So Moms, I am a mother of 6 beautiful babies. My oldest just turned 8 at the beginning of the month and he’s been giving me attitude for about 3 months now. I have spanked his butt, put him in time out and took his tablet away from me and made him stop watching WWE(which he loves) but he treats me bad so he is starting to show his little sister how to treat me too!!! What do I do m
55 Likes
He would get no tv and nothing fun, he could read a book until he learns how to properly treat you!
1 Like
They see someone else treating you this way?
3 Likes
I wouldn’t be nice to someone who hit me either.
21 Likes
U should try family therapy
1 Like
Spankings are not the problem. My opinion but I believe it to be pretty accurate. 
Start grounding him maybe. That way it’s days at a time and not just hours or a day.
5 Likes
Wheres the father? Cant he talk to him?
2 Likes
It’s called lickens!
1 Like
Hitting him will absolutely not make him nicer to you.
8 Likes
Get on his level. Talk to him. Ask him why he’s angry. Maybe he feels left out right now. Try making time with just him. It’ll work out.
7 Likes
Make him go do work for free around the neighborhood and family. Put him to work at home. Make him want to behave or he’ll be busy keeping himself busy so he behaves
1 Like
Every kid responds differently to correction. Involve a professional that can guide you on possible obstacles, behavior issues, etc.
1 Like
Sometimes kids act the worse when they need the most love, maybe he is needing a little extra attention from you since he’s the oldest. I am by no means saying he should be treating you bad bc that’s unacceptable and should be corrected but maybe try talking to him about how he’s feeling and ask why he thinks it’s acceptable to treat you badly and spend a little extra one on one time with him and see if that helps. Parenting is really hard so don’t beat yourself up about it, you just have to find out what the underlined issue is an address it. Good luck😊
11 Likes
Give him some individual attention. U have 5 other kids who’s younger and he probably feels jealous and left out.
7 Likes
First o would correct his behavior quickly with things such as we dnt don’t talk like that to mommy, your being ugly and then put him in time out or send to bed. My 7 yr old gets into these moods and he is very angry towards me. I tell him I will not accept that behavior in my house , go to your room until you can be nice AND BE CONSISTENT WITH IT EVERYTIME. He will learn quickly. But i I have also spanked his butt for just being awful towards me and his sister, then got sent to his Room until i I said otherwise. He is now banned from video games, you tube, and can only watch tv with someone else in the room. Good luck mom
2 Likes
Maybe he needs more one on one time, considering he shares you with 5 other kids. Maybe try to determine the root of the problem and why he’s starting giving attitude, instead of hitting him.
5 Likes
Maybe try talking to him to see where this anger for you is coming from and also pointing out when hes good and treating him for good deeds but also stick to your punishments when he isnt be consistent which can be hard with so many little ones
1 Like
Why did you hit him??? My mother use to scream and hit me. I hated it and I vowed I would never do that to my kids. Talk to him take him out just you and him. I use to do that with each of my sons just mum and son time. But don’t hit him that will mess him up when he gets older talk to him.
11 Likes
i will prYer for you alk
Maybe something else is bothering him? 8 is still young
1 Like
Acting out for attention?
1 Like
Some of you ladies clearly never had a butt whooping and it shows 
seriously tho I got my ass whipped one good time at 11 years old and I promise you I was the best kid ever , I also got smacked in the mouth and quit talking back too !
Have u tried a child psychologist? Sometimes a kid doesnt want to talk to their mom and they could give u an outside perspective
2 Likes
Maybe there’s more too it. Like he’s having some other problem like being bullied or something. The school usually has a counselor or someone he could talk to. It wouldn’t hurt to start there if he won’t open up to you. Talk to the school and see if there’s someone there like that. If this is new and hasn’t been going on for a long time it sounds to me like something has happened or changed 3 months ago.
2 Likes
Ground him. Nothing but his bed, clothes and table. Make him write off for an hour a day “I will not disrespect my mom.” Until his grounding is over. My mom had to do it to me. I’m 27 and have never been in any trouble. I thank that woman daily.
3 Likes
Has things been going ok in school? Can you ask his teachers about his behaviors to see if he acts that way in school as well. Maybe he made a new friend in school who treats their parents that way and he thinks it’s “cool” so he’s doing it to you.
1 Like
Yall saying “dont hit your child”… mannnn… my daddy beat my ass quite a few occasions. And you know what? I have a clean record and have never been in trouble. Sometimes ya need an ass whoopin. 
If he is the oldest of 6 kids maybe a date night with just the 2 of you or him and dad. Go to the theatre or something. You could surprise him when he gets up in the morning and tell him it is his day with one of you and do whatever he wants for a few hours. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to have 6 kids that young. You need a break too.
