Post anonymous. Me and my boyfriend have been together for going on 5 years. We have one daughter together and we live together. Every time I bring up marriage or a ring he blows it off. Or always says when my attitude changes. What should I do? Should I kick him to the curb or what?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-boyfriend-blows-me-off-when-i-bring-up-marriage/16626
Don’t force a marriage… if y’all love each other what’s the problem? What will change if you get married? Nothing. He will love you just as much as he already does now.
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Honestly I’d walk. That long and no ring and dismissing you like that shows he’s not into commitment and that’s a red flag.
It’s been 5 years , if he wanted to marry you he would have done it by now … Kick him to the curb !!!
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Yeah you kick him to the curb if marriage is truly what you want. You already doing wifely duties as it is you already got a place together you already got a kid together so why do you need a piece of paper stating it?
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It’s never a good idea to force someone into something they don’t want. U have to decide what’s more important, a solid relationship or marriage. I understand how u feel because I wouldn’t want to live with someone forever without getting married. Also remember that if it’s something he doesn’t want and ur push it, it will end up failing
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Stop wasting your time it’s been 5 years . Time to wake up
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If he wanted to put a ring on it he would have by now. So if marriage is important to you, you need to find someone else.
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Why the hell do yall put a time limit on love? No wonder men don’t wanna marry women like y’all…
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When he is ready to pop the question he will that’s something that can’t be forced don’t fuss over it
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If you guys won’t want the same things then it might be time to move on.
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For the ones saying move on or run why do any of that yes marriage is everything ppl want but why push him
He’s a smart man… But if you’re not happy then just leave… I’m sure he’s not gonna cry… Hit the road. .see ya later 
Don’t force something that’s not meant to be. Your post is vague but it sounds like he has no respect for you. Ask yourself if that’s really the life you want. That baby girl is watching you and the way he treats her mother will affect the way she will let a man treat her later on down the road.
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He doesn’t want to get married. If he did you’d know
That means your forcing him to get married and that he doesnt wanna get married. If you wanna get married one day and he doesnt then you might wanna call it off cause its not gonna work out
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Run! He’s stringing you along! You deserve better
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One thing you don’t get back is time…if marriage is what you want and he doesn’t, maybe it’s time to reevaluate y’all relationship. Good luck with everything.
I don’t see why marriage is something that’s so necessary, it’s literally just a piece of paper that gers the government involved. Love is love
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I never understood why a piece of paper and a ring are do important.
You have a long relationship, a child and a home.
And you’re questioning to end it all over a ring?
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If he wanted to marry you he would have asked you
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Yes show him the door. Let someone else who is more serious come in
I’m struggling with this 2 . It’s been almost 3 years I feel very loved by him but I don’t understand. Im willing to wait and I don’t bring it up bc I don’t want a forced marriage at all
5 years is a long time to not know. 2 1/2 year too long time to cut your losses. Move on with your life you deserve better.
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Well if he’s getting all the husband privileges already why would he? He needs to see that you aren’t going to act like a wife if that’s not the goal.
He’s giving you your answer he doesn’t want to get married I don’t know if it’s just to you or in general a man will know within 6 months whether he wants to marry you or not girlfriend you are wasting your time and FYI ultimatums do not work don’t force somebody to love you or marry you. You might be holding on to him and there’s somebody so great just waiting for you and your future but you’re stuck with him instead of receiving your true blessings.
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Don’t wait around for him to ask? Maybe propose to him or don’t bring it up?
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First and foremost, remember that not everyone wants to get married and you cannot force him to marry you. I mean, you can, but do you really want him to marry you just because you “bugged him to”?
With that said, don’t let him blow the conversation off. Don’t let him change the subject. The future is a discussion that every couple should have, because if you two want different things, you’re wasting each other’s time. As for the attitude comment… just no. You don’t choose to marry or choose to not marry someone based on their attitude. The whole institution of marriage is for better or worse.
I would flat out tell him that you two are having the marriage conversation and then go from there. If he blows it off or makes excuses, then it may be time for you to walk away.
