My Boyfriend Changed After Our Child Was Born and I Don't Even Want to Leave the Baby Alone With Him: Advice?

The other child is still your baby’s brother ,so doing some stuff for him would not be a bad idea

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You dont trust leaving your child with him…enough said, time to break up.

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Sounds like he is jealous of the baby getting your attention. Girl, I have been there. You may want to reevaluate your relationship.

I wouldn’t subject my child to this type of behavior, your child is getting to age where he or she are noticing the disconnect

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Leave. Make him take financial responsibility for his child. If he wants visitation insist to the judge it is supervised. For some reason it seems like he resents this child, why is that?? But the major concern is you cannot leave him alone with your baby! Major red flag

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This is another case of a mother placing her needs above the needs and safety of her child. Nothing this fan said would keep me in the same house or relationship with the baby daddy.

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Surely you know that’s not a good place to raise a child!! You’re priority is your child, not him or even yourself. Honestly, this shouldn’t even be a question. If you’re too scared to leave the baby alone with the father, you shouldn’t be staying with him. Don’t wait for something terrible to happen before you do something about it. Prevent it now. If you know this about him and don’t get your kid out of that environment, you are equally to blame if something happens. Good luck, you know what you have to do.

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Sounds like there’s still some attachment to his ex baby mama and their child together to be totally honest.

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Why are you still with him? Please re-evaluate your life with him ,it’s unhealthy for you and the child.He won’t change, he probably was like that before but you didn’t see it ,and he had all your attention, he doesn’t want to share you ,and this is NOT LOVE, it’s just possession, maybe he had a bad exemple as he was growing up. You should suggest therapy (couple), it might help.

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Agree,leave.In the end this will hurt the child more,if u stay.I went threw this when both my boys were little.

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You already know what to do… you don’t need anyone else to give you validation to what’s best for you and your child.

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Be thankful you aren’t married to him. He would only get worst. Find you someone who gives you and your child the love and care you both deserve.

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Time to run!!! Don’t walk , run! That is not love, that is abuse!

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So all the answer you need is “I won’t leave our child alone with him.”

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Things do change. Relationships do change.
Do not let it get to you.
It is up to him to sort out what sort of dad he wants to be. Be patient and positive.
You are a reflection of what happens to the children, so it is important that you look after yourself. Do fun things.

He’s showing his true colors. If you love and care for your baby and your safety you’ll leave him immediately before it’s too late🙏🏽

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Leave. If you wouldn’t want that kind of relationship for your child, when they grow up…leave.

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Sounds like you already know the decision you need to make. If you don’t trust leaving your child with his father also your spouse time to get rid of him. Heaven forbid something happens you’d never forgive yourself.

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Bye bye. Also stop with other child. Most importantly, always trust your gut instincts, as a mother and as a woman.
Do what needs to be done in the best interest of you and your child.

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If he’s not there too help you support you you don’t need another child too clean up after that’s how he’s acting let him go you’ll be more happier and he’ll have to pay child support that at least he can do move on you need to be happy for you and your child

Unfortunately some people change for better when baby arrives and sometimes opposite for both parents… if u don’t trust leaving ur baby its clear sign you need to find a way out and just be the best momma u can be without him. You got this :two_hearts:

If you dont feel its safe enough to leave your child with the father, then I am sorry but it’s time to leave always trust your gut. You won’t leave your child for a reason and your child deserves better, so do you tbh

Honestly, in my opinion…if I was with someone I had a child with and saw “changes” and didn’t trust him with the child, I’d be out the door and not looking back.
Sounds to me like he’s not a very good man.

You need to leave. My ex-hisband did the same thing and turned into a very abusive person. Verbal, physical, emotional, all of it. I spent 5 years in a living hell that lead to 3 years of drug abuse because I let him get into my head to the point of controlling me.

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If you feel this way then leave him and take care of your child alone it will be hard but better for you and your kid!

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Run as fast as you can and dont look back!!! It doesnt get better!!!

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So many ignorant ppl just like “leave him Sis!” How about y’all consider counseling and you express exactly what you said here to him in a safe neutral space…:person_shrugging:. But what do i know? Just throw the whole relationship away like most those cowards say.

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This is my husband of 22 years he has never done anything gone to anything and now im divorcing him get out before marriage it doesn’t change

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I’ve been in this situation, and I’m telling you it will only get worse. As the mother it’s your responsibility to protect your child. Please find the strength to leave. Before he hurts you, or the baby.

For the health and well being of the baby u need too be alone there is no sense in taking care of 2 children when u only have one .Do not choose a man over your child

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Hell no! You and your child are not second best. Neither is the older child from the previous relationship, it should be equal. The older child should be included in order for him to not feel left out of his dads new unit and neither should you and your child.

