Been in a relationship for three years now, and we share a baby together, and my bf lives with me. I recently noticed him always giving his mama money (she is married and has a job better off then we are). I knew from the start he’s a huge mama’s boy but didn’t realize how bad. He buys her clothes shoes anything she asks for. She will even say things like I’m broke or I need this knowing he’ll go get and give whatever she wants. So after three years, I finally told him how I felt about it. That I didn’t think it was right, and his priorities are his daughter and me. Now he’s ignoring me in my own house. Won’t help me without baby, the little things he uses to do like getting bottles read throwing away diapers he stopped doing it. Was I wrong for telling him how I felt? And am I wrong that it bothers me that he is like this with his mom?
Honnestly send him back to his mum’s .
Agree with you 110%. He is acting childish!
Make him get out and then he can pay you child support then he wont be able to give his mom money because he will be supporting his child. xoxo
Wow he’s a huge man child. Tell him to go be with his mommy if he wants to act like a child.
If he wants to act like a child, treat him like one. Leave until he’s done pouting 
even if it’s for the night.
Tell him to go to Mom’s until he can act right.
Send his back to his mama and see how he will feel paying child support… what a man child!!!
I suppose an important question is whether or not you and your baby were lacking in necessities? Was he buying her things when you were going without? I do agree that it’s a rather odd situation, given that she has steady income of her own but asks her son to provide for her like she’s the child. I don’t think you’re wrong in feeling the way you do. But given that you know how deep rooted their relationship is… meaning his Mama’s boy status… I wonder if it was worth saying anything. If he’s wonderful provider (even with helping with bottles and diapers, like you mentioned) despite his mother, perhaps it’s best to “take it back” and apologize for not having a better understanding.
But if and when that conversation takes place and he’s standing his ground next to his mother- maybe you’ve exposed an issue that would have eventually hit the fan inevitably!
Fuck no you are not wrong. Kick his ass out and make him go be with his momma. If be wants to act like a baby then he better be with his momma.
Nope. Not wrong I wouldn’t put up with that. I mean it is one thing to help mom out if she needs it. This is a whole new level
That’s weird. Does he want to be in a relationship with his mom lol cuz that’s what it sounds like🤣 Tell him to move back in with her…
Send him home to Mom
File child support and kick him out
I follow Dave Ramsey, so naturally it went against everything I was doing since My husband was sending money to family in Jamaica.
Until your married it’s his money. When your married it’s both y’alls money.
If you dont settle it now it’s not a money problem but a relationship problem.
The book boundries might help everyone.
Not wrong at all. Man the things I have said over a mama’s boy. Girl stand ur ground. Next time he wants some tell him to go to his mama to keep him warm.
If he rather take care of his mom rather than you guys then he can move back with her.
I give my mom money (she gets paid only $800 a month) but she always pays us back and i usually always talk to my husband when i do.
I dont see a problem with him giving her money SOMETIMES but not like you said he does.
He will never change. Get out of that relationship now. You will regret it later if you don’t break the ties now. Take this from someone who has been in your shoes.
Even if he disagrees with you he’s acting like a child. He can’t just stop helping with the baby. What if you handed him the baby and left for the day without saying anything. That’s BS. Don’t let him gaslight you
You are correct that you and that baby are his number 1 priority. If she has a job then it’s not his problem she can’t budget…and don’t you dare feel bad for calling him out for this bc he’s being a child.
I hate mothers that live off their child or expect them to take care of them financially for the rest of their lives.
Sounds like momma has an issue with using him
Time to step up or cut bait his focus should be you and the daughter. While commendable that he what’s to help his mom it’s not necessary.
My boyfriend of nearly 10 yrs. Gives his mom and aunts money.
But we have everything we need at home always. Never maybe next week etc
So if he isn’t providing at home then bye boy
He needs to realize he is making a family with you not his mom. leave before its too late
Thats weird…
I can see if she were struggling or something but that doesnt seem to be the case.