6 Likes
Listen you do what you do as a mom. If u feel the need to spank. And ur state allows it. Do it. But i suggest therapist. Spankings only go so far. Good luck mama
3 Likes
My son can do this and I try to solve it by grounding him but sometimes gets worse, when i feel like i had it i spank him with the belt and after he is done crying he changes his attitude right away, it hurts me to spank him but sometimes it works, also after I spank him and he is calm and I tall to him about why I did what I did, i do not apologize but i make him see that if it wasn’t for his bad attitude and taking back i wouldnt have done it, and he seems to understand and along time goes by before i have to get to that point again, also I do it because even though his dad is in the picture he doesn’t not really have to raise him so I can’t let him go on treating that way he is only 9 and he needs to understand he is the child and I am the mom. Dont feel bad if u have to spank him because he can only get worse and you cant let that happen.
2 Likes
I tell my girls when they are mean to me that I can be meaner and keep it.legal.so ine day they were terrible.trashed their room started hitting each other then they both started throwing things at me.and came after me swinging a curtain rod.I went to my room and shut the door.I waited for them to calm down then asked them if they wanted to go to mcds and of course. They sis.we went to mcds and i ordered a sandwich and drink then parked my car.they were livid as i didnt get them anything.i ate it and kept saying oh this is so good.they were crying and kicking the seats and telling me how mean i was.i told them like i said i can be meaner.its a lesson and i hope you learn from it.they did and havent been mean to me since.sometimes you gotta do whatever it takes to teach them.
6 Likes
Omg i can’t get over some people on here. “If you hit me I wouldn’t be nice either” “is someone treating you this way and they see it?”
Like omg kids are brats sometimes she is asking for advice. Stop being judgey judies and give advice or move on.
10 Likes
I’m in a similar situation with my 4 year old but he doesnt treat me bad but he tears his teachers bad. So bad I have to meet with them on monday. I’ve tried the same things you have. I even took everythung away and allowed him to earn them back when he is consistently behaving well. Idk what to do at this point
1 Like
I honestly would take everything from him and I mean absolutely everything. Scare him. I understand he is 8 yrs old but you need to teach now before it too late. I would put his bed on the floor and tell him of hes good then you’ll put it back on the frames. Take his clothes out his room and only set his pjs and the outfit for the day.
I got this idea from watching a show called Nanny or something like that. It came TLC
3 Likes
Negative attention is better then no attention. I am not saying he don’t get any attention. I am saying that he needs some positive feedback and attention.
4 Likes
The belt always worked. We learned real quick.
4 Likes
He is pissed at you for all them babies.
7 Likes
Sometimes my 4 year old treats me awful, screaming, hurting, demanding, just outright awful. Later he will tell me it’s just because he wanted to spend time with me or that he was sad or that he really wants a friend or just didn’t know how to control what he was feeling.
We go through this a lot. It makes me sad sometimes.
Maybe your son wants more attention… 6 kids takes a lot. Sometimes we would have 5 of ours (mixed family) at the same time and no one got all the attention they wanted and eventually one of them if not more would start acting out. Especially when there’s a baby in the house getting tons of it.
1 Like
Try to make a coffee date with him from time to time and get him hot Coco. My boys love it. I have 5 kids (4 boys) from ages 3-11. Only have 1 girl. We leave while dads home early in the morning when everyone else is sleeping. With Dad knowing of course. May go shopping after for groceries or whatever but I engage them in it. Let them pick the apples and such. Some kids need more one on one.
4 Likes
Try the opposite. Add more one on one time. Give him coping tools to deal with big emotions. Get rid of the power and control and try positive time in. Lots of heavy sensory work and double outdoor time.
Kids communicate with behavior. Sometimes they ask for love, in the most unloving of ways.
9 Likes
Does he have a positive male influence in his life?
1 Like
Teach him respect
Do it now or may God help you when he becomes a teenager. Too many stories out there like this. Read up on Tough Love .
1 Like
Did you just NOW start disciplining him?? Just curious. Usually kids who “start” acting out have already been acting out but it was overlooked because it “wasn’t that bad” or because “he/she is just a kid.” Kids will push to see how far they can go and what you’ll let them get away with. Stick with the disciplining mom, However YOU SEE FIT!!!
YOU are the mother and make the rules!! He can either do what he’s told or suffer the consequences! Bravo to you and I hope you stick with disciplining him before it’s too late…
3 Likes
I know it sounds harsh but when my 7 year old starts that mess I give her the cold shoulder. I dont talk to her unless it’s one word answers dont do extra hugs and kisses and I’m short with her. Usually within an hour or two she comes around. And I’ll tell her, “you wanna be mean to me? You wanna disrespect me? Then I’m gonna treat you the same. Tit for Tat.”
