Say ok and go without him.
Put pride to the side for the kid. They’re the reason. If it benefits baby for both to be there then let the gf come. Speaks more of your maturity than hers. If it’s going to be nothing but headaches set up which holidays he’ll be with you and which ones he’ll go with dad. Switch each year. You get him Halloween this year then dad gets next year etc.
Just let her come You guys aren’t together anymore so obviously hes gonna be dating new people and eventually she’s gonna have to meet your child What better time than when you’re right there And you can’t blame her for being uncomfortable with him going to hang out with you alone I would be the same way. Just go ahead and meet her as long as she’s respectful and a nice person Then you don’t have anything to worry about. It kind of sounds like you still have feelings for him and are bitter about him dating new people And not having 1 on 1 time with you Which is normal if you still have feelings for somebody.
Don’t see why he has to go trick or treating with you? Can he not take your child alone himself and you take your child alone yourself? Why do you have to go together if yous aren’t together? I wouldn’t 3xpect Mt kids dad to come with us of we wasn’t together hahaha
Maybe your attitude is the reason he cant keep a girlfriend.
You two broke up. Who he chooses to date is none of your business or concern unless she is being abusive to your child. You do not get to control him.
Let her join and show your child you can be the bigger person.
Then I guess he isn’t trick or treating 
All i can say is he wouldn’t be going! I’m going thru a split and i couldn’t be around the kid for the first 1 year. But if a guy doesn’t understand your point he doesn’t care about his child’s feelings. He might be trying to make you mad on purpose!
Now we are splitting and i have a bond with his child and it sucks!
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Sounds like there is a whole lot of growing up to do. I guess I can’t blame you considering her attitude, she sounds immature and I wouldn’t want that around my child either. It’s ridiculous that some women(men too) are like that (the you can’t be around your ex you have a child with unless I’m there) seriously, grow up! It also sounds like she doesn’t care for you, so why would you want that to spoil your evening? If he isn’t going to man up and tell her, then just forget about it, I know it’s hard, but it’s his loss dear.
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I would perfer to let her go. Then atleast you can see how she interacts with child and get to know her. Or let dad and GF take child half the night so you don’t have to be around her.
Maybe he can’t keep a girlfriend because you won’t allow it?
I get where you are coming from, but legally he doesn’t have to do what you want. Hopefully she does stick around.
He will sneak around and have his gf there when the kid goes to see him anyway, there is no stopping this so your going to have to deal with it
I’ve dealt with this a lot in the 2 years I’ve been separated/divorced… my ex has definitely got around, and no matter how clear I make it I don’t want my kids around every female he sleeps with…… I ultimately have ZERO say so when it’s his visitation time. I have however learned to try and like the woman he actually dates. His current one isn’t so bad and we actually get along, her kids are coming to spend the night at my house because they want to 
just a reminder that as much as you want to guard your child if he gets visitation of said child without you around, the girl is probably around. Try and make the best of the situation and let the gf come along and be civil
So keep her home. You live with her . Do not give him custody rights. No she is not available. Get in charge now. State conditions.and speak it dont argue with him!!
I hope you soon see how no matter what you do or say, there’s nothing you can do about who he is with. He wants to trick or treat with his child and unless there’s a court order… you can’t keep your child from the other parents flavor of the week. Im so sorry but it’s a reality!
Be different… meet the new gf and who knows maybe you’ll find a new friend. 
What’s the saying keep your friends close, keep ex bf new gfs closer 
He shouldn’t be period. He should do his own thing and you do yours. It’s weird you’re still holding onto him like that.
So what’s the big deal? It’s about the child not you. Be an adult
Why are you being petty.
Now is the perfect time for you to get to know her, and you get to see in person how she acts toward your child and how she acts towards you.
Yeah mine moved someone in 2 weeks after a first date when we had a 2year old. 4 months seems like a lifetime. I wouldn’t like the 4 month period either but a judge will tell you theres not much you can do unless they have a sexual misconduct background. It sucks. Sorry!