Your man needs to step up and do right by you and both of his children. He should be helping you and taking an interest in his babies life and you shouldn’t stand for anything less. But more to the point if he gets snappy and angry so quickly and you don’t want to leave the baby alone with him for this reason then maybe you should be taking a look at your relationship.

You deserve a man who will help you raise your child and above all else be trusted to be left alone with the little one. If you don’t have trust then what do you have. Also what do you worry will happen if left alone with him? These are the questions you should be asking yourself.

I wish you all the best though and hope you can put your side through to him to give him a chance to change, otherwise put you and your baby first and do what you have to do to show you wont tolerate this.

The other child is just that a child you shouldn’t take it out on that child and switch up on how you treat or do for him/her on the other hand the other issue cannot go on any longer that is his child as well and he needs to tend to it Nd provide for maybe he wasn’t ready for another baby but it’s here now so he must accept it period this is ridiculous and you’re right in how you feel and me personally I couldn’t go on with the relationship if the conversation has already happened about his behavior and you don’t see even an effort it’s time to go your mental health and all around life matters indeed and I wouldn’t put up with it you Nd the baby deserve so much more good luck to you

Men can suffer PP depression just as much as women can. Definitely not an excuse what so ever BUT that being said that could be a contributing factor into his actions. If you do not feel safe or happy then leave.

Leave his ungrateful ass! Then put him on child support. Your child doesn’t need to be in that toxic environment. Don’t think because your child is a baby that they don’t understand what’s going on, because they’re more aware then you even realize.

Get out of there…for both of y’all health and safety for baby get out and start fresh… you don’t want baby growing up having to think of feel that he/she isn’t loved…

Why do you stay with a man you don’t trust with his own child :rage:,something’s wrong with this guy and you need to leave

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Leave maybe e needs a shock to the system to make him realise … either way ur doing. Everything alone anyway no difference women often change when a baby comes along as it’s all about the baby and rightly so but some men get jealous and can’t cope with it I think my ex became like this after my first born I could never understand y

Sounds like he is wanting to keep the child you two have together a secret.

That sounds like postpartum depression on his part. Get him some help.
My husband and both dealt with some sort of postpartum issues.

I would end that relationship immediately. I can’t even begin to understand how you’ve dealt with that for this long. Your child deserves better and so do you. He sounds like he has a mental illness that needs treated. On top of being a complete entitled, ass hole narcissist. He’s gotta go. There is obviously no happy future with this guy as your partner or as your baby’s father.

Why are you with him if you can’t trust him and he’s obviously a bad tempered jealous pain in the axxe. You would be better off on your own. At least your mind would be at ease

My exhusband did the exact same
thing, since the attention was not on him he became a different person.

How was he brought up? that might have to do a lot with it, my exes dad didn’t believe in Dads helping at home only with bills, so i see why it happened it just sucks I saw it after my child was born, i’ve been a solo mom for 6yrs now and I don’t regret it, he still the same person n only shows sometimes to see his child when he needs and ego boost.

This are red flags of what is coming for the rest of your life,take it or leave it, but make the best decision for your sanity and your child’s well-being!..:pray:
He is an adult and should know raising a family takes time, sacrifices and efforts. He is doing none of it.

In plain English. He does not want you or your daughter and will probably rejoice the day you leave…

He feels guilty about being apart from his older child. He doesn’t want the oldest to see him treat the younger one like he loves her more. Did he want this pregnancy?

Oh that sucks so bad. It sounds like there just isnt a whole lot you can do if he doesnt want to put forth the effort…you have 3 options…accept it, fight it-this is not a good option, or eventually get sick of it and leave. Just be careful, he could say he wants visitation and then unless u can get supervised visitation, u wouldnt know or have a say in what he was doing with baby…I say that because u said u didnt trust him alone. Good luck mama!

He’s not getting the attention that he used to get from you. He’s acting out as he no longer has you all to himself. Be aware to not start the tit-for-tat relationship which can turn toxic very quickly.

Ever heard the expression “kick him to the curb”? This guy is mentally and emotionally abusing you and your son. Your son should be around supportive male role models. Your son should be your priority #1.

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Why are you still with him if you dont trust him alone with your child?

He won’t help with or support your child and you are with him? Like living with? And it’s been 5.5 years of this current behavior?? What exactly is the question then? Or problem? Sound fine to me🙄

How about leaving? If you cant leave the baby and pay for it all now he is dead weight…
Adios.

Why are you putting up with all of that?

