Fan advice: me and my daughters father ( 10 months old just broke up ) like a week and a half ago…I’ve been staying at my grandmothers…we were dating for a little over two years and Idk what to do…like some times he will pull me closer like talk to me and stuff then like other days he doesn’t wanna talk only about our daughter…he lets his other kids FaceTime their mom. I’m confused like I feel like he’s just playing games with my head. Like sometimes I wanna call him so bad cause I feel like he’s talking to another girl like their mom…Idk what’s wrong with me and IDK how to keep myself from calling him. He has a friend and the girlfriend over there to help watch his other two kids when he has a tow call, so he is distracted from like blowing me up. I just don’t know what to do. When I have the baby who is most the time cause he’s always on the call, he doesn’t want me to take her around like anyone, so he just expects me to sit at my grandma’s. He got mad cause I said I might move with my mom close to Westernport, and he’s saying the baby isn’t going. Like I feel like he’s just messing with my head. I’ve always broken up with him, and now it’s like he wants me to get a taste of my own medicine…Idk how to stop calling and just leave him alone and see what happens… I just can’t get over the fact that I’m scared he will get with someone else… help me
Girl. Just go live with your mom, get a restraining order if you need to. Kick this dude to the curb and leave him there.
I would tell you to just move on, but I know it’s not that easy.
If you truly want him back, you’re gonna have to be strong & act like you don’t care.
DO NOT CALL OR TEXT. IGNORE
He has no say. You split up, you have your life, he has his. I would also get a custody order.
First off you sound really young. You can’t let him control you. Y’all aren’t together so put your big girl pants on and do what you need to do for YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER. If he wants to be stupid go get a custody order.
How old are you guys? Like, like, like:skull:
I read that word way too many times. You guys broke up. Talk about the child only. That should be the only priority. No reason to blow each other up if you guys aren’t together.
Like any bad habit, it takes time and effort. You have to have the discipline to not communicate. Worry about you and your baby and that’s all. Even if you have to live with a family member for a while, do what you have to. Give your family member your phone!!! If it’s that important, they can communicate with your ex regarding your child. Doesn’t sound like the relationship is healthy anyways.
Honestly, you sound like your not done and you two need to talk to see where your relationship stands. If you love him and he loves you then true communication skills should resolve the issue. I worked my relationship out because we were so miserable during our separation. But we are married. You still have the option to walk away or if you want the relationship than remember communication and mutual respect. To pass time focus on your grandma and daughter. Go find a hobby. Cry when you need too but remember as a parent we just gotta get back up. Don’t stay down too long.
He’s so playing you 
He wants his cake ( to be single and bang any chick he wants) BUT he also wants you over there in the shadows waiting WHILE he dictates your every.single.move.
Like…please have more brains then this.
Why would you be mad that when he calls/texts sometimes he only wants to ask about y’all’s daughter. Be happy that he still cares enough about her to ask about her. And what’s wrong with allowing his other kids to FaceTime with their mom? That’s their mom. Is he talking to her because he’s got kids with her and they communicate? It sounds like you’re mad jealous.
It appears you did not do well at picking a partner. Also, he’s not that into you. It is time to stop calling him and go live your life. Go get a custody order and move on as best you can.
Is on your child birth cetfactie and if hes not he dont have rights to her you do
I think you are letting him control you and play mind games.
Don’t tell him your business. Don’t be a plaything for him to work mind games with.
Create a life for your daughter and have self respect for yourself and don’t get it from a sperm donor.
Block him on social media and all his friends and only communicate if you must about your child.
Find a man that furnishes you a place to stay
Wtf?
How old are y’all?
You have a 10 month old and you’re worried about head games with your ex?
How about be single, raise your kid, and learn how to co parent.
I’m sure you can do better than him. And it’s OK to be alone too.
I was like this when I was 18.
Breaking up with someone means you’re done with them romantically. You can’t do this wishy washy crap.
You have a kid and should be focusing on that. I’m going to take a guess here and assume he’s quite a bit older than you? He’s screwing with you honestly.
Boy bye.
You sound like you’re in high school.
Be a woman and stop worrying about a sperm donor. Worry about your kid only.
