friends? If she handles in those situations I’d say it’s a grab for attention so stop giving it to her. If she doesn’t then I’d look into alternative treatments for her, she may have lost her urge sensation due to UTI’s. Sorry it’s a tough one to figure out!
I would put pull-ups on her. I’m 30 years old and I have bladder problems and my whole family was tired of me peeing on the furniture it’s not like I could help it so I just got adult diapers
A few years back I knew a 'kid’s who did this, at 13 was still wetting the bed. Turns out it was a hormone problem, their body wasn’t telling them they needed to go. Doctor prescribed some tablets and it never happened again
My 5 to be years old son wet his bed only at night lets say one or twice a week any advice for me works too
Try reducing refined sugars and flours in her diet. My daughter’s urologist recommended it as it is bowel impaction that affected her continence. It worked. It cleaned her out after a couple weeks and her incontinence did improve.
My daughter wasn’t potty trained at night until she was nearly 8. I never punished. I started layering sheets and bed liners so when there was an accident, we could just strip a layer and go back to sleep. But, I did not have issues when she was awake. Other than pull ups, I have no advice. I wish you luck. But, have you had her blood sugar checked? Frequent urination can be a sign of diabetes.
She may need to see a counselor for an underlying issue. My son was having problems as well and after he started seeing the counselor he stopped.
Perhaps there a underlying issue. From my personal experience i had a child that did this but it down to epilepsy and was having up to 100 fits day and night. Maybe just talk to doctor again. Xx
Sounds more like she’s doing this on purpose and I’ve met a few older kids that have done this. Acting out, wants attention, being too lazy.
My son still wet the bed until he was 10 . But no accidents durning the day
No fluids before bedtime
Cut off her liquid intake at 7pm or 2 hours before she goes to bed. That way she can go to sleep with out peeing the bed.
My daughter had this problem until almost the age of 9. Her brain was not waking her to go pee. Her bladder was not growing properly. She had to have it stretched and all bed wetting stopped.
Stress can be a factor, meaning she knows how you feel about it, and react to it.
Also, we found out with one of my kids that he had a reflux backing up into his kidneys. You have to do a test where they place a catheter in, and use dye…can’t remember what the test was called but it was done because of frequent UTIs. Ended up having surgery, put in a stent of some sort.
Talk to her maybe something is happening in her life that’s causing her to wet the bed
Try a counselor
She may be hiding some form of abuse from you.
Do whatever the medical experts advised you to do dont shame her dont leave her dirty clean her up use pull ups and look after yourself too worrying is not good for you children are all different id one who had accidents and another one who came out of nappys and never wet herself or had any accidents the nurse did tell me kids sometimes hop on and off the toilet doing a bit each time they dont always sit on the toilet and finish in one trip
The cutting off liquids before bed doesn’t work for everyone. Esp if it is hormonal or they are deep sleepers.
There is usually an underlying issue. First is to see if she does this outside the home (sleepovers, other family) then try to go from there. She could be a deep sleeper. If so, she may not be triggered to wake up. It’s not always a bad reason they wet the bed. It’s hard.
Not all kids are lazy…however, some are. It’s frustrating.
Before you continue with threats, punishment. See if there is abuse, or something psychological. Maybe she needs to speak to someone privately.
Personally, I wouldn’t shame her or embarrass her in front of anyone. Esp not knowing what it going on.
Ps: are you p uh tying pull ups or something to help in case she does? Or just let her wet everything and self??
Further testing may need to be done. Both my kids who are 13 and 8 are seeing a specialist that figured out the issue when other doctors did not. I’ve tried everything that has been mentioned and nothing worked. It has nothing to do with their intake or acting out. Please do not punish or get upset with her. Feel free to pm me and I can go into more detail about what has helped with my two. It also helps to find the right doctor to listen.
Does she know when she needs the toilet? My son needed an alarm attached to his pull up to train his brain
I spent a lot of my childhood in the hospital because of a very similar situation. UTIs are common in the women in my family. It will take time but she will eventually just wake up one day and not do it again. But then again, one of my cousins peed the bed all life.
