How old are you ? Serious question.
Tell the father. That’s selfish and immature of your boyfriend to tell you not to tell him. The man deserves to know he has a child. Your bf can still be a part of the child’s life but the real father has a right to know and does his family and most importantly, your child. Imagine finding out your mother never told your biological father about you because some guy told her not to. You’d be devastated. Do the right thing. Don’t keep it a secret to keep a man happy, think about your child and how it’d hurt her later in life. Is it worth that? If you ask me, no.
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I was in the same situation. My husband and I separated, saw other people, then got back together and found out I was pregnant. He didn’t wanna tell the bio and said he would raise it as his own. I didn’t feel right about that so I told the guy I was previously seeing. My husband and I ended up separating bc he couldn’t handle it & told me to choose between him or my unborn child. Called the baby a “f*cking mistake” and everything. I’m going through a divorce & also the bio dad has never met the baby or asked about her & shes 3 1/2 now & one of the biggest blessings in my life.
In conclusion, tell the man. Whether he will be in the child’s life or not, it’s only right that he atleast knows of her. Also in case of an emergency if family medical history was needed, etc.
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You have conscience and it’s telling u to do the right thing. Good luck
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Your daughter and her biological dad have the right to build a father daughter relationship and your daughter in years to come may not forgive u if u rob her of her right to know her biological dad and have that bond. It’s what’s right for your daughter and she would miss out on all other family members too by them never knowing shes family. These things have a habit of coming out sooner or later. I’d do right by your daughter her knowing she had two daddies is better than never knowing her real dad and her knowing u took that chance away from her x
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Don’t even tell your ex. Especially if he was abusive to you at any type of way. Or could go good for you because I told my daughter’s biological father about her and he chose to never meet her and she’s going to be two this year
God forbid something bad happens and she needs blood how are you going to explain that to her and the real father that you waited so long. I would tell him then if he wants nothing to do with her that’s a different story but you gave him a chance to be a father.
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Would you want to get to 20 and find out your whole life has been a lie and your dad isn’t really your dad?
You can never get that trust back.
It doesn’t matter how you, your ex, or your partner feel. It is entirely about that little girl and she deserves to know the truth.
She WILL find out and you really won’t ever get that trust back.
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Sell this story to lifetime. That’s what you should do. That’s a whole lot of… Well damn.
Ultimately… It’s not right to keep someone’s child from them. It sounds like your current bf might be insecure that he’ll lose this little family he loves. Maybe you help him with that… The sooner the better… Because the longer you keep her from him and his family, the longer you’re depriving him of his rights. Tends to be frowned upon in a court. And maybe he’ll say… Hey… I’m not ready for this and sounds like she already has a pretty amazing daddy. Then that’s his choice. And if you do it while she’s little… She won’t ever have to imagine. If he isn’t involved, she doesn’t have to know until the tone is right. If he is… Then she’s got two men to love and guide her.
All of my comment is assuming he would be a positive influence. Either way… You don’t keep this kind of thing a secret. It’s just harmful all the way around. And she’ll grow up… And then you have to look her in the eye and tell her what you did what you did.
You tell him. If he isn’t fit to be a father you can take him to court.
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If he is a garbage human I wouldn’t tell him. If you think he would be a good father and you can deal with him for 18 years then he deserves to know.
You should definitely tell the dude! What happens when the new guy bounces? That baby deserves to know who her father is good or bad.
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He has the right to know.
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Put yourself in your ex’s shoes! How would you feel if you found out that your ex girlfriend had your child and never told you? Dad has a right to his baby.
Ur the parent not ur bf
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Let him know. If he is abusive and you question the safety of the child get legal advice. You have to give him and his child that freedom to be together and know eachother unless you are scared for her life.
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It’s 100% not right.
That is a horribly selfish thing to do. You can’t deprive someone of their child. Wrong on so many levels.
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That might even be illegal? To keep the baby a secret. Not sure but please tell him or a social worker ect something asap you will feel better
Tell the real dad. He has the right to know
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The longer you wait the worse it will get there is no better time than now to expose the secret and wrongdoing it will be ok
It’s not his choice. And honestly I think it’s just plain wrong to lie to your child. If he’s what you say then he won’t get custody or anything anyway. So why wouldn’t you
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Tell him! It’s his right to know!
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Tell him. Not knowing who her REAL father is will effect her more than you know.
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That child actually has the right to know. It would be terribly traumatic to find out for her later.
Tell him. It’s rightfully his child. Can you imagine someone keeping that from you?! (If it was possible)
Just because y’all didn’t have a good relationship doesn’t mean he won’t be a good father! That’s definitely not right to keep that from someone or too keep your daughter from potentially being able too have a relationship with her dad. Just because he doesn’t want him to know doesn’t mean it’s his call.