Then he misses out sucks for him. He’s choosing his girlfriend over core memories for his children in my opinion. He is wrong and you are not.
Let him bring her. It’s suppose to be about the child. Or let them take her n return her in 2 hours. It sld be about what the kid wants truely. Put ur pride aside
Just take the child yourself. If he’s choosing that over time with your kid then his priorities aren’t in line
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It’s ur kid ur allowed to say who can or cannot be around ur kid. That is a parents responsibility to keep their kid safe. Go trick or treating without him if he can’t choose his kid over a female then he’s not worth having around her kid
Guess he ain’t comin then lol
Stop letting your feelings get in the way of a good childhood memory for your kid. Grow up. Life moves on. I’m best friends with my step sons mom. She even comes to hang out almost every day. It’s not about YOU it’s about the child all your feelings , wants , emotions , go right out the window
If the situation was reversed. How would you feel him telling you what you could and could not do? I would bet you would do what you wanted whether he liked it or not. When it comes to kids, it’s about who is there. Why wouldn’t you want another person loving on your child?
Why not meet in the middle and just have turns taking her? U can take her an hour and he can take her an hour by himself, you guys don’t have to go together.
you want him to choose you over her
I would honestly go to a public setting say for coffee to meet your ex and his current girlfriend. I say this, because I know you do not want her there and it seems she is not willing for him to go unless she goes which is super childish. Hopefully she is not younger than she should be. Both of you get to know one another and then decide on whether you and him want her to meet your child. Then introduce her to your child BEFORE the event. To see if your child wants her there. This should be up to the child. It’s their family tradition. Unless your child is under 5 then do as you wish. I don’t recommend just doing it all on the event. The month just started, things can change. Might as well, meet her and see what vibe she gives you. Good luck!
What are you going to do ? Lol
Whose visitation time is this on? Yours or his?
The way you speak of him sounds like you are a little jealous. So what if she comes along, do you not allow friends of yourself or his to be around the kids? Essentially that is what dating is, friends.
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Stop having babies with people you’re not married to. The term “baby daddy/momma” is so offensive.
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Suck it up buttercup. Put your feeling aside . I’m sure there’s plenty of drama back story between you and him. But this is for your child. And if he’s been With her for 4 months . That doesn’t sounds like " flavor of the week"
I mean doesn’t the child go to there dads ? His time is his time. I’m assuming he wouldn’t alow anyone dangerous around them. Who truly know what this women will become to him. Might last another week or become his wife one day . 
judge her all you want talk made crap to your friends. But don’t let your feelings impact your child’s happiness. I’d assume you’d want to kinda get to know her. Atleast get a vibe on her.
I think As long as the girlfriend isn’t disrespectful. If he’s switching up girlfriends often, your kids will notice that eventually. We can’t control every situation or protect our kids from everything And it’s better to help them cope with the reality.
It was hard for me to see my ex with his gfs at first, because it was hard to see how he did things for them he never did for me. It triggered me a lot. I decided not to be alone if I will be around them, I brought a friend or family member so they can serve as a support system for me in that situation.
I’d use this as an opportunity to get to know said girlfriend. so your kid doesn’t suffer because you and dad are in a battle of who has more control/say
There is nothing wrong with him bringing his gf. Get over yourself.
Ask your child what she wants you, the Dad, and the GF to dress up as when you ALL go trick or treating. Make that baby happy. It’s not about YOU.
He shouldn’t be going with you, trade off halfway through the evening, what he does and with who on his time isn’t really any of your business wether it’s morally right or not. That’s what the courts and therapists told me lol you have to let go of control, obviously not if they are in harm or being mistreated though
Your behaving like a child sweetheart! The only person your punishing is your daughter!!!
I think your not over your baby daddy and you are jealous
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Dress as a circus & get y’alls candy! 
