My 8-year-old daughter said something made her uncomfortable at her friends house: How should I handle the situation?

It’s crazy to me how many people are saying mind your business. She didn’t say they swatted the kid they whooped him until he bled! Psychos! Y’all need help.

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Yes Absolutely, REPORT it as soon as possible.

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Bleeding isn’t okay. That would concern me.
The rest is not even a big deal though lol. There’s no law you have to have birthday parties etc.

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admin please remove Tiffany Griggs

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the spoon thing might be worth looking into but as for the birthday. typically people dont have big parties at that age

I would tell my child to talk to her friend and tell her to speak to the counselor at school about what’s going on at home. That way the older child has someone to talk to who can help and the school will have something done. Kids exaggerate big time, so I wouldn’t put these people under the jail. I’m pretty sure 90% of the south uses a wooden spoon.

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It seems like you don’t really know these people. Why is your kid spending time there? I think you’re jumping to a lot of conclusions based on what an 8yo is saying. I have an 8yo daughter too… and she exaggerates… a lot…

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By what you expain it’s not disciplining as they leave marks or cause too bleed if it was some form disciplining they take reward away treats away or make child do time out not hit there child.

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Why isnt anybody suggesting to check with the parents with the child nearby?

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For all you parents saying this is okay. THIS IS WHY ITS ABUSE.

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Idk did your child actually see him being hit till he bled or was she just told that?

Um, talk to the parents?! Be like yo just so you know, my kid is hella uncomfortable here because of blah blah blah and also you’re daughter said blah blah blah and I will be calling cps. Fuck them. Usually I’d say mind your business but if the child is bleeding and all that extra shit, fuck them. They need a fkn wake up call.

Maybe you should speak to the parents first before assumein you know the situation is bad… i whoop my child butt with a leather belt sometimes whatever is at hand… i also pop his mouth for back talkin an yellin… its my right to punish him the way i see fit… you may not agree with their punishment for THEIR kids but that doesn’t mean it’s abuse… know facts before ruin someone’s life…

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You can call cps and they will never even know it was you! Better to be safe than sorry! Especially when someone else told you they have been called on before! Making a child’s butt bleed isn’t a smack on the bum!!

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There’s a fine line between discipline and abuse. If they’re hitting the child so hard and so much that they’re bleeding, that’s abuse, and anyone who supports that is absolutely disgusting. No child deserves to be treated that way, ever.

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There’s a difference between discipline and actually hurting someone. The fact this boy has been made to bleed is just horrible and wrong. Fair enough some parents do lose their shit and often with good reason, doesn’t make it okay though, as a mother you don’t do things like that surely it isn’t normal for a mother to do that. As for singling the boy out and the girl getting a party and not the boy, that’s horrible to. It sounds as though the child may be being abused and left out by the parents. Which is horrible and just wrong, I’d say something to be honest, purely because if nothing is going on then nothing will come out of it, however you might be protecting these children from something really nasty. Yes kids do exaggerate but they know right from wrong, and they also wouldn’t just lie and make it up (I know my siblings wouldn’t) they would tell it how they saw it.

Minding your business is how children end up dead. It is never okay you hit your children, especially until they bleed. Please report this, I wish someone would’ve for me.

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There’s nothing wrong with a swat on the bottom to discipline however to draw blood or leave bruises is a completely different situation. You should speak with the parents first, nothing worse than turning these peoples lives upside if there is no validity

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Hannah Schierbaum. Omg read some of these comments.

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Report it, it’ll be investigated. Cps will ask to speak to the children separately. I don’t know what the police can do besides report it themselves or go ask to see the kids to make sure they’re ok.

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If that child is exaggerating and the parents aren’t abusing the boy the worst thing that can happen if you report it is not them disliking you. The kids could be removed from a home where they are loved. Talk to the parents. Don’t go and possibly ruin their lives because an 8 year old was told by another 8 year old that this happened. Maybe it did, maybe the girl is exaggerating. Kids do that.

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Odd they’ve been reported before and nothing came of it?

You dont know if its kids just telling stories or not…but would you ever be able to forgive yourself if you didnt say anything, sat on that information then something serious happen one day? I know I couldn’t, best to be safe and have it checked. As far as im aware then reports are usually anonymous anyway. Maybe your child could get their friend to bring it up to a teacher at school too?x

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All the police. Spanking is one thing, and acceptable is specific situations. What’s not acceptable, is a bleeding bottom from it. That’s complete bullshit.

