My advice leave the dad so you don’t ever have to Be a step mom to a sick kid😂
I have a custody agreement done and settled in court. My kids dad text me let’s me know they are sick and we discuss rescheduling or making up the visit that they missed due to illness(sickness) not wanting to spread it to our babies and back and forth. Same with me they get sick and their weekend visit is scheduled coming up I message him to let him know that they are sick and we need to reschedule for a later date and honestly that’s the way it should be I don’t won’t my kids going up there feeling bad and contagious and spreading it to the kids that they have together. So yeah the ones on here saying he’s still their father still his responsibility that may be true but it’s called having respect for the other household and family. If the other family party continues to send kids back and forth sick everyone will continue to stay sick and feeling bad. Myself my opinion I find this to be very disrespectful of her.
I don’t send my daughter to her dad’s when she is sick. He is older and has health problems
I agree a better heads up and warning of condition would be more appropriate, however thus would not cause a parent to cancel there time, or at least it shouldn’t!
If its a normal cold we’ll yes he should still go to dad’s. With my step sons I would tell them your gonna be sick regardless if you stay home or go to their moms house. I would let her know so she could have medicine needed on hand. But covid is different. I’ve had it 2x in a year and I wouldn’t wish that on no one. You shouldn’t be transferring a child who’s been exposed back and forth. They should quarantine than afterwards have their weekend with the other parent.
If my daughter is sick the weekend my ex is supposed to get her we don’t send her there she stays with me. They do have a newborn now so that’s one reason why and the other reason is I like taking care of her when she’s sick and my ex understands.
She was wrong for the Covid stuff. But no dad being a parent and caring for his child when ill isn’t wrong. It’s his time and kiddo is sick. His home is his child’s home. If she’s telling him at pick up then she’s telling him. You don’t get to decide how their custody plays out. If dad is happy with it then mind your business. If you can’t be near sick people then maybe don’t live with a man that has little Petri dishes running around. If your BF had an actual issue with this he would deal with it.
You’re an AssH***. As a parent you don’t get the choice to ‘only parent’ when a child is well. Sick / well is all part of daily life.
Should the bio mum tell you? You sound high conflict so not telling you may be the best.
Sick he should still go to his dad… COVID NO he should have stayed with his mother…
I think you need to back off. Thats your bfs kid and he has the responsibility to deal with him sick or not. You dont like it, dont be around.
Why can’t the father keep his sick child? I think out of courtesy she should give y’all a heads up but if she has plans or works then the child should be taken to the fathers. I feel like you saying “her son” and “my boyfriends son” says a lot and all though selfish wouldn’t be the word I would use definitely immature would be.
Why shouldn’t the father deal with a sick kid? Lol you sound like the selfish one not wanting to deal with kids just cuz they are sick
She should give you ample warning so you can prepare. But yall are just as capable of handling his sick kid as she is. Sick kid doesn’t not mean moms job. Covid is the only exception, and he should stay with whoever is positive
I hope ur bf dumps u for real …u have no business interfering…I hate ppl like u…his son was in the picture way before u came along…so move along now mommy dearest
She should of kept him home and switch weekends.
I think maybe you are getting to worked up about it. If dad is annoyed then so be it but he’s still a parent. If my son was sick he was never out of my home but he only went to family or friends as his sperm donor has never been around. She’s wrong on so many levels with the covid thing and I think she will continue to do this. If he’s having his son a lot of the time and she always sends him sick then she’s wrong but at the he can look after his son properly and yes she should tell him when he starts to be ill a simple text to say this is not hard. Let him deal with her with your support. Those that say it’s not her business are wrong as it is her business enough as she is with the dad and lives with him. I don’t think she’s being selfish or trying to but in on it all I just think that as the mum she would want her sick child at home with her instead of dads.
I always inform my kids’ dad if they are sick, or starting to show signs of sickness, so he can be prepared and have the necessary medicines ready. Even though, I feel both parents who created life need to be involved in a child’s well being and honestly, does it matter? Like others have said, the child will get sick one way or another. I’d just communicate that she needs to inform you of all sickness so you are well prepared to cater to the situation at hand when in y’all’s care. So yes, you are the A**hole in this situation, it just seems that you are in a relationship that you don’t need to be in. When taking on someone with kids, you are silently agreeing to being involved without selfishness and without favoritism if you were to have your own kids with your boyfriend. If you cannot be a parent to someone that’s not your child, I’d advise to not get involved with someone who already has kids.