My daughter was like this when she was 6. She was potty trained with 2 and she got really bad when she was 4. I went to different doctors they all said nothing is wrong. One doctor made a test to measure the volume of her bladder. He said it did not grow with the rest of her body. It was to small. We got a little machine to but on her it was little electrodes to put on her bladder and it was attached to a computer. She could move the trunk of an elephant if she could make her pelvic floor tied. It helped her to train it and it got better.
Leaky gut. Could be a nutritional component. Gluten, eggs, dairy normally at least one if not all. I would try an elimination diet 30 days and see if she improves. Medical doctors are not skilled to discuss nutrition. You could also try taking her to a nutritionist or more of a wholistic practioner that is more skilled in these areas. If I was betting I’d pick gluten. Research on this. Good luck.
You just said yourself that you haven’t stuck with making her do miralax. You need to force her and yourself to stick with it. Likely getting many UTI’s because she is backed up. The miralax ensures she is having regular bowel movements. When she can’t, the colon presses up too much against the bladder and literally cuts off being able to urinate which causes pain, uti, and can cause more severe things/symptoms if just left untreated. No doctor is going to tell you it’s normal to not be potty trained by age 4, sorry but I’m calling bs on that one. That child needs a therapist and a psychologist to figure out what’s really going on.
My almost 10 year still has accidents at betime only. We went to the doctor and her brain don’t produce the chemical we all do to say wake up and go! She can take meds for it but it causes brain Aneurysms so we will wait a couple more years. Her sister was the same way and is now fine after a couple years of meds
I would switch doctors and I seriously hate to say it, but I agree with the ones that said something might be going on that you don’t know about. Let’s pray that it’s something like the school doesn’t allow enough bathroom breaks and her little bladder is now messed up… getting a uti is normally common in families and woman who are sexually active, not in 7 year old girls. Again, let’s pray it’s something as simple as she doesn’t wipe properly, or sitting in the mess is what is causing recurring infections and not what seems more obvious to some of us… abuse. Seriously hope you find answers and healing.
I had a similar experience with myself when I was around that age. I am 40 now but it wasn’t until my mom put a stop to us going to our dads for the weekend. He never hurt us, but his wife was a terrible person and it just stressed me out and I started having accidents from about kindergarten to 2nd grade. When she didn’t let us go back it stopped. I didn’t realize until I was older that stress was the cause and I hope to God it isn’t worse than maybe something that she just isn’t comfortable with and stressed out about but look deeper into it.
My daughter did this no uti in my family she started kindy and kids started teasing her she came to me and I said we need to stop being lazy and wee in toilet your friends and games can wait a min… Well it worked cruel I know but it did she is now almost 18 lol but I do have a 8 year old boy who sometimes craps himself that’s stressing me I tried everything also
what happened that she reversed to bed wetting, something traumatic perhaps.
Our dr said no milk at dinner (we ate around 6) and only a small sip of water before 7. Our daughter stopped wetting the bed. Bedtime was 8:30.
My son benefited from going to psychologist that does hypno therapy. The stopped almost immediately. Make all physical problems have been ruled out
The dr said its normal. She is too busy playing and won’t bother using the bathroom or she may be a heavy sleeper. She will grow out of it. You’re doing great as a mom.
Had a friend’s child like that doctors said he was a heavy sleeper and being his opening was small he didn’t know he was setting till it was to late and during the day they had to set up that he would go to the restroom every hour and at night nothing to drink after dinner and to wake him to go before she went to bed and again in the middle of the night and the moment he woke up.
Try a chiropractor as a nerve could be pinched it happened to my son from being twisted when born.
I did this as a little girl. Until I was 10 or so. Didn’t matter what my mom did she cut off drinks at 8:30, wake me up at around 12am to go to the bathroom, we tried everything. My mom just put things on my bed. Doctors never had a cause I also had UTIs a lot and very very bad anxiety. My mom had to use pull-ups and put stuff under the sheets. I truly just couldn’t wake myself up. It was never for attention, I was very ashamed I did it and embarrassed. Never could spend the night off cause I was terrified I’d pee on someone’s bed. She never shamed me, was very patient. I thank her for that. I eventually stopped.