Honey, you must be young. You need to stay strong, do not call him unless it has to do with your child. Distract yourself, go to lunch with your child and friends and if he says something, act unbothered. Tell him you are single and can do whatever you want ! Do not take your child around dates immediately. Time does heal all wounds.
Be more focused on your daughter than him. She needs stability. Co parent and be respectful of each other. And if you’ve broken up he is free to do what he wants, and in my opinion once you break up that “what if he/ she did this” will always be in the back of your head. Focus on you and the little one!
Remember your not together, he has no control over you.
Get to court and file for custody, child support and request all communication through text so you always have a record.
Also if seeing. If seeing him is hard get a Mediator for pick up and drop off or assign a family member or trusted friend.
You guys aren’t together you said move on you don’t deserve this
What does his children facetiming their mother have anything to do with this? You think because he let’s them call their mother, he’s messing with her too? You’re a mother now…wouldn’t you expect him to do the same if he had your child? I’m completely lost and it just sounds like you have zero trust at all. A relationship is nothing without trust. You might wanna think about growing up now and teaching your child what a healthy, loving, trusting relationship looks like.
Umm… What did I just read?!
The second you got pregnant your single life ended. Your child is most important now. If moving with your mom is best for the baby move. Don’t get back with your ex and move on. Get your life together, go to school, and raise your baby in a safe and loving environment.
Let him go already. 
I’m sorry. This is all over the place. So his kids FaceTime their mom…and??? You say you’re the one that always broke up with him…so this back and forth is part of a game you guys play…and you’re letting him control you but abiding by his wishes and just sitting at your grandmother’s house?? Here’s how you stop calling…you stop. Grow up and be a mother to your child first and foremost. You think this is a good example to set for her? You think the toxicology and your immaturity is going to help raise a strong young woman??? You’re scared he’s going to be with someone else…let him. He doesn’t sound like he’s any prize…and you need to just stop worrying about it and be a mother.
Toxic toxic toxic. “Iv always broken up with him” this is a childish relationship and you guys sadly brought a baby into it. Smh. Leave him alone. Get a better boyfriend. Do what’s best for your daughter so she doesn’t grow up thinking that it’s okay for guys to be controlling toxic crazy people.
He cant control what you do or who you talk to, ever. Not when you’re in a relationship, and certainly not when you’re broken up. Do whatever you want to do, take her around whoever you want to (obviously use your judgement)
He is messing with your head. I know how you feel about having to call him. It sounds like for 2 years you’ve been emotionally dependent on him, his opinion of you & what you do. Don’t call him!!! You’re feeding into his abuse when you do.
A few things you need to be aware of. Since you weren’t married he doesn’t have rights to tell you where to go. You can move anywhere you want unless there’s a custody or child support agreement that states otherwise. Move to your mom’s. You need to tell him. You’re under no legal obligation to have any contact with him. If he really wants to see your baby he’ll file for visitation. If you’re moved by then or before you file for child support he can’t force you to move back. If he files for visitation in the county you’re living in tell the judge you have a financial hardship & all your money goes to the care & well being of the child. He’ll have to provide all transportation.
Toxic on both sides. Move with you mom if it is better for and benefits your child. It’s not about you anymore. Move on and get over it/him. Y’all weren’t married and he can’t tell you that you can’t go. Not without a court order anyway. So get moving on.
You sound young. Honestly if you guys aren’t together he can talk to whoever he wants and date whoever he wants. The same goes for you. It’s none of his God damn business what tf you do when you are by yourself. If you have the baby all the time and he doesn’t help out with the baby with support you have every right to move with your mom. If there is no custody thru the courts then you can move and file custody over where your mom lives. Don’t be young and dumb. Leave him alone. He’s an asshole.
