Hell no. You’re right.
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Parents shouldn’t take advantage of their adult kids, especially those with families of their own already. I’m sure she does it to control him. One thing is being in need and being there for them and another is asking just because they want to establish dominance.
No you weren’t wrong for saying something, not at all. This is an abusers way of avoiding being held accountable for their actions and making sure you don’t try to do it again.
Personally I say kick him out. He wants to be a mamas boy let her have him. You have one child you don’t need to raise another and if he’s not going to step up and be the man you and your child need then he’s dead weight, get rid of him.
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For me it would depend if we’re well off and have enough money to spare or he’s parents had some financial problems and needed it more than us at the moment than it wouldn’t bother me. But if we need that money and he’s giving it away to mommy who has more money than us I’d definitely be upset about it. He’s first priority now should be his child and wife.
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Emotional incest. Mama boys don’t change.
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Tell him to marry his mother if he wants her happiness over yours
No u aren’t. He needs to provide in his house first then if he can provide for his mom, or from what I read spoil his mom. If his parents or mom need the help I would feel awesome having such a great person, but if it’s mostly spending money then make sure ur home is taken care of and more motherfucker.
Put him out,let him go back to his mom
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The fact that she is not hurting for money makes it very weird. Also his IMMATURE reaction by not helping with his baby is NOT NORMAL. When 2 people live together and share a child, you both have a say where that money goes. What about savings, child care, emergency funds…what is wrong w his Mother?? She should want that money to go towards more important things like her grandchild. She sounds like trash. Selfish bitch to be blunt. If you 2 cant get on the same page and he can’t grow up, it may be time to rethink this relationship. Finances are a major reason for marital problems…if it’s a problem now, it will be later.
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My biggest problem here is that he stopped helping with the child. If that’s how he acts towards the child and you when explained how you feel, that’s a huge red flag and for me cause to reevaluate the situation and probably cut the ties since obviously the cord is still attached.
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Sounds like mom does it because she can and she knows he will give her what she wants is he spending the same money on you and buying you things also or are you jealous of mom ? If he is not taking care of you and the child and buying you thing and the baby stuff he would have been gone and for him to be petty and stop helping out with his own child ? 
Trust me it will not get better. This is who he is, don’t expect him to change, especially since his idea of dealing with the situation is the silent treatment and not doing things for his child. If you can’t communicate your feelings and have an adult convo with him nothing will change. Hate to say it but you will continue to deal with this if you accept it.
If he wont sit down with you and have a serious discussion about how you’re feeling and his point of view so yall can work threw it like grown adults. Throw out the whole man and start over.
Um. RUN! Him and his mother obviously have a toxic relationship and she’s obviously competing with you. If he cannot see what’s wrong with this picture and being passive aggressive about it then there is no way to fix this!
I would have said it in a much respectful manner but if he is willing to hurt his daughter over his I’m then forget it.
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If it doesn’t take from you and the baby and makes him happy let him do it. There are far more important things to concentrate on as a mom. You can only hope your child cares as much for your happiness as he obviously does for his mother
the family you create takes priority over the family you came from. period. end of discussion.
He loves his mom leave the boy alone
Ask him if hes ready to ask momma to help out with child support.
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Sounds to me like you are the first person to point this odd behavior out an he has no clue how to deal with it. Him acting like a child towards you and your child is the exact thing his mom dose to him to get what she wants. It is a learned behavior for sure. However you could try and talk to him again an not get mad be calm and explain how what he is doing to you and the baby is the same exact thing his mom dose to him to get what she wants. If he isn’t willing to except what he is doing to you an baby an what his mom is doing then he never will. Every relationship has issues. If ya throw every man out that dose something you don’t like then you will never be happy. Try an talk about it again give him a chance to understand that what’s going on is wrong. If he still wants to act like a child then give him 2 options shit changes or you go back home to your mom. Best of luck
You weren’t wrong 
She clearly has no gauge for healthy boundaries.
There’s a saying in Spanish that says “primero mis dientes, y luego mis parientes” that literally translates to “first my own teeth and then my kin.” The idea is basically like when we ride an airplane-- we are told that if we are traveling with children, we need to put a mask on ourselves first. He needs to contribute to his home and ow. Family first before he can give money away like nothing.
I hate to say it, but if he’s throwing that kind of tantrum right now and it’s been going on for years, it’s never going to change and you and your baby will always get the ahitty end of the stick.
You’re either going to have to accept that this will always be your reality or run while you can and qhile your baby is this young.
