Buy cheap clothes to send her over to her mom
It’s so fusterating been there done that. Keep trying to keep the good stuff at your house. Maybe get a few things that aren’t as expensive and allow her to bring them over there. I ahyed thinking that mine wouldn’t have nice stuff over there when she went home
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I been there just start sending her back with the exact things the mom sent her in
Iv delt with that and still do but now I send them back in the tings she sent them to us in and no toys or anything goes to her home
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Wash the clothes she comes with and send her back in them. Or buy some cheaper clothes you don’t mind not getting back and send her home with those.
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I’d buy nice cheap clothes/shoes to send her home in and keep the expensive things at your house. It’s expensive to buy so much everytime so I don’t suggest you keep buying. You can’t control what her mother says nor what she tells people. Look at who you are dealing with and ask yourself if they are capable to have and understand you. Your bonus daughter knows who bought it for her and that’s what’s important. Keep your eye on the prize which is happy clean children that you took part in help raising. Don’t sweat the mom. Who knows what battles she’s dealing with and crazy people will believe their own lies. Frustrating but unfortunately she is in your life. And don’t check her fb posts. All it will do is upset you.
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No matter what the kid loses. My kids father like to make a big deal of not letting her wear a jacket because his clothes he buys cant leave his house. Or throws a fit if he does let her wear something home he doesnt see it for a while. My kid is allowed to pick her clothes at my house. I don’t have time to deal with the stupidity of it all. If she chooses to wear something over to her father’s and I never see it again. Whatever. I’m a savy enough shopper that I can spend $100 and buy an entire wardrobe. So if she comes back from her father’s in ripped stained clothes they go straight in the trash.
I don’t want my kid to feel like shes in the middle of a clothes war. At least on my end.
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I was a single mom and my girls had certain things they were allowed to take to their dads. They always looked good but I did not send them with their good clothes. Sometimes I didn’t get back what I sent them with.
It is a very frustrating thing.
I would send her home in the same clothes she came to you in. That way your nice clothes for her are there when you need them
We sent our son back in forth in the clothes he came over in. Washed obviously. Hopefully she’s not taking them and selling them or something. I agree with others have said. Buy cheap clothes to send her in. Keep the nice stuff for your house
Throw her old clothes out and stop playing the game. Buy her extra clothes and send them home with her. They are HER clothes she should be able to take them with her and wear them no matter what house. It’s not her fault and she shouldn’t have to wear old torn clothes just because she is at her mums house. If you bought her clothes she should be able to take them from house to house without worrying who bought them and whose house they belong to
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My husband and I went through the same thing we never saw the new clothes again so we started going to second hand stores and buying decent clothes and sending the kids home in those and the new clothes we kept at our house for the kids and if Mom keeps bringing it up and tries to bring it up in court take pictures of the kids in the clothes and the receipt I would savqe to go to court and ask Mom to produce receipts showing what she spent the child support on, it doesn’t look like it’s the child
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Just keep doing what you are doing. She will grow up knowing that you both care and come to her own conclusion. You will be making yourself her hero and she will learn the value of truth.
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I don’t get how parents want to buy the $40 outfit when you can get a cheaper outfit at target? 
just send her in cheap clothing. I seriously hope you’re not making it a big deal about it in front of the “bonus daughter” because that could make the daughter feel bad about herself or feel bad about her mom. It just sounds like you’re being dramatic. Pick your battles.
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We send a bag. His weekend of clothes, back and forth. Most the time all of it comes home unless he lost it himself
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I’d start writing initials on the tag so she can’t go back & say she bought it. Clothes are expensive, especially buying them for 2 households.
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I would buy nice clothes for her to wear back but also keep anything name brand for your home only. She doesn’t need name brand anything at school and that is a lot to be buying and never see again. Can get decent cheap nice clothing and shoes from many places that arent 100s of dollars that wont matter so much if you dont see them again.
