My best friend wants me to meet the new guy she is dating but idk how to tell her that i hooked up woth him before they were even together…she showed me him on tinder when they both swiped each other and i was too scared to say something bc she couldnt stop raving about how nice and amazing he was and how sweet he was…i dont have any feeligns for him…it was a one time thing and we met in a bar and we cut contact shortly after it happened…i am nervous he is going to freak when he sees me so i need to tell her before she introduces us right? someone tell me what to do because I am so lost
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My best friend is dating the guy that I hooked up with: Help!
Easy. You tell her just the same way you told us
So it was in the past
Just be honest with her. Just say you and the guy had met previously and it wasn’t meant to be. And that you don’t have feelings for him
You should have told her to start with. Would have been a lot easier.
“Haha - small world! I hooked up with him a while back! Don’t worry, it was only a physical thing. I’m glad he found someone great like you”
Pretend to have forgotten him
Can’t lie I’ve forgotten partners. Sex wasn’t great or been a long time yo I forgot you
Tell her, it was before they met so why would it matter?
Just tell her. Start out with “Ok, now don’t be mad… I want to tell you before you get any further. You know ____, well him and i hooked up one night…Just wanted to tell you now just in case you feel some type of way”
She’ll be pissed if she finds out after. Just tell her
Just be honest with her
It was only a one night wonder
That was in the past
Come back with the aftermath because I’m here for this drama Rama drama
Why is it so hard to tell her if she’s your best friend ?
Calm down…ya act like ya’ll were getting married.
Based on the info you’ve provided you don’t really know him.
Mention ya hooked up, but be truthful about the frequency.
You’ve got to tell her. The longer you don’t the more awkward it will be to come out with it, or if it comes from him or comes out later and you wasn’t the one to tell her… not good.
He prolly wont remember you
Regardless of when you tell her she’ll be mad tbh best to just rip the bandaid off
Just tell her x you should of said straight away as youve made it harder
You need to tell her…have to be honest.
You might lose this friend tbh. We all know how girls act about their men, that’s really really not a good thing to have to share. Even if it was in the past, that’s not how she is going to see it. You could risk it and not tell her and if she finds out well you lose her then. I think you lose her either way.
I would pretend you don’t remember him and if he remembers you and says something to her than you just say you didn’t recognize him that it was a one night stand.
You should have said something when she showed you his picture. But now it’s really gonna be weird if she finds out and you didn’t tell her before when you had the chance. Just play dumb and act like you don’t remember him.
Shes gunna be angry either way because you kept that information from her when she initially showed you the photo.
Shes obviously going to feel some type of way about it and you know for sure she will. Best thing to do is to be straight up and honest with her and then tell her why you felt uncomfortable telling her earlier x
Avoid avoid avoid the situation for awhile
Keep it simple. Hey I was thinking and I think I know that guy from ages ago. If you make a super big deal about it or hide it too long she may assume you still have a thing for him.
Definitely don’t want HIM to be the one that tells her… just say I didn’t realize at first but I think I hooked up with him. Definitely wasn’t a good match for me. But if you guys have a chance to be cool then I just wanted to be up front so you knew… kind of thing
I don’t see why there is an issue telling her . They were not together , by the sounds of it had not even met. The longer you leave it the more it looks like you have something to hide
This happened to me…with my best friend of 22 years…only I was living out of state and didnt know it was someome from my past until I flew home for her engagement party…the same party she planned to ask me to be her maid of honor…as my best friend of 22 years she saw right away from my reaction when she was finally able to introduce us…wowzers that was fun
How is this a mommy issue
I think you are making too big of deal out of it personally but if she is going to make a big deal I would tell her before things get out of hand
It was a long time ago and it honestly isn’t that big of a deal if it comes up then it does if it doesn’t then just let it be
Just tell her… I had this same experience with a friend recently… I’m happy for them . I was just “playing” not into a ft relationship… she knows and we are cool with that.
Please give an update for this
Yep tell her before she introduces him to you that way she already knows x
You should tell her the true before he does.
