My boyfriend doesn’t like if I have any male friends, especially single ones*, in real life, and more often the issue, on social media. He surfs my last active times, liked pages, liked posts, how many days ago I liked something, and if there was something I needed to discuss. (Snarky tone, not loving.) (It was a trauma awareness post. I have had past bad relationships, PFA’s, etc., in the past.) I have nothing to hide, but I feel it’s intrusive. What do you think?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend doesn't like that I have male friends.r
He doesn’t want female friends too?
I’m right there with you.Mine goes threw my phone,looks at everything,questions me about everything.Had me block a little of people on fb.
Of he doesnt trust you now- what’s the point.
My parent got to the point if my mom went to the store- she had to show receipts with time stamps. (Before debit cards) I wouldn’t imagine if social media was poppin back then.
I recommend finding someone who trusts you. These things tend to only get worse not usually better.
Going through the issue of boyfriend not wanting me to have guy friends because he says a guy never wants to be just a friend with no benefits. God forbid I talk about what goes on at work with my guy friends cause he gets annoyed… so dumb
Sounds super insecure. Get a boyfriend who trusts you!!
Just run. Very very far away.
Start searching “how to peg your bf/ significant other”
He’ll get used to it or leave.
Leave that crap. We are women, not kids that need to be babysat. Negative captain.
Get rid of that… No trust issue u don’t need that shit girl
Not good, not going to get better. Red flags abound. Leave. It IS a big deal and gets worse.
Super controlling and that’s not what you want. If he has to stalk your pages to see what you do that’s a major and he’s super insecure and shouldn’t be in a relationship
He is extremely insecure and possibly controlling. I would talk to him and let him know this will not work if he continues this behavior. If he can’t trust you why be with you. If he decides he’s not going to actually try then I would leave him.
I personally don’t think he would change but I don’t know him sooo. My concern is he will become more abusive so it’s best to get out sooner then later.
Tell him if he can’t trust you to leave. Seriously.
Get rid of him now. Are you looking for an insane boss or are you looking for a boyfriend. He’s treating you like you are stupid and have no sense at all!
Dump him- it’s a control issue if he’s taking alll that time to “find” something to “catch you” in. Red flag warning
If you don’t care that he has single female friends and you don’t stress him then yes you should be able to do the same
Him: we have something to discuss!
Me: yes we do- like packing your damn bags
Have you tried being direct? I have said, “these are my friends and I care about them and I’m not going to stop talking to them because you tell me to.” Saying that a couple of times, he’ll either change or leave.
Narcissistic
Get out
He needs to be your ex. That isn’t healthy behavior and it’s only going to get worse
I would leave. You are your own person if they don’t love you for who/what you are then yup leave. It only gets worse hun.
That’s a lot of red flags, you need to nope right on out.
He has some serious insecurities. He needs to either be able to trust you or find a woman that cuts everyone off when she meets a man. There are plenty of them nutters out there. That is the sign of the beginnings of an abusive relationship.
Get rid, he’s a control freak and clearly doesn’t trust you, no man is worth that crap…
Leave him now and don’t look back. It will only get worse.
That’s some serious invasion of privacy there!!!
Run. Anyone who is that intrusive about your goings on does not respect you!
What he’s counting on is YOU will take accountability for his f****d up ways. And YOU will be sorry (for doing absolutely nothing wrong!) and YOU will terminate all male friendships.
Do yourself a huge favour and get out.
Red flags sounds like a control freak
You HAVE to have trust.
He’s really insecure and controlling. Neither of those are good. He will only get worse. Tell him to either get therapy for his past issues he’s clearly brought into the relationship or leave before he gets worse. I don’t usually say leave because so many women say that over the smallest things but the last thing you want or need is an insecure man controlling you. It’ll take a big hit on you mentally and physically. Respect and love yourself more than that.
I would get out now before it gets way worst.
Jealousy and insecurities will get you nor him anywhere period. You need to sit him down and talk to him not at him and tell him that this isn’t acceptable for you and that he has nothing to fear from your relationship with your friends they are just that and he is going to have to trust you or he needs to leave or you do one that’s not healthy for you or him my motto on this is I absolutely do not stress what is out of my control you can’t stop another person from doing something wether your there or not that’s on the other person not you so if this is a relationship that you want to work your going to have to communicate for starters and then there needs to be boundaries set by you both what is and is not acceptable on your side and vice versa and he is going to have to work his trust issues as well but first is communication a clos3d mouth never gets fed
You have a CURRENT bad relationship.
He doesn’t trust you because of his own insecurities, if you don’t have trust you don’t have anything in my opinion. It will only get worse
He sounds very controlling and jealous and insecure and immature. Save youR self heartbreak. You see the signs .you d be better off to end it Now.take your time with relationships.
I had an ex like that n I would advise u to run cuz if he IS doing that he’s potentially running around on you and Is trying to paint u out as the bad guy ….RUN
I mean do you do the same to him? If so then it’s completely fair. If not then it might not and might warrant an inquiry as to specifics from his POV as to why.