My husband took my gay partner (coworker) and his husband tot’ing with my kids one year because I was working that night. I’ve had a lot of friends around my kids. Some they see a lot of and some they only see once or twice. Honestly, to the kids it doesn’t matter who my friends are and they have no idea what kind of relationship we have. It would be ridiculous if I couldn’t invite any of my friends to hang out with me and my kids. The kids don’t have to get involved in all the adult drama. When I was dating they had no idea the person was a date because I kept that part separate from my kids. They only know I have lots of friends and coworkers. Some come over and hang out often, some only once or twice. If one of them happened to be a guy (or girl) I was seeing they wouldn’t even know the difference. Married now and nothings changed except I am not dating any of the people that I hang out with lol
This is a great opportunity to see how he is around a girlfriend and the kids. Make sure that there are plenty of pics without her in it though jic lol
Go without him. I’d stop asking honestly. Priority was clear hun.
Honestly, that isn’t your choice. It isn’t up to you if he has someone around HIS child or when he introduces a GF to HIS child. You are not the ONLY parent. Will you let him dictate when you can introduce or bring someone you’re involved with around your child? Most likely not. It isn’t about you. It isn’t about him. It is about your child you have together. Pick your battles. And this is one you should let go. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this a lot. And it’s a control thing. You wanna have control over the situation. And over what he does. You don’t get to do that anymore. You guys broke up. Now, you need to put your child’s feelings above your own. And about your child having a relationship with both of you. And growing up watching you guys Co parent and get along, for them. Regardless of whoever else may be in the picture, and of any lack of relationship between the two of you. Unless there is an actual court order, stating whatever. There is literally nothing you can do. And unless you want him to jump in and dictate your relationship, when you have one or meet someone. You should back off his. Let him be a father. Show your child their feelings, are far more important to you, then whatever you feel for our towards their father. Or your own even.
Grow up. Work on healing yourself and stop keeping him from his child. Flavor of the week?? If they have been together 4 months that’s definitely not a flavor of the week. My husbands ex tried this crap of me not allowed being around, guess what, the judge did not agree, chewed the mama a new ass and within months we had full custody.
Both sides are childish. His life is his life your just hurting the child.
Depending on the age of the child have an age appropriate conversation with the child and see what he/she wants. Do this without talking bad about anyone but give facts. We don’t know the whole situation so there is no way for us to Give you an informed opinion. Everything we do, we do it for our kids so of possible let them decide.
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Yall are bith being petty but its just trick or treating. I dont see why you cant let her come.
I would let dad and gf come and introduce her as a friend of daddy. doesn’t have to be gf they can walk together.
But a assume daddy gets his child so the child has probably been around said gf. Not everyone is a horrible person sounds like ur bitter and want him to yourself. This gives u a chance to get to know her and u never know it cud turn out a good thing. It took baby momma and i time but turns out her and I have alot in common and I love that crazy bitch 
Samantha Levine
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Do you date people? Have they been around the kids? If you are all there together I don’t see a problem with it. If he wants to see the kids let him. You guys are not together and there is going to be other people on both sides. At least this way you are there and can see how she is around the kids.
I dated a guy that had a kid. He and his ex wife were bitter towards one another but that wasn’t healthy for their kid. So I invited her and her family to go trick or treating with us and I invited them to do Christmas with us and when they were struggling financially I also helped make sure her other child woke up to Santa. Being bitter hurts nobody but the kid. I’m not with the guy anymore but because I tried really hard to involve his ex wife and family for the best interest of their child, I can still see that child anytime I want.
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I see what you are saying. Some of these parents who bring a new s.o. around every other month are showing these kids that this is how relationships go. Just as a child becomes attached they are gone.
You can have whatever rule with your parenting time. But even a court will tell you that when he is with them in his own parenting time you can’t tell him who can’t and can be around the kid. Especially if she is no danger to your child . Like if she was in the csc list or been to jail for child abuse that would be different. It’s unfortunate but that is how it goes
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This sounds incredibly petty. You guys are exes for a reason and y’all are going to move on to new people. They’ve been together for 4 months that’s definitely not an overnight I just met you type of thing. How about you put your kid first and focus on making sure they have a good Halloween rather than making it about yourself
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Also you two broke up. Things are gonna happen without you both being there. Especially when you’re both this immature.