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As a retired police officer, I can tell you right now. Once we are contacted, we notify CPS and will accompany them to the residence for a welfare check. If our observations can seem there is visible evidence that something has occurred, the individual will be “detained”, NOT arrested for further questioning. And CPS will contact another family member if available and needed until the situation can be resolved.

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8 year olds do exaggerate a lot, but better safe than sorry. I don’t have a problem with a butt swat here or there but I don’t believe in using tools to inflict pain or hitting to the point of leaving marks or breaking skin. That’s beyond excessive…

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Mind your business, you have no right to try an get their child taken away an put in the system.

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Also if you are puttin 2 cents in an you DO NOT have kids, just stop… you dont know anything bout raisin them🤷‍♀️… soo yea mind yo no kid havin business…

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If it’s not okay for an adult to physically discipline another adult then why at all is it okay for a grown adult to hit a child. There are lots of ways to discipline a child without having to hit them. Period. Pathetic.

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I would report it. This isn’t right at all! You don’t hit a child especially a 4 yr old until they bleed or become disfigured because of it! Some of these comments SMFH!

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That sounds like a police matter. Amazing how many people put a laugh on this story. Sick.

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We turned my step daughters mother in for the very same thing. She is a school teacher mind you🤮! Long story short, she was charged with child abuse. Using a wooden spoon is definitely ABUSE! LEAVING marks and bruises is not ok!! Call CPS immediately!!

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So here in Arizona, if you know of possible abuse and do not report it, you are also held accountable when it all comes to light. A swat on the behind with the spoon is not abuse, however, making the behind bleed, causing splinters or leaving marks that last more than 20 minutes IS abuse.

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Definitely call the police. A child’s wellbeing could be at stake, and you will teach your daughter to stand up for those who are vulnerable and stand up for what she believes in and knows is right even if she stands alone.

I don’t agree with the wooden spoon part and making him bleed that’s taking discipline to far. But I understand the birthday part. I never really did much for my boys until they were older only because we really didn’t have kids to invite and we have no family close by. We always went to dinner and did cake and presents at home. That might be the case because they are younger but I would look into the spanking more. You can remain anonymous. Better safe than sorry.

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If the kid is bleeding and marks are left then yes that’s abuse. I’d report them. My mom did this exact same shit to me and my sisters. She would “punish” us out of anger and it wasn’t just to discipline us. If the “tool” is breaking then they are hitting too hard. It’s not ok.

I would still call on Monday!!! I would still make the call, regardless!!!

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Call child protective services in your area and police. Better safe than sorry

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Report to police and to CPS. Like you said, if it’s nothing then worst case scenario they find nothing. And I believe you can report anonymously if you want.

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Call the police. If there are marks then that lil boy is getting abused.

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Without physical evidence it’s just someone word over another unfortunatly unless your child is willing to go in front of a trial to disclaim it

Its reportable. Open hand hitting that does not leave a mark is the only form of physical discipline that Is not really reportable by law

Yup I’d report it too. You can anonymously report it. Cps isn’t allowed to say who reported them. I had cps called once long ago and they came and did a child welfare check and then closed the case shortly after. They wouldn’t tell me who had called, though I had a pretty good idea who it was. Anyways, like you said worse thing she may not like you. But also, you may have saved that child. I’m always for the children no matter. The truth will come out, if not now, later, but it always comes out.

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We are all mandated reporters, not just teachers and therapists, please call

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No parents in their right mine will hit a 4 year old …may be a little talk or may be take stuff away but with a wooden spoon…fuck that report their ass now

Always trust your gut

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When I was little my mom did it to me all the time i reported it to the police once and they told me I should listen to my mom.

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Tell anyone who will listen and anyone who can help. The child sounds like he may be being abused and/or neglected as well.
You can be anonymous and say you dont wish to give names…but tell them what you know. They will check kn the child…and if there is an open file already, then they will look even deeper.

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A welfare check is better than abuse. Call anonymously if you must but call.

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Anything other then the hand is abuse…

Report it!! You’re gut is right. Poor baby!

Call the police to do a welfare check and they can check for bruises, cuts and scars. Sometimes people only abuse one child. That’s sad for that helpless child. Imagine the fear and the longing for someone to help.