Toxic man. Lol leave him
I’m thinking it’s time for you to find a new boyfriend.
You need a new boyfriend
I’m going to be honest here about my self I was the same as your saying he is I would get upset if he had woman on Facebook ect him making comments to them some of them would be out of line and shouldn’t of been said being in a relationship others I should of never had a thought of them being anything but I did and always made something out of it He lied to me a lot I never believed him after the first lie but me being the way I was destroyed anything we could of had we have a child together and we have no relationship all we do is fight everything turns in a fight no matter what it is ! So that being said I think you really need to be open and honest if you have not already about your feelings and him being that way. If he’s not open to listening to you or helping you both have a healthy relationship leave it will destroy you. He was not perfect by any means but me being the way I was because of him lying and me feeling Insecure and insecure about my self it never worked. He wasn’t willing to under me either or help me get past my feelings he would sometimes do things to hurt me on Purpose. I hope for the best for you whatever you choose just make sure your happy !
He’s a seriously insecure man.
It’s intrusive. If he doesn’t trust you, your relationship lacks a foundation. If he’s been cheated on before, I recommend therapy. If he’s just extremely jealous then are you willing to tolerate this behavior? You decide what behavior is ok in your relationships.
Historically, most of my friends have been male and most of my bf’s have been female. There’s no jealousy or worry with either of us. We both posted that in our online dating profiles and it was a relief from the beginning that there’d be no drama.
Toxic. I had a ex who did this to me and it was such chaos. Time to be single like a Pringle
Before jumping the “Breakup” gun, speak with him. Try to understand where he is coming from, and come to a middle ground. Relationships are never perfect. Does a garden grow perfect without work? No. It doesn’t. If you weed your garden and take care of it, there won’t be any “weeds”.
Major red flags controlling behaviour i wouldn’t be with someone who was like that no way.
My best mate is a male if any guy i date has a problem with that he wouldn’t be sticking around
Neither my husband or I find it necessary to have friends of the opposite sex unless we all know each other and hangout together. To be honest, if it’s making him uncomfortable that you are friends with other guys, he should straight up tell you that instead of acting like a psycho. There could be underlying trust issues. And obviously if you having male friends is a deal breaker for him, you should break it off so he can find a female with similar beliefs.
Try to talk about it with him first, some people lash out and act crazy when they don’t know how to communicate what they are feeling. Friendships should always have boundaries so they don’t turn into an emotional affair. And if it’s nothing like that, just explain it to him and try to meet somewhere in the middle.
Dump him. Soon it will be your female friends he doesn’t want you to talk to. Too controlling.
Just by reading the intro I knew your boyfriend is controlling and jealous. Break up with him and find someone who will trust you. You deserve better.
Sounds controlling and toxic, no one should ever snoop through their partners phone, he needs to learn to trust you.
Use that red flag as a cape and fly away.
He’s just your boyfriend…imagine if you get married. Red flags
He needs to go… I can feel the red flags flapping in the wind.
Sounds way too controlling for me. If he doesn’t trust you why are you with him? That’s not a healthy relationship.
Only male & female in this world, who else are we gonna interact with. You dont want a jealous, insecure relationship.
Big red Flag '“”" Run
He doesn’t trust you. It’s hard to have a relationship without trust. Depending on how he acts about it it may be time to move on.
LEAVE! if he is going that deep into your social media you gotta just let him go. before it gets worse. and it will.
There’s more to the story on why he doesn’t like that you have male friends. You may have had bad past experiences but so may he. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon of ‘leave him, he’s toxic, he’s controlling, etc’ you need to grow up and ask why he’s not trusting you. You women are so bitter.
Get this man out of your life ASAP. He’s going to end up being very controlling trust me
My husband and I have both males and females as friends on our social media. We both trust each other and we talk abt it together. If your partner or bf or gf don’t like you have male friends then he got jealous issue, trust issue, and mostly part of controlling signs. I have been thru that with my ex I threw him out of my house and got rid of him.
Get rid of him it’s only going to get worse
This is a huge red flag. Do not waste anymore of your time.
People value different things. Privacy is a big deal for me. I wouldn’t invade someone else’s, and I wouldn’t want mine invaded. Y’all need to set boundaries and decide if your values can coincide. Neither of y’all should be uncomfortable in your relationship. If you can’t reach a working compromise, it’s probably best to let it go.
If your looking for a long relationship with that level of insecurity endure it, but if you think about the next levels it gets bleek, enjoy surrendering your underwear every night for a CSI investigation and the torpedoing of ALL your friendships and family
That’d a big red flag. Time to walk away from that
Your friends are YOUR FRIENDS. Boyfriend is a boyfriend. Dump all of your guy friends, then when boyfriend goes bye-bye, whhere are your guy friends? Don’t think they will still be there. Kick boyfriend to the curb.
sounds too possessive, and demanding for abf
If possible sit him down and have an adult conversation with him about it, try find out why he needs to be so intrusive (dont say intrusive though cause he will react badly to this word) If he refuses to, tries to pin it back onto you or is just a plain dick about it then hes not worth your time or energy.
