My boyfriend and I have a 6-week old son. My boyfriend works Monday-Friday from about 7 am to 4 pm. Every single night since I gave birth to my son, I have been the one to get up with him at night. (He usually wakes up 8+ times) However, now that I’m coming up on week 6, I am absolutely exhausted, like a walking zombie. I haven’t slept for more than 4 hours a total night for the last six weeks. I had been looking forward to going back to work so that I could use my degree I got in college. However, my boyfriend now wants me to stay home while he works. I had been looking forward to me and him splitting responsibilities with him and me both working. Now, as a stay at home mom, he expects to do everything all the time. I never get a break. He goes to work, and I spotlessly clean the house, cook, take care of dr appts, etc. All on a MAXIMUM of 4 hours a sleep a day. When he comes home from work, he will let me shower, but then it’s right back to me having to do all the diaper changes, feeding, burping, etc. To be fair, he does pay attention to our son when he gets home he picks him and cuddles him a little bit but then gives him back to me and drinks beers and plays on his phone until it’s time to go to bed. Is it unreasonable for me to want more of his help? Even him getting up just one night on the weekend and letting me catch up on sleep would do wonders for me but when I ask him before I go to bed, he’ll say yes but will just leave our son screaming at night until I get up and get him what he needs. How much do you guys think he should be helping? Is it really just MY job literally every second of every day to take care of OUR baby just because he works 7-4? I did not want not to work, and I’ve offered several times to go get a job in my field because realistically, I’d make more money than him anyway, but he tells me he wants me at home with the baby. I can’t see how going to work and getting to sleep at night could be any more exhausting than taking care of a newborn 24/7.
His behavior is bullshit. He should at least be getting up with baby on the weekends so you can rest.
My fiance works WAY more than yours does and STILL gets his ass up with our son even on the days he works 14 hours because that’s his son and he actually enjoys the bonding experience even if it is tiring sometimes. He should WANT to help you and I’m so sorry he doesn’t! He needs to step up
Seems to me this should have been discussed before you decided to have a baby. Either way, do what you want. Go back to work, he’s not the boss of you.
Don’t make him your husband.
Welcome to motherhood 
As far as him not contributing, what you allow is what will continue. Speak up girl.
Working should definitely be your choice. But, as I just said, if you allow him to decide for you, that’s on you.
He needs to man up and start pitching in. Tell him it’s time to split shifts taking care of the baby. This isn’t all on you.
You also make more so HE should be the one staying home watching the baby. Tell him that’s what he’s gotta do or he’s gotta pack his shit and get out cuz you’re already doing this on your own.
He should help!! I would definitely say something!! If you wanna work go to work! Don’t allow him to force you to be a stay at home mom. It took both of yall to have a baby. Yall both need to pull ya own weight.
Sleep during the day when bubs sleep. He should help with bathing ECT and maybe du night feeding at least once a night on the weekend. Have you thought about starting bubs on some puree apple at night. My daughter used to wake up alot at that age and I started feeding her. . She stopped waking up as much when I started it
Tell him to step it
On needing help your baby
Sounds like he wants to keep you at home so he dont have to help…
Ditch the man and use that degree mama
You need to put your foot down with him. When he comes in from work you have a shower and go out somewhere with friends maybe. When it’s his turn to do nite feeds wake him and make him do them. As long as you keep doing them he will let you
Welcome to motherhood. What were you expecting a plasma tv? 
Ditch the man and do it on your own mumma. Your doing it now anyways. Don’t ever let yourself become emotionally abused and dependant on a man. It will just get worse hun.
You have to speak up and tell him how you feel and if things don’t change I’d leave.
He’s not being a father. He’s acting like an uncle. Ignore the people like “welcome to motherhood”, you’re in a relationship with this child’s other parent. He should be helping , he should be helping just because he loves you and doesn’t want you exhausted or ill. Honestly, I’d tell him he’s going to lose you if he doesn’t step up. If he doesn’t care then leave. Honestly.
Well, if he’s working then he shouldn’t be getting up in the middle of the night with the baby. U see how u feel? Imagine him having to actually work all day with that same exhaustion. Learn to nap when the baby naps. You’re dealing with most things, that a lot of moms deal with.
If u want to go back to work then do it. But just remember that you will be dealing with exhaustion at work until u learn to get ur child on a schedule and stick to it.