Its pretty sad that her mum feels the need to do it. But at least the child is getting a lot of use out of these things…
Just need to pick your battles sometimes. The child will realise 1 day nd be old enough to bring stuff back herself
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Id take pictures and date them of what the mom sends her in and id buy some cheap but nice looking clothes to wear or even look at thrift stores
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Write their name on the tags 
have you ever questioned whether she is keeping them there on purpose. If she has dirty ripped clothes at hers mums is her mum struggling for money? Is she embarrassed to be around her friends in the clothes her mum has. Maybe don’t make her feel bad for where she wears the clothes? Kids are cruel and she may be getting bullied …
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I go through the exact same thing with my oldest we pay $133 a week in child support and he comes home all the time saying he has no clothes that fit him at his mothers house or torn up shoes and as much as it sucks we go out and buy him clothes for his moms house too I rather know he has everything he needs at both houses then him have to suffer at one because his mother is bitter . He knows who does what for him and that’s all that matters
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Or maybe her mum could be selling them if you haven’t seen them in so long?
I think especially if the relationship isn’t good with the mum and shes slagging the dad off I wouldn’t be purposely sending any clothes back you bought and send her back in the stuff she came in all the time.
You could try and find out if she is struggling for money but if your husband is paying child maintenance then thats to help towards his daughters clothes etc she should be using that. But if its a bigger problem with money she needs to tell you about it if she wants to start keeping the clothes you buy.
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easy fix send her home in what she came in or just by a few cheap items for her to wear home
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My kids dad use to keep my good stuff for the longest time I put my kids in play clothes which I hated doing but then he got to the point where he stopped doing it and if u have to don’t send her in super nice stuff just make sure she looks decent
I can’t understand what the issue is. It’s the child’s clothes. Send them back and forth and start throwing away the bad clothes and replace them if they bother you that much. Or wash and send her home in the clothes and shoes she came in.
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I’ve dealt with this the past 6 years.
The best solution I can give you…wash whatever clothes/shoes your bonus daughter wears from her moms to your house and when she goes back to moms send her back in the exact same clothes. Yes, it’s sucks but I promise if you don’t that for awhile it should prove a point to bio mom.
However; your saying bio mom checks daughter out of school then drops her of…is she able to do that? Because on your court ordered days bio mom has zero rights to pick her up at school. I would seek mediation or court for this issue.
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I get the frustration but with my 2 older boys I don’t see dads and mine I just see it as the boys’ but if I bought something and want it back for pictures or whatever they will make sure to send them back!
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I used to keep clothes at our house for my bonus. I would take her clothes as soon as she got here. I would have her wear the clothes I bought with us, then change back to her original clothes before she left. I also hit yard sales for her as well.
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she sounds jealous and miserable not much you can do besides talk to her woman to woman and ask what the hell is happening to the babies clothes and if she keeps taking them, then she better start buying some for you to keep over there or i would just stop sending her "nice " clothes over there. only send play clothes/cheap clothes
sorry you have to even put up with that 
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I went through this. When my bonus kids would get to our place I would have them change into clothes that we had there for them. I would wash the outfit they came in and have them change back into it before going home. We kept whatever we bought there at our place for them to have when we had them. We use to send the stiff home with them but always had the same problem so that was our solution
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Just sent her back in clothes from her moms, that’s what we started doing, we would always send my stepdaughter in nice cute clothes only to never get back until she’s outgrown it.
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It is a pain. I used to have that problem with my ex. My kids are now grown but we get my bonus daughter and we make sure to have the clothes she arrived in washed that way she goes back home in them. It is the only way to solve the problem when you have a parent that is that way. Unless you want to continue buying clothes for them to end up there and never returned.
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We went thru this for yearrrrrrs. it will either come to the point that you and dad provide all of her clothing for both homes because bio mom just never stops the game, or you will accept putting her in less nice items on days she returns to moms house. It’s hard. But as long as the clothing fits and isn’t In terrible condition I finally just learned to let it be.
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I saw a video on what another mom did - Go to the thrift store, buy clothes in her size, and use those to send her to her moms house in when you’re able to, there’s not much you can do for the other times when she unexpectedly goes to her moms. But another choice, is not to buy clothes that you’d be upset to not get back, I know you’d want all of your kids to wear adidas, Nike, etc. But those things aren’t cheap to replace, and it would be easier on you if she left a $5 Walmart shirt at her moms rather than a $30 shirt.
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I swear it is mental illness and she literally is just being salty over what you willingly provide vs what she refuses to provide. My exes baby mom and his parents were the same way, send him home in his new outfits and never see them again. He moved back in with his mom and then next thing you know, he’s wearing all the beautiful outfits that I bought him… The jealousy was quite pathetic. I mean I love the kid so spread the wealth right? Fyi I ain’t got no damn wealth, I’m on disability and still found a way to dress him in beautiful clothes that fit
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I used to get worked up over stuff like this all the time…but it isnt worth it. You are going to stress yourself into a heart attack.