Ouch, brutal responses. In the world of covid, I’d think the child should stay where he is if symptomatic, regardless of which home he is at. Pre covid, it wouldn’t be such a big deal, although I think a heads up would be the mature thing to do, but sadly today it is.
That’s a part of parenting
The son is both of their responsibility. Why would he not have his son when he was sick unless the son wanted to stay at his Mom’s when he was sick? My son usually wants to be with me when he’s sick and I usually do keep him - but his Dad would never not want to get him because of him being sick. I think you’re definitely out of place.
F the mom has already been in contact with the sick child & the dad hasn’t been,then the child should stay with the already contacted parent…Why put the other parent at risk of getting sick?..The healthy parent could be the one taking care & running errands for the parent & child that are sick…& f u r with the child’s dad,do whatever u can for the child & their mom…U need to Work as a team…
Absolutely dad should be keeping HIS son on his weekends even if he is sick. It’s called being a parent. Yes, Mom should have better manners & give you guys a heads up but regardless they share him so it’s both parties responsibility I care for him, doesn’t matter the condition.
So what I read is should dad and step mom take care of a sick kid?
Id say she went about covid wrong but not the sickness. This boys father isn’t only a father when he is well, you take the good with the bad.
To all the haters id be very upset if i had a weak immune system and she kept sending him over while sick especially covid. Any illness could be way worse for this woman and the mother doesn’t even say anything about it. When it comes to covid if you’ve been exposed so has your kid and you stay home. I was upset when my roomate tested positive and we all got it. She went out shopping exposing idk how many people.
The Dad should be able to take care of HIS sick child just as well as MOM!!! just my opinion
Wow! Who says it’s just the mums job to care for the child when he’s sick. And you highlight the child is there A LOT well your boyfriend is the child’s DAD so he should be there alot. Sounds like u need to find a boyfriend who doesn’t have a child
Combination of issues. Just because he’s sick doesnt mean you get out child visits. Parenting involves taking care of your child regardless of health. However what the child is sick with could make the difference. What kind of custodial/visitation rules do they have and is it legally established with the courts? May need to go to court and revise visitation rules. Covid adds a level of complexity and the quarantine rules should apply. But if your husband/dad isnt aggressively engaged in this (which sounds like hes not) cant really do anything about it.
Technically you are only his father’s girlfriend
Not a step parent
It’s not your place to stop the visitation every time he is sick
Otherwise his father wouldnt see much of his child
A lot of people including kids are asymptomatic (don’t know they have it due to no visible signs)
Who’s to say you or your bf
Didn’t pick up the virus
From that source and passed it through the house hold or how do you know you and you bf didn’t pick it up
While doing your normal routine such a working, shopping or even just going to the cafe and get a coffee with your friends
Granted the vomiting at school thing should be addressed between the child’s parents without you having anything to say about it
Do you have contact tracing
From the health department?
If so did they do a trace to locate the source of virus
Or are you just assuming
It was that the child who passed it on to others
Who’s to say you or his father didn’t pass it on to him and others
The W.H.O has stated the
Omicron varinent is not as bad as the delta plus strain
But spreads at a quicker rate
When your tested positive did you do a RAT or a PCR test ?
If you did the RAT it will
It won’t show if it’s covit or just a common cold as the symptoms are the same for both
You said the mother didn’t keep him in quarantine for 14 days
It seems to me niether did you or his father
Best bit of advice I can give you
Is never come between a parent and a child
YOU WONT EVER WIN
And Tbh you knew he has a child when you got with him
So either suck it up and accept that’s how it is
Or walk away from him and his child, find someone who doesn’t have kids and is happy to spend all of his time with you
Which brings me to another point
You come across as a selfish jealous gf
I would break up with you if I were him. Part of being a parent is taking care of your child, no matter what. I don’t care if my daughter is sick, if it’s my week she is with me, if it’s her dad’s week, she is with him. Yes we communicate better than most, but that doesn’t change our parenting schedule.