I think you should do what makes you happy and go back to work. You can raise your child and work. Sorry but a lot of men do this. And it’s not right
Personally. I’d tell him that hes going to have to deal with the fact that you are getting a job. I couldn’t and wouldnt be a stay at home mom
Uhm do you know how many women I know who wish they could stay home with their kids and not work! Who prefer that. Kids aren’t easy no one said they were but you have a man that wants to support you and your child I think it sounds like a blessing to spend that time with your baby while he works and provides for his family!
He can tell u what to do. If you guys can afford childcare…then go back to work
He needs to help more. period.
That child was also made because of HIM, therefore he must help care for him. Talk to him…tell him you need help. If hubs let’s you go shower…take a LONG shower, or a bath…take your time. When you come out, and he goes to hand you baby, say “NO…its your turn, I’m busy”…and be super tough and strong about it. Never flinch or sway from it either. Be the boss butch of the home…dont let him run the house.
Well fortunately you aren’t married to him. If he isn’t going to help AT ALL and you are doing it all by yourself anyways, than I would consider your options. If I were you, I would go back to work when YOU’RE ready, and he can just deal with it. You are only one person. I would speak up. I feel like men who do this, only do it for power. They want to have all the say in the household bc they “go to work and make a paycheck.”
Wow I wish I would’ve had the opportunity to be stay at home mom when I had my kids! How dare he!
Time to set him straight…
He should absolutely be helping with the baby. You both made him and you are both parents. Just because you are the mother does not mean it all falls on you. He is still responsible for caring for the child.
My husband never helped with any of my 5 daughters .
You’ll get used to no sleep!
I don’t mean to be frank, but I’d leave his a$$. My bff’s husband is like this, and after 11 years of two kids all on her own she’s beat. If your bf can’t help with the baby, you’re better off on your own. My husband wanted to get up with our daughter. Cherished memories were made.
May as well be a single mom, because that’s the life of it, if there is 2 parents in the house whether one works or not, both must do the job of raising the baby…
Try having a 2 year old to go along with all of that.
Welcome to motherhood. With that being said yes he should help some with the baby and with other things that you may not have gotten done that day even though he works it does not exclude him from being a parent. Sorry but not sorry it goes both ways you didn’t conceive all by yourself.
Have you told him how your feeling about wanting to return to work and just needing his help, and a bit of break? He might not relise how your feeling about it all, and with the night feeds males dont have the same instink us mummas do, we wake up to the slightest noise but the baby can be screaming right next to their head and they wont wake up, maybe next time he says he will get up to bub, if he doesnt wake up, then wake him up and say honey im exhusted can you feed him for me please, good luck honey being a stay at home mum is hard
You’re allowing this type of behavior. It’s not going to stop until you make it stop.
Find a good daycare and go back to work, tell him that’s the way it is
He should be allowed to sleep at night because he goes to work. When he gets off work, he should step up a tad bit more with the diaper changes and feedings but he gets tired too. I have been a stay at home mom on and off for the past 6 1/2 years. Yes, I do more with the baby than my husband but he makes sure I get that well deserved break on the weekends. Have you talked to him about going out for a few hours to get some you time in his day off? You really have to take a few naps during the day while the baby is sleeping. Take one day to clean the house spotless (yes you will be exhausted) and take the next day off of house work and nap when the baby naps. He doesn’t seem like a bad baby daddy. He is supporting his family, and he takes time out of a long day at work and spends it with his child. There needs to be more communication. Maybe, show him this post and talk it out with him. There is nothing anyone can help you with.
Don’t leave your man like all these comments say 
He goes to work to support you both he’s probably tired.
Welcome to motherhood
Sounds like my ex husband… key word ex! Do what makes you happy.
Sorry. You lost me at he “lets” you take a shower
Girl go back to work. Always be able to stand on your own two feet. Not to mention, it’s gonna make you feel better about yourself. He should want you to do what makes you happy. And yes, he should be helping with the baby. Speak up. Never be scared to speak up. You guys should be able to communicate and come to an agreement and understanding on every situation.