Either continue to do it and look at it as gifts for the kids. Keep a couple really nice outfits at your house for outings.
Or stop buying things and just let the mom and dad deal with it.
I started buying giant used lots off facebook groups. Then they have lots of options and I didnt spent hundreds of dollars.
And this didnt end when the kids got older either - because then the nice stuff always came from me and they really wanted to wear that stuff to school and show it off. 
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Let her dress nicely even at her moms house if you can provide extra for her to wear there. It only helps the child.
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I would send my son and daughter to their dads for the weekend and I sent enough clothes for the weekend and it just came back ruined. I finally told him I wasn’t sending clothes and it was on him to provide clothes while he had them. I just made sure that the clothes and shoes I sent them in on Friday were ones I wasn’t concerned about being ruined or not sent back
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I can’t even imagine what your going through. I am so thankful my ex and I do EVERYTHING in the best interest of our kids.
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My dad always tells me “don’t send anything that you want kept nice or that you want back!” When it comes to exchange with my ex for my 4 year old. My son has one outfit that he wears for exchanges cause me and my ex agreed that it would be easier instead of the "return these " fight we both get him and when we change him for bed we wash that outfit and have to ready for exchange
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My mom kept separate clothes for my siblings and I at her house for when we would come over. We’d come and leave in the same outfits that we wore from our dads, that way we didn’t have to worry about packing stuff and potentially leaving it behind. And we did the same thing when she got custody of us. Clothes at both houses and we’d come and go in the same thing.
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We had that problem. We started sending my step son back in the clothes that he wore here. Now she never sends him in ripped worn out clothing. But she use to take and keep all the stuff we bought so we constantly had to buy more on top of paying child support. We now have it so that he goes home in whatever he wore here. She use to throw a fit saying he was allergic to our laundry detergent. So I switched to one that had no scent and didn’t tell anyone until she tried saying it wasn’t all nautural and he was having a reaction. My husband took a picture of the dye and fragrance free allergy friendly soap we had and sent it to her. Never heard another word about it. We even switched back and she still hasn’t noticed. She just didn’t like that we used a different brand than she did. We also started holding her clothes “hostage” until we got ours back. Every now and then we have to say something but not often. Like my step son is only here every other weekend to spend the night and every Tuesday after school. So he only has one pair of kaki pants and a pair of nice black pants for when he needs to dress up. He unexpectedly spent the night and wore that outfit home from school. My husband nicely asked for the pants back and it took her awhile but she eventually gave them back. I’d start keeping a folder with all receipts in it so you have proof you bought them.
I had to request she bring her clothes home. Or wear them home. Because my daughter would leave school uniforms at dads. Later it was her favorite clothes. The kid had two full wardrobe s.
Send her in “play clothes”. Or clothes you don’t mind losing if she don’t send her back with the clothes you send. I had to do that with my daughter because my ex would keep the new clothes I bought and send her back in clothes that were stained and didn’t fit.
I send my daughter to her dads in the things that him and his mother buy her. I dont ever send the things I bought with her. Ill never get them back. My daughters dad has actually sold my daughters shoes and clothing I have bought her just for alcohol or chewing tobacco. It sickens me. Even though you’d rather have her in nice clothing and you know the mom is picking her up or whatever, send her in the clothes her mother sent her in but make sure the clothes are clean. Or you could get a cheap pair of Walmart shoes for her and send her home in those.
Stay out of it and stop buying stuff. Whatever she comes over in and with would be how she goes back . Love her without the material shit.
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Im not in that situation. But ive witnessed it with both my brother’s son and my sister’s bonus children. Their mothers would send the most raggedy clothes with them to spend the summer. Most of the time they weren’t even clean. They both just buy them new clothes the first day they arrive. They also send them home with them. In both cases, they live out of state and get them for the summers and alternate holidays. So it would be pointless for them to keep them with a fast as children grow. In my opinion, it’s not a huge deal. I get where it’s frustrating. But sending them home in a nice outfit means that child will get to wear it whenever they want. In the end, it should be about making sure the child has nice clothes.
Yup. Went through this. My husband has primary custody and it’s been a battle with clothes. But one day my stepson threw up. Sisters changed him. Were kind enough to send his dirty clothes back and since that day, we have the outfit his mom sends him in to send him back in. It was stressful losing our good clothes and having him be returned to us in clothes that were 2 sizes too small. I’d suggest buy a cheap outfit from WalMart and send her back in that and go from there. Good luck!