Its manipulation…Get on with YOUR life. Do not let him control things.
grow some control and let him do what he wants he doesnt want you only for the child minding so get on with your own life
He’s subjecting you to emotional abuse. You feel the need to call him because he’s made you dependent on his feed back, opinions. It’s hard but you need to fight the urge to contact him. Cut him off. Don’t call him, get him off your social media, don’t tell him where you live & tell family members not to tell him either. If there’s no legal custody agreement or child support that states you need his permission to move you don’t. Courts can’t enforce something that was never an order to begin with. Go ahead & move if you want to. Even out of state. He can’t stop you, you wont be forced to move back (a lie I was told). Legally you’re not obligated to let him see her & he’s not legally obligated to support the child unless there’s court orders. Let him file for visitation. He probably won’t. But if he does he has to file in the county you live & is established in. Tell the judge or mediator that your income goes to support your child. You don’t have extra income. He will have to provide all t,ransportation. I’d also suggest you talk to a domestic abuse counselor. They can help you understand the abuse you have been suffering.
I also just went through a very bad break up with my sons father. We were together for almost 8 years. Honestly the best thing now is to just focus on your child and yourself.
Go home to your mum! This guy does not respect you,and don’t let him control you!!! You have a little baby who needs you,and by the sounds of things he is not bothered,otherwise you would not be at your nans feeling the way you do!! If you even have the thought hes upto no good, MOVE ON!!! It is not love girl 
Sounds like hes young and inexperienced with breakups. Sometimes people have difficulty moving on but know deep down it’s for the best. You should help sever the tie between you two, focus on baby, and help each other be the best parents you can be.
Sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do. Let him go. Live your life let him live his. Don’t discuss your life with him other than that that has to do with your daughter. I I don’t blame him from saying the baby won’t be moving. Just because you guys broke up doesn’t mean you have the right to take the baby away from him.
Get him out of your head…toxic relationship. Think about your daughters needs …not yours. He evidently don’t care enough or he would make every effort to help. Let him go … get on with your life for your daughters sake.
Girl, you gotta let him go and move on, he can’t keep you from moving if that’s what you want to do, but I suggest seeking a lawyer’s advice on the matter of your daughter. Is there a custody arrangement? Now might be the time to consider that.
Not to be mean or anything but I’m not sure who the toxic one is in this situation is you or him or both of you …how about you put your daughter as your number one concern and not care what he is /is not doing .he can only play head games with you if you let him …
Kids having kids… Too bad a baby was brought into this.
Your concern should be your child …not like…this childish crap…grow up and be a mom…
First, Like go on birth control. Like, there’s like these really good families, ya know like out there. Like ya know, adoption exists.
He cant really control where u go unless u guys are married i think…so fell him to fuck pff. And u have the aby most of the time u cand o w.e u want with her and go w.e u want with her. Stop letting him control u!
Also get a custody agreement asap cause if hes on the bc n he has her on a day he sees her n can refuse to give her back…n cops wont do shit
First off, it gets easier when you mature a LOT. Second, what’s wrong with his kids facetiming their mom??? And it isn’t your business if he’s seeing someone else. Y’all aren’t together.
1: you are broken up, it doesn’t matter if he is talking to someone else because you aren’t together.
2: until there is a custody agreement you can move you and your baby wherever you want.
3. You “have always broken up with him” and now you feel like he is messing with your head because he finally got sick of insecurity and drama and ended it? Girl, stop.
On and off relationships are horrific for children, neither he or you should be wanting to put your kids through that, and if you do, you are selfish. Don’t put children through selfish, immature drama.
Let him go! Obviously u both r toxic to one another. But i would not keep the baby away from her dad. And idk what state u live in. But where i live my mom lost custody of myself and my two siblings bc she moved more than 100 miles away from my dad. (she lived 104 miles away) so i would personally go talk to an attorney and get legal advice when it comes to where u r able to live and how far away it is.
Time to put on your big girl panties and do what is best for u and your child!
Sweetheart. He already is with someone else. Let this go. Go to court for custody and child support plans. Im sorry.
Im not even sure why you have left it all, your happiness etc, all up to him and what he does or wants. Your next action, your feelings, your life is waiting for him. Time to figure out what you want and your child needs and go for that
This, kids, is why we don’t have babies until we are grown ups.
You’re broken up…stop worrying about him moving on and do so yourself
Why does it matter if his other children get to FaceTime THEIR MOM?
