So I’ve had a total of 5 miscarriages and stillborn at 28 weeks, but I do have a living 3 yr old who was born at 30 weeks. I wanted to get my tubes tied to end any future pain, and my husband supported me, so we got it done. My daughter broke my heart, asking for a brother. I broke down crying, telling her I tried but couldn’t. I’m pretty sure she didn’t understand. She does have cousins she’s close to, but they all have siblings, and she knows that. I just don’t know what to do. I thought about another pet for her, but we already have two dogs and fishes in a big tank. Has anyone else gone through this and if so, what did you do?
Sorry u gone thru that
Not sure if you are open to it but you can always adopt a baby or get a surrogate
Sorry love Maybe adoption if u r up to it good luck love
maybe adopt ? but hugs mama
There’s two ways you can do about this purse do what my daughter did she has one child she showed this child how nice it is being the only one now she gets things and was able to do more with her but if she had other siblings that she was constantly going to have to share she also made sure that there was lots of cousins and so forth she was around so when they were there she would make her share so when they left should say no if that was somebody that was living here you would not let you would not be able to just say okay it’s over I have to still share they learn quick and most of the time then they don’t want a sibling and if it’s not her and you really want one there’s so many needy gets out there that need a mommy and daddy there are if you can’t afford adoption think about foster care long-term foster care that you may have options of adoption
Please adopt if you can!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe have your Rh tested. Your body could be treating the baby as a foreign object due to your blood type. There is a fix
I’m so sorry you’ve struggled with fertility. I can only imagine how heartbreaking your journey has been and continues to be.
It’s probably much easier said than done but please consider adoption. There are so many babies out there in the world who need a warm home and loving family. Your daughter could still have a brother or sister
Most children ask for a little brother/sister. She will be perfectly fine being an only child! No need to feel guilty about that… just join playgroups…
Apply to be a foster mom so your child can experience having other children in the house
Have you considered adopting?
If you want another child, not because your 3yo wants a sibling, look into fostering & adoption. If another child is not what you & your husband want then she’s just going to have to learn she won’t have siblings.
Talk with a fertility specialist. You can always use a donor egg, a surrogate or adopt an embryo. There are so many options and as mentioned above, adoption.
Consider adoption or foster care. Lots of kids out there needing living homes. And what a great lesson in love for your daughter.
I have 3 kiddos and mostbdays my oldest (8) doesnt like/want his little brother (3) but then asks me to have another little brother or sister for him. Most kids ask and lots get mad after lol.
Long term foster care or adoption is a great route but also can be heartbreaking. Good luck to you and your family momma whatever you chopse keep your head held high. You’ve got this!
It’s heartbreaking, my son often talks about his sister who died at 41+4wks.
All you can do is comfort them and tell them you understand.
Adoption is also pretty damn hard, costly and takes years in Australia
I haven’t personally but my cousin has a daughter a year older than my oldest and she asks for siblings. I tell her that my kids can be like her brothers and sisters. Idk if that will help, but it seems to help her. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Have you thought of having a surrogate
Consider adoption? Surrogate?
So, to piggyback on the adoption perspective. Due to severe preeclampsia and other complications, we decided we were 1 and done. My sister in law had a miscarriage, already had plans to adopt. But the opportunity arose for her to adopt a little girl just a couple months older than my son. After their 2nd visit, they’ve become inseparable. They love each other like siblings and will fight like siblings. I’ve told Xander he can treat her like his sister if that helps. He’s enjoying the dog we recently added to the family also. Just wanted to give you perspective from two angles. Hope it helps.
I’m an only child and grew up with my cousin who is the same age, when I was younger I wanted a sibling but as I grew up she became my sister and best friend. I have friends who hate their siblings and want nothing to do with them so you just never know… If this is only about your daughter and not you then don’t worry, maybe just take her to Disneyland with a cousin? As she grows up she’ll have friends- just include them in activities
Look up one and done groups on facebook. They are a great resource on how to talk to kids about the whole sibling thing.
I haven’t gone through it, but I am an only child. I asked for siblings too. But I’m perfectly fine without them. I grew up close to my cousins. My kids are 10 years apart, and my oldest is best friends with her cousin. But if you’re set on more, there are SO many kids out there that need homes. If you can handle everything you’ve been through, you’re strong enough to foster. And if you don’t want to do that, adopt. These kids are so lost. If you have love to give, by all means, give it. If we had more money, we’d do it. But we had to save for 10 years between the 2 we have. Perhaps when they are grown…
Adopt! Or Foster Care! Share the LOVE!!