If you and the baby aren’t lacking, I don’t see the problem???
Tell him to go live with mommy
I would say as long as he’s providing half for the kid and half for the bills it’s whatever. But if he isn’t… I would dump him, kick him out, and put him get a court order set up for custody / child support
Oh my god girl you better talk to him real good . He’s mamma issues got a go bye !!!
Tell him to pack and go home to mama
Nope. When you make a family of your own they become your priority. If he wants to support Mommy, he can move home with Mommy.
Uhh… Pack his shit and tell him he got 30 days to get tf out.
Ok so I don’t know as long as your needs and the baby’s needs and wants are being met I guess I don’t see the problem? My man takes care of us but he would do anything for his momma and I don’t have a problem with that. I think it’s wonderful. Now, if my children and myself were doing without, it would be a different story. I do have a problem with the way he’s acting towards you. A good relationship doesn’t punish someone for speaking out about something that is bothering them.
If she is married and better off than you guys no he shouldn’t be giving her money. His child comes first.
Does he not normally contribute to the household? How long has he not been? No doubt the child and household should come first and it’s odd but if he takes care of his responsibilities normally it’s his business what else he does although I would tell my son his family is his responsibility and my household mine.
Ha ha No… Nope happening.
Omg sweetheart he is being a child. A pathetic child at that 
He needs to take that selfish immature attitude on outta your life and home to mommy!
My boyfriend was the same!! Paid her car payment and even let her move in with us after saying she had a heart attack but didn’t. I put my foot down and it ended quickly. His reasoning was his mom is his family like me and the baby. He couldn’t understand that the baby and I are his new family not putting his mom on the back burner but he has new priorities. Almost 2 years later he sees how she truly is and he focuses on us now and doesn’t let her manipulate him for money.
If its your house, kick him out. She can live w the mom and just pay child support
Throw the whole man away. If mom has a job and is better off and he’s still giving her money, it’s time to leave. If his mom was struggling, I’d say sure he can give her some money, but if she’s better off then he’s taking away what you guys need to survive. Time to go.
I have a question? What is your ethnic background? I am coming from a cultural place where parents come first no matter what. All my siblings including myself will give my mom money, buy her anything she wants (clothes, food, lotions)… It is actually expected of us. We were raised to believe to take care of the people that took care of us when they become elders. My mom, aunts and uncles did it for my grandparents and I was fortunate enough to see my grandfather do it for my great grandmother. If I were to be with a man in my culture I would have not place (specially not being married. Children or not) to tell him he can’t provide for his mom/parents. Maybe instead of telling him you don’t like it you should have asked why he does it and try to understand if there is a cultural significance to it…
Nah, that’s weird. He’s weird. Mama got room for him in her house?
You are not married and he seems to feel it is his money. Are you working also ? Many questions only you can answer. Do you both contribute to the household ? If so, I would make a budget and determine how much each pays into the budget. Any money left over would be split between you and if he wants to give his money away, Fine.
Tell him to go live with his mother. The family you come from is important sure , but the family you make is number one. They have their own lives. You guys have yours. He’s still on the tit and don’t see it… Sorry for being blunt but just went through this with my so. It takes quite a bit to open their eyes!!
I’d pack his shit up quick and give it to his momma and change the locks when he’s gone and tell him bye fr you’re not married so that’s a plus
I cannot believe he now won’t help you with HIS OWN BABY. This says more about him than anything. Pack his bags and tell him to get the f out if he is going to ignore the baby ffs. Wtf is wrong with him?
No. Its ok to be a momma boy i was until mine passed but if she is better off than yall she should help out. Kids come 1st. No matter what.
My Husband can always take care of his Mama anyway he seems fit but honestly I would do the same for her. I love that sweet lady. What is mine is ours and what is his is ours and what family needs is what family needs. You only get one Mama. My Mama passed and my goodness I wish she was still here so I could spoil her. As long as your households immediate needs are met and he wants to help his Mama or spoil her then honey you let him without making a mess out of it. He’s teaching your baby girl how to treat his Mama… That’s a good Man and good teachings right there.