Just focus on your daughter and coparent. Stop worrying about the relationship part. In the long run you will feel better. Don’t jump into another relationship eitherm you need to heal. Be strong and focus on your daughter, if you feel like you miss him, go take your daughter and play , just stay super busy with her and you will heal. I promise.
time to grow up and grow a pair
Good for you. Now live your best life.
Get over it lady don’t beg any one
To be with you. Unless your a dummy
You sound very dependent, emotionally and physically young. You’re not ready to be in a relationship. Please get counseling and take parenting classes. One last suggestion, stop LIKE using LIKE in almost every LIKE sentence. If you want to be taken seriously please speak proper English.
He sounds a real pleb…you have a child that needs a stable parent to her and you are that parent. He knows how to work you up girl. Time to fight back. Let him have his cake and fun cos I promise he will get his come uppence when all the women he messes up will get together and sort him out. Move away and don t say anything to him your life and baby’s is more important, be strong for her. You will manage …
I’m going to be extremely blunt here. It’s time for you to grow up and be a parent and put your kid first, screw the father, move where the hell you need to, it’s not like you’re moving and he’ll never see the kid. He’s controlling, manipulating and down right destructive and wants to keep you under his hand, by words and if that don’t work than even by force if he has to. Stop worrying about what the hell he’s doing or what he’s going to do. Take his ass to court and get child support, work on visitation even supervised because by the sounds of it, he’s never going to stop with the control and right now that’s the only way you’re truly going to have control. It’s time to move on with your life without him in it. Swallow your pride and put on your big girl panties for your child as your child needs to be first not your needs for a man who doesn’t give a rats ass about you other than to control you.
It sounds like you were bluffing and he called your bluff. You sound very young and probably thought he’d come begging for you but he is probably tired of your games. You said the reason he is not blowing up your phone is because he is distracted by work? I think he is going to move on and will find a more mature woman to be with. Your post doesn’t explain why you left and it’s missing a lot of information. I am going to speak to you sternly now. Think twice before you breakup a home for your daughter due to a tantrum. You can not dangle your child in front of him like a carrot and you can not up the threat to now moving because he hasn’t come looking for you. You need to grow up sweetheart and put your daughter first. I can almost bet you don’t have a job and are bored feeling abandoned because he’s at work all the time. If you are scared that he will find someone else then go back and make it work for the sake of your daughter. He doesn’t deserve it a,nd your daughter definitely does not deserve any of this.
This is life’s way of teaching you a lesson. Here’s where you grow a little and learn from this experience. Sometimes you might hear the phrase, “Know your worth.” But, what does that mean, exactly? It means you are better than the treatment he’s giving you. You are worth more than all of this. It’s better to be alone, learn a few things about yourself (that’s done by doing things that interest you or seem fun) and giving that attention you’d normally give him… to your daughter. Let time heal your wounds and let him lick his own wounds. You are a warrior woman, a mother, and have so much more life to live outside of this joker for a boy.
Honey, it’s time to grow up. You sound like you are either very young or very immature. Nothing wrong with that, we’ve all been there. However, you made a choice to be with a man who was in a previous relationship that resulted in children. (First red flag). Then you made the choice to have a child with this man. Now he no longer wants to be with you. (Second red flag) You are making yourself crazy calling this guy wanting to know what he is doing. All that does is feed into his ego. It’s time to figure our what you are going to do for your child. It is not up to your mom or grandmother to support the two of you. He can’t stop you from moving anywhere. There are resources out there to help guide you. Stop thinking about him and think about that baby. And please get on birth control.
Let him get with someone else n you do the same…its not his choice who you have around your child just like its not yours who he has in his home around her when you are not there…if i was you id file for emergency custody based on his threats to not allow you to leave with your child and telling you you cant go out anywhere with the child…its controlling behavior and the only reason he hasnt tried to take custody from you is because he knows he still has you mentally wrapped around his finger…he controls your actions even during a break up…the min you start taking steps to move on he will try to take that baby as a means to regain control of you…its probably how he ended up with custody of the other kids…and she probably only plays nice with him because he took them. Do yourself a favor and get a custody order in place and cut communication with the man
Well. Y’all broke up so he can talk to whoever he wants. His other child’s mother of not. 
he can FaceTime whoever. Specially if he’s letting his kids do it to talk to their mom lol. He talks to you and is friendly for the kid- not cause he wants to ‘teach you a lesson’ cause you broke up with him before. 