Adoption!!! There are so many kids that needs homes!!!
Am so so sorry you could adopt if that’s not an option then help her make friends when I was a kid I had friends that was pretty much siblings but don’t feel bad because you can’t have any more kids there is lots of single kids
Well I’m an only child and grew up with my cousin as my bff and like a brother. Sometimes it sucked and I wanted a sibling too, but I got to have friends and my cousin so it made it better. Just a view from someone who was an only child and was/is very happy
Maybe consider adopting
Adopt. There are so many that would love to have your love.
No suggestions but I’m so sorry for what you have been through!! It took me 8 plus years to get my rainbow baby boy (2 miscarriages) who was born on my 38th birthday! My heart and love go out to you!!
I had a complete hysterectomy after cancer. Maybe adoption? Not sure. But, I know what it feels like to want another child. I have 2.
I’m so sorry. Have you considered adoption?
Adoption! So many kids deserve a good home
There are advantages to being an only child. Your goals in life should not revolve around giving your child a sibling! More important things!
Have you considered fostercare? I divorced 10 years ago and wasn’t ready to be done having kids. Now I am a single mom to my 2 bio daughters (20 and 15) and we have added 2 new girls to our tribe (9 and 3) and I am on track to adopt then soon!
Have you considered fostering or adoption ?
Facebook is not the place for your answer. Gods will. Nobody else’s.
Having siblings doesn’t guarantee they’ll be super close. Tell her God thought she is/was so special he doesn’t this she needs siblings and you don’t need more children.
I accepted it… you kinda have to… there’s always adoption
Foster care adoption… I have 1 adopted son and 1 biological son. BEST THING I EVER DID😁
Foster some kids who really need you
Adopt or foster to adopt. Dont be so selfish. There are plenty of kids that need parents right now.
Keep her busy with lots of friends. Sleep overs, outings.
My 8 year old asks a lot. She wants a sister. It does break my heart.
Look into fostering then possibly adopt, maybe go that avenue. Lots of kids who are looking for a family.
I am an only child and I’m not scarred due to not having siblings There are a lot of benefits to being an only child too!
Growing up I had a friend who was an only child and she grew up to be an amazing and independent lady! Only children can be a good thing!
I truly believe adoption or fostering can help fill that void.
First, I am so sorry you’ve gone thru miscarriages and a stillborn that is tremendous pain and a hard journey. They are safe now though if you believe in that if you don’t that’s okay too. I bet you are an amazing mom and it is okay to feel like it’s not okay that you couldn’t add more to your household it is okay to feel selfish about that. If you do feel strongly tho about wanting to add another one to bring more love to look into adoption. Bless your heart.
Lots of kids ask for another baby sibling, even kids with brothers and sisters. You’re feeling sad about your personal story, but, don’t dwell on that. Just tell her she’s so special. She’ll bring it up from time to time but just roll with it for now.
Adoption is always a wonderful option for helping your family grow
My first was full term stillborn
…had my daughter high risk pregnancy…had tubes tied and burnt…she wanted a sibling…I wish I could have had her one…she was close to my nieces…but my sister got a new guy and I went from having them alot to none at all…I just hate that when me and her dad are gone she will be alone🥺
Babysit your nieces and nephews once in awhile
So I have one child and was an only child and honestly I don’t see what the problem with only one. Lots of love and attention for one kid isn’t a bad thing! I’m sure I will get hate for this but maybe it’s just meant to be that you have one? Like the universe is saying it’s all you need.
I only have 1 child, a 6 year old little girl(My husband does have children but they are grown). I miscarried over 2 years ago and haven’t been able to conceive since then. Fertility treatments are out of the question as they are expensive and I have endometriosis, so anything to do with adding extra estrogen is a definite no. My daughter knows I have miscarried(baby went to heaven), made the mistake of telling her I was pregnant too early in my pregnancy. She constantly asks for a baby sister. She does have 2 younger male cousins that she loves(when she doesn’t want to sell the 1 year old on Ebay ). I have come to the realization that they will be her closet person to siblings. My sister and I are very close so our kids are being raised together, I don’t think more than a few days passes without us seeing eachother and our children. I wish there was an easy way to explain to my daughter, there will be no siblings but when she brings it up, I just try to change the subject, I don’t know how to explain to a 6 year old that mommy isn’t having any luck getting pregnant. My best advise, raise your kids with somebody who you are close with so they can all grow together and they will hopefully have that “sibling” type bond with them.
