My boyfriend and I non stop argue: Advice?

Together for 4 months and moved in to LIVE with your kids??? What? I can’t even introduce someone to my kids at 4 months because that’s not long enough to know their tendencies, cycles, peeves, mannerisms… not a smart choice and now you’re dealing with the consequences of not thinking it through. That’s absolutely nuts. Better to have peace and be alone than with someone who doesn’t even add color or value to your life. Times are hard and I know there has to be more to it but uhhh girl think it through. Like look ahead and foresee the issues that you could be inviting into your life. Hope you wise up :heart:

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Just leave this is all toxic

Didn’t finish reading. 4 months??? Leave.

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All I get out of this …you dont like his kids,
If his kids wasn’t in the pic it would be all good…he needs to leave!

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I mean moving in and living together when you’ve only been together for 4 months is already a huge red flag and probably a big cause for the issues your having. It’s not healthy for 2 people who barely know each other and are still in the beginning stages of a relationship to be living together, sharing a space and constantly with each other that early on. We all portray ourselves a certain way in the beginning stages of a relationship, it’s just a subconscious thing people do. Neither of you gave any time at all to have a healthy distance and boundaries to allow your true personalities to show and evolve. The boundaries, “distance” and space that you skipped when moving in together so fast are a key role in building a healthy long lasting relationship. You essentially skipped years of bonding, building and figuring each other out and moved right into living together and sharing a space.

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I didnt even read the whole thing. Stopped half way through to tell you to just leave. It’s only been 4 months. I’m sure the problems are only gonna get worse from here

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He has a built-in babysitter with you! Why would you want your three kids to have to listen to all that fighting? And, they already have 2 other siblings, they don’t need three more to have to share with, and get short-changed. Kick him out along with his three kids, and make the most of enjoying YOUR three kids without thinking you NEED a man in the house!!

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That much drama in 4 months…get out!

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4 months in…nothing but fights, living together, kids already involved…walk away now. It never should have made it this far this fast. You’re not happy, leave him.

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Have him move out with his kids, and his car!!! It is not going to get any better!!!

Wow you have kids and you move a man in with you only after 4 months. See, this is the reason kids get molested or worse cause mother thinks she has to live with a man after the first week. You know nothing about this man. He moves in with you because he needs a babysitter and you want your kids to see y’all argue and fight. Get rid of him and focus on your kids and a positive future and stop taking in every Tom, Dick and Harry off the street for God’s sake.

You don’t need this. Nor do your kids. His as well. Get rid of him, and find happiness. Someone who deserves you, and will care for your kids as well. He may be very stressed. Who knows? But you don’t need this. :sparkling_heart:

… it has been 4 months. You don’t have a family together. Y’all are stressed and fighting because you had NO dating period, and you threw 6 kids in right away. You moved right on in with each other, which is fine if it were a roommate situation first, but it’s not. Moving in on a whim is for childless people. He could be anyone, you don’t know. You haven’t even given yourself time to scope out the situation before you threw SIX kids in the mix. I try so so so hard to not judge, this one is hard though. Y’all didn’t think it through. One of y’all needs to move out. If it doesn’t get better within 2 weeks break up.

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Four months and already living together? To fast and to much.

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Why do people jump right on to married life after dating for a month or so lol legit setting up relationships to fail that way.

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After I read 4 months and you’re already struggling, I don’t need to read more. Leave. Not worth it.

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Run. And dont look back. At first it was all puppy love? Your only 4months in!

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Why did you let a man move in with your children after knowing him for only 4 months.

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You’ve been together 4 months and all this is going on…end it

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4 months? Ya’ll should STILL be in the “honeymoon/puppy love phase”. :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Y’all be moving people in to quickly… especially around y’all kids

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Break up… It will not get better

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Nah leave. 4 months and it’s already like this?? You’re gonna destroy yourself mentally feeling this way as often as you do. It really isn’t worth your sanity and true happiness in life and neither of you guys children needs to be around that much negativity going on and I mean that as nicely as possible. Why did he move in after only 4 months… that’s moving way to quick in my opinion. Hell that’s moving quick even if it was just you two no kids involved.