I think…you are being an a-hole… Hey you asked
Being a co parent with this whole Covid issue is difficult. How I see it is as long as the bio mom got her son tested and her son came out negative that would’ve been the considerate thing to do. The flu is still going to be around. If he sick with the flu then why cant your boyfriend have his son on his weekend? That’s part of being a parent you take care of your children whether their sick or not. It’s his weekend and if it bothers you that much than maybe you need to move out. This way if he does have his son and his son is sick you can stay home while your boyfriend takes care of his son at his place.
It is still the father’s responsibility to have his son when he is sick. I understand during COVID because he should he in isolation until health department says no. But, parents still have their children when they are sick. Unless it is stated in court papers that the child stays where he is when sick to avoid spreading contagiousness, he should still see his dad. I have a weaken immune system myself, but i still care for my kids when they are sick.
He’s his dad. He can take care of him while sick too… that’s part of being a parent and what you signed up for. She should of mentioned it ahead of time but you sound like the selfish one tbh
So he’s only his fathers child when everything is just fine?
Ok so I see both sides here…my hubby doesnt get to tap out just cause the kids r sick, its part of being a parent. Which ur signing on for dating a man w kids. The kids being sick is not imo a reason 2 cancel the visit…that being said I agree that her lack of communication is rude.
I was a step mom and mom of my own. We got custody of my step son when he was 2. Before he was with us full time, we had him even if he was sick. After we got him, his mom or her bf almost always took him on her time schedule unless he was so ill that he shouldn’t leave the house. It is both parents responsibility to take care of their kids, whether sick or well. Sorry I disagree with you on this!
You’re the Asshole. Being sick, Covid or not , has no bearing on parenting time. Dad can care for a sick child just like mom does. She doesn’t have to tell you anything , but it would be nice to know.
- Your boyfriend is his dad so seeing him a lot shouldn’t be a concern. Dads are perfectly capable just like moms. Moms need a break just like dads. Maybe moms just sticking to a court ordered parenting plan that doesn’t have an amendment for illness. As for what she tells the doctor, how do you know? If she isn’t communicating how do you know these things. My ex and I don’t share every detail or even any details. We’ve got a schedule and that’s that.
- If you don’t wanna be exposed to every type of contagious disease you probably should stay single or only date people who don’t have kids.
If a child is sick he stays with the parent who has him until he is recovered. Doesnt matter whos day it is. Time can be made up when the child recovers
Also I dont understand why a sick child would be forced to finish the school day after being sick…mom should have picked him up from school , notified you and kept him home.
Idk about the rest of you but as a mom I would rather my sick baby be home with me.
Live in boyfriends with ex wives and children are not worth playing house with . As the live in girlfriend you have absolutely no legal say on what either parent does. Leave before he impregnates you and then leaves you in the same boat she is in
Personally, if my child were sick (unless it was just a cold) I wouldn’t send her anywhere. Regardless of any custody agreement
She should tell you all that he is sick, so that his father can take proper care of him while hes ill. Of course he should still go to his dad’s house on his weekend, he is a parent and we don’t just get out of it because the child is ill. I have a weakened immune system as well, but I’ve always taken care of my 4 children when sick . She should tell you though, just so you can be prepared.
The covid yes he should have stayed home. Just being why can’t his dad take care of him.
Sorry but your thr one with the wrong line of thinking. It’s not a mother’s job to look after a sick child , it’s a parents job, he is a parent
A parents time doesn’t stop just because a child is sick. I would expect my husband to care for our children if we ever split.
My daughter is 13 and has been doing every other weekend with her dad since she was 5.
Whenever she is sick I do not give her to her dad. Im neurotic when she gets sick (febrile seizures when she was little) and I believe I take better care of her. Also she wants me when she’s sick. My ex has never had a problem with this.
So really it comes down to if the dad cares. She was wrong about the covid stuff and I do believe she should call or text he’s sick if he’s sick at school and you’re picking up.
But do I think you’re the a**hole, no. Do I think this is between him and her, absolutely.
Sick or not his dad’s weekend is his dad’s weekend
YOU don’t get to just cancel his duties as a father because his child is sick
It’s both parents responsibility to take of their kids whether sick or not. She should absolutely disclose if the child is unwell as a common courtesy to everyone is in the house. Especially with covid so you could make arrangements if needed to go somewhere else especially with a weakened immune system. She is not wrong for bringing him to his father but her being so inconsiderate as to not say anything is wrong. Me personally would want my babies home if sick but that’s my preference but as the Child’s father there is no reason he shouldn’t take him because of illness as a father’s job should not be any different than mother’s.