Leave .go find your own place. Move on with your baby and take him to court for child support

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If your doing it alone be alone don’t let him mistreat you and your child. If you can not trust him alone with your child it’s time to tell him goodbye .

Dump his ass…you have to even ask?

You need to leave him, go for child support and supervised visits and never look back

You should find a loving partner

So why is,he still your boyfriend. You and your badly deserve better.

Send his aas a packing!!! You are better alone. And I would go through the courts for child support!!

Jesus girl just leave him! No excuse to be with any guy like that! JUST Leave before it gets worse!

I would talk to the other mom and get her input, otherwise leave

Leave you and your baby go and don’t look back. You deserve so much more.

Sounds like he’s a little jealous

No how bout First you be a mom!!!

It’s time for you to leave his dumb ass f that i will never allow someone to treat my child like that Nope​:speaking_head::speaking_head::speaking_head::100::100::100:

I think you know what you need to do… it’s self explanatory

take a hike girl. you don’t need that

Soooo… why are you with him?? :eyes:

First he is your boyfriend???

My ex-husband was the same minus other kids it was only ares! I left his ass and took legal sole guardianship of are daughter. His mother forces him to take her every other weekend, but she is 10 now and tells me that the only thing she does is being locked up in his room while he’s in the livingroom with his girlfriend the entire 48 hours she’s there. So now I only let her go is if she asks to see him, but stopped all visits since COVID started for her mental well-being.

Leave him and move on! You deserve better

Leave. They don’t change. Ive lived this before.

Throw the whole man away

Get out of there before it is to late

And he don’t want to share you.

Leave and try for full custody asap.

Better off on your own.

If you have to ask this question you know the answer… hopefully

My question is why are you still with him

Leave his ass. U and ur baby deserve to be happy.

Leave NOW!
He’s a DUD

Geeze. Everyone saying leave :woman_facepalming:t3: Guess they never heard of communication. TRY first before leaving. Maybe he’s suffering from depression. Dads can be depressed too after having a new baby. If he is feeling guilty or whatever then he needs to work through it. A therapist can help. If he turns out to be abusive or just doesnt care to even try to improve himself then leave. You both deserve better but he needs to know that his behavior will ruin the relationship if it doesnt change.

TRUST YOUR GUT. If it tells you to not leave your baby alone with someone then DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY ALOME WITH THEM!!! You need to leave get proof. Record what he provides vs what you do, save abusive messages, or take a video. If you do not have proof then if you leave, he will get half custody, no matter what you say. You need proof before you leave.

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If you have an off feeling about leaving him alone with the baby and he becomes angry and snaps often, I think it might be time to leave. You’re doing it on ur own anyway, so there isn’t much lost there. Clearly, his priorities are elsewhere. If he honestly believes that he doesn’t need to do anything bc u are doing everything, then he ain’t shit and it will get worse.

R U N and don’t look back.

Time to leave that relationship

Leave him. Shit situation all around

Drop :clap: That :clap: MF’ER

If you cant trust him to be alone with your child, he needs to GO.

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You need to leave him!!

If he doesn’t want to be there let him go. There are plenty of other men that would love a chance to love you and your child don’t stay where you’re taken for granted find someone that deserves a good woman

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All these things against your fella (arguably you could be right) yet no mention of how your bills are being paid…could it simply be because now you have a child with this guy…you feel your position should of elavated…maybe even above his first child therefore you no longer wish too help him care for his first child and he has taken offence to this…just maybe

People can’t tell you what to do this is entirely your desicion, your gut instincts tell u this is wrong WELL leave then move on good luck

Why are you still there

Maybe he has ppd. Moms and dads can both get it when having a baby is overwhelming

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Why you still there.if he don’t do for you and the baby .

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So how did his other child grow up? Did he ignore said other child until he was at a more “easy” “fun” age, where some might feel you are less responsible for their care. If you genuinely believe your boyfriend was never like this before and feel the change is actually sudden, then he should see a doctor because that sounds like a serious problem.
For a person to be suddenly angry and narcissistic is concerning, however…if that isn’t the case he had probably always been this way, you just never saw him around a baby before and now he (your boyfriend) isn’t getting the attention he feels he deserves.
If that is the case, I agree with others, leaving is probably the best option.

Sounds like he’s depressed and maybe feeling guilty for any time spent with the new baby taking away from his 1st child. If he’ll go I’d get him a dr. Appointment.

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You need to leave. Itll only get worse. I’m speaking from experience. I had left my daughters “father” well over a year ago and it was the best decision I ever made. We have such a better life now. Please get out, it will be hard being a single mom but you’ll have such a better life for you and your baby.

Yeah I feel you may need. However for the kids to know eachother keep in touch with your extended family.