You’re both preventing the child from having both parents there over silly reasons.
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How old is your child? And you don’t have a say so if he has visitation on who he is with and if they are around your child… just like he doesn’t have a choice if you have someone in your life. Not that it’s how you are! And I totally understand the worry… but it’s how it goes when we are living separate lives from our kids other parent…
I’d understand having an issue if your child was gunna be alone with the new girl, but honestly this one is on you, you’re going to be there so I’m not sure what the worry is? Your ex bringing new women around constantly will only change your child’s perception of him not you, now if you have some reason to believe he isn’t safe or that he brings unsafe people around your child, that’s something you need to bring up to a judge
Honestly , get it over it . From someone who’s been there done that , my kids are teens now with 0 fatherly figure . And it was all becasue of the drama in the beginning
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Stop putting your daughter in the middle of adult fights. Maybe you take her a couple hours then they take her a couple hours. You chose him as her father. Everything doesn’t have to be done as a big family unit. And the kid will feel the tension.
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U are also picking the flavor over the child tho. He can introduce her as his friend. Can u guarantee nobody gonna fall out of ur life and disappoint him…(friends, family) Life is hard…I pick my battles…n gf’s ain’t one of them
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It really stinks when we break up. We no longer get to control or have say in what the other person does. At one point we were all in a 4 mth long relationship. As women we really don’t want to see our ex with someone or share family time with the new flavor. But if you have truly “moved on” what’s the issue? The kids will know as they grow up if dad always has a new girl. But blocking him out will only fuel resentment if they do work out. Don’t be petty or controlling. And remember non of us like our man hanging around his ex and kids alone. Go watch Stepmom!
Most exes don’t do holidays together. The tension isnt fair to the child. And honestly, you’re extremely immature to think you can continue to pin your way in between him and someone else. Why don’t his relationships work? Because they have to deal with you? You want your child to have a happy other home too right? But they can’t last if you ruin things. It’s time to grow up and leave him alone and stop trying so desperately to ruin your ex. It’s jealousy and desperation and that’s far worse than him meeting a 4 month girlfriend. Believe me. Also, remember this crap when you meet someone. I hope he cares about the child more and isn’t as petty
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Honestly I personally think both you and the father are wrong in this situation. What is being overlooked a little is the fact that it’s not about you or him or the new gf. Its about your children. It’s about trick or treating and being a little kid and dressing up etc. I understand your point about not wanting an attachment formed too soon that could potentially hurt your child if/ when things go south, but I think considering it’s Halloween and just a few hours at which time your child will hardly be focused on her you should allow her to come. Four months is kind of soon for everyday interactions but I think its an appropriate amount of time to start slowly allowing this person to be present. Its not like they will be bonded for life after judt a few hours. Your kid having that special time with their dad should be the priority because it is more important than sheltering her from his girlfriend. I also think that when you wouldn’t make the choice that allowed your child to have their father present for the holiday he should have been the bigger person and chose to go with his child. While you say the reason you are doing this is because its in the best interest of your child unfortunately I have to disagree. The child’s best interest is to have a healthy bond with BOTH mom and dad.
I think your being a control freak at this point, if he wants to have a girlfriend that’s his choice.
If he wants the kids to meet her after four months then suck it up and be the bigger person. Kids need stability but they also need to learn people come and go.
Listen I get the fact that you still want to do family things but the reality is that you 2 aren’t together anymore. I’m gonna assume that you guys are young because if you both knew better you BOTH would realize that you can’t stop him from having other females around y’all kid the same way he can’t stop you from having other men around. Tbh, all 3 of you have some growing up to do. 1) You need to realize that’s it’s BOTH of y’all kid.
2) He needs to grow a pair and stop letting BOTH women dictate what he can/can’t do when it comes to his child.
3) The new gf seems insecure. She needs to understand that there may be times that he will have to be around you without her there.
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Aww sorry he won’t be there
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Okay so that relationship won’t last and if it does it will not be a healthy one.