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He has it made why would he want to change no strings but a child
How important is marriage to you? Is it a deal breaker? My bf and I have been together 9 years, and are on baby number 3. I want to be married, he doesn’t. I am personally not leaving my happy, healthy, family because of a piece of paper. But I do understand that some people are like that and need marriage. Best of luck to you darling and I hope you do whatever is best for you and yours!
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Seems like that’s not what he’s looking for… I’m sorry
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You can’t force anyone to marry you. It seems like he’s comfortable with what he’s got without the paper. If you want more, then find it
If something would happen to him you have no ties
5 years is a long time for him to not know. They say after 6 months you know if you want to keep going and after a year you know if you want to get married eventually. But he’s already getting milk from the cow. Why would he buy it?
He maybe scared to get married however don’t except him to change either except or move on. If you want marriage find someone who wants it to
That’s a big step in a relationship. You have a family, doesn’t mean just kick him to the curb. Have you ever try to talk to him before about how he fells about marriage? If he ever wanted to get married? Before committing into a relationship and having a child together, these questions should of been ask by now. If you guys are happy and have no problems why continue to bring it up?
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If you want to be married,yes you should move on from that relationship. He’s made it clear to you that he doesn’t want marriage. Don’t waste years of your life waiting for him to change his mind. He wont,and its your precious life you would be wasting waiting.
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My ex was like that. He had a couple women on the side. If a man wants you long term he will make it known without any snide remarks about your “attitude”
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Unless you need a glorified room mate give him the boot and find someone who actually values you.
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Change your attitude and leave 
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Lol well… marriage isn’t for everyone. I didn’t get married to my first husband till we were 10 years into it. For us, it was just a piece of paper. Once we signed that paper I suddenly felt really trapped and suffocated. I left. My ex and I are still good friends but honestly, I should have never married him. I don’t love him like that but I do love him as the father of my children. With my fiance now I feel completely different. Like a switch turned on and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
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If you have to ask I think you know the answer
I recently heard “it don’t take a man all day to recognize sunshine”… I was with my man for 4 years before he proposed, but if he hadn’t… I would have made plans to find someone who saw my worth and potential as a partner. 
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Change your attitude and dump him !!!
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Then move out and let him play single life. Your not there to “play house” obviously if he loved you he’d commit to his family
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I’d sit him down and ask him what he wants and if marriage will eventually be on the table or not. If the answer is no, or when your attitude changes (which is rude af)then sadly the two of you are not going in the same direction or want the same thing.
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Stop doing wife things for a girlfriend title 
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Why do you need to be married Homie? Lol
This is the big reason why I refuse to live with someone or give them marital privileges before marriage. Some men have this way of thinking “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?”
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My girlfriend and I’ve been together for six years my girlfriend would kill me if I asked she finds it a waste of money it’s not gonna change anything…
We’ve been living together for five years and have a daughter together so technically married to the law
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If the relationship isn’t going any where and you are not happy then you must make a decision if you wanna stay or leave and find someone who you deserve.
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Your first mistake was having a child with a man who didn’t commit to you first. Never understood why women would have a child with someone before marriage. That seems to be a common theme with people posting how their SO don’t want to get married.
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Not everyone wants to marry. I personally don’t want to marry but I have kids and in a stable relationship. To some people it’s a waste of money/piece of paper
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Not being hateful to you but sweetie y’all have been together 5 years have a child and living together so why should he get married u have give him everything without married so unfortunately there might a case he will never want to get married so u have to decide if u can accept it prayers that u come up with the right answer for you and your daughter hugs sent 
Here’s the thing. Neither of you are right or wrong. If he doesn’t want to get married and marriage isn’t for him, that’s his decision.
But if you want to be married, then you also have a right to want marriage.
You guys both have different ideals for what you want for the future.
You need to sit him down and legitimately talk to him and ask if he truly sees marriage in the future. If not, you’ll have to decide if it’s something you can live with. Good luck!
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That’s not a long time. This also depends on your age and finances and also how your relationship has been for the past 5 years. Started dating my husband in 2008 we got married in 2015 after talking about marriage for 4 months and when we were both ready. We already had two daughters. But to us married or not we chose each other. There are many reasons why people don’t like marriage I was one of them. I did not want a ring nothing. Maybe he has seen how marriages fail for one reason or another and does not want that to happen.
Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some people just want a committed relationship without the pressures of marriage. This is a discussion you both should have had at the beginning of your relationship.
Depending on where you live, if you’re living together you’re considered common law married and if you do break up, you will have to get divorced.
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Run!! He’s not willing to commit. My kids dad was the same. He got me a ring 3 times and each time I called him out for cheating he made it seem like I’m the bad guy for calling him out. He took those rings back and I finally took off the blinders to see who he truly was. He only wanted a place to sleep at night and knew it would be his comfortable spot without actual commitment to someone who carried his child.
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Change your attitude and blow him off like is does you and move on… he’s not going to do anything and you can’t make him change his mind. You deserve better then that and most definitely your daughter does…
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Some people don’t want to get married he’s allowed to not want that
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Why do you have to be married? It’s just an expensive piece of paper…
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I will say without even knowing details that he’s full of shit. If he lives together and is with you he’s not marrying you solely cause he doesn’t want to. If your attitude was that bad he would simply not be with you. He has a child with you and he lives with you. He simply doesn’t want to be committed to you. If it was finances or something else I’m sure he would talk about it. But the fact that he’s putting the fault entirely on you is a red flag.
Start living for you and make yourself happy. Make him scared to lose a happy, confident, and independent woman who doesn’t need him… I get that not everyone wants to but I see it as a commitment for the future of the family. Not wanting to commit would just make me feel like he’s not committed. I’m not saying that’s true or right, that’s just how I would personally feel.
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If marriage is your deal breaker then you move forward . Two sides to every story . If your happy except for that one piece of paper then figure out do you need it or do you just need the status to show off to everyone ?? He says your attitude is the problem then figure it out what is the truth to that or do the both of you have attitude and insecurities and immaturity problems. You left it short and sweet so I can not go based off of your own part of the story . He blows you off for reasons you know or just do not want to admit to.
Sorry but after 5 yrs and a daughter, if he hasn’t married you yet, he’s not going to.
That being said, If he’s a good guy to you and your daughter and is committed to you guys, then marriage is just a piece of paper.
Regardless of how others feel or what they want in their relationship, if you have made it clear from the get-go that you believe in marriage and wanted that and he agreed to be with you, I understand your frustration. It literally does not matter what anyone else thinks, because if you have made it clear and had that discussion, then it end of story. Now, if you guys never discussed that and he just never wanted it, that’s on both of you for not communicating. If you want to get married and that’s something YOU want, then you may just have to straight up ask him and if it’s not something you agree upon, you should leave. Everyone has their own boundaries and standards they set in a relationship, none of us can tell you how to feel nor should you let any of us diminish what you want for yourself. It’s great others don’t want marriage, or it’s just a piece of paper, but that’s them and this is about your life.
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Sweetheart he is not going to marry you, it is time you move on a start a life with you and your child, and maybe you will find a really great guy, but remember don’t move in together until you are married
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Not everyone desires marriage. If you really want marriage, and he doesn’t, then seems like y’all might be at a standstill.
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Start looking for your own place. You should have done it years ago. He’s not going to commit, why are you wasting your time with him. See lawyer about arranging visitation, you need to gather information about his income, his insurance. Because he will be providing child support and insurance for the baby, so you need to gather this information and prepare to live on your own.
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Or, maybe he’s been thinking about it and the idea of you feeling “pushy” or “having an attitude” about it turns him off of the idea. I’ve been w my now fiancé for almost eight years, 2 kids together, have a house together, and I didn’t get a ring until almost two years ago. And guess what, I have yet to wedding plan because that shit is stressful and neither of us are in a hurry to sign a paper when we’re practically already married. Minus the same last name. Even if you’re in a rush for a ring and marriage, respect it if he doesn’t want to get married right now. Because even if he doesn’t, that doesn’t mean he isn’t “committing” to you. You can be not legally married and still have commitment.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, have 2 daughters and bought a house together. He has told me a ring isn’t going to change his love for me and he doesn’t need a ring to prove he loves me.