She needs an mri of the LS spine and a vcug to check for reflux. A simple ultrasound won’t diagnose
Mom of above answer: docs kept saying “its only a quality of life issue”. Made me crazy. They finally gave her a med for overactive bladder. Only 2 months…perfect after that!
I would put her in Good Nights or a similar product for older children. I don’t think it’s on purpose but its senseless to soil her clothes or furniture.
Some sorta behavioral issue? Autism, adhd? I have a freinds whos son has ADHD and he still has accidents maybe get her into a behavioral specialist
My gramdma had this issue with an uncle of mine. Set a timer. Make your child come in from play time to go. My uncle would get so preoccupied playing that he wouldnt pay attention to the need of going.
Have her use the bathroom before bed. No drinks 1 hour before bed and make sure she’s wiping herself right. That can cause a UTI. Get her wipes
Is something going on at school or in the home you are unaware of?
Find a different doctor and have them see if her organs are growing at the rate they are supposed to be.
My brother had this problem and his organs were literally growing faster than he actually was which is what caused the bed wetting and such.
I’ve heard that Chiropractic services help with kids that struggle with toilet training at older ages.
My kids were both bed wetters , as was I, and their doctor told me their bodies just were not mature enough. He recommended a medicine, could be pill form or a nasal spray. Both did nasal sprays and it worked! Eventually, they both stopped as they grew up.
Wake her up nicely to pee one or two hours after she sleeps, no drinks before bed, also get her a soaker pad to sleep on. Good luck.
My oldest was like this doctor gave mes to help “dry” her out we had to give it at dinner time and nothing to drink up to 4/5 hours before bed
Try setting an alarm? Maybe 4:45am? Take her to the bathroom then let her go back to bed? They do sell odd alarms for this? One part is on the underwear, with a sensor that sets a alarm off when it gets wet? But I would just coach her to go pee then back to bed when this goes off?
Don’t worry mom you aren’t alone. Once I was sure there were no underlying issues ie abuse trauma etc we went to a specialist. Some little girls aren’t releasing a full urine. It can drip and leak into the underwear. At night we use pullups to avoid her bedding getting dirty, we’ve stopped liquids earlier before bed and we are working with an alarm. Try setting an alarm for every hour or whatever you think is best and have her get herself up to try to use the bathroom. She may need to stand and resit and adjust her body so the extra urine can release. Its due to a weak muscle down there.
DON’T GIVE UP MAMA!!
Stress caused my child to be a night bed wetter until almost 10. When we removed ourself from the environment we was in and got a new house and bed (put a mattress protector on it) his accidents quit. Give yourself credit and give her time.
You can’t say there’s nothing wrong with her bladder by and intra sound. She need to have a urine flow test she also should have blood work done and see if her insulin is off
Sometimes children grow faster than their bladders. Hense the problem with bed wetting. I would talk to her pediatrician and see if that is the case
We had same issue with my daughter. Went to dr and needed tonsils and adenoids removed. It got better 2 weeks later no more accidents. She was having a hard time breathing at night cuz they were enlarged. Try a regimen wake in middle of night to use bathroom. Good luck it does stop in time. Dont try to rush it
My daughter had accidents at night until she was almost 9. I would definitely take her to another specialist if daytime accidents are still happening. Especially if there was a period of time she was potty trained. My daughter’s ended up being other issues as well but I would get 2nd and 3rd opinions from specialists in urology. I remember being frustrated and I ended up buying pull ups from a medical supply for nights. It is extremely frustrating, but don’t blame yourself. Also, possibly look at getting a psychological (not psychiatric) evaluation done as some children have underlying issues that are not necessarily physical. Best wishes