If you Really want another kid adopt.
What about a kitten? You can always get a tubal ligation reversal, but most insurances will not cover it since it is not medically necessary in most cases and you don’t have a 100% chance of a successful pregnancy. There is also IVF, but that is more expensive. Also there is adoption.
Have yall considered adoption? Yes you may not be able to have more babies especially with what youve been through BUT there are thousands of teens, toddlers, and babies needing a new mommy and daddy!
Adoption? Fostering? Turn the unfortunate situation into a good one Maybe by fostering you can teach your daughter that there are so many babies and children that would benefit from a loving family until they can be reunited with their own. Or possibly adopting out of the foster system
I’m sorry for your many losses. Though I have not experienced what you have gone through, I can’t imagine your pain. There are other options to bring more to your family, have you looked at adoption or having someone else carry a baby for you?
Maybe be foster parents or adoption
Surrogacy? Would be worth a try so your daughter can have a full sibling if that is something you want
I know youll never get to experience carrying the child in your womb but fostering and adoption can be wonderful and if you foster then choose to adopt most states cover the adoption costs!
There are a lot of children looking for homes. So many homes jam packed with unwanted children. I know plenty of people that were a adopted, not to mention I was in and out of foster care. You could become foster parents. Lord knows there are lots of kids needing someone they can look up to.
Adoption, foster, or find some on willing to carry for you !?
I’m very very sorry about your situation
I adopted. My son is my heart
Maybe try fostering or adopting. Or even a surrogate.
What about adoption. Being 3 years old she may not get the whole not being able to have more kids.
Maybe you could foster
Adoption 6xs In Addition to my bios who are 8 years apart. Bio, 5 adoptions in 9 month period, bio, and then one more adoption
Prayers for peace and comfort
I probly would tell her that you were blessed to be her mommy. And her blessed to be your daughter … Somethings arent ment to Be understood until the right timing. Probly when she older… I would say things like im glad i have you it be harder with without yoy. And it helps them to understand they are needed as much as you need her. Eventually she will understand how she is a miracle baby … As even sometimes all the pain you been threw. Your a strong momma" and she will see this growing up. Dont be hard on your self . pray. The right answers will come to you.
Adoption can be extremely expensive especially if it’s not fostering to adopt. I know her words cut like a knife now but she doesn’t understand. And I know it hurts so so bad, but keep your head up. It will get better and as she grows up you can better explain to her her. I know out sucks right now but just keep pushing through, it will get better
You are not alone. There are many mom’s and dads that know your pain. It easy for people to be cavalier and say adopt, foster, etc. The hard truth is that this may be your family Dynamic. Embrace it and love your kiddo with all you have. Hopefully, she will never have to know your pain, but someday she will understand.
If you want another, there are thousands of children waiting in the foster care system for parents, people like you who have the love to give them. You may not get a newborn, he or she may be a toddler or even older, but you will be changing a childs life, and your own life, forever.
Have you looked into Fostering and maybe ultimately Adoption? I think this might be something wonderful for your family and for the child/children who needs that love and attention. If y’all are up for it, I bet your daughter would be even more excited about this than another sibling that came the old fashion way lol. She would be a sister to someone who maybe has never had a sister, and a family to a child who may have never had a true family. Don’t look at what could have been, but at what could be!
I was in same situation where I kept having miscarriages and couldn’t handle it so I literally had my tubes tied 5 days ago. My daughter is 3 and keeps saying she wants a sister, so we started calling our dog her sister, she loves it and thinks it’s great. I told her mommy isn’t having any babies and she will have her puppy as her sister. They are young they will get it one day. And if it’s really that bad, and you feel you want another you can adopt. That’s what we decided. But everyone is different
5 miscarriages as well. Went back on the pill until we can get my husband a vasectomy. I’m fortunate though and I have 2 children and both are old enough to understand. That being said, we considered adoption. Things did not end up working out for us financially to do so and we are still thinking about it. You have options. You can do surrogacy, foster with option to adopt, adoption, or nothing and wait until she is older and explain to her then. Plenty of people only have 1 child. 1 and done, so she is not alone in the world. If you adopt that child will be just as much her sibling as if you had given birth and will be your child the same as if you had carried it. Love is love no matter what. Family is what you make it. Blood or not. If you want more children but not the heartache of miscarriage than I say adoption. Good luck to you. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a pregnancy. 5 in 3 yrs. Sometimes our bodies are not meant for more than 1, but there are plenty of children out there in the world that could really use a mommy to love them.