Naaa don’t let your kids meet her yet, jealousy and insecurity plus her not being able to be an adult about the situation when its literally for the children!?
Shes a red flag
Don’t
Like his gf I mean is a red flag He is too most likely but yeah no
Go with ur gutt
Cause he is weak… she obviously doesn’t trust him. Another reason why he keeps changing girls. It’s not ridiculous to have the dating 6 months rule before being around the kids. This distrust of not letting the parent be around their child cause they will be near the other parent/ex… its childish. Grow up.
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Sweetie- children are resilient- are the girl friends having them call her mom? Just like child care providers and teachers children have adults in and out of their lives. The ones that have the greatest impact are those that stick around. you are very lucky to have a woman in your BD’s life that is involved with his children. She is insecure, who cares, the focus is on the child and their dad.
Your children don’t understand romantic relationships and deserve to have a healthy relationship with their dad.
Too many moms are wishing the BD would be more involved.
There’s no such thing as having too many supportive adults in a child’s life.
Manage your emotions and stop making your issues your child. Let him spend time with his children and let your children enjoy their daddy!
4 months is definitely long enough to at least deserve a meet 
Petty Betty alert on both sides YIKES for the kids.
It’s trick or treating and it’s dads choice on who he allows around his children too, not just yours. If your court order doesn’t say there is restrictions then you’re in the wrong.
4 months while not along time is imo ok for a social event.
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Sorry to be blunt, but your in the wrong and the only person being punished is your child. If ya’ll want separation then he gets your child next Halloween and then you the year after and so on. You can not choose who he is with and keeping your child from him for that reason isn’t going to look good to your child when they realize who’s keeping daddy from them and why.
What I don’t understand are couples who break up and then still insist on doing holidays together. Ya’ll broke up for a reason, and getting along seems to be an issue. So to solve it, just do holidays separately. Halloween is a great one to start with b/c there are usually several events around town that aren’t on Halloween night. So one of you take him to a trunk or treat on a different night and then the other takes them trick or treating the night of. Bottom line, you won’t be able to continue to do holidays together… he will move on a possibly get married one day and have his family and her family that they will want to spend the holidays with their family with his child included. And you will hopefully do the same and have a family and in laws that you will want to spend the holidays with with your child as well. There is really no reason that broken up parents need to constantly celebrate all holidays together. it can lead to even more confusion for the children. It won’t work and you’re seeing as to why right now. There’s a reason that holidays are typically split up in the custody agreement. Also, with age, you will see that this is really a non-issue, or at least not as big of an issue as you are making it. unless she is actively on drugs or is a danger in some way, you have no say. If you do halloween together and the new girlfriend comes, it gives you a chance to meet her and interact with her and that could lead you to being more comfortable with her. B/c bottom line at the end of the day, the child will be introduced to a new partner by both sides, and exes don’t get to dictate new relationships.
It’s about your child not you still controlling him … if you had moved on and had a partner would upu appreciate your ex dictating when and what you do with. The fact she wants to come and is willing to be involved is a great thing and something you should want for your child!!! I think you need to work on you and you are in no position to judge the value of their relationship maybe he’s finally found his happiness with her
Sounds like y’all need to grow up and do what’s best for the innocent child
Then he can miss out. Boundaries are important and should be respected. You are uncomfortable with having a stranger around your children and that’s a valid feeling. He obviously doesn’t care that much if he lets a 4 month relationship stand in the way of seeing his children. Is the girlfriend planning on being there for every and any event ? How is he(a grown ass man) “not allowed” to be around you unless she is present. You are the mother of his kids 
I don’t know but she sounds really insecure
Sounds like you’re all acting childish and should learn to compromise for the best interest of your child.
Sounds very immature. I guess he won’t be trick or treating with you then. Sad that he is choosing his girlfriend over his child. Just my opinion. I wouldn’t even entertain that situation honestly. I would straight up be like ok your loss then.
Leave him behind. Take the kids by yourself. And I agree with not having the kids around the new flavor of the month.