Personally I would make him help or leave him… my sons father did that and I did everything the whole first year. 12 months of up every single night. He said he’d help once hes older. I left his ass after the first year. Best decision ever. We now coparent a 5 year old and do so much better
So when I was working we both woke up. But since I became a SAHM I wake up because I can nap when the baby takes a nap. He cant nap at work
Honestly, it sounds like you have a good situation; I had to go back to work after only 2 weeks after having my first child with little help from my man (he works constantly so I didn’t ask him for help unless I super needed it) and will be going back after 1 month after having out second baby next month. I know it sounds rude/cliche to say that you have it made, but I promise if taking care of the baby solo is all you have to worry about and not a full time job as well, it’s not that bad. You will get used to the sleepless nights and the older your child gets, the more sleep you will get in turn.
Hold him to it on the nights he says he’ll get up. Wake him up when the baby starts crying and make him go tend to baby.
Girl welcome to motherhood lol. I’ve barely slept in almost 2 years and I’m due again next month.
Nested bean zen sack. Order it, thank me later… You will get a full night’s sleep in 2 nights or less when you start using it.
Quite simply: N.O. I’d tell him WE made the kid and WE are splitting the responsibilities after I go back to work. No discussion, period. 
If my husband didn’t help when he was home I’d just be a single mom. Yeah, its better for me to be a SAHM because daycare is expensive. But its so outdated to be expected to do everything on your own when you can’t sleep. I get that people do it on their own and work too, but work is a break compared to motherhood/housekeeping. I’d rather work my 14 hour shifts 6 days a week that I used to compared to handling my son this past year. Go work if you can make it work. Or tell him he needs to step up and be a dad.
He should help. He should get up on the weekend so you can catch up on sleep. Taking care of a baby 24/7 is more exhausting than working, in my opinion. You can stand up for yourself while being respectful.
These things need be discussed before these situations
He should be doing way more. He is working normal work hours. Even if he can’t wake up every night he could at least alternate. My husband works horrible hours and with our daughters he woke up the first half of the night and let me sleep and I took second shift so he could sleep. Plus there were nights my husband was on call and in the middle of feeding he would be called to a work emergency and he never made a fuss
He LET’S you shower? How nice of him. He is a controlling pig.
You don’t have a partner you have a man child sorry but he won’t change this is why he doesn’t want you to go back to work. He is trying to control you.
At the end of the day you need to prioritize you and your baby if he doesn’t like the decisions you make then you tell him he is more than welcome to step up… until that happens he needs to pipe down and remind him this is how he wanted it!!!
Ask him to pay a night nanny once a week!
If he doesn’t want to help you at night time, then he can pay for a night nanny to come to your house once a week at least, so you can rest.
My husband would take turns with me so I could get some sleep, even though he was working 9-5 we shared the raising 50/50
Girl. You married a boy, not a man. Go back to work, after you put your foot down about him helping more with the baby. If nothing changes, get yourself together and kick him to the curb.
He’s not your husband but he is responsible for your child. Therefore continue working cause who knows how long you and him will stay together. Cause if he leaves you will be stuck with a baby and no job.
He should be helping some when he gets home. And not just a shower break. But, if you really want to go back to work, he should not stop you. I’d personally take this time to enjoy bonding with the baby. At least you dont have the added stress of leaving your child with someone 8 hours a day and paying bills. It’s going to be exhausting for you no matter what with a newborn. You can express your wanting him to help some when he gets home but ultimately that is the sacrifice of being a sahm.
He needs to pitch in. Maybe give him a big wake up call by leaving for the day on a weekend. Make some plans with a friend and leave him with the baby for the day. Tell him not to call unless it’s an emergency. He will see the light. He really has no idea unless he has to do everything by himself how hard it is. Rip this bandaid off ASAP. He needs a good ol’ wake up call
Why even have the kid if you’re just gonna rush off and ditch it? I say that because clearly you don’t HAVE to work right now. Your degree and jobs will still be there when the baby is a little older for daycare. Take your time. If you think you’re tired now, add working to the mix. You’ll lose your mind. And men don’t have the milk so what exactly would you like him to do? Stare at the both of you in the darkness while you nurse? He’s working. You’re taking care of the kid. Seems like those are the assigned roles and it was more than likely discussed ahead of time. When he gets home he should be interacting with your child but at 6 weeks old, there’s not a lot going on. If he says he will help but doesn’t, pick up the screaming baby and hand it to him so he gets the clue. But in all reality, be prepared to do it all on your own or you’ll forever be disappointed and resentful.