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Imagine after only 4 months , living together and subjecting 6 kids to a stranger…and calling this a family

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Not once did you mention your children and how this affected them… im sorry to say this but it was a bad judgment on your part. Too much too soon and tbh it’ll only get worse. Best thing to do is go your separate ways and focus on why you allowed to have a toxic space for your children.

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Poor kids. Why are you living together after a short time like that.

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4 months??? :eyes: poor kids

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Only 4 months?! Yeah get you a :rose: rose and call it quits. Dude isnt worth the headache.

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I don’t even let anyone met my kids in 4 months :joy::joy::joy:

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4 months? Omg just let it go! If you’re having this much trouble at 4 months, you think it’s gonna get better? NOT!

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Wait, you’ve only been dating for 4 months, you each have 3 kids and you already live together? That is crazy. Too much too fast, especially for kids, you probably need to slow it down and see if it works before making it that serious.

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If you’re like this after 4 months, that’s a bad sign… In my experience it doesn’t get better :woman_facepalming:t3::unamused: you’re already living together so it’s not like you can’t see how life is gonna carry on for you. Need to think about the future and if this is the life you want for the children…

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Don’t let men around your kids that fast either :flushed:

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Advice? You already know!
Arguing is not a normal part of a relationship. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. We don’t argue. If you don’t get along with someone, don’t be with them!!

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Way too much goin on here for two people that only started dating 4 months ago, you live together already, have 6 children between you, and it just seems this relationship would be harder to keep afloat than it’s worth, dump him now and next time you meet someone, wait a while before moving anyone in with your kids, trust me,

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Pack his stuff. He is gaslighting you and starting fights on purpose then blaming you for the fight. This is who he is. Kick him out. It will get worse. He likely is cheating no matter what he says. Life is too short to be miserable.

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Why are you so involved at 4.months?

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Wow! You’ve only been together 4 months and already living together and you have three kids? Seriously like who does that? Sorry not sorry but, you have no business being a girlfriend be a mother you’ve only known this person for only a few months and he’s now living with you and your kids. Just wow. Dump him and work on yourself and dedicate yourself to your kids.

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Wow yall are so desperate so a partner :roll_eyes::face_with_raised_eyebrow: what sort of example are you Setting for all those kids
My husband didn’t even meet my kids till we had been together for 6 mos and we didnt love together for like 2 yrs, and guess what, we dont argue cuz we know how to communicate

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First of all, HOW did you ever expect this to work? Four months and you already live together AND have each other’s children involved. You don’t even know each other yet. You had zero business moving in together, let alone bringing the children into it. Imagine what the kids are thinking. I think in your heart of hearts you know that this is not going to work. It’s just too much, way too soon. End things as civil as possible for the kids.

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The first few months were the honey moon phase??? The entire first few years should be the honey moon stage :flushed: if yall are like this at 4 months, it will never work.

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If you argue you shouldn’t be together. Children should NEVER be brought up in that environment.
We’ve been together 28 years and never had an argument. No, we’re not fortunate, we accept each other for who we are, we have no expectations.
If you REALLY like each other you each accept the other for who they are without question.

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You two need to end it. You are not meant to be

4 months and living together? Your kids are already living with a guy you’ve been involved with in 4 short months.
When you’re arguing, are the kids around? I hope not.
4 months of dating and arguing with kids around. I think you have your answer. And I hope you do what’s best for your kids. Life right now is doing what’s best for your children until they can fully care for themselves. Just how it is when you have children. Of course you have your life too but wouldn’t you want what’s best for your kids? You’ll be a better parent when you’re happy, and arguing with someone who you’ve known for 4 months isn’t it.