I had to buy hand me down clothes and shoes that I wouldn’t be upset losing or getting destroyed to send my daughter in until she was old enough to be responsible for her own things.
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Keep buying her clothes. Why make her suffer more?
I feel this so much, I feel like I’m continuously buying my 8 yo daughter new clothes every little bit her dad never sends her back in the clothes she wears over on Fridays when she comes home on Sundays finally I had enough and told him her clothes she wears there has to come back with her on Sundays because I’ve bought so many clothes the past few months now I try to send her in play clothes so I don’t mind if they don’t come back
Send her to moms in grey sweats, flip flops, and a T-shirt. I really really really hate to do this bc I do have my kids dressed well, but the other side kept stealing my clothes!!!
my boyfriend has his little boy every other weekend,when he comes for the weekend we wash his clothes rhat he comes with and he wears them back home.We do buy clothes for our home,they don’t leave our home.We do it that way because we would never see them again.He wanted to take a favorite toy home so we said ok ;told x can you make sure he brings it back to our house.never saw it again.I know it’s just a toy,but that’s not the point.Anyway how we are doing it is working out.
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Honestly i would send her back home in what her mom sends her in. Maybe then she would realise that its not cool. I feel bad foe the child tho
Don’t send over her good clothes. I get it my ex would do the same so I sent my kids back in the clothes he would send them in. He got mad but oh well
Same with my Granddaughter…her “mother” would send her in dirty clothes, shoes that were too small & hair (beautifully curly) that hadn’t been washed. If we sent her back in new things, never seen again. Send her back in the same clothes she came in, but washed. It’s spite work on the mother’s part!
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I give whatever clothes my step sons mom wants back back because I get how hard it is to keep nice clothes around! However, we don’t make it a big deal & we all coparent. Sounds like that lady has to much time on her hands. Who has the time to waste being that miserable.
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Is she struggling financially and embarrassed to admit it? The whole claiming she bought the shoes is what made me think of that since she might be embarrassed that y’all can provide nice stuff for the daughter and she can’t.
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They are not your clothes they are the childs I went through this as a child and it’s pathetic! Grow up! You want her to dress a certain way ect you ever thought the reason you didn’t see them shoes because she didn’t like them just said she did to act grateful! When instead her face shoes are the ones that will probably look like they have been scruffed against pavement all the time! Maybe she doesn’t like them pretty dresses and now they just sit in the back of her closet until someone makes her put it on! You probably won’t see them because her face clothes are the worn down ones and they are worn down because she likes them and chooses them!
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I had this exact same issue ! I ended up just buying little outfits & shoes that weren’t to expensive and sending her home in those . It sucks but it’s hard to afford nice shoes and outfits just for them to get lost 
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I had this situation happening with my son so I started washin and sending him back in the exact same outfit he was sent in. Socks, shoes, jacket. Everything.
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Take pics of what you send her in and make sure they match when she comes back, if not, break into her house and take it back
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She’s obviously being neglected by the cunt. Get the courts involved.
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Get it written in the custody agreement that she has to give the clothes you send with the kids back. Start labeling everything
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Your daughter is 8. She should be responsible for her clothes at her mother’s house. With that said, Keep all the receipts and every time she goes over to her mom’s catalog what she takes over there and have your daughter and mother sign it. Have a police escort to get the clothes that you paid for and present the receipts (make sure to keep a copy of said receipts) . If the police refuse to help or cannot help obtain the items that you bought, take her to court. Sue her for the items and court fees and defamation of your husband’s character. Also seek full custody of her.
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Take pictures and keep receipts etc
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I had to replace my sons wardrobe twice because of this. Shoes, toys, sippy cups. I don’t mind helping but if you can’t bother to send them back with it then I stop. He literally said he didn’t understand why I couldn’t buy 2 of everything… I can provide for our son, but I can’t provide double when I have other kids to take care of as well.
