My bf and I have a 9yr old daughter. We were not a couple in her early years of life, but we are now. We’ve been living together as a family for the past 3yrs, and all of us couldn’t be happier. Since we’ve been together (3yrs), my bf and I have been trying to have another baby. We were starting to feel like failures until it finally happened…I’m pregnant! But when I went to tell him, he freaked out. And is now questioning whether we should go thru with having the baby. I’m totally devastated. When we first got back together, it was HIM that insisted we have another baby, not me. I was very fine with just having our one child being that she’s already getting too old for any potential new child to be a real playmate for her anyways. But I did everything I could to get pregnant FOR HIM. Idk what to think now. He says I can keep the baby if I want to have it, but I know he’s not thrilled about having the baby at all. I’m heartbroken by his sudden change in heart now that I’m actually pregnant. He knows I want to keep it, and I know he doesn’t. And now we are barely speaking to each other. Idk how we can get past this…?
The cycle continues. You said in your early years you were not a couple but now you are.
Girl you were wrong to take his advice to get another .Well the child will be here so deal with it . Get your child with or without him .Let that little boy go .He is into games and you have a child on the way and a little one that needs her mom .Be the one issuing ultimatums . He can stay or go .
He probably has a lokey side chick. Too bad because the baby exist in your body. Neither of you defended yourselfs of pregnancy. Because you’re pregnant, you owe it to yourself and your kids to take care of yourself. Your daughter is old enough to help out with the baby which she’ll probably enjoy. After your husband sees that you’re moving on without him, he’ll fall in line too.
Ok so he is some one who would plan a baby, then want to kill it? That should tell you everything you need to know. I’m so sorry. What an aweful position to be put in!
You need to raise that baby with or without him. He’s acting like a child and he needs to either fall in line and act right or move the hell on. Also, side note and personal opinion, if you’re committed enough to have a baby and live together you should be committed enough to be married first.
All children are a gift. Accept your blessing and be grateful. Im sure you can’t imagine life without your daughter. You will feel the same about this LIFE TOO.
I doubt he likes you as much as you like him… Your chest pains will be forever
Enjoy your pregnancy and the new life inside of you, dont let him ruin it, if he dont like it, he can leave, his loss
You both need to be communicating & ask him what changed. He should’ve told you he was on the fence about another child so you have could taken birth control. This child IS coming & was PLANNED. The BEST blessing you could ever have is a child (as you already know). Just the 2 of you go out for dinner and talk it out like adults. A child is not an option…having sex was & you both PLANNED this.
Your baby is a blessing most try and wish they could have. Enjoy it. If he a douche drop him…do you.
You need not listen to any of these people and do what’s best for you… Wish you the best of luck.
Its probably just panic and freaking out my husband has never been happy or excited when i first tell him i am pregnant we have been together 8 years. We are currently pregnant with our 3rd and final child and just like always he was not excited but stressed and scared but after a few weeks he always calms down he is never really excited until he can feel the kicks and bond. He is an amazing dad to all 5 of his kids he just gets scared about being a good dad and worried about providing the best life for all of them. Give him some time.
What do you want to do ? A man has no right to tell you he doesn’t want it. It’s your body. He did the deed so What ever you decide , he has no choice but to accept it and whether he chooses to stick around or not is something you’ll have to accept whatever way it goes down. Just make sure you have enough love to love that baby whether the dad is there or not
Your boyfriend is unstable and unless you have a license you are not qualified to treat him. Get him out of your life he doesn’t deserve any children. Being wishy-washy about children just isn’t an option it’s not like being unable to make up your mind over what to have for dinner. Your children come first always and they are your first priority.
Keep your baby, with or without him
I would recommend waiting until the right time then reading your post to him. Ya gotta be honest. It’s the only way… regardless how it ends. And congrats!
Don’t put up with indecisive shit. Put that foot down, he signed up to
Do what you feel is right. And ignore the marriage nazis. If he won’t accept the baby then that means you have a huge decision to make. It could take him a little time. Talk to him and tell him how the way he’s acting is making you feel. If he truly cares you will be able to tell then. Good luck.
What a selfish, immature man…wow! I would get away from him and have my baby.
I was told me once don’t have a baby if you can’t take care of it yourself. She wasn’t helping me and he can up and leave whenever he wants. So if you can’t do it by yourself dont do it at all. The choice is yours. Just make sure he take care of his child since he help make it. Like Steve Harvey said if he want it or not it’s still his child so he has to take car of it. he can take care of them himself or the government will take child support.
The reason for this is that , his with another woman and the baby just ruined his plan of leaving you ! I’m sorry if this is harsh but it appears to be true , he thought you wouldn’t get pregnant and has a side chick definitely
Hello to all the mum in the world , Giving a big thank you to Dr Ehis for helping me with some herbal medicine for getting pregnant after 5 years trying to conceive and took in thank you once again for helping me you can inbox him +2348062425654 call on this number ,I also give my friend the number in UK and she inbox him on the number and he help her by sending herbal medicine to her through DHL courier company and she received the herbs through DHL and the Dr Ehis told her how to use it , she is mother today by twins baby girls please contact Dr Ehis on the number WhatsApp or call +2348062425654:baby: helps in
Unblock fallopian tube
Hello viewers am eveny . I want to testify to you all how my Fibroid was cured by Dr Ehis I have be suffering from Fibroid since 2016, I was told by my doctor that there’s no possible cure for Fibroid except operation. I started taking my Drugs not until I saw a lot of testimonial about a professional Herbal doctor on how he uses herbal medicine to cure Fibroid .I contacted him and told him my problems, He sent me the herbal medicine and I took it for 14 days after then I went for check-up and I was cured.The medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT, there’s no special diet when taking the medicine.He also cure ALS, HEPATITIS , CANCER, HERPES, DIABETES, PREGNANCY ISSUES,HIV/AIDS, SKIN EFECTION and lots more you can reach him on call/ Whatsapp +2348062425654
What if the behaviour is a pattern? You say that you were not together the first 6yrs of your first child’s life. He ghosted and came back when it was convenient. He could be preparing to do the same this time around. The question is are you wiling to live with someone who’s loyalty and commitment is in question? Someone with no sense of responsibility and takes your life as a guinea pig for immature trials? You owe yourself and your kid(s) a stable and loving home and mindset. You cant have that if you keep worrying whether he is there or not. Whatever happens keep God first. Pray for wisdom, grace and strength for this moment and onwards…
Time and communication.
Sounds like he’s got problems and you need to ask him what is wrong with him why he feels like that
Sounds like he needs to go.
Maybe he just doesnt know how to express that now that the baby is reality hes kindof scared amd nervous maybe. I hope thats the case for you guys and will be happy once he sees baby on ultrasound and when baby is born.
Alot of things can come into play with this. Maybe it’s not about the baby at all and it’s about financial stability atm. Men can get scared and get cold feet too. Communication needs to happen. You both need eachother right now so talk and work as a team. Good luck.
You didn’t get pregnant all by yourself
You get back together and everything is great and there’s talk of babies and then there’s the downfall that was coming all along. Red flags have been there, you’ve just ignored them. I’ve seen this far too many times. Find a man who appreciates you because he clearly doesn’t. You’re either all in or all out for me, I’m not anybody’s part time. Stop letting a “new feeling” trick you into believing something is right for you when you already know it isn’t.
He sounds like a horse’s ass. Throw out the whole man.
My husband didnt wany any of our two kids but the first second he held her (im pregnancy with #2) all that doubt went away
Maybe he got scared
Its natural for men to get upset when they realize that they have a new baby coming
Try talk to him or both of you talk to each other
And I know you probably are not in a good place to hear something like that but maybe if you guys talk it out
You both have up to 9 months to figure out and see if he has a change of heart again
I hope best for you and a healthy pregnancy
Put the big girl panties on & tell him this is how it’s going to be…your way. He can either agree or leave. If he leaves, he showed you his true colors , And it’s better now than later on in life. Good luck
He chose this. He needs to follow through.
He’ll get over once the baby is here. Or he won’t,but it’s my opinion you don’t try n get pregnant then once you get pregnant change your mind and have a abortion that’s not right. People will probably get mad I said it but it’s my opinion on the situation
There are a lot of reasons for this but you guys should sit down and communicate about why the change occurred. Tbh my first thought is that he’s no longer sure about his future with you the way he was when you first discussed it.
I’m so sorry. I HOPE he comes around sooner rather than later.
I guess he should’ve let you know that a baby was no longer in the plans! He is being inconsiderate and disrespectful at the least!
No matter what choose that baby over some man
You need to sit down, talk it out, and get on the same page. Either that or it’s going to damage your relationship and you may end up a single parent.
Get rid of him. That sounds VERY deceitful in my opinion. I wouldn’t trust him ONE BIT after he did that. No trust, no relationship.
If u can afford all the expenses then keep the baby thats your baby.you will be more happier later when both will grew up.lucky you😊
Hmm sounds like he needs to grow up. Liked the idea of the “trying” and now it’s real, he doesn’t like it. Good luck, keep the baby if if you have to raise it on your own …but make sure you get maintenance. He made the baby, he needs to take responsibility and pay if not anything else.
You will hate yourself if you listen to him and not your gut. Do what will make YOU happy, you’re the one that has to live your life. Not him.
He got u pregnant he stays parents or he leaves and child support pick one
Sounds like your bf needs a talking to by a real father! Boys need to grow the fuck up
He sounds very immature. You may have to kick him to the curb and get child
Support. You need someone who loves and respects you.
Your body. Your choice. Xx
He may just be scared.
And this is why if he don’t wanna marry your ass after the first kid you don’t have more. It’s a hell of a lot easier to walk away from a gf than it is from a marriage. Why you think the gays fought so hard? It wasn’t just for the weddings, ladies!
It sounds like pregnancy depression. Yes I made that entirely up and it affects men and women for sure.
My husband shit his britches when we found out we were pregnant and was so against wanting to keep it but eventually after seeing it, getting tiny clothes, and seeing how inexpensive raising a newborn really is, he calmed right down.
Oh, and therapy. Talking through it helped.
Babies don’t fix trash men
Plez don’t have any more children with this immature man! Im so sorry
Trying for a baby from when you got together and doing it for him not for you as a couple, says a lot about the relationship. Ditch the guy and raise your kid(s) loved. If he wants to be involved encourage it, but this guy is no good for you now, nor will he ever be.
I’m sure once the baby arrives he will be very happy. In the mean time maybe some couples counseling would help.
Be Adults! TALK TO EACH OTHER! or get counseling!!!
Hes a nutcase and immature. Having a child is a massive decision…how can someone go hot and cold like that. “He says you can keep it if you want”. What a hateful dictator. Run.
I’m sure he will come around and maybe he’s just scared to bring a baby into the world with everything that’s going on right now. I know my husband had reservations when we got pregnant
Your choice in men is not the baby’s fault .
Have your precious baby. A man can be replaced, your child cannot
He just needs some time to process it. Just give him time and dont stress mama.
Keep your baby. A child is a give from God. And pray for him that if he is the will of God for you let him do what is right and if he is not God’s will let there be a separation between you guys. Keep your baby ,that child has no fault
This is your precious baby no man can take the place of your children at least it will have a loving mother put you and your babies first he’s not worth stressing out over
You made that choice as well when you laid down and had sex don’t try and put this all on him anyways I’m sure he’ll get over it once it’s born
Does he know it doesn’t work that way?
This just don’t make no freakin since you both were trying to have a baby than you get pregnant and he doesn’t want one well than if he don’t than he should go on his merry mf way babies are a blessing period chose your child over a mf man your child is what’s important I’ll never understand why woman put up with this kinda shit from men I try to be understanding and feel bad but sometimes it’s yall woman’s fault who put up with this kinda crap from pos men to not trying to be rude but it’s true I hear about woman complaining about oh my man does this or that well your putting up with it but in the end your unborn child is more important and should come first so I hope you chose your child
i think u shouldnt have been trying to get pregnant for HIM.
i think now that ur prego u should choose what YOU want.
i got pregnant and my husband wanted a baby but this was a surprise BUT he still let me choose. abortion or having it. honestly i love him even more now that he LET me be MY choice because i decided keep it and now were super happy and this baby is something we BOTH want.
do what YOU WANT. have an abortion or keep it. but dont do ANYTHING FOR HIM.
Your 9 year old daughter will be overjoyed with a new baby…Your boyfriend will be too when the time comes and if he doesn’t he has something to hide.
Have the baby & don’t stress about whether or not HE wants the baby. That’s his problem. He’s a stupid jackass & will eventually realise he is.
I would question why it took 6 years to get together after your daughter was born. And he sounds immature and controlling, all red flags to me.
This is another life we are talking about… you both laid down to make it… he can’t just pick and choose when he wants it… have your baby and if he is not interested then why would you want to be with a man like that anyways. Like a lot of the girls have said on here… it might just be nerves
Is it about money? College tuition for TWO kids?Responsibilities for the rest of his life? What is he afraid of? You’ll probably need to get professional counseling as men hate to show “weakness,” but he is clearly scared of something.
My ex was opposed to children and upset I was pregnant, but then changed his mind once there was a sonogram and became so excited to be a dad & 30 years later is still crazy about his kids (we had TWO surprises).
Do you work outside the home or contribute to the finances? Maybe put together a budget to see how it will all work out to set his mind at ease. Does he have hopes for the future that will be more difficult or impossible with another mouth to feed?
Bin him and keep your baby
A child is a gift from God, keep your baby. And just pray for your Bf and he will change
Give it some time. Maybe since it took so long, he had reconciled that it wouldn’t happen. Maybe he’s also confused because you’ve made it clear you didn’t want another child. But, I hope you take some time and think about the statement you made saying you got pregnant for him. If a couple is actively trying to have a child, it should be something both want. Babies are not pawns to keep your partner happy. It’s a lifelong commitment and needs serious consideration.
Have the baby, keep the baby! He’s probably just going through a faze. He will most likely have a change of heart when baby arrives. I’m curious how old y’all are but it really doesn’t matter.
I can help with an age thing… I was 12 with one of my brothers and 15 with the other … It creates a strong bond cause she can help so much ! (I babysat all the time because my mom worked … ) but I think the age has not much to do with it until they are way older like when she leaves for college … or leave the house I should say !
I can’t even fathom the selfishness of someone who willingly decides to create a child only to CHANGE THEIR MIND after the child is created like it’s changing paint colors. That poor baby.
Its ok for men to freak out just like women do. He will come around just give him his space.
If you want the baby, have it. Sometimes men just have a momentary freak out when they realize it’s actually happening but then come around either later in the pregnancy or after the baby is born.
My advice Moving forward stop doing stuff for someone else’s happiness, ppl can be selfish. U sound very excited to have another blessing.
If it makes you feel any better, my fiancee absolutely freaked when we found out I was pregnant. Like, went back to Alaska for another year after he promised he wouldnt, leaving me alone for the duration of my pregnancy as well as pretty much the first year of our son’s life. He loves our kids, and didnt realize the ramifications of his actions at the time. He deeply regrets it now
I say f him! Have that baby, your daughter could be a lot of help and it could help your relationship with her and just focus on your babies!! Create a loving family and if he doesn’t want a part of that then he can kick rocks
Just give him time and he will probably come around, my friend got pregnant when they decided no more, her man wasn’t thrilled through the pregnancy but now the baby has him wrapped around her little fingers
You got pregnant for him??? Who says that and who does that. Have a baby because you want one and are mature and responsible enough to know that a child will need a loving family and if you don’t even have a stable relationship why would you risk a baby coming into the world to suffer. He sounds like a dick btw. I say have the baby but you should choose your partner more wisely …
I believe these guys are jealous of the time you will have to spend with the baby and all the get up and stay up, lack of sleep etc. they don’t deserve you women or the kids.
He sounds like a douchebag. I assume he’s in his mid 20’s at least being you have a 9 year old, and at that age he should be more mature and clear on his intentions and desires. He should be more responsible, not making you feel guilty if you go through with the pregnancy. This is what he wanted and he can’t just change his mind last minute! It’s about having a human baby, not adopting a damn puppy! It’s not something to take lightly.
If he truly loves you, everything will be okay. Give it some days, don’t ask him about it every day. And pray for him.
If only one person puts in the work, it isn’t going to work fyi… If you both can’t put each others NEEDS (not wants) first it won’t work… I’ve been there. It took my daughter having heart problems when she was born for my husband to stop being selfish… (That was my situation though)
Well firstly dont have babies for men who weren’t around the first time or even for someone else. Understand that you are describing a man that if he would do that to you and put you through all that, you should be questioning if hes even a good dude and if you even want to spend your life with someone like that. That being said you both chose this so take care of the baby.
Too late!!! Child support exists for men like this that made the child but don’t want to step up after find a real Man!
If you’re financially stable, go thru with it!!! Money provides for a child, not a man … you can do it on your own mama !!! Another man will pick you up and treat the baby like his own
Im sorry you dont Have his support now but be
Strong and pray for strength for yourself and the beautiful life growing inside of you !!! If he continues to be unwilling to accept your baby then do whats best you and your baby (and older daughter ) there are
Many support groups for women and you may reach out to your local church or OB Dr office … also baby pantry’s at many churches too and Health
Get rid of him, he seems like a d!(khead, if you stay with him - it sounds like it’ll be 1 thing or another 🤷
As for keeping the baby, you need to sit back & ask yourself things like: how do you think you’ll cope on your own? Coz even if you stick with him, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to be any help anyway 🤷😪
You said you guys werent together in your daughters early years, so really this is kind of new to him. Hes “first time” dad freaked out. Give it time and he will get over it.
My children are almost 8 years apart and they have they best relationship.
Give him time. Hopefully the further along you get the more he will get excited. Maybe he has other stress going on and feels like y’all can’t make it work . I would have a sit down talk with him and go ahead and get it out in the open
You keep your baby if that’s what you want don’t let nobody else talk you into doing something you don’t want to do
You carry ur baby my dear. God has given u another blessing. He will see u through.
Hate when some men behave like them have split personality. Smh.