If you have made it clear from the beginning you wanted to get married then you need to sit down and have a talk about what he expects from you in order to get married or if he is just saying that to keep you quiet. As far as moving on, that’s your choice but if you truly love him then you don’t need a ring for it
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Well it sounds like he doesn’t want to get married. So if that’s something you really want and he won’t even really talk about it then you should leave and find someone else. Also I would stop acting like a wife and doing wife things if you aren’t married.
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Is his will good or something ? on a serious note u don’t have to be married to be happy! If it’s working just fine without the ring then carry on how u are, no need to go through divorce in future if u already having thoughts of walking 
Wow! You sound like me 7 years ago! My husband and I got married about a year after I gave up that conversation.
After 5 years and a child 
… he’s not marrying you. I totally understand the importance of making it legal but he isn’t going to do that. Cut your losses and move on. Good luck to you!
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Do you love him? Does he love you? A ring and a wedding isn’t going to change those feelings
Sounds to me like he already has what he wants and doesn’t have any motivation to get married. Since he is blatantly blowing off your want, you’ll probably be better off leaving and finding someone who is willing to give you marriage and a ring. I hope you find what you’re looking for 
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Is he a good father and boyfriend if so respect his wishes not everyone wants to get married it’s just a piece of paper
Kick him to the curb
Me and my fiance have been together for 13 years with 3 boys together and he asked me to marry him 2 months before our 13 year anniversary maybe he’s not ready yet for marriage
If marriage is important to you, it’s time to move on.
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This has nothing to do with your attitude, bunch of crap, he doesn’t want to be married for whatever reason. Time to cut him loose, you’ll be much happier without him & God will send you a suitable partner if that what he wants for you. Prayers, dear lady 
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He’s just waiting to see if something better comes along. If that weren’t true, he’d have comitted a long time ago.
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Not everyone wants to marry. A pieceof paper doesnt always change the love. If its a life goal for you but not him then go your separate ways.
And no 5 years isnt too long for some. Ive been with my husband longer than some have been alive. Took us 8 years to marry, why because we didnt need a piece of paper. The love was most important.
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Your attitude will definitely change one day… but it won’t be to his benefit.
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My only advice for this comes from my sister’s experience,
She dated the same guy for 10 years, they shared a house and finally after 10 years, she told him " if they where not engaged by the following Christmas and pregnant by the following summer", she was going to end it. And that following Christmas (6 months later) they were engaged and he custom designed her ring and they had there dream wedding in Maui. Now they have two beautiful children and they are in there mid 40s thriving 
. Good luck.
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You’re a placeholder. Move on. He’ll just dump you when he finds the person he actually wants to marry. It’s not you.
May be change your attitude…
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Calm your melons, it’s only been 5 years. Not everyone wants marriage.
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He just isint the marrying type…just hire a lawyer and get medical and financial powers of attorney over eachother…its the same thing a marriage certificate offers …now if you leave eachother the finance fall out will be the same as if you were never married…but try that instead.
If you have to beg someone to marry you it is time to cut him loose. As far as just a piece of paper that is incorrect, it is a commitment. It is a commitment that obviously he does not want to give. You need to move forward and be with someone who looks at you as a treasure not an option. Best of luck sweet girl.
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Focus on your daughter and growing yourself and stop dating a walking man child.
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Oh I would hang it up on him so quick that it would make his head spin!
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WHY would you want to marry him?
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Sometimes these post just funny . because most of the time their not taking our advice they just want people to tell them this that and other . You see they don’t come back and comment on nothing
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Marriage is a piece of paper that just gets the government involved in my opinion. But if its so important maybe have a real sit down about what he needs “changed” and why he seems hesitant to want to marry you even though that kid links you two together more than a marriage would.
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Sounds like it’s time to kick him to the curb. He blows you off every time you talk marriage that’s to let you know he has no intentions of marrying you
ALLEGEDLY…We are supposed to know if we are ready to commit for the long haul within two years. If it’s been 5, I’d seriously question his intentions.