I’m sorry you are so exhausted. Having a new baby does that. Eventually it will get better. Have you tried a swaddle for the baby at night? My 2 month old would sleep a few hours and than eventually 8+ hours. If he doesn’t work weekends than he should give you a night to catch up on sleep. I also learned to nap when the baby does. I’m back to work now and manage 6 hours a night with working 10-11 hours a day. I got use to the lack of sleep but I make it work. Your boyfriend should definitely help out more. Mine will do anything I ask. If you want to go back to work than do that. Its ultimately your decision. Do you have family that could watch the baby for a few hours while you take a nap or a friend? Hope this helps.
Yeah my son is 15 months and still wakes like that… He doesnt like my husband at night i guess bc he got used to only me. Very much a mamas boy. Its hard, exhausting but as mom we need to do what our babies need regardless.of who helps or who doesnt. I know thats harsh and not fair but motherhood isnt fair. I get about 4 hours of broken sleep if that but your body gets used to it. Hopefully.your baby sleeps better then mine by 15 months lol god bless really i know its a hard adjustment.
He helped in making the baby,he needs to be MORE responsive in helping YOU.Shared responsibilities should be involved! REALLY duties should be split up! You NEED to have a heart to heart with him!!
It should still be 50/50 put that guy in his place. Take a shower when he gets home from work get ready and go out. Go to ur parents house and say his watching the baby and go take a fat ass nap. If you can’t do this hire a nanny to come and help you once in a while.
I did the first 6 weeks with my daughter because only my husband worked but I told him I needed help and we did every other night, it was so helpful to know I’d get a full night of sleep and least every other night it worked great for us.
I’d love to be a stay at home mum. I work part time (used to be full time before my youngest bubba) and I do most things ie cleaning, errands etc. My husband works at least 45 hours a week and honestly, can’t clean for shit so its easier for me to do it My youngest is 16 months and I get up at night because I still breastfeed, but he helps every night - like we split
Cooking, dishes, bathing kods, lunches and on my day on froday i clean the entore house so we dont have to worry. Then we split washing etc in the weekend. You shouldnt have to do it all on your own, esp woth only a 6 week old but to be fair if I was in your sitch id take the majority of it cause he’s working 
it would be the same of he was home and you were working. He sounds like he needs to step up a bit more! Also, Dont let him dictate to you whether you work or not, decisions should be made together as a team and be whats best for all of you, but esp your little one!
Damn, and I thought it was illegal to have sex with a child.
Like everyone else said, you don’t have yourself a man; you have yourself a boy.
You need to have a direct conversation with him about shared parenting and ask him to step up. Honestly we tried the shared feedings with our first and it just ended up with us both exhausted (because mom hearing means you’ll probably be up even if you don’t want to be) so I’d adjust to nap as much as I can and definitely get on the same page with dad about expectations. No one can read minds so really spell out - it would really help me if you can take care of all feedings and changing diapers in the evenings. And then once you two agree on said changes - follow through - if he’s on his phone and baby boy poops hand him off to dad to change. Consistency is key and while it’s hard to adjust (plus newborns burn through SOOOO many more diapers) communication and expectations are keys to success. 6 weeks is still super early so hang in there Mama and give it some time - if you can get some changes going to save your sanity that’s a great start. I wouldn’t look at changing everything up with a new job until at least 12 weeks in (note: most daycares won’t take super little babies for a while anyway and if they do they charge a premium) and you still need energy and sleep to be away from baby too. Good luck! The only thing constant is change.
Won’t let you ? Lol y’all girls are silly. Do you boo. If he don’t like it he can kick rocks.
Whoever laugh reacted, shame on you. But talk to him. My husband was like this and sometimes still is. Dont let your self care not happen. Do what makes u happy
If he doesn’t hear the baby crying in the middle of the night then wake his ass up by being as annoying as possible. He needs to contribute. If he wont then he needs to pay for drop in daycare so you can get some sleep. If he keeps refusing to help then he can pay you child support while you move out and do it all on your own. Honestly this is such a red flag. How do you think this man would treat you if you were terminally ill or badly injured? How would he take care of the baby if you dropped dead? He needs a reality check
Picking him up for a few cuddles before handing him back to you for the rest of the night and playing on his phone is NOT giving him attention.
If you want to work maybe a compromise and go back part time while the baby is younger. Both parents should step up but which ever parent is home more should primarily have responsibilities (whether it’s mom or dad). Stop being rude folks she’s looking for guidance!