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The birthday thing sounds sad until you look at objectivly. Hes 4. He might not yet have friends and they might have no family. So, while a dinner out isnt as fun as say a day at Chuck E. Cheese for a 4 yr old, it may make more sense than having a party they have no one to invite to.
The problem truly lies in these beatings. And I’m sorry, I’m not seeing another word for it. They are hitting him with an object enough to cause bleeding. Spanking is an open hand to the bottom. I personally believe even that should only be used in extenuating circumstances and NEVER when the adult is angry or frightened and might apply more force than they intended to out of emotion.
Hitting a child with an object is never, in any circumstance, necessary. It is 2019. We have so much information at our disposal. It is the height of lazy and bad parenting if you cant find better tools to cope with your childrens bad behavior than abusing them.

There has to be a CPS or DHS in your area that has a 24/7 hotline you can call. Just google it

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If you have to hit your child with something you’re a sorry excuse for a parent. #SorryNotSorry. Better safe then sorry. Absolutely report.

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Well we know most of yall ain’t from the south now. My mother used to break wooden spoons over my ass spanking me. Unless this child is truly being beaten is it your place to step in and say how they can punish their child? And heresy from an 8 year old isn’t proof. You can call the police, I wont dispute that because the child may very well be in a dangerous situation. But you need to take a step back and calmly look at the situation before you jump to conclusions.

I’d honestly call CPS. Theres no reason their son is getting that kind of treatment

Consider yourself a mandated reporter. Make the call.

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Absolutely report it. That is abuse

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Call CPS if you don’t get help please call the police…

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Do what your conscience dictates

Call, I would rather be wrong, then not report and something worse happens

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Your daughter only heard the mother threaten to smack him with the wooden spoon? Did she see his bottom herself? or is she telling you what the sister said?

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Seriously! You’re on here when you should be at the cop shop and CPS !

I think you need to talk to the parents and possibly call CPS. Anything that bruises beyond is so many hours is abuse.

I am inclined to say myob since I also have a deffiant son but I’d never hit him with a wooden spoon that hard. Anything above spanking is abuse.

Call the child abuse hotline and report it the number is different from state to state but you can Google it

Report it. It’s abuse.

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I got the belt everywhere because I was acting up. Kids are spoiled these days its beyond ridiculous.

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If the child is hit so hard they bleed that is not disciple! I would report it. Spanking them is one thing this is another! What if you don’t report it and something really bad happens. How will you feel?

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Disgusted at the amount of people who think it’s acceptable to lay a hand on a vulnerable child. You wouldn’t ever hit an adult so why is it acceptable to hit a small child ? People who say “they got hit and turned out fine” I can assure you that you did not turn out fine because you are showing abusive behaviour by inflicting pain upon a child. I can guarantee you that you have some sort of underlying mental health condition because if of it too. Be it depression, anxiety, general trust issues, rage issues, low self-esteem. break the cycle if you are brave enough to and genuinely LOVE your children.

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Hitting a child with anything other than your hand is considered straight up abuse by CPS and other affiliated offices.

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He’s only 4! My son is 4 i would never hit him!! that is abuse, hitting him with a wooden object til his bum bleeds! That’s terrible and unnecessary they are just big babies at that age. Since your aware of this abuse, its your duty to report it to protect this vulnerable little boy.

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Mind your business. Thats not enough info to report someone.

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Report it to the nkn police ir Child welfare immediately. If the child exaggerted it will be obvious and it will be over but if not a child will be rescuded from serious abuse.

First of all you’re doing way too much already! :unamused: Speak to them. You didn’t speak to the other child directly I’m guessing. You’re going based on hearsay and could cause sooooo many unnecessary problems for these parents. CPS is crooked these days. Think about what you’re doing

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when you have facts you report but you dont have enough info to pass judgment what if it’s nothing and you put some people through that do you see the world we live in… now let me be clear for all the keyboard people you have no facts just your daughter saying what another kid said investigate before you ruin a home and a reputation

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I think you should report it and follow up especially if they have had other reports.

So she disciplined her son and smacked him with a wooden spoon? Good on her.
If you’re concerned why not go and talk to the mum before you go reporting it because even a report can stick with them, which sucks if it’s unnecessary

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This is exactly what is wrong with this generation!!! People have to worry that disciplining our children will get them taking away as if there isn’t enough children in foster care with out families or how the ones that do actually get a foster family that not only physically abuse them but sexually and mentally abuse them 1000 times worse then what was going on at home with their family!!! Now with that being said yes I agree IF they WHIP him, as in continuously, til he bleeds then something should be said BUT if your going off a birthday party and being spanked once that MIGHT have only made a red mark, being your getting this information from a 8 year old, are consider abuse them just know we are raising our children to be entitled spoiled disrespectful little brats that the government and tax payers will eventually be responsible for!!! Because If we don’t discipline our children now jail will later!!!