Having friends over doesn’t mean he’s distracting himself from talking to you.
The moving- he has a say if it’s out of state, other wise you can move. But depending how far it is and if you’ve been threw court or if he takes you- you will probably have to either meet him half way for pickup/drop off or you do one trip and he does the other.
I’m going to be extremely blunt here. It’s time for you to grow up and be a parent and put your kid first, screw the father, move where the hell you need to, it’s not like you’re moving and he’ll never see the kid. He’s controlling, manipulating and down right destructive and wants to keep you under his hand, by words and if that don’t work than even by force if he has to. Stop worrying about what the hell he’s doing or what he’s going to do. Take his ass to court and get child support, work on visitation even supervised because by the sounds of it, he’s never going to stop with the control and right now that’s the only way you’re truly going to have control. It’s time to move on with your life without him in it. Swallow your pride and put on your big girl panties for your child as your child needs to be first not your needs for a man who doesn’t give a rats ass about you other than to control you.
Now for you, stop this stupid shit, with the back and forth, worry about what he’s doing or not doing. He’ll contact you if he wants to see his daughter with you. Learn to control yourself and what you’re doing. Put your child first and foremost over any need you have, they ALWAYS come first before anything you’ll need. Take some classes on proper English if you want people to fully understand what you’re saying. While you may not realize it, what he does when you are not together is HIS business and unless your daughter is directly involved, YOU have no need to worry or care.
Stop calling, leave him alone. Move on, do what’s best for your child and yourself. If you have to move then do that. Not sure why you’re letting someone dictate your life, especially when that is one way.
If you two have already broken up several times then you already know that this is not a stable relationship, you need to do what you need to do to stabilize your life for your daughter. Don’t worry about him right now.
Seems like you’re going to have to be the one to make the decision to stop the confusion yourself.
He’s messing with you and the only way he is gonna stop is if you don’t let him.
He will probably be a jerk once he realizes it. But then it will confirm you’re doing the right thing.
He’s pulling you in so that you don’t go anywhere and pushing you away when he feels like doing whatever he wants to do.
Make the decision to make it permanent.
File for child support.
Get or agree on a legit custody order and don’t talk about anything else.
Life is to short to worry about what he’s doing.
Do what’s best for you and your child.
You need legal representation. Check through Legal Aid. Get a parenting plan in place. I’m sorry he isn’t what you hoped for. But at this point, you need to get yourself stable and take care of yourself and your child.
You must be very young!!! Cause this read all over the place. He can’t tell you were to go or stay!!!
A good relationship doesn’t leave you wondering. Leave him alone. It may take a while but it gets so much easier. Leave him wondering what you’re doing.
From reading your post I get the impression you are young. You have to find a way to be happy with yourself and work on your insecurities before you can be happy in any relationship. A man will do what he wants with who he wants. If he tries truley wants to be with you he would make the time but he has a right to be in his kids life. He also has to talk to the other baby mama because they have kids. You have to have trust. But if you are constantly make up break up it’s time to move on and let him move on too because that is not healthy for anyone.
My best advice to you is 30 days no contact. The longer you go the better off everything will be. This means if he calls you, don’t answer…this makes him think of you. If you are calling him all the time it is giving him the satisfaction of knowing he can continue playing games with you cuz you will always be there. You need to off balance him and make him wonder.
He already knows your weak spot and just want his cake and eat it too without the responsibility or commitment, do not allow him. Is ok to cry, is ok to hurt, there was a connection and you have love, but do not unpack to stay there. Learn your worth, how?.
Love yourself, begin to compare all negatives and positives and why breaking up was really not such a bad idea. God removes people from our life for a reason, maybe there was no future for you with this person and someone willing to be all the man you need is on a very long line waiting, but being with this one who is a dead-end, you would have never found the good man. Also maybe you loved too much that you lost yourself, and God do not want that. So give yourself all that love and care you need and deserve, is time for you. Prepare yourself to meet the right man, date yourself, be selfish, give you the things you want to get from someone else instead of expecting them from someone else, this helps to build your strength again, charisma, and self esteem and when god sees that you are ready the right one will come along.