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Exactly 4 months why are you living together already. People don’t even know about each other in 4 months. Then he moved in am you have 3 kids and his 3 kids come and spends time. That’s too much in 4 months, I can see why you guys are arguing all the time, but it takes 2 so it’s your fault too, not just his. He needs to move out for awhile if you guys want to stay together and work out your problems. Again it’s not only his fault it’s yours too. And I’m a female saying this. You both need to grow up.

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There’s just say way too many huge bright red flags going on for only dating for 4 months.

4 months is not long at all. Honestly this will only get worse and it’ll be harder to leave the longer you stay together.

You need to just get out now, if not for you, please do it for your kids.

This is what happens when you rush things. You can’t make things stay perfect as they always are in the beginning and that is the problem. I’m sorry hun. It’s probably for the best if there’s so many arguments already

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4 months in and him and kids ate already moved in?! What? Why? You don’t know each other enough to have moved so fast. I think its time he gets his own spot.

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Why in the world would you move somebody in that you only knew a few months with children you didn’t say your ages but I’m thinking you’re very young just by the way you’re acting you’re saying you don’t blame him for everything make sure sounds like you do in four months that’s too much six kids two people only four months under your belt you should move apart from each other for a while and see how strong The Love Is? If your love is strong and it will last with you moving apart from each other it sounds like that’s what you need to do

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It honestly sounds like a LOT for 4 months on both parts. Its only been 4 months and u are already taking care if double the kids for the summer when he isnt always there and u are fighting constantly it doesnt sound good. The first months are usually the absolute best part of the relationship but at only 4 months in it seems u guys cut that very short. I would say honestly that it should probably end before it gets a lot harder to end.

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At 4 months in that type of situation I’d personally be out. Your happiness and his our way more important than forcing a relationship when there isn’t 1 if u both already want to end it. It’s time to just end it

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You have only been with this guy for 4 months and it’s already this bad?? And how long did you know him before you moved him in with your kids?? :flushed:

I’m sorry if this is harsh, but you’ve clearly made a series of bad judgment calls, and I can guarantee it’s negatively impacting your children.

You need to break up with him and move him out. Immediately. Then you need to start putting your kids first by going to therapy and learning how to make better, healthier choices when it comes to both relationships AND parenting.

And depending on how old your children are, how exposed they’ve been to the fighting, if this has happened before with other guys, etc, it might be a very good idea to get them in therapy, too. Not just because they may have trauma, but also because you don’t want them growing up thinking that THIS is how relationships are supposed to be, that the example they’ve seen at home is acceptable. You need to set a better example for the sake of your children.

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4month & the kids r involved ffs slow dwn & sort urself out love

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Instead of arguing just to argue, it is important to take the time to actually work toward solutions…not just fighting to determine whom is right or wrong.

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This is moving too fast and y’all already fighting like this…… say goodbye

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This is just ridiculous :flushed:

After only 4 months of dating you dont know eachother.Definetly should have waited to join lives completely…

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Run…leave as soon as possible

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My husband and I moved really fast we were engaged in three weeks and married before we were together a year. So I personally have no room to say anything about moving too fast, but you just kind of know when it’s going to work. If you and your kids don’t feel safe, accepted and loved when you go to bed every night, maybe you aren’t with who your supposed to be with. Dismiss physical attraction and ask yourself is he my friend, can I see him raising my kids with me, do I want to grow old with him, do we have the same morals and parenting style?

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Non stop arguing is never good but after just 4 months is a huge red flag that’s normally still the honey moon period

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4 months – hey you should be long gone.

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and this is exactly whu you dont get children involved or move in with people until 3 years in
ridiculous

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You’ve been with this guy for 4 months and you live together? That’s a problem in itself.

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Ton of kids and barely knowing each other is the issue. Just keep working at it if yall even want too. So issues came about after his children were there? He supports and helps with yours and now his are there its to much? Smh

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i would talk to bf and say look it i have 3 kids -u have 3 kids , and i am going to move out and get my own place - why because it was way to fast what we did and that was move in together! once we r seperated i feel that things between us will work out for the better for the kids

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First off you’ve only been together four months and you’re already living together with children what the hell are you thinking your kid shouldn’t be the met this man

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4 months. Living together? Babysitting hí kids. RUN please.