Carolyn Marie Strickland
I feel like you’re in the right but some men can’t replace their mama. My husband was like that when we has dating me with her and his whole family. Always giving money even if it was for dumb things. Helped her out a lot and when we got married he kind of stopped. He would if she really needed it and I’d approve but he’s really all about me and the kids now
I think that’s it’s fine for him to help out his mom or even if she’s doesn’t need help to give her the things she asks for because she raised him and kept him safe all of her life so it’s time for him to give back … you have a child of your own and if you ever ask them for something and they don’t provide it for you I think u would kind of be upset or disappointed … go talk to him again and tell him you didn’t mean to sound harsh and give your reasoning you feel that way … I hope it all works out 
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Maybe there is more to the story. Does he owe her money from something in the past? Maybe ask him why he does it… back pay, kindness out of his heart, being manipulated, kiss ass… I would kindly ask more questions so you guys are on the same page.
He loves his mom leave the boy alone? Hell na. The poster stated that his mother is doing better than them. To me that indicates the money being spent on shoes, clothes, etc… could be going to things for the baby, or idk, helping with bills? It’s not even his house, she said it’s hers? Is he helping you pay for it? I don’t want to assume but if he’s just living in a house you pay for, not helping and giving his momma money, I’d be out 
even if he is helping, the hell? Ok, buying her a gift here and there is COOL and all but in this post it sounds like she KNOWS he will buy whatever she asks for and purposefully brings it up with that in mind. Nope nope nope. I don’t think you’re being over dramatic or anything of the sort and you let it go on for THREE years? Sounds like momma needs to grow the hell up 
No. Yeah, if he was single with no child, then he can go and spend all his money on his mom all he wants. But he has his own family to worry about. His mom can ask her husband. Or idk. Use her own money. If its something she desperately needs like meds. Gas for work if she desperately needs it. But other than that. No. Your guys baby and you are his priorities. His mom can go kick rocks if she is only doing it for new things.
No that’s ridiculous. He’s acting like a child.
Also, who tf makes petty ass chouces like that when it comes to the baby? Thats his child and he should man the fuck up.
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I’ve been with my bf for 11 years and he does this with his dad he sends him money when he can usually no more that $100. It doesn’t bother me because I know his dad doesn’t have a lot and that’s his dad who took care of him plus I know me and the kids come first for him then his dad.
plus when I get old I hope my son’s surprise me with some dough here and there after all I paid for there clothes, shoes, toys they had to have or candy when ever we go to the store or stuff animal every time we vacation somewhere. Not to mention $10 Nintendo gift cards are not cheap! They owe me for making me broke. lol
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Join monster-in-law support group
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Same thing here. I don’t even say anything anymore though. I just don’t want to hear it when we need $$ for groceries or basic necessities ESPECIALLY when it comes down to our kids and bills, HE will need to be the one stressing about having to figure out how to make more $$. He’s slowly figuring that out on his own lol not my problem 
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No he is in the wrong. Yes help your parents sometimes but his priorities are suppose to be you and his child and her as his mother and an ADULT should know that so shame on her too
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He obviously needs to get his priorities situated and learn that his mom’s a grown women and can take care of herself. He basically has a wife and kid to think about and support.
Personally I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant and single, I just walked out on/got told to leave by my ex who I was with for 4 years. He didn’t treat me right and wanted me to get a abortion, even made threats to make me miscarry. I wouldn’t. He was violent and tried to manipulate and use me. Best decision I ever made was leaving, and all I have to worry about in me and my son, not some psycho.
So Idk exactly what your situation is but sounds like he just needs to think about a few things and grow up and grow a pair. Tell his mother no. If he is there he is there, there is no half ass parenting. It’s all or nothing when it comes to your child.
There’s nothing wrong with him wanting to get her things as long as he makes sure that his bills are paid and his child has everything they need. If he’s honestly going to be that petty to ignore you for expressing your feelings and concern and not going to help with the child I tell him to leave and go live with Mommy and mommy can pay child support for him. it takes two in a relationship if he’s not willing to let you express your concerns and feelings too and vice versa and he needs to leave because that’s what a relationship is
Very weird relationship with his mom. You and the baby should most definitely be the priority. I would get out now…while you still can…
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Get over it. Your the girlfriend. Not his wife. Your playing house and having a baby. Nothing you can do. He cares for his mom. Get over it
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OH HELLLLLL NO. I’d kick his momma obsessed ass right out the house. BYE.
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No you’re not wrong and even if he feels like you are, his daughter is still his responsibility so he needs to help regardless
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Think of it this way, she raised him, loved him unconditionally, diapered him, fed him, gave him a roof over his head, worked to give him everything he needed, educated him in many ways, took care of him when he was sick. Gave him money for things when he needed it like maybe outings, and fieldtrips, and stuff at the store. She did everything for him. And now maybe hes being there for his mother, giving back the way she did. Sounds like she raised a well behaved son. One with respect and morals. And for you to get upset about that is petty. As long as your bills are paid, you have food in your stomach and all the necessities u need, and your baby has everything she needs, its sounds to me that his priorities are straight! Hes a family man. His mother is family. Shes getting older and its great that he is there for her, u never know when her last day will be, so let him cherish his mother. Im sure u would love for that to happen with you from your child. Its better to be close than distant. My oldest helps me out with everything and Im greatful for it. Sounds to me like you dont have a good relationship with your own mother and you are jealous. Get over it before you never get a ring on that finger! Apologize to him, and let things go back to normal, he showed u the difference. He had his priorities straight with you, but u ran your mouth, so ge showed you the difference. Hope u work things out. Some ppl are sensitive when it comes to their parents.