I only read the read the first few sentences but yes she should tell you should you not take kid cuz of it no that’s still yall kid still your time and not their fault their sick
Get your point she should have let you know i also think it’s kinda selfish of you not wanting him around just cause he is sick. A fathers is capable of taking care of a sick child just as much as the mom if not better.
Wth he is dad, he better take his kid when the child is sick
you could’ve caught covid at any point, idk how you pinned it on her solely… I personally would keep my kid if they’re sick, if you have a court order for visitation yall have to have the child there OR she could get contempt charges for interference of visitation if your hubs decided to take it to court…
Well yes you’re the butt hole for thinking he shouldn’t be there if he’s sick, but she’s the butt hole for not communicating that he is ill so y’all can be prepared to take care of him. It’s not just her responsibility to care for him while he is sick so you need to be more understanding of that. She’s selfish in the aspect that she doesn’t care about your health.
I think you’re right and she’s wrong to knowingly expose others like this.
Personally if my child was sick, I would not make him feel worse by sending him off even if it’s to his dad. Just me being mom. And with a quarantine, that means they stay where they are at. Moms house or dads house it should not matter with a quarantine. The sole purpose is to stop spreading the infection. AND if he’s infected or sick with anything, why would you want to infect others? Common sense.
Lol I’m guessing you dont have kids, parenting don’t stop cause a kid is sick? Also if you are with a man with a child I think you need to step up a little for that kid, package deal chick! DEAL WITH IT like a real parent would if I was this dad I’d be telling YOU to leave on the weekends lol
Good grief if this child had Covid he should’ve quarantined with his mother and not been allowed to spread it, it is no wonder everyone practically either has it or is getting it.
I personally think that she should let y’all know enough in advance if she has knowledge that he is sick so y’all can get the proper medication for him while he’s with y’all
I believe she handled the covid situation wrong. But back then nobody really knew how to handle it. There was a lot of fear & confusion so I can’t really fault her.
As far as you expecting her to keep him with her when he’s sick you’re being ridiculous! He’s your bf son too. That means he parents I’m good & bad times. She doesn’t get stuck with all the bad (school, homework, sick etc) & your husband gets to spend time with him only when things are good. In a perfect situation she should’ve informed your bf he was sick just to give him a heads up. But she probably knew you wouldn’t let your bf have him. I would’ve done the same thing.
Your immune deficiency isn’t her concern. You cant put your problems on her. She is co-parenting with his father. Your issues are for you & your bf to deal with. You sound like an entitled person. You expect everyone else to make changes to their lives to suit you. Sorry life doesn’t work that way. If being around a sick kid is dangerous then you need to have a plan in place for when he’s sick. Your bf should pick him up (not your job anyway), call you & you execute your plan. Expecting your bf & his son to give up their time together & his mom to give up her free time for you is selfish.
Ummm…your boyfriend is his father. It’s just as much his responsibility to care for his sick son as it is the mothers responsibility. If he was to get sick at your house would you keep him there the entire time he was sick? I personally as a mother wouldn’t send a sick kid anywhere, but your argument is that it is her responsibility and that is not accurate.
Sick or not, dad’s weekend is dad’s weekend. Why should mom be solely responsible to care for a sick child? Maybe you can show some kindness and help dad with his sick child and stop complaining! Dad’s ex wife is not the problem in this situation. You actually sound a bit jealous.
It can be hard being with someone who has a child to a previous partner. Can quite often be drama as emotions are high when children are involved. May not be your thing (just yet)
Isabella Teddy Velazquez this sounds familiar.
Well… For one, no telling where the Covid came from… For two, he is still a Dad. For three, I’d be figuring out why he is so sick all time. Give that kid some vitamins. Boost that immune system. And finally five, you walked into this relationship knowing full well this man came with a kid. And be thankful you have a found a man that gets his kid whether he is sick or not.
Communication is a must
Yes. You are a huge a$$hole. Wow.
