My boyfriend does not want our son having any contact with my ex: Advice?

Thats weird to me. I have 3 daughters from a previous and a son with now bf. We all do birthdays together and holidays my son knows who his sisters dad is and he’s only 3 we all get along so our children can have a healthy relationship with everyone involved . Id tell your boyfriend to grow up.

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WTH. He’s childish. I let my daughter say hi to my boyfriend’s ex and she has a daughter too so when they see each other they’re always waving at each other lol. I see nothing wrong with it. I think it’s cute. Kids are innocent why take they’re innocence away.

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He needs to swallow his own insecure feelings. Stop projecting it to the kids. He sounds extremely immature. I’d love him to tell a counselor this and get a 3rd party’s opinion. He needs to be told by someone who is not you that that behavior and attitude is toxic and inappropriate and suuuper petty.

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Well he’s not the father of your child so it’s not his decision at all.

Ok so I’m like this with my bfs baby mom. But for good reasons she is extremely toxic, has harassed me and my children and my childrens dad for 2 years and so much more.
With my childrens dad he says hi to my daughter gives her her binky or cup of she drops it while he’s getting my other kids out.
I think it really depends on the situation at hand.

He needs to grow up and be a decent adult.

Your bf has serious issues which will barrel roll into issues for all your children. He should be grateful that you are co-parenting with your ex. Remind him when you leave, would he want to be alienated from his son. I say when, because as things are going now, you will eventually need to leave.

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That’s insane, my husband, myself amd his ex wife all go to the lake together amd she plays with my children from a past relationship and I play with her kids from her current relationship and my husband helps her buckle her kids into their car seats

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Your boy friend needs to grow up.

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Sounds really immature. I say hi to my ex husbands other kids. I say hi to his wife. I don’t see what the big deal is?

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You should leave your boyfriend

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He sounds very insecure in general. It sounds like your ex is just trying to be cordial. I say that’s a big red flag and I suspect there are many more that you may be ignoring.

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I have a son with my ex and my husband and I have 2 children of our own and while my oldest sons dad isn’t involved, my ex mother in law is. I would never not allow my children I’ve had with my husband not say hello or what not when she comes to pick up my older son. At the end of the day, that’s history you can’t erase and it’s still your other children’s dad. He doesn’t have to be best friends with the guy, but he should at least be civil and not teach his child to be bitter. A simple hello or acknowledgement won’t kill him.

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If your ex isn’t rude or disrespectful to the child , your boyfriend is being ridiculous, it’s not like you plan on them having a father / son relationship but you have other children so everyone will eventually be in the same room. Why he wouldn’t want your ex to be kind and including to his child is weird.

Another man who should be kicked to the curb …it’s only gonna get worse.

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SMH swear most of these post are made up.

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Sounds like you forgot to add a child to your count girl. You have a man-child, not a man.

Unless your ex has harmed children in the past, it sounds like the “boyfriend” needs to grow up. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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He sounds like a immature punk. It’s not about him it’s about the kids. This is a red flag, I wonder how many others he has put up… worth thinking about :woman_shrugging:

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Sounds like he’s a red flag

He needs to grow up. My ex has seen my current boyfriend and I’s son. Because we coparent my oldest. And he doesn’t care if my ex says hi to him. Because he knows who daddy is. He needs to grow up and chill. He can’t expect that to happen he’s also little so as you said he’s not gonna understand. Tell him to grow up or leave.

He’s immature and petty. There’s no fix for that unless he tries to remedy it himself. It’s also the example he’s setting for your child.

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Sounds toxic AF and you should leave him. Your kids should be the most important thing to you, and that includes you encouraging a healthy relationship with the other parent. Should leave him before he gets even more controlling and the control will turn to violence.

I’m actually more shocked you had to ask this question…

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My step dad’s ex wife was always a part of our lives… if she bought her kids things before she came to pick them up she always bought for us too… as adults she remained in our lives… always invited to my family events my kids considered her another grandmother… your bf needs to grow up… and be more secure in his role. .

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Your bf needs to grow up! Period.

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Oh wow. Your bf is stupid and immature. If he’s going to be with you he all 3 of you have to learn to get along and co parent the children. Honestly if it was me I would leave him. I’d almost bet my life things will get worse. This is only the beginning

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You two need couple’s and individual counseling as your boyfriend’s behavior is outrageous and immature. He needs to work on multiple issues for a lot of reasons as his overwhelming need to make sure your youngest child does not have contact any contact with his sibling’s dad is unhealthy.

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Personally I would tell the boyfriend to grow the f up because that is not what’s best for his son! His siblings father ignoring him would be extremely rude and hurtful, why would you want your child to be hurt just because of your selfish pride.
Being that he is this insecure with that I would be looking for other red flags because that’s not ok.