Definitely weird, sounds like unhealthy relationship to me , is she all up in his business… she needs to be over throwing out diapers and getting bottles ready then. He sounds like a immature boy, better get out now.
I would end it and file child support fuck that shit
He’s too old to still be attached to his mamas titty. That should have been a red flag from the beginning
Are you hurting for money? If not, then there’s no problem with him helping his mom, even if she doesn’t really need it.
My husband use to do this. DROVE ME CRAZY. I under stand if it’s once in a while. She would call and give a sob story.
Seriously. You and the baby should be first. If he can’t help with his own child… maybe it’s time for him to go back to momma.
You aren’t wrong he is. Dump him because that is gaslighting and abusive. 
red flag alert:triangular_flag_on_post:
If he’s still providing stuff that you and the baby needs it’s not really your say. Until your married that’s his money.
First off he’s wrong because that affects the baby mainly!
And no you’re not wrong . He needs to be worried about y’all and stop being under his mom’s titty
Wow I’m a guy and I’d send him packing back to his mama’s house. Make sure you get that child support. You don’t have a man you have a man child with his umbilical cord still attached who is Mother
He’s wrong in how he’s reacting to this. He’s got a lot of growing up to do regarding how he responds to you saying how you feel about XYZ. I saw some solid advice on here a few days ago, let his mother have him 💁
Heck no you’re not wrong. I would’ve said it in front of her also. He’s acting like a little bitch. Send his back to his mommy!! 
Next time he comes home! Take the car keys and leave! Leave the baby behind so he knows what it feels like to be ignored and have a little human depend on you! And as far as the money he gives his mama! Don’t messed with that you never know what she has done for him!
I mean as long as he’s not using diaper money on her or leaving yous broke so he can spoil her just let him. My bf was like that but with his brothers, always lending money which I doubt he ever got back. I said something but then realized I’d do anything to help my siblings (or mom) as well. As long as it isn’t hurting us and our family. The whole not helping you with the baby is childish though. Your daughter didn’t do anything to him.
Half of you would be singing a different tune if it was your son, js. You both are wrong. You should never ever ever come between a mother and son if Its not directly effecting you. He’s wrong for acting like a child. You both have a lot of growing to do. The ego is fueling you, now stop and listen to understand not react.
He should be saving that money for yalls future. His momma is a grown ass woman that needs to take care of herself and spoil her grandbaby not be spoiled by her son.
I would never EVER ask my child for financial help when my ass can go out and get a second job if ends aren’t meeting. And 3 yrs is a long time she’s not just a girlfriend anymore. No one rushes into marriage now days but that doesn’t make it any less important then a marriage. Not all of us want to be on our 3rd husband like some of these women belittling her relationship bc “she don’t have a ring” well shes got his BABY!!! That’s more important then a ring.
Only one mother … take care of your mother and farther
I would tell him your mom wants you to go to her house. When he leave, I’ll change the door lock, and bye bye baby daddy.
Stay at your mom’s.
It will always ultimately be up to him, but just sit down with him and make sure you’re both communicating. One sided conversations don’t go anywhere
I feel like you’re not wrong for voicing your opinion. And he’s wrong for ignoring you afterwards. Parents choose to have kids, parents should take care of kids. Not the other way around. Parents that demand shit from their children or depend on their children for stuff need to grow up. If he wants to ignore you for communicating your feelings then just send him back to mommy 
After 3 years you decide it’s not ok?! You are so wrong. If he was always like that you have no rights to complain now. This relationship is doomed. A mama’s boy will always be a mama’s boy. Next time you meet someone look at them as they are and ask yourself if you can live with that. If the answer is no walk away, because you can rarely change them. With most honest people, what you see is what you get. I would understand if he started doing this after but if he was always a mama’s boy you should have known. He’s never going to pick you over his mom and if you make him he will resent you.