Try to figure out when she started to decline and reoccurring UTI’s first started Then go back and try to remember what was going on or happening around that time frame. Did she have a falling out with a friend? Any issues with peers or teachers at school or lack thereof? New people,friends,family kinda of changes? Try to narrow it down if u can. Sounds more of a behavioral issue concern. Sometimes kids will wet their beds/pants because it’s the only thing they can control. Sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. Something is definitely amidst. I’m not saying this is the case, but my child was threatened and told if they told anybody something bad would happen to them or parents etc. Punishing her for this issue is counterproductive and do more harm than good. Please refrain from doing that. I understand her siblings are annoyed but you need to pull them aside and teach them some empathy towards their sibling as I’m sure they’re not making things easy for her either. Kids are cruel. I definitely would not let this go. Go into sleuth mode and see if you can recollect anything that may have triggered her regression. Best wishes
It may seem like a big thing but it’s really not, make sure there is nothing wrong with her emotionally, talk with her and reassure her your there for her, and it’s not something you should punish her for. Life us to short it will get better in the meantime don’t stress about it just keep doing a good job as her mum and it will work out x
My 2 suggestions are…A: physical therapy to strengthen the muscles in the pelvic and thigh area… B: psych therapy. She doesn’t have to get psych meds…she could benefit from someone to help with anxiety. Bonus… limit sugar, tomatoes n pasta sauces and pizza(sauce), citrus fruit, spices
My sister wet the bed until she was 10. Turned out it was a milk allergy. After cutting out dairy it was no longer an issue. May be worth a try. But really, she just might outgrow it when she’s older too. May be a good way to teach the other kids to be compassionate and not angry. Good luck, I know it’s tough but she really will likely get better.
I have the same thing going on with my daughter… she started getting UTI’s at 6 months old… well then we found out not all of them where UTI’s and some where actually Kidney Infections… we finally found a great urologist that would listen and researched!! They did a VCUG to test for reflux and found out that was some of her issue… I was at my witts ends as well with accidents day and night… if you have any questions you can DM me… sorry you are having a rough go mama!!
My son peed in the bed until he was 9 seen pediatricians, eurologists, specialists. Couldn’t find anything causing it. Doctors said he played hard during the day and slept hard at night and didn’t feel the sensation so he wouldn’t get up and go pee. He said it wasn’t uncommon in children. He STILl sleeps hard now at 18 lol but he gets up if he needs to pee. Thank goodness lol this doesn’t have anything to do with your parenting. You have done what you should by trying all the different things and taking her to the doctor. As far as the accidents while she’s awake, I’m not sure why that would be happening. I mean as far as an explanation
I feel ur pain my 5 year old does the same…if u find something that help u pls let’s us know
This can be a sign of trauma, it can be a sign of mental disorders, or it can just be that she isn’t fully ready yet or something is out of whack with her body. Punishing her will only make it worse. Whatever the issue is, I promise she’s not doing it on purpose. My kiddo wet the bed until she was almost 11. She wore pull-ups to bed. If your kiddo is having issues at 7 years old, put the pull-ups back on her and let her work this out for herself in her own time. I did not punish my child or embarrass her over this. I bought a plastic cover for her mattress, put her in pull-ups, and waited until she was ready. She finally went 4-5 nights dry and informed me she was OK to sleep in her undies going forward. It was on her timer, not mine. Knowing she has a wetting issue and punishing her rather than helping her is traumatizing all by itself. Give her the pull-ups. Stop letting yourself be overwhelmed by this. Stop giving your other children a reason to resent her. That’s trauma.
I have worked in urology office for over 10 years. It’s definitely quality of life issue. Nothing dangerous, but definitely not fun. There are lots of meds to help overactive bladder in the mean time.
Have you thought of acupuncture? It has healed many unknowns
I’ve been dealing with the same problem with my boys and it’s been just the boys I bought an alarm to attach to their clothes and they turn it off so they don’t get up I have a blanket pad they slept on . I’ve been through doctors and they say it will stop at the same age as their dad did ( it runs on my ex family) as my 2 boys reached age 10 they stopped having accidents still dealing with my 7 year old I’ve teache him wash his peed blankets and clothes. Good luck
My daughter had recurring UTI’s, and we discovered she had VUR. I would ask for more testing to be done. A VCUG will tell you if she has urinary reflux.