There is no harm in getting ready to leave anyway, always make sure you have a trusted person who you can go to/stay with, packed bag with your passports, birth cert and most sentimental things (jewellery that cant be replaced etc) cash and even a spare phone if you can with new number.
I know this answer is a bit out the gate but its always best to be prepared, your safety is paramount and there is no way of knowing what could be coming next.
Goodluck girl you do whats best for you
My fiancee doesn’t mind me having male friends cause all the females usually don’t like me anyways, plus I grew up having more guy friends then female friends.
I’d be very concerned about his possessiveness.
He’s acting like he owns you hell no . What next analysing why you choose the underwear you did
HUGEEEEE RED FLAG thats stalking seriously who has time to even do that
Get away…Fast! Matter of fact…RUN! He’s way too insecure and jealous. The controlling behavior is only going to get worse.
I wouldn’t like my hubby liking other womens pictures etc. etc. but he wouldn’t like it if I did either. To be honest I don’t think I would feel comfortable with that whole friends thing either. If he had a specific friend that he was friends with for a while that might be different. Maybe I just have issues? Would you be cool with it if roles were reversed? You should tell him how you feel and go from there.
Well if this was turned around like it usually always is, so many women would be against what hes doing and that he could be cheating. I could see on social media having guy friends but you also said in real life, which you didn’t get into detail like if you go places with them or are you often alone with them or chill alone at their houses? Idk but if it were me, and yes ik is not, but since ur on here asking for advice, I would not just drop all my friends BUT I would have respect for my relationship cuz ik a woman wouldn’t want that done to her. He might be more into you than you are to him and if that’s the case just let him be if you are not ready to take on a serious role in a relationship. Unless he has a bunch of girls that he tags along with and is friends with an u don’t mind, but you can’t do what hes doing cuz he’s gets mad, I would say drop him. Don’t do something u are not ok with ur partner doing back to you.
Throw the whole boyfriend in the trash.
Been there, done that. RUN.
Nope. You need a partner, not a parent.
I think you need to run now. If he is already doing this now, it will get worse over time and he is going to start bossing you around.
I had this same situation. He created a Facebook page that I was the only friend on his page. He stalked every group I was in & page I liked then start arguments over everything. The no guy friend thing is because men are more likely to see abuse from other men. He didn’t want that. He’d pick fights because men I knew long before him (some since birth) would like a post or picture. If they comment it got really bad especially if it was a comment that showed they knew me more/longer than him. Seems like your bf is doing the same to you.
You are not something to be controlled, you are a woman to be loved.
Dump his ass, Sweetheart.
Someone sounds insecure and distrusting. Have you done anything in the past to loose his trust? If not you need to have a talk with him and if he doesn’t change then you need to move on.
Soon you won’t be able to sneeze or go to the bathroom without being interrogated, when it’s like this things don’t tend to get any better. Relationships should be based on trust, honestly, communication & love. Not stalking & control
Insecure and acting like OWNS you!
Run it will just get worse.
Red flag!! Get out of that relationship now!! It will escalate to worse!! He will start being abusive to u!
jealousy and possessiveness turns into rage nine times out of ten. run and never look back.
Tbh I have no single guy friends. He has no single women friends either…thou if he did I’m not bothered. I trust him. As for social media I have male friends…he’s not concerned with. I have 0 to hide. I don’t give them anything than friendly banter. Soooo he has trust issues OR he’s talking with someone and putting it on you because he feels guilty. Also no one is gonna tell me who I can & cannot talk to, but I respect my husband not to encourage these tom cats in thinking they have a chance. If that makes sense?
He’d already be gone. who’s got the time to constantly explain it’s just friends all the time? He’s clearly insecure but it’s shouldn’t be up to you to fix it.
Question…would you want him hanging out and texting a bunch of single women? Sounds like his feelings are valid and you should try to compromise to me. Tell him you wont text them and only hang with them when he is around. That would be fair. Dont talk to them on social media either. A lot of women break up with guys doing the reverse with single women,so…
First of all RED FLAGS everywhere. No one should be able to tell you who you can and can’t be friends with. If he’s that insecure and has that big an issue with your friends and social media then I suggest you leave him alone with his problems and move on.
So he’s showing you red flags and you’re still not running away?
Sounds like you have a type and would benefit from counseling or self love classes
If a girl felt like this , her feelings would be justified and " trust issues or having a bad past relationship" but if a guy doesn this he comes off as possessive. From personal experience if my fiance has a problem with who I talk to I stop talking to them out of respect to my fiance. Because I clearly would not like it at all if he had a friend I didn’t like and told me to deal with it
Ask him why he does it. If it isn’t part trauma related, time to go.
Red flag!! The controlling will get worse and then the beatings start. Leave, ASAP!!
I had a problem with my ex having female friend because these female friend had feelings for him and he was like they have been there but I’m the one who gave him a home, im The one who gave him food, money, clothes.