First of all the operative word is “boyfriend”! He is not obligated to stay with you just as you are not obligated to stay with him. What will you do if he decides to have a new girlfriend and leave? Another thing the baby is 6 weeks old and it is time to work on his sleeping before you go to work. Put some cereal or baby food applesauce in his last bottle so that he will get full. Try melotonin oil after his bath at night. The oil is sold in the baby section. Hopefully a family member is able to watch the baby while you work. Make sure it is your family member. If not do your homework and find a reputable daycare. Your local social services department can give you a list or go on their website under childcare and it should be a list there including any past violations they may have had. Stop depending on the boyfriend and make sure you can take care of yourself and your baby. Let him continue to pay the bills if he wants and put your money to the side and pay for your own childcare.
It’s a phase that passes. It gets easier. Don’t be in too much of a rush to get back to work. If your pay will be entirely or majority consumed by the costs of daycare, it’s literally not worth going back to work for. So keep that in mind. It’s a little hectic in the beginning but it does smooth out and get easier. Ask your guy to help out too.
Working 9 hours a day (most likely having a 1 hour lunch break) 5 days a week does not excuse him from being a father.
Well he works a full time job you should be doing the nighttime feedings and diapers during the week, but he definitely should be helping on the weekends. That’s how it was with my daughter, but my husband also had to start work at 4am when she was a newborn.
He should be helping more yes but in reality that’s motherhood for ya. Babies are hard, yet rewarding. I have 3 and you just have to make it work. I’m a stay at home mom and I dont get sick days, breaks, my husband works his butt off and is an amazing father but I do most of the work. It comes with being a mother. It will get easier.
Do not put cereal in a baby bottle🤦🏻♀️ good way to have a baby choke!
He should be doing half of the responsibilities. Talk to him about it and be firm in your requirements from him. Just because he works all day doesn’t mean he gets to kick back once he gets home while you do everything. My husband is an ER nurse, works back to back 12s overnight, and he still makes sure I have a moment to breathe before he does what he needs to do. From day one he would change diapers, wake up in the middle of the night to bring me the baby (I breastfed), all of that. But I also made sure he knew his responsibilities before baby arrived. I hope things work out for you.
For one a 6 week old baby is NOT going to sleep for hours at a time. Maybe in some rare cases but usually they are up every few hours to eat. Why arent you resting/sleeping when the baby sleeps ? Unless you guys are absolute slobs, keeping a house clean with 2 adults (with one not being there during the day) and a newborn, no reason to clean the house every single day and unless your child is sick or theres something wrong with it, you’re going to drs appnts all the time ?? This is seriously dramatic. No reason you cannot shower while your baby is napping…or just bring them in the bathroom with you in a bassinet or sleeper or whatever. As for going back to work, be prepared to have half your income gone…not ti mention your baby will be exposed to all kinds of illnesses so be prepared for them to get sick and then you will need to figure out which one of you will miss work to take care of a sick child.
When I didn’t work I got up every night every time with our daughter. I also spotlessly cleaned our house and did everything for our baby. That was my job since I was home and my husband wasn’t If you want to go back to work speak directly to him about it but as long as your home more of these responsibilities fall to you.
Your still there? Why?
You know how many times my husband has woken up between all 4 kids? Maybe 5. It’s more trouble than it’s worth. My husband works long hours now and gets to enjoy all the nice parts of a clean house, fed kids, clean kids. Etc. Without doing the work. You’ll adjust to the loss of sleep. Trust me, after 4 kids and having 2 kids 14 months apart… you will be okay
You need to do you! If that means daycare and you working, go for it!!
HE WANTS YOU
HE WON’T LET YOU
Why do you LET HIM TELL you what you can do or not do.
Don’t you know to nap with the baby. Why does your baby wake up EIGHT Xs a night?
Put your foot down! He’s seriously slacking the father/husband role and that’s unacceptable. I’d go work, if you wanna work. He needs a reality check. Maybe couples counseling or early childhood development meetings would help your relationship. Best of luck mama
He’s not forcing you to stay home. You need to sit him down and talk TO HIM about this. Going to work full-time is going to be difficult as well. None of it is easy, and it’s usually not always fair. Some people do it all alone. A lot of men are distant a well, it’s just the way they are. So keep that it mind down the road when you suddenly get baby fever again.