One of my best friends and I used to have dating apps ( because where we live is a little hard to meet people) any way , every time we “ click / match “ with a guy and planned to meet we send each other their picture to be sure that were not dating / going out with the same guy
I don’t think it matters … I have a few friends that ended up marrying flings or even boyfriends from my past … I don’t care
Just tell her. It’s not that deep.
Cita Ortiz Blanca Villa
Just tell her straight up
Okay here’s one more option… considering that he means nothing to you, and it was only once, and it was some time back, you could just “not remember”. Like if he says something then you just give him a good long look and say I’m sorry buddy you must have me mixed up with somebody else. If he pushes which I doubt, laugh and say “was I blackout drunk?”
You should’ve told her right then and there, you should tell her asap. It’s not a big deal but delaying it is making it a bigger deal than it is.
Apparently she’s not you’re best friend then. You should never be scared to tell your bestie anything.
If that would of happened to me and my bestie. She show me the picture and I be like you don’t want him. I had him, threw him back to grow. Lol. We’d laugh and go about our day.
I would definitely say something
Yes, tell her now!!!
If it were my best friend I would have said something right away and given her a score of his performance.
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Just tell her straight up and tell her it was a one time thing.
Better than him mentioning it to her after you go to meet him. She would feel so betrayed that you didn’t mention anything before hand.
Thats your best friend and your afraid to tell her you hooked up with a guy before she knew him? Steups. It’s not like your bulling her favourite grandpa. You should have told her from the jump.
BE HONEST if this is truly your best friend!!!
I don’t think it’s a big deal. Just tell her, or don’t say anything at all and see how it plays out. Sometimes people just don’t have to know everything. If it meant nothing then it’s really not that important if it comes to her happiness and as a friend I wouldn’t ruin that if you think it will.
Just tell her. What if this turns into a lasting relationship? Do you really want to try to keep this a secret forever? The truth always comes to light, so just tell her.
It shouldn’t matter if you don’t have feelings for the guy. Also, if it bothers your friend that you hooked up with him, she deserves to know upfront instead of years down the road or after she’s all in.
I married my best friend’s ex I don’t care. He’s mine now and forever. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that they dated.
At the end of the day, they dated but I’m who he married.
Same here, you slept with him, but he’s dating her. As her friend you should want to be honest with her.
You have to tell her. Trust me. I was in a similar situation but it was literally that we had a conversation. Nothing sexual. He told her and now she won’t talk to me. I just didn’t want to hurt her but I did anyway. It won’t be an easy conversation and at first she may feel a certain way but telling her will allow her to trust you
You should of said something right away. Tell her the truth. U haven’t done wrong by having a 1 off with him. Just be upfront with her x
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You can meet who ever you wanne meet
How must you have known they were going to meet amd date later on? So what if you have a childhood ex and 1 of you new friends meet him somewhere and starting to date? I mean must you lock yourself up and date no 1 cause they might be 1 of you friends future bf’s. So tell her straight she did not knew him that time. If shebis angry is aint no friend she is unfair then
If that’s your best friend and you’re scared of her is it really your best friend? My best friend and I have dated the same guy (at different times) and it never even crossed my mind to be upset about it
You should have told her then, wtf
You should have told her as soon as she showed him to you
My best friend and I were both on POF, we always compared notes to avoid this
You missed the opportunity. You should have told her when you saw the picture. There is no right time- just make sure you tell her before he does
Right!! You need to tell her. Don’t let her find out bc he recognizes you. That’s going to more awkward and embarrassing.
Stop being a chicken balls and tell her lol
Why would he freak? Did you do something to him for him to freak about? Lmao it’s not that big of a deal. Just say something
You should at the moment she showed you is when you should have said omg I was with him for one night what does it matter she met him on tinder its not like y’all hung out or anything. Not sure what the big deal is here
You have to tell her ASAP!
tell her you didn’t know how to say it before but you need to come right out and rip that bandage off because if things work out for them that’ll always be an awkward and tense spot for you if you’re not honest
Idk what kind of bestfriends yall are but if this was a BF of mine I would have said something to the effect of ( while laughing my ass off) omg dude I fucked that guy once…
You are definitely not a friend if yr 1st instinct was not to tell her. You have no feelings for him so what r u scared off. Silly tf
I would tell her and BOTH find a new guy…Cuz. He is CHEATING…
Tell her that you weren’t sure it was him but now you are sure. Tell her!!!