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My mum is walking on the breadline n works herself too the bone, She is a very proud lady n detest ever asking for help But I as her daughter help her out when I can cos this woman raised me, loved me n has always both as n child n adult n a loving Nanna & had my back no-one would tell me I couldn’t help my mum, But if like you said she is financial healthy n just taking the mick then yep things would be a lot different.n you need to make a stand. but still respect she is his mother.
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At first, yea it’s fine. But once you Both have a child together, then You and the baby are his priorities FIRST . YEA he can buy things for his mom every now and then, but if it’s consistent, then that’s where he’s messing up. He should spoil his baby with stuff first.
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If you and your daughter have all your needs met then I would not have said anything. I have a lot of different types of friends and some see giving to their parents as a huge deal. They raised you and you owe them. Now if mom is just using him and is a bad person then okay I understand but if not then don’t complain. If you want more money then make some.
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He can go live with his momma💁
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I had to reread your story because of all the comments being said that you are just the gf and should shut your mouth.
First of all his mother is a grown adult, who is MARRIED AND HAS A HUSBAND WHO PROVIDES FOR HER. She also has a JOB and is more financially secure. The mother needs to stop asking for things and money from her son. She has a HUsBAND. She needs to ask him for those things! Second, she is a grandmother. Grandma needs to let her son provide for his family and spoil his daughter. Grandma should be spoiling her granddaughter not acting like she’s jealous of his attention. Third, your bf needs to grow up and act like a man. Tell his mom he loves her but can not or will not give her money. That should go to providing for his baby.
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If you and your baby are struggling and not getting what you need I understand but if you got everything you need ect then what’s the problem that’s his mum.
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Wow, his mum is a bigger arsehole for allowing him to do it tbh. Let him ignore you, he’s acting like a petulant brat, and needs to grow up. Yes she’s his mum, but your child should be his priority.
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Better run. Next she’ll helping him get custody of your kid while telling everyone how YOU’RE toxic.
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Its differebt when it gets serious enough you’re having childreb and living together.
The family he made is number one.
That doesnt mean he should forget about his mom or you your parents nor does that mean he shouldnt help her when needed. But he made a family hes got to take care of that one.
Tell him to Man up and stop being a kiss ass momma’s boy. Tell his mom to get a pt job if she is broke that her son has other priorities
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My question would be if it was interfering with your lives. Like is him giving her money stopping you all from eating paying rent taking care of baby? If not, then I dont see the problem. I wish I could spoil my mama like that. She gave me life and raised me and has helped me threw so many struggles. Hell I wish I could give her even just one day. Now if it was interfering and y’all was struggling then I get saying something to him. Of coarse him being petty and not taking care of his child because you did say something is still wrong either way.
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Tell that bitch it’s time to go back an live with mum
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First, did you approach him with an attitude about this situation that could gaslight him or were you calmly matter of fact? IMO, He should limit his funds to his Mother to buying her Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, Mother’s Day gifts and put all your family’s names on it! BTW he sounds really immature with his actions toward you now & curious if his Mother is filling his head up with negative comments about y’all relationship is to why he stopped helping you with your baby!?
Oh well maybe try another boyfriend an get the baby daddy for child support
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If you’re not struggling financially, I don’t see a problem with it. It’s his mom, she’s helped him throughout life and it’s probably his way of saying “thank you for everything you’ve done for me”
But if him helping his mother out is financially hurting you guys than he needs to slow down a bit and maybe give her something once a month like $50 or something
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Why would he get mad at u for raising a concern you have in the relationship? How are yall supposed to communicate when he acts like a child after you confronted a problem in the relationship? The mom isn’t even the problem here, bc it could’ve been another problem and i bet he would’ve acted the same way. Sounds like a toxic guy to me
Its time they cut the umbilical cord its either her or us
Leave him and get child support guys like that not good something is up
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You always do for your elders. She should understand this. She isn’t suffering.
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As someone else commented, it could be cultural or perhaps her husband controls the money so your bf is used to helping her. Personally, my bf is between work and I give him money for his parents when I can afford it. They are not as well off as we are.
If you are paying all the bills then he should help more. If he is paying half or more then you have no say on how he spends his extra money. If you are engaged you can suggest planning for your future but still not control all the money.
Tell him to go live with her. Change the locks! Any woman is going to tell him the same after starting a family with him. Ita ok to be close to your mom but it’s not ok to allow it to take from your child
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That’s a bit weird. Once in a while a gift is ok or like the holidays but all the time? Nahhhh
What’s wrong with giving your mum money or buying her things 