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We went through this and he pays 700 a month in child support… keep stuff you bought at your house and always send her back with what she wore it keeps the arguments out and also helps the children not feel like they are in the wrong…
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I would wash her clothes that she arrives in - even if it’s school clothes and then she wears them back the day she goes back instead of your clothes
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This is a really common issue in my single parent and/or divorced groups, because mom has shown herself to be petty and hostile I would send her back in the things she comes in UNLESS it’s seriously to small or weather inappropriate and she has somewhere to go between your house and moms like school, in that case I would buy those cheap packs of hanes shirts and some comfy sweats to keep on hand to take back to her mom’s and just keep the nicer, more expensive stuff for exclusive use at your house. In my opinion the severity of this issue also depends on the amount of time she spends at your house and the amount of times she transitions which relates to how many times she ends up “missing” things. If she is primarily at moms, then yes it makes sense that the brand new shoes stay at moms for her to use for school but if she does split custody or even you guys have primary than mom needs a wake up call and needs to send stuff back, start taking pictures and keeping receipts of things for them to be returned. I know of many Dad’s/stepmoms who have primary placement or 50/50 who end up supplying both houses because mom won’t/can’t for whatever reason and it’s just to pricey so they stared demanding things back. One women even showed that mom was giving it to her bonus daughters younger sister because mom didn’t wanna be responsible for getting her stuff and her dad wasn’t involved. Some people are shady but ultimately we have to figure out if the war is worth it since it’s the kids who suffer the consequences of poor adult decisions.
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I had the same issue with clothes. But it was the other way around. I’m the bio mom. My kids got sent home looking crazy and not in my stuff. So we decided not to send anything we bought. I stopped sending my nice stuff there entirely. I sent them in play clothes only. And I didn’t care how anyone felt about it.
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Stop sending her home in the nice stuff you buy hun! Send her home in the stuff she comes to yours in! Take pics when you pick her up or she is dropped off (it’ll be time stamped) and when she goes home. If my bonus mum was like yours I’d do that. Fairs fair 
Stop sending her over in the nice stuff you guys get her. I mean buy cheaper Walmart stuff to send her over in.
Take a picture of the kiddo when y’all first get her and send her back in the clothes she comes in. Washed of course. Also do the same for school. It sucks but it’s proof of what y’all put her in. I will say that at 8 years old, the kid probably understands that she has garbage items with her mom and wants the nice stuff that she gets with you all.
We had/have the same issue. When my sd was 8 I would just pick up some extra inexpensive clothes at Walmart to send her back to her moms in. Now… Its hell. Shes 14 and uses one parent against another, to get her what she wants. Resents younger 1/2 sibling and just makes daily life impossible. Id love to tell you it gets easier, but in my case, not so much.
I told my bonus son as long as he wasnt naked he could wear any clothes to any house. No need to stress the kid out worrying which clothes belong where. As they get older they will let you know more about their personal style. They’re kids. Love them, that’s what they want above all else. Oh and flaming hot cheetos or cosmic brownies or whatever trendy lunch snack is in style at the moment.
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Wash and wear them back. Take pictures of her when she arrives so she can’t tell you you sent her back in something different
Poor child. She is really the victim here. Can dad have a discussion with bio mom. If child doesn’t have good clothes at her mom’s I wouldn’t care if she took her clothes from my house . I would just keep extra things that were worn at my home only. I would not deny the child use of nice clothing no matter where she lives. Their child is a reflection on both her mom and dad. That includes clothing, shoes, cleanliness, hair , etc.
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Ah I say stay outta ur husband and baby mama drama . When she going home change her back in the clothes she brought her in . Take pictures of home she arrives and leave for future reference . Also stop stressing ya self about ur husband past . He needs to handle that
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Simple…dont send her to her mothers house with expensive nice clothes on. Send her back wearing the clothes her mother dropped her off in .or keep receipts for everything so when she tries to say she brought it you have proof that she didnt . I really dont unserstand why people have to ask strangers for advice for things that you can sort out on your own, use your brain
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Can’t help ya, we just got in from a BBQ planned by me and my bonus kids moms where my hubs and hers were teaching the kids to catch footballs together… I couldn’t imagine this kind of situation nor what this level of mental trauma is doing to the lil one. Poor kid.
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How often is she with you
Just send her there In play clothes and shoes. Don’t send her with anything but what’s on her person. When she’s with you dress her in all the stuff you buy her.
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I feel like it is what it is really. She obviously need clothes. She is old enough to have that discussion with. Children grow so fast and the mom may not be able to buy “nice clothes”. Child support is usually split with rent, bills, food, healthcare, childcare, and yes clothes.
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Photos and receipts (if it ever goes to court) are your best friend.