Your controlling boyfriend needs to grow the hell up. Get rid of him. Don’t keep that boy away from his dad. With the way the boyfriend acts, he won’t be around much longer anyway.

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That’s not his place,unless your current guy is totally supporting them and the bio dad is a pos

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Your boyfriend needs to grow up. He sounds very toxic and is setting a terrible example for all your children by acting this way. Your older children are most definitely picking up on your boyfriends immature behavior. Just something to think about long term. :woman_shrugging:

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This is so childish to me. When my husband and I got married 22 years ago he had a daughter from a previous marriage. She was 3 at the time. Over the years we had 5 more kids together and his ex had a son. Well her son and my 2 oldest son’s are the same age
So they grew up saying they were all brothers and my kids spent weekends at their sisters house and her brother spent weekends at our house. We are all one family…

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He sounds controlling asf!

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Is he Young? Bacause thats very immature… On one of your older childs graduations, your baby isint allowed to go because your ex is gonna be there? All of you including your ex are a family… But theres nothingg you can do… He needs to put he’s childish behind so he doent affect all the family

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Your boyfriend is immature, what is this teaching your children? You need to stand your ground, if this childish boyfriend doesn’t grow up fast, he’s out, your children come first.

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My ex and his wife always make sure to invite us out when we have my bonus kid. We have a big blended family. Teaching that child to understand that you’re a family no matter what includes being respectful and understanding that your ex is an important part of his siblings’ lives.

In short, your bf needs to grow up. Your son won’t understand why he’s being treated like a pariah and he shouldn’t be to begin with.

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A child can never have too much love. Even if it comes from your ex.

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The bf is the bio dad and can say what he wants; YOU are the bio mom and if the boy is with you then (at his age) you decide where he goes and who he speaks to. More than likely your bf is going to get more controlling and eventually become physically abusive; he’s already emotionally abusive. As your son gets older he may become a victim of his dad’s abuse too. You need to become the legal guardian (ASAP) and get rid of the jerk bf (also ASAP) before he hurts you! Of course, this is all only my opinion, but based on lives of children that have been my students. Prayers that you can remedy this situation

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Way to go Becky your a good woman miss y’all

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Tell him to grow the hell up!

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You need to get a new boyfriend. A friend of mine had 2 girls by her first husband and 3 kids with the second. When the first came by to pick up his girls the other 3 would run to the door to say hi and get a hug. Your bf is a idiot and he should be glad that the ex isn’t an idiot like him.

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Insecurities like this show the world you have a weak marriage and/or a bad home life. 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. Blended families are common. My ex’s 2nd wife came in the picture and swiftly put an end to our joint birthday parties and any sense of a “blended family” there was left. We used to small talk at events, now we ignore each other uncomfortably. I tried REALLY hard to be friendly with her and show her that I’m not a threat, and it was pointless.

I’m telling you as a biological parent viewing it the way your ex husband sees things, he probably feels sorry for you and may even laugh at your relationship. Your bf doing what he’s doing is 100% having the opposite affect he wants it to have. Michael Yannuzzi, care to weigh in?

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Your boyfriend sounds like a control freak.

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Just so he know your kids are all grownup and he dont have that power to control them anymore they know exactly what to do,not by him and sounds like he’s controlling you and how you need to deal with things,just be careful with him

Good advice Lindsey!

So childish! Your current boyfriend needs to get over it. He is very controlling. You need to seriously think about moving on.

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Sounds like your new man needs to grow up.

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He needs to grow up or shut up.

Not his choice , an if you allow this ,well your not worth much either

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Those are very unrealistic expectations he has for you and your guys son. He needs to grow up and stop being a jealous bf. He is putting stress on you and your relationship, that never goes smoothly. Co-parenting is your life and he has to get used to it.

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It sounds like you already know what has to happen. It sounds like it’s time to make him ex #2. For real.

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Council time if you care for your kid

What’s with him refusing to watch his own child??

He needs to grow up! Plain and simple.

Well, father-son relationship isn’t your boyfriends business, not his blood. That is depriving your son of love he deserves. Wake up momma, who is in control here?

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He sounds ridiculous

That would be the day my husband says he doesn’t want the kids talking to my exs. My oldest sons father even has nicknames for my other children. My twins father takes all my kids for game nights because he wants to. We have a very good relationship and it is healthy for the kids to see us all get along and being mature about our separation.

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I’d leave and raise my kids like family. It’s just gonna push the baby away from the other kids.

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Red flag…I’d get out now before it gets worse. Sounds like your ex is better than your boyfriend.