8 Likes
6 kids under 8… thats alot of attention you have to give out… and it must be hard i only have 2 under 8 and i find it hard sometime to give them both some personal time with me… maybe he is looking for some time alone with his mammy and because he’s not gettin it hes a bit jealous… id try to spend more time with him if you can… but it’ll be hard with 6… all the best
6 Likes
Gentle Parents Unite has amazing advice, they won’t let you down. Join and ask. They are so welcoming and helpful
Can you do one on one time?
2 Likes
Where is their dad? If you are not with his dad is he causing the problem?If you are together why can’t he put a stop to it.Also you should have him checked out.
Stop spanking your kid…it’s 2019.
Also 8 is a tough age. Some attitude is normal
16 Likes
I have five babies but they range from 14-3 now six under 9 like damn I’d be angry too. Six babies and the oldest is EIGHT. She had no time with you before you made tons more. She wants attention.
Take the tablet away for good…no bargains…take it for a couple months at least…start taking more away if necessary…no tv…no toys…you need to let him know you r boss…period…he may cry and say he hated you but fight through it…hes going to try and manipulate you and make u feel guilty in order to get his way…make a strong stand now!!! Or it sill be worse later…you have to get harsh…at the same time try to make some time for him…just the 2 of you…he may be feeling unimportant due to several siblings but do not let that excuse his behavior
3 Likes
He has to share your attention with 5 other kids that are younger than him(not his choice), the younger ones probably get more attention than he does… he’s probably feeling left out, maybe?
8 Likes
Could he possibly be feeling left out? Maybe is acting this way to get your attention because he may feel like he isn’t getting enough. Maybe try some more one on one like others have stated maybe have a talk with him and explain to him that he is just as important as the other kiddos and that you love him just as much. Maybe when you spank him and stuff he keeps doing it because it’s grabbing your attention. Good luck momma it will get better! 
2 Likes
When I was bad as a kid I had to pick my own switch. A spank on the butt is nothing. Everyone so sincitive these days omg
7 Likes
Dad needs to be stepping in with a “son, do not disrespect your mother” and he should be the one punishing him. Parenting is teamwork. You’d do the same for him.
4 Likes
Just a thought but some children start puberty at that age so just take notice and be patient with him and he may need some male bonding time too
1 Like
What’s your husband like? Or your ex? Whatever.
This doesn’t usually start at 8. Put your foot down. Call him out everytime he’s disrespectful.
“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m your mother, not your friend, get your ass to your room, now.” If he doesn’t, pick his little ass up and bring him there.
You are the parent.
A: don’t hit
B: he has five younger siblings, I’m sure it has to do with jealousy/not getting any alone time with you/you being too busy/resentment of you get siblings getting more love from you
C: don’t hit or spank or you give your 8 year old even more reason to feel “less than” when it comes to your love… as that age is a me-centric phase… everything is in relation to them.
For example… I gave birth to a son who died shortly after being born… my two little wouldn’t understand but my 8 year old knew and was expecting a baby to come home with me… good thing I researched how to break the news and reminded myself of that age n stage of life… bc when I got there… he was all like, “but I really wanted s baby brother or sister (crying) but now I don’t get a new baby brother or sister?”
It’s not that they don’t care about your feelings - I couldn’ve gotten very mad at him and said, “hey I just had my baby die in my arms and you’re crying about you?” (I wouldn’t ever say that) but I hope you get my point in using this example.
Make a date with your 8 year old. Schedule time in for just you two. Every day or at least every week. Call em “baby” here n there (as in “you’re my first baby, you know that right? And I love you” etc) let me sit on your lap and rock em once in a while like you’re seen doing with your youngest I’m sure.
Lastly, don’t hit. Creates even more of a divide. You’re literally pushing your child even farther away but asking on fb how to get closer??? Your eldest may not have many cuddle years left … enjoy them … embrace your first baby lovingly… and don’t hit!
21 Likes
Figure out what’s wrong with your child. What has caused him to be so angry?
1 Like
Find his currency - what matters most - then when he misbehaves, calmly take it away & tell him he can earn it back after a period of time with acceptable behavior & an apology. No yelling, etc necessary. And no ignoring the behavior. He’ll be a big kid soon & a Teenager before you know it!
3 Likes
Sounds like my son. I have a 11 yr old and 5 yr old. My son acts like that when he needs a little extra love and attention. Hes so independent and my 5 year old requires a lot of help/attention so he gets a little jealous, and will act out. Could be a reason?