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What i do is the clothes my boys are wearing when I pick them up is the clothes they wear when I drop them off and u need to make it where only yall can pick her up early from school.
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Stop sending her in your clothes. Wash the stuff she comes in and send her back in them or go buy a few cheaper outfits and send her in those.
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Take a picture of her dropping the kids off so when you return her in the same clothes she can’t lie !
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Does she simply not have nice clothes at Mom’s? What is Mom doing with the stuff she is keeping? Is your step daughter wearing it or is Mom doing something else with it? If she is actually wearing it, I wouldn’t worry so much about it… She deserves to have nice clothing, no matter which parent provides it… If you have specific outfits and shoes you want for your house, keep them there and don’t send her home with them… I would have a problem if her Mom was selling the clothes, etc. But if step daughter is wearing them, I don’t see it as a huge issue… However if you feel like she is constantly sending her in clothes she typically doesn’t put her in just for the simple fact that she knows you will send her home in nice new clothes, then stop… Send her home in exactly what she is wearing when you get her unless it is not appropriate for the weather… And in that case, document for court purposes… My husbands ex wife did that some when they first split up and he started returning her home in whatever she came in and she suddenly started sending her in appropriate, nice clothing… And keep receipts of what you purchase with a photo of it attached as proof
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An 8 year old is old enough to decide what to wear and it’s not your belongings it’s your bounus daughter’s belongings. But if yiu want certain stuff to stay there than dont send it unless thw 8 year old wants to wear it
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Agreed send her back with the clothes the mother sent her in and take photos first.
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Do not take pictures of this child to catalogue what clothes she is wearing and when. That is emotional abuse and all this fussing about what clothes belong where is ridiculous! Buy the child clothes and give them to her to wear!! Stop worrying about what her mom does and just parent this child in love. You don’t have to buy name brand, expensive clothes. Just make sure she has clean clothes that fit her. Stop with what’s on the outside and concentrate on the inside, you’ll all be better for it.
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We have changed rules so that child arrives in same clothes they leave in as mum was sending him back in clothes with holes, tight fitting clothes as we would simply throw these clothes in the bin. They were disgusting, now we send him in clothes and he arrives back in same clothes. Mum is so petty however she will send her own child out in a T-shirt on a stormy day because we sent him in a T-shirt on a warm day. We however don’t acknowledge this ridiculous behaviour and try send him with appropriate options to wear home x
Omgggg I’d be so pissed. She sounds slightly mentally ill tho ngl. I don’t blame u and idk what other ppl are bitching about, new kid clothes are not cheap.
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Just don’t send her in the clothes and shoes you buy her. Just send her back in the clothes she wore there.
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Girl…I went through this. I just started sending the kids back in the same exact outfit they came in. I mean down to the socks. My ex husband paid child support and we bought them anything they needed for our house. It was to the point of mismatched socks, clothes too big, stained whatever it may be. It was awful to have the kids change to go back but it was really getting out of hand. I remember buying sandals for his daughter and then seeing her mom wearing them soon after 
it never ended in any aspect for us. I’m sorry to be a downer, BUT that was my situation. I hope yours gets better.
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Step One. Take off the clothes and shoes BIO MOM sends her in and have her change into another set of clothes y’all provide. Have her change back when you send her back…
STEP TWO send her in plain clothes and shoes when dropping her off for her visit time. Keep it basic.
My stepsons mom tried to say I had a ton of his clothes when I ended up sending him back home with clothes from the last visit. She was shocked when I brought back one outfit lol. After that I would change him out of his clothes she sent him in and put him in our own which she no longer has custody of him.
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Why not just throw out the old ones as she comes over in.
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Buy her the clothes you want her to wear and then when she’s gonna go back to her moms, put her in the clothes she came in
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Don’t let the child get caught up in this as the emotional damage will stay with her
I had the same issue with my granddaughter (who I now have custody of)
My solution was having a great day out with her op shopping so she had nice clothes to wear to her mums but kept all the really nice clothes at my place
Win win situation for us 
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My ex-husband used to do that too. I would get them clothes from the thrift store. They were still in very good condition.
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At the end of the day you need to think ‘how does the child feel?’ If the child is still wearing the nice clothes you have bought is it really that bad? If her mum was selling it or chucking it out I’d be mad too but as long as the child is happy and healthy I wouldn’t stress about losing some nice clothes 
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