That’s absolutely horrible. And terrible of your boyfriend to want to do that another person. It would
bother me that he has no conscious in the matter. It would definitely make me question his character. For sure, 100%, you need to tell your ex. That’s his child as much as it’s yours.
Go be a hoe. Or keep a happy family …
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The only way I could find this even remotely okay is if ex/baby daddy is an abusive POS.
If that’s isn’t the case, both your child and the father have a right to know about each other.
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This can’t be a serious question 😮💨
U have to tell the truth. How horrible
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Thats wrong on so many levels unless he’s abusive and tried harming you. He has right to be a dad and one way or another your daughtert will find out and hate you forever
Get a test make sure who is the real father
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Ask your boyfriend how he would feel if one of his ex-girlfriends had a baby that he was the biological father and he never knew. The sooner the real father knows the better, you don’t have to go after support, just offer to let him know her without the pressure to be “dad”.
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Is the biological father a danger to her? Going to cause problems that will hurt her in the long run? If not then you need to tell him. A friend of mine did this & years later her ex husband ( who was the father ) took her to court & did paternity to see his son. It hurt their son badly. It was a major transition for him being as he was young. She did it because her boyfriend didn’t want him around more. Not long after the boyfriend left her to. Your boyfriend should not be making decisions about that child’s future.
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Tell him the truth. He might deny it and you can just leave it that way if you want to.
You feel guilty for a reason lady. Tell him.
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Tell him. If your boyfriend loves that little girl as if she was his the best thing he can do for her is tell the dad. That is a big secret to keep and if the day comes when shes older that she finds out who her real dad is it could backfire on both of you. I know for a fact because i was that little girl
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You know what you need to do! Lying to your child will make them resent you.
If that’s the type of person your boyfriend is, you need to rethink your relationship with him. Dick.
Sorry, but you need to tell the truth. It’s very important for so many reasons. Just one woman’s opinion.
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If the biological father is not a danger to her , he should know & have the chance to be in her life.
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his who??? the exes or his??
Uh what happens later on in life medically. All of her information regarding her paternal family will be wrong… And awesome of new boyfriend to step up but what happens if y’all don’t stay together… would you feel okay if this was something ur ex kept from u?
I think he should know and your child may need to know his medical history in the future! My child’s father, her family has 4 generations of breast cancer including his mother… your child needs to know those things!!!
You need to tell your ex. That’s horrible of your current boyfriend to say that. You should be rethinking your relationship with him.
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Id explain that you feel you need to tell him. You can coparent. It’s his right to know.
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Tell him because in the end, that will hurt your daughter.
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This is fucked up. Tell the man. Let him choose
Tell your ex he has a right to know he is the father after all
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Honestly as someone that experience this on the child level. I would allow the child to have a relationship with the child’s father. Regardless of how the other party feels
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Maybe she is not a great mom just a mother so let’s see what happens in the future
Tell your ex! Your bf should be ashamed for thinking this is okay! Would he ever be ok with another guy dictating weather or weather not he had a relationship with his child? Probably not. Id retink this relationship. sounds toxic.
The father deserves to know
Woah woah he needs to know he has a kid
Why have you not ALREADY told him…wtf
Why is this even a question
Do the right thing and tell your ex he is the father. And if your current boyfriend doesn’t understand then he isn’t right for you.
That’s selfish of him,tell him I said I’m a step parent and divorced from their father.Guess what,when you raise a child blood or not it’s still yours.My step grandson is loved just as much as my own and I love and will fight for all my kids the same.
Nope you need to tell the real father the truth. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
So u jump from on raw dick onto another??? Gross. Ever heard of birth control or condoms. Ur going to end up with more than a baby if u keep it up.
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Important questions:
Is your boyfriend willing to marry you and put his name on the birth certificate so that he becomes the child’s forever father? Even pay child support if the marriage doesn’t work out?
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Tell your ex. He should have the option to be in her life or not. If he chooses not to then let your boyfriend sign her birth certificate as the father. But the ex should know he is a father.
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Pray and He will guide you !
I’m sorry but you need to tell the father… I know someone who never knew his father and his father never knew him and by the time he found out the father had passed he was so angry with his mother that he never got to have the relationship he wanted and his mother was selfish from hiding that from him… this isn’t about you or your new partner this is about your child… put yourself in his shoes…would you be upset not knowing your daughter???
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I’ve totally been there. I’m now married and when I left my ex I found out I was pregnant with my twins. My ex was an abusive asshole that put his addictions before us and so he has no idea about the kids cause I’m not willing to let them be subject to his behaviors. I’m sure she has reasons
Not up to the boyfriend the dad has every right to know.
What happens if you and your boyfriend break up next month?….You’ll be calling him then letting him know.I think it’s messed up that you wouldn’t want the biological dad to know.What will you tell your child when they grow up and ask why they don’t look like their father? I think it’s morally wrong to do something like that, and your going to regret it and if your not truthful.