I understand being worried about catching covid it is scary but as everyone else said he is dad just as much as she is mom dad don’t just get privileges of only getting their child when healthy and only for fun that’s not how parenting works and if you can’t handle that then yes maybe you should take some time to evaluate if this is something you want to continue or leave but do not try to interrupt their time because he sick that’s extremely selfish if anything you should leave. Yes she could’ve gave you guys a heads up but at the end of the day even if she did he still needed to do his part as a parent as well regardless of what needed to be done. Period
I’m a mom with primary physical custody. When my daughter is sick and it’s approaching a visitation weekend, I simply message her bio dad. I explain she is sick and tell him what she has or the symptoms if I’m not 100% sure what it is. Then I leave the choice up to him, either he can take her that weekend, we can switch weekends or he can skip it with make up days over break.
Idk maybe it’s just me but if I was in a situation like that I wouldn’t send my sick kid to the other parents house until the child was better. Not everyone’s immune system can handle being sick. Me personally I wouldn’t want to risk anyone else getting sick so I would let the child’s father know. Sorry you have to deal with that! I would be very annoyed, regardless if it was my bio kid or not. Same goes for people who make play dates who have sick kids. It’s just common sense and respect to keep a sick kid home until they’re better
Dad’s are able to take care of their sick kids as well. Yes, she should inform him if he is sick and then it is up to the dad to decide if he wants to keep his weekend or not or maybe swap weekends. Also, regardless of him being exposed to covid the custody arrangement is still in place. CDC guidelines are not set rules. That’s a one way ticket to contempt of court so I don’t suggest going that route.
I can empathize with you a little bit because Im a germaphobe and it’s hard with kids because they tend to get sick more than adults. That being said, just because the child is sick does not mean the father shouldn’t get his time with him. When I was a kid, I would go to my dads house sick and my dad would take care of me in whatever condition I was in. Lice, stomach virus, cold, strep, etc. That’s what you do when you have kids. If my son was sick I personally wouldn’t want to move him around too much and make him go anywhere if he’s not feeling well, but the parenting plan needs to be followed. I’m not going to call you an asshole, I just think you didn’t quite understand what you were getting yourself into when you decided to be with someone who has a child.
He’s just as much a parent as she is.
Ummm soo… because yr man’s son is sick u think it’s ok to pick n choose when he can parent. Or to put it in different words…u want him to visit only when he’s well n healthy…that’s not how parenting works at all. U buy that kid all the meds he needs…get him a good soup… put towels on his head to break the fever …you know…the stuff parents do for their kids when their sick
You are perceiving the dad as though he is a daycare or babysitter, who would not take a sick child. He isn’t. He is the PARENT. If a child is sick the parent doesn’t get to say no thank you, they still need to parent
Lmfaooo are you serious? Your “boyfriend” is the FATHER of that kid & has every right to take care of his sick son as well. Why should only the mom take care of the child when hes sick?
This is delusional and I hope my children’s father never dates somebody like this. If this is how you feel, date a man with no children.
She should’ve at least given a heads up! That way you have what he will need at your house (Gatorade, meds…etc) She and the daddy def need to communicate better
She should definitely be better at communicating BUT your boyfriend is a dad whether or not the child is sick or healthy!!! Part of being a parent! Get used to it
I think which ever parent had the child while he got sick should keep him until he is better and than make up lost time. Why send a sick child to another house hold who didn’t come in contact with the sickness and risk their house hold. Same if he ended up sick at dads house… dad should keep him until better. I don’t think either are assholes. You don’t want to get your house hold sick. And Mom prolly went to mention it but totally forgot.
Yes the situation may suck but he is not your son even if you think he is as you stated (bonus son). Yes she probably shouldn’t be sending her son around to other houses knowing he has Covid, but he is not your son so unfortunately it’s really none of your business. When it comes to your boyfriend’s son that is between him and his ex wife. Covid or not he is his dad he can’t just stop being dad because you are afraid to get sick. I am sorry I know I am being blunt but it’s true this is a situation that needs to be handled between mom and dad not mom dad and girlfriend.
Kids WANT to be home with mom when they are sick … I do know Dads who want kids even if they are sick.