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It’s been 4 months and already kids living with each other and strange people?! Too soon… 4 months and all the is fighting? Yeah no… leave.

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Wow You have a guy you have Been dating for only 4 months move into your house to live with you and your children?? How can you really know someone after 4 months? 4 months into a new relationship should still be the cute flirty stage. This relationship just sounds toxic and it’s only been 4 months. Your arguments sound petty either learn to just not bite at small things or leave. Are the issues even worth the argument really?

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NAAAARCISIIIIST :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::loudspeaker: GIRL. He needed a place to live for the kids, and you were easily accessible. These ‘friends’ saying those bad things, are more likely HIM baiting you for an argument and testing your tolerance for the real b.s. he’s about to drop. KICK HIM T.F. OUT!

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Acting like a 13 year old with 6!!! Count em!6 kids in the house!!! Lmao. Use some birth control and tell sir raw dogs alot to wear a condom. 4 months isnt shit lol.

Um you say you non stop argue but then say you don’t argue everyday? 4 months is too soon to be complaining about him working…I mean you could be dating a bum… the fact he told you what his friends say means he probably has no intentions on cheating. Maybe he’s just not the guy for you?

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Let him go cause its not good to argue all the time u have serious problems in this relationship. FIND ANOTHER MAN And move on

Girl that sounds terrible, who wants to argue that much??!! and it’s only been 4 months? hell no leave!!!

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So you met and moved in together? No wonder you are fighting.

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Idk but it feels like people think they’re lost if they don’t have a significant other so they jump in first and question it later when things aren’t picture perfect because they never took the time to get to know one another. Noone seems to stop and realize if you take the time out, ALONE, and love yourself you will find love because you will know who you are and what you want and you won’t accept anything less. People don’t seem to do that and they get smitten quickly and clingy. Which never works

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4 months and living w each other and 6 kids :woman_facepalming:t4::woman_facepalming:t4: talk about bad decision making lol

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Counseling??? Actually, just sit down together and talk seriously. Are you happy ?? Is he ?? That’s your answer

Im not reading it but only 4
Months and fighting already?? Y’all moved in too?? Uffff

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You never truly know someone until you live with them. In this case, y’all went WAY too fast. Kinda makes me wonder why he was willing to move so quick in the relationship.

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So you are living together after only dating 4 months? I’d start by backing up and slowing down

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I stopped reading at 4 months

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Break up. Any more advice???

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Are you sure that he moved in so that him and the kids had a place to live? There are so many things that you could be doing to improve your circumstances~ Rewind and start over!!

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He’s tired, he needs your support not arguments. If things don’t get any better you doing this it never will. You then need to decide who leaves.

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4 months and you’re already asking this

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Uh…2 strangers trying to make a toxic relationship work in front of a bunch of kids is bad for the kids!

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It’s been 4 months…. That’s it and already Al l this chaos. I couldn’t even read it all. Probably best to end it before getting the kids too far involved esp if toxic.

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Too much headache in four months. Cut him loose

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All this after only 4 months? Slow down for a start. You moved in together far too quickly.

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Your not his mother. He’s an adult and if you guys are fighting like that at 4 months staying is plain stupid.

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if you can’t sit down and talk about what is going on like two adults this relationship will never work

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Do you really need someone to tell you to RUN???

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To many red flags flying.

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4 months?! Tf?? Noooo that’s the honey moon stage, if y’all are fighting already you’re doomed and just walk away.:woman_facepalming:t2:

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Girl were you that desperate to put a stranger in the house with your chikdren?? Have you done this with other men? Please set him out and go to counceling to see why you think so little of yourself. Or you will never have a good man in your life. You will be what men call" out to pasture" slow down in your next relationship. Wait about a yr to take to meet kids and for you to get to know one another. In four months you two probably didn’t even meet each others family. To get their instintive opinion…

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Sounds like you two aren’t compatible and you’re both immature.

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