I wouldn’t even date a person if they thought that was a good idea or that they even had that kind of say.
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Tell👏Him👏The👏Truth👏
I don’t know who this guy thinks he is but this right here screams red flags and shows he really isn’t mature enough to be a father in the first place and really he shouldn’t be the one deciding these things to begin with being the fact that it’s not his child🤷🏻♀️
Really who are any of you to decide who gets to know about their own child anyway this wouldn’t even be a question in my eyes!That is just so wrong! But that’s just my opinion I guess to each their own🤷🏻♀️
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He’s a boyfriend lol he’s nothing
Unless he was a horrible person that you feel would hurt your child you should tell him. He and your child deserve a relationship.
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This is the situation my brother was put in. Only we knew about the baby and always suspected that is was his but the girl absolutely refused to admit she was my brothers. Then some things happened and there was a court involved and the girl had to be told after 16 years that the man she believed was her biological father was not her father bcuz it was going to come out in court. My niece was not happy to find out after 16 years her dad was not actually her biological father and my brother who is an excellent father to his other 4 children (1 of which is not biologically his but that’s a story for another time) was extremely upset to have found out this actually was his child and had missed out on 16 years of her life! It’s just wasn’t right! It was completely unfair to them both. It’s been a few years since it all came to light and now they live in different states and my brother and his wife and kids r constantly trying to take trips to see her so they don’t miss out on anymore big life events and just in general getting to know each other bcuz they both DEFINITELY wished they had known all those years.
Let the bf keep that child as his he already wants her and wants to be her dad without the actual dad . Maybe this was your fate . Let him be her father . Tou might be choosing the best man ever for her
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Tell the truth Jesus
Wtf. And so when this dude leaves you when this kid is a certain age then you tell the father and get him for back child support…bc thats how evil people are. This is exactly why I think fathers should have rights equal to mothers.
It’s not right. The truth always comes to light.
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Gtfoh you’re trash for asking this. Miss me with your comments if you disagree
Honestly, at the end of the day, just do the right thing. What if one day your daughter resents you for lying all those years? Be honest with yourself and your daughter.
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The ex has every right to know he has a child. The kid should have the opportunity to know her father.
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What is wrong with you? You hide your entire pregnancy from him and his family your cruel
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He can still love the child like it’s his own… With the biological father still knowing and being involved… The more people that love the baby… The better…but you definatley should be telling the bio dad he has a child… I don’t understand why you havnt… In a way you are robbing your child of it God given right to know its dad… Now if he ain’t interested in being a father then proceed from there if he chooses to not be involved… But either way your child will grow up one day… And ask questions… Just be real and honest and save yourself and your child alot of grief later…
He has a right to know
You tell the father it is his child!!!
Omg tell the real dad that’s so messed up to keep a child from their father and father from their child
Tell the man! If there’s a possibility for another human to love and care for your child take it. This doesn’t decrease your boyfriends importance and place in her life. It increases the amount of ppl on this earth who will care for her. Also, the extended family as well.
With DNA kits the way they are and bases for finding out genetic abnormalities the truth will come out regardless. Being honest now can save you from a lifetime of regret and future resentments. He deserves to know.
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Ummm tell him the truth
Okay so I don’t think it needs to come out right away. That’s just my opinion. Tell the child down the line.
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He has 100% a right to know, & so does your child when shes old enough. You would be lieing to a lot of people, not just your ex.
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Does the other “bio” dad even care? If he hasnt went about talking to you I wouldn’t bother the man. Only YOU would know and honestly if it depressed you maybe it isnt the ebst idea to bring him into yalls lives.
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And when someone sees the child and tells the real daddy and he takes you to court when the child is 3 or 4. Then you have to explain mommy is a liar and they have another daddy they will be spending up to half their life with……. Yeah that screws a kid up. Tell all the effected parties now
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Your child has the right to know who her real father is and your ex deserves to know he has a child out there.
Whether or not he decides to step up is his own thing to worry about but don’t keep them from each other
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If he was abusive I wouldn’t say a word.
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Is this a forreal question? Where are the morals in people? The real father needs to absolutely know! Not that he will actually believe you at this point! But shame on you!
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It’s not about you and it sure is hell isn’t about the bf! It’s about the little girl you are preventing from knowing her father. Do the right thing. Because it will come out and she will hate you for it when it does.
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My husband was told his oldest was his but he said he always knew his daughter found us seven months ago she has so many questions and anger twords her mom for lying for 20 years so u should tell him give him a choice
He has the right to know & have a relationship with his child .n your child has a right to have a relationship with her bio dad… I would tell him asap
Her father deserves to know.
Thats not your boyfriends decisions to make. He sounds toxic.
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Whoever the OP is, PLEASE message me, I may have some solid advice, I’ve been in a similar situation!!