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Id be more mad at the ex if he ignored my kid… not the kid fault… tell the bf grow up

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He needs to grow up an stop being so controlling you can’t stop a 2 yr old from saying hi they talk to everyone

Tell him to suck it up. He’s also YOUR son too. You do what’s best for em.

Moral of the story don’t have kids from multiple men. Then you don’t need to worry about any of this.

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That’s a huge red flag! :triangular_flag_on_post: It sounds like your bf may be toxic.

Family comes in all shapes and sizes. Make it or break it.

Well maybe the dad of the other kids would prefer the bf not interact with his kids either. Looks like bf is teaching kids to hate. Boy friend needs to grow up!!

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I think this is going to stir up some hatred with your older kids, having such animosity in the household, from your boyfriend, directed at your kid’s father. There needs to be mutual respect, when co-parenting. I also believe you are not married to him, and he is already exhibiting insecure behavior, and childish in my opinion. Is this the type of role model you want for your children? You mentioned you don’t condone hate. This would really rub against my own morals. Have a serious talk with him, if you really love him, address the concerns of insecurity, see where the feelings are coming from. It could be stemming from childhood or a previous relationship. Wishing you all the best mama!!:two_hearts:

Dumbest thing I have ever heard. Get rid of the baby…and I do not mean your child.

Ummm not okay at all. Your boyfriend clearly has issues he needs to work on. Coming from experience never let a man tell you what to do with your children. He should be happy your ex is treating your current child with respect and love he sees his oldest siblings getting. My 8 year old has a different dad then my youngest dad who is my husband and he would never step in the way of my 5 year old relationship with my ex. My 5 year old sees the 8 year old on the phone with the Sperm donor and chimes in hi (blank) and he will talk to her. Sad thing is he isn’t around like your ex husband. Tell your boyfriend to grow up get some balls and not be jealous sheesh I’m done ranting about I forgot. Good luck mama. Stay strong

I have 5 children with my husband. Soon to be 6. I have 2 bonus. I do not give my children the opportunity to speak to my Husband’s ex. She is a HCBM (high conflict bio mom). If anything requires us to be together we do not speak to his ex. We communicate only via a court ordered app. Depending on your situation with the ex I would dictate what interaction you allow with your youngest. Did your BF give a reason as to why he feels this way? He may have a legitimate reason.

Sounds like your boyfriend is jealous he needs to grow up coz many of us these days have to co parent be coz we moved on with other partners dynamic families a good if the adults gets on well and treat each other with respect at the end of the day it’s about been mature and living life happily without the drama your bf seems to wanna coz

I completely get where your boyfriend is coming from. I avoid contact with my ex at all costs and changeovers are done through school. If I do have to see my ex to pick up my son , no other child of mine will go me. As far as I’m concerned my ex with never even meet any other child of mine.
Reality is that there is a reason people split up and it sounds like your boyfriend wants to protect his kid as much as possible.

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Tell your current man TO GROW THE F!?& UP. You have to co- parent & that’s how life has to be . Period

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Get rid of the boyfriend.

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This is not okay at all! Your boyfriend is very childish! Tell him to grow up! It’s great you have a good co-parenting with your ex, it’s good for the children. It seems your boyfriend is trying to stir in you co-parenting relationship, maybe he’s jeleous. Don’t jepardice your co-parenting relationship with your ex because of your boyfriend. He needs to grow up and do it quickly!

Your boyfriend sounds very controlling and childish. Maybe make him an ex boyfriend and move on.

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Sounds like he needs a reality check.

Kick him to the curb. He’s trying to control you. That’s his father

I think deep down you know the answer. Tell him it isn’t happening and that you wish to co-parent stress free and happily. You are an integrated family, the little one will attend family events that your older kids have and so on, meaning the ex and his family etc will be around. I also think as you got pregnant very quickly you didn’t really know the ins and outs of the guy, maybe now you have the child together his true self is
appearing…controlling and demanding. Maybe he believes the child means he has more control over you? Stand your ground and see how it goes, but don’t be too surprised if it breaks the relationship and you have to move on for you and yours kids happiness.

I’m not a mum yet and i have come from a broken family etc but it was never bitter, I always got on with my step dad and my dad together. Well done for actually co-parenting and making your kids lives easier. As for your boyfriend, he sounds jealous and childish. How about asking him not to speak or wave to
Your older kids? See how he likes it? Wtf, men think of some weird things. Hope you’re okay, get him told! Xx

Boyfriend sounds very controlling, very childish and to be honest I think you need to reassess your relationship. Showing him the red card comes to mind. Good luck

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Tell him to grow up.