3 Likes
Does he get equal attention? Does he have to tend to the other siblings? Does he have a room or area to call his own? Are you just using authorization methods or have you tried doing one on one! Six kids equals some feeling left out or not as loved!
2 Likes
You’ve written nothing positive that you’ve done for him. And you’ve also written things that turned out to not be productive.
Instead of asking an audience that is 50/50 violence on a child is acceptable, why don’t you talk to him? This behavior didn’t come from him, he’s 8. He’s witnessed it, he’s mimicking or he’s going through something.
Put the work in on this child.
7 Likes
I’m just assuming that he doesn’t know how to behave properly. A lot of people don’t realize that you do have to teach your children EVERYTHING! I made this mistake with cleaning up after my daughter and assuming that she was learning by watching me. Everything needs to be broken down and explained patiently and lovingly. Also, lead by example and explain that that behavior makes you sad and hurts your feelings.
4 Likes
I’m in the same boat with my 9 year old it’s gotten out of control I have tried everything nothing worked
2 Likes
My son is 7 and has 2 sisters ages 2 and 3 and he tends to act out when he needs a little more attention. It may seem to you that you are giving them all equal time but sometimes one or another needs just a little extra…
3 Likes
Momentary discipline has its limits. There are children his age, and I was one of them, who knew that once I got a spanking, or got out of time out, or got my Gameboy back, things would go back to normal, so I’d just wait it out. You gotta get him thinking long term consequences. Tell and show him that how he acts hurts you, and show him what life’s like when you treat people poorly. Mommy doesn’t need to let you go outside and play because Mommy doesn’t trust you to behave with others. Mommy doesn’t need to give you a snack before bed because you didn’t earn it today. Don’t set a time limit on it. Let him know that things will get better when he gets better.
Never forget to reward or show appreciation for when he behaves, though. Too much negativity will make him become negative and stay negative. He will be living in darkness and you need to show him the light, but he needs to make the decision to walk towards it.
7 Likes
Maybe he is feeling left out. Try and make some time with just him and see if that helps. He may just feel that since he is older that he is seen as more ‘independent’ and that he doesn’t need to rely on you as much as he wants to.
4 Likes
Planks or squats… my 9 year old started that because of some kids in school he was associating with. But now he does dishes, takes out trash, sweep, vacuums and more. Good ol planks and squats
4 Likes
GUILT!!! best form of punishment!
5 Likes
try to give him some one on one if you can, sit and watch WWE for a half hour, show some interest in what he likes. probably just wants that time with you
4 Likes
Might need some one-on-one attention
1 Like
He misses you… and acting out for attention. He might feel there is no room
For him with so many brothers And sisters. Spend time with ONLY him…Have your husband watch the others… give him ATLEAST and hour of YOUR unconditional time… color, talk, read a book, once a week. Tell him something like. “Hey sweetheart… I was wondering if we can spend time together, just me and you. Maybe we can Color or go have McDonald’s together. I’ve been so busy, that i miss you terribly and want to spend time with only you, can we do that?” Trust me when I say be will LOVE IT!” Also… invest in HIM… have DATE NIGHT with you Kids Individually. It’s good for their self worth and they NEED you. Also, get him into a sport.
1 Like
I found when my kids started acting out that it was because they felt left out and I only have 3. I bet that has a lot to do with what’s going on. You’re juggling a lot of kids and he doesn’t feel like hes getting enough attention. Remember negative attention is still attention. I’d take him out on a mommy son date once a month. Make sure he knows you still love him. Give him something to look forward to.
4 Likes
He maybe feeling the stress of not being with you or not getting enough attention from you. If you punish him at least your talking to him at that point he has your undivided attention which is what he’s needing. My advice is make a little personal time for him and reassure him that you love him just as much. Perhaps delegate him small responsibilities so he will fit in with rest of family. Good luck
2 Likes
Praise good behavior.
A child acting out has an unmet need.
3 Likes
My 9year old tried this. I whooped his butt a few times (last resort). Refuse to buy him anything, made him do his chores, made him understand that I won’t tolerate his attitude. That I am his mother and he is to respect me/ treat me as he would be treated. He has wised up.
4 Likes
Re connect. Hormones are starting to kick in and he’s lashing out at you because you’re his safe place.
One on one time and try getting under his covers for a bedtime snuggle and chat. He may just open up to you.
Give him more attention, take him it just him and you
1 Like
Have you talked to him in private telling him how his actions make you feel so sad? I have 3 boys and 2 girls and they all react differently!