Have her sit on the toilet for ten or fifteen mins at a time while possibly playing with a tablet or game to keep her on the toilet for that long. She’s too busy playing and holding her pee which is causing the utis and bed wetting. Her bladder is not fully emptying when she goes.
I really think there is something biological to this. Her body will be ready when it’s ready. Get her pull ups, don’t shame her, and just wait it out.
Your not alone momma my daughter is 7 as well having same problem. Mine seems to be so busy instead of going bathroom rather play that extra time. I herd it gets better. Her are more during day. Your doing a great job momma don’t think you are not. Feel free to private message me if you need to vent. Sending hugs from Saint John New Brunswick Canada
Mg advise would be to have her evaluated by a psychologist… if there is nothing physically wrong, it could be emotional.
Honestly leave her to sit in it. it sounds like you’ve done all you can do.
Or just sit her down and have an open and honest and deep conversation with her. And nobody walks away until words have been said.
I don’t know but maybe she wants attention
My daughter will be 8 in May. She is still wetting almost every night. We’ve been to specialist and they’ve told us the same thing. The only thing I’ve found to work is no drinks past 6:30 and she has to go potty before bed. I’m still having her wear pull-ups every night because she’s ruined my mattress and it costs way to much to replace. When I started limiting her fluid intake and no drinks after 6:30 she stopped wetting every night. She’s gone 2 weeks without wetting but without fail she has accidents. I’d say try limiting fluids past a certain time and use pull-ups until it stops.
I would maybe look into the psychological aspect of this and consider counseling, it can’t hurt
I woukd take her to the dr it could be a medical issue
Is she constipated? If she is, that can make her lose full control of the bladder.
My boys were very stubborn, it finally took me just quiting cold turkey with the pull-ups all together; I put them in underwear and after…a LONG battle they caught on. Consistency and repetition. I know it’s hard but just keep praising when she does use it. It’s exhausting. Also limit her drink intake. Cut off at 7pm or a couple hours before bed.
^^^ DO NOT just “leave her sit in it!!!” that is disgusting, unsanitary, and if she has uti’s neglect of her medical issues!!! Talk with YOUR DOCTORS!!!
I would seriously have her checked out to see if there has been any sexual assault. This is actually a sign
My daughter had this issue and after multiple doctor they truly did find an issue with the bladder , it never grew with the rest of body . She’s 16 now and has the bladder the size of a 2 year old so when she has to go she had to go . After multiple timers , a potty watch , sleepless nights and then a medication they gave us to help her not wet in the night she finally outgrew it at the age of 11 !
Find a pedicure specialist or nephrologist. Ask for blood test. I worked for mri place a while back and girl this age ureters weren’t in right place
That was causing the issue. Like your daughter she was fine then wasn’t same had many utis
I’ve spoken to my health visitor and my son who is now ten had been referred to a specialist clinic and the are considering tablets for him they told me they would only treat it as a problem after the age of 8 and he is now 10 so hoping something will help
It sounds like she’s developed a phobia about peeing. It’s probably been painful so now she leaves it as long as possible. She’s possibly scared to pee at night. Make a diary of when she has an accident and make sure she goes before that time. There is usually a pattern you can follow. Ask school to remind her to go every couple of hours and encourage her in the same way at home. Be as calm as you can and try not to get cross or upset with her. Help her get cleaned up. Maybe ask her why she thinks it happens and how you can help. It is sortable. It might help to encourage drinking in the morning and not for a couple of hours before bedtime. Make sure she has a wee before going to bed.
I was a bed wetter and needed pull ups at night (dont remeber till what age). Later on i was diagnosed with Anxiety disorder and that was one of the signs. Look for patterns when she does it, did something happen, some event coming up, on school nights? If i was punished for it i could tell you right now i would have shut down and would have gotten worse. Dont shame and reward when they have accident free days. Maybe see a psychologicalist or someone professional. I was 10 when i got diagnosed.
Could be down to anxiety
I have two things to tell you.