Girl, you guys broke up. Don’t let his head games get to you. If he wanted to be with you, he would. You are a single mother. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD! if you need to move, move. If he is becoming threatening or too difficult to talk to, get the courts involved for visitation and custody rights. He doesn’t need to know a play by play of your life, he clearly isn’t telling you everything about his. It sucks, but you need to be strong and handle your shit in time, you will see you dodged a bullet.
U broke up with him so leave him be . U have the right to take the child where u want . Who cares who hes talking to u chose to go and not be with him. But u are fixed on what hes doing all the time . To me this seems like something u will be up to many years from now is stalking, going back n fourth with him.
Find someone who wants to be with you. You don’t need someone who doesn’t
Get away. Get some self esteem…get away now!
You sound awful young. Coming from at 48 year old woman MOVE ON worry and you and that baby. It won’t stop until you stop it.
You stop yourself from calling him by deciding, choosing you wont call him, this is not a 1 time decision, everytime you feel the urge to call or obsess over him you choose you dont want to and decide that you wont. In that moment you need something to focus on, and you have your child , choose to put your energy toward yourself and be the best mom you can be. Honestly this guys bs wont keep you up at night later but regrets about missed moments with your child will, i wish you much strength but i know you can do it because you ask how you can stop thinking about him so much and thats the start!
Completly ignore him… Guys can’t handle that… Make him think your just fine… Head game him back…
From what u said he already has a girlfriend once they start cheating on you it never stops live ur life n the babies just get visiting rights then go to your mom’s you’ll live a better n happier life without him
Check the laws in your state I know in some states if the baby was born out of wedlock then the mother has sole custody of the baby until the father takes her court to establish paternity and file for his rights
Focus on your child and stop overthinking something that is no good for your surroundings.
U are letting him know you are sitting there waiting on his every call. When you stop doing that and make him wonder what you are doing he will call. Men are hunters they want what they have to chase. Make him wonder . But really move on you’ve missed the mark. You taught him the wrong way to treat you. Just remember that in the future.
You sound like your a teenager
Go to court get a custody order so your little one lives with you,get defined or specified access so you know when he supposed. to have visitation the time,what days and times. If your concerned he may take her ask for an order that he can not take her out of a certain area pick a public spot for pick up and delivery of the baby apply
for child support make the order police enforceable so if he doesn’t follow the order you have some one to help you get her back. Go to court ASAP even to get a temporary order until you can get a permanent order
If you are afraid he will meet with someone else the you must know or at least think that he is not committed to,you and your baby.Dont settle for being second best in any mans life you and your baby deserve to be number 1
Good luck. Stay strong
So he decided to leave a toxic relationship and your being a crazy ex. Seems about right. Grow up and move on. You have a kid. Its time toquit the high school drama crap. You will only hurt yourself and your daughter more by acting this way. You guys have split up multiple times. Its never going to change.
Why did you have a child with him without getting the lawful security of marriage? Now you have few options beyond possible child support. He never committed to you.
count your blessings then and move on being a single mom! you are entitled to a life too and dont deserve being on some man’s choke chain!! Your not his pet and honey leopards don’t change their spots so domt ever expect him to change for the better it will only be short lived!! Don’t be used!!
He is already with someone else. Move on
Move where you want to, see your friends/family with your daughter when you want to, file for child support and primary custody and stop taking to him unless it is about your daughter. You’ve broken up with him and he is just playing games. Time to move on he’s is a controlling manipulator ! Time to move on
Keep busy! He wants you yo want him. It’s a game. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t want you. He’s moved on. Do for your child & yourself now!
umm… run! Build yourself a life, rather than waiting for someone. Who cares if he gets with someone. do you want someone who breaks up with you, and plays head games? Or do you want a partner that actually supports you… RUN
He’s messing with you. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Just move on. Only talk about your daughter.
You got out. Stay out. Get some kind of protection order from the courts for you and the baby and get some kind of child support/custody order set up ASAP!