1 Like
Mom of 7 here…ages 20, 19, 16, 13, 11, 9 and 8. If he’s acting out at 8 just wait until he’s 18 lol! But seriously…each time I had a new baby I would always make sure to include all the children in caring for the baby. They were all little mama hens. It sounds like he is definitely feeling a little left out and acting up to get some type of attention from you. I know you’ve got to be exhausted with so many babies back to back, but try and find some solo time for just him, even if it’s just walking to check the mail. Give him his own job to do (something to make him feel important). Ignore the bad behavior and praise the good.
2 Likes
It might help him and you to go to a counselor. That way he can get out what is bothering him in a neutral spot. Plus they might have tips for you
2 Likes
My oldest is 10 and around that same age we noticed him starting to act out in similar ways to what you are describing. It took a lot of coaxing but we found out he had started being bullied at school. Now we know when he has had a bad day because he comes home with an attitude and picks on his siblings (I have 4 children) and will straight ignore me. When he didn’t have too bad of a day, minimal if any bullying, he is the sweet helpful caring kid I know he is. We thought it was him begging for attention from mom and dad at first too, but when we were giving it to him, it didn’t help any. So we sat him down and had a serious talk and got him to open up and that’s when he told us about being bullied.
2 Likes
Your a mom of 6 kids instead of beating him n punishing him maybe make time for him just u n him go out and do something fun maybe he looking for your attention maybe he needs more of your time and the only way to get that is to act out! I’m all for beating ass but sometimes kids act out just for attention!
Sell him for grocery money! 
5 Likes
I would get him into therapy where he can vent and maybe you can get to the bottom of his behaviors.
His ass would be doing physical labor. My four year old acts up he gets to do wallsits and planks. He gets Minecraft taken away no movies or tv no toys and no outsider time. He gets to sit at the table and color or play with playdough then lunch and nap or dinner and bed.
How does his dad act with you?
1 Like
Following. Im in the same exact situation with my 9 year old
Write down on paper what the child did wrong make them copy it 20. 30. Times then when done aske them what they shoulda did instead then make then stand in corner for 7. 10. Min keep doing this evertime it worked for me after 4 th time my kid is doing great now
1 Like
Has something traumatic happened within the last three months … something is wrong get to the bottom of it !
You are the parent and u should argul with an 8 yr. Old u just tell them its not up for dis ussion and if they dont like it to bad, maybe becareful what thier watching on tv have u tryed sitting them in a chair where thier no toys, no computer stuff, for thirty minutes, or tell him to go to his room and when hes ready to talk to u like a young man let you know, that usually works, if these dont work maybe i would talk to my doctor, and maybe counlor, they really help. The kids have alot to deal with, he must be really mad bout something. Hope this helps. Im a grandmother.
If you need to, take everything away but his pillow, mattress, blanket. Nothing else in his room. No TV time, no tablet etc. Then come up with a chore list. For everything he does, without attitude or being told more than once, he earns something back. I agree that there may be something going on at school you aren’t aware of. So, maybe take him for alone time, and talk to him. Make sure dad gets alone time with him too. Giving him a special job that he’s responsible for might help as well, though my kids were already starting to do chores anyway at that age. All else fails, counseling might be in order, because maybe he is harboring resentment over something. Having a lot of kids close in age is difficult, I have 5 myself. 21 1/2, 20, 17 1/2, 15 1/2 and 12 1/2. I totally get where you are! Good luck.
8 is the worst boys age in my opinion. It does pass tho hang in there just respond with love and annoying positivity as hard as it is, I found that understanding his frustrations and talking him through it and making him feel aware that I was aware of his feelings constantly worked wonders. He’s 11 now and wonderful I’m half way through the same stage with my other son getting there
1 Like
6 kids and NO male figure…You are the problem get a grip sister.
3 Likes
Just ignore him and don’t let it affect you. Only talk to him with kindness and love soon enough he will be apologising.
Have you tried just talking to him? Kids usually act out when they’re having issues elsewhere, like at school. Maybe there’s something that’s bothering him.
1 Like
Sounds like he is needing reassurance and some one on one time … fighting back and taking his stuff will not help that will push him further away… seems he is acting out for attention… i feel your post is all about what he is doing wrong and is very negative, maybe congratulate him for good behaviour encourage him to be better dont always look for negatively …
Example you say he teaching his siblings to do bad things …maybe say to him (insert childs name) do you think its good to teach your sibling to this what if he does that outside and gets in trouble and you or i aren’t there to help him … it could wnd bad for your sibling ? And then show him how to be better…
Just an idea … also could be borad do up a rota for chores and get the kids involved an reward them.
1 Like
Don’t spank he’ll get rebellious
2 Likes