Have you thought of fostering children around her same age?
That is so hard mama, I would say the only thing I would consider at that point is adoption but that’s not an easy road either
Adoption,? you can still be a momma to another child that needs you, you seem like wonderful woman, maybe think about adopting a baby?
You could always adopt, even foster to adopt! I’m so sorry for your struggle mama, just know you are loved wholly by your family
I would get her her own kitten. Explain when she is older. Let her name the kitten keep all its stuff in her room. Give her something that is all hers. Im Terribly sorry for your loses.
Oh mama I have not experienced your pain but wish you All the Strength and Guidance.! I’m sure one day she will understand.
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine that pain. I would encourage you to look into fostering and/or adopting.
Adopt …or maybe at least foster parent
Foster parents…you’d make a difference in the lives of many.
At 3, it is so very hard for her to understand, even when broken down for her to understand - something along the lines of mommy’s body only had enough strength for the perfect girl, or whatever you chose to tell her - there is no right or wrong or shaming. Have you thought about adopting or fostering? I know where I live (Northwest Ohio; think the Toledo part) there is a desperate need for foster parents. It isn’t for everyone, but you can foster to adopt.
I am so sorry for your pain and loss, but with the amount of love you have maybe consider adopting!
Foster mom? Adoption?
You could always foster and or adopt. I have 2 that are biologically mine and 2 I adopted
Have you thought about adoption? Just because you cant bare a child does not mean you cant have one. What about freezing your eggs and using a surrogate? You have options.
I’m sorry, but if you have a broken heart because you can’t have another baby for your other kid then you’ve got this whole motherhood thing all wrong. I’m sorry that society has made you feel that you have to pop out subsequent babies to appease an already existing child. Your womb is not an animal shelter where you go to pick a friend for your child. You’re teaching your child that her happiness is dependent on someone else’s existence instead of herself.
I don’t know if you’ve tried it but I took one baby aspirin from the moment I started to try and conceive till I was 7 months pregnant. I had two miscarriages before I had my first son and was told I may not be able to have any kids. My ObGYn said he read an article were the women took one baby aspirin a day till they were in their last trimester. I tried it with all three of my kids and never had an issue getting and keeping a pregnancy. I would of had two more kids but after my daughter I hemorrhaged and died. So my husband finally broke down and got me a dog. Lol not the same by any means. But if you were still trying give the aspirin a try. If not you can always foster/adopt. There is always a baby out there that needs love. Maybe volunteer at your local hospital to hold the babies. It’ll give you time with babies to help pass the baby blues and who knows maybe someone will ask you to adopt directly from them. You never know what your purpose is in life
My aunt tells my little cousin, god said she can only have one baby, and so she chose him!! He’s 4, and he loves that they chose him!
Just explain to her and say mommy got sick and can’t have anymore it’s hard when they’re only at a certain age but they will understand it when they get older. If you’re really wanting to grow your family and she really wants a little brother you could always consider the option of adopting a child that doesn’t have one or just didn’t have a very loving one that took care of them. Sometimes teenagers make mistakes and love the child but they want to give it up because they can’t take care of it the way they want to. You could be that loving motherly figure there that supports them emotionally and adopt their child and gives it those chances someone couldn’t.
My son asked for a sibling and I told him no I dont want anymore but I can see how it’d be harder to explain if you did want another
I tried for many years and I couldn’t get pregnant, so I adopted. It’s not easy and it’s super expensive and that’s the first thing people always suggest but the process is not an easy one. It was worth it, yes but it’s not always an option for everyone due to the costs as well. 15 years later I became pregnant. I lost the baby at 18 weeks, I got pregnant again a year after and lost the baby at 24 weeks after he lived for 12 hours. I was finally diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. I have taken all the necessary safety precautions and now I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant.
Adopt a child, there are a lot of kids/babies that needs a home
I am sorry, but why not adopt? So many kids out there that would love to be in a loving home like yours. Try that and spread that love your family has for a child who was looking for you all.