So just leave it be then. It was before they were together
Unless I’m missing something here
It was 1 time, before they met. I say leave it alone.
Should have told her.
- You should’ve told her who he was as soon as she showed you his picture. She’s gonna want to know why you didn’t tell her at that moment.
- Honey you were a one night stand and he might not even remember you, but you should still tell your friend.
Tell her exactly what you just told us. You should have told her when she first showed you his photo but since that opportunity has passed you need to inform her ASAP that you slept with him in the past and apologize for not saying anything sooner because you panicked. Make sure you take responsibility for not being forthcoming earlier.
Ohhhhh hard one…. Just pretend you have no idea what he’s talking about lol! you’re just some girl in a bar he probably doesn’t even remember lol . He’s actually interested in your friend
The more you hide it the worst she may react.
The past is the past, but allow her the opportunity to process it. Hurt, anger, and any other emotions she needs
You need to tell her. You should have already when she showed you his pic. Friends are forever. Guys come and go be honest with your friend she deserves it and she might be hurt but all in all it was before they met
Say it was a one night stand. That’s so weird you didn’t tell her when she showed you though.
If it was before they got together and wasn’t serious and just one time I wouldn’t bother telling her. It could ruin y’all’s relationship and make her question you and him and cause drama between you two over something that wasn’t serious
You BEST FRIEND?!!! And she don’t know??? How?! Why? Shit, u should of def said something the first time she showed u! The sooner the better. Definitely let her know or that situation is going to be really awkward!
Pretty simple actually. Just tell her, she’s your friend and there’s no sense in hiding the inevitable. It’s no big deal… it’s a small world and just shrug it off.
Yeeeeea you gotta say something
Lol tell her. Honesty and communication is the best thing in any kind of relationship.
Truth always hurts less than a lie!
She’s your best friend … she’ll probably ask for
" the details" and she won’t care as long as you don’t.
If you have no feelings, and cut off the relationship awhile back, and you haven’t seen him in a while and don’t plan to. You only met up once.Why do you feel the need to tell your friend. Do you like to stir the pot, and cause her to potentially break up a good thing. If you are in a relationship do you want to break up your relationship if you have one. Lose a good friendship and hurt your friend. There is nothing but problems and nothing beneficial in telling your friend. Except causing pain to a supposedly good friend. If she finds ]out it happened, tell her the truth. That they met once and it just didn’t work and there was no interest on either side. Wish her luck and happiness and let her know she would still like to be supportive, and that you wish her to have happiness in her new relationship.
I would just be honest with her. If you hide it and she eventually finds out that might cause trust issues between her and the guy. So be honest and give her the chance to decide whether she wants to keep going with the relationship or cut it off.
This is like a movie… I have no good advice cuz I hate rom-coms… but I’m here for the updates
I think you’re making it a bigger deal by not telling her… If she really likes him; I don’t think it’s actually going to be a deal breaker for her. Since it wasn’t serious; and it was before her, I’d hope you wouldn’t expect it to be. But the longer you wait the weirder it’s going to be. Although I’d be surprised if the guy actually freaks out and brings it up to her. Feel like a lot of men probably wouldn’t even mention it But you should out of respect for your friendship with her.
Just tell her exactly that. Really the only thing insee her having any cause to be remotely upset about is that you didnt mention it sooner.
Sounds like a love triangle waiting to happen
Just be honest. She will be mad if she’s blind sided!
Should have said something immediately
Be honest n tell her
Don’t say anything she doesn’t need to know your business and you don’t need to do that to her to just gloat like you screwed him before she did
Judt be honest… its not like you cheated
Just tell her. It’s a small world
Definitely tell her before she introduces you, because if you don’t you’ll be headed into legit lies territory and the friendship will be over.