- I know this may be hard to hear, but is it possible that she has been sexually molested? This is a huge red flag. Many children that experience sexual assault wet themselves a lot.
- if this is a medical problem ( which is very likely) the very worst possible thing you can do is punish her. A lot of children have this issue because their bladder is not fully formed and they cannot help it. Do not punish her, do not make a big deal about it at all. Buy her some pull ups and wait it out. It’s not like she doesn’t know, but she has been humiliated to the point where she doesn’t care anymore, this is not helping her. If she has an accident, deal with it without broadcasting it to the rest of the family.
In any case, I hope she gets the help she needs and you get the strength to help her overcome whatever it is that is going on with her.
My 9 and 7 year old both still wet the bed. Unfortunately there’s really nothing you can do to stop it. But you can try and help prevent them. I don’t give my kids anything to drink for about an hour to two hours before bed. If they are complaining about being thirsty I let them have a drink of water once. Right before bed we have both of them go potty and if they can’t sleep we tell them to go potty once or twice before they fall asleep. We’ve noticed that it happens more often than not when they go back to their real moms house then when they are here. Honestly we think it’s stress induced but it also could be they sleep way to heavily to realize they need to pee. We got a bed cover for under their sheets so it wouldn’t ruin their bed. Just don’t get mad and yell because it was stunt her more unfortunately
My kids wet the bed when they were warm, they still to this day do not wear PJs
I would talk to her like a person and ask her opinion on what you can do together to help her Change the behavior.
Have them do a jelly belly test on her.
I had to wake my daughter up and guide her to the bathroom to go pee before i went to bed. This helped with having accidents at night. She was and is a heavy sleeper.
No more panties, diapers only.
Sounds like yall should try a counselor of some kind.
Take her to a pediatric urologist! She may have some issues with her urine emptying back into her kidneys. That would explain it.
Please join parents against miralax. If your child is actually constipated then there’s other options besides that poison. It’s only a few molecules off from antifreeze.
First, you are absolutely NOT ALONE!! I have an 11 yr old son that only last year, decided to ‘stop’. I can assure you he was not abused in any way to cause this. He has a VERY stubborn soul. And would not change his ways until HE was ready. It was the MOST challenging, heartbreaking, horrible thing I have gone through as a parent. He is such a smart boy (and I mean SMART, not a mom-brag, he’s a smart kid). Which made it even harder to wrap my head around. If he’s so smart then why wont he stop?! We had him in football & basketball and thought he’d be self conscious about it and stop. But ‘nope’! He wore diapers 24/7 for 10 1/2 years! I took him out of them a few times, hoping he would just stop cold turkey. But the mess was too much to bear. So, back into diapers he went. I promised him a big trip to Disney or the largest lego set he could pick out if he would just stop. Nothing worked. He didn’t care that he smelled, wore diapers, or in sports had little red bumps on his bottom from sweating (along with the pee / poo). We carried diapers, wipes, and plastic bags with us everywhere we went (just like when he was a baby). Then one day, he just stopped. Period. Done. And said he was ready for big boy underwear. He was 10 1/2 years old and at the end of his 4th grade school year. I truly believe its behavioral. (PS: I took him to many many doctors, had test ran, tried stool softeners, you name it…I tried it.) I said a million prayers, felt sorry for him, felt sorry for myself, and kept trying to remember that he would not get a drivers license or go to college in diapers! You will get through this Momma…hang tight and tell her every night that tomorrow is another day and we’ll try again.
Your not a failure it happens. My son had an accident last year he’s 12.
Have you tried seeing a psychologist/therapist/specialist in behavior to see if she had something traumatic or similar that may be causing it?
It’s normal for kids to want to play for so long that they may have a small accident or just not do what they need to (just not regularly - especially as they get older).
Does the child have any underlying issues like autism, adhd, e.t.c.? Sometimes they can cause a child to not have the ‘gross’ radar.
Talk to her doctor or ur family doctor about it, it might be something medical, it can be any from the bladder, kidneys or maybe have her tested for diabetes