I dont see why this is such a problem. If it’s been happening for three years then it seems like it doesn’t hurt you guy financially. I believe a strong bond between parents and children are a good thing-even if its adult children.
It sounds like a cultural thing to me. And yeah he responded poorly, but I wouldn’t expect him to just say ok, and immediately stop either
If you’re going to leave do it and get established before the baby is here.
It’s his baby too, if he isn’t helping, leave him with her for a bit.
When he moved on with you and had a child with you, the umbilical cord should have been clipped… His mother is the one in the wrong…
- She’s a mother and has her own man and money.
- She wouldn’t take that shit from her man.
- She’s taking money (knowingly) away from her own grandchild.
- She’s doing it because she knows she can and has no respect for you, if she did, she would never do this.
You’re not in the wrong because it even says in the bible that when a man takes a wife she becomes his priority and responsibility.
He’s wrong but at the same time if his mother needed the money it’s nice to know that he would take care of her and hopefully will instill that same value in his(your) child… He’s wrong because as one comment earlier stated he’s gaslighting you because he don’t like what you said it how you feel, and that is a form of abuse…
I’ll probably get slammed for this but I totally agree with you!!!
Getting her son to buy her things is literally taking food from your babies mouth and clothes from their back!
If his mum needed food or heating I could understand as I’d never let my mum go without, but she’s financially better off than you so she can buy her own things!
And as for him ignoring you and your child, I’d be livid! It sounds like you’re a single parent to two children, with your partner acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum! How can any parent ignore child?
I will choose my parents every time. No man is worth to me what they are. 🤷. Many people feel the same way, because at the end of the day… I know beyond all doubt they’re the ones that will have my back when it comes to a hard decision. Especially bringing it up years later.
As long as you and the babys needs are met and are not struggling I dont see a problem with it. It could be worse…at least hes not using the money for drugs or anything…hes just helping his mom. As long as you and the baby are being taken care of I wouldnt worry about it
If his mother has a job and is better off than u are why his he paying for her, buy her a dinner or coffee some times get her a little gift yeah I’m sure she has done alot for him through his life but she’s his mom, it’s ours job to do anything for our kids she should be letting him go now he has a family she has a husband get him to buy her everything, I mean if he was doing it because he wanted to treat her sometimes and she did same back for you as a family then that’s a normal thing in my family we help each other, but if he’s constantly spending on her and you don’t make as much as she does then that isn’t right, u live together married or not money coming into the house should be equal between u, all bills first and then if there’s spare save it u don’t know what will happen down the line, having a nest egg is a better idea than buying luxuries for his mother who has her own job and money the mother needs to stop and your partner need to grow a pair and tell her she can buy her own with her money because he has a child who needs stuff.
It’s his mother! 
I think you’re being incredibly selfish.
If I was in that situation I would tell him he can go live with her. 
I get it if he wants to take her out to dinner and get her a gift every once in awhile, but his little family he has made should come first. If she has a job and a husband she should be taking care of herself or asking her husband. That money could go towards your child’s future and needs. Tell him how you feel again and if he doesn’t change then start thinking about you and your daughter.
Maybe should have worded it differently? If I said something like that to my husband he would go on the defense too cos it sounds more like I’m just bossing him about? Do you no the definite reason of why he treats her so much? He could owe her money? Be feeling bad? If I sat down with him and said something like Hey I think it’s really sweet you and your mum are close and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that but I noticed that…etc etc and ask him rather than tell him what he should be doing? Each to their own but yer xxx
I think it’s rong yes if she earns more and has a husband would be diff if she really needed the help the odd gift I would say is OK but apart from that I would tell him family is important but the one u made and created with me is more importantx
How pathetic are you and those who agreeing with you…he knows you fr 3 years…3 FUCKING YEARS…and you think you’ll take his moms place…the shit you’re doing fr your kid his mother did 10 times more fr him…mamas boy??? Are you fucking kidding me…his priority is you, his daughter and his parents equally…no wonder you westerns throw your parents in nursing homes to die…because they no longer became your priority…my brothers both work and financially support their wives kids and mother…even though the wife makes money and my mum makes money but he STILL does it…guess what??? The respect his wife gives him is huge…wanna know if a man will be a good husband look at how he treats his sisters and his mom.