My BD dont even pay my son no mind …
I’m a single mother and personally I won’t introduce a new relationship to my kids until a year in. Maybe that’s extreme but they don’t need to be confused by every fling or prospect. I think people forget that kids are effected by parents introducing new partners. Especially on holidays.
Sounds like he’s doing you a favor. Don’t fall for the drama.
…… you don’t get to make that decision. That’s his child too and the girlfriend obviously wants to be involved in a special day. So does that mean he gets to dictate your love life too?
So I see each side but if he wants to respect his gfs boundaries or insecurities, that is his choice and you shouldn’t expect him to do what you want him to do, bc at the end of the day his isn’t anything to you but your baby daddy and he isn’t you, so you cant expect him to make choices that you would . Co parenting at its finest, but put feelings to the side and if y’all’s son goes over to his home, he’s probably already been around her and others.
You really don’t have a say unless it’s court ordered who cares if she is there, it’s about your child not your feelings. If you’re that uncomfortable with it, then you can take your child by yourself. There’s nothing wrong with either. If the dad is trying to be part of Halloween for the child, you’re the only one stopping that from happening. So you make that make sense.
Why don’t you take this as an opportunity to get to know her? It’s been 4 months. I hope you have this same energy once you meet someone and you keep them away from your kid for 4+ months
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Sounds like someone isn’t over their baby daddy? it’s not about you, it’s about your child. How do you know she won’t “stick around forever” if the child doesn’t care if she’s there then why do you? Let it go sis.
Everyone saying let her come 
yeah let her come but thats besides the point HES being petty and doesnt want to go because a girl cant go. If he really wanted to be there hed be there regardless js
You’re in the wrong here. No better way to get to know her more and let the kids meet her than to do something as a whole group. Have him introduce her as his friend for now and its a night out for the kids so tell them to keep the pda down for the night and yall go have a good night with the kids
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She sounds really insecure, and he sounds whipped. Why would she have any say-so about what he does with his child?
What would you say if it were the other way around and you wanted your partner to go after dating 4 mths and he said no?
GF has no business going Trick or Treating with your children. It is just a few hours he can be without her and be with his children.
Anyone who thinks 4 months is a “decent amount of time” before introducing kids to a new flavor is guilty of serial dating themselves…growing up as the child of serial daters…I promise you it leaves a mark on your kids whether YOU want to believe it or not…good on you mom for putting the CHILD FIRST. F his feelings AND hers for that matter. No REAL woman is going to fight to disrespect the mother of their man’s child. PERIOD.
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Honestly, this may get taken the wrong way So I am sorry in advance. It doesn’t matter if he has girls coming and going. He can make his own decisions. He will regret it later down the road. His girlfriend sounds very Insecure. And you sound like a bitter baby momma. If His kids want him there he needs to be there and it shouldn’t matter if he has a girl he has been with for 4 months.
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Well I can see how you feel but unfortunately your going to have to suck it up so your child can see the dad and it still feel like a family thing 
Let go of the animosity because if you guys don’t learn how to let it go then you will end up messing your kid up! Let him bring his girlfriend and tell your kid its dads friend. You are both parents, you don’t get to control everything just because you’re the mom. Maybe this girl is more special to him than his “flavor of the week” since he’s been with her for 4 months. Its trick or treating not a vacation.
Take advantage of being able to meet her in a group setting. My husband’s ex has been with this guy for two years and refuses to let hubby meet him. Her bf has also never been to a drop off/pick up, soccer game, school function nothing. When we were in court our lawyer told us to keep pushing her to meet him but she always had an excuse. They ended up settling in the hallway before court bc the gal was 100% against hubby bc we have 6 kids(including ss). I think I’d be more worried if he was refusing to let you meet her.
Why do you want to go trick or treating with your ex? lol
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I really get where you are coming from but they have been together four months so this one may be around. Better to get to know her and find out who is around your child. Yeah it does suck and you will be uncomfortable but at least your child will have both parents there. That’s what good co parenting looks like. At the end of the day it’s all about what’s best for the child not adults wants and feelings.