Your husband needs to communicate nicely with her that he does not mind if on his weekend the boy is sick and stays home with Mom <3
So you only want your boyfriends kid when he is healthy? And feel the mother should just drop everything to take care of him until he is ok?? Bad on her part to not comunicate it but i feel a big family talk should happen
Ok some of you are rude. I feel like she’s trying to only say the mom should let them know when he’s sick so when the get him they know how to handle it. As for covid he shouldn’t have gone back and forth cause that was only spreading it more. I don’t see a problem in her concern for wanting to know.
He’s a parent… It’s not just one parent or the others “job” to have to handle a sick kid. It should’ve been communicated so you had a heads up to be prepared with anything a sick kid may need but it was still his weekends sooo it would be shitty to say nahh sorry see you a few weeks from now
She needs to communicate properly and inform him when the son is sick, but he is still responsible for caring for a sick kid. Parenting doesn’t just shut off for dads because the kids sick…
The whole covid situation / isolating part is a bit different and needs to be handled carefully but as for just puking or flu /colds … DAD CAN STILL PARENT.
Get over it. He is a father FIRST and your boyfriend SECOND
What makes you think it’s only her job to care for him when he’s sick? That an incredibly unfair way to parent. His dad (and you because you chose to be with him) are just as much responsible for taking care of him sick or not.
So his dad only has to care for him when he’s healthy?? You are way in the wrong here sorry.His mom isn’t forced to do 100% of the sick care because her child’s fathers girlfriend has a bad immune system.
Parenting is parenting. Whether sick or not sick. Mom’s turn to relax while y’all have the sick kid and take care of him.
No mom considers it having to “deal with a sick kid” you need to take a step back and rethink that bonus mom title you’ve given yourself.
Ok, if you are SEVERELY immunocompromised, the Mom should tell DAD when son is sick/contagious and Dad should tell YOU so YOU can move out of the house for the duration to protect your health.
And I’m confused as to why no one picked up the child from school right away when informed he was ill unless both parents are working and neither one has access to leave, or it takes so long to get to his school that neither parent could get there before the end of the school day.
But that’s the thing about kids. Babies especially will vomit, pee, poop, sneeze, cough and drool all over you, and that’s just part of the job. If you’re not up for that, don’t be around kids.
The only problem I see is biomom not informing dad and stepmom the child is sick before pick up, dad needs to talk to her about that. It is not hard to keep from spreading illnesses with common sense. Although when the boy should have been quarantined for COVID he should not have traveled to dads. If you want to get nasty take her to court for purposely spreading covid to you, but that is petty.
She should of informed you, yes. But, when my children are sick, they want and need both of us/parents. If she was sick (I was with covid) she probably didn’t even have the strength to tell you or to take care of him and the best thing for him was to be with two capable healthy adults. Sorry about your immune system, they have take home tests you can test him and go stay at a hotel if he’s Ill or with family or friends. There’s always another way.
I honestly wouldnt send my son is write it out as hey “…” is really sick at the moment I think I’m gonna keep him home to keep an eye on him etc I couldn’t sent my kid sick I’d worry to much
The covid parts is understandable because yes he should have quarantined with his mother, but any other illnesses no his father I’m assuming is quite capable of looking after him. No it’s not fun looking after a poorly child but why should one parent do all the caring of the sick child when both parents are completely involved. As a single mum like myself who is the sole caregiver to my 4 year old child has to do all the caring when my child is poorly and believe me it is exhausting. So if you don’t want to be around a sick child then you might want to date someone who doesn’t have kids
Ummmm okay cruella,
Dads can watch sick kids too. The whole Covid thing I understand where you’re coming from! But anything else, dad can also handle.
The Covid part is sketchy but a far as a sick kid his dad is just as capable as mom to care for him. Is they weren’t split he couldn’t send his son away when he is sick🤷🏼♀️.
My oldest always magically is sick when he’s home with me rather than when he hours to his dad’s. But I’m also the one who will switch days so he can be home here sick and comfy rather than have to go to his dads. But there is really no reason dad can’t care for him when he’s ill.
Parents still have to parent sick kids. Yeah it sucks. But dad doesn’t just get him on good days.
No the child should not just stay home at his moms because he’s sick. Your boyfriend is his father so sick or not it’s his job to care for his soon and you took that on as the dads girlfriend… but yes she is in the wrong for not communicating about him being sick so you can prepare to make sure the boy has the things he needs to get well