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Call. Worst case scenario, your daughter loses a friend.

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Hell my brother and I had the wooden spoon, plastic spatula, the belt, my great grandma would use a wooden paddle board on us grandkids. :woman_shrugging: if it doesn’t leave a mark that lasts more than 24 hours it’s not child abuse as that’s what a cop told my brother and I when we were younger when our dad threatened to give us spankings when we got home​:woman_shrugging: we have this thing called respect for others from it, unlike some of the ungrateful little shits now days​:roll_eyes:

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poor child NO child should get hit to the point they bleed poor baby def report it that kid can’t fend for himself

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Report to police?! Calm down would you :roll_eyes:
This is coming from 2 8yr olds during a sleepover.
From what you’ve said you don’t even know this family… Speak to them before you try to ruin their lives as you have no idea about them or their son to know what’s going on.
I got flogged so bad with a wooden spoon when I was 5 that I could barely walk for several days. I STOLE my pops quad bike he needed several times a day for work (farmers with bad knees), road it all around including on the road and then threw the key into a long paddock when my mum finally caught me. I ruined an entire VAT of fresh milk, I almost caused a car accident, I made my pop with his bad knees chase me for over 3hrs, Over 900 head of cattle missed being milked (that’s a LOT worse than you would think). I deserved to be flogged for that. I had no reason for it I was bored and didn’t want to come home once I was caught :tipping_hand_woman:
I still have the same spoon my mum used to wrap around my butt that I’ll slam down on the countertop for my own now 5yr old, But I’ve never had to use it on her because she’s not an asshole-kid like I was :woman_shrugging:
Myob or talk to the parents :100:

Call the police and report it if you wait worse can happen to the poor child. Speaking from experience. Please call

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I used to be spanked with the wooden spoon. Would never use it on my son.
However. Doing it to the point where the child bleeds and bruises is disgusting.

Walk into police office and tell them your concerns. Then go to safeguard or Docs (depending on where you live) that way they know you’re serious.

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I would probably be talking to the parents and child first before ringing dhs etc and potentially destroying lives. Kids have a way of exaggerating things and I’m not saying this is the case but I would be making sure it is the case. My stepson (3) didn’t want to come home from his mothers the other day because I had taken toys of him as punishment for not packing them away after asking him to however many times, anyway he then told his mum that I said he was never getting his toys back again etc etc which wasn’t actually what happened. Like I said please make sure you have the facts 100 percent correct before going through serious resources.

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Wow just wow on some of the comments. Yes a parent has the right to discipline their child/children. BUT there’s a big difference between discipline and abuse. No child should be disciplined to the point they are bleeding.

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Get. Off. Facebook. And. Call. The. Police.

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I think you’re right I think you should report it call the cops if there is nothing going on then like you said all they can do is not like you no more and if your daughter doesn’t feel comfortable going over there then another reason not to worry about if they like you or not

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Get to know them before reporting anything. At face value it sounds terrible. It is your duty to report abuse however you as the adult need to witness facts not suspicion. Use your digression . your call.

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Report it.

Yeah many wait to report. They wait until they talk to the family, until they have proof, etc. But that is not in the best interest of a kid that needs help. And if he is being hit to the point of bleeding that is abuse. And waiting to report only allows it to continue longer.

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You call police or CPS and ask for a wellness check

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Yes please call the police, they’re abusing their child…

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If they are doing that with guests, what are they doing behind closed doors? I would definitely report it. The wa state law states you can spank with a hand and leave no mark more than 24 hours.

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Do what’s in your heart about this matter.

I’d be talking to the parents first. I’m sorry but 8 years old are dramatic.

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You should have called them already :disappointed:

Call the police! Report it! Hands down. If it’s nothing better to be safe than sorry. Many children have no voice!!!

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Definitely go to the police. Tell them you have tried other avenues but can’t get through.

First and foremost is the safety of your own child second you own the problem now third do the right thing mark dont regret it later do not wait until is to late fourth fuck there feelings talk to them fith if in doubt go to the police