I honestly hate people telling you that you “have it made” you need HELP. You didn’t make the baby alone. “Welcome to motherhood” my ASS. My BD worked and helped when he was home, we take turns at night and I stayed home during the day. Sometimes I’d get up an extra time at night but we shared the responsibility of our shared child. Motherhood means you’re tired sure but it doesn’t mean you should be exhausted and under appreciated because he doesn’t think he has to be a dad and help. Also, if he isn’t willing to help he doesn’t get a say in what you do. Go get a job girl he’s not your dad. I’d be a single parent, you don’t have to “get used to it” h can either help or he can go in my opinion.
Yeah, I wouldn’t have even started him out thinking that that’s how this is going to go. You didn’t make the baby alone, and you dont need to care for him alone. Give him the baby and go to bed.
You didn’t make him alone. He needs to share responsibility. Him working doesn’t entitle him to anything. At least he can go to the bathroom whenever he wants and take a lunch break. Ask for more and explain how exhausted you are. You don’t have the option to drink beer and play on your phone why should he
Try every night for 3 of them for a couple of years each 
I’m sorry! But he made that baby too. Regardless of who does what and who has a job, both of you should be pulling your weight. When I was on maternity leave from work- bet your ass my husband got up and help me with our children that we made together.
My boyfriend works at 4 am and I would never ever ever expect him to get up at night with our baby. I stay home with her all day and can sneak a nap in. He can’t. He still helps with her during the evenings so i can shower and eat alone and stuff but yoou should definitely be the one getting up at night since he works in the morning.
My husband always worked and helped with the babies when he got home. However I stayed up through the night because he needs sleep for work. He’d help through the night on weekends. We have a son with autism so I know how exhausting it can be. I didn’t sleep for two years.
If he works then yes, your job is keeping house, cleaning cooking etc… HOWEVER, parenting isn’t just a mums job! Spending time with your child is a gift, and he should want to split that as much as possible. My husband and I both work, and we both take in some if the kids responsibilities. I do pick up (from school/nursery) and tea, he dies bath/homework. Etc. It has to be even, otherwise he will end up with no relationship with his kid. X
I think all of this should’ve been sorted out before having a child together. You could always talk to him about everything and come to a mutual agreement on things.
Well honestly that’s your job right now, you should be thankful you have the opportunity to do this because the infant stage FLIES by. I know it’s exhausting right now but It gets easier momma. I promise. On my man’s days off at the beginning he would get up with the baby and let me sleep. I would sleep till like 1 in the afternoon. Idk again it will pass and just be thankful he’s working because some moms have dead beat baby daddy’s that aren’t willing to provide for you and your baby while you stay at home with your little one. Your baby needs you at this time!
You can do a schedule of what need to be done in the house. That way you are not overwhelmed everyday with everything. I’m a stay at home mom and my partner help me with different thing. I ask him what chores he want to do, that way he choose the thing he is able to do by himself. He also help with the baby at night and giving her a bath. I wish you the best mom. You are the best!
So this was similar to my past two pregnancies. My husband admits he was very immature and not helpful. I am expecting our third, and we will be working full time. We talked and he k ones that just as we share the household duties, and parenting duties for our two older babies- I’ll also need help sometimes in the night with our newborn. I’m breastfeeding- so no help there
Go to work. If you will be making more money than him then it sounds like you will be able to afford daycare so just go back to work. In the meantime, when your baby is napping during the day, take a nap as well. It is not lazy parenting to nap when the baby is napping.
My husband took 2 weeks off when our son was born to help me and make sure I was getting rest. We took turns getting up in the middle of the night. I feel it is important for dad to get up and feed and change the baby as well as mom. It is good one on one bonding. My bond with my son was strong through cuddle time while I nursed but his bond with his dad was also strong because I would pump and have milk ready for my husband to bottle feed him and cuddle him at night. Even when my husband went back to work (he wouldn’t get up in the middle of the night but) as soon as he got home he took over caring for our son so that I could shower and make dinner. Weekends I was able to sleep in while he got up with our baby. I guess I got lucky because now I see more and more stories of dads not wanting to help. It’s really sad but at the end of the day the dad needs to help out otherwise why even keep him around? I am thinking your bf is insecure about you going back to work because he doesn’t want you to make more money than him.