You so pathetic
From experience, don’t try to battle with a mama’s boy. He will always choose her, no matter what. And if she doesn’t like you, you’re toast.
If its financially a burden to you & your child then he’s in the wrong. You 2 should come 1st.
Does anybody here think it would of been better to speak to the mother one to one, and say, I’m glad you have a devoted son, this I believe he will be a devoted husband, but do you think it is right to take money and ask for things, knowing he has other responsibilities, and we should be saving for the future, I’m happy to present you on special occasions, and if you were ever stuck for money, we would be the first to help,
How do you think the mom would of taken that ?
Kick him to the curb. You will always be competing with momma for what should be yours.
He needs to grow up and communicate with you. I suggest sitting down with him and try talking about everything.
Fuck that tell him to go back to his mams if he wants to be a kid
mammas boy he will be forever…either learn to accept it and live with it or move on and find a man that will be there for you and your child…
I would leave him.
I mean, if she needed food or something it would be one thing. Gifts for holidays and birthdays and an occasional lunch is another. However, this sounds like something completely different.
His priority should be with his daughter and you.
Oh, and ladies, dont jump my case on this. I am a HUGE Momma’s girl. Like… omg… but if shes fine I dont need to buy her every little thing she
wants. She can get it or wait for christmas or a birthday or something like that.
Oh, and he is acting like trash for not helping out with the baby after a serious conversation. Dump his ass.
I have delt with this with my husband even after we were married she lives with us still and previousley he would side with her about everything, after a lot of communication and talking and me voicing how it made me feel he now puts me 1st our kids 2ed and his mom 3rd
A daughter is a daughter all of his life. A son is a son til he takes a wife (ie starts a family). Stop doing anything for him and let him see how it feels since he wants to be a baby.
Oh heck No …I’m sorry but it Should always be his family you and his daughter over his mother it is one thing if he has extra money to help or would like to buy his Mother a gift for her birthday or Mother’s Day but to do more for his Mother than the Mother of his child and his child then he is truly got his priorities wrong
I can see your point and I Definitely don’t think him being petty is beneficial. So long as his daughter doesn’t go without then if he wants to give his mom all his money that’s on him. He owes you nothing. At the Same time that’s not a man I’d marry unless he makes good money. Not bc I’m a gold digger but bc I invest in my and my kids future. If I can’t afford to put money in their savings accounts then I don’t have money to give anyone certainly not a parent who is well off. I give my mother money all the time but she works hard, raises my niece and needs help sometimes. She’s helped me too. I do think that If marriage is on the table then this discussion needs to be had no. Finances can make or break a relationship.
No, you are not wrong. The mother should not ask him for money. His priority is you and your child. He sounds extremely immature. He is not contributing anything to your household, to the child, or to you. He needs to go. Tell him he can go live with his mother and pay her bills.
Not wrong at all! Was married to that. Not the money issue but still being attached to his mother’s apron strings. Get out. You’ll be better off. You deserve better. I can speak from experience, you’ll be happier on your own than feeling like you are always playing second fiddle, because in his mind, that’s all you’ll ever be.
He has no obligation to you, your just a girlfriend. Girlfriends come and go with or without a child. As long as he is taking care of his baby and the household financially what he does with the rest of his money is his choice.
Hell no you are not wrong! He has a child to support, and shame on his momma for asking him for money knowing that he has a little one to take care of
Um he needs to help u take care of